Burn
by awalkerlifeforme
Summary: Aspen Antaeus and Cato Hadley won the 74th Hunger Games. The two haven't seen each other in months, but with the Victory Tour around the corner they will be reunited. But with plots for Aspen's death are being thrown around and the third Quarter Quell only months away, Aspen will be forced to make a decision she hoped to never have to. One way or another, the Capitol will burn.
1. Chapter 1

Slowly I slipped from my bed and headed down the hallway. As expected, Katniss was waiting for me down on the couch. "Where are you going?" she asked.

"Out."

"It's three in the morning," she pointed out.

"I can't sleep," I said.

"Don't go out there by yourself."

"So come with me."

Katniss let out a long sigh. "Come back soon, alright?" she asked.

"I'll be back before noon," I said.

The two of us exchanged a quick hug as I headed out towards the woods. Everything these days felt wrong. Lately everything was going wrong. Every day I spent almost completely alone. I didn't really do mornings anymore. I would stay up until three or four in the morning so that I was so exhausted I would finally fall asleep from a complete lack of sleep. Even then it was a restless sleep. I wouldn't really wake up until about eleven or twelve, shaking and drenched in sweat from my nightmares. I would stand in the shower for nearly an hour and then I would head out into the living room.

By that time Gale was at work and Katniss was hunting. After that I would eat something that would leave even a pigeon hungry and lay on the couch for a while longer, trying to find something on the television that wasn't the Hunger Games related. Once I would finally work up enough strength to leave the couch I would head into the garden and chat with Prim for a while. She knew that I really wasn't comprehending much of what she was saying to me but I appreciated the effort. If I felt like it that day I would head out to have a small talk with Haymitch. Although we rarely talked.

There was nothing that either one of us really wanted to talk about. Everything that we had to talk about was related to the Games. Everything seemed to be related to the Games. Instead we would drink and play a game of darts before I would silently slip from his house. He knew that even though I didn't say goodbye, I was making the silent promise that I would be back soon. Sometimes I would check my mailbox on the way back to the house for letters from Cato or Finnick but those were rare.

The Capitol were extremely slow about letter delivery. After a disappointing lack of delivery I would turn and head back to the place that I spent most of my days avoiding. By that time it was normally close to dinner time and I would head back home to see that Gale was back from work and Katniss was back with the small amount of game. Not that Katniss really needed to hunt anymore. I was pretty sure that it just made her feel better. Plus it was time for her and Gale to get out of the house and conspire on their next plot to get me out of my funk.

They had come up with a number of ways to try and get me back to normal. Some days were better than others and they knew that. Some days I was back to normal and other days I just wanted to be left alone to soak in my misery. The last few months had been terrible. My nightmares were only getting worse with the passing days and I knew that I scared Prim in the middle of the night with my screaming. Katniss tried to get me to perk up with girl talk about Cato but I rarely had anything to say to her other than checking to make sure that she was alright.

Ms. Everdeen had become a real mother to me but that didn't mean that I was really that close to her. She tried to make my favorite meals and talk with me at night but nothing that she did worked. Even Madge had visited a few times, telling me that she was grateful that I had worn the pin. I would tell her that it was no problem before turning to look out my window and waiting for her to take her leave. Haymitch would try to get me to talk every once in a while but one shake of my head would shut him up instantly. He didn't want to talk anyways. He wanted to drink.

Everyone in my life had just become a figure that was trying to get me back to normal but nothing was working. I was just a shell of the girl that had gone into the Games. It was what hurt even more on the day that I felt normal. I would have a good time with them like we used to before returning to my deadened state. I knew that it hurt them even more than it hurt me. Even Gale had been trying to get me to open up to him again. He had probably been the most successful but I still rarely talked with him.

Sometimes we would talk about the Games and he would let me cry about everything that had happened to me in them. Or other times I would tell him about the foolish people in the Capitol and would smile when he laughed at my stories. We had gotten along like nothing had changed in the beginning, but as the months had gone by and the Victory Tour had gotten closer he had gotten more hostile. Gale wanted nothing to do with Cato but I wanted the two men to meet each other. They were the two most important guys in my life and, damn it, I would get them to learn to get along if it killed me.

Finally I got to my spot and plopped down. I clasped the flask that I had taken between my hands for hours, even long after the heat was sapped away. My muscles were clenched tight against the cold. If a pack of wild dogs were to appear at that moment, the odds of scaling a tree before they attacked were not in my favor. I knew that I should get up, move around, and work the stiffness from my limbs. But instead I sat as motionless as the rock beneath me while the dawn began to lighten the woods. I couldn't fight the sun. I could only watch helplessly as it drug me into a day that I'd been dreading for months.

By noon they would all be at my new house in Victor's Village. The reporters, the camera crews, even Effie Trinket, my old Escort, would have made their way to District 12 from the Capitol. I wondered if Effie would still be wearing that silly pink wig or if she would be sporting some other unnatural color especially for the Victory Tour. There would be others waiting, too. A staff to cater to my every need on the long train trip. A Prep Team to beautify me for public appearances. My Stylist and friend, Cinna, who designed the gorgeous outfits that first made the audience take notice of me in the Hunger Games.

If it were up to me, I would have tried to forget the Hunger Games entirely. Never speak of them. Pretend they were nothing but a bad dream. But the Victory Tour made that impossible. Strategically placed almost midway between the annual Games, it was the Capitol's way of keeping the horror fresh and immediate. Not only were we in the Districts forced to remember the iron grip of the Capitol's power each year, we were forced to celebrate it. And this year, I was one of the stars of the show.

I would have to travel from District to District, to stand before the cheering crowds who secretly loathed me, to look down into the faces of the families whose children I had killed... It would all culminate in the Capitol at the end of two weeks. It wasn't even being there that would be that bad. At least Cato would be with me. It was the fact that I would have to face Seneca Crane and give up the last thing - the only thing - that the Capitol hadn't taken away from me.

The sun persisted in rising, so I made myself stand. All my joints complained and my left leg had been asleep for so long that it took several minutes of pacing to bring the feeling back into it. I had now been in the woods for three hours but I'd made no real attempt at hunting and I had nothing to show for it. It didn't matter for the Everdeen's and me. We could afford to buy butcher meat in town, although none of us liked it any better than fresh game. But Gale and his family would be depending on today's haul and I couldn't let them down. So I started the hour-and-a-half trek it would take to cover our snare line.

Back when we were in school, we had time in the afternoons to check the line and hunt and gather and still get back to trade in town. It was always a good plan. But now that Gale had gone to work in the coal mines and Katniss was still in school for another year and a half - and I had nothing to do all day - I had taken over the job. It didn't bother me. It gave me a lot of time to be on my own without getting questioned about my absence.

By now Gale would have clocked in at the mines, taken the stomach-churning elevator ride into them, and be pounding away at a coal seam. I knew what it was like down there. Every year in school, as part of our training, we had to tour the mines. When I was little it was just unpleasant. The claustrophobic tunnels, foul air, and suffocating darkness on all sides. But after Mr. Everdeen and several other miners were killed in an explosion, I could barely force myself onto the elevator. The annual trip became an enormous source of anxiety. Twice Katniss and I had made ourselves so sick in anticipation that her mother kept us home because she thought that we had contracted the flu.

Gale was only really alive in the woods, with its fresh air and sunlight and clean, flowing water. I didn't know how he stood it. Actually I did. He stood it because it was the way to feed his family. Here I was with buckets of money, far more than enough to feed both our families now, and he wouldn't take a single coin. It was even hard for him to let me bring in meat, although he would surely have kept the Everdeen's supplied if I'd been killed in the Games. I kept telling him that he was doing me a favor because it drove me nuts to sit around all day. Which was true.

Even so, I never dropped off the game while he was at home. Which was easy since he worked twelve hours a day. The only time that I really got to see Gale now was on Sundays, when we met up in the woods to hunt together with Katniss. It was the one day that I went out and forced myself to be normal. It was still the best day of the week, but it wasn't like it used to be before, when we could tell each other anything. The Games had spoiled even that. I kept hoping that as time passed we would regain the ease between us, but I knew it was futile. There was no going back.

I managed to get a good haul from the traps - eight rabbits, two squirrels, and a beaver that swam into a wire contraption Gale designed himself. He was something of a whiz with snares, rigging them to bent saplings so they pull the kill out of the reach of predators, balancing logs on delicate stick triggers, and weaving inescapable baskets to capture fish. I carefully reset each snare as I went. I knew that I could never quite replicate his eye for balance. He knew where the prey would cross the path. It was more than experience. It was a natural gift.

Like the way that I could shoot at an animal in almost complete darkness and still take it down with one arrow. Or the way that I could hear a change in the wind and know exactly where to throw a knife to make an instant kill. Or the way that I could throw a knife blindly and still manage to lodge it in a young boy's eye. I cringed and kept walking.

By the time I made it back to the fence that surrounded District 12, the sun was well up. As always, I listened for a moment, but there was no telltale hum of electrical current running through the chain link. There hardly ever was, even though it was supposed to be charged full-time. I wriggled through the opening at the bottom of the fence and came up in the Meadow. It was just a stone's throw from my home. My old home. I didn't get to keep mine - since I was the only person that lived there - but the Everdeen's got to keep theirs since officially it was the designated dwelling of the Everdeen family.

If I was to drop dead right now, they would have to return to it. But at present, all three of them were happily installed in the new house in the Victor's Village. Although Katniss and I did return to use the squat little place where we were raised. To us, it was our real home. I even went to my old home sometimes. The squatters would give me a break and leave for a while just to let me be in peace. It was a respect kind of thing and I greatly appreciated it.

So I went there to switch my clothes. They would be expecting me in something nicer when they saw me. I exchanged my father's old leather jacket - that was falling apart at the seams - for a fine wool coat that always seemed too tight in the shoulders. I exchanged my mother's bleached pants for a pair of finely knit white cotton ones. I left my soft, worn hunting boots for a pair of expensive machine-made shoes that Katniss's mother always thought were more appropriate for someone of my status. I had already stowed my bow and arrows and knives in a hollow log in the woods.

Although time was ticking away, I allowed myself a few minutes to sit in the kitchen. It had an abandoned quality with no fire on the hearth and no cloth on the table. I mourned my old life here and next door. We barely scraped by, but I knew where I fit in, and I knew what my place was in the tightly interwoven fabric that was our life. I wished that I could go back to it because, in retrospect, it seemed so secure compared with now, when I was so rich and so famous and so hated by the authorities in the Capitol.

A wailing at the back door demanded my attention. I opened it to find Buttercup, Prim's scruffy old tomcat. He disliked the new house almost as much as I did and always left when she was at school. We had never been particularly fond of each other, but now we had this new bond. I let him in, fed him a chunk of beaver fat, and even rubbed him between the ears for a bit. After calling him hideous and petting him for a moment, I scooped him up with one hand, grabbed my game bag with the other, and hauled them both out onto the street. The cat sprung free and disappeared under a bush.

The shoes pinched my toes as I crunched along the cinder street. The damn shoes were too tight and gave me blisters. I hated them. And I hated the warm clothes that I was in now. I liked the weak fabric that I was in before. I liked the freezing. It reminded me that I was alive. Cutting down alleys and through backyards got me to Gale's house in minutes. His mother, Hazelle, saw me through the window, where she was bent over the kitchen sink. She dried her hands on her apron and disappeared to meet me at the door.

Every part of me liked Hazelle. I had always respected her. The explosion that killed Katniss's father took out her husband as well, leaving her with three boys and a baby due any day. Less than a week after she gave birth, she was out hunting the streets for work. The mines weren't an option, what with a baby to look after, but she managed to get laundry from some of the merchants in town. At fourteen, Gale, the eldest of the kids, became the main supporter of the family. He was already signed up for Tessera, just like me. We had done it together.

On top of that, even back then, he was a skilled trapper. But it wasn't enough to keep a family of five without Hazelle working her fingers to the bone on that washboard. In winter her hands got so red and cracked that they bled at the slightest provocation. Still would if it wasn't for a salve Katniss's mother concocted. But they were determined, Hazelle and Gale, that the other boys, twelve-year-old Rory and ten-year-old Vick, and the baby, four-year-old Posy, would never have to sign up for Tessera.

Hazelle smiled when she saw the game. She took the beaver by the tail and felt its weight. "He's going to make a nice stew," she said.

Unlike Gale, she had no problem with our hunting arrangement. "Good pelt, too," I said. It was comforting here with Hazelle. Weighing the merits of the game, just as we always had. She poured me a mug of herb tea, which I wrapped my chilled fingers around gratefully. "You know, when I get back from the tour, I was thinking I might take Rory out with me sometimes. After school. Teach him to shoot."

Rory was a sweet kid and he was one of the few in the District that didn't treat me like a broken doll. Hazelle nodded. "That'd be good. Gale means to, but he's only got his Sundays, and I think he likes saving those for you," she said.

Despite everything I couldn't stop the redness that flooded my cheeks. Hardly anybody knew me better than Hazelle. She knew the bond that I shared with Gale. Everyone assumed that we would get married. But that was before the Games. Before my fellow Tribute, Cato Hadley, announced that he was attracted to me and we fell in love. Our romance became a key strategy for our survival in the arena. It was nothing but painful for Gale. Without Cato here was even worse. I knew that Gale was looking for me to tell him about Cato and me, since I had no one to stop me from saying anything, and that was exactly why I was avoiding him.

I gulped my tea even though it was too hot and pushed back from the table. "I better get going. Make myself presentable for the cameras," I said.

I just didn't want to think about Gale anymore. Hazelle hugged me. "Enjoy the food."

"Absolutely."

My next stop was the Hob, where I had traditionally done the bulk of my trading. Years ago it was a warehouse to store coal, but when it fell into disuse, it became a meeting place for illegal trades and then blossomed into a full-time black market. If it attracted a somewhat criminal element, then I belonged here, I guessed. Hunting in the woods surrounding District 12 violated at least a dozen laws and was punishable by death. Although they never mentioned it, I owed the people who frequented the Hob.

Gale told me that Greasy Sae, the old woman who serves up soup, started a collection to Sponsor me during the Games. It was supposed to be just a Hob thing, but a lot of other people heard about it and chipped in. One day I had asked Madge - who had helped out the collection - what it had bought me. It had bought me the cupcake on my birthday and the gauze and soup after the wolf attack. They might not have saved my life but I had been grateful for both of them.

It was still odd to drag open the front door with an empty game bag, with nothing to trade, and instead feel the heavy pocket of coins against my hip. The whole thing made me sick. It was too much money. I wanted to be at least soft of poor again. I tried to hit as many stalls as possible, spreading out my purchases of coffee, buns, eggs, yarn, and oil. As an afterthought, I bought three bottles of white liquor from a one-armed woman named Ripper, a victim of a mine accident who was smart enough to find a way to stay alive.

The liquor wasn't for my family. It was for Haymitch. He was surly, violent, and drunk most of the time. But he did his job - more than his job - because for the first time in history, two Tributes were allowed to win. So no matter who Haymitch was, I owed him, too. I was getting the white liquor because a few weeks ago he ran out and there was none for sale and he had a withdrawal, shaking and screaming at terrifying things only he could see. He scared Prim to death and it wasn't much fun for me to see him like that either. Ever since then I'd been sort of stockpiling the stuff just in case there was a shortage again.

Cray, our Head Peacekeeper, frowned when he saw me with the bottles. He was an older man with a few strands of silver hair combed sideways above his bright red face. "That stuff's too strong for you, girl," he said. He should know. Next to Haymitch, Cray drank more than anyone I had ever met.

"My mother uses it in medicines," I said indifferently.

Everyone knew that I had started referring to Ms. Everdeen as my mother. "Well, it'd kill just about anything," he said, and he slapped down a coin for a bottle.

When I reached Greasy Sae's stall, I boosted myself up to sit on the counter and ordered some soup, which looked to be some kind of gourd and bean mixture. A Peacekeeper named Darius came up and bought a bowl while I was eating. As law enforcers went, he was one of my favorites. Never really throwing his weight around and usually good for a joke. He was probably in his twenties, but he didn't seem much older than I was. Something about his smile, his red hair that sticks out every which way, gave him a boyish quality. He was a pretty nice guy.

"Aren't you supposed to be on a train?" he asked me.

"They're collecting me at noon."

"Shouldn't you look better?" he asked in a loud whisper. I couldn't help but to smile at his teasing, in spite of my mood. In spite of my fear of Seneca Crane. "Maybe a ribbon in your hair or something?" He flicked my braid with his hand and I brushed him away.

"Don't worry. By the time they get through with me I'll be unrecognizable."

"Good. Let's show a little District pride for a change, Miss Antaeus. Hm?"

He shook his head at Greasy Sae in mock disapproval and walked off to join his friends. "I'll want that bowl back," Greasy Sae called after him, but since she was laughing, she didn't sound particularly stern. "Gale going to see you off?"

The Capitol would have a fit if he was there to see me off. "No, he wasn't on the list. I saw him Sunday, though," I said.

"Think he'd have made the list. Him being your cousin and all," she said wryly.

It was just one more part of the lie the Capitol had concocted. When Cato and I made it into the final eight in the Hunger Games, they sent reporters to do personal stories about us. When they asked about my friends, everyone directed them to Gale and Katniss. Of course Katniss and Prim were fine. Even Madge was fine. But Gale wouldn't do, what with the romance Cato and I had playing out in the arena, to have my best friend be Gale. He was too handsome, too male, and not the least bit willing to smile and play nice for the cameras.

We had already made it clear that we were friends during the initial home interviews but the Capitol had concocted some story that we had recently found out that we were distantly related and since we had no previously proved romantic entanglement, the Capitol bought it hook line and sinker. Thankfully there was no photographic proof of the one kiss that we had shared. They were stupid enough to buy it. Gale and I looked nothing alike. I didn't know about it until we were already home. When the cameras came to talk to us Katniss had just told me to go along and I had.

It made everything very awkward between the two of us. Gale and I now had to be very careful around each other and watch our words. I wished that we hadn't but my relationship with Cato had made things very complicated between the two of us. I wished that Gale had never kissed me before the start of the first Games. Greasy Sae knew that we weren't related, but even some of the people who had known us for years seemed to have forgotten.

"I just can't wait for the whole thing to be over," I whispered.

"I know. But you've got to go through it to get to the end of it. Better not be late," Greasy Sae said.

A light snow started to fall as I made my way to the Victor's Village. It was about a half-mile walk from the square in the center of town, but it seemed like another world entirely. It was a separate community built around a beautiful green, dotted with flowering bushes. There were twelve houses, each large enough to hold ten of the one that I was raised in. Ten stood empty, as they always had. The two in use belonged to Haymitch and me. I walked into my own, headed straight upstairs, and walked into my room. To my surprise, someone else was already in it.

"Oh... Gale. I didn't know that you'd be here," I said.

"Got off early for the Victory Tour," Gale said bitterly.

"Oh. Gonna see me off?"

"If you want me there."

"Of course. But you weren't on the list," I said.

"Didn't expect to be," he said.

"Well I want you there anyways. I want you to meet -"

"No," Gale interrupted.

We'd had this conversation enough times that he knew where I was going with it. "Gale, you don't even have to like him. Just say hello," I said.

"I just wanted to come to say goodbye. Goodbye," Gale said harshly.

"Gale..."

But he was already gone. As Gale went stomping down the stairs I flopped onto my bed and nearly rolled myself onto the floor. The mattress felt wrong. It was too soft. Gale had told me enough times that there was no way that he would talk to the other Victor. It was still early in the morning, only about ten, and the Victory Tour officially started tomorrow. Cato would be here tonight. I wanted Gale to try to get along with him just tonight. I stood from the white sheets and kicked the chair that Katniss had been sitting in last night out of my way before heading out of the room and stomping down the stairs.

"You're meeting him, Gale!" I yelled at the top of my lungs as his long brown hair flashed in the corner of my eyes.

He whipped back around to me and I felt the anger shoot through me. Gale came within a few feet of me and the two of us stared at each other darkly. "Why the hell do you want me to meet him?" he asked.

"Because I love you both and I want you to meet each other!"

"All he ever did was screw you over during the Games and damn near kill you!"

"Do you not recall the medicine that he got me? He nursed me back to health! He kept me safe after R -"

My voice dropped off as I remembered little twelve-year-old Rue. "I know he did some good things. But screw him. I love you, Aspen, but I am not meeting him," Gale said, with a dangerous hiss to his voice.

"I'm asking you to do this one thing for me."

"Anything but that."

"Gale!" I shouted.

It didn't affect him. I knew that he was serious about not meeting him but this was Gale. He was never serious about these things. He would get angry with me for a while but he would get over the fact that he had to meet Cato and he would grit his teeth and do it. Just because I wanted him to. But this was more serious than I had seen him in a long time. I went to argue back with him that Cato was the reason that I was alive but Katniss stepped between us. Lately she had been the person that had diffused our fights and that wasn't stopping any time soon.

"Not this again," she sighed as she pinched the bridge of her nose.

"Get him to see it my way," I snapped at Katniss.

"Stop it. Come on, you two, stop fighting about this. I've heard this fight nearly every day since the Victory Tour got mentioned."

"So she should know how I feel," Gale said.

"Gale, leave her alone. He clearly means a lot to her and she wants you to meet him. Just suck it up and meet the guy," Katniss said. I gave a small smirk. I knew that she wasn't Cato's biggest fan but at least she was willing to meet him. "Aspen, you have to understand why we are hesitant to meet him."

"I get why you guys are hesitant to meet him. Need I remind you that I used to hate him too?" I asked.

"He threatened to kill you more than once and he doesn't exactly seem like the best type of guy," she said.

My anger spiked. Most of the time I was quiet, but every once in a while my anger came on full force. It was normally during a fight or time where I felt like I was being backed into a corner. "I thought you were with me on this!" I shouted at her. I saw her flinch.

"I am," Katniss whispered.

Calming down slightly, I took a deep breath and sighed as I took a small step towards her. "You know that we both went into the Games with the same intent. All we wanted to do was get in, win, and go home. By any means necessary. He knew that he was getting close to me and in his mind the only way to solve that was to threaten me," I said.

"That makes sense," Gale scoffed.

"He wasn't raised here! Gale, if you had been raised in District 2 you would have been the same way. You have no idea who he really was away from the cameras."

"I don't want to know," Gale said.

"Look, he went about everything the wrong way but he's a good guy. You both might know that if you took the time to get to know him," I snapped.

I saw the flash of guilt shoot through her eyes. Katniss took a few steps closer to me and she gave me a small hug. I didn't hug her back but it was a common occurrence these days. I was extremely detached. "Aspen, I am with you on this one," she told me.

I scoffed loudly. "So meet him," I said.

"You have to understand that we didn't see everything that you saw in the arena. We saw him sitting by the other Careers always telling them how you were his kill. We saw a man that wanted you dead," she told me with a sad smile.

I shook my head. "He was protecting me, believe it or not," I said.

"I saw all of the times that he let you go or helped you," Katniss admitted.

"So you know that he didn't really want me dead?" I asked.

Gale was leaning back on the door and I stared at him for a moment. I could tell that he wanted to speak but the question was whether or not he would say anything. "No. He just wanted you in his bed," Gale said lowly.

My heart fell. It wasn't just because of that comment. It was because - in just under two weeks - I would find myself in someone's bed. But it wouldn't be in Cato Hadley's bed. No. It would be in Seneca Crane's. I knew that I gave a strangled cry that Katniss would mistake as just me being upset at the insult. Ever since I had been back he had frequently made snide little comments about the time that Cato and I had been in the cave together. He clearly had been as upset about it as I had thought that he would be.

"Gale!" Katniss shrieked.

She walked over to him and slapped him over the back of the head. He glared at her and I watched as she challenged him to say anything else to her. Making the wise choice he backed down from her and she shook her head. She had become very frustrated with us recently.

"Was that really necessary?" she asked him.

He shook his head lightly. "Guess not," Gale muttered.

"Listen you two, you are going to stop this stupid fight. You've been having it for nearly a month and you've gotten nowhere with it. I'm going to go out hunting. Gale, you are coming with me. Aspen, I'd really like for you to come too. You haven't really been out since you've been back," she said.

My entire body went rigid. She was right. I didn't like using my weapons anymore. Everything that I did was with the traps. Sometimes I would use trees for target practice but I never used them against animals. Even just the trees for target practice was difficult. I didn't even like being in the woods anymore. Each time that I was out there it felt like I was back in the arena. I only went to help out Gale. For about two weeks the pair had sat at home with me, just offering their comfort. But one day they had decided to go hunting and I had tried to go.

We had made it to the fence but that had been as far as I had gotten. I had looked out at the grass and seen everything. I saw the Cornucopia and heard the countdown until the Bloodbath. I saw every Tribute's life leave their eyes as I killed them. I felt the knives puncturing me of every Tribute that I had fought with and I heard the dying cries of all of those who had lost their lives in my Games. I had freaked out and had to be dragged back to Ms. Everdeen to be calmed down. A few weeks later the pair had offered to take me out again but I had refused and I had been refusing since.

The only thing that I did was take care of the traps, try to enjoy some silence, and then make my way back into the District. The place that had once been my refuge was now like a prison for me. I shook my head at Katniss and took a seat at the table. It was the same table as the one in the Capitol and I rubbed my finger over the mahogany, remembering the times that I had nearly killed both Haymitch and Brutus at the table back in the Capitol.

"Cat, I appreciate you wanting me to come with you guys but I'm not really sure that I want to do that," I said.

"Aspen... Come with us," Gale said, surprising me.

"I never said why. I'm afraid. I'm afraid that the second I pick up that knife I'll be brought back to the arena," I said. They both opened their mouths to argue with me. But before they got the chance, I cut them off again. "You saw what happened the last time that we went out and I didn't even make it past the electric fence."

"You're fine by yourself out there," Gale argued.

"You know what I think when I hear you crunching a twig? A Tribute is coming to kill me. A mutt is coming to rip me apart. The fire is starting up again. I just - I can't. I don't want to be out there right now and I've had enough of sharp objects for today," I said.

A breath left my lips as I stared at the new boots on my feet. I loved hunting but I was sick of killing for one lifetime. Gale came up and dropped in front of me, giving me a soft smile. "You love hunting, Aspen. It was the one thing that would always make you happy, no matter what," he said.

I nodded softly. It was the only thing that I had spent most of my days doing. "That was before someone tried hunting me," I muttered.

"We want to see you happy again. You put on that little smile for us but I know that you aren't happy. Not really. Please, just try this out one time. If it doesn't work then we won't push you to go again."

Part of me had known that they knew that the smiles I gave them weren't real but I had hoped that my acting was better than that. But these weren't just some strangers in the Capitol. These people were my family and they knew when I was alright and when I was long past alright. Not to mention that Haymitch had told me time after time that I was an awful actor. I shook my head at Gale and let him help me to my feet.

"Alright, fine. Just this one time. If something else happens then I'm not coming back out again," I told them.

They both nodded giddily, happy that I was going out with them once more. "Let's go," Katniss said.

"I don't want to but I guess if it will get the two of you to shut the hell up already," I sighed as we walked out of the door and into the cold snow that was falling.

"You should know the one way to get us to shut up," Katniss teased.

"Buck up, Tiger," Gale said.

The pair chuckled behind me and I sighed as we walked. But I was momentarily taken aback by Gale's words. Gale hadn't called me Tiger since that day on the platform when he'd welcomed me home. It genuinely did make me feel a little bit better. It made me feel like maybe there was some chance that we could salvage our friendship. And as he turned back and grinned at me, I felt more certain than ever. I smiled as I looked around. Victor's Village was depressing this time of year. Well it was actually depressing all of the time. Those twelve nice houses and only two were filled.

The one that Haymitch lived in - which looked abandoned - and the one that the Everdeen's and I lived in - which looked almost too bright and happy to be there. The rest of the community was old and hadn't been cleaned up in years. But still the houses were gorgeous. But they were Capitol houses in and out. That only reminded me more of what it was like to be there. As we walked I looked into the Seam, the place where I had once lived. Every once in a while I would go and sit in my old home but there were only painful memories there. I missed living there but it was better to live here. At least I had food.

As we walked I saw that everyone we passed gave me sad or confused looks. I rarely walked out of Victor's Village and when I did it was usually late at night when no one else was around. That was why I always left so early to hunt. Because I didn't want anyone to see me. I didn't want people to talk to me or question what I was doing. I really didn't want them asking me if I was okay. That was the one question that had bothered me from the beginning. I would never be okay again.

Whenever people saw me they looked like they wanted to break for me. They looked like they were ready for me to fall apart at the seams. Sometimes it felt like I might. But I was stronger than they thought. Finnick Odair now knew that. I had kept my promise to him and had mailed him a letter the second that I had gotten home. It had been frantic but that was exactly how I felt as the counter began to tick until I returned to the Capitol and was forced to come into contact with the men that had ruined my life. I had maybe started the letter out wrong but I had said everything that I needed to in that one letter.

 _Finnick,_

 _I know what they make you do in the Capitol. Your job. Why didn't you tell me? I wished that I would have known. Finnick, I needed to know. It could have made things a little bit easier. A little more expected. But I was floored during that meeting._

 _President Snow is forcing me to do the same. But with only one man - Seneca Crane. I suppose that's why he's still alive. I know that's why he's still alive. To 'break me' apparently. They told me that to my face. I can't do this. How could I do something like that? This is a Gamemaker. The Head Gamemaker. He sent the wolf, the Tributes, the fire, and all of the other mutts after me during the Games. He tried to kill me and now he expects me to be in bed with him. And I can't just ignore him. He's threatened to kill someone for each time that I say no._

 _What do I do, Finnick? He can't just force himself on me. Or maybe he can. They are Capitol people after all._

 _Please help me,_  
 _Aspen._

I had sent the letter praying that I would hear back the next day but I should have known that it would take longer than that. It was the Capitol and letters went out as slow as possible unless it was something that they deemed important. It was nearly a month before I finally got my response back from Finnick. Although I had looked at the date and realized that it had been sent only about two weeks prior to when I had gotten it. Two weeks. That was about normal for what I had expected from them. I remembered opening his letter with shaking hands.

 _Aspen,_

 _Thank you for writing to me as soon as you could. Don't panic. The worst thing that you can do to yourself right now is panicking. Remember that you have time before the Victory Tour comes around. Don't panic and in the meantime let me figure something out with this whole situation._

 _Because you're right. He won't do that. Seneca Crane is a horrible man but he is not a rapist. Remember everything that he did to you in the Games. He can't look at you and not feel any guilt over it. He won't be able to live with himself over it. I will figure something out. I promise you that. I won't let the same thing happen to you that happened to me. And so many others. Not again._

 _Keep calm. Do yourself a favor and don't let President Snow see how this affects you. That's exactly what he hopes will come of this. He wants for this to happen. He wants to see how this can affect you. The best way to do that is by pretending that you've gotten over it and it hasn't even phased you._

 _I'm sorry that this happened to you. I never wanted this. I'm here when you need me._

 _Finnick._

My heart had lifted when he had sent me that letter but it had been right around the time that the nightmares had taken over full-force. Almost two months had passed since then and I was starting to have the night terrors regularly. They were some of the worst things that I had ever have happen to me. They were even worse than the normal nightmares that I had. I had managed to write back to Finnick quickly, but I knew that it would be weeks before I heard from him.

 _Finnick,_

 _I wish you were here. That's something that I never thought that I would say. I had to tell everyone that you weren't the pompous ass that we always thought that you were. Sorry. But it's true. Everyone likes you now. I told them that you were helping me get Sponsors through the Games. But it's not just because I miss you, although I do. I need someone to talk to._

 _I have Katniss and Gale but I can't speak to them about this. He'll kill them if I mention even a word. But they know something is on my mind. I can tell that they try and catch a glimpse of me when they think I'm not looking. And I could never admit this to Prim anyways. It would destroy her to think that something like this is happening to me. Sometimes I think about telling Haymitch. But even then I'm afraid that someone will know. I can't risk anyone knowing. I can't have anyone else dead because of me._

 _What is the first time like? Don't you dare laugh._

 _Aspen._

In all honesty I really had thought that he would laugh. He probably had laughed. I had asked him more because I was curious but I also wanted some reassurance that it wouldn't be as bad as I thought that it would be. I knew that it would be bad with Seneca Crane, but I had hope that I could at least try and forget about it. He had given me the answer that I had asked for but it hadn't been the one that I had wanted.

 _Aspen,_

 _I don't want to lie to you. You would probably know that I was lying to you anyways. In a word? Horrible. It's everything that you would hope that it isn't. But that's only when it's with the wrong person, keep that in mind. It can be a wonderful thing. Only when you're ready and it's with the right person. Don't worry. I didn't laugh. Because no one laughed at me when I asked._

 _But we won't talk about that right now. Only when the time comes. Try and forget about it. It could be much worse, Aspen, I promise you that. And I am still working to protect you._

 _In other news, I wanted to ask you something. Are you ready for the Victory Tour? You only have a few months left before it starts._

 _Finnick._

My mind had raced after he had sent me that letter. I hadn't really been able to tell whether or not he had been telling me to have my first time with Cato. I knew for a fact that I would rather be with him for my first time over Seneca Crane, but I would rather be with him over anyone else. But that still didn't mean that I was ready yet. I had other things on my mind, like the fact that my family was in danger because I didn't know how to do the right thing. And as for the Victory Tour, years could pass, even decades. But there was no way that I would ever be ready to meet the families of the kids that I had killed.

For a long time after I had gotten that letter I hadn't known what to say. It had sat on my desk in my room and I stared at it day after day. One day Katniss had come in and seen it. For nearly a week after that I had had to convince her that I was just writing out my feelings on paper and there was nothing going on besides the fact that I was tired and stressed out. When I had finally answered Finnick, it hadn't been much of an answer.

 _Finnick,_

 _No. But I never will be._

 _Aspen._

And it was the honest truth. I would never be ready to face these people. I would never be ready to own up to everything that I had done, even with my justification. That letter had been sent out about a month ago and I hadn't heard back from Finnick yet. He probably either hadn't gotten it, had no idea what to say, or was just waiting to see me during the Victory Tour. My best guess was on the last option. I was desperately looking forward to seeing him. He was the one person that I knew would understand what I was going through.

Finnick hadn't been the only person that I had talked to over the past few months either. I had exchanged a few letters back and forth with Cato too. But they had been barely anything. I was confident that the Capitol wanted to keep our communication with each other to the absolute minimum. Still though I kept all of his letters pinned to my wall. They were things that reminded me that I wasn't alone in this. The first letter that we had exchanged had come a few weeks after I had gotten back home. Actually it had been closer to a month. But I was still having a hard time adjusting.

 _Aspen,_

 _Remember me? Just kidding. It's only been a few days but I wish that you were here. We're still getting through all of the celebrations and I can barely get a second away from the cameras. Judging by what I've been seeing from District 12 it looks like things are the same way there. I saw your District getting all of the food. I'm really happy to see that. They deserve it. They must be happy to have you back. I wish that you could come. Just for a day. They keep reminding me of the Games here. I wish they didn't. You're the only reminder that I want._

 _These days I can hear the kids in the Academy practicing all night long. I used to be one of them. Victor's Village is pressed right up against the Academy. It serves to remind the kids of what lay within their grasp, but I'm pretty sure that it is also to torture the Victors. It works. I know that I'm not the only one that has a hard time sleeping. Some of the younger Victors also have problems. The older ones have just gotten used to it._

 _I want to warn the kids not to train. I want to tell them that they have no idea what the arena really is like. They don't know just how awful it is. It's not what they tell us that it is. Aiden still practices. He's good. He always was. I'm afraid that he will go into the Games._

 _Everyone says hello. How are you adjusting?_

 _Cato._

His letter had made me smile for the first time in the weeks that I had been back home. After the first day when I had gotten to see Katniss, Gale, and Prim again I really hadn't been in much of a good mood. It had quickly died once I realized just how strange it was to be a Victor. It was nothing like I had been anticipating. His letter had interested me. I had no idea that the Academy really was right up against Victor's Village but it didn't surprise me. He hadn't told me that when we'd been talking about District 2.

It showed them that success was right within their grasp. But I had known that Aiden practicing was killing him. He didn't want to see his little brother go through the same hell that he had gone through. It made me happy that his family cared enough to think about me. It made me feel like somewhere out there people really did care about me. And not the fake caring that the people of the Capitol did, people that really actually cared for your well being. My response to his first letter had been almost immediate. I wanted it to get to him as soon as possible so I would have someone to talk to that I could vent to. Someone that wouldn't worry too much.

 _Cato,_

 _It would be very hard to forget you, no matter how much I try. Just kidding. Sort of. I've been better. At first it was good to be back home. The District has food and people seem to like me a lot more. But we've kind of fallen back into the same pattern from before I went to the Games. It seems like I'm the only one that's still hung up on them. Of course, I'm the one that lived through them. Not them. I don't sleep through the nights. Do you? I wasn't really expecting to but it makes me tired all the time._

 _So I just go out and walk around. Sometimes in the woods. Sometimes just around the District. Anything to try and get my mind off of the Games. I can tell that Katniss and Gale pick up on it but they don't say anything. I've asked them not to. I haven't been hunting since I've been back. Not really. Just trapping and whatnot. I miss it but I can't bring myself to pick up a weapon. Not when I know what happened the last time that I held one. Maybe I just need you to yell at me._

 _Aiden will be fine. Let him be a typical District 2 kid right now. He's still too young to even go into the Games. He doesn't see what a nightmare they really are yet. When he gets older he'll see that these Games are a bad thing. Tell your family that I say hello back._

 _And happy late birthday, by the way._

 _Aspen._

It had been something that I'd almost forgotten. I had meant to tell him happy birthday before I had left District 2 but I had forgotten. I'd been too excited to get back home. He had turned nineteen only three days after we had left each other's company. It was almost three months before I got my next response. Every day I thought about Cato but after a while I forgot about the letters. Or I figured that he had forgotten. I had never been so happy as when I finally got my response from him.

 _Thank you, Aspen._

 _These letters are taking forever to get to each other. I guarantee that the Capitol has something to do with it. Not wanting us to talk to each other. That's what my family has guessed at. Part of the punishment for making them look stupid at the end of the Games. Well done. That's what I think about whenever I need to smile. Or you and your scowling. What I wouldn't give to see you scowl again._

 _I've only managed to sleep through a few nights. Mostly I can't though. I just dream about the arena all night long. The one good thing is that I can see you in them._

 _The Victory Tour is coming up soon. Are you ready?_

 _Cato._

Despite how annoying he was, it made me smile. He had made a number of comments about how annoying it was that I always scowled. But I couldn't help it. There weren't many things that I had to smile about these days. Although it had made me smile when he had said that his dreams were worth it, because at least he saw me. I hated that he wasn't in my dreams. It was always the mutts or Rue. His question was the same as Finnick's. Unsurprisingly he had gotten the same answer.

 _Cato,_

 _No. I can't think of anything that makes the Victory Tour okay. The only good thing is that I get to see you again. I don't want to face these people's families. We destroyed most of them and now they have to pretend that they are thankful for us. I can only imagine how angry I would be if I was the family of a deceased Tribute._

 _Are you ready?_

 _Aspen._

That had been the last time that I had said or heard anything from him. I assumed that the Capitol had just cut off the last letter that he had tried to send me and I wasn't surprised. They didn't want us talking to each other. Not without their consent. If nothing else I would be able to see him tonight. I would see what six months had done to him.

Six months hadn't really done that much for me. My figure had curved out slightly and I had lost some muscle mass from my lack of training. But the abundant food helped me retain the muscle despite my limited activities. My daily run from my house to wherever I felt like running kept me lean. My eyes were harder now. Seldom was there any joy in them. They had constant bruises under them but a little bit of makeup easily fixed it and kept my friends from asking. My hair had grown since I had last seen Cato. It now hit the lower middle of my back and still fell in the choppy sections that Flavius had put them in. In many ways I hadn't changed. But in other ways I looked like I had aged an entire lifetime.

As we walked through the woods, I looked for any differences. There weren't any. Everything looked the same as it had when I had last been to our hunting spot, the day that Prim had been Reaped and I had taken her place. That day had only happened a little under seven months ago but it felt like forever. It didn't even feel like me that had been out here, joking around and bickering with Katniss and Gale. The pair stopped and I looked around realizing where we were. It was where we hid our weapons. I hadn't seen my real knife in months. Maybe they had lost it, or gotten rid of it. Maybe I wouldn't have to hunt.

Everything that I used was brand new. I hadn't thrown a knife at anything other than a tree. My bow and arrow had been unseen since I'd been back. I stuck only to where we laid the traps these days. I watched as Katniss ducked down and grabbed her bow and arrows. Immediately I thought back to the people that I had hurt and killed with the one that I had used in the Games. Gale took his knife and Katniss came up with mine. She walked over to me and held it out to me.

"Here you go. We've kept it sharpened and clean," Katniss said.

"Thanks."

"I knew that you would appreciate it when you got it back. Be careful, no one has held it in a long time. It will probably be pretty cold," she tried to warn me.

"I know," I said, grabbing it anyways.

The knife was insanely cold but I held a tight grip on it. The faces of every Tribute that I had killed had come in contact with flashed through my mind and I began to sway back and forth. But before I could drop the knife and fall, Gale caught me around the waist and helped me straighten up.

"Hey, are you alright?" Gale asked.

"I'm fine."

"Here, put it down. You don't have to do this just for us. We just thought it would be a good way to spend the day," he said, but my grip on the knife only tightened as the faces came closer. "Aspen, you don't have to."

I shook my head at him and pointed to a turkey that had come out in front of us. I stood in front of the turkey and raised my knife, watching as it stood completely still. My hand shook slightly but I forced myself to keep still as I prepared to throw the knife. Reminding myself one more time that it was only an animal and not a person, I let a breath out and threw at the turkey. But right as I threw the knife, it sailed into the eye of one of the boys in the Games. I let out a small shriek and stepped back as I stared at his body. What the hell was happening to me? How did he get here? He was dead.

One by one the faces of the Tributes that I had killed came to obtain a body and come to a stop in front of me. The boy from District 6 was first, and though I hadn't killed him he had died because of me. He had a bloody torso as he stared at me. The next to pop up was the girl from District 9. Her throat was torn and I felt a lump rise in my own throat. The District 7 male was next, followed by District 8 female, Jason, and the boy from District 9. They were all staring blankly at me.

Glimmer and Rue were next and I stared at them with tears building in my eyes. How could this have happened to them? Rue was the worst. She looked heartbroken. Ethan and Marvel popped up and I looked away from the pair but they quickly disappeared. Clove stared me down too and I gulped at her, Finch following with a blank stare. Thresh was next and he stared at me, behind him Coral with a vicious smile, and Peeta was last, looking like I had been the one to kill him.

All of the Tributes that I had either had a hand in killing, had directly killed, or felt guilty for surrounded me and my hand tightened on my knife, despite the fact that I knew that I wouldn't throw it. They all walked towards me with a bright white light filling their eyes.

"This was your fault," they all began to chant in unison. "You killed us. Why did you hate us, Aspen? What did we do to you? Didn't we deserve to live too? We had families to go back to too. Ones that were still alive."

Tears built up in my eyes as Rue stepped forward and stood directly in front of me. She was shorter than me but it felt like she was towering over me as my legs threatened to give out. "You should be here, not me," she said.

"I know," I said weakly.

"I had my mother and father to go back to. And brothers and sisters. Who did you have? No one. Friends that you barely speak with anymore. A woman who isn't your mother and a little girl who feels like she broke you. No mother and father. No. They're here. With us," Rue hissed at me.

She stepped back and I tried to back away, but it felt like I was glued to my spot. Peeta came up to me next. He had a gaping hole through his back and stomach. I let out a soft cry. It hadn't been that bad? Had it? He stood chest to chest with me and I felt his blood smear onto my body. Just as it had the day that he had died?

"Why didn't you warn me that she was behind me? I could have lived, just like you would have wanted me to. Or was that a lie too? Did you really not care what happened to me? Did you want me to die, did you want Cato to do it? Just so that you didn't have to do it yourself. Do you feel better now?" he asked with a blank face.

My entire body was shaking and I started to sink to my knees as grief overtook me. "I didn't know that she was behind you. I'm sorry, I wanted you to live," I told Peeta softly. "I didn't mean for you to die, I was willing to kill myself for you. That's what I wanted to do!" The group of Tributes began to approach me, closing in on me on all sides and my breath began to quicken as I sank to my knees. "No! I'm sorry! I'm so sorry, I only did it so that I could live. I never meant to hurt any of you. I didn't want you to die. I wanted you to live. I would have killed myself to save you! Please, I'm sorry!"

She leaned down and grabbed my shoulders. "Aspen, stop!" she yelled.

I cried out, closing my eyes. Tears were rolling down my face as she continued to shake me and I prayed that she would stop teasing me a just kill me. "Come on, you're fine! It's us, we aren't in the arena!" Gale screamed at me.

I opened my eyes again. I stared at him and frantically looked around. I was laying in his arms, huddled into him and Katniss was leaned over me, looking extremely concerned. "Gale," I whispered.

"It's me."

"Katniss," I sobbed.

"You're okay," she promised.

My sobs turned from fear-ridden to hysterical sobs as I leaned into Gale. "Hey, it's all right. We aren't in the arena. You're home, you're in District 12. The Games are over. I've got you. You're safe," he whispered into my hair.

Katniss pulled me into her. I wanted nothing more than to leave and go back to bed but I knew that they would have something to tell me before I got to go back home. "I'm so sorry, Aspen," she sobbed as she pulled me into a bone crushing hug.

"It's okay," I muttered.

"I should have never tried to make you go hunting today. I'm so sorry. I didn't know that something like this would happen. Come on, we're going to go back home. I'll make you some tea if you'd like?" Katniss asked.

"Please," I said, glad that she wasn't trying to continue pushing at me to go get Haymitch and seek help from him.

Without saying another word, I watched as Gale picked up the knife and tucked it back into its spot. We quickly made our way out of the woods and I watched the looks of people as we walked through the streets. Everyone looked so happy, but they didn't realize that there was someone here who was anything but happy. The only thing that would make me happy was seeing Cato later today. He would know what to say about this.

"Alright, I'm gonna head back home," Gale said as we walked past the Seam.

I grabbed onto his shirt. "Wait," I said desperately.

He merely laughed and pulled me off of him. "Calm down, I'll be back. I'm only going so that I can wash off and get ready to meet your stupid boyfriend," Gale said.

"Thank you, Gale," I said happily.

"You're welcome. I'll see you two later."

We both waved him off. Before he could get too far away from us, I called out to him. "Hey, you're coming to the train station after he looks around right?" I asked Gale, who raised an eyebrow at me. "I can't see him until he makes his way over to the house tonight. And then he's only here for the night before we have to leave for the Victory Tour. I want you to be there. I want the both of you to be there."

"We will, Aspen."

"I'll need someone to see me off before I go into that shit storm," I said.

Katniss laughed lightly and nodded at me, standing in between Gale and me. "Of course we'll be there," Katniss said.

"Thank you," I said softly.

Gale stayed quiet though and I turned back to him to see that he was staring at the ground with a hard scowl. I sighed and walked over to Gale, shaking at the cold. I used to love the snow but recently I had grown a little fond of the warmer weather at the Capitol. It was the one thing about that place that I really missed.

"Hey, it's only a few weeks. I'll be back before the snow melts," I said. He nodded slowly. "Maybe we can go out and pelt snowballs at each other like we used to."

Gale snorted at me. "It's been a long time since we did that," Gale said.

"Come on, you guys remember that right? The time that we convinced Prim that unless she filled Katniss's bed with snow she would get stuck in the snow when she came back from school," I said with a small laugh.

Both Gale and Katniss smiled at the sight of me with a smile on my face. It had been a truly happy time though. We had all been joking around and Gale and I had told Prim to fill up Katniss's bed with snow. It was the first of many pranks that we had played on her. She had always hated us for doing it. The whole thing really had made no sense but it was funny and Prim still loved to bring it up. Gale laughed loudly and I laughed when she slapped him.

"Thanks for that!" Katniss barked.

"It was funny," I said.

"Prim was playing stupid little jokes on me for weeks after that. And it took me forever to get all of the dirt off of my sheets that came with that snow! I had to sleep without sheets," she complained softly.

Gale rubbed the back of his head and laughed as he shoved Katniss. "Those were good times. Alright you two, get going," he said. He shoved us lightly towards Victor's Village. "There isn't long before the train gets here and we have to meet him in the house. It's what, an hour or so?"

"Something like that," I said.

"Then get going. I'm sure you'll have to wake up Haymitch. I'll meet you girls at the platform later. See you Catnip, Tiger," he said as he gave us both short hugs, ruffling our hair.

I shoved Gale away from us and rolled my eyes. He made his way away from us quickly and I walked with Katniss into Victor's Village. "What a pain in the ass," I growled.

"At least he's smiling. At least you both are," Katniss said.

"Feels funny. He's right though. Haymitch is probably in an alcohol induced haze. I need to go wake him up and get him to get ready," I told her.

"Need help?" Katniss asked.

"I'm good. Go and head back. I'll take care of him. I'll see you back at the house," I told her, before she got a chance to argue that she should go with me.

She always liked to be there with me. I had a feeling that she thought that Haymitch and I were going to kill each other one day. She might have been right. Katniss and Gale both now knew Haymitch, as did Prim and Ms. Everdeen. Ms. Everdeen sympathized with the older man but I knew that she preferred to keep him away from Prim. On the other hand, Prim was a little fond of the man. He bothered her at times but she mostly liked to talk with him. The only time that no one had really liked him was the one time that he had gone through withdrawals.

Gale thought that he was a worthless drunk but he had been much nicer to the man since I had yelled at him for talking about Haymitch the way that he did. Gale clearly had realized that I was in the same state that Haymitch was in and he had never said anything poor about the man since then. He knew that I owed Haymitch everything. And some part of me liked him anyways. Katniss loved Haymitch for everything that he had done for me but couldn't stand to be in his house.

As I pushed open his door I didn't blame her. The house was covered in paper and bottles and everywhere that I stepped was full of some type of trash. You could tell that the Capitol had designed the place but it had a very Haymitch sense of style. It was extremely messy and smelled like liquor. As I walked through the hall I saw that Haymitch was passed out at his dining table with a glass at his side. I rolled my eyes as I stomped up to him.

"Why did I not see that coming? Figures I'd be the one that has to play adult here," I sneered as I tried to poke him awake. "Haymitch! Haymitch."

When I realized that it wasn't going to work, I grabbed his glass and stared at it for a moment. It was half-empty. He had clearly fallen asleep while drinking it. Before I could convince myself that it was a rude thing to do, I threw it onto the man and stepped back as he shot up.

"Haymitch. Wake up. It's tour day. Haymitch," I said as he grumbled drunkenly.

He slowly peeled his eyes opened and I rolled my eyes as I went to find his boots. We had been out in the woods longer than I had thought that we were. "Well there were so many nicer ways that you could have done that. Like maybe asking me if I wanted that drink!" he yelled.

"You don't need another drink. You need to get up. Cameras will be here soon," I said.

"Those bottles are expensive and hard to find."

"You have fifty other ones. You'll live."

"What are you doing?" Haymitch asked as I walked over to his shoes, grabbing them and flinging them at his face.

Haymitch just barely managed to bat them away from my face and I glared at him darkly. "Cry me a river," I snapped. I moved the glass away from where he could get it. "I already told you. Cameras are gonna be here in an hour. If you wanna be babied you should've asked me to bring along Katniss."

He tried to grab the glass again. I'd become very good at expecting where he was going to try and move. It all came from that day on the train all those months ago. Haymitch tried to stand from the table and I shoved him back down, the two of us locked in a dangerous glaring contest.

"I just sent her back to the house though, so you're stuck with me," I snarled lightly as I turned back and moved away from him.

I watched out of the corner of my eyes as he pulled himself off of the table, hardly managing to walk. Maybe he would be able to clean up his act by the time that the cameras got here. "And I thought you were a hard-ass before the Games. I can only imagine how much Cato will be glad to see that his woman is more like him now," he told me, splashing some water on his face.

I had to resist the urge to punch him in the throat as he sat back down. "Get ready," I snapped.

"And I was going to ask you to wake me without giving me the moment. You are a strangely dislayered person," he said, as I stomped back up to him.

Grabbing him by the arm, I yanked him up and out of the chair, slightly surprised by how much he weighed. I had thought that he would weigh less than that. "Get the hell up, Haymitch," I ordered him.

I was hoping that he would take some of the strain of his weight off of me. Luckily he did and he stood, staring me down with a curious smirk. "How much time did you say we have?" he asked.

I let out another groan. "We only have about an hour before the cameras show up here and I need you somewhat put together. Please. Just get up and pretend like you're somewhat sober," I begged.

His face softened at my pathetic begging but he quickly sobered up and gave me a nasty smirk. I rolled my eyes as I realized that he wasn't going to take it easy on me, no matter what day today was. "You do realize that when you and Cato are going to be reunited you'll be on camera," he said.

"Of course. I've gotten the direction packages," I said.

"That means that you might actually have to try and be charming again. I know how hard that was for you the first time around."

I scoffed loudly. I hadn't been that bad. People had liked me. More than I preferred though. "I'll think about it when the cameras are here," I said.

"You have about an hour or so to make yourself feel a little better. You could always..." he trailed off and I gagged slightly.

Even though I really hadn't ever been physical, with another person or with myself, I knew exactly what it was that Haymitch was getting at. He waggled his eyebrows at me and I scoffed as I slapped him on the arm. He was just doing it to try and get me to ignore him.

"Shut up, you're disgusting," I sneered at him as I walked over to the door. "Take a bath, Haymitch."

He stood and walked out to the hallway so that I could see him out of the corner of my eyes. "I just did, sweetheart," he told me as he motioned down to himself.

Despite how much he annoyed me I laughed lightly before stepping out of his house and closing the door behind me, hoping that he actually would get ready for the day. As much as I loved to say that Haymitch was next to useless, he had really helped me over these past months. As I walked down the street to my house, I sighed at the sight of the others. Normally I would have said that Victor's Village looked so out of place in District 12 but it actually fit in.

The community hadn't had any maintenance done since it had been built seventy-five years ago. Leaves were everywhere and the paint was peeling off of the unoccupied houses. Not to mention the fountain that sat in the center of the road hadn't worked for as long as I could remember. In fact, I was pretty sure that it had never worked. The community itself was extremely depressing and lifeless. It really actually looked perfect in District 12. It was nothing compared to the way that the District 2 Victor's Village. They actually took pride in their appearance. We didn't care.

Walking up the steps to my house, I pushed the door open and looked around. Normally Prim was in the foyer but she was nowhere to be found. Even her stupid cat was absent. Buttercup wasn't back yet. Why not? As I walked through the house I noticed that it was almost completely empty. The television was off, none of the lights were on, and the kitchen smelled like nothing. I began to panic as I approached the back of the house. I had left them all here. Where were they? Deciding that I was acting irrationally, I cleared my throat and called out.

"Hey, Mom! Prim, Katniss! I'm home, guys. I'm gonna get ready for the Prep Team to see me so that they can get done fast. If Haymitch gets his lazy ass over here tell him that I'll be ready in -" I started before Ms. Everdeen popped out from the door to her room.

My breathing slowed slightly as I saw her with a large smile and I smiled back at her. She looked oddly happy today. Maybe she was getting ready for the cameras. Prim was besides her and the younger girl gave me strange look. Her smile was strained. I cocked my head at the two women, wondering what it was that they were giving me the looks for. I normally disappeared for long spans of time so it wasn't my random leaving this time.

"Did you have a good walk dear?" Ms. Everdeen asked me.

She knew that I was out hunting with Gale and Katniss earlier. "Walk? I was just out with -" I started to clarify before she cut me off again.

"Honey, we have visitors," she said.

My face went white. Who was here that was so important that Ms. Everdeen wouldn't say anything about me hunting? They were no one from District 12 so that only meant one thing. They were from the Capitol. And there was only one person that would visit me from the Capitol that would make everyone so tense. Katniss walked out of the kitchen with a tray in her hands, giving me a panicky look but I managed to keep calm. I watched as a small sea of white followed her out of the kitchen and my heart dropped into my stomach. Peacekeepers. That was a bad sign.

One of the Peacekeepers walked forward to me with a drink in his hand. It was the drink that Katniss was carrying. She looked like she was about to drop everything and shoot the Peacekeeper through the heart for being here. The Peacekeeper slipped his helmet off and I got a good look at his face. He was probably in his early thirties, with dark brown hair and piercing green eyes. He looked like he was about ready to tear my heart out of my chest. That was probably exactly what he was thinking about doing.

"Hello, Miss Antaeus." I blanched. I knew who this man was. He was the man that I had kicked on the hovercraft after the woman had given me the tracker. He had said that he would enjoy watching me die. He was probably having more fun watching me right now though. "It surely has been a long time since I have seen you. I'm glad to see you are doing well. Come this way, please, you have a guest who has been patiently waiting."

"Okay," I said numbly.

As we walked, I felt the hatred seep off of the man. I had no idea why he was so angry with me. I had only kicked him and it had been an accident. But that was just the way that the Peacekeepers were. They usually hated everyone. There were very few that I had ever met that had even been the least bit polite to a District resident. Especially not one from District 12. We stopped in front of the door to the office and I walked into the room.

Standing behind the desk that I hardly ever found myself at was none other than President Snow. My heart dropped. He had a small smirk on his face as he watched the opaque video screen in front of him. I walked up to the desk with a gulp and took my spot behind the chairs. The screen was playing the video of the last day of my Games. Cato and I were holding the daggers to ourselves and I looked away for a moment. I looked like I was only seconds from death, which I had been. President Snow smiled as he watched the video and took a drink of his red wine. Or at least that was what I hoped it was.

"Such bravery. Such spirit. Such... content," he drawled.

He turned the screen off and took a seat. I continued to stand behind the chairs. He smirked, probably well aware that he was making me nervous. "President Snow. What an honor to have you visiting in my home," I said.

He gave me a sweet smile. "I've never been to District 12," President Snow said, glancing around.

"I've never heard of you coming to visit a Victor. Perhaps you wanted to make sure that I was adjusting to my new life here?" I asked him.

My voice had a small sneer in it. So that probably was not my best move. Instead of being angry with me he merely laughed and handed me a wine glass. I stared at it for a moment and he smirked at me again. Damn it. I wanted to take the letter opener off of the desk and wipe that look off of his face.

"I assure you that it isn't poisoned. I would never stoop to something so low," he said. I scoffed lightly. _What about the Games_? "I'm sure that you've settled in just fine. Perhaps just missing your fellow Victor?"

I didn't miss the way that he sneered Victor. "Very much so," I said.

"My dear, I think we can make this so much simpler if we agree not to lie to each other. What do you think?" he asked.

I took a sip of the wine, still not completely trusting him. It was bitter and strong but it wasn't bad. I did prefer Haymitch's whiskey though. "You're right, I do miss Cato. He was a big help in the Games. I've been trying to write to him but those letters don't seem to ever go through that well. Too bad, perhaps not all of your systems are as flawless as you think they are," I said with a sudden bout of bravery.

"I assure you that the mail system works just fine. We only need to manage your letters to your fellow Victor. Ensure that you aren't oversharing," President Snow said.

As in, don't talk about the thing with Seneca Crane. "As for the not lying to each other. Yes, I think that would save time," I said.

He smiled at me and I gulped when I saw that the wine had dyed his teeth a bright red. "Brave inside and outside of the arena. Sit down, please," he said. I nodded, taking a seat in front of him. "I have a problem, Miss Antaeus. A problem that began the moment you held out those two daggers in the arena. If my previous Head Gamemaker, Seneca Crane had any brains at all... He would've blown you to bits then and there. But here you are and you know where he almost was."

"Of course," I snarled.

"He eagerly awaits your arrival," President Snow said.

I refused to let him see my reaction. "Why didn't you just let me die when I got up to the Tribute Recovery Center then? I was only an inch from death. It would have been easy to say that it was too late to save me," I said. His eyes were bright with amusement as I spoke. "Maybe it was because that was too easy. You would have had riots on the streets if you had killed me. People fell in love with the fact that Cato and I had fallen in love." He nodded. "So I guess I do know why I'm still here. And I know that my living is the only thing that is currently keeping him alive. Or that seems to be what you made me think during our last meeting."

His smile went from small and light to one of pure, raging excitement. He looked like he might burst into a million pieces. Please? "You are just too much fun to have dead, Miss Antaeus," President Snow said.

"Thank you," I gritted.

"You are right. He is just dying to see his precious little Tribute again," he said. I really had to fight to not let any emotion cross on my face. "After that fiasco there was nothing left to do but to let you play out your little scenario. And you were very good. A hold-down crazed besodded school girl routine. Impressive. Truly. You convince the people in the Capitol. Unfortunately not everyone in the Districts fell for it. I mean, you can't know this, but several of them. People viewed your little trick with the daggers as an act of defiance. Not as an act of love."

"That's what it was," I said.

"I'm sure. If a girl from District 12 can defy the Capitol and walk away unharmed, what is to prevent them from doing the same? What is to prevent say... an uprising? That can lead to revolution. And then in a fraction of time the whole system collapses," he said.

"There have been uprisings?" I asked, the possibility both elating and terrifying me.

"Not yet. But they'll follow if the course of things doesn't change. And uprisings have been known to lead to revolution." President Snow rubbed a spot over his left eyebrow, the very spot where I myself got headaches. "Do you have any idea what that would mean? How many people would die? What conditions those left would have to face? Whatever problems anyone may have with the Capitol, believe me when I say that if it released its grip on the Districts for even a short time, the entire system would collapse," he continued.

With a nasty smirk on my face I gave the President my best sorry look. "You have no idea how much it means to me that you liked my acting. Haymitch always told me that it was terrible," I told him. I saw the brief fury flash through his eyes. I had a fucking death wish. "It must be an extremely fragile system if it can be brought down by just two knives in the hands of kids."

It made the situation no better. There was a knock on the door and a Peacekeeper opened it. "Her mother wants to know if you want tea," he said.

"I would. I would like tea," President Snow said. The door opened wider, and there stood Ms. Everdeen, holding a tray with a china tea set she brought to the Seam when she married. "Set it here, please."

President Snow placed his book on the corner of the desk and patted the center. Ms. Everdeen set the tray on the desk. It held a china teapot and cups, cream and sugar, and a plate of cookies. They were beautifully iced with softly colored flowers. The frosting work could only be from the Mellark's bakery. My stomach churned as I started at it. I knew that President Snow was watching me to gauge my reaction.

"What a welcome sight. You know, it's funny how often people forget that presidents need to eat, too," President Snow said charmingly. Well, it seemed to relax Ms. Everdeen a bit, anyway.

"Can I get you anything else? I can cook something more substantial if you're hungry," she offered.

"No, this could not be more perfect. Thank you," he said, clearly dismissing her.

Ms. Everdeen nodded, shot me a glance, and went. I saw that Katniss and Prim were both out in the hallway and glancing in. They wanted to see what was happening. President Snow poured tea for both of us and filled his with cream and sugar, then took a long time stirring. I started to swallow the tea, even though it was burning m throat. I senses that he had had his say and was waiting for me to respond.

"I didn't mean to start any rebellions," I said.

"I know." President Snow smiled at me and the sight raised the hairs on my arms and the back of my neck. "There are very few people who dare talk to me in the way you do, Miss Antaeus. Actually, there in no one who dares speak to me that way. Perhaps that is why I keep you around. I need someone to break. My blood went ice cold. I wasn't a fan of how he had said that. "As for the system. Yes it is indeed. But not in the way you imagined it," he said.

Briefly I glanced around the room and saw that there was actually a small picture of Cato and I at the party before the Games. We were dancing together and the two of us were smiling at each other. When had he gotten that picture? How long had that picture been in here that I hadn't even noticed? When was it taken? I was pissed off at him throughout the entire dance. But it still made me smile slightly. We looked so happy. If only we had known what our happiness would mean. Perhaps things would have gone differently.

"Well then how should I imagine it?" I asked, turning back to him.

The normal smirk that graced his features was gone and replaced by a nasty frown. My nerves were building. This conversation had gone downhill fast. "You should imagine thousands upon thousands of your people dead. This town of yours reduced to ashes. Imagine it gone," he said. He wasn't kidding. He would kill everyone that I knew. He was talking about the murder of thousands of people. And he wouldn't even bat an eyelash. "A radioactive buried under dirt as if it never existed, like District 13. You fought very hard in the Games, Miss Antaeus. But they were games. Would you like to be in a real war?"

"No," I immediately answered.

For once I wasn't making things worse. I was telling the truth and there was nothing more there. All I wanted was for my friends to be safe and to be with Cato. All I wanted was for us to be happy and to pretend that the Games were nothing more than a nightmare. But that wouldn't happen. His angry stare went back to a normal face and he nodded at me.

"Good. And neither would I," he said. I nodded even though I doubted that. A war had been on the horizon for years but no one was brave enough to start one. "Tell me. At what point did you realize the depth of your hatred towards the boy that you claim to love? When did you realize that the only reason you fell in love with him was because you knew that there was no way that you had to ability to make it home on your own? That the only way for him to not kill you was to make him fall in love with you?"

My brain felt like it had stopped working. I didn't hate him and that wasn't what I had done. I had little faith that I would have ever been able to win in a fight against him, but I loved him. "I don't hate him. Why would you even think that? We both tried to kill each other at some point, that's true. But we saved each other too. I could have let that knife hit him. He could have let the Careers kill me. We both stood, armed, in front of each other more than once. I could have fought him at any point, even when he wasn't looking. I could have easily killed him. I do not hate Cato, I love him," I argued.

"Don't lie," President Snow said. "You promised. I know that you aren't quite sure how you feel."

"I know how I feel. I know that I love him," I said.

He made me feel like no one else ever had. It was love that I felt for him. Right? "You are the girl who has never known love. Not from a mother or father or even a sibling. How do you know that this is love?" President Snow asked me.

A spike of anger shot through me. Standing from my chair I walked to the edge of the desk where President Snow sat and placed my hands in front of him. "Why do you constantly play these games? There are faster ways to get this over with than to make me look like a fool. Why don't you just kill me now? You want to, I know that. If you kill me you get rid of all of your problems. Why not just end it now?" I asked.

He smiled at me and reclined slightly in the chair so that he was slightly back. "This is the temper that got you in so much trouble in the first place. Had you been quiet in the first place you may have never drawn Mr. Hadley's attention to you. This might never had happened. He would be my Victor and you would be where you belong. A box, six feet under," he snarled. I stared at him angrily but sat back down. "You see, that's why we don't take twenty-four kids out and shoot them every year. Things are so much more fun this way. I don't want to kill you. I want us to be friends. I can't kill you. There would be riots."

"Arrange an accident," I said.

"Who would buy it? Not you if you were watching. No. Friends we must be," he said.

For a moment we stayed locked together in a staring contest but I finally nodded at him. "I'm surprised that you're they type to want a friend. But I suppose that doesn't matter," I added softly, when I saw the look that the President was giving me. He was clearly about done with this conversation.

"How's the handsome cousin?" President Snow asked.

"I don't know... I don't..." I trailed off. Talking about the two people that meant the most to me in the world was overwhelming me.

"Speak, Miss Antaeus. Him I can kill off easily if we don't come to a happy resolution. You aren't doing him any favors by disappearing into the woods with him each Sunday."

How did he know? People could tell him that Gale and I spent our Sunday's hunting. Katniss too, but she clearly didn't pose a threat to him right now. She was just a girl that was my friend. Mostly family. Gale was the one that posed the threat here. Didn't we show up at the end of each Sunday loaded down with game? Hadn't we for years? Even before Katniss joined our midst. It was why he had always been just a touch closer to me. The real question was what he thought went on in the woods beyond District 12. Surely they hadn't been tracking us in there. Or had they? Could we have been followed?

That seemed impossible. At least by a person. Cameras? That never crossed my mind until this moment. The woods had always been our place of safety, our place beyond the reach of the Capitol, where we were free to say what we feel and to be who we were. At least before the Games. If we had been watched since, what had they seen? Two people hunting, saying treasonous things against the Capitol, yes. But not two people in love, which seemed to be President Snow's implication. We were safe on that charge.

Unless... unless... He couldn't know about it. But if we were watched, they might have known. He might know. It only happened once and it was fast and unexpected. But it had happened.

After I got home from the Games, it was several weeks before I saw Gale alone. First there were the obligatory celebrations. A banquet for the Victors that only the most high-ranking people were invited to. I had seen Cato briefly but we'd barely managed to exchange ten words and barely a kiss. A holiday for the whole District with free food and entertainers brought in from the Capitol. Parcel Day, the first of twelve, in which food packages were delivered to every person in the District.

That was my favorite. To see all those hungry kids in the Seam running around, waving cans of applesauce, tins of meat, and even candy. Back home, too big to carry, would be bags of grain and cans of oil. To know that once a month for a year they would all receive another parcel. That was one of the few times I actually felt good about winning the Games. It was the first time in a long time that I'd smiled.

Between the ceremonies and events and the reporters documenting my every move as I presided and thanked the audience, I had no privacy at all. After a few weeks things finally died down. The camera crews and reporters packed up and went home. My family settled into our house in the Victor's Village. The everyday life of District 12 - workers to the mines and kids to school - resumed its usual pace. I waited until I thought the coast was really clear, and then one Sunday, without telling anyone, I got up hours before dawn and took off for the woods.

The weather was still warm enough that I didn't need a jacket. I packed along a bag filled with special foods, cold chicken and cheese and bakery bread and oranges. Down at my old house, I put on my hunting boots. As usual, the fence was not charged and it was simple to slip into the woods and retrieve my knives. Not that I used them. But now I didn't like to be in the woods unarmed. Just in case. I went to our place, Gale's and Katniss's and mine, where we had shared breakfast the morning of the Reaping that sent me into the Games.

I waited at least two hours. I'd begun to think that he'd given up on me in the weeks that had passed. Or that he no longer cared about me. Hated me even. And the idea of losing him forever, one of my best friends, one of the only two people I'd ever trusted with my secrets, was so painful that I couldn't stand it. Not on top of everything else that had happened. I could feel my eyes tearing up and my throat starting to close the way it does when I get upset.

Then I looked up and there he was, ten feet away, just watching me. It was the first time that I'd really seen him since that day coming back from the Capitol. Katniss wasn't with him. Without even thinking, I jumped up and threw my arms around him, making some weird sound that combined laughing, choking, and crying. He was holding me so tightly that I couldn't see his face, but it was a really long time before he let me go and then he didn't have much choice, because I'd gotten this unbelievably loud case of the hiccups and had to get a drink.

We did what we always did that day. Ate breakfast. Hunted and fished and gathered. Talked about people in town. But not about us, his new life in the mines, or my time in the arena. Just about other things. By the time we were at the hole in the fence that was nearest the Hob, I really believed that things could be the same. That we could go on as we always had. I'd given all the game to Gale to trade since we had so much food now. I told him I'd skip the Hob, even though I was looking forward to going there, because the others didn't even know I'd gone hunting and they'd be wondering where I was. Then suddenly, as I was suggesting I take over the daily snare run, he took my face in his hands and kissed me.

I was completely unprepared. It was the second time that he'd done it but it was no less shocking than the first time that he had done it. We had stayed together for a little too long. Even longer than the first time. Mostly because we weren't interrupted that time. I was reasonably sure that I made some sort of noise in the back of my throat, and I vaguely remembered my fingers, curled tightly closed, resting on his chest. Then he let go and said, "I had to do that. Just so you know that it wasn't on impulse." And he was gone, as was our old friendship.

The warning was plain enough. _If you aren't desperately in love with Cato, I'll kill Gale_. "What do I need to do?" I asked, resigning to the fact that I would have to play his game.

He stood and I followed him. We walked over to where the screen sat on the desk. He turned back to me and I trembled slightly at how close he was. "When you and Cato are on tour you need to smile. You need to be grateful," he said.

I nearly vomited. But I stayed silent and nodded at him. If it avoided a war, or Gale's death, I would do whatever the hell they wanted me to do. "Of course," I said.

"But above all you need to be madly prepared to end it all in love. Do you think you can manage that?"

"Yes," I said. His smile grew slightly.

He walked away from me slightly and I let myself take a breath of fresh air. He smelled like blood and roses. As he pressed at a few buttons on the screen that sat on my desk I sighed deeply. The team would be here in only two minutes. This conversation had to be coming to an end.

"Yes, what?" he asked.

He wanted to know that everything was in his control and it didn't just stop there. He wanted to hear that he was in control too. "I'll convince them," I gritted out, wanting nothing more than to chuck the stapler on the desk at his head. But that would probably only make him more mad at me than he already was.

Faster than I had expected, President Snow whipped around to me and I took in a deep breath. "No. Convince me. For you, Miss Antaeus. You convince me... for the sake of your loved ones," he said.

I looked at the panel of glass in front of me. Gale was on it as were Katniss, Prim and Ms. Everdeen. They were sitting in the living room, clearly worried. Peacekeepers were surrounding them and I felt a growl build up in my throat. He was using them as bait for me.

"I would hate for you to lose the only people that you have left here. It would be quite the tragedy," he said, before turning and walking out of the room. Since I wasn't watching him it surprised me when he spoke in my ear. "By the way, I know about the kiss. The next time it happens, I'll whip him to death in front of you."

Completely numb, I walked out of the room behind him and took a deep breath as he walked out of the house. Some of the Peacekeepers were ahead of him, others on the sides, and the rest behind. He quickly made his way out the door and it shut before I got a chance to take everything in. My head was spinning. I was sure that I was about to be sick. Especially since Gale was the first one to stand once I walked into the room. I smiled at him weakly.

Once everyone was sure that they were gone my family made their way up to me and started to ask me if everything was alright and what he had said to me but I waved them off, telling them that apparently it was customary that he visit the newest Victors before the Victory Tour. They didn't need to know that he was threatening me and that they were his leverage. Especially not Prim. Not Gale, either. It was his life that was being threatened. I was about to ask Gale if he had seen Haymitch, but before I got the chance I heard loud voices outside.

Immediately knowing that it was Effie Trinket and the rest of my group, I made a quick dash outside. Cinna would be with them. Before they came into view, I looked down at what I was wearing. Effie wouldn't be thrilled with what I was wearing. It wasn't the most Capitol thing that I could have worn but it would work. Effie probably wouldn't like that it was so dull but Cinna would side with me. He would call it some word that made no sense to me. Some new style that he could pass off. Hopefully he just wouldn't be outnumbered by the rest of the Prep Team.

Once more I heard Effie's voice and I moved forward to meet the group with her. Effie was dressed in a stupid green skirt suit, similar to the one that she had worn during last year's Reaping. Her hair was now a bright yellow, almost mirroring a clown version of my own. She held her gloved hand up to the rest of the people with her and I laughed. At least she had gotten rid of that ugly fuchsia that she had worn last year. That was the worst that she'd had it in a long time.

"Stop. Take it all in. This... is sacred ground. History was made here. You'll get used to the smell," she said. I laughed lightly, forgetting how eccentric Effie was. It was something that I had almost missed while I was home. "Hello, my dear!"

Effie came up to me, embracing me in a tight hug. "Hi, Effie. Good to see you," I greeted.

"The Capitol hasn't been quite the same without you."

Despite everything I managed to grin at her. She looked me over once, frowned disapprovingly at my outfit, and let me go, walking into the house where Haymitch was now standing. I knew that he hadn't showered but at least he had gotten himself up from the table. That was one step in the right direction. Flavius stepped up to me and I smiled at the man. His hair was still a bright orange and he still looked like he had fallen into a vat of tie dye. But he was a good man at heart. He pulled me into a hug and I had to resist sneezing at all of the perfume he was wearing.

"There she is. My greatest triumph," he said as he pushed me back slightly to look me over.

"You look... lovely," Venia said, almost regretfully.

"Your nails!" Octavia shouted.

They had been bitten down pretty far. "Sorry," I muttered.

For a moment I thought that I had done well with my outfit until their gazes fell down to my tattered boots. Flavius's face fell slightly but he managed to keep his mouth shut. Something that genuinely shocked me. Octavia pushed past her friend and I laughed at the woman. She was extremely friendly but sometimes her attitude was a little off-putting. She would get angry over little things, like the fact that I grew back hair apparently faster than anyone else that she knew.

"Sweetie, we've missed you," Octavia said, as she pulled me into a hug.

I hugged her back and gave a small smile when I looked her over. She had purple hair now and for some reason it actually looked good on her. Venia walked up next and I nearly laughed. Maybe it just hadn't been important before or maybe I had never noticed it, but Venia towered over me. She must have already stood at six feet and with her heels. She was probably over two feet taller than me. She dwarfed me even more than Cato. Speaking of, he should have been pulling into the station soon. Venia gave me a hug and when she let go she turned back to my house.

"What a cute 'lil house," Venia said.

"Is it small?" I asked.

All three of them laughed. The trio walked over to my house and I grinned as they looked it over, poking at it like it was a small child. Though the house was the nicest thing that I had ever seen here in District 12, it was just your average home to a Capitol resident. This was like everyday life to them. This was probably what the poor of the Capitol lived in. Too poor to be a real Capitol citizen, but too rich to be suited for the Districts. It almost made me laugh.

"Quaint, isn't it?" Flavius asked his friends, who all nodded at him.

Turning away from the pair I noticed that Effie and Haymitch seemed to be in the middle of a small argument. Naturally. It only made me smile. They hadn't even been together for two minutes and they were already fighting. I rolled my eyes at the pair and went to break it up but as soon as Effie noticed that I was looking at her she brightened and completely forgot about Haymitch, who looked pissed.

"Of course, you've heard about Cinna," she said.

My face fell. What had happened to Cinna? Part of me debated on asking her what had happened to him, but the other part told me that I didn't want to know. He had made me the star of the Games and I was sure that President Snow wasn't too happy about that. But he wouldn't do anything to the man. Would he?

"What happened to Cinna?" I finally asked Effie.

Judging by her face I could tell that nothing serious had happened but I was still nervous. Her face fell and for a moment I thought that I would vomit. "Oh, dear. He's a fashion star," she squealed.

I nearly killed her. She had made me think that he was dead but it was all because he was some big shot fashion person in the Capitol. Not that I cared, but I was happy for him. I was sure that it was what he wanted. "That's nice," I said.

"You're his muse. Everyone in the capitol is wearing him. Everyone. Everyone!" she squealed.

I rolled my eyes. A habit that I had grown rather fond of the last few months and everyone else had grown tired of. Looking down at my own outfit and then Effie's I stifled a small laugh. "Not everyone," I told her.

She raised her eyebrows at me. Before she had the chance to question me on what I had meant, I saw Cinna pop up behind her and I smiled brightly. "Cinna," I breathed, before running up to the man and letting him pull me into a hug.

"Hello, darling."

"You have no idea how good it is to see you. It hasn't been the easiest few months, especially with the fact that no one really understands anything about the process in the Capitol," I told him.

"Come on. Let's get you started," Cinna said.

"Joy," I groaned.

He grinned at me. The Prep Team set me on a chair in the living room, and, as usual, started talking nonstop without bothering to notice if I was listening. Which I wasn't. I was more laughing as Cinna made faces at me. While Venia reinvented my eyebrows and Octavia gave me fake nails and Flavius massaged goo into my hair, I heard all about the Capitol. What a hit the Games were, how dull things had been since, how no one could wait until Cato and I visited again at the end of the Victory Tour. After that, it wouldn't be long before the Capitol began gearing up for the Quarter Quell.

"Isn't it thrilling?"

"Don't you feel so lucky?"

"In your very first year of being a Victor, you get to be a Mentor in a Quarter Quell!"

Their words overlapped in a blur of excitement. "Oh, yes," I said neutrally.

Not long later, Octavia called me. "Aspen? Aspen is this your friends' little sister?" she asked.

I looked over. Now that Cinna was working with me, the Prep Team had started to wander around. In the front yard were Gale, Katniss, and Prim. I assumed that Katniss and Prim were trying to escape. Prim was currently being passed around by the three and Effie was laughing. Even I laughed. Prim looked terrified. Katniss was staring at the group like they were from another planet, which they basically were. Gale, on the other hand, was trying to avoid the glances from Venia and I laughed loudly. Why would they be interested in a guy like Gale? He was so plain.

"Oh, isn't she so adorable!"

"My goodness, I can see how people fell in love with her in the Capitol."

"Sweetie," they all gushed, poked at Prim's cheeks, who looked ready to kill them.

Shaking my head, I looked away and saw that Cinna hadn't been looking at the others. He was giving me a scrutinizing gaze and I felt slightly self-conscious. What was he staring at me for? "Are you okay?" he asked.

"That obvious?" I asked, knowing that I was wearing my emotions right now.

"Sorry," Cinna said, smiling.

"That's alright. I'm good," I said, wishing that I could tell Cinna the truth, but glad that he had asked.

"Ready to work?" Cinna asked.

"I guess so."

"Alright, good. We only have a little while before you get to see Cato so we'll have to get through this relatively fast. Sorry about the rush."

"I was expecting it."

We made our way back into the house and I sighed as everyone was ushered away from us. Katniss, Gale, and Prim were ordered into the other rooms so that I could get ready in peace and have time to mentally prepare myself for the interview. Haymitch and Effie were in the corner of the room, Effie on her phone and Haymitch was filing through some electronic device that Effie had given him. I, on the other hand was thrust back into a chair while everyone continued getting to work.

After chatter of the Games, the team worked silently, only speaking when they needed each other to move or give them something. My nails, eyebrows, and hair was done quickly and my makeup was on faster than I had ever seen it done. Maybe we really were behind schedule. I looked at myself in the mirror as they pulled me out of the room. My eyebrows were evened out again and my makeup was soft. My eyes were a dark, but they were contrasted with makeup slightly darker than my own skin over the eyelid. I had a rosy pink on my lips and cheeks too, giving me a sweet and sultry look. My nails were done a dark green and I smiled. It was one of my favorite colors.

The whole time Cinna was working we talked about my talent. We had one telephone in my house that I used to pretty much only talk to Cinna. I would have talked to Cato but I didn't know his phone number and I had a feeling that no one would have let me use it for him anyways.

But as for the talent, every Victor was supposed to have one. Your talent was the activity that you took up since you didn't have to work either in school or your District's industry. It could be anything, really, anything that they could interview you about. Cato, as it turned out, actually had a talent, which was teaching young kids how to sword fight. He absolutely hated it but it was something that he could do that fascinated the Capitol. It pretty much got them to leave him alone, other than to take some videos and ask him about strategies.

I didn't have a talent, unless you counted hunting illegally, which they didn't. Or maybe singing, which I wouldn't do for the Capitol in a million years. Not after Rue. Ms. Everdeen tried to interest me in a variety of suitable alternatives from a list Effie sent her. Cooking, flower arranging, and playing the flute. None of them took, although Prim had a knack for all three. Finally Cinna stepped in and offered to help me develop my passion for designing clothes, which really required development since it was nonexistent. But I said yes because it meant getting to talk to Cinna and he promised he'd do all the work.

Finally I was finished after Cinna tossed a new bundle of clothes that I had 'designed' at me, teasingly called me useless, and ordered me to get changed. I did so quickly, the entire time getting barked at by Effie that I was moving too slow. As I was dragged to the door of my home, I could just barely hear Caesar Flickerman starting the show. Effie silenced the small chatter that surrounded us. She wasn't paying attention and I could tell that she was nervous. Pressing my ear against the door, I listened to the welcoming of the show and grinned as I realized that Cato should be right outside.

"Welcome. Welcome. Last year the Seventy-Fourth Hunger Games promised the greatest love story of our time. Two brave young people against all odds chose to die rather than to lose each other. As a nation we shared the agony. But we had so little time to revel in their joy..." Caesar drawled.

Despite the fact that I was still trying to listen to Caesar, I was pulled away from the door by Venia. She looked me over and fluffed my hair a few times before nodding to herself. "It's time. She's done," she said, stepping back to observe her work.

Haymitch brushed by me, giving me a small nod before walking off to the door. Although I was sure that he was very tempted to call me ugly. He tended to like to making little biting comments like that. Cinna moved forward and looked me over before letting a large smile settle over his face. I blushed lightly and laughed as he motioned for me to make a small twirl. It made me feel like for once I really was a princess, not a prisoner. Which was exactly what I was.

"She's lovely," Cinna told everyone.

"Thanks. I've really outdone myself," I teased.

"You're useless," Cinna teased.

It made me snort. He led me over to the door where Haymitch was waiting and I took a deep breath. "Remember how to act?" Haymitch asked.

"We're about to find out," I said.

"And now we must feed the monster," Cinna said softly.

That time I let out a loud laugh. Leave it Cinna to make me feel better. Finally glancing up from her phone, Effie walked over to us and let out a small squeal when she saw me. Okay, so sometimes I missed Effie and sometimes she drove me out of my damn mind.

"Oh, don't you just look adorable!" she yelled.

Actually I looked like I was sick of everything. I was. "Thanks, Effie," I said anyways.

"The Capitol is so excited to see you after so long of almost nothing. Now Cato is coming up on the house now so get ready to meet him again," she said. That time I let a real grin cross over my face. I turned back before the door opened and saw that Katniss and everyone else were being pushed back towards the television. They weren't allowed to be outside. Only Effie, Haymitch, Brutus, Enobaria, and whatever Cato's Mentors name was were allowed. "You're excited. You're in love. Big smiles for the camera in three... two... one."

Finally the door was pushed open and my heart lodged in my throat. It had been so long since the cameras had been around me. I'd almost gotten used to being on my own again. My eyes took a moment to adjust to the blinding lights that were put up by the Capitol workers and I coughed. But quickly I adjusted and looked around myself.

"There she is, Aspen Antaeus, the Girl on Fire! And there he is folks... Cato Hadley, the fierce Career," Caesar said.

So he was here. The question was, where? I quickly turned to my side. That was where all of the noise was. Standing with a proud look on his face was Cato. I noticed that my family was watching through the window so that no one could actually see them. Cato's hands were crossed over his torso and I immediately dashed over, launching myself into his arms. He caught me but I barreled into him so roughly that it knocked him back. The two of us went sprawling into the snow.

"Uh-oh. Whoa! I hope they're alright," Caesar commented.

But I was too busy with someone else. Cato looked freezing. I assumed that it was much warmer in District 2. Laughing, Cato threw me under him and pressed snow to my face. I shrieked with laughter and gave him a hard kiss on the lips. His arms wound tightly around my back as I reveled in the sight of him again. The two of us remained locked together for a while and my heart melted. This was what I had needed for months. I could have stayed like that forever.

"Umm. Ahem! Anyone at home? Should we come back later?" Caesar asked.

I finally pulled myself away from Cato. Just as I was about to stand up and talk with Caesar, Cato grabbed my hand and kept me at his side. He looked good but tired. "Well I knew you'd be a little happy to see me, Twelve, but this is a pleasant surprise," he said, with a smirk and I laughed.

In some strange way, I had almost missed him calling me Twelve. "Good to see you, Two," I teased.

"It almost reminds me of when we were in that cave and you seemed to get the idea that we should -" he began.

Easily I shut him up with a slap to the arm. I could practically hear everyone in the Capitol laughing. In fact I could hear them laughing over the cameras. I knew that Caesar would give us a moment if it meant that the Capitol could see us interact. Despite the fact that he had a sly grin on his face I saw the love shining through in his eyes. For just a moment I forgot about the threats, Seneca Crane, and the Games. It was just the two of us.

"I missed you, you asshole."

"There it is. I knew that you could only go so long," Cato teased.

"You ready to head out in the morning?" I asked, when I saw the sadness overtake his face.

"Not like we have much of a choice," Cato said.

"I guess I should talk to them, shouldn't I?" I asked.

He gave me a small nod, chuckling lightly. "It's time," Cato said regretfully.

He stood and offered me his hand, which I gratefully took. Once I was on my feet, I shook myself off and gave a bashful grin at the odd camera that was following us, showing Caesar. "Sorry, Caesar. It's just been a little while," I said with a false laugh.

He obviously didn't care as he gave me the small shake of his head. Of course he didn't care. Not when it meant that they got juicy videos of their favorite Victors. "No, please. It's alright. It's your day," he said with a small grin. I gave him a tiny nod, forcing the smile to stay on my face. "How's it going?"

I nearly laughed. That was a very blase question. Clearly Cato hadn't been expecting the question either as he stammered over his words for a moment. But just as quickly as he lost his composure, he gained it back once more. He gave Caesar a small grin and laughed, almost like he was embarrassed at whatever his answer would be.

"We're good," he said simply and I snickered.

The whole world seemed to stop for a moment, completely in shock at Cato's answer. He had always been the Tribute that loved the lime light and loved to tell everyone exactly what it was that he was thinking. I was sure that they were wondering why he had gone so quiet all of a sudden.

"That's it? That's all we have? 'We're good.' So tacky all of a sudden," Caesar laughed. "Cato, come on. Give me some details. Since Miss Aspen seems to be a little shy at the moment," he added, with a wink in my direction.

Deciding that I needed to say something, I cleared my throat, letting Cato know that I did have something to say. He nodded at me and I took a deep breath. I had to pacify President Snow and the whole thing started right here. This was the beginning of the Victory Tour, I had two weeks to make him believe that I was the perfect Tribute.

"Well things are, uh... things are great here in District 12. Thanks to the generosity of the Capitol we've never been closer. In twenty-five years to be exact actually. We owe them everything," I added onto the end, forcing myself not to throw up the little amount of food that I had eaten today.

His brilliant smile plastered on his face, Caesar laughed loudly and gave a huge smile. "Fantastic," he chirped. I smiled back. Even though I hated the Capitol, some part of me couldn't hate Caesar Flickerman. He was just so friendly and made everyone look amazing. "Well you have a busy schedule tonight so we'll be letting you go for the night. We'll be checking both of you through out the Victory Tour." One of my eyebrows shot up. That was fast. But all the better. "Thank you so much Aspen Antaeus and Cato Hadley."

We both gave little waves, waiting for our cue to stop. The screen showed us images from the Capitol, where everyone was cheering and yelling. They all looked so happy and I nearly threw myself onto the camera. If only they knew how unhappy we really were. The screen finally went black and both Cato and I dropped our hands, small scowls taking over our faces as Effie stepped in front of us, motioning to everyone standing around.

"Wonderful. Everybody in motion we are out of here in ten," Effie said.

Bored now that everyone was gone, I nodded, turning back to Cato. With the cameras gone now I could actually talk to Cato freely. Not about everything. But I could talk to him. I gave him a once over and smiled. He had the same bright blonde hair and piercing blue eyes. His eyes looked like they had become even bluer and I grinned. They looked gorgeous. His hair was getting longer too. Now it was just long enough to be tucked behind his ears. Normally I didn't like that look but Cato looked good with it.

"Good to see you again," Cato said, laying a hand on my hip.

"You too."

"Those damn letters were taking too long. I thought about giving you a call but I didn't know what your phone number was or if it was safe to call," he said.

Calling would have gone faster but it was better that we didn't. The Capitol could tap phone lines and they would be able to listen to us talking to each other. They would either end up knowing something to get myself or my friends killed. And the same with him.

"Probably better that you didn't. I know that they could tap the lines if they really wanted to. The only person that I talk to is Cinna," I told him.

"For your fashion line," Cato said teasingly.

He knew that it wasn't me. "You like them?" I asked.

He pressed his mouth against my ear. "I like what's underneath better," he growled.

My face lit up red and he smirked, knowing that he had gotten to me. "Shut up," I mumbled. "So where are you staying for the night?"

He grabbed my hand. For a moment I was caught off guard. His hands had been so rough the first time that I had touched them. They were soft now, like he had just been born. It was strange. "Well if you leave your window open we could always..." he trailed off. I glared at him.

Typical Cato. I wasn't ready for anything like that. "Really?" I asked.

He laughed at my glare and held his hands up in surrender. "Okay, fine, I get it. I have to stay where I was told to stay. They have a room for me in the Justice Building, I think," he said.

I had only been in there once but it seemed nice enough. "Good enough for one night," I said.

"Probably not much but better than nothing," he added on.

"I want to take you around the District tomorrow before the celebrations. I want you to see my home," I said.

"I'd love that."

Slowly I began to pull him towards my house but I noticed that Peacekeepers still stood in front of it. I cocked my head at the ones still standing guard and rolled my eyes. Maybe they weren't allowed to leave the post of my house until I was gone on the tour. As I moved to brush past them, Effie's voice called me back to her.

"Come on, children, we are on schedule. The train awaits!" she yelled.

Both Cato and I whipped around to her, completely in shock. He got here tonight and we would leave in the morning. That was how this was supposed to work. That was the plan. Not to leave tonight. I wasn't ready to say goodnight. Not that I needed to pack or anything, but I wanted to get my time to say goodbye to everyone. And they were supposed to meet Cato. Turning back to Effie, hoping that it was a mistake on her part, I took a deep breath.

"Wait, what?" I asked.

"Time to leave," Effie said.

"We were supposed to be in District 12 tonight. Cato would stay in the Justice Building and we were going to have some time in the morning to look around. I was supposed to have time to say goodbye to our friends and family in the morning on the platform. Why are we getting on the train tonight?" I asked.

Instead of rolling her eyes and yelling at me for not knowing the schedule, Effie actually looked guilty. "Oh, I'm sorry kids. I thought that you knew. Well, I thought that I had told you. I guess I got a little distracted," she said. This wasn't the time to be distracted. What the hell was going on? "They were direct orders from the Capitol from President Snow. He has moved each festivity a day forward. Something about timing being a little off." My face heated up. Damn him! He was doing this to purposely to annoy me. "Come now!"

Despite the fact that I knew that I would get yelled at, I stood my ground and stared holes into Effie's back. Before she could even notice that I wasn't behind her, I turned back to my house, ignoring Cato hissing my name. I was not leaving here without saying goodbye.

"I want to say goodbye to my family first. That's what I deserve. Cato got to say goodbye to his family so I should get to say goodbye to mine," I barked as I turned around.

"Aspen!" Haymitch shouted.

He was giving me a dark glare and I sighed pathetically at him. "Come on, my house is right there!" I barked.

"I know, but it's time to leave."

I turned back to my house but was cut off at the entrance by one of the Peacekeepers. The others were currently busy keeping my family back behind the door as they tried to make their way out to me. "I'll make it fast, I promise," I told the man.

The man sighed at me and shook his helmeted head. "I'm sorry, Miss Antaeus, we need to get you to the Capitol right on time. Orders from President Snow. No stopping or saying goodbye. You'll be seeing them soon," he said.

My stomach turned again as I gulped deeply. Turned out that it was still the same man that I had kicked on the hovercraft. And, even though he sounded sad, I knew that he was beyond happy that I didn't get a chance to say goodbye.

"You know, I'm almost glad that you didn't die in the arena. I think it's actually become fun. Watching you to see when you'll finally break. I'm betting that it's soon," he told me darkly.

"I'm sure my final act won't disappoint," I said.

 _That sounds like a rebellion, idiot_. I quickly took off to my group, giving my family one last sorry look. The looks on their faces broke my heart. Katniss looked like she might run to me anyways, no matter what the consequences. I shook my head at her and sighed. It wasn't worth it and I would be back here in a few weeks. I blew a small kiss to her, trying to reassure her silently that I was alright. Prim looked like she might cry and I had to look away from her. I just wanted to tell her that I wasn't going into the Games. Actually this was probably worse than the Games. But she didn't need to know that.

The last thing that I wanted was to make her even guiltier. I flashed her a reassuring smile and turned to Ms. Everdeen. She looked proud but hurt. I knew that it killed her that this had happened to me and she felt guilty. After all, it was only because one of her biological children got Reaped that I went into the Games in the first place. I gave her a small wave and turned to Gale. He looked furious as his eyes burned holes into Cato. I shook my head at him and blew him a kiss, laughing lightly as he rolled his eyes. Cato grabbed my hand and pulled me along with the group and I nodded.

Cato's attempt to grab my hand would likely send Gale into an angry tizzy, but I had to do everything possible to be in love with Cato over-the-top. For both of their safety. Turning away from my family and friends hurt but it made me see Haymitch out of the corner of my eyes. He was walking parallel to us and I almost hadn't noticed him. But his look made me notice. He looked completely broken hearted. It was worse than everyone else's looks together. I shook my head and leaned into Cato as we headed to the train station, not that it was a very far walk.

"Timing my ass. President Snow did this to try and get to me," I said.

"Don't be silly, Aspen," Effie said.

"He's just being a child now, doing little things that he thinks will upset me and make me do something stupid. It won't work," I said, with a harsh bite to my words.

Cato nodded at me and let an arm fall over my shoulders. I was shivering slightly from the cold and he knew it. "Good," he said. I leaned into him a little more. "It's only a few weeks and you'll see them again."

"I just wanted to say goodbye," I muttered. "And I wanted you to meet them."

"Did they want to meet me?" Cato asked.

A brief hesitation. "Yes," I lied.

"Liar."

"They wanted to meet you."

"Your friends probably wanted to kill me," Cato said.

"It doesn't matter. I wanted you to meet them and you would have. They had agreed," I said.

"Do they hate me?" Cato asked.

"Not really. Ms. Everdeen is just kind of nervous about you. Remember, she knew my mother and father well. Katniss is hesitant. She's happy that I love you but she's got a thing against the Careers. Prim is terrified of you. But she likes that I'm happy."

"And your _cousin_?"

There was something bitter in his voice. "He's fine," I muttered.

"Why did they make him your cousin?" Cato asked, pulling me close.

"Think about it. Our story was all about how in love we were. It was why we got away with the end of the Games. Having one of my best friends being an attractive male wasn't good. Especially when people had questioned that we were involved before the Games. So they made up the lie and since there was no solid proof that we were together romantically beforehand, everyone bought it."

"Was there?" Cato asked.

"What?"

"Anything there?"

Another hesitation. "Nothing that I ever got a chance to explore. There was someone else that I fell in love with," I said, pressing a kiss to Cato's mouth.

"Keep reminding yourself that," Cato said.

"Are you jealous?"

"No," Cato snapped.

"Yes, you are," I said, laughing softly.

"Shut up," Cato snapped. He turned serious for a moment. "I know you, Aspen. You'll be fine. You just have to take a deep breath and remember that they can't do anything to you anymore. You've already beat the hardest part," he said.

But the hardest part hadn't passed. Not with Seneca Crane waiting for me. "I know," I muttered.

"They did the same thing to Julie and Skye," Cato said.

"They did?" I asked, surprised.

"Same thing. Two nice-looking girls as my best friends didn't look good. So the first time that cameras caught them with one of our male friends they took pictures and claimed that they were in love with those guys. They threatened me to keep along with the story and I did. They're not dating those guys but I have to ensure that they stay friendly with them to fool the Capitol on the occasions that they get pictures of them all together," Cato explained.

It wasn't just me that they were threatening. It was both of us. I wasn't sure if it made me feel better or worse. We walked up to the train and I sighed at the sight of it. No less horrific than I remembered it. Although at least this time there was slightly less of a chance that I would die while I was in the Capitol. But only slightly. And there was the chilling fact that I was two weeks away from being in the grasp of Seneca Crane, much to my horror.

We stood in front of the doors and as they slid open I looked inside. It looked exactly the same as it had when it had been taking me to the Games. But this time everything was different. There wasn't even a slight excitement that I would get to see what the Capitol was all about. No. This time was fear and rage. Fear for what they would to do to my family. Rage over what would happen the next time that I was met face-to-face with President Snow or Seneca Crane.

"All right kids, all aboard," Effie called and we stepped into the train. "Fabulous. Wine, massages, spa treatments. I told them nothing but the finest treatments for my two Victors."

I raised my eyebrows. Technically she only had one. The other was nothing more than a headstone now. One that I visited frequently. "Uh... Effie?" I asked.

"Well, one Victor, but Cato you may as well be mine too! It will be wonderful. It all needs to be..." Effie trailed off as she lost her words.

Shaking my head at Effie, I walked over to the bar and snatched the drink out of Haymitch's hand. For a moment I debated on pouring it down the drain, but at the last minute, I decided to down it. Haymitch snorted and I could practically hear Effie chastising me in her mind. But, luckily, she hadn't been watching. She was still trying to find her words.

"I'm gonna go out on a wild limb here and guess. Fabulous?" I asked with a small snort.

Instead of understanding that I had been teasing her, she brightened and gave me a large smile. "Exactly," she chirped. I shook my head. "Now the schedule is a bit of a bore. Twelve days, twelve Districts but it's mostly parties, celebrations and adoring fans to greet you in every stop along the way and then we wrap it up in the Capitol. All you need to do is give a few speeches, wave to the crowds, and enjoy your time in the spotlight. You've earned it."

There was a dreamy look in her eyes. Turning back from the counter, rage shot through me. I knew that most of the time Effie didn't think about what she said but there were times that the things that she said really got to me. This was one of those times. How dare she think that I deserved to be praised? I had done awful things and that was what this Victory Tour was really about. It was to get the Victor to feel guilty for everything that they had done. And to make the Districts feel even worse. It was just one more way to show how little we really were to the Capitol.

"What did you say"? I hissed at Effie, giving her a chance to change her answer.

Sensing the tension and knowing where the conversation was going, Cato stepped in between the two of us and laid a hand on my shoulder. "Aspen," he said to me softly, more as a warning than anything else. "Don't worry about her Effie, she's been spending too much time in her own head and not listening to others. It's fine, we should be heading to bed. It's been a long day for the both of us and tomorrow will be even longer."

The other woman fawned at the sight of Cato. She batted her yellow eyelashes and I rolled my eyes. She was such a Capitol woman, just slightly less worse than the others. But what she had said made her just as bad. It showed how different she really was from us.

"What a good gentleman you are, Cato," she cooed at him. I scoffed. "I said enjoy it Aspen. You've earned it."

She didn't understand that I was angry. Loosing my temper I stepped up to her and heard Cato groan behind me. But I brushed him off. This needed to be said. "I earned it? Do you know I earned it? By killing people. Not even just one person. More than one. I stabbed someone in the eye. Another person I stabbed in the throat. I ripped someone's _skin_ off. Two people I got killed by mutts. Two I got killed accidentally by other people. Both of those I loved. I drowned someone. These were people's kids. Their family. That isn't even all of them. I've torn apart families and all that you can think about is the parties that they will throw for me? Pieces of trash. All of you. Damned cowards," I hissed.

For a moment I actually felt bad about what I had said. At least the part where I had cursed at her. That had been slightly unnecessary but she had needed to hear it. Hurt flashed through Effie's eyes but she quickly replaced it with her stern scold.

"Young lady," she growled.

I felt a sudden spout of bravery as I stared her down. Cutting off whatever lecture she was going to give me, I held a hand up. "I'm not really in a mood for a lecture. I was just ripped from my home with no warning. For a second time this year. I'm just getting sick of it," I growled at her before stomping out of the room.

The room was silent as I left. I wasn't in the mood to hear anything else. I headed down the hallway, remembering where my room was and walked into it. The damn thing looked exactly the same. Still just as impersonal. I pulled open the drawers and peeled off my clothes, grabbing a white tank top and a black pair of running shorts. Yawning I washed off my makeup too and braided my hair before sitting on the bed and facing the wall. I was only sitting for about a moment when I heard the door slide open. I let out a small sigh and shook my head.

"I'll apologize to Effie later," I said softly as I turned back, surprised to see that it wasn't Haymitch, but Cato. "I thought you were Haymitch."

He shook his head at me as he walked over to me and sat down on the bed. He had changed too. He was wearing a pair of loose black shorts that hung around his waist and no shirt. He had never been one to really care what he looked like in front of me. He didn't care how little he was wearing. I blushed as the thoughts that ran through my mind turned from angry to something completely different.

"You don't have to apologize to anybody. Not me. Not Effie. No one. You have done nothing wrong," he said.

I gave him a small smile. "I've done a lot wrong," I said.

"Not for me."

"Not even with the knives?" I asked.

"No. You got the two of us out of there together. You showed me how much more there was to life than the Hunger Games."

"You did me some favors too."

"Like?"

"Showing me that love isn't something that I should be afraid of. I told you that night up on the roof that I didn't believe in love. I do now," I said.

"Good. Come here. Tell me something that you did over the past few months," he said as I laid my head on his shoulder. I snorted at him softly and he flicked me. "Something that has nothing to do with the Games."

I shook my head at him and sat up straight. "That's the problem, Cato. Everything that happens in my life now has everything to do with the Games. Nothing that I ever do again will have nothing to do with the Games. This is our life now. The Games are us," I said.

"They don't have to be. Right now, today, they don't have to be about Games."

"That's good. Because I don't want to talk about that right now. I've been waiting this long to talk to you and I didn't want it to be about the Games," I said.

He nodded at me. He pulled the two of us up to the headboard and I half-laid on him and half-laid against him. Our hands twined together as one of his ran up underneath my shirt to stroke at my bare skin. My eyes went back up to his hair and I grabbed it in my hands. Instead of sticking up in spikes it now flowed down to his ears. The sides were shaved off too I noticed. It was different than I had ever seen anyone have it before. I liked it. The look made him seem older.

"Your hair is longer, I like it," I told him honestly.

He smiled at me and tugged at a lock of my hair. I laughed and remembered the times that he used to do that to me before we had gone our separate ways. "I thought that you might like it," Cato said.

"I do."

"Brutus told me that every Victor needs a look. Mine is this."

"It's a good look."

"Yours is longer."

"Well it grew back after it was burned off," I said, almost laughing.

"Keep it like that. I like it," Cato said.

"You liked pulling it, like a little kid," I said.

He smiled bashfully at me. "I guess yours is the little braid that you wear," he said.

We both laughed. "Old habit I got from Katniss. It was the easiest way to keep it so that it was out of my face," I said.

"My Mom keeps asking me to grow it back on both sides but Brutus tells me that there's no way that I can go back to the way it used to look," he said.

I laughed. It sounded like a very motherly thing to ask. "She doesn't like it?" I asked.

"She thinks it makes me look too old," Cato said.

Nodding at him, I rubbed my hand over where he had no hair. It was soft but sort of prickly where the new hair was growing in. "I agree with Brutus. As horrifying as that thought may be." We both laughed. "It does make you look older. It makes you look like a Career, actually. Even more so than you used to," I told him.

There was a conflict of emotion in his eyes. I was sure that he liked that I liked it but maybe he didn't want to be the Career anymore. "I suppose," Cato mumbled.

"They'll like the pictures that they'll take of you when we get to the Capitol," I said.

He shook his head at me. He laughed and grabbed my hair, tugging on it and pulling me so that I slipped into his lap. I laughed and let him undo my braid. He slowly ran his hands through it and I sighed. I loved the feeling of him doing it. He spent a few minutes untangling the braid before my hair fell down my back. Even now that it was totally undone he continued to run his hands through my hair slowly. It almost made me fall asleep in his lap.

"We have almost two weeks before we get there. And this Victory Tour can take as long as possible before we get there," he said.

"I agree."

I knew that he hated the Capitol too, maybe just slightly less than I did. "Hey, maybe I'll chop all of my hair off or dye it blue?" he suggested.

At the image of Cato doing just that I snorted under my breath. For a moment we sat together in silence but then a thought dawned on me. Had he said that he would dye his hair blue. But why had he only said blue? He could have just said that he would dye it.

"Why blue?" I asked him.

He looked very surprised. Maybe he had thought that I would just shrug it off. He smiled at me and kissed my forehead lightly, bringing a small blush to my cheeks. I loved Cato because he was everything. He was tough but he was sweet too. Not that he ever showed anyone besides myself that he was sweet. That was strictly for his own family and me on the rare occasion. President Snow was wrong. I knew what love was and I knew that it was how I felt about Cato.

"It's my favorite color," he said.

I raised my eyebrows. It was one of those things that I had never really thought about. His favorite color. It was such a mundane thing but it was something that people who loved each other knew. It was something that we should know about each other. So why didn't I know that it was his? If I would have had to guess I would have thought that it was red. The color of blood. It seemed to suit his personality so well. Blood and anger. All the things that it meant to be a Career.

"Really?" I asked.

"Yes."

"I would have thought that it was red," I admitted.

Cato laughed and shook his head as I smiled at him. "Now that's stereotyping. Thinking that my favorite color would be the same color as blood," he said.

It was my turn to laugh. "Good job, figuring it out," I said.

Of course, I would have called him stupid had he not. "No, I like blue. It reminds me of the sky. I used to be stuck inside training all day when I would really want to practice in the yard. You knew that. You had to be at least sixteen to practice in the yard," he said. I frowned at the memory. He had only ever wanted to be outside and he hadn't even been allowed that. "But, anyways, everything of mine was blue. My walls and my clothes. My family hates blue to say the least."

It was such a Cato thing to do. I smiled at him and shook my head. I could picture a little Cato with everything blue. So much so that it made his family hate the color forever. "That's actually pretty cute," I said.

"You should know that I'm cute," Cato said.

"You're adorable."

"Thank you, darling," Cato teased.

"I always liked purple," I admitted.

He cocked his head at me. "I thought it was green," Cato said.

"It is. But I love purple too. Nothing we really get is purple. Not in District 12. It's just such an interesting color. Although after being in the Capitol for a long time I think that the only colors I like now are black, white, grey, and brown," I said.

He laughed at me and I grinned. Sometimes I thought that I was way too serious, but it was days like this that reminded me that I wasn't too serious. I was just around the wrong people. People who either cared too much about something that they didn't understand or people who didn't care at all. Cato pulled me against him a little tighter and I felt his hand linger at my waistband. He wasn't going to do anything but it still made butterflies erupt in my stomach. Excitement, not dread, exactly how I felt when I started thinking of my arrival in the Capitol.

"I agree with that one. We should get to bed, Aspen," Cato said.

"I know. We'll be in District 11 in the morning," I pointed out.

Rue and Thresh. I had dreaded that moment for months. "No. Tomorrow is a travel day," Cato said.

"Really?"

"Yeah. If you would have stuck around for dinner Effie would have told you."

"Oh... So two days then?" I asked.

"Yeah. I know that you don't want to be there but there's nothing more that can be done. We just have to get there and get over it."

"I know."

"Goodnight, Aspen. I'll see you in the morning," Cato said.

He didn't bother going to his own room and it didn't bother me. I loved having him here with me. It made me sleep just a little bit better. So we exchanged a long kiss as he tucked himself into my sheets. Taking a deep breath, I laid under that sheets and let my head fall onto his shoulder. He wrapped one hand around my shoulder pulled me even closer. He pressed a kiss against my forehead as I pressed one into his chest and I felt him grin. I yawned deeply and closed my eyes, nuzzling into his chest.

"Goodnight, Cato," I said softly, praying that the next two weeks would go by as quickly as possible. They would be more days of the utter hell that the Capitol had thrown me into.

 **A/N:** Here is the first edit for Burn. **Let me know what you think!** Until next time -A


	2. Chapter 2

Yawning deeply, I rolled onto my side and sighed. For a moment I thought that I was in my home in Victor's Village but that had only been a dream. It would be nice if I could go back home for the day, or for the rest of my life, but I knew that it wasn't going to work out that way. No matter how much I would like it to. I rubbed my eyes clear of sleep and realized that I was on the train. The train that was headed to District 11. The one District that I was absolutely dreading going to. The only good thing that came of it was that this would be the hardest District to get through. It was first so that meant that I didn't have to worry about it the entire Tour.

A soft moan came from my side and I turned over to see that Cato was slowly waking. He opened his eyes and I smiled at him. His light blue eyes were filled with sleep and he looked like he might just roll back over. Instead of doing that though, he surprised me when he grabbed me and pulled me into him. I laughed lightly and let him grab me tightly. It hurt my ribs slightly but I let him hold me. He felt like a wall but he was warm. And I loved the warmth. He pushed my hair out of my face and I gave him a soft grin. Without giving me a moment to say good morning to him, he pulled my head to his and I melted into our kiss.

We moved together for a moment and I smiled into the kiss. It wasn't the first time that we had ever kissed but it felt like it was the first time every time. Cato's hands traveled up my spine and he grabbed my shirt tightly in my hands. It was sweet the way that he acted with me. The dangerous Career from District 2 was finally showing me his soft side. I loved it. I just wished that I had seen it earlier. Cato began to roll me underneath him when a knock sounded on the door and we both shot apart.

"Come now, kids!" Effie called.

We both rolled our eyes. Naturally it was Effie, who was as chipper as ever. "Should we just ignore her?" I asked.

"Time to do the works!" she added.

"The works?" I asked.

"That doesn't sound good for you."

There was no backing out of this. I had to do it. "Five more minutes," I groaned, pressing a pillow over my head.

"Haymitch would like you both to have a small breakfast before we start getting you ready. Oh, and wear something nice, Aspen," she added.

I rolled my eyes. "I know, Effie," I called, loudly enough for her to know that I was awake.

"Hurry along, now. We have a schedule that we need to keep!" she called, before we could hear her heels clicking away.

Flipping myself backwards out of the bed - making Cato snort at the sight - I got to my feet. Standing from the bed I walked over to the dresser and began to rifle through it. For a moment I thought about actually wearing something nice. But it was just a travel day. So I ignored Effie's request and grabbed the first thing that I could see. Most of the clothing was as offensively colored as I remembered. Cato was just pulling himself back into the clothing that he had worn yesterday.

"I guess she isn't angry for last night anymore," I told Cato, referring to when I had told off Effie for saying that I deserved this.

"I don't think she was ever that angry," Cato said.

"I guess that's true. Effie doesn't really get angry. Just frustrated."

"My Escort is the same way."

In all honesty I knew that I shouldn't have told her off but she had said something completely insensitive. I hoped that she had learned something from what she had said but I knew that she hadn't figured anything out. As I continued to rifle through the drawers I saw a soft blue dress. It was short and puffed out slightly below the hips with small sparkles on it. The dress reminded me of the one that Rue had worn during her interview. I grinned slightly and put it to the side. I would wear it when we got to District 11 tomorrow. For Rue.

Cato and I walked out into the living room and we were immediately grilled by Effie and Haymitch about everything that was going to happen today. It turned out that yesterday's makeover was just to get me to the train station. Today I would get the works from my Prep Team and Cato would get the works from his. Cato was quickly taken away by his own Prep Team as I lingered in the living room. He was always much easier to deal with than me.

"Why? It's too cold for anything to show," I grumbled.

"Not in District 11," Effie said.

District 11. Our first stop. I'd rather start in any other District, since this was Rue's home. But that wasn't how the Victory Tour worked. Usually it kicked off in District 12 and then went in descending district order to District 1, followed by the Capitol. The Victor's District was skipped and saved for very last. Since District 12 put on the least fabulous celebration - usually just a dinner for the Tributes and a victory rally in the square, where nobody looks like they're having any fun - it was probably best to get us out of the way as soon as possible. This year, for the first time since Haymitch won, the final stop on the tour would be District 12.

With so many Victors from District 2, they would be treated just as another District this year. The good thing was that, this year, the Capitol would spring for the festivities. I tried to enjoy the food like Hazelle said. The kitchen staff clearly wanted to please me. They had prepared my favorite, lamb stew with dried plums, among other delicacies. Orange juice and a pot of steaming hot chocolate were waiting at my place at the table. So I made sure to eat a lot, and the meal was beyond reproach, but I couldn't say that I was enjoying it. I was also annoyed that no one but Effie and I had shown up.

"Where's everybody else?" I asked.

"Oh, who knows where Haymitch is," Effie said. I didn't really expect Haymitch, because he was probably just getting to bed. "Cinna was up late working on organizing your garment car. He must have over a hundred outfits for you. Your evening clothes are exquisite. And Cato's team is probably still asleep."

"So where is Cato?" I asked.

"With his Escort mentally preparing."

"Doesn't he need prepping?"

"Not the way you do," Effie replied.

What did that mean? It meant that I got to spend the morning having the hair ripped off my body while Cato went back to sleep in. I hadn't thought about it much, but in the arena at least some of the boys got to keep their body hair whereas none of the girls did. I could remember Cato's now, as we were in our hideout together. His hair was very blonde in the sunlight but it was there. Only his face remained completely smooth. Not one of the boys grew a beard and many were old enough to. I wondered what they did to them. Cato had some stubble now that they would likely take off.

If I somehow felt ragged, my Prep Team seemed in much worse condition, knocking back coffee and sharing brightly colored little pills. I glanced at them and almost debated on asking for one. I wanted to know what it was. But I knew that it was wrong to ask and I was almost grateful for the quiet. As far as I could tell, they never got up before noon unless there was some sort of national emergency, like my leg hair. I was so happy when it grew back in too.

As if it were a sign that things might be returning to normal. I ran my fingers along the soft, curly down on my legs and gave myself over to the team. None of them were up to their usual chatter, so I could hear every strand being yanked from its follicle. I had to soak in a tub full of a thick, unpleasant-smelling solution, while my face and hair were plastered with creams. Two more baths followed in other, less offensive, concoctions. I was plucked and scoured and massaged and anointed until I was raw.

Flavius tilted up my chin and sighed. "It's a shame Cinna said no alterations on you."

"Yes, we could really make you something special," Octavia said.

"When she's older. Then he'll have to let us," Venia said excitedly.

Do what? Blow my lips up? Tattoo my breasts? Dye my skin magenta and implant gems in it? Cut decorative patterns in my face? Give me curved talons? Or cat's whiskers? I saw all of those things and more on the people in the Capitol. Did they really have no idea how freakish they looked to the rest of us? The thought of being left to my Prep Team's fashion whims only added to the miseries competing for my attention - my abused body, my lack of sleep, my upcoming night with Seneca Crane, and the terror of being unable to satisfy President Snow's demands.

By the time I reached lunch, where Effie, Cinna, Carrine, Haymitch, and Cato had started without me, I was too weighed down to talk. They were raving about the food and how well they slept on the trains. Everyone was all full of excitement about the tour. Well, everyone but Haymitch. He was nursing a hangover and picking at a muffin. I wasn't really hungry either maybe because I loaded up on too much rich stuff this morning or maybe because I was so unhappy. I played around with a bowl of broth, eating only a spoonful or two.

People noticed my actions, tried to bring me into the conversation, but I just brushed them off. At some point, the train stopped. I knew that there was no way that we were there yet. Our server reported that it would not just be for a fuel stop - some part had malfunctioned and must be replaced. It would require at least an hour. That sent Effie into a state. She pulled out her schedule and began to work out how the delay would impact every event for the rest of our lives. Finally I just couldn't stand to listen to her anymore.

"No one cares, Effie!" I snapped. Everyone at the table stared at me, even Haymitch, who I would think would be on my side in that matter since Effie drove him nuts. I was immediately put on the defensive. "Well, no one does."

Without another word I got up and left the train car. The train suddenly seemed stifling and I was definitely queasy now. I managed to find the exit door, forced it open - triggering some sort of alarm, which I ignored - and jumped to the ground, expecting to land in snow. But the air was warm and balmy against my skin. The trees still wore green leaves. How far south had we come in a day? It felt almost like the weather in the Capitol. I walked along the track, squinting against the bright sunlight, already regretting my words to Effie.

She was hardly to blame for my current predicament. And I usually found myself shouting at her. I really should have gone back and apologized. My outburst was the height of bad manners, and manners mattered deeply to her. But my feet continued on along the track, past the end of the train, leaving it behind. An hour's delay. I could walk at least twenty minutes in one direction and make it back with plenty of time to spare. Instead, after a couple hundred yards, I sank to the ground and sat there, looking off into the distance. If I had a bow and arrows, would I have just kept going?

After a while I heard footsteps behind me. It would be Haymitch, coming to chew me out. It wasn't like I didn't deserve it, but I still didn't want to hear it. "I'm not in the mood for a lecture," I warned the clump of weeds by my shoes.

"I'll try to keep it brief," Cato said.

He took a seat beside me. "I thought you were Haymitch," I said.

"You think that I'm Peeta, and Haymitch, both more than once." The teasing didn't manage to bring a smile to my face. "No, he's still working on that muffin." I watched as Cato gently started rubbing at the lump of artificial muscle and skin on his arm. "Bad day, huh?" Cato asked.

"It's nothing," I said.

"Want to see my talent? Cinna did a great job on it."

"Sure it isn't."

"I should apologize to her, shouldn't I?"

"Probably. Hurry up and do it. I want to show you something," Cato said.

So when we went back to the dining car, where the others were still at lunch, I gave Effie an apology that I thought was an overkill but in her mind probably just managed to compensate for my breach of etiquette. To her credit, Effie accepted graciously. Just as she had with every other one of my outbursts. She said that it was clear that I was under a lot of pressure. And her comments about the necessity of someone attending to the schedule only lasted about five minutes. Really, I'd gotten off easily.

When Effie finally finished her many reasons for why we should keep to a schedule, Cato led me down a few cars to see his surprise. When I saw it I almost laughed. It was just his room. There was nothing different, with the exception of his bed being turned down with candles set out, lighting the room with a gentle yellow glow. It was beautiful. The back panel was no longer opaque. Now it was showing me an image of woods. Woods that were stunningly similar to those of District 12.

"It's not what you think it's for. I just knew that you had a bad day. I wanted to try and make it a little better. So I thought about home. Your home. You like it?" Cato asked.

"I love it," I said softly.

Cato walked me backwards and the two of us dropped down into the bed. I smiled as we tangled together. We would be in District 11 in a matter of hours but I couldn't bring myself to care. Instead Cato wrapped himself around me as the train started to lurch forward. We went back and forth between kissing, glancing out the fake window so that I could tell him about the picture that we were seeing, and just talking about anything that we could think of that didn't have to deal with the Games or the Victory Tour.

After a while I sat up, feeling much better than I had when we'd come in. "Want to see my talent? Cinna did a great job on it," I said.

Cato laughed. "Later. Come on, we're almost to District 11. Let's go take a look at it," he said.

So we got up - replaced a few articles of clothing that had been misplaced - and went down to the last car on the train. There were chairs and couches to sit on, exactly like when we had come from the Capitol after the Games, and that was what was wonderful. The back windows retracted into the ceiling so you were riding outside, in the fresh air, and you could see a wide sweep of the landscape. Huge open fields with herds of dairy cattle grazing in them. So unlike my own heavily wooded home.

We slowed slightly and I thought we might be coming in for another stop, when a fence rose up before us. Towering at least thirty-five feet in the air and topped with wicked coils of barbed wire, it made ours back in District 12 look childish. My eyes quickly inspected the base, which was lined with enormous metal plates. There would be no burrowing under those and no escaping to hunt. Then I saw the watchtowers, placed evenly apart, manned with armed guards, so out of place among the fields of wildflowers around them.

"That's something different," Cato said.

"Even District 12 isn't this bad," I muttered.

Rue gave me the impression that the rules in District 11 were more harshly enforced. But I never imagined something like that. Now the crops began, stretched out as far as the eye can see. Men, women, and children wearing straw hats to keep off the sun straighten up, turned our way, take a moment to stretching their backs as they watched our train go by. I could see orchards in the distance, and I wondered if that was where Rue would have worked, collecting the fruit from the slimmest branches at the tops of the trees. Small communities of shacks - making the houses in the Seam look upscale - sprang up here and there, but they were all deserted. Every hand must have been needed for the harvest.

On and on it went. I couldn't believe the size of District 11. "How many people do you think live here?" Cato asked.

"A lot."

In school they referred to it as a large District, that was all. No actual figures on the population. But those kids we saw on camera waiting for the Reaping each year, they couldn't be but a sampling of the ones who actually lived here. This place was huge. What did they do to keep the crowds down? Have preliminary drawings? Pick the winners ahead of time and make sure that they were in the crowd? How exactly did Rue end up on that stage with nothing but the wind offering to take her place?

I began to get weary of the vastness, the endlessness of that place. When Effie came to tell us to dress, I didn't object. Not now. Not with everything that was happening. I went to my compartment and let the Prep Team do my hair and makeup. Cinna came in with the pretty blue dress that I picked this morning. I was grateful that he hadn't changed it. As he brought it over to me and I dressed, I couldn't help but to think about how much Cato would like the color.

Effie got Cato and me together and went through the day's program one last time. In some Districts the Victors rode through the city while the residents cheer. But in District 11 - maybe because there wasn't much of a city to begin with, things being so spread out, or maybe because they didn't want to waste so many people while the harvest was on - the public appearance was confined to the square. It took place before their Justice Building, a huge marble structure. Once it must have been a thing of beauty but time had taken its toll. Even on television you could see ivy overtaking the crumbling facade and the sag of the roof.

The square itself was ringed with run-down storefronts, most of which were abandoned. Wherever the well-to-do lived in District 11, it wasn't not here. Our entire public performance would be staged outside on what Effie referred to as the verandah, the tiled expanse between the front doors and the stairs that was shaded by a roof supported by columns. Cato and I would be introduced, the mayor of District 11 would read a speech in our honor, and we would respond with a scripted thank-you provided by the Capitol.

If a Victor had any special allies among the dead Tributes it was considered good form to add a few personal comments too. I knew that I should say something about Rue and Thresh, but every time I tried to write it at home I ended up with a blank paper staring me in the face. It was hard for me to talk about them without getting emotional. Fortunately, Cato had a little something worked up, and with some slight alterations, it could count for both of us. At the end of the ceremony, we would be presented with some sort of plaque and then we could withdraw to the Justice Building where a special dinner would be served.

As the train was pulling into the District 11 station, Cinna put the finishing touches on my outfit, switching my orange hairband for one of metallic gold and securing the Mockingjay pin I wore in the arena to my dress. There was no welcoming committee on the platform, just a squad of eight Peacekeepers who directed us into the back of an armored truck. Effie sniffed as the door clanked closed behind us.

"Really, you'd think we were all criminals," she said.

 _Not all of us, Effie. Just me_. But I didn't dare say that out loud.

"Hey, are you alright?" Cato asked. I turned back to him. He had a black shirt on with matching pants and shoes. He looked like he was going to a funeral. I supposed that it suited the occasion. "I know that you were dreading this."

A sudden burst of anger shot through me. "What do you think?" I hissed. Instead of looking angry, he seemed to be sadder than anything else. "These are the two Tributes that meant the most to me besides you and Peeta. I was close to the both of them and I would have saved them if I could have."

"I know, Aspen."

We waited in the truck for a few moments before Brutus and Enobaria joined us. "Look who are bright-eyed and bushy-tailed this morning. I guess you tired yourselves out last night," Brutus joked with a glimmer in his eyes. I rolled my own. "Come on, you two, forget your sense of humor in the arena?"

Slapping him lightly over the back of his head, Enobaria glared at the older man and shrugged off his angry shout. "Shut it, Brutus. Were you the happiest camper when it came to your Victory Tour?" We all snorted when he remained silent. "I didn't think so. The Careers probably have the most fun on this thing but even they feel the slightest bit of guilt when they face the family of the Tributes that they killed."

"Yeah," Cato muttered.

"Especially if they were proud of that kill. But, hey, you should be proud. You fought like hell. The both of you," she said.

That time we both snorted at her words. Cato shook his head at her. "Charming words of wisdom. But I'm not sure how much I really enjoyed any of my kills," Cato said.

I turned to him in surprise. He hadn't enjoyed even one of them? "What?" I asked.

"Not when they keep me up all night. And you do know that I killed one of them, right?" he said.

I whipped my head around to face him. "Sometimes I forget that you're the one that killed Thresh," I muttered.

"Sorry," Cato said softly, when he saw the look on my face.

I shook my head at him and turned my attention to my Mentor. "It's fine. Haymitch, I meant to ask you something last night," I said.

"What?" Haymitch asked.

"Are we stopping at District 2 normally?" I asked.

"Yes. We're treating it as a little more of a celebration. The real celebration will be in District 12 after we tour the Capitol. You'll head back there and spend the day celebrating with the people. Afterwards Cato will head back to District 2 until the Quarter Quell," Haymitch said.

"Wonderful," Cato groaned.

Almost everyone smiled. Brutus scoffed. We were led out of the truck and I prepared myself to squint at the harsh sunlight. But it surprised me when I saw that there was nothing. I had thought that with Rue being from this District it had to be sunny and happy. Although with her gone, I supposed that it made sense. It should be dark and dreary. As we walked I realized that every single space of District 11 was full of Peacekeepers. You couldn't stand in one spot without seeing the next. And all around us were armored tanks. It was like the Capitol was gearing up for war. Maybe it was.

President Snow had told me that there were rumors of rebellion. But had I really sparked those? Just with what I had done. I knew that I could ask Seneca Crane - as he would know and would likely tell me - but I didn't want to think about what I would have to do to get that knowledge. _Secrets_ , Finnick's voice whispered. If I was braver I would just get it over with and find out what was happening around Panem. Effie scoffed next to me as we came through the back of the Justice Building. Every District had them but some were nicer than others. District 11 was just slightly nicer.

"Well I never. This is not very festive," Effie complained.

I rolled my eyes. They had lost two children. Why would they want to be festive? "It's the Victory Tour and both of their Tributes are dead. What do they have to celebrate?" I snapped.

"The Victory Tour, Aspen," Effie said, exasperated.

"Whatever," I snapped.

"The mayor will make some introductory remarks and then you just have to say a few words. It's customary of course to bring brief eulogy to the fallen Tributes." Like we hadn't already been trying to do that. "For eleven that's... Thresh and Rue," she told us.

I growled lowly at her. She had nearly forgotten their names. The only reason she remembered was her paper. It showed how truly Capitol she was. "You know that I was allied with one of them and the other one saved my life?" I asked irritably.

"Of course. It was very brave of them both. Now we honor them."

"By having them throw us a party," I sneered.

"Here are the speeches," Effie said, handing both Cato and I over the cards that we were supposed to read.

Clearly they didn't want us writing anything ourselves. They didn't know what we could do on our own. They wanted us to fix things. Whatever we would write definitely wouldn't help things. We would likely make them even worse. Glancing down at them I shook my head and shoved them into the small pocket on the side of my dress. The entire card was us thanking the Capitol and commending Rue and Thresh on what brave warriors they had been. It was nothing about what good people they were.

"I can do the talking if you want," Cato offered.

"Thank you," I whispered.

He nodded at me. I looked up at him and gave him a small smile. He knew how nervous that this District made me and I was glad to see that he cared enough to take over what I was supposed to do. I couldn't imagine what I would do if I had won alone. Probably freak out and cry up there in front of everyone. The doors opened and we were allowed to look out. But we hadn't been pushed out onto the stage yet. The Mayor of District 11 made his way past us and onto the stage and I looked out into the crowd. They all looked exactly like Thresh and Rue. It was almost eerie. Like looking at ghosts.

"Ladies and gentlemen. The Victors of the Seventy-Fourth Annual Hunger Games. Aspen Antaeus and Cato Hadley," he announced, moving aside so that we could come onto the stage.

My mind froze for a moment and my body followed. I stood ramrod still at the front of the Justice Building and I had to be pushed out of the door of the building by Effie. Cato grabbed me afterwards and pulled me with him. "Smile. Smile. Smile. Stand up straight. You're on camera," Effie called behind us.

On any other day I would have rolled my eyes. But I couldn't. Not with their families watching. My eyes focused onto the crowd and I watched as they clapped politely. Though it was completely out of fear for what would happen if they didn't. I looked up and saw that at the back of the crowd Rue and Thresh's pictures were being displayed above where their families stood and my throat tightened. Rue had her mother and her siblings on the stage, tightly clung around each other. Thresh had his grandmother and sister, both looking sad and angry.

The crowd silenced and I watched as Cato moved past me and stood in front of the microphone. "Thank you. We're honored to be with you here today. And to be with the families of your fallen Tributes. Though they fought..." he began but eventually trailed off.

I looked at him and raised my eyebrow as he tore the cards and let the pieces fall to the stage. What the hell was he doing? "Cato," I whispered.

"Why do I bother? Every night I see Thresh in my dreams. I see what I did to him. And I find that I am ashamed that I could have done something like that," he said. I felt a twinge of pain. I didn't know that his actions had affected him that much. "I justify it by saying that I had to do it to live, but that isn't it. It is the cruelty that the Academy drills into us from a young age. I realized that it was wrong too late. There is nothing that I could say or do to bring them back. For that I am truly sorry. But I would like to try and take some of the pain away." I raised my eyebrows at him again. What was he getting at? "For every Tribute that lost their lives in the Games, we would like to donate one month of our winnings to their families every year. For the rest of our lives."

His entire speech had gone without him wavering once. The crowd couldn't help but respond with gasps and murmurs. There was no precedent for what Cato had done. I didn't even know if it was legal. He probably didn't know either, so he didn't ask in case it wasn't. As for the families, they just stared at us in shock. Their lives were changed forever when Thresh and Rue were lost, but this gift would change them again. A month of Tribute winnings could easily provide for a family for a year. As long as we lived, they would not hunger. We were presented with large plaques and bouquets and now I noticed that the applause was real.

Cato turned from the microphone and grabbed my hand but I forced him to stop. "Wait. I have something to say too," I told him.

He shook his head, trying to let me know that I didn't have to say anything out there. "Aspen you don't need to say anything. I think that I just about covered it out there," he said.

He was right. He had covered the basics out there. But there was still something that I wanted to say. Something that I felt needed to be said. "I have to," I muttered.

"Look, they might already be angry with what I did. Maybe we should just call it a day," he said, trying to pull me back to the Justice Building with him again.

Just like before, I pulled away from him and shook my head. "Let me rephrase that. I have to talk to them," I said before stepping up to the microphone.

"You'll do wonderfully," Cato said.

"I - I just wanted to say something really fast," I stuttered nervously. I took a deep breath, knowing that I had to get this out. "I knew both of your Tributes. On the first day of training I couldn't do anything right. I just wanted to give up and let someone kill me in the Bloodbath. It would have made everything easier. But Thresh talked to me and told me that I was better than that. He consoled me multiple times before the Games started and during them he even saved my life. I will never know how to repay that. But he was a wonderful man and a huge loss. I'm so sorry."

For a brief moment I flashed back to the dance that Thresh and I had shared and I sighed. He would have made someone a good husband one day. "Rue, I knew even better. She reminded me of everything that I wished that I could be. She was everything that could be good about a person. She was - and always will be - my friend. Not a day goes by that there isn't something that I would want to tell her," I said, my voice beginning to crack. "I see her everywhere. I see her in the flowers that grow in the meadow by my house. I hear her in the Mockingjay song. She didn't deserve what she got. I would have died for her but I couldn't save her. And I'm sorry."

By now I was fighting back tears. I made my way back to the Justice Building and sighed when Cato's hand wrapped around me. He knew that I was weak right now and needed a break. Before we could be ushered back into the building I heard something. A whistle. The same whistle that Rue and I had used to find each other. The man that had whistled it stood out in the crowd and I stared at him. He held up the three fingered salute that I had given the camera when Rue died and my breath hitched in my throat. The silence was overwhelming and I jumped slightly as the man was approached rapidly by Peacekeepers.

The crowd began to shout loudly as the man was dragged out of the middle of them and onto the stage. In the chaos I broke away from Cato and tried to run to the man that was being brought on stage. He was brought down onto his hands and knees and I cried out loudly. Haymitch managed to grab me on the arm but as he tried to drag me out of the shit storm on stage, I was knocked down by a Peacekeeper. I managed to land next to the man and I saw that he had a strangely calm look on his face.

I tried to grab onto the man and help him back to his feet but I was cut off by a Peacekeeper stepping next to me and holding a gun up to the side of the man's head. I began to panic and tried to pull the gun away from the Peacekeeper but I was only thrust away. Still though the man remained calm. Just as I heard the gun click, I panicked and grabbed the arm of the Peacekeeper. Haymitch and everyone else on my team was shouting at me to get away from him.

"No! No! Leave him alone! He's done nothing, please!" I shrieked.

He eventually dropped the gun to his side and I sighed. This would work. "Aspen! Get over here!" Haymitch shouted

"It was my fault I shouldn't have said anything. Please let him go. Punish me, not him," I said quietly, as the crowd shushed.

Although I couldn't see the man's face through his mask I knew that he was giving me a small smile. I sighed as he brought the gun back down to his side but jumped when he grabbed my face. I had told him to punish me, not the man. This was what I had asked for. Everyone on my team was now howling for them to release me so that I could come back. But instead of shooting me, the Peacekeeper only said two words.

"I am."

Everything that happened after that was a blur. The man that's life I had begged for fell to the ground limply and I chirped weakly. I felt goo on my face and I nearly threw up. It was from the man. They had shot him in front of me and I had his blood on me. There were loud screams from all around me and I had a feeling that I might have been one of the people that was screaming. But I couldn't tell. All I knew was that my head was spinning.

My legs gave out under me and I began to fall to the ground. Just before I could fall all the way, a man caught me and dragged me back into the Justice Building. I tried to get away to stop the reigning chaos - as I heard another two shots go off - but I was too late. The doors closed and I heard the muffled shouts of everyone inside and outside of the building. I tried to listen to what people were saying but everything was distorted. It felt like after I had blown the Careers supplies up. Haymitch walked over to me and grabbed my arm roughly.

"You two have a very simple task," Haymitch hissed.

That I had heard perfectly. "They killed him... they killed him," I whispered desperately.

Cato was still supporting me slightly and I ripped myself away, surprising him. I had just ruined things. "Get away from the doors," Haymitch ordered.

"I never meant for anyone to get killed, he has to know that," I frantically said as I paced through the room. "I didn't know that anything would happen I just wanted them to know that it was killing me that I couldn't save her!"

No one understood what I was saying. No one knew about what President Snow had said to me. Still determined to get to me, Cato walked over and pulled his shirt off. He used it to wipe my face and chest clean and I gave a soft sob. That was an innocent man's blood on my hands. Just another stupid person that I had gotten killed. How did this keep happening to me? All I'd wanted was to get out of the Games and go back home for good.

"Come here. Let me get some of this," Cato said softly as he gently wiped me off. Everyone was standing by me and the outside had gone completely silent. I couldn't help but to wonder what had happened. "Here, feel better?"

"No."

"Hey, calm down. Talk to us. What are you talking about, he has to know what? Who has to know what?" Cato asked.

I shook my head and gave a soft heave, trying to force myself to tell that what had happened. Taking in a few more deep breaths, I finally calmed myself enough to tell them what had happened not even twenty-four hours ago. I couldn't believe that I'd already managed to screw everything up.

"President Snow he came to see me not even an hour before everyone got to my house. It was right after I came to see you," I told Haymitch. He raised his eyebrow. "He's worried about the rebellion in the Districts. For whatever reason he thinks they don't believe our love story. He was telling me that I had to make everyone believe that we really do love each other. He wants us to make him believe."

He scoffed slightly and moved over towards me. "I would have thought that he believed us just fine. I would have thought that that was the reason that they had let us live," Cato said.

He was so wrong. They had only done that because they had panicked. I had pushed them into a corner. "No. They did it because they didn't know what else to do. They did it because the Capitol people loved us," I said.

"So he wants you to make them believe?" Cato asked.

I rested my hip gently on his leg. He ran a finger through my hair. I knew that today would be hard but I hadn't expected it to be this hard. "To calm things down. I guess to stop any potential rebellion from happening," I told everyone. The group nodded at me, everyone seemingly off in their own minds. "Apparently things have gotten bad since we won the last Games. So bad that he is threatening everyone."

The group was silent for a moment before Enobaria scoffed and I whipped around to her. If anyone was going to laugh I would have thought that it was going to be Brutus. "Please, he always throws threats around left and right. Get in line, sweetheart," she said.

I balled my fists gently. She had no idea the hell that I had been through, not all of it. "He's serious," I said.

"If he hasn't threatened to kill your family, you're doing something wrong," Enobaria said with a flippant attitude.

My anger getting the best of me, I snapped. "The only thing is, is that he will actually go through with it!" I yelled loudly, getting grabbed and pulled back by Cato. I wasn't going to hit her. I was just upset. "I've already lost both of my parents to the Capitol. I refuse to lose everyone else that I care about."

For just a brief moment I glanced over at Cato quickly. He seemed to be lost in thought and I didn't blame him. He hadn't known how angry President Snow really was with us. Maybe I should have told him so that he would know not to go out there and make things worse. Which we had likely just done. For a little while, Cato was silent. But after he seemed to process everything he looked at me and I could tell that he was angry. He had that look.

"You know, Aspen, you should've told me that before I went out there and tried to give these people our money," he said.

He was right. I should have told him to just read the cards. That man wouldn't be dead had I done that. " I know," I said softly.

"That probably didn't help settle anything. I probably made it worse," he said, panicking internally. Not that I blamed him.

I walked up to him and put my arm on his shoulder. I wanted to console him but I wasn't really sure what to say without making things worse. "I'm sorry. I didn't know what to do. He has told me multiple times before that I have to keep quiet. I thought that telling people might make things worse for me. For you too," I said, trying to justify my actions. I needed to make things right. "You know what he does to you. He threatened to kill my family."

Cato jumped up from his slightly bent over face and glared at me with a look that I had hoped that I would never see again. "Well I have family too!" he shouted. I jumped back from him as Haymitch took an almost protective stance in front of me. I knew that he wouldn't hurt me but I knew how strong he was too. People were capable of doing bad things when they were angry. Even to the people that they love. "Okay people that I need to protect. You aren't the only one here who has something to lose. We all do."

He was motioning around to all of us. Opening my mouth to apologize for not thinking about him, I was cut off by Haymitch. "Hey, the two arguing about stupid shit," he said, motioning us both over to him. I rolled my eyes but played along, walking over to the opaque glass doors. "Look over here. What about them? Who protects them?" He was pointing out to the thinning group of District 11 residents. "Certainly not the two of you. You're busy over here thinking that you're the only ones who get any of the backlash from this. Not the innocent people who are being slaughtered because they care about you."

My heart sank into my stomach. "I didn't think anyone would get hurt because of us. I thought that they would only be threatening us," I said softly.

"Aspen, what were you thinking out there?" Haymitch asked.

I could tell that he was completely exasperated with me but I was to the point of wanting to roll over and give up too. "I was thinking about Rue. And Thresh too. They deserved something more than a shitty card that sounds like we couldn't give less than a damn about them," I hissed, noticing the hurt look that crossed Effie's face. "Only about a fucking dinner!"

It was just now that I was remembering that District 11 had to put on some victory dinner for us. Was it even still happening? "Manners!" Effie shouted.

I turned to her with a nasty glare. Screw manners, how about human decency? Not that the Capitol or anyone who lived in it had any idea what any of that meant. They only knew how amazing and helpful their precious Games are. Finally my anger dissipated and it turned into pure fear. It was weakness. I had been strong for too long.

"Haymitch, please, please just help me get through this trip. Please just help me through this," I begged him, wanting to know that he would ensure that I made it through this trip with the little sanity that I had left intact. "I will read the cards, I'll pretend to do whatever it is that President Snow wants, but I need help. I can't do this."

It seemed that I had finally broke something in Haymitch as he stomped up and nearly throttled me. "This trip, girl, wake up! You are one of the most intelligent people that I've ever met. Even though you don't act like it," he said. I went to snap at him but before I could he continued on his rant. "How could you think that this is almost over? This trip doesn't end when you get back home. You never get off this train. You said that once yourself. Remember that?" I weakly nodded. "You two are Mentors now. That means that every year they're gonna drag you out and broadcast the details of your romance. Every year your private life becomes theirs. From now on your job is to be a distraction so people forget what the real problems are."

Weakly I nodded at him and let Cato pull me into him. We were standing side by side but we weren't really touching. I was pretty sure that they both of us had had enough of people for one day. All I wanted was to take a shower and sleep through the rest of this tour. I didn't want to have to see anyone else.

"Okay, fine, I get it. So what do we do?" I asked my Mentor.

He pushed me into another room. We were being sent even further back into the Justice Building. "You're gonna smile. You're gonna read the cards that Effie gave you, and not complain, and you're gonna live happily ever after. Think you can do that? Huh?" Haymitch asked us.

"Yes," Cato said.

"Mm-hmm," I muttered.

As we walked I looked down at my shoes and noticed that they were covered in blood. Not my blood. The man that had been killed because of me. His blood. Just one more person that I could say was dead because of me. My entire body was shaking. I couldn't believe what had just happened. I wanted to leave. I wanted to go back to District 12. Cato seemed to notice where my thoughts were going as he grabbed my face and forced me to look at him.

"Hey, look at me. You're gonna be okay. We both are. I promise. I would die for you. You know that," Cato said.

"Don't. Please don't."

"I don't intend to. As long as I'm here, nothing bad will ever happen to you."

Despite everything that was happening I gave Cato a weak smile. Because I knew that he was telling the truth. Because I knew that, no matter what President Snow thought. Cato genuinely was in love with me and it went both ways. Cato was bold and brash and had a damn mouth on him, but he was other things too. He was sweet and had a heart bigger than anyone that I had ever known. It was just buried deep down inside of him.

"Haymitch, where are we going?" I asked my Mentor.

"To the feast," Haymitch answered.

"After everything?" Cato asked.

"We go on like normal. It will get broadcasted to the Districts. Not what happened up on that stage. Not even the amendments to the speeches. We have to pretend that nothing happened," Haymitch said.

"Okay," I whispered.

"Smile and nod and say nothing more than what's expected," Haymitch instructed.

So we did just that. If there was one thing that was certain, it was that I had learned one thing today. This place was not a larger version of District 12. Our fence was unguarded and rarely charged. Our Peacekeepers were unwelcome but less brutal. Our hardships evoked more fatigue than fury. Here in District 11, they suffered more acutely and felt more desperation. President Snow was right. A spark could be enough to set them ablaze.

Everything was happening too fast for me to process it. The warning, the shootings, the recognition that I might have set something of great consequence in motion. The whole thing was so improbable. And it would be one thing if I had planned to stir things up, but given the circumstances... how on earth did I cause so much trouble? All I'd wanted to do was win the Games and get home.

"Come on. We've got a dinner to attend," Haymitch said.

I stood in the shower as long as they let me before I had to come out to be readied. The Prep Team was oblivious to the events of the day. They were all excited about the dinner. In the Districts they were important enough to attend, whereas back in the Capitol they almost never scored invitations to prestigious parties. While they tried to predict what dishes would be served, I kept seeing the old man's head being blown off. I didn't even pay attention to what anyone was doing to me until I was about to leave and spotted myself in the mirror. A pale pink strapless dress brushed my shoes. My hair was pinned back from my face and falling down my back in a shower of ringlets.

Cinna came up behind me and arranged a shimmering silver wrap around my shoulders. He caught my eye in the mirror. "Like it?" he asked.

"It's beautiful. As always," I said.

"Let's see how it looks with a smile," he said gently. It was his reminder that in a minute there would be cameras again. I managed to raise the corners of my lips. "There we go."

The second that the doors opened Cato and I were smiling brightly and leaning on each other. We were solemn and respectful but always linked together, by our hands or our arms. At the dinner we were borderline delirious in our love for each other. I could tell that even Cato was getting sick of it. I wanted to speak to Rue and Thresh's families but we were too focused on convincing President Snow that we were more in love than anyone else that he'd ever met. We kissed, we danced, and we got caught trying to sneak away to be alone.

Finally we were allowed to leave. I was thrilled to be getting out of District 11. I just wanted to get on the train. By now I was actually looking forward to getting to District 10. Anything would be better than this. Without saying another word to anyone else on the train, I headed towards the hallway with the bedrooms and sighed as my door slid open. For once I was glad to be here. Before I got completely into the room I heard footsteps behind me. Cato. I knew the way that he walked.

"Do you want me to come in with you tonight?" he asked.

I found myself shaking my head. Part of me wanted him here but part of me wanted to be alone. He nodded at me with a slightly dejected face but gave me a small smile anyways. "I just need to be alone for a while," I said weakly.

"Alright, I'll see you in the morning," he said.

"Cato? I love you. I do," I said.

"I know. I love you too. We'll be okay," Cato said, pressing a kiss on my forehead before disappearing down the hall.

The doors to my room slid shut with a hiss and I sighed. Quickly I let my dress fall to the floor and pulled my shoes off. They went directly into the trash and I yawned. Today had been a long day and I was ready for it to be over. After a quick shower avoiding looking at the red tiles I stepped out and jumped over the drying pad. For once I was in the mood to air dry. I slipped on one of the fluffy white robes and settled into the bed. It was harder than I remembered. I sighed and rolled onto my side, telling myself that the rest of the Victory Tour would be easy. Nothing could get worse than this. How wrong I was.

The next morning I had woken up confident that District 10 would be easy. I hadn't killed either of their Tributes and Cato hadn't either. Still I knew it wouldn't be easy. These were still people who had lost their children. I got up and dressed myself quickly. A simple purple shirt that flowed and a pair of white jeans. Something to not draw attention to myself. Maybe the blue dress had been too much. Without a word I walked into the living room and joined everyone for a silent breakfast. It was awkward but I knew that it was better than everyone yelling at each other. After yesterday people didn't have much to say to each other.

We had arrived in District 10 straight after breakfast. I had been the last one out of the train and I had taken my time to look around the District. It was the District for livestock and it lived up to its name. There were cattle everywhere and the place smelled like dung. As Effie had said, District 12 smelled like roses compared. Needless to say that had made me blanch. Cato and I had decided that I should be the one to talk and I had thought that I had learned the cards well enough as I automatically recited them.

"Cato and I want to share with you our victory. And our gratitude to the Capitol for bringing us together. It was the bond of love forged in the principle of the Games is our greatest price. Forged us love and true love that allows us all to marry our hardships. That mends the heart and vanish the loneliness and gives meaning to our lives. We also want to share with you our sorry for your losses. The tributes of this... The tributes of this District will reign as loyal warriors through our honor to their families and prayer to their people. We are all of us united both Victors and vanquished and serving a new common purpose. The power and glory of the Capitol. Panem today. Panem tomorrow. Panem forever. Thank you," I had said, a fake grin plastered on my face.

We had been about to turn off the stage and head to the feast that they had prepared for us, but one man had been sure to stop that. "Tell us how you really feel!"

Just the one man in the audience had yelled out to us and I had looked straight at him. But others quickly joined. "You don't really love us!"

"You don't care that our people are dead!"

"All you care is that the two of you made it out of there."

"What about those two?"

"Did you even know their names?" someone asked as they pointed back to the families of the fallen Tributes.

It had affected me that he was right. I had no idea what their names were. I had no idea what most of the fallen Tributes names were. "Ignore him. He's angry that his Tributes didn't survive," Haymitch had told me, when he saw that I was contemplating what the man had yelled out. "There's always at least one person that does something like that. Come on, the feast is soon and you have to meet their families."

Just like before I nodded blankly. That wasn't something that I had looked forward to. Nothing was what I had looked forward to. I just wanted to be home. It was the same thing that I'd said to myself every night. I just wanted to be back home. I wanted to forget about all of this. As we walked I let Haymitch take the lead and I fell into step with Cato. He grabbed my hand like nothing had happened the night before and I sighed. He was too good for me.

"You know, that man is right. I have no idea what their names even are. I don't remember what they look like, I don't think that I ever even heard them speak," I admitted, showing just how little I cared for most of the Tributes. They were just numbers.

"Don't do that to yourself," Cato said.

"They're all right. I don't care that they aren't here. They were some of the Tributes that I couldn't have cared less about. But that's cruel. Why should some Tributes be more important than others?" I asked Cato.

The look on his face had told me that he wanted to slap me but he had remained calm and shaken his head at me. "Stop that. You know what these people are trying to do. They're only trying to make you feel bad but they have no right to do that. You wanted to live as much as they did," he said.

"It doesn't make a difference."

"Had you not have been such a big Tribute, they wouldn't have known your name either."

"Really?" I asked.

"That's why I knew yours. You have nothing to be ashamed of," Cato told me.

He was right. Had there not been the whole ordeal with Cato or Cinna not been my Stylist I wouldn't have been much of a big deal at all. Until I had gotten that twelve in training though. But it was everything that I had done that had made me such a big deal in the Games. There were always the Tributes that made less of an impact. I was just one of the lucky ones that had managed to make my name mean something. It made me more appealing during the Games and got me more Sponsors.

We had gone straight to the banquet hall that looked like it hadn't been used in forever after that. We weren't there long, not even an hour really. Her family had been in tears and looked like they hadn't slept since the Games. I didn't blame them. His family had stood in the corner and barely said a word other than the small congratulations that was expected from them. After a silent goodbye we were escorted back to the train and I sighed once we got on. A quick shower later I had found Cato in my room. He had said nothing and neither had I. We had just laid down and gone to bed silently. Nothing had happened and nothing was said. It was one of the most peaceful nights that I could remember.

Part of me had thought that things would get better after District 10 but I had been wrong. Things had only gotten worse. District 9 had been just as much of a nightmare. That morning I had weakly crawled out of bed and put on the first thing that had stood out to me. A long sleeved black button down and a pair of white slacks. It was extremely boring but it was the only thing that I felt like I could wear right now. I wasn't much in the mood for bright colors and cheerful tidings. Thankfully no one on my team had argued as they saw that I was slowly getting more sickly.

I had made my way out into the living room and greeted Cato. He seemed to be completely nonchalant about the whole visit to the District and I remembered wishing that I could block out the memories the same way that he was able to. District 9 was extremely pretty as we came up to see it. The District was full of grain and wheat fields that were completely empty. I assumed that on most days they were full with the workers. People that would carefully care and tend to the fields like they were their children. That was safer. These fields didn't stand the chance of being sent to their deaths.

As the train slowed to a crawl pulling into the station, Brutus and Enobaria both emerged from their rooms and came to stand with us. Haymitch gave me a small nod and I took a deep breath. I had killed one of their Tributes. I was sure that they weren't too happy to see me at the moment. She had been my first kill of the Games and I hadn't exactly made it fast. I had left before she had actually died but I had known that there was no saving her. She had choked to death on her own blood. It wasn't fast and by no means was it painless.

It had disturbed me for the first few days of the Games. But eventually I had forgotten about her and went on to happily - not really, but that's what they thought - fall in love with Cato and get out of the Games. They didn't know that I hated myself for killing her. The train whistle blew softly and I knew that we had arrived at the station. Cato placed his hand softly on my back and led me to the window where the crowd seemed to be anything but calm. The doors slid open to the train and I took a deep breath. The District was screaming at us, but they weren't cheers.

"You killed her!" was the first shout that I had heard.

My feet froze, leaving me shocked in my place at the doors. "I can't do this," I muttered.

"She did nothing to you!"

"You could have gotten away from her and she would still be alive!"

Each one of them screamed and cried about what I had done and how I had hurt her. Each time was a little worse than the previous one. I remembered that the girl had been the one to tackle me. Her death had been her own fault. She had made me fight her. I had just wanted to get away. But I didn't dare say that.

"You said that you wouldn't kill her but you did!"

"You hypocrite!"

"How dare you come here?" they screamed.

Despite the fact that I knew that they were wrong about me being at fault I was still nervous. My legs buckled under me slightly and I shook my head. I couldn't do this, I needed to get out of here. "I - I can't do this," I stuttered, glancing over to Haymitch who was watching me with a nervous look.

"Keep it together," Haymitch muttered.

"I need to get out of here. Haymitch, this isn't going to go well for anyone. Please. Can't we just bypass this District?" I asked.

He had a pained look on his face. "No. It's customary to go in and give your condolences to the fallen Tributes," Haymitch said.

"I'm trying to pacify President Snow. This isn't what he wants. We're only riling people up," I said, discreetly motioning to the crowd.

To my shock Brutus moved forwards and nodded at me. "I actually agree with her," he said. Every head in the room turned to him in shock. "And you know that if I'm agreeing with her, things are bad. Haymitch, she's right. These people want to kill her for what she did to their girl. Maybe we should just claim that she's sick or something."

"It's basically the truth," I said.

Anything to keep me from getting up there and having to talk. "We can't. It'll look worse," Haymitch said.

"Cato could talk for the both of them. You good with that?" Brutus asked.

Cato nodded and let a hand fall over my waist. "If it keeps her from having to go out there, sure," he said.

"Thank you," I whispered.

In all honestly I knew that he didn't really want to talk either. But it meant the world to me that he was willing to go out there alone and talk without me just to save me the humiliation of crying or something out there. Haymitch was clearly torn. He wanted to let me off the hook on this District but I knew that it also was a big risk. We might pacify the District if I didn't show my face but Snow would be infuriated if I decided not to at least try.

"It isn't a bad idea but President Snow will think that it's even worse if we choose not to send her out there. Trust me, Aspen, I wish that you didn't have to go out there but I can't do anything about it. We have to do this," Haymitch said.

I would have done anything to get out of having to go out on that stage but I had known from the beginning that there was no backing out. I would have to just suck it up and do this anyways. I would ignore the yells from the crowd and I would count down from two hundred in my head. That was as long as it would take to get on and off of the stage.

"You're sure you're gonna be okay?" Enobaria asked.

"I don't really have a choice. It's okay, Haymitch. I'll be fine. I just have to read the cards and get the hell out of there, right?" I asked him.

"Right. You'll be on and off of the stage in three minutes," Haymitch said.

"Good. And the dinner will be quick. I'll be fine," I said, taking deep breaths.

But it was very obvious that I was convincing next to no one with my words. I looked around and it seemed like not everyone was as convinced as I was. They all looked like they weren't quite sure that I was going to be able to make it out on that stage. I wasn't even sure if I would be able to make it out on that stage. Cato shook his head and moved to stand in front of me.

"Aspen, you don't have to -" he started.

I held my hand up to Cato and rolled my eyes. I wasn't this weak creature that they all thought that I was. "Cato, I'm fine. Look, I killed their Tribute. They have every right to hate me. I would hate me too if I were in their shoes," I said softly.

The pain shot through his eyes. "We can figure something out," he said.

"No, we can't." He felt the exact same way when it came to some of the Tributes that he had killed. He had tortured some of them. "I didn't even give her a short death. I stabbed her in the throat and she choked on her blood. I should have ended her pain right there but I panicked and let her suffer. I had this coming," I said with a sad sigh, fighting back tears.

Enobaria walked up to me and laid a hand on my shoulder. I looked up at her. Despite the fact that she still unnerved me I was starting to like her. "Look, kid. I know that you think that you deserve this punishment. I got news for you. You don't. You only did any of those things because the Capitol pushed your hand. They have nothing to be angry with you for," she said with the roll of her eyes.

Odd words from such an enthusiastic Victor. Of course, that might just be the Capitol talking. "Thanks, Enobaria," I said.

"You're welcome. If they want to take their anger out, it should be on the one person who's really hurt them," she said, sending a glare towards the Capitol.

Haymitch shook his head and moved to push Enobaria and Brutus back behind us. "This is the wrong place to talk about this," Haymitch said. We all nodded. He was right. We could get shot for just thinking some of these things. "Come on, let's just get the two of you out on the stage. You have eight more Districts after this. They'll go by fast. I promise. Just get through today."

"I can do it," I muttered, mostly to myself.

Cato and I walked to stand in front of the doors. Before I could get to the door Effie grabbed my arm and I turned back to her with my head cocked at her. "Her name was Corra," she said.

I let my head fall to the side. What the hell was she talking about? "What are you -"

Just as I was about to ask her what she was talking about I realized that she meant the girl that I had killed. My heart dropped and I nodded at her to continue. "She was seventeen with a job in the wheat fields. She had no significant other but she did have a family. Two older brothers and both parents. Just thought that you might like to know," Effie said.

It was the most serious that I had heard her on the entire tour. Maybe she knew just how awful this was for me. Maybe she knew just how much I hated this. Now I at least knew who I was apologizing for. Her name was Corra. That was a pretty name. I had never heard anyone with a name like that. It sounded almost Capitol-like. She at least didn't have someone that wanted to marry. I didn't kill a potential family. But I did take away a sister and daughter.

"Thank you, Effie," I said softly.

The woman nodded to me before letting me pass to walk out onto the stage where the mayor was welcoming us. My stomach was churning painfully as Cato grabbed my hand and kept me planted right against his hip. The man that stood on the stage seemed to be friendly and in his late thirties. He glared at me though and I took a deep breath. He seemed to hate me as much as the rest of the District did. He held his hands out motioning to Cato and I and I took a deep breath.

"Ladies and gentlemen of District 9. Please join me in welcoming the Victors of the Seventy-Fourth Hunger Games. From District 2, Cato Hadley. And from District 12, Aspen Antaeus," he said.

The crowds cheers were almost nonexistent and I took another deep breath. President Snow would be furious with me for not even trying to make it better. But what could I do? Nothing. This District would more than likely pass horrifying and go straight to embarrassing. I walked up to the microphone and stared out into the crowd. Just as I opened my mouth to recite the words that I had rehearsed a sharp pain went through my temple. I ducked down and let a small hiss escape my mouth. Damn it. A fucking rock had hit me. A rock? Someone hated me so much to throw a rock at me.

"Aspen!" Cato yelled out.

The crowd was roaring around us and I groaned slightly. I placed my hand on my head and sighed when I realized that I was bleeding. Damn. That person hit hard. "It's okay," I muttered.

"Are you alright?" Cato asked.

I nodded, moving to stand up straight. "Fine, just surprised," I said.

No doubt was it all being blurred out for the Capitol. No one wanted to see their favorite Victor get pegged in the face with a rock. I was almost grateful. The pain wasn't that bad. But the embarrassment went straight through to my core. Although I knew that I'd just made things even worse with President Snow. As I glanced out into the crowd to find who had thrown the rock I realized that it was easier than expected. A man in his mid-thirties stood at the front of the stage, pointing angrily at me.

"That's for my niece!" he yelled. My heart fell. I had killed her. "How dare you waltz up here and pretend like you've done nothing wrong! How dare you expect us to throw you a party and pretend like you've done us some favor?"

I watched, dumbfounded, as Peacekeepers grabbed him on the arms. They started to drag him up onto the stage and I was shot back to District 11. I knew how this would end. "Stop, please, stop!" I cried.

"You'll burn for what you've done," the man hissed at me, as he was brought onto the stage and thrown on his knees besides me.

Without thinking, I grabbed onto the Peacekeeper and tried to shove his gun away from the man. That rock had hurt but I didn't want one more person dead because of me. "No! Wait, leave him alone! Please! I deserved it, leave him be!" I screamed at the Peacekeeper, but it did nothing.

"Move away, Miss Antaeus."

"Please. I'm fine. It was only a little rock. He's right. He's just angry. You can't blame him. I don't deserve anything like this."

"Aspen!" Haymitch shouted.

"Leave him alone. His family has lost enough!" I yelled.

A hand wrapped around my waist and I cried out as I was dragged back into the Justice Building of District 9. "Get over here!" Haymitch yelled.

Obviously he was very fed up with me not knowing enough to just listen when I was instructed to do something. Desperately hoping that the man might live, I sunk into Haymitch's arms. For once he didn't do anything. He just let me lie there. I knew that nothing was working on my part. I sighed and watched as the doors were slammed shut and a shot rang out. We all jumped. Screams followed and then silence. With a raging look in his eyes, Haymitch released me, paced for a moment, and then stomped up to me and forced me to look at him.

"Look at this, things are only getting worse," he said.

"I know!"

"President Snow will be furious."

"I know."

"From now on, you say nothing. Only thank people and stand in the background," he sneered.

"Okay," I whispered.

I hadn't even said anything though and this had happened. "Let's get you ready for the feast. Just... say nothing. Don't even apologize to the families. Don't stand near each other, don't touch each other, just... don't do anything until we're back on the train," Haymitch instructed.

"Okay."

"We'll do whatever we need to," Cato said.

By the time that we made it to the feast I saw that it was the most depressing one that we had been to yet. Everyone was crying because another one of their family members had died. Also my fault. I sat in the corner the entire time and spoke to no one. I denied the food and mostly avoided Cato's gazes throughout the night. I ignored the water that was being passed my way and didn't dare even glance in the direction of the families. When we were finally allowed to leave I practically sprinted from Justice Building.

"What now?" I asked Haymitch softly.

"I guess we just move on to District 8 and forget that this ever happened. Take a deep breath," he said, his anger having dissipated from this afternoon. "You're okay."

A bitter laugh escaped my mouth. "I am _not_ okay," I said.

In all honesty I was so far from being okay that it wasn't even funny anymore. It was sickening. Every day I saw that my eyes were hollowing out a little more and my skin was getting almost paper thin. The lack of food and water was taking its toll. Cinna and the Prep Team were the only reason that I didn't look like a walking skeleton. We began to head out of the back of the Justice Building and I steeled my nerves as we walked through the streets. They were empty. I could tell that people were ushered home after the events at the Square.

"Look at me," Cato said on my right.

"What?" I asked curiously.

"You're alright. That guy was out of line but they had no right to shoot him. This wasn't your fault. He knew what would happen to him if he stood up to you. To the Peacekeepers," Cato said as we came up on the train.

I shook my head at him and let out a puff of air. "That doesn't make it not my fault," I said softly.

That was the last thing that I said before walking onto the train and into my room. I said nothing else that night and made it a point to ignore the knocks on my door when people came trying to get me to come out. But every time that they knocked, I stayed silent. The knocks eventually stopped and I settled into my bed. I knew that things weren't going to get any better the next day. District 8. Jason. If District 9 was bad, it was going to be nothing compared to District 8. The last thing that I remembered was seconds before falling asleep, Cato climbing into bed with me, without saying a word, not having bothered to knock.

The next morning we arrived in District 8 and I ate nothing. Cato tried to get me to eat but I ignored him. Most of me was too afraid to eat in the event that I would throw it up. I had searched through the drawers that morning and found a purple top that hung off of my shoulders along with a pair of light washed jeans. There were a pair of silver sandals on my feet and I stared at myself in the mirror. Instead of braiding my hair like I normally did I left it down. I wanted something to hide behind. Cinna had even helped me layer it partially over my face. A safety blanket, he'd called it. Just for today.

Walking out on unsteady legs I headed into the living room for the second time that morning and made my way to sit down next to Cato. I grabbed his hand and he stared at me with minor concern. "What is it?" Cato asked.

"I don't think that I can do this, Cato. You know what happened with Jason," I told him.

He nodded his head in understanding. "I know. But you can do it," he said.

"Just like yesterday?"

"They'll have learned."

"It doesn't matter. I can't look into his family's eyes and pretend that I was superior to him. All he wanted was to go home and I robbed him of that. I ripped out his vocal chords," I said, cringing at the memory. "It wasn't even a fast death."

The memories of his body twitching before it went completely still sent my blood curdling. I felt the pain of his knife going through my stomach and I shook my head. "He attacked you," Cato said.

"That's what I keep trying to tell myself but it doesn't help."

Cato gave my hand a tough squeeze and pulled me into him. "At least you didn't cut his head off or something like that," he tried to joke.

My eyebrows knitted in anger. "I did something worse," I snapped.

"Remember which one of us _actually_ killed him."

And he was right. Cato was the one to actually kill him. "You saved me... I almost forgot," I muttered.

"I didn't. It was very tiring, watching out for you," he teased.

I set a nasty glare on him. "Really?" I asked.

"I'm sorry. That wasn't funny. What he said in the arena was out of line. But you can't say that up there," he said.

"I know," I muttered.

He had told me that he would skin me and bring my carcass to Cato. Or that they would give it to Prim to hang above her bed. I shivered at the memory and nodded at Cato. "Just stay silent. I'll do all of the talking out there, okay?" Cato asked.

"I think that's what Haymitch wants. And I'll gladly take you up on that," I said.

"Good. The only thing that you will have to say when you're out there is that you're sorry for their loss. That's it."

Taking a small gulp of water I sat the glass back down and stood next to Cato. "I can do that," I said.

"I know you can."

We were silent for a moment longer when a thought ran through my head. "Thank you," I said.

"For what?" Cato asked.

"For everything that you've done."

"I haven't done anything."

"Don't sell yourself short. We aren't even halfway through the Victory Tour and I know that I've already put you through way more than you deserve. I'm sorry," I said, feeling honestly guilty for acting the way that I had been acting the past few days.

Cato laid his hand under my chin and pushed my head up to meet his. "Don't you ever apologize to me," Cato said sharply.

"Are you kidding? I have so much to apologize for," I said.

"You have nothing to apologize for other than the fact that you ruined their little Games."

"And look at what that did."

I had ruined everything. Who had known that two little knives would have sent my entire life into a downward spiral? "You are the best person that I know," Cato said.

"You must know some pretty lousy people," I teased.

Cato snorted under his breath. "I love you, Aspen," he said.

I smiled at him and gave his hand a small squeeze. "I love you too," I said.

Without giving myself a chance to back out of it, I let him lead me out of the room. We made our way out into the living room quickly and were immediately ushered to the Justice Building through the back doors and out onto the stage. The speech that Cato gave was the same one that we had given in the other Districts. I could tell that no one in the audience bought what we were saying but it didn't matter. They did nothing because they knew what would happen if they tried to stand up to us. To ask us to say something like what we had said in District 11.

As we stood on the stage I gave myself a moment to look out to Jason's family. It felt very strange to look out and see them. The people that had given birth to the boy that had tried so hard to kill me. My stomach was roiling around as I looked over them. They looked exactly like him. Each one of them was obviously related to him. His mother and father were standing on the stage, both looking at me like I was some rabid dog that needed to be put down. It made me legs quake in fear. He had a younger sister who was in tears and I felt the nerves catch in my throat. I had killed her brother.

It wasn't really even me. It was actually Cato. I could see that he was nervous. We hadn't even done it fast. I had made sure that he suffered. I'd almost gouged out his eyes. In fact I kind of had. It was horrible, what I had done to him. But I had almost died. I wouldn't even be here if it weren't for Cato. He had found me and made sure that I didn't suffocate to death. As much as I had hurt Jason at least I had ended his suffering. I was alive but it didn't mean that I wasn't suffering. I was suffering worse than any of these families were. And they had no idea. They thought that I loved this.

The speeches hadn't lasted long before we had been ushered to the party. My hands were shaking as Cato and I stood in the corner for a while. The two of us were together and respectfully nodding at everyone that passed, but otherwise exchanging small talk and fond kisses. Food was laid out all over the place and I found myself to be starving. But as hungry as I was, I ate nothing. Instead I sat in the corner of the room and watched Cato talk to Jason's family for a while. He walked up to them and shook their hands. I listened to the quick exchange.

"I'm extremely sorry for your loss. I can't imagine how hard it is for you to lose your son," he said. They both nodded, looking no less angry than they had when we were talking up on the stage. "One of my best friends lost her sister to the Games. I've seen what a toll it takes on people. My prayers are with you and your family. I hope that you find some solace in your lost son. I saw how hard that he fought. You should be proud."

The entire time he was nursing a small drink. "Thank you," all three of Jason's family members said.

None of them looked like they were the least bit thankful. Not that I blamed them. They looked like they wanted to go to bed and cry for the next decade. I let out a deep breath and grabbed a drink off of the wooden bar. I wasn't really sure what it was but it didn't really matter at this point. I just needed something to make sure that I could get through tonight and make it to District 7 without incident. For a while I just swirled the liquid around, unsure of what it was.

"I don't think I would have ever thought that he could suck up to people so well," Haymitch laughed as he took a seat next to me.

"You'd be surprised," I said.

Haymitch grabbed a drink similar to mine and downed it quickly. At least it wasn't poisonous. "He knows what he's doing. Maybe they teach that in the Academy too," he said.

They all thought that they would be Victors so it made sense that they would teach the kids how to be a proper Victor. "He's better than me," I said.

"We all knew that."

"Thanks for that."

"You're the least charming Victor in years," Haymitch said.

"The Capitol loves me."

"They love your love story. They think that you're funny when you're really being serious and sarcastic. And from time to time you know how to put on the charm."

"It's a wonder you're still single," I snapped.

"Good thing that you weren't the only person to win," Haymitch said.

That only made me glare at him. Giving him a small slap on the back, Haymitch laughed and I rolled my eyes at him. He was a nice guy but sometimes he could be a real asshole. "Thanks, Haymitch. I really appreciate that little vote of confidence. Glad that you think that I'd be just fine on my own," I hissed.

He shrugged his shoulders. "Anytime, kid," he said.

I stared at Cato with the family for a moment longer before guilt overtook me. He was doing so well on his own. I should be there too. I should at least tell the family that I was sorry. It was the least that I could do for them. I knew that it was the right thing to do. But that wouldn't make things any easier. I wasn't so sure that I wanted to speak to them. I noticed that Haymitch was watching me watch Cato. He was clearly waiting to see what I would do.

"I should go say something to them," I said to Haymitch.

Haymitch turned his surprised gaze on me and I shrugged my shoulders. It wasn't that shocking that I wanted to tell the family that I felt bad about what I had done to their son. "Are you sure that you're okay to do that?" he asked.

That was the whole thing about the Victory Tour. Nothing that we said or did was okay. The truth was that I was not okay with this at all. I didn't want to go and face his family. But I had to grow up. It was the human thing to do. Show your condolences to someone that needs them. Someone that needs them because of something that you did. And that was the whole problem right now. So I shrugged my shoulders at Haymitch and turned away from the bar.

"We'll find out," I said quietly, before heading over to where the family stood.

Cato made room for me and stared at me like I had lost my mind. Clearly he hadn't been expecting me to come over here. Then again, I hadn't either. "Can I introduce Aspen Antaeus? My, uh, my girlfriend," Cato said, somewhat awkwardly.

We had never really defined what we were. We just knew that we loved each other. "We know who you are," Jason's father snarled.

"Hello. I guess I don't need to introduce myself," I said weakly. Jason's parents nodded at me. "I just wanted to say that I'm sorry."

"Are you?" Jason's mother asked.

"Of course. Jason was a good fighter but I'm sure that he was an even better person. I wish that I would have gotten to know him," I said. I could practically see the anger boiling in his mother's eyes. "I know that the boy that I saw in the Games was not the same boy that was your son."

His mother nodded at me and I watched as she handed her husband her drink. "No. He was not," she said.

I had known that he wasn't really like that. It was just the Games playing with his mind. I understood that. "This is a lovely feast," Cato said, trying to salvage the conversation.

"We didn't put it together," Jason's father said.

"It's lovely anyways," I tried.

"More food than we've seen in a long time," his mother snarled.

"Yes... I know how you feel," I said.

"Perhaps once you did. Thank you for your condolences," his mother said, before giving her husband a small kiss and walking out of the room.

Jason's father departed after her silently and I was left in an awkward silence with Cato. The two of us stood against each other as Cato gave me his hand. We stood together and I dropped my head against Cato's shoulder, praying that the day would go by as quickly as possible. I just wanted to leave. Thankfully I'd gotten my wish not long afterwards. There had been no point in us staying after the families had both left - considering that they were the ones that we were there for. We had been lead out of the party after that and the trip back to the train had been a silent one. No one had really known what to say.

It seemed that most of our trip had been like that. Cato and I had walked through the District ahead of the rest of our party and we had gotten onto the train before anyone else. Without a proper dinner we had both gone back to my room and gone straight to bed. After the day that we had both had there was nothing to say. Silently Cato had pulled me into him and I had fallen asleep on his chest. That night the only thing that I had dreamt about was the fight with Jason. I had been able to feel the cuts of the knife and I had felt the cold water come rushing through my lungs.

There hadn't been much that fascinating that had happened during out time in District 7. It was one of the things that I was grateful for considering that I had killed one of their Tributes. It was very hard to look them in the eyes but we all knew that if was really his fault. He was the one that had chased me after the Bloodbath. He should have left me alone and let me run off. But I knew not to say anything like that. Mostly we had been led off of the train in the morning and given our speeches.

The crowd had been completely dull during the speeches and it had looked like most of the crowd had been beaten into submission. It didn't surprise me. There had been rebellions in District 8 and they had all been beaten down. Families had been killed and people were being trapped inside their homes. It scared District 7 into remaining loyal and silent. The families of both victims had thanked us for our time and had let us speak with them briefly. It had been the calmest District that we had been to during the entire Victory Tour. I remember thinking that the rest might all be like that. I now know how wrong I had been.

The next morning we had woken up in District 6. Finally it was a District where I was responsible for none of the Tribute deaths. That morning I had walked over to my dresser and grabbed the first inoffensive looking garments that I had seen. That morning it had been a short black skirt that clung to me with a white shirt that hugged my curves. The outfit was short but it was good for the hot weather in District 6. They were the transportation District so it had been unsurprising when I had seen the cars that lined the streets and the leftover pieces of scrap metal that were in the yards.

More than once I'd attempted to engage Cato in some type of conversation but he hadn't seemed that thrilled with speaking to me. Despite the fact that he'd tried to smile at me and attempt to keep the conversation going. It didn't matter. I could see that his heart wasn't in it. So I hadn't pushed. Cato and I had walked out into the living room and I sighed as we sat at the table. For once I was able to choke down a few eggs. Although I still felt like I might throw them back up at any minute. I glanced over to Cato and noticed that for once he actually wasn't eating his breakfast.

"Hey, are you alright?" I asked him.

He looked up at me like he had forgotten that I was even there. What the hell was wrong with him? "Yeah," Cato muttered.

"No, you aren't."

"I'm fine, Aspen."

But he wasn't. "You've looked as strong as a rock through this entire thing. We're halfway there. What happened?" I asked, laying my hand over his.

He sighed at me and dropped his fork onto the table. "Do you remember the first day of training?" he asked.

I nearly laughed. Out of any of the Tributes I should have been the one to remember the first day of training. Despite the fact that I knew that I was skilled and had the ability to win I had made myself look like a bumbling fool. I had also accidentally drawn attention to myself from the Careers and Seneca Crane. I guessed that I was ruing one of those things. But it wasn't any of those things that was bothering Cato. That was when I remembered that he had threatened the boy from District 6. The boy that he had thought had stolen his knife. Turned out that it had been Rue that had actually taken the knife. But I wasn't going to tell Cato that. I had protected her in life and I would protect her in death too.

"You told the boy that he would be the first one that you would kill," I said.

"Just because of a damn knife."

"Don't hate yourself because of it."

"He wasn't even the one to take it," Cato said.

It didn't look like he actually knew who had taken it. "Well you were telling the truth. You saved me from him. But you killed him and now you have to face his family. We've both already had to deal with this. You've killed other Tributes that we've faced so far. Why this one?" I asked.

He had killed more people than I had. So why was this one kid bothering him? He looked over at me and shook his head. "It was just the way that I did it," he said.

The kid had attacked me at the Bloodbath and before he had gotten a chance to kill me Cato had stabbed him through the gut with his sword. "You saved my life, Cato," I said.

"And I was happy to do that."

"So what's wrong?"

"We watched the recap of the Games and I saw how happy I was to kill him. I showed no remorse. No sign of any emotion," he said.

I felt my heart twist for him. "That was just the way that you were raised. There's no shame in that," I said.

"You were scared of me at one point."

"Well you did threaten to kill me a number of times."

"I don't want you to be afraid of me," Cato snapped.

"I'm not afraid of you. I haven't been for a long time. I'm in love with you."

Cato glanced over at me. "That makes one person that's not afraid," he said.

"No one should be," I whispered.

"Maybe I am just the monster that everyone always told me that I was. I thought that you were my saving grace but maybe there is no saving me," he said.

His angry gaze fell to the table. I nearly slapped Cato in the face but I knew that doing that would not end well for me. So instead I grabbed his shoulder and forced him to look at me. "Look at me," I hissed at him. He stared at me with a blank face. "Don't you dare say that. From infancy you were told that this was everything that you had to do. You were told that this was what would make you successful. You aren't to blame for this."

"I killed him."

"To save my life."

"Just because I was in love with you doesn't mean that I was right to do that," he said.

Attempting to make the conversation a little lighter, I gently nudged him. "You were in love with me even back then?" I asked.

The ghost of a smile formed on his lips. "I've been in love with you since the second that I saw you," he said.

"When I was getting my legs waxed?" I asked teasingly.

"It was hot," he joked.

We both snorted as I drank some more of the coffee I had set in front of me. I glanced over and saw that there was another sad look on his face. "I can talk if you want?" I offered.

It was the first time that I had offered to be the one to speak in a District. No part of me actually wanted to talk but I knew that it was the only thing that would make Cato feel any better. Besides he had offered to me more than once to be the only person to talk. He had even been brave enough to once offer to go up onto the stage by himself. That probably would have been a better idea. He gave me a slightly surprised look and a small grin crossed his face.

"I would like that," he said.

"You've done it enough times for me."

"It's my pleasure."

Cato pressed a small kiss against my hairline and I smiled. I wished that Cato would come back to District 12 with me. I didn't want to leave him after the Victory Tour. I wanted him here with me as someone that knew exactly what I was going through. Cato and I nodded at each other before heading out the doors to the stage. We had made it to the stage quickly but before I had even gotten a chance to speak into the microphone - after the mayor introduced us - things had gone south.

"Monster!" a man shouted.

"Why don't you kill some more innocent little boys?"

"I'm sure it will make you happy!"

"How dare you!"

It was just the way that they had shouted at me the day that we had been in District 9. I glanced over and saw that it was the family of the boy that he had killed that were screaming at Cato. As we walked further onto the stage it only got worse. My heart dropped into my stomach as I saw Cato's reaction. Anger had been the first emotion to cross his face but then it had passed to nothing more than absolute despair. He only wanted to try and make things better but the family was doing nothing to help that cause.

But I had to get through it. We weren't being taken from the District early. It only took a few shouts from Peacekeepers to quiet the family down but I noticed that the rest of the District picked it up only moments later. So I had quickly given the speech that Effie had written for us before we were lead off of the stage. The entire time the boy's family had been talking to each other and pointing up to Cato. I knew that every second we were up on that stage things were getting worse so I had made sure to rush through the speech. I was pretty sure that no one had even been able to understand what I had said.

Once we had gotten to the party things had gotten even worse. Little insults were thrown at Cato and even a few had been thrown at me. Needless to say that we hadn't stayed long. That night we had been ushered back onto the stage and I had tried to follow Cato to his room. But the door had slid shut and remained shut until the next morning. Although halfway through the night I'd hit the override and walked into his room anyways. I'd slid into bed with him, said nothing, and let him pull me into his chest. Neither of us had anything to say but we wanted to be together. Looking back I realized that Cato hadn't been the same after our visit to District 6.

The next day when we had arrived in District 5 I hadn't been sure what to think. I had been friends with Finch and her death hadn't been my fault. I had tried to help the girl. But would her family understand that? I hoped so. I had dressed in a brown shirt with an embroidered bird on it and a pair of white pants underneath. Effie had thought that my outfit looked like I had put no thought into it but I didn't care. Cinna agreed that it was proper. Besides thought had gone into my outfit. Her name was Finch. I thought that it would be a nice tribute to wear a shirt with a bird that looked like a Finch on it.

Cato had joined me outside of the train and I had given him a reassuring smile before we had gone out onto the stage. As he was talking I looked out at Finch's family and gulped. I'd known what to be expecting but I didn't like looking out there. Like the other families that I had seen she looked exactly like her family. They all had the red hair and green eyes that had made her stand out. I remembered her talking about a boyfriend too and I couldn't help but wonder where in the crowd he was standing. Or if he would be at the party.

He hadn't been up on the platform. I remembered being surprised to not see him up there. But then again they hadn't really been family. The speeches hadn't taken long before we were ushered into the hall where the party for us was being thrown. It was one of the more peaceful nights that we had - seeing that neither Cato nor I had killed either one of the Tributes. I had slunk back into the corner like I had in the other Districts and picked up a glass. As I was sipping on it I had been shocked to see that Finch's mother had come up to me.

"Hello, Aspen," she greeted.

"Hello..." I trailed off, unsure of what I should say.

"Just, Raven, please," she said.

It made a smile form on my face. Raven... Another bird name. "Good to meet you," I said.

"You as well. We just wanted to speak with you for a moment. May we?"

"Of course."

Another man was with her and I could tell that he wasn't related to her. "You know, I'm sure that this whole Tour has been hard on you. But we wanted to tell you thank you. Honestly," she said, when she saw that I didn't believe her.

"Why would you want to thank me? I've done nothing to thank me for," I said honestly.

"Perhaps. But there is nothing to yell at you for. You gave my daughter a chance to live. You wanted her to make it. That's more than anyone else would have done," she said, with a smile on her face.

I tried to think of something to say back to her. As bad as it made me feel I really wasn't sure what to say back to her. "She had as much of a right to live as me. And when she told me that she had a man back here waiting for her it broke my heart. I wanted her to make it back to him. I'm sorry that she couldn't," I said softly.

The man that was with her mother moved forward and gave me his hand. I took it and shook it slowly, not really sure what he wanted from me. "Thank you for your condolences, Aspen. My name is Sparrow. Finch was with me," he said.

I raised my eyebrows. He had soft brown hair and brilliant blue eyes. He looked a tiny bit like Gale. I could see how Finch had fallen in love with him. "It's nice to meet you," I said.

"You too. I loved her and I always will but I knew that she wouldn't come back. Part of me didn't want her to. I didn't want to watch her fall apart in front of me."

"Yes... I could see why you wouldn't want that."

"She was strong in some ways but never in the ways that you are. I can see that."

"Thank you. I might not be as strong as I thought that I was," I muttered.

"I think you're stronger," Sparrow said.

The two of us exchanged a small smile as Cato walked up behind me. He shook the hands of each one of her family members as the two of us stood and chatted with them for a little while. Cato eventually went off with her parents as I continued to chat with Sparrow. There was something calming and reassuring about being near him. He seemed like a good man to me. He eventually took off the locket that hung around his neck and showed me a picture of Finch. She was smiling and laughing with her hair blowing around her shoulders.

"This is her on the morning of the Reaping," Sparrow explained.

He held out the locket so that I could take it. There was something almost strange about looking at her so peaceful and calm. I smiled at the picture and wished that I had been able to see that girl. She looked like someone that was ready to take on the world. It was a side of her that I had never seen. She had always seemed so cold and calculating when we were in the Capitol, but I had known that somewhere under that facade was a bright and happy young girl. Sparrow was looking down on her picture fondly.

"She looks so happy," I said.

"She was. I was telling her that I wanted to spend the rest of my life with her."

"Oh... I would have never thought that someone could be that happy. I wish that you would have been able to spend the rest of your life with her," I said, guilt flooding over me.

He gave a small laugh. "I will," he said. I tilted my head to the side. He knew that she was gone, right?

"Sparrow," I muttered.

"Aspen, she isn't gone. She's right here," he said as he patted his heart. I smiled at him and nodded softly. "I will always love her and she will always be with me. Just because they aren't physically there doesn't mean that they aren't with you. I think you'd do well to remember that."

There was a serious smile on his face. And I knew exactly what he was talking about. I knew just how much he loved her. It was the same way that I felt about Cato. But they had been together for a while. They knew that they wanted to be together. It was a heartbreaking story but his reaction towards it kept me feeling lighter than I had in weeks. I remembered that saying goodbye to Sparrow had been particularly hard as he had been such a sweet guy. I also remembered that being the first time since the Victory Tour had started that I had been genuinely happy.

The next morning I had been woken up by Cato who had thrown me something to wear. Effie had been so perturbed by my outfit choice the day before that she apparently hadn't trusted me to make my own clothing choices and she knew that Cinna would just go with what I wanted. I had slipped on the light blue dress and nearly thrown up. It was pretty but I felt like a fool wearing it. This entire tour I had been wearing pants and shirts and the rare skirt. The dress felt foreign and I knew for a fact that it was too short. I'd hoped that I didn't drop anything that night. Being me, it meant that I would drop everything.

Haymitch had come to gather Cato and I not long after the two of us had finished getting ready with the rest of our Prep Teams. He had lead us out to where the stage was and through the Justice Building. But before we had gotten on I remembered seeing Finnick with the Mayor and his family. I grinned at the sight of Finnick and found myself getting antsy. I missed the annoying older man. He was the only person that I knew of who was stuck in the exact same situation that I was. He was the only one that I could talk to about everything.

"Oh, wonderful. We get to see pretty boy and all the rest of his gang," Haymitch scoffed as we walked backstage.

I turned to my Mentor and raised my eyebrows at him. As far as I knew the two of them were both friends. I had seen them together all the time before I had gone into the Games and Finnick was with Haymitch a lot of the time together after I had won the Games. They had seemed friendly enough to me.

"I thought that you were friends with Finnick?" I asked Haymitch.

He nodded slightly with a small sigh. "He can get a little old sometimes. But he's a good man and he means well. Trust me on that," he said.

"I know," I said.

We were still standing backstage when Finnick caught sight of us. Something in me cracked as my smile suddenly widened and I gave Finnick a bright smile. He gave me the sight that he just needed a moment and I nodded. He gave the Mayor a quick parting word before walking over to us with a bright smile plastered on his face. Haymitch gave me a small nod so that I could turn and meet up with Finnick.

"Finnick! Hey!" I shouted excitedly.

"Aspen. Come here!" Finnick called.

Cato chuckled and let go of my hand so I could sprint up to him. Cameras were flashing but I couldn't be bothered. They knew that I loved Cato and they would be thrilled to see that two of the most famous and well-loved Victors were obviously close to each other. Everyone laughed before I went running at the older man. He caught me and I laughed as we spun together for a moment. His hands were tight on my back. I finally felt like someone was actually there to protect me. Although as much as Finnick wanted to protect me there was only so much that he could do. There was only so much that anyone could do.

"Believe it or not I've actually missed you," I said.

"Is that so?" Finnick asked, surprised.

"No matter how much of an asshole you are."

"I thought that word was reserved for your love?" Finnick teased, motioning to Cato.

"Only those that I care about." Finnick smirked at me. "It's nice to see someone who is in the same position as me," I said.

The last part was in a low whisper so that no one else could hear. The fact that I was essentially Seneca Crane's slave was something that I didn't need to get out. I could only imagine how much damage that would do. And President Snow would actually kill me if it got out. He had already told me that it was a secret that I had to keep. My life depended on it. Not even mine. But the lives of a number of people that I cared about. Finnick finally nodded and let me down from his arms.

"I wish that you weren't," he said.

At least I had someone else around that was in the same spot. "Me too. I can't imagine what it's going to be like."

"Take a deep breath. I'm doing everything that I can to stop it."

"Thank you."

Finnick gave me another small smile. "Don't worry, Aspen. I'm going to protect you. I promise. In the meantime, let's not speak about it here. There are ears and eyes everywhere," Finnick said.

"Right," I muttered.

"Are you ready to face Coral's family?"

I shook my head, a lump forming in my throat. I had not been looking forward to this District. "I think this one will be the worst," I said, feeling sick to my stomach.

"You'll be okay," Finnick said.

"I'm not sure that I can do this."

"I didn't think that you would be ready. I've seen them a few times since I've been back. They aren't happy with you."

"Shocking."

"Please be careful out there, Aspen. None of her family have exactly been known to be level-headed," he said.

Of course they weren't. That would be too easy. "So they'll be just like her," I said.

"Yes. Essentially."

My hands began to sweat and I nodded at him slowly. The last thing I needed was more drama on this tour. Things had been bad enough. I was relatively sure that I'd been losing weight and my eyes were slowly sinking back in my head from the lack of sleep that I'd been getting. Cato and I spent most nights flipping back and forth, running our hands gently over the other for comfort, trying to get some sleep. I was sure that there would be even more drama but it would be nice if I could push it off for as long as I could. Especially with President Snow breathing down my neck.

"Please don't let them try to attack me. I've already seen two people killed on this Tour," I muttered.

"District 11 and 9?" Finnick asked.

"Yes. I really don't need any more people dead on my account." Finnick wrapped an arm around my shoulders. "I just want to go back home," I said softly.

Haymitch scoffed and I looked for something to throw at him. He was a good guy but half of the time that I was around him I wanted to throw something at him. "We all do, sweetheart," Haymitch said.

"Come on. Don't you like the bars here?" I teased.

"Of course. But I have to be around you all the time," Haymitch groaned.

"Thanks," I snapped.

"Alright, the two of you are on," Haymitch said.

Cato and I lined up to head onto the stage. "Ready?" Cato asked.

"No. You?"

"No."

"Get out there and make it fast!" Haymitch yelled.

We both nodded. "No problem," I muttered.

We were ushered onto the stage and I grimaced at the weak clapping that was coming from the audience. It was definitely the least amount of applause that we'd gotten from any District. The whole thing made me stomach sink to my feet. I knew what was about to come, as much as I wished that it wouldn't. It was obvious that they didn't want to be cheering for me. They had a girl that had almost won. She should have won. But because of dumb luck it was me standing up here. And she was in a coffin. Not even a real coffin. She had been torn apart before she died.

As I opened my mouth to speak to the audience, a voice called out in the crowd. "You shouldn't be up there!" a man shouted.

"My daughter should be!" Coral's mother yelled.

I turned back to look at her. Not this. Not again. Not with President Snow watching. "She was everything that you aren't," more people shouted.

All of the screams followed. "She was strong and smart."

"She was the perfect Victor but instead you are the one that made it."

"Do you see what you've done?"

"Look at how many people are dead because of you!"

My gut wrenched. I had been forced to kill those kids. "Not even other kids. People in the Districts! Those that support you!" a strange man in the audience screamed.

My face went white. What did he mean people that supported me? "That support the Mockin -" Coral's mother continued before she was knocked to her feet by Peacekeepers.

Any words that I'd had to try and say something had died on my tongue. I'd really been trying to say something but it hadn't worked out. And now I had no idea what I could say. What the hell had she just said? She had come so close to saying something. Something that the Capitol obviously didn't want her to say. But what? I tried to head back to the woman, to ask her what she was talking about, but Haymitch grabbed my arm and pulled me back into the building where we were shied away from the screams of the crowd.

"What the hell was that? What was she about to call me?" I asked Haymitch, who stood there silently.

Everyone was staring at me silently. Effie looked horrified at the change in events and she was trying to lead the Prep Team away from everything. Haymitch and Cato were staring at me curiously. Cinna was the only one that looked calm. I glanced back at him and saw that he was looking down at my shoulder. The Mockingjay pin. I looked around at the rest of my small group for an answer when suddenly it dawned on me. Cinna's continued use of the pin. Of course someone would have noticed. It was from the Games. The things that Rue and I had used to signal each other.

"The Mockingjay!" I hissed.

"Do not say that out loud," Haymitch warned.

"Why was she calling me that? I know that they call me The Girl on Fire, but what the hell was that? Have you made me the symbol of the rebellion?" I hissed at Haymitch as I stomped up to him.

"We're not talking about it here," Haymitch snapped.

"We're talking about it! I'm sick of this."

"Be quiet and get ready for the party."

I knew that I was having another panic attack but I couldn't stop myself. "What is happening? Tell me what happened!" I cried.

Someone knew the truth of what was happening. Someone had to know what was going on. This was something that they were keeping from me. I wasn't fool enough to think that they were just trying to get me to react up on that stage. I brought my hands to my head and squeezed. Haymitch grabbed my hands and forced them back down to the sides of my body.

"Hey, stop! It doesn't matter what she was calling you. Finnick has gone off to take care of it," Haymitch said.

I glanced up. I hoped that I hadn't caused Finnick any more problems than he already had. "Is he okay?" I asked.

"Finnick will be fine. He's handling everything. Coral's family are being taken in for a while. It doesn't matter what's happening, it isn't your fault. Okay?"

"Okay."

"Good. Go with the Prep Team and get ready for the party tonight. We won't stay long. Just enough to get some pictures and talk to some cameras. This thing is almost over, alright? Hang in there," Haymitch said, with a pat on the back.

The party that night had been one of the worst. My dress was long and blue and I'd kept tripping over it all night. Cato and I had mostly stayed in front of the cameras at Haymitch's request to try and make it look like we were happy with each other. We had said plenty of kind words about the District, I'd given a nice eulogy to the cameras over the fallen Tributes, and Cato and I had ensured to look like a perfectly happy couple. Shaking hands, exchanging respectful kisses, and laughing softly with each other.

The night had gone by in a blur. I didn't remember leaving the District or eating dinner. I didn't remember going to bed that night or waking up the next morning. I didn't even remember getting changed. But somehow I had. A light grey sweater over a white shirt and a pair of blue jeans on underneath my long sweater. It was a comfy outfit and one that was well-suited for District 3. Despite the fact that they were technology they were simple people. They didn't need a fancy or well put together outfit. They just wanted to get our visit over with so that they could go on about their everyday lives.

Slowly I had made my way out into the living room and sat down besides Cato. The two of us had barely spoken to each other over the past two days other than what we were required to say in front of the cameras. We were having a hard time trying to act like we were in love. We were, but overdoing it was getting stressful, constantly wondering if we were doing enough. Like he had in District 6, Cato was sitting with his hands in his lap and his plate empty. I had opened my mouth to ask him what was wrong but I hadn't even had to prod him.

"I killed both of them," Cato muttered.

"It's okay. We had to do it," I said.

"Not like that. I snapped his neck just because I was angry that you had gotten the best of us."

"See? It was kind of my fault."

"No. It was awful. I didn't even take it out on you. I took it out on some poor kid that never stood a chance," he said.

I hated to admit it but I was glad that he had taken it out on Ethan. "It's not that bad, Cato. It was fast. It was painless," I said.

"It was a monstrous thing to do to someone. He knew that we were going to kill him anyways but we were still cruel enough to let him think that he had a chance."

"It happens to every Career. I've told you before. You know now that you shouldn't have done it. You've moved on. In time they will too," I whispered.

"I wish I would have known before."

"You know now."

"I made her miserable in her last moments. I hunted her down and killed her without even thinking better of it," he said.

Again I shook my head and pressed a small kiss against his throat. There was a soft hum that echoed through his vocal chords and I knew that I was about to get him to smile. I didn't want him to think about it. She had tried to kill him. Her death had been coming to her and she had known it in her last moments. It was either kill him or suffer with the fact that he was going to kill her. There was no way that she would have gotten out of it. I kissed Cato again on the neck.

"I'll talk here too," I volunteered. I had done nothing to them so hopefully they didn't completely hate me. "This might actually be one of the few Districts that don't hate me right now."

"They shouldn't hate you. You're wonderful," Cato said, leaning back and kissing me.

"I suck," I joked. "But so do you, so I guess we make a good match."

"We do make a good match."

We sat in silence for a moment as I slipped into Cato's lap. "My own District probably hates me right now," I whined pathetically.

Cato grabbed my hand softly and gave me a small kiss. It was something that I needed. We had barely spoken to each other the past week and a half and we had rarely shown any signs of affection. At least outside of the obligatory kisses and happy moments that were mostly staged. As much as we loved each other we had been rather tuned out for the past week and a half. The Victory Tour had put us almost completely on autopilot.

"They don't hate you. They love you more than anything," Cato said.

I didn't want to believe that but he was probably right. "I hope so," I muttered.

"As for everyone else in the other Districts, they're afraid. When people get afraid they get mean. They're taking out their fear on the closest person to them. That would be you."

It made sense but that didn't make it any less infuriating. "Of course. They aren't taking out their anger on the person that killed their kids. That wouldn't make any sense now, would it?" I snapped at him. I saw the anger flash through Cato's eyes and I knew that I had to say something before I caused a fight. "I'm so sorry."

"It's okay," Cato muttered.

"I didn't mean that. I really didn't. I'm just angry."

"I know. With everything else that's happened between us, that's nothing."

"I don't want to fight. Look, it doesn't matter. Let's go. The faster we get this done the faster that we can leave," I said.

The rest of that day had gone by extremely quickly. It was something that I had been extremely grateful for. The last thing that I wanted to do was linger in places that I didn't want to be. And District 3 would have been one of those places. As much as I wanted to avoid the Capitol - considering that Seneca Crane was waiting for me - I also wanted to be done with this tour. The speech that I had given had gone over rather well and I had gotten a polite round of applause from the District. It was the nicest that any of the speeches had gone over. Besides that, no one had screamed insults at either Cato or I.

We had gone to the feast immediately after the speeches where I had met Ethan's family. They were a quiet bunch but they were a kind family. They shared a story of his childhood with me and I told them that Ethan seemed like a nice boy. The girl's family on the other hand said nothing to me. They kept to themselves and only said a hello and goodbye. Not that I blamed them. They were trying to heal from her death and this was just one more thing to remind them that they had lost her.

After waking up from a night without nightmares - which was the first time in a long time that I had felt that - I had rolled over to grab myself a pair of clothes. Not before actually sharing a happy morning with Cato. The two of us had exchanged a number of long kisses before I'd gotten changed in Cinna's outfit. A small yellow sleeveless shirt with a pair of shorts. It was warm in District 2. I could tell that Cato was happy to be back home but for me it was completely nerve-wracking. The last time that I had been here I had started a fight with Clove's sister.

"Don't worry about speaking. I'll take care of it," Cato said, as we walked out into the living room.

"Thanks. I'm sure that they'd rather listen to you."

"They aren't exactly fond of me but I think that they might be able to resist killing me."

"They're not fond of you?" I asked, surprised.

"They're still a little angry about Clove. They think that I should have stayed loyal to the District and won with Clove. They're angry that I went with you."

"Oh..."

"I'm not angry. I would have picked you every time. They still like me well enough. They won't kill me. You on the other hand, I'm not so sure," he said.

I snorted at him and nodded. He was right. He and Clove had been friends and her family were still slightly fond of Cato. Even though he had fallen in love with me and that meant that she wasn't able to return home. When it came to me, they hated me for everything that had happened. They thought that I didn't deserve to win because I had needed help to beat their daughter in a fight. But still, who was standing here? And I knew that I was a better knife thrower.

"You're more than welcome to take care of them," I scoffed at Cato.

"You'll be okay. Just stay with my family."

"They still like me?"

"I think they like you a little more than they like me sometimes," he snapped.

As we walked out to the Justice Building I remembered the last time that I had been here. I was so excited to go back home. All I'd wanted was to get back. I hadn't known what was coming. It didn't matter. Nothing had changed. I was still extremely excited to finally get back home. I was so close. Only four more days that I had to endure before I could return to District 12. Cato would get to be with me for a day before he would go back to District 2.

"Hey, sweetheart, try not to start any fights this time," Haymitch said.

"Whatever," I snapped.

Although in retrospect what had happened was a little funny. It had probably been plastered all over the news stations in the Capitol. I could remember reporters asking me about it once I'd gotten back to District 12. I had been forced to apologize and tell them that I hadn't really meant it. I'd only been stressed out and upset about her mentioning of Thresh and Prim. Thankfully the Capitol loved Prim so they had understood. I rolled my eyes before walking out on stage and completely avoiding any eye contact with Clove's family.

That night after the speeches I was sitting at the bar in District 2 sipping what had to be my seventh or eighth drink. Not that I remembered. I had lost count after five. The world was slightly blurry but it kept me from having to say anything to Clove's family. Cato's family had come back and forth chatting with me over the past few hours. We had even shared a few dances. But now I was giving them some time to speak with Cato. I knew that he would feel better once he got to talk to them.

"You enjoying your drinks?" Haymitch asked as he sat down next to me.

I rolled my eyes. "Loving them," I said.

"Do you even know how many drinks you've had?"

"No."

"That would be one too many."

"I'm fine, Haymitch. Leave me be."

"You were doing just fine talking to Cato's family."

"I gave them some time to chat with everyone. It was nice to speak to them again. Now I want to give them some time with their son and I want some time to myself," I snapped.

"Look I still need you somewhat sober for tomorrow."

"I'll be fine."

"No, you won't. If you really want a good drink you can come to my place when we get back home. Until then, pretend that you aren't falling apart at the seams," he said, before stealing my drink and walking off.

There wasn't much more of the night that I remembered. Only the fact that I had completely avoided Dara all night, who had looked like she was ready to kill me. I knew that I had talked to Cato's family a bit more and Alana had tried to keep me away from the cameras. It was rather nice for me to avoid Clove's family for the night. And it was nice to see that the people of District 2 liked me a little more than I thought that they did. They were nice enough.

The next morning I had woken up with a slight headache. I could have slapped myself for what I'd done. I should have known that I would be slightly hungover. That was stupid of me to do. But subconsciously I had known what I was doing. I wanted to be numb today. I knew exactly how Cato had felt when we were at District 3. I had killed both Glimmer and Marvel. They had both been annoying but they hadn't deserved the deaths that they had gotten.

Neither one of them had gone out peacefully in the slightest. I could have taken Marvel up on his offer and it could have been him and Rue that had lived. But would I have really wanted that? And would the Capitol have really kept their words if it had been anyone other than Cato and me? Probably not. They would have taken the rule back and Marvel would have torn Rue to bits. Maybe my choices really had been for the best. But it didn't change the fact that I had been nasty to them in their deaths.

On shaky legs I had walked out into the living room and nearly throttled Effie. I was in black heels and a flowing black dress at her insistence. Just like I was at some kind of glamorous funeral. That made sense though considering that District 1 made all of the luxury items that the Capitol had. They looked exactly like a poorer version of the Capitol. Made sense that they thought so much like the people of the Capitol. It was also why their kids always had stupid names.

"I know how you feel now," I told Cato as I sat down beside him at the table.

"What?" he asked.

Obviously I had just disturbed him from a deep thought. "I killed both of them. Glimmer was an accident but I killed Marvel. I didn't even stop with just killing him. I destroyed his body. All because he killed my friend. I shouldn't have done that but it felt so right at the time," I admitted.

Cato handed me a glass of water that I gladly took. I downed it in under ten seconds. Maybe I wanted to drown myself. "That's what they're hoping for. They want you to feel guilt. They want to destroy you," Cato said.

"It's working."

"Don't let them. It's going to be okay, Aspen."

"I know," I muttered.

"For District 1 it's just an honor to get to go into the Games," Cato said.

He was right. These people just thought of this like I would think of losing at a board game to Prim. It was sick. "That doesn't make it any easier," I mumbled.

"I know. They won't try to kill you or cry. They will just be reminiscing on the time that their children had in the Games."

As sick as I felt, I had nodded to him and let him lead me out of the train and to the platform that we would be speaking on. It was the nicest of the ones that we had been on so far. I had noticed that the crowd was rather unsettled. Just as they had been in every District before them. Across the way had stood both Glimmer and Marvel's families. Marvel had his father and mother up on the platform along with his sister. She looked to be a few years younger than me and his parents both looked extremely upset. Like they had been ripped off on some sort of prize. Of their son.

Glimmer's family on the other hand looked perfectly content. It seemed that she only had her mother and father, both looking like horrid people. They were softly chatting with each other and laughing and smiling. I could see where Glimmer got her horrible personality from. And her horrible laugh, I couldn't help but to think as I heard her mother cackle. They didn't look thrilled to see me but they didn't seem bothered. I noticed that they were still rather young. They could probably have another kid. It was what I told myself to make me feel better.

Not long after the speeches were done with I had found myself talking to Glimmer's mother. Cato was talking to Marvel's parents - who didn't look at all happy with me. They seemed happy enough with Cato. In the meantime Glimmer's mother was gushing about her daughter. Part of me actually thought that it was sweet. At least she was thinking about the good times that she had with her daughter and not the fact that I had accidentally killed her.

"Oh, she looked gorgeous at the funeral," her mother said.

I knew that I had paled. "That's nice," I muttered.

"We had to send for some special medicine to get the swelling to go down. It would have had to be closed casket had that happened and that would have been terrible. We wanted people to remember what a little beauty that Glimmer was. She was all that was good in Panem. Don't you agree?"

Her mother was still wearing a bright smile. She had been through her entire conversation. I wanted nothing more than to punch her mother, shake her or scream at her. Anything to get her to realize what a horrible person that she really was. She was just like the people in the Capitol had been after the Games. It seemed like I missed Glimmer more than her own mother did. And I had hated the girl. That had to be saying something. I couldn't believe that her mother had been the most upset that it would have had to have been a closed casket funeral.

Peeta's had had to be closed. He had been torn apart so badly by the mutts and no one had wanted his siblings or parents to have to see him like that. In fact I had been the only one that didn't mind dressing his body. I had been the one to plan the entire funeral. I had been the one to cry over him and talk to him like he was still there. And Glimmer's mother had only been concerned over the way that he daughter had looked. I wanted to say everything to her mother but none of that came out.

"Yes," was all that I said to her.

Politely I dismissed myself from Glimmer's mother. She had smiled at me and wished me well on the rest of the tour. It was the one thing that I had been thankful for. Besides Cato's family she was the only one that had wished me well during the Victory Tour. By then I had wanted to head over to Cato ad stay with him for the rest of the night but I was cut off by Marvel's sister. She was a little taller than me but I was in heels thankfully so the two of us looked at each other eye to eye.

"Brave girl that you are, showing your face around here. Of course, even you couldn't be that cowardly," she sneered.

"It would have been a little odd for me to skip out on my own Victory Tour," I said blandly.

"I know that you did some pretty cowardly things in that arena. You shouldn't even be the Victor. How many times did other people save your life?" I remained silent. "Too many for you to be the Victor," she hissed.

Only a beat went by before she let her father come to stand in front of me. Unfortunately the heels did nothing for me against his father. Like Marvel, he towered over me. Even with the heels he was probably near a foot taller than me. He leaned over me slightly and I knew that they were enjoying backing me into a corner. But I wasn't afraid. Every emotion had left my body and now I was just like stone. Because I knew where I would be tomorrow.

"She isn't wrong, you know. I've never seen someone get so lucky in the Games and then manage to win by the skin of their teeth. Someone so undeserving too," he snapped.

They turned away and stepped back. I gave the family a sorry look and took a glass of champagne from the waiter that passed by us. "Thank you," I told the waiter. "I'm sorry for your son," I said to the pair.

Both father and daughter scoffed at me darkly before turning away and disappearing into the small crowd. Not that I hadn't been expecting it. Sighing deeply I slipped back against the bar and downed the glass in one chug. I placed the small chute on the counter of the bar and made myself reach for a second. It probably wasn't a good idea to drink the night before I would be talking to Caesar Flickerman at the interviews but I knew it was the only thing that would keep me going for the rest of the night. I had almost grabbed another glass when a little girl walked in front of me.

I smiled weakly at her. She had bright blonde hair and dark green eyes. "Hello," I told the girl softly.

"One day I'm gonna volunteer. Just like you did," she said.

My heart sank. That hadn't been the point of me volunteering. Was it just the liquor or had she really just said that? She had no idea what she was asking for. The Games were miserable and I wouldn't have her dead because of something that I had done. She couldn't do it. I hated the Games. She had to know that. Everything that I said about the Games to the Capitol was closely controlled and monitored. I couldn't say what a nightmare they were. I got down onto her level and grabbed her shoulders, making sure that she wouldn't run off.

"No, please. That isn't what you want to do. The Games are made to be so glorious but they aren't worth it. The only things that come from the Games are pain and nightmares that will never leave you. I know that they want you to do this but it isn't worth everything that happens. Please don't go into the -" I pleaded with the girl before she was snatched from me.

I slipped back from the sudden loss of a balance and nearly ended up on my ass. Once I had regained my balance I stood up and stared at the woman who was now holding the younger child. She had the same blonde hair and green eyes as the little girl and it was easy to tell that it was her mother. They looked a little bit like Glimmer and I couldn't help but to wonder if maybe they were related to her somehow.

"Come, dear. We don't speak to people like that," she sneered the last part before stalking off.

Honestly I should have seen that one coming. It shouldn't have been that shocking. I tried to fight my way through the crowd to get to her and tell her not to let her daughter go into the Games but my search was futile. They had left the building and I was trapped in here. I just had to pray that she wouldn't be talented enough to go into the Games. I had to pray that in ten years I wouldn't have Tributes competing against her. So, in defeat, I took back my seat at the bar and grabbed myself the second drink.

That was how I ended up where I was right now. Lying in my bed on the train by myself. Cato had offered me dinner but I had denied it, telling him that I wasn't hungry. I knew that he didn't believe me but that didn't matter. I just wanted to be by myself for a little while. I wanted to be anywhere else. I didn't want to be heading towards Seneca Crane and President Snow. I didn't want all of this to be happening. I didn't want the knowledge of what a nightmare the Victory Tour had really been.

Right now I really wanted to cry. That was the only thing that I wanted other than to be back home. Just something to make myself feel even the slightest bit human. But I couldn't even do that. I was lying on my pillow all the while trying to force the tears out of my eyes. But nothing worked. I just laid down and stared off into the distance. I stared blankly until my eyes finally fell shut. And even then I wondered what was wrong with me. I was cold. The Games hadn't just hurt me. They had destroyed me. I was out of them for good and even now they were killing me.

Things were terrible now. With each passing District things had gotten worse. There was genuine elation in the faces of the people at the sight of us, and under that elation there was fury. When they were chanting my name, it was more of a cry for vengeance than a cheer. When the Peacekeepers moved in to quiet the unruly crowds they pressed back instead of retreating. And I knew that there was nothing I could ever do to change it. No show of love, however believable it could be, would turn the tide. If my holding out those knives was an act of temporary insanity then these people were embracing insanity too.

Things went from bad to worse very quickly on the tour. Anyone paying attention could have known that something very terrible was happening to me. Cinna had to begin taking in my clothes around the waist. All new wardrobes were being made as I stopped eating - unable to keep the food down - and kept losing weight. The Prep Team were constantly fretting over the circles under my eyes. Effie started giving me pills to sleep but they didn't work. Not well enough. I would drift off only to be roused by nightmares that had increased in number and intensity.

Cato, who would sometimes spend much of the night roaming the train, heard me screaming as I struggled to break out of the haze of drugs that merely prolonged the horrible dreams. He managed to wake me and calm me down. Then he would climb into bed and hold me until I fell back to sleep. That was in District 9. After that I refused the pills. But every night we slept together and said nothing. We managed the darkness as we did in the arena, wrapped in each other's arms, guarding against dangers that could descend at any moment.

Besides some heavy kissing nothing else happened but our arrangement quickly became a subject of gossip on the train. When Effie brought it up to me I was thrilled, thinking that it would get back to President Snow. Anything to help convince him that we were in love. And maybe it would get thrown back to Seneca Crane. I told Effie that we would make an effort to be more discreet but we didn't. I didn't care enough.

All I knew was that things were terrible. The Districts were just inches away from rebellion, Snow was threatening everyone that I loved, and Seneca Crane would be waiting with open arms in just twenty-four hours to take the last thing that was truly mine. Everything was going the wrong way. And it was slowly eating me from the inside out. Snow had gotten exactly what he had wanted. But President Snow wouldn't win. He would burn.

 **A/N:** Here's another fully edited chapter. **Let me know what you think!** Until next time -A


	3. Chapter 3

The whole place looked nothing like I had expected. Then again, what had I really been expecting? A dungeon probably. That wouldn't have surprised me in the slightest. It seemed so appropriate for someone that had run the Hunger Games. Even if just once. He was vile enough to make him a villain for the rest of my life. I walked in a little further and took a look around. It definitely suited the previous Head Gamemaker.

The room boasted the same colors that he was famous for wearing. The same suit that he always wore whenever he was in an interview or somewhere in the public eye. Red and black. Dark colors for such a dark person. I had never thought that anything was more appropriate. The room was huge that I was sitting in. If I had thought that my living room in Victor's Village was large then I had no idea what large really was. This place had to be close to the size that my entire house was. And that was just the first floor.

Taking a few steps towards the edge of the mirror that hung on the wall I saw that I was currently made up in a dress that I had never seen before. Had I been in this dress before? I couldn't really even remember if I had been in a dress before. I couldn't even remember if Cinna had put me in this. The dress that I was in was bright red and clung tightly to my skin. Had I not known better I would have thought that it was my skin. It was tight enough to be. Had Cinna really made this? I somehow doubted that he had.

Even though Cinna liked to push the boundaries on things that I would wear he always kept some part of me in the outfits. And there wasn't the slightest part of me in this outfit. All I could think was that maybe he had been forced to do this. I knew plenty about being forced. With a small smirk on my face I moved back over to the bar and grabbed myself a small chute of champagne. It probably wasn't a good idea to drink in his house but I needed it for my nerves.

He knew what he did to me and I think that was what bothered me the most. He knew that every time that he got close to me it would send chills up my spine. And not the kind that I liked. The kind that made me feel like I could peel my skin off. Breaking through the silence I heard the clicking of his shoes at the door to the room. I put the glass down on the counter. I didn't need him to mock me for needing a drink to face him. His shoes came into view first. They had clearly been shined for today. His clothes were the same black and red stripes that they normally were and his hair was slicked back as usual.

His eyes shot over to the empty glass on the counter and I reprimanded myself. How could I have thought that he wouldn't look there? I should have hidden the glass behind the counter. Where he wouldn't have been able to see it. A smirk filled in his face where his beard failed to and I had to suppress the eye roll that was threatening to come out. His eyes traveled up and down my body and my feet wanted nothing more than to run off back to my room. Back to the man that really loved me.

"You look lovely tonight," Seneca Crane said.

"Thank you."

"I knew that red would be lovely on you."

"I prefer green."

"Did you enjoy my present?" he asked.

Of course it had come from Seneca Crane. How stupid could I have been? Some part of me felt like a fool for ever thinking that Cinna would have designed something like this for me to wear. When it came to Cinna he always put something extra in his outfit. Something to give the Capitol a backhanded compliment. It was something that made me fear for his life. But Cinna was smart. He knew what he was doing. This skin-tight dress wasn't his design.

"I had a feeling that this came from you," I hissed.

He smirked again and I had to fight back the urge to slap him. It would have been the least that I should do. "Of course it did. I want you to have the best," Seneca said.

"It's not the best."

"Sure it is."

"No, it's not. Because Cinna didn't design it."

"You're very fond of your designer," Seneca said.

"Yes. I am. He knows what I like and what I like to wear. It looks nothing like anything that Cinna would have ever designed," I snapped, as we both crossed the room.

He seemed to know that I was making my moves so that I would stay away from him. The last thing that I wanted was to be in the room with him. I wanted to be far away from here. Like a bird stalking its prey, he followed me and made sure that I was backed into the wall. Which I definitely was. I took a deep breath and resigned myself to the fact that there was nowhere for me to move now. I would just have to stay here and hope that he kept his distance.

"And why do you say that?" he asked, his beady black eyes locking in on my throat, making me even more nervous.

Feeling a sudden braveness flash through me I took a few steps closer to Seneca. He was taller than me even with the heels on my feet but I was getting close to his height. "Because Cinna takes what I would like to wear into his designs," I sneered, hoping that he would realize my hidden meaning in my words.

Seneca pressed his lips against my throat. "I'd prefer you in nothing," Seneca said.

"No, thank you. I'd prefer to leave."

"Come now, Aspen. Let's not be cruel to each other."

"So let me leave."

"I think not. Try something else."

"That's all that I want," I said.

"You were nicer when we were talking about the dress," Seneca said, gently running his hand up my thigh.

"Look at this. This is nothing that I would ever want to wear. It's too flashy. It looks nothing like something that someone from District 12 would ever wear," I said, softly at the end.

He placed his hand under my chin and I yanked away from him roughly. He had no right to touch me. I was going to avoid that for as long as I could. "But you aren't really from District 12 anymore are you?" he asked.

"What do you mean?" I asked.

"At one time that place meant everything to you. You could have never seen any of the rest of Panem and you would have been content."

"I'm still content not being there or seeing it."

"But you have and now you're torn. You have people everywhere. In District 2 you have the boy that you claim to love."

"Claim?" I interrupted harshly.

"Claim. The Capitol darling that you've found yourself tied to lives in District 4 and you feel that some part of you needs to love District 11. And, besides all of that, there are people that you love in the Capitol," he said.

I had to refrain from nodding. He was right but I didn't want to admit it. Not to him at least. "So perhaps there are a few more people that I love," I said slowly.

"The world just keeps getting bigger, doesn't it, Miss Antaeus?"

The room was silent for a moment until I shook my head. He had no idea who he was talking to. "The world is a big place. After the Games I think that I started to realize just how big that it is. But that doesn't mean anything to me," I said.

There was a wide smirk on his face. "I'm not sure that I follow you," Seneca said.

He had to know that I knew that I had started this mess. I had started it and I would be damn sure to finish it. "They have nothing to fear. Not the Games. Not the Capitol. Not you. Not President Snow. Even if it means that I die I'll always be there to protect them," I hissed.

He smiled at me and walked away from me. I knew that there was something that he had to say to me. I could tell by the way that he was still grinning at me. I watched as he walked over to the bar. He grabbed my glass and brought it back over to me with the bottle of champagne in his hands. He refilled my glass and poured himself one as well before handing me the glass. Maybe if I drank enough fast enough I would be able to forget about this entire night.

"Those are very brave words. Especially for someone that seems to tiptoe on the brink of insanity," he said.

I nearly spit out my drink. "Pardon you," I snapped.

"I saw you during the Victory Tour. You're on the hinge of breaking."

"No. I'm not."

"I saw your constant shaking, the near tears, and the way that you clung onto Mr. Hadley."

My hands quivered on the drink for a moment but I forced myself to stay still. I couldn't just fall apart at the seams. Not when everyone had been trying so hard to help me. Not when I had things to fight for. Instead of remaining frozen in my spot I walked over to the glass table and slammed my glass down. I was going to show him that I didn't need a damn drink to speak with him. I wasn't that weak.

"I'm stronger than you think," I said, as I straightened up and stared him down.

He smirked at me and nodded slowly. "I don't doubt that dear. Keep in mind that I watched you during the Games," he said.

"Yes. I'm well aware of how you tried to kill me a number of times."

"I saw all of the people that you fought and all of the times that people thought that you would die. But you never did. You're a strong girl, Aspen Antaeus."

"I know."

"But no one doubts that. They know that you're strong. They need you to be strong," he said.

For as long as they needed it, I would be strong. "I will always be strong," I said.

"Tell me, Miss Antaeus. Who are you?" he asked.

For a moment I wondered what he meant. He knew who I was. I was Aspen Antaeus from District 12. My parents had died in the Hunger Games during the Fifty-Fifth and Fifty-Seventh years. I had volunteered for the Seventy-Fourth Annual Hunger Games and I had somehow managed to win them. I won them with one other person. But then it rang a bell on what he had meant. He knew who I was. But he wanted to know who I thought that I was.

"I think that you've already said it," I told him.

His smile widened. "Say it," he hissed.

"I am the Mockingjay," I said bravely.

He laughed brightly and dropped his glass to the floor. It shattered into a million pieces and I realized just how dangerous I had made this. I backed off slightly when I saw that he was advancing towards me and I took a deep breath. He looked down at the ground. I moved to the door while he wasn't looking at me but I knew that it would do nothing. I had definitely messed this whole thing up. I had gotten too brave and now he would make me pay for it.

"No. You're mine," Seneca hissed.

For a moment I opened my mouth to shout at him that I wasn't his or that I wouldn't dare touch him, but it was too late. Instead he looked up at me and I realized that his previously black eyes were now a bright green. The same bright green as the wolf mutt that he had set on me. I screamed loudly as he ran up to me and knocked me back into the wall. I smashed my head against the wall and the world faded before going black. I had lost.

My arm was being shaken roughly and I woke with a start. My entire torso shpt upright and I nearly threw myself from the bed. But thankfully someone was holding onto me. My heart was pounding out of my chest and I felt like I might throw up. It had only been a dream but it had all felt so real. And tonight would be the first time that I would be seeing Seneca Crane since I had left the Capitol six months ago. I was breathing heavily, feeling like I was about to be sick. Cato was standing over me with his hands on my back supporting me.

"Hey, you're fine," Cato said.

My head was in between my knees and I was sure that I was about to spill my guts. "Cato..." I muttered desperately.

"It's me. You're alright," Cato said.

"You're here."

"I'm here. Come here."

Cato pulled me up into his lap and I sighed as I pushed my head into his shoulder. "Oh... Cato," I whispered.

"You're okay. It was only a dream. Do you want to talk about it?" he asked.

"No," I whispered.

That was not a can of worms that I wanted to open with Cato. He was better off not knowing what my deal was with the former Head Gamemaker. "You're sure?" Cato asked.

"I'm sure."

"I know that you probably don't want to hear this but Haymitch, Brutus, and Enobaria want to talk to us. I don't know what about but I have a pretty good guess," he said.

I rolled my eyes. It was easy to guess what they wanted. Especially since it was only the Mentors who wanted to talk to us. "Of course. They want to tell us what a shitty job we've done during this stupid tour," I said.

"That's what I was thinking."

"They'll want to try something before we get to the Capitol."

Cato nodded at me as I stood from the bed. We had to be getting close to the Capitol. I had gone to bed hours ago and I knew that we were supposed to be getting there overnight. I imagined that they had woken us up because we were almost there. It only made me even crabbier. I glanced over to the clock and realized that it was only eleven at night. It felt like I had been asleep for hours. Great... I would probably have to deal with one more nightmare tonight.

"At least we can't make it any worse," I said.

"I wouldn't bet on that."

"I guess that we can just say that we were having a hard time during the interviews. Play the pity card."

"They just want to see us together anyways," Cato said.

"It'll be just like Haymitch told me to do during my initial interviews before our Games," I said, with the shrug of my shoulders.

Dropping down to my dresser I grabbed a pair of black spandex shorts and a bright blue shirt. I wasn't going to get changed if I was going to just get berated for not doing my job. "What do you mean like Haymitch told you to do?" Cato asked.

I turned back around as I pulled my shirt over my head. I shrugged as I pulled my hair up into a ponytail. "Before the interviews I went and sat down with him to figure out my angle for them. I was so pissed off about the whole situation that I didn't even bother to try. Every angle that Haymitch came up with I ruined because I didn't care enough to try. Anyways he got so sick of trying to find me an angle that he told me to just play the pity card when Prim or my parents came up and maybe that would get me Sponsors. Seems like it worked," I said.

Cato began to laugh. "Of course you did," he said through laughs.

"What are you laughing at?" I asked.

He shook his head at me. I knew that I was funny but I didn't think that my story had been that funny. "It's just something that sounds very much like you. You hated these people so much that you didn't even want to try and appeal to those that might have a hand in saving your life," he said.

I rolled my eyes. He wasn't wrong. It was something that was completely like me. I hated the people of the Capitol so much that I hadn't even bothered to try and make them like me. I had given mostly honest answers and apparently they had liked them. Not that I really understood that. I was a relatively unlikable person. I couldn't even understand why Cato liked me. Maybe it was because he wasn't very likable either. I grabbed his hand and pulled him from the room out into the living room.

Suddenly I realized why the meeting had been called. Because I could see the dam rising in the distance and I remembered just how desperate we were. We would make endless appearances to adoring crowds. There would be no danger of an uprising among the privileged. Among those whose names were never placed in the Reaping balls, whose children never died for the supposed crimes committed generations ago. We didn't need to convince anybody in the Capitol of our love but we did hold to the slim hope that we could still reach some of those we failed to convince in the Districts. Whatever we could do seemed too little, too late.

It was what was giving me my nonchalant attitude. "Whatever. Let's just head out there and get this over with," I said.

"We just need to figure something out."

"I don't know if I even care anymore. I just want to go to sleep and forget about this whole thing," I said, before plopping myself down in front of our Mentors, none of whom looked particularly happy.

It was easy to see that Haymitch was unhappy with me. I wasn't surprised. He was the one who was responsible for me and my actions. "Whatever, Aspen?" Haymitch asked.

"I'm tired and annoyed, Haymitch," I argued weakly.

"We all are. That really sounds like you care. It sounds like you're really happy!"

I jumped slightly. "They can't honestly think that we're happy?" I asked.

"Of course they do! Look, I know that this tour hasn't been easy on you but you haven't even attempted to talk with any of the fallen Tributes' families," he said.

"I have too!"

"No, you let me talk. They'll be rude to you I know that. They were rude to me too. You suck it up and talk with them though! Let them insult you, damn it," he sighed loudly.

My anger got the better out of me as I went to leave. Cato grabbed me and yanked me back down beside him roughly. "What the hell is that about? I should let them tell me that neither one of us deserved to win?" I snapped.

Haymitch sat there silently. "That's exactly what you do," Enobaria said.

"Some of their kids were real pieces of work. And they don't even bother to think that every night both Cato and I see their damn kids in our dreams!" I yelled loudly.

Honestly I was glad that we were on the train and not in a District or at the Capitol. My comment probably wouldn't have gone over well. Someone would have heard me and then we would have had an entirely new set of problems on our hands. Maybe I would have been able to convince them that I was tired and didn't know what I was saying. Haymitch scoffed at me. I knew that he was doing everything in his power to not slap me. I wouldn't have blamed him if he had. I was being annoying but I was beyond upset.

"They don't care about that, Aspen. They lost their kids. They just want to take it out on the people who won't kill them for retaliating," Haymitch said.

"How is that fair to us?" I asked.

"It's not. You learn to live with it. But it wasn't just about that."

I had to fight the urge to scream. I knew that he had more to yell at me for. "What else?" I asked irritably.

"I watched the two of you in every District. Besides District 11 you sounded like robots up there. That is not what President Snow wanted," Haymitch said.

"Well then blame the damn cards that Effie wrote!" I shouted.

Effie popped out from behind the wall to the kitchen and I knew that I would eat my words. I had been hoping that she was in bed. "Manners," she snapped.

"It wasn't exactly like they sounded very heartfelt. It sounded like we thought that they should be thanking us for killing their kids!" I yelled, my anger taking over.

I had been forced to be polite and thankful this entire tour. Someone needed to hear how I really felt. As I had expected, Effie hadn't taken my comment well. "Manners!" she repeated.

I rolled my eyes as she came to walk in front of me. "Sorry," I muttered.

"The cards that I wrote were ones that would pacify President Snow and not get any more people killed. I wrote them to the best of my ability and I thought that they were good," Effie said.

My eyes rolled so far back that they probably could have gotten stuck in the back of my head. Of course she thought that they were good. They were written just like someone from the Capitol would write them. I didn't blame the families for being angry with me. It sounded like I didn't give a rat's ass about their kids. And in some way I didn't. Haymitch sighed and pushed Effie to the side, who humphed and went to sit at the dining table to listen to the conversation.

"This fighting isn't helping the cause. Tell that to President Snow when you see him two days from now," Haymitch said.

He was right. Tomorrow was the interviews with Caesar Flickerman and the day after that was the party at his mansion. "Well I don't know what else to say," I said.

"Definitely not that! That you were just reading the cards that Effie wrote because you didn't want to make him mad. I'd love to see how that goes over. Now we have to think. I'm open to suggestions," Haymitch said.

It wasn't just me. Everyone sat in their chairs silently. Any suggestion that I had probably wouldn't go over very well. There was nothing that I could think of that he would enjoy. The only thing that he liked was Cato and I's relationship. I could play on that but there wasn't much more to do with the two of us. There was one thing that I could think to do, but would it work? I could at least suggest it. Not that I really wanted to. But we had to do something.

"President Snow hates me enough already. There really isn't much that we can do. We have almost no time, only the interviews. That's the last chance that we have to do something before we have to see him at the party," I said, taking a deep breath before my suggestion.

There was no going back once I said it. I hadn't even thought about it until recently. Haymitch had said it himself. Every year they would bring us back here to broadcast the details of our romance and broadcast details of our private life. We would never be able to do anything but live happily ever after. Even if Cato and I fell out of love one day, I would never have a life with Gale, even if I wanted to. I would never be allowed to live alone. Cato and I would always have to be in love. The Capitol would insist on it. I would have had a few years anyways. But now... now I had hours.

"I mean, we could get married," I said softly, looking down at my feet.

Brutus laughed loudly and I looked up at him. He had been so quiet that I had almost forgotten that he was even there. It was the longest that I had ever heard him manage to keep his mouth shut. It had been a nice silence while it had lasted but I should have known that he would say something at my suggestion. Honestly I was shocked that they hadn't all started laughing. I'd almost wanted to laugh the second that I'd said it.

"That would be adorable. Let's everyone wear dresses and nice tuxedos as we wish the two little Victors luck in their new lives as a damn rebellion rages around them. But as long as they're the center of attention," he hissed.

I went to stand and give the Victor a piece of my mind but I was stopped by Cato before I could even get an inch off of the couch. I looked over at him and could tell that he was shocked, but it was only in his eyes. His face was blank. It bothered me more than it should have. I wanted to know what he thought of the whole situation. I needed to know what he thought about everything. How strongly he actually felt about me.

"Damn it, Brutus, shut up. That's not helping. Either of you," Haymitch said.

I turned my angry glare on my Mentor. I had actually given a good suggestion and he was angry with me for it? "What are you talking about?" I snarled irritably.

"I meant any serious suggestions, not you just trying to piss me off."

My anger got to me again and I had to resist chucking the glass in front of me at Haymitch. "I am serious, you asshole," I snapped.

"You are?" Haymitch asked slowly.

"Yes. If this is like you said back in District 11 than we're on this train forever. It's gonna happen eventually. And this would be one thing to take the people's mind off of everything in the Capitol and in the Districts. It keeps people focused on our story. Years from now or tomorrow, this will happen. So why not now?"

The room was silent for a moment as everyone processed my words. It wasn't something that they had been expecting me to say but it was the one thing that would save this tour. It might not even save the tour but it was something that I could give President Snow so that he didn't think that I was just blowing off his warning. I had to do something and this was the most drastic thing that I could think to do. It was the only thing that I could think to do.

"She's not wrong, Haymitch," Enobaria said. "It's nothing that any of the rest of us would have thought of. Things are getting bad. There are new martial laws being enforced in Districts 12 and 11."

"There's a martial law being enforced back home?" I asked.

"Yes. Just recently," Enobaria explained.

"Because of us," I muttered.

"Yes. Not to mention that District 8 has already had a small uprising. Things have calmed down for now but not for long. This is one way to keep people focused on gossip and not on the impending Games," Enobaria said.

The Quarter Quell wasn't going to be an easy Games. Haymitch thought about Enobaria's argument for a moment before finally nodding at her. "It does make a statement, I'll give you that. What about you, Cato?" Haymitch asked.

Cato finally looked up from his lap. He seemed to be thinking long and hard about this. "What?" Cato asked, almost blankly.

"This isn't something we can just do because we need to do it. I need you both on board. Are you okay with this?" Haymitch asked Cato, clearly worried that he would say no to the proposal.

Cato sighed and I closed my eyes. How hadn't I even tonight to mention this to Cato? I shouldn't have just sprung it on him. This wasn't the way that either one of us would have wanted to do something like this. It was supposed to be a private and emotional moment. He was going to say no. I knew that he would. He loved me but he wasn't ready to make a commitment like that yet. I didn't blame him. I wouldn't have said anything had I not thought that this was a last resort moment.

"She's right," Cato finally said. My gaze shot over to him quickly. Was he really going to say yes to this? "This is only going to end one way. Yeah, sure, let's do it."

My breath escaped me. No matter what I hadn't thought that this was really going to happen. Not for years. Maybe not ever. But I was really going to be engaged. I was going to get married to Cato. It didn't bother me but it was weird. I had figured that it would eventually come but I didn't think that it would be this way. And under such serious circumstances. Normally it was a sweet and memorable moment that a couple got engaged. Not an intense moment between six people that all wanted to save the lives of thousands of people.

"Then I'll make sure that Caesar Flickerman knows to leave a little time for Cato to propose at the end of the interviews. Try and act surprised, Aspen," Haymitch said.

"I will."

"Get to bed everyone. It's been a long past two weeks and these next two days aren't going to be any shorter," Haymitch said.

Nodding softly at Haymitch I stood from my seat and allowed Cato to lead me out of the living room. We were passing on our way through a tunnel and I sighed as we walked past the windows. They were some of the few that let us look outside of the train windows and into the tunnel that we were passing. It was pitch black. The only way that we could see was through the little hall lights. As we both headed back to my room I caught a quick glimpse of a red painting on the side of the tunnel. It had looked like a bird. It had looked like my Mockingjay pin.

"Did you see that?" I asked Cato, praying that I wasn't really going insane and he had seen the painting too.

He turned to me with a confused look on his face before turning back to the window. I was starting to wonder if I had imagined it. "What?" he asked.

"Nothing. I was just imagining things. I must be more exhausted than I thought that I was."

We continued to walk and I waved him off. There was no sense in worrying him. We already had too many things to think about. I didn't want to make Cato even more concerned. If he didn't have to worry that would make me feel better. I did that enough for both of us. The door to my room hissed open once we arrived and I stared at the bed, knowing that it would be almost impossible for me to get any sleep tonight. Not when I knew what was waiting for me once I got to the Capitol.

A moment of happiness that I was sure would be obscured by something. It always was. The engagement would probably be a nice moment but I knew what was sure to happen right after. Now it was even worse. Cato wasn't just my boyfriend, or whatever he had been before. He was going to be my fiance when I was with Seneca. I groaned and jumped back into the bed to let the pillows smother me. The one good thing that I could say for the Capitol was that they sure did know how to make you comfy.

I grabbed the remote on the table from its holster and pushed the button that I knew would turn the bland grey wall into a forest. It did as commanded and I smiled softly. It looked so much like District 12 that I half expected Katniss or Gale to appear. The bed shifted as Cato took his spot next to me. Tomorrow was like to be a long day but at least I wouldn't be stuck in an awkward silence. I didn't want the proposal to make Cato think of me any differently but I was afraid that he would start acting differently.

"Aspen," Cato called softly. I turned to him. "Why did you do it?"

My chest tightened at his words. The look on Cato's face was heartbreaking and I nearly broke down just at the sight of him. He looked utterly betrayed and I knew that it was because he thought that the only reason that I had suggested the proposal was because it was the one thing that would save us. And that had been most of my motivation behind it. But there was also the whole thing that I really did love him. Being married to him wouldn't have bothered me.

"It was the right thing to do. You know that. Our job is exactly what President Snow told me. We have to keep people blind to the real problem. And right now that means that we have to keep people from thinking about the next Games," I said.

"I know."

"Plus you know as well as I do. This was bound to happen eventually," I added on.

The answer seemed to make him content but I knew that questions were swirling around in his head. The main one being whether or not I really loved him. I wish that he knew for a fact that I loved him but I understood that he didn't. With the cameras around us constantly it was hard to know when I was actually telling the truth or when it was all just an act. Sometimes I had the same problem when it came to his words and actions with me.

"Are you happy?" Cato asked softly.

Part of me was happy that I had found someone that understood me and loved me, but the smarter part of me knew that I wasn't happy. Not really. The part of me that happy and carefree was gone. She had died in the arena. "I don't think that I can really ever just be happy again," I told Cato honestly.

He nodded at me and his eyes shot down to the pillows. "I understand," he whispered.

"But I am as happy as I could be right now. I have you with me, someone that knows exactly what I went through."

"So you're happy with me?"

"So happy. You're one of the few things that still can make me happy."

"Good," Cato whispered.

"Look, I do love you and I don't mind doing this. I'm happy but only with you," I said, grabbing his hand.

He nodded at me and pulled me into his chest. I sighed at his warmth and let myself sink into him. He made me feel safe. Sometimes I thought that he was the only person that would ever make me feel safe again. "I think I know how you feel. You're one of the few people that can still make me smile," he said.

"That's pathetic."

He grinned. "Just like that," he said, pressing a kiss to my forehead.

"Are you okay?" I asked.

"I'm good. We're gonna be okay. This will be a good thing, Aspen. I promise. We might not be ready for this but we'll figure things out. We always do," he said.

This would end up being a good thing. But for now it was just one more hardship. "Yes. We do," I whispered.

"Can I ask you something?" Cato asked.

"Sure."

"Why did Snow come to your house? What is it that made him really think that we weren't in love?"

The kiss with Gale shot back through my mind. "It doesn't matter," I muttered.

"It does matter."

"No. It doesn't. This was bound to happen anyways. Snow wouldn't have thought that we were in love."

"Did something happen?" Cato asked.

But it would hurt Cato if I told him the truth of what had happened between Gale and me. "No," I said weakly.

"Something happened. What was it?"

He would keep asking so I took a deep breath and prepared to explain. "It was a few weeks after we got back home. I hadn't really gotten to see Gale and speak to him with everything that was happening. The cameras and whatnot. I knew that the Capitol didn't want to see us together. Not without you around. They wanted Gale far away. So we didn't talk to each other until the cameras had gotten everything that they needed and retreated back to the Capitol. I missed Gale. He's my best friend. I got to talk to Katniss and Prim but not him. So I went out to our meeting spot in the woods. I waited for hours and he never showed up. I was heartbroken. I thought that he didn't care about me anymore.

"But eventually I turned around and he was there. We hugged and laughed when we sat down together. We hunted and got our traps together since he won't take money from me to get food. Now I help him while he works. It's part of our deal. Katniss let us have the day together since she still saw him. We were sitting together and talking about everything. Not the Games and not his new job in the mines. No. We were talking like we used to talk before the Games. It gave me a glimmer of hope that we might have been able to go back to our old friendship. But right as I was about to leave I hugged him and he just... he surprised me. He kissed me."

I stopped long enough to try and gauge Cato's reaction. But he gave me none. "I kind of avoided Gale after that. We still see each other and we're still friends but it changed things. When President Snow came to visit me he asked about Gale. He told me that he knew about the kiss. There must be cameras in the woods. That has to be how he knows. He threatened me about it. He told me that he would whip Gale to death and force me to watch if it happened again. I can't let that happen," I muttered.

A long silence passed. "Was that the first time that he kissed you?" Cato asked.

"No. He kissed me when we said goodbye before the Games. I thought that it was on impulse at the time. But when he kissed me that time he told me that he had to do it. That the first one wasn't on impulse," I said honestly.

"I knew that he was in love with you."

"I'm sorry."

"Don't apologize."

"You're not angry?" I asked, surprised.

Cato laughed humorlessly. "I'm not happy. I don't really want you kissing someone else." I cringed at the thought of Seneca Crane tomorrow night. "But I understand. Honestly, I kind of have to. You've said it yourself. You grew up with Gale. Probably thought that you were going to marry him?" Cato asked.

"Yeah. I did."

"Did you feel anything?" Cato asked.

"Guilt," I said honestly.

"Because of me?"

"I love Gale to death. He's my best friend. With time I could probably fall in love with him. But it wasn't like this. I fell in love with you faster than I thought was possible. Harder, too. I love Gale, but I'm in love with you."

"Well... I know why he's in love with you."

"I'm not really happy that he kissed me and changed everything but he's still one of my best friends. I can't have something happen to him because I was stupid and didn't warn him. Because I didn't say how much you meant to me. I should have let him know that it wasn't an act. Now I've ruined that friendship and President Snow is the one that thinks it's an act."

"We just have to convince him. I don't want your friend dead," Cato said.

We shared a quick kiss. "Thank you," I whispered. "No... No girls have kissed you, have they?"

"Would you be jealous?" he asked, a teasing note to his voice.

"Honestly? Yes."

He smiled down at me. "Then you know how I feel. If your friend kisses you again, I'll kill him," Cato said.

We both snorted as Cato gave me another lingering kiss, long enough for our shirts to be displaced. When I finally looked back at him I smiled softly. I'd meant what I said. I was so in love with Cato that it wasn't even funny. He was everything to me. But I did still care about Gale and what happened to him. I did love him. Just not like this. Cato ran his hands underneath my waist and I smiled into the kiss. I just had to appreciate now. I couldn't think of President Snow or Seneca Crane. Not now.

"Come on. We should go to bed," Cato said.

"You sure you want to sleep now?" I asked teasingly.

"Don't tease me. Go to bed before I take you up on your offer," Cato said.

For a moment I hesitated. Would tonight be the right time? Right after I'd confided in him about Gale... Probably not. But... "Cato?"

"Yeah?"

No. It wasn't the right time. Not quite yet. I wanted it to be the right time with Cato for the first time. Even if my real first time would be wrong. "Never mind. Goodnight," I said.

"Goodnight, Aspen. I love you," he said softly as we laid down and I closed my eyes.

"I love you too," I whispered.

Today had been hard. Tomorrow would be harder. What seemed like mere minutes later a loud knock sounded from the outside of my door and I rolled my eyes. The night couldn't have gone by that fast. I had barely slept a wink. I knew that it hadn't been later than midnight when we'd gone to bed and I had a feeling that it was around eight in the morning right now. Haymitch walked into my room and I sighed loudly before rolling over to shove my face into the pillows. I didn't want to talk to him right now.

"Alright, you two. We have a busy schedule ahead of us today. It will go similarly to the way that your first interviews with Caesar went before you ever went into the Games," Haymitch said. Like that preparation had gone so well for me. "You'll spend the morning prepping with us for the interviews, so Aspen you'll be with me and Cato you'll be with Enobaria and Brutus. Figure out the proposal."

"Alright," Cato said.

"At seven you'll both be lead to the interviews that will last about an hour. Aspen, with me," Haymitch said, with a tone that told me I had no choice.

Sighing loudly again, I rolled from bed and walked over to the dresser on shaky legs. I hadn't eaten much lately and it was getting to me. I could tell that I was still losing weight. It was something that I would have to fix soon. I was sure that President Snow would notice and threaten me. And there was always the chance that Seneca wouldn't like me like this and tell Snow that I was being disappointing. Cato departed from my room with a quick kiss.

"I'll see you before the interviews," Cato said.

"Have fun," I mumbled.

"Hey. You'll be okay. Tonight's gonna be nice."

"I'm sorry you have to do this."

"I'm not."

We smiled at each other again as Cato pressed another kiss to my lips. Digging through the dresser I found the same dark green shirt that I had liked before we had disembarked for the Victory Tour. It was slightly lose on me but I liked it. There was a pair of black leather pants next to the shirt and I squirmed my way into them. They fit tightly down my legs but they looked good. It would keep Effie off of my back for a few hours. Running the brush through my hair quickly I pulled it up into a messy ponytail and made my way into the hallway barefoot.

Effie was sitting in the living room in front of the television sipping her tea and I gave her a quick good morning. With a few exchanged words I waved goodbye to her and headed to Haymitch's room. The door slid open for me and shut behind me leaving my eyes to adjust to the darkness of the room. It was like no one had been in here in months. Of course, that was almost true. Besides the last few nights I knew that most of the time Haymitch fell asleep leaning over the bar. I didn't blame him. Not anymore. I took a seat on his bed and folded my legs under myself, sure that he wouldn't mind.

Not even a minute after I had made myself comfortable the door slid open to the room and Haymitch walked in flipping the lights on without a warning. I grumbled at the sudden intrusion of light but Haymitch merely laughed. He always had liked annoying me. He took a seat in the chair across from the bed and I knew that this was going to be like I was on trial. That was basically what these interviews would be. A trial to see if I could make things better.

"I assume that at this point you know that President Snow is not happy with you?" Haymitch asked.

"Of course," I said blankly.

"Tonight is your last chance to prove to him that you are trying to make things better, so I'd take that," Haymitch continued.

He continued to prattle off about what I should say, how I should be charming, and to remember that playing up the engagement would be key, but I had stopped listening long ago. I knew that he was trying to help me but my mind was elsewhere. Only a few miles from where the train was now was the one man who had occupied my thoughts for months. For weeks my nightmares hadn't been about the arena. They had been about him. The fact that in one night, tonight, he would be able to take away the last thing that was mine. Something that I didn't have to give away to anyone.

But in a matter of hours that last thing would be his too. My sanity, my life, my freedom. It was all his. It was all Seneca Crane's. It was all President Snow's. It was all the Capitol's. They had taken too much from me already. They couldn't take this from me too. It was mine. It wasn't something that I was willing to give up. I would figure something out. I had to figure something out. If I had just kept my mouth shut maybe it wouldn't have happened. Or maybe I would have been up for auction with other Capitol citizens. Maybe this was the best way out.

But there was something horrifying about it. Not just because of what I was doing. That in itself was bad enough. But I could eventually move past that. It was because of who I was doing it with. Seneca Crane, who had held my life in his hands. Who had sent mutts after me that had torn my skin off, who had sent a fire that had seared through my skin after me. Who had spent a month trying to kill me. Now I had to be in bed with him. Haymitch slammed his hands down onto the table and I jumped, my heart beating out of my chest. Apparently he had been trying to talk to me but I hadn't been listening to it.

"Earth to Aspen, damn it!" Haymitch yelled.

I sank back into my chair slightly. "Sorry," I muttered.

"I know that you don't want to be here. Well guess what, sweetheart, none of us do. So get your head out of the clouds and listen up. I'm trying to help you here," he hissed, dropping his head into his hands.

Part of me felt bad for making Haymitch's job even harder but he had to know that I had other things on my mind. Like what the hell was going to happen to me tonight. Where was Finnick when I needed him? He was hundreds of miles away in District 4. He was going to be of no help today. Unless he had managed to change things with Seneca, but I didn't think that he did. I need someone that was close by and the only person that's close by that I could tell would be Haymitch. Maybe I just had to tell him. He had nothing left to lose and I knew that he would be level-headed about the whole thing. And I trusted him.

"Do you know what Finnick's job is in the Capitol?" I asked, before I lost my nerve.

For a moment I wasn't sure if Haymitch had understood my question but when his face finally fell I knew that he had understood. And I knew that he did know what Finnick's job was. They were friends and Haymitch was a Victor as well, I wasn't surprised that he knew. And apparently others did this. Not Haymitch. I knew that. But chances were that he knew others that had to do this.

"Do you?" he asked me.

"Yes," I said hesitantly.

"Please tell me that you know just because he told you. There isn't another reason. Is there?"

A lump began to build in my throat. Tears rose in my eyes and I saw the horror flash over Haymitch's face. This wasn't what he had wanted for me. "Help me," I begged weakly.

"No... No... Come here."

That was all that he could say. There was nothing else that either one of us could say. My tears started as I leaned into Haymitch and buried my head in his shirt. He shushed me as my tears soaked the front of him. He wrapped his arms tightly around me and let me cry into them. He wasn't the type to be soft around me but this was one time that he could make an exception. Today he was allowed to act like a father and not just some asshole that ordered me around all the time.

"This isn't what I wanted for you. I wanted you to be safe when this was over. I wanted you to try and forget that this had ever happened," he mumbled into the top of my head.

Tears were flooding down my face as I allowed myself the brief moment of weakness that I hadn't shown in months. He softly moved his hands through my hair and my mind raced. What the hell was going to happen tonight? I needed Haymitch to help me here. I wasn't going to be able to get through it myself.

"What do I do, Haymitch?" I breathed out heavily.

He pulled back from me and watched me closely. "Do you know who it is?" Haymitch asked.

"Seneca Crane."

Haymitch's face fell even further, if that was even possible. "What?" he asked softly.

"What happens tonight if he tries to bring me back to his apartment? I'm not ready for anything like that. Especially not with Seneca Crane," I cried loudly. "The man tried to kill me! Why is this happening to me? I only wanted to live, I only wanted to get back to my family."

Haymitch nodded and grabbed my face so that I looked up at him. "I know you did, but that isn't what these Games are about. They follow you for the rest of your life. Now you listen to me," he said. I managed to get my emotions under control. I was still sobbing but it wasn't quite as loud. "I'm going to take care of Seneca Crane."

"Can you stop this?" I asked.

"I'm going to do everything that I can. This isn't gonna happen to you. I promise, okay, Aspen?"

"Please."

"It won't happen. I swear. You should have told me about this."

"I couldn't. Snow and Crane warned me that they would kill someone I cared about if I told anyone about this. It was my punishment for the Games. For what I did. Snow told me that it was the reason that Crane was still alive. To break me," I sobbed.

"So that's why they didn't kill him," Haymitch muttered, more to himself than me. "Don't worry about it, I have to talk to him anyways."

"About what?" I asked.

"It doesn't matter. For now, just focus on the interviews. One step at a time, sweetheart. Can you do that?" Haymitch asked.

"Y - Yes."

"Good. Now when you get up there you be thankful for the hospitality of the Districts and be understanding of the grieving families. Got it?"

"Yes."

"Good. Then Cato will propose to you and you act as surprised and happy as you can. Overdo it. Overdo it in every way possible."

"Okay."

So we went to working on everything that was going to happen today. We chatted back and forth about everything that Cato and I were going to say during the interview. But it was a little hard to keep myself on topic. We kept drifting back and forth to Seneca Crane as my mind was only there. I would have to try and forget about it during the interview. I knew that I would, considering that the crowd would distract me. I also knew that there were other things that I had to do once we got to the Capitol. And that wasn't going to be far away.

Out the small window of Haymitch's room I could see the buildings of the Capitol rising in the distance. The first time that we had arrived here I had been a bundle of nerves and Peeta had been at my side. Cato had been the boy that I had told myself that I had to kill and most of the Tributes were just numbers to me. I had thought that I wouldn't be returning home and I had been wondering if Gale and Katniss hated me back home. I had hoped that Prim wouldn't watch me during the Games and I had wondered what my parents would have thought of me. My how things had changed in just a few measly months.

In fact it had only been about six months since I had set foot in the Capitol. Really it was closest to five and a half months. That was hardly any time at all yet I had changed so much. I was nothing like the girl that had shared the bread with Katniss and Gale in the woods that morning. I was so much different these days. The girl that had been an avid hunter was now too screwed up from the Games to even set foot in the forest without getting nervous. Weapons were something that I didn't like handling anymore. The only reasons that I did was to keep Gale and his family fed.

The people that I had thought would be my greatest enemies had turned out to be some of the most important people to me. I had thought that I would be alone for the rest of my life but now I was about to be engaged. I had thought that if I ever did get married it would be to Gale Hawthorne. But now I was getting married to the boy that I had sworn that I would kill, Cato Hadley. The monster from District 2. But I knew that he was better than that. Then there was Seneca Crane. What the hell could I think about that man? Nothing. There was nothing that I wanted to think about him. He was dead to me.

Haymitch was shuffling around papers and I happened to catch the corner of them as they slipped from the folder that he had in his hands. It had the marking of the number thirteen. What was Haymitch up to? Probably nothing good. He shoved the papers back into his folder and nodded at me to leave the room. I did as told and walked out into the living room where Cato was waiting with the rest of his team. Brutus seemed to be steaming over something and Enobaria had a shit-eating grin on her face. Clearly there had been an argument between the District 2 Victors. But what else was new?

Cato took a spot next to me and I gave him a soft smile. Despite the fact that everything that had happened made me feel like I could throw up. Effie came teetering out on her insanely high heels and I couldn't help but laugh. She handed me a pair of new black boots and I thanked her softly before slipping them on. I looked like a fluffed-up version of a District 12 resident. It was nice but I still preferred the beaten and worn boots that were sitting in my house back in District 12.

"We're here!" Effie chirped, as she clapped her hands together. "Welcome back to the Capitol, Aspen. I'm sure that everyone is so happy that their favorite Victor is back! Don't be nervous dear. Trust me, they'll love you."

Risking a small glance sideways at Cato I could tell that it had bothered him that Effie had completely ignored his presence. The Capitol people might have liked me but the Capitol officials liked Cato. He wasn't the one that had suggested that we should kill ourselves and leave the Capitol without a Victor. Admittedly it was not my smartest move.

"Yeah, I'm sure they've really missed my charming personality. How sweet of them. If only the feelings could be returned," I hissed under my breath, hoping that Effie hadn't heard me.

A small snort came from my side and I shook my head at Cato's laughter. "And you wonder why you're always in trouble," he said.

I rolled my eyes as we pulled into the station. "I am not always in trouble," I said. _Liar_.

The train doors slid open and my mouth nearly dropped at all of the reporters. If I had thought that there were a bunch of reporters when we had gotten here the first time or left after the Games I had been dead wrong. There must have been at least three hundred cameras flashing at us. Cato grabbed my hand quickly and I found that I was reluctant to let his hand go. He pressed a small kiss against my mouth and the roar of the Capitol citizens only grew.

"I'll see you at the interviews," he whispered.

"See you there."

We hung back for a little while to watch him disembark from the train. The roar of the crowd grew and I rolled my eyes as Haymitch placed his hand on my lower back and pushed me out through the doors. I wanted to run away and leave but I managed to steel myself. My feet seemed to be glued to the train but one heave from Haymitch and I found myself walking on the carpet, a faux bright smile plastered on my face. As much as I would have rather spit in their faces I knew that I had to appease them.

Cameras were flashing all around me but I merely smiled and waved. I had already made a mistake the last time that I was on the walk by stopping to say hello to Gale, the little boy. That had been a damn disaster. And not one that I intended on repeating. I waved to a man that blew me a kiss and winked at another that called out compliments. I could see myself in the reflection of the camera lenses and it pained me to look at them. I looked so happy on the outside but you could see it in my eyes. I was angry and I was broken. They were just blank pits.

We finally walked through the doors to the Remake Center and I gave a happy wave to Cinna who was standing across the room. The Prep Team were missing and I couldn't help but to wonder where they had gotten off to. Not that I minded. I did like the quieter air with Cinna. I didn't bother to say goodbye to Haymitch and Effie before stalking off with Cinna, desperately hoping to get away from the cameras that were still flashing behind us. We walked through the halls of the Remake Center and I nearly shuddered as I remembered how nervous I had been here the first time.

Peeta had laughed at me because I had been so afraid and disgusted by my Prep Team. I smiled slightly at the memory but a sharp pain shot through me at the memory of the baker's boy. I missed him. A huge part of me wished that he was still here. Cinna led me through familiar hallways until we came up on a door that I knew well. It was the door to his private office. He opened it up and let me step inside. Once the door was closed I turned to the dark skinned man and gave him a tight hug that he easily returned.

"Hey, Cinna," I said into his ear.

He chuckled softly. "Hello darling," he said.

I hadn't seen him much over the last few days. "Please tell me you have a plan for tonight?" I asked.

"I do. Since the proposal I've been planning something for tonight. It'll work."

"I think you're really my last resort. I've myself look terrible over these past two weeks. The Capitol is so materialistic so I think that you're the one person that can make me look good at this point."

Despite the fact that he was a new fashion designer but his personal style hadn't changed at all. He was still in all black clothing and he still had his signature gold eyeliner. Same old Cinna, different me. He shook his head at me and led me over to the chair where he could get to work on me. I figured that there was lots that he wanted to do.

"You have such little faith in yourself when you really have no idea what a wonderful person that you are," Cinna said.

"I'm a horrible person."

"Now that's not true. If people don't love you than they have no idea of what a wonderful person they are missing out on. I thought that you did wonderfully on the Victory Tour."

"Were we watching the same tour?"

"With what they gave you to work with at least," he corrected.

That was more like it. I had never seen a worse Victory Tour than the one that I had been on. But still I appreciated his words. I nodded at him and leaned forward as he pulled my hair up into a ponytail and went to heating one of the tools that was on the counter. One that I had never seen before. It looked like a torture device - as many things in the Capitol did - but I trusted Cinna.

"Thank you. I wish that you could have been with me more. As nice as it is to have Haymitch and Cato sometimes I need an unbiased opinion. Cato loves me and Haymitch I know looks at me like the daughter that he never had. You're just my friend. For now that's what I really need," I said.

He gave me a sly smile. His eyes narrowed slightly the way that I knew people's always did whenever they got an idea. I saw the look in Haymitch and Cato all the time. Even in Finnick, Brutus, and Enobaria. Effie of course was too clueless to ever have an idea like that. Cinna on the other hand always had a level head and almost never schemed. So what had changed? And why was everyone suddenly looking and seeming so suspicious? Something had to be going on but naturally I was being kept out of the loop. Damn them.

"No matter what happens, Aspen, I will always be your friend. Remember that," Cinna said.

I knew that he was a friend and I knew that he was loyal. That was the type of person that he was. "You're my friend too," I said softly.

"Those that are loyal to you will always be. Even in their smallest actions they are loyal to you."

There was the faintest shimmer in his eyes. For a moment I mulled over his words. What did he mean? Haymitch was my Mentor. Nothing that he did was little. Everything that he did for me or told me to do was to make a big move. Effie was the same way. Everything that she told me to do was for my own good. Finnick might have worked but he really only personally helped me. He was there to be a voice of reason. Cato couldn't really work either. He had been willing to kill himself for me. That wasn't exactly a small move. So what the hell was a little move? Who did Cinna mean? I scoffed loudly. Cinna was obviously getting a kick out of the fact that I had no idea what he was talking about.

"You have to be so cryptic, don't you?" I asked.

He laughed and I smiled as he began to pin sections of my hair back. As I watched his fingers move I wondered how he had gotten so good at it. But then again, people could always ask how I had gotten so good at knife throwing. Practice.

"I've missed that charming sense of humor that you have."

"I don't have a good sense of humor."

"You make me laugh."

"Then you must be as dark as me," I teased.

"I'm sure that Cato enjoys all of the little loving jabs at his personality, doesn't he?"

I giggled slightly. I had loved to pick on Cato during the Games and he had loved to pick on me too. It was one of the little ways that we used to like to get to each other. "He gets me back," I said.

"Are you happy with him?" Cinna asked suddenly.

My face fell slightly and I glanced up at Cinna. He wasn't looking at me but down at my hair. I hadn't even noticed that there was a cup of tea. Smiling at it slightly I raised it to my lips and took a small sip. It was just as it always was. Lemon. My favorite. I set the cup down and smiled a bitter smile at my lap.

"What do you know? He asked me the same thing last night," I scoffed loudly.

I caught the sympathetic look that Cinna shot me. I shook my head at him. I didn't want sympathy. That was the last thing that I wanted right now. "What did you say?" Cinna asked.

"I am happy with him. I just hope that he believes me," I said softly.

It hadn't been until then that I had realized how uncomfortable I was with Cato. It wasn't like he made me uncomfortable. I was completely comfortable around him. The problem was that I wasn't sure that he knew that I really did love him. President Snow had sure as hell made it sound like the only reason that I liked him at all was because he had been my ticket back home. Which he had been. I wasn't stupid enough not to realize that. So I had used it in some ways. But that wasn't really the case. I knew that I loved him and I could only pray that he knew that too.

"I'm sure that he believes you. He would be a fool not to. You threatened to kill yourself because you couldn't bring yourself to lose him," Cinna said.

That was true but he could also see it as acting. That was the way that President Snow saw it. "But he knows that I did use him from time to time. With the medicine after the wolf attack and to get away from the Careers," I muttered.

"You saved his life at the beginning of the Games. Anyone with eyes could see that the two of you fell in love during the Games. After all, he wasn't what you were expecting," Cinna said, throwing my words back in my face.

"I suppose you're smart enough to know where that one was coming from."

"Of course. Why are you happy with him?" Cinna asked.

Instead of working with my hair this time he was actually looking at me. It was one of the few times that he stopped working long enough to speak to me. I sighed and forced myself to keep his stare. He didn't look angry. He more looked curious. I didn't blame him. The whole thing was an odd story. We were the two that both promised that we would kill the other yet we had fallen in love.

"I've asked myself that question so many times," I said, with a small chuckle. "You know, I never meant to fall in love with him. All I wanted was to kill him. Hell that was all that I told myself for a while. But I fell for him. He was the surprise that I never wanted. All of my life I thought that I would marry my friend Gale. It wouldn't have been bad. He would have given me what I wanted and he would have always treated me better than I deserved. But I couldn't imagine spending the rest of my life with him."

It broke my heart to see that my plans had changed so much but it was true. I couldn't spend my life with Gale. I loved him and always wanted him to be with me but I couldn't marry him. "That happens," Cinna said softly.

"Not to say that I don't want him in my life," I added, almost as a last-minute thought.

Cinna's hands went back down to my hair and I watched as he raised the tool to my hair. But naturally just as he laid in in my hair the chair was turned and I could no longer see myself. Cinna was such a tease. Even now he wouldn't let me see his work before he was finished. All I could feel was that the tool was extremely hot. It was like the one that curled my hair but it was flat instead.

"You speak about your friend very fondly," Cinna said.

"As angry as he makes me I am very fond of him."

"I can see that even though you don't romantically love him, you do hold more love for him than most people in the Capitol hold for their spouses," Cinna said.

My eyebrows knotted. That was terrible. It was one of the moments that I wished that I could have seen my parents. I would have loved to see how much they loved each other. I had never even seen the way that Ms. Hawthorne and had interacted with her husband and I had only briefly seen the way that Mr. Everdeen interacted with his wife. Although people had told me that my parents had been desperately in love since they were children.

"That's sad. At least I do love my future spouse. He's everything that I never thought that I wanted. He can match me whenever I decide to be an ass to him," I said jokingly.

Cinna laughed softly. "I'd imagine that's frequently?"

"Yes. It is. He never leaves my side. He always wants to make sure that I'm okay first. He isn't the traditional type of person to love. He doesn't like flowers or constant confessions of love. But he loves me and I know that. I love him too," I said, with a stupid smile on my face.

Cinna was staring at me with a sweet smile and I couldn't help but to blush and laugh slightly. It made me feel like a little girl whenever I started talking about Cato. It was how I had always thought that love was supposed to work. It was so different than anything else that I had ever known. I grabbed my tea cup back and hid my face in it. Cinna's gaze was piercing and I found myself sick of feeling like a little girl. Although it was better than falling apart at the seams like I had been lately.

"Think about that while you're up on that stage," Cinna said.

"I will," I said determinedly.

"Remember this, Aspen. You could do much worse than Cato Hadley."

"That's true."

"And he could do no better than Aspen Antaeus."

A bright smile fell over my lips. After that comment we had fallen into a comfortable silence. I allowed Cinna to work and I sank back into the chair as I started to think about everything that had happened to me lately. It had been a lot. I thought back home and wondered how the Everdeen's were doing. They would still be getting food and I'd left them a good amount of money to keep them for the three weeks that I would be gone. Hopefully nothing had gotten back to them yet. I prayed that President Snow would give me tonight to figure everything out and pacify him. That would be a good thing.

They didn't need to know about what had been happening lately. I couldn't help but to wonder what the two girls thought of me right now. Hopefully Prim hadn't been around when the two men during the tour had been shot. I didn't want her to see anything like that. But I knew Katniss. She had enough sense to take her sister out of the room. And the Capitol likely hadn't even shown it. They would be none the wiser unless I told them. Although Katniss probably knew that I wasn't okay. She was like a mother in that sense. She always knew when I was really doing okay and when I was only trying to appease her.

She would likely be the first person to check how I was once I got back home. And of course she would be the first person to slap me for what I was about to do. Prim on the other hand would want all of the gossip and would want to throw a party. If it wasn't Katniss that got to me first it would definitely be Gale. Actually he wouldn't just stop with a little slap. He would more than likely knock me on my ass. Not that I wouldn't deserve it. This whole thing was my fault. The uprising in District 11 had been my fault. The proposal was only happening because I had suggested it.

Everything that was going on right now was because of me. Maybe what I really needed right now was time to talk with Gale. Not thinking about our kisses or Cato or anything of the sorts. I just needed to talk to him. Despite the fact that he wasn't overly emotional he was a good person to talk to. He had a nonobjective view on things and he would tell you things the way that you needed to hear. Of course that might be the wrong way to go about things right now. I didn't want him dead because I couldn't keep my mouth shut. I just hoped that he wouldn't hate me after tonight. _I'm sorry Gale, I have to do this_.

Part of me had always known that he had feelings for me and I definitely had to admit that I had some feelings for him too, but I wasn't sure what they were. They weren't the same type of feelings that I had for Cato. All that I knew was that I loved Gale and I couldn't imagine losing him. Of course I could beg and plead with him as much as I wanted that I still loved him but I could never tell him the real reason that I my engagement was happening. _I have to pacify President Snow in order to save your life_. It wasn't something that I could say.

I couldn't believe that this was the one thing that was coming out of this stupid trip. A marriage. I had come into the Victory Tour thinking that the only thing that I would have to do would be to give some simple speeches and thank people but it had turned into so much more. It had turned into me losing the last bit of myself to Seneca Crane and Cato. The Cato part didn't really bother me. I was getting married and there was nothing that I could do. It wasn't like it pissed me off or broke my heart that I was getting married to Cato. I loved him and was happy that we were going to be together. I just hated that it was now.

Honestly I hated that it was under the pressure of the Capitol. What would even happen? Would we get engaged tonight and then get married before the Quarter Quell? Probably. What would happen after that? There was only a few options. Either Cato would move to District 12, which was highly unlikely, or I would be forced to move to District 2, which was much more likely. District 2 was nice but I wouldn't ever see my friends anymore. The Mellark's, the Everdeen's, the Hawthorne's. Not to mention Haymitch, Greasy Sae, and Madge. I would never see them again. Any of them. And I knew that I couldn't handle that.

No part of me wanted to leave my home. Maybe I would be able to put it off for a while. A few years, if nothing else. Just because of my age. But there was one thing that would come before the proposal. The interviews. Something that I definitely wasn't looking forward to. I knew that Caesar Flickerman would question me on everything that had happened. Especially in District 11. And that wasn't something that I really wanted to talk about. I had accidentally gotten a man killed. It wasn't really my fault but I knew that President Snow would be sure to make it look like it was. That was the kind of man that he was.

He would be there tonight. Watching me to see if I would make a mistake. I knew that he was fishing for me to screw myself over and sentence my family to die but I would be sure that that would not happen. He could kiss my ass. I knew that I had one last chance tonight to make things right. I would take that chance and I would be sure that President Snow knew that I was serious about this entire thing. I wasn't just going to lay down and die. I didn't do it in the Games and I wouldn't do it now. He was wrong about many things but he was right about one thing. The Games were just games. This was serious. And so was I.

My little pep talk to myself died down though as I thought about what was to come after the interviews. I didn't matter how well I did during them or if I pacified President Snow. No matter what happened tonight I knew that my night would lead me back to one man. It would lead me to one bed. And it wasn't the man or the bed that I wanted to be near. Tonight I would be forced to see Seneca Crane and do whatever it was that he wanted. My skin crawled as I thought about what he might request of me and I felt myself start to get sick.

Swallowing the bile in my throat down I coughed slightly. I wasn't even sure if I was ready for Cato to touch me like that yet although my body seemed to think that I was well past ready. I wasn't shocked. I had already been nineteen for five months. Had my parents lived through the Games they would have already had me for one and three years respectively. And here I was, having really done nothing other than heavily kiss. I knew that I didn't want my first time to be with some guy that had tried to kill me only months earlier. Although thinking about that statement, I realized how strange it truly was.

It all led up to one moment. All of this. It would lead up to the first time that I would do my official job. The one that people were actually allowed to know about. I would finally be a Mentor for the first time. I would try to make sure a young girl and a young boy would live through the Games and it would tear me apart when they died. This year would be even worse. It was the one Games that people dreaded more than usual. The Quarter Quell. Every twenty years the Games were vamped up so that viewers wouldn't get bored. That was what the official description of it was.

Really it was just a way to make the Districts feel even weaker for a year. The Quarter Quell was notorious for being extremely difficult and having more brutal deaths than normal. In the first the Tributes had been selected by the District. The second was Haymitch's. Instead of one boy and girl from each District there had been two. That meant that there had been forty-eight Tributes that year. The twists on the Quarter Quell's had been written out for centuries into the future when the Games had first been initiated. I knew that President Snow's fingers were itching to read what the next Quarter Quell would be. The one thing that I knew the most was that if I had thought my Games were brutal then I knew nothing.

Cinna coughed lightly and I looked up from my spot on the pedestal. He had been leading me throughout the entire room for hours but I had been so involved in my own little world of worries that I really hadn't been paying much attention. I had just been acting as his doll. He gave the order for me to look and I opened my eyes already smiling brightly. My eyes were done in a bright red with a soft white fluffed over it. My lashes were dark and my face was nicely tanned, not needing any makeup. There were white crystals on the outside of my eyes and I turned slightly to watch them reflect the light.

My hair was pulled over all to one side and red and white diamonds were spread throughout it. My hair was completely straight and I assumed that that was what the torture looking tool was. My skin was dusted with a sparkly white powder and I noticed that it made me shimmer slightly. I looked at the dress and smiled again. It was a very Cinna type of design. It was extremely tight down the body but still easy to move in because of a small slit that went up to the top of my thigh. It was a soft red but underneath was a layer of white that wrapped around my body. It looked like a pattern but I couldn't tell what it was.

On my feet were heels and I smirked at the fact that they were relatively low. Smart Cinna. Maybe he knew that it would give me a chance to run when Seneca Crane came to collect me tonight. Maybe I could jam the heel through his leg. Anything to keep him away from me. I gave Cinna a small smile and a nod, knowing that he didn't want me to give him a hug and ruin his masterpiece. I was allowed to do that afterwards.

"It's perfect, Cinna. Just like it always is," I told him.

He gave me a grateful smile. "Thank you," he said.

But one thing was bothering me. Why had he put white into the dress. My colors were red and black. I had never been put in anything with white before. "White though? I've never seen you actually put white into the design. I like it, it's different," I said.

He gave me another smile. "I wanted to change it up," he said.

"It's a pattern. What is it?" I asked, as I stared in the mirror.

He was watching me with a cheeky grin. It was something good. He wanted me to be more than a pretty face for the Capitol. "I think you'll be able to figure that out. You're a smart girl," he said.

"Thanks," I said.

It was clearly something that meant something to me. I could tell but the look that he was giving me. I just wished that I knew what it was. Without another word Cinna placed his hand on my lower back and ushered me out of the room. I was so tired of being ushered everywhere like cattle but I knew that the man meant well. He was only trying to get me to do what I had to. As we walked out of the room I caught sight of myself in the mirror. I was standing on my side and as I turned to get a better look at myself I realized what exactly the pattern was.

Cinna stopped for just a moment to let me look. It was enough to make me snort loudly. It was a white bird in flight. It looked just like the bird that was on the pin that Madge had given me. The pin that was tucked under my pillow back home. It was a Mockingjay. I smirked at the design and nodded at Cinna as he dropped me backstage. I could hear Caesar getting the crowd ready and I sighed. Cinna gave me a wave and I smiled at him as he joined up with Effie and Haymitch along with Brutus and Enobaria. Cato came to stand next to me and I looked around us.

Besides our teams and a few Capitol people milling around the place was empty. It was nothing like the first time that I had seen it all those months ago. "It's so empty back here now," I said softly, trying not to make any noise.

"Yeah. It is," Cato said.

"Do you remember before the Games when everyone was here? Orders were being thrown back and forth and the Tributes were rocking back and forth nervously. The Careers were up there talking excitedly and we could hear the roar of the crowd. At the time it made me nervous, but now it only makes me angry," I hissed lowly, making sure that only Cato could hear me.

He was wearing a white tuxedo. He looked extremely clean and confident. The image of a perfect Victor. He smiled and brushed lightly over my lips. His joyful look faded quickly as he looked around and realized what exactly I had said. His frown marred his features and I found myself wishing that I had stayed quiet. I liked seeing his smile. It made him look so much better. He looked happier.

"It's like a damn graveyard. I remember everyone standing here. I remember gauging everyone and seeing how nervous they were," he said. It sounded like something that a power hungry Career would say. "I remember you."

"You were watching me?" I asked.

"You were the only one that I was watching."

"I was watching you too," I admitted.

"You had a steeled face on but I could see right through it. I knew that you were nervous and I knew that you were angry. I knew that you didn't want any of it. You just wanted to go home. I remember wishing that I was more like you."

I gave him a weak smile. "I didn't know that," I said.

"I never wanted you to know. I'm okay with you knowing now."

The two of us smiled at each other as I leaned in and gave him another kiss. Haymitch snapped at us quickly to save it for when we were on the stage. I grabbed Cato's hand and smiled at him before letting him lead me to the edge of the stage. This was it. I had to win these people over. We had to win these people over. We had one last shot. I had one last hour to fix every wrong that I had caused over the past two weeks. Let the Games begin.

"Ladies and gentlemen, you know them as our wonderful Star-Crossed Lovers!" Caesar Flickerman yelled. I rolled my eyes. "The world knows her as The Girl on Fire! He is her loyal lover!"

I couldn't help but to laugh. I had such a cool name and Cato just rode on my coattails. I could tell by the look on his face that he was thinking the same thing. "Remember. They still like you more," I said.

"Doesn't matter. I like you more."

"Please join me in welcoming the Victors of the Seventy-Fourth Hunger Games, from District 2 Cato Hadley and from District 12 Aspen Antaeus!"

The man that was keeping us behind stage held his arm up and ushered us out onto the stage. It was the first time that we had been allowed out at the same time. I was glad to have Cato to grab onto. The lights were blinding but I knew how to work through it. I smiled at the crowd and waved and blew light kisses. Giving Cato a small peck on the lips the crowd roared even louder and I faked a sweet laugh. Cato was smirking out at the crowd and playing the tough Victor. He wasn't waving but the women in the crowd were eating him up anyways. They adored him.

As we walked over to the chairs I caught sight of both Seneca Crane and President Snow in the President's Box. Snow raised his glass to me in a toast and it felt like I had a gun pressed against my temple. Seneca on the other hand sat still but his wandering eyes made me nearly vomit into the front row of people. Maybe it would match their hair. Turning away from the President and Seneca I gave Caesar a kiss on the cheek before taking my seat in the chairs. The man shushed the audience before turning to Cato and me, giving us a huge smile.

"Welcome, welcome. Well it has certainly been a long six months," Caesar said. We both nodded with small grins. _Not long enough_. "You both look wonderful."

"Thank you, Caesar," I said.

"It looks like we've put on a few pounds to get back to a healthy weight," Caesar continued.

Cato gave a look of mock horror. "Oh, does it show?" he asked, clutching his stomach.

We all laughed as I leaned over and gave him a peck on the lips. "You're as perfect as you always were," I said.

That sent the audience into a fit of hooting cheers. "No more than you," Cato said.

We were doing better than I'd expected. "Oh, we have missed you here so much! Cato, I remember a charming and tough man that knew what he wanted. And Aspen, I remember a nervous but strong girl that knew what she wanted," he said. I nearly throttled him. I wanted to go home! "My how much things have changed."

There was a bright smile plastered on his face. Every part of me wanted to vomit or slap Caesar or slap the fools in the audience that were cooing at us. They treated us like we were newborns that proud parents were showing off. They treated us like they had created us. Although essentially they had. The Games had destroyed us and then the Capitol made sure to build us back up. Not to the people that we were but to empty shells of the people that we once were. Puppets. Plastering my fake smile on my face I giggled slightly and grabbed Cato's hand, looking into his eyes with a far off stare.

"For the better," I said dreamily.

The audience erupted into cheers and Caesar cooed with them. Cato leaned over and pretended to whisper something into my ear, earning a fake laugh from me. "Oh, how sweet. We just love the idea of the two of you together. It's been too long without seeing you both. Don't you all agree?" Caesar asked the audience, garnering a loud cheer in response. _I could do the rest of my life without seeing the likes of you all_. "Oh, yes, we've been looking forward to this moment for months."

"So have we," Cato said.

"Enough of my babbling. Let's get to it! How was the Victory Tour for you two?"

I gave Caesar a wide smile and turned to him, trying to make sure that the Mockingjay on my dress was visible to the crowd. Probably not the wisest move on my part. "It was wonderful," I chirped brightly, knowing that it was what they wanted to hear.

"That's lovely to hear," Caesar said, grinning.

"We had a wonderful time," Cato added.

"It was everything that I had expected and more. I was shocked to see how loving the other Districts were and it was fascinating to see where the fallen Tributes had come from. Meeting their families was only an added bonus. It was so nice to get to speak with them and hear about the children that I didn't get a chance to get to know," I said, like I was trying to win over the heart of the nation.

Although that was essentially what I was clasped his hands together and gave me a bright smile. The audience seemed completely enamored with me and I smirked on the inside. I was doing exactly what President Snow wanted. But his face gave away nothing the few times that I had dared glance over at him. I couldn't tell if I was doing what he wanted or not.

"Oh, Aspen, you are quite the charmer," Caesar complimented.

"Not at all compared to you, Caesar," I teased.

"Oh! Cato, I can see how you fell for her so easily."

"She's a tough one to shake," Cato said. "Not that I'd ever want to."

"Lovely, lovely." Caesar's jovial mood quickly turned solemn as he looked back at me. "Now things got extremely heated in District 11. Aspen, I know that you were close to both of the Tributes. What was it like to see their home?" he asked.

My face flushed slightly and I let out a deep breath. I had known that this question would be coming. Haymitch had prepared me for it. But it didn't make it any easier to actually hear. I dropped my head to look at my dress and gathered my thoughts. Once I was sure that I was stable enough to answer the question I looked back up and met eyes with President Snow and Seneca Crane. Both were watching me like a hawk. They were just waiting to see if I could solve things or if I would make them even worse.

"It brought back hard memories and emotions for me. I loved them both and it tore me apart to see them go. But they will always be with me. It took me a long time to realize that. But I know that now," I said, without ever taking my eyes off of the pair.

Seneca merely smirked at me and shook his head which did nothing more than anger me. How dare he treat this like it was a joke? President Snow on the other hand was wearing an extremely irritated face. But as quickly as it had appeared on his face it had faded again. He was watching me with a straight face and nodded at me. I still couldn't tell what he meant.

"Very sweet," Caesar said. "I know that they are looking down on you and I guarantee that they are proud."

"I like to think that they are."

"Let's talk about your parents for a moment. What do you think that they would say if they were here?"

My face flushed and the breath left me. I hadn't been expecting something like that. I had been expecting him to ask me about the Victory Tour and how I was adjusting to life outside of the arena. I had already been asked about my parents in my initial interviews. I didn't think that they would come back into the conversation. I had been hoping that they wouldn't. I didn't really like talking about them. Not when I couldn't say much about them.

"Honestly, I don't know. I've thought about this question quite a bit though," I answered honestly. "But I've never really come up with an answer, and trust me, I wish that I had one. I never knew them and if they were here than that would mean that they would be Victors. Would that have made them different?" I knew that the answer was most definitely yes. They would have changed just like I had. "They're watching me from somewhere. I just wish I knew if they were proud or not."

My voice dropped off at the end. Cato laid his hand on top of mine and I smiled slightly. I could tell that under the facade that he had on for the Capitol right now he really felt for me. Caesar placed his hand on my knee as well and I smiled at both of them. Caesar really did mean well and Cato wasn't the monster that people claimed that he was.

"They're proud," Cato whispered, like it was only for the two of us to hear.

"Take it from someone who met your parents and was very fond of them both. They would be _very_ proud of you," Caesar said.

I couldn't help my voice from cracking. "Thank you, Caesar," I said weakly, grabbing his hand.

I could only hope that it was true. "Now, Cato, you seemed to have a fair bit of trouble in Districts 3 and 6. Care to tell us what that was about?" Caesar asked.

Cato's face remained strong but I saw the betrayal of emotion in his eyes. The question was getting to him almost as much as being there and hearing the families words had. "Well, I told the boy from District 6 that he would be my first kill in the arena after I thought that he had stolen my knife during training," he said. I would still protect Rue. "I was too happy to kill that kid during the Bloodbath. I didn't even take a second to think about it. And then there was the fact that I killed both of the Tributes from District 3. One didn't even deserve it. I snapped his neck because I was angry. It wasn't fair to anyone what I did."

His voice was strong despite the momentary weakness that his words portrayed. The audience seemed to sigh slightly at his confession and I knew that they were eating up every word that he said. His words were true but it wasn't like they really cared. They just wanted to be able to say that their Victors were strong and smart. That they cared. I had to stifle a scoff as Caesar began to speak once more.

"Well I'm sure that they know how regretful you truly are," he said.

"I'd like to think so."

"Now, on to happier things!" Caesar chirped. My heart began to pound. I knew what was coming but it still made me slightly queasy. "Cato, you mentioned to me earlier that you had something to say. Would you like to get it out?"

Suddenly I realized that he had no idea what Cato was going to say. None of them did. But it bothered me more than I would have liked to admit that I didn't know what he was going to say. Even more so that Katniss, Prim, and Gale would be in for quite the shock when they watched this. The audience were hanging on the edge of their seats and I could have sworn that some of them looked like they might fall out at any moment. This proposal might kill some of them.

"Yes, Caesar. I would love to," Cato said with a shy smile. He was good. "Aspen, I know these past two weeks have been hard on you. This last half year has been hard on you. But I want you to know that I'm here for you. I want to always be here for you," he said. I gave a soft smile. I knew that even though we were slightly being forced into this I knew that Cato meant every word that he was saying. "So I have a question for you. Aspen Antaeus, I love you more than anything and I always want to be with you. Will you marry me?"

"Oh my goodness," Caesar breathed out.

Cato dropped onto one knee and pulled a box out of his pocket. He popped it open and I covered my mouth when I saw that it was a ring. Now that one I hadn't seen coming. I had thought that it would just be a proposal by mouth. I didn't think that he had been given any time to pick out a ring. It was made out of a silver gold and had one small diamond in the middle. The band was shaped like a feather and I nearly laughed. A Mockingjay. I was a Mockingjay in every aspect of my life. Even in marriage. The ring was still beautiful though. I loved it. Nodding quickly at Cato, he stood with a bright smile on his face.

It was one of the few times that there was no smirk in sight. He was just smiling at me. He was just happy. _Overplay it, Aspen_. "Yes! Of course I will!" I chirped, jumping up and down.

Cato laughed slightly, as did Caesar, before slipping the ring onto my finger. It was a perfect fit. I didn't know how he'd gotten my ring size. I assumed that Cinna must have helped him with the whole thing. I gave Cato a quick kiss and the crowd erupted into cheers. Although a moment later I gave him a lingering one, remembering to overplay it. Caesar grabbed us together and gave us both long hugs, wishing us all of the happiness in the world. The people in the Capitol were ecstatic, Caesar was besides himself with glee, and shots of the Districts on the screen showed how happy everyone all over Panem was for their Victors. At least they weren't showing our homes, who likely would have been stunned.

President Snow himself made a surprise visit to congratulate us. He clasped Cato's hand and gave him an approving slap on the shoulder. He embraced me, enfolding me in the scent of blood and roses, and planted a puffy kiss on my cheek. When he pulled back, his fingers digging into my arms, his face smiling into mine, I dared to raise my eyebrows. They asked what my lips couldn't in front of the cameras. _Did I do it? Was it enough? Was promising to marry Cato enough to make you believe?_ In answer, he gave an almost imperceptible shake of his head.

In that one slight motion I saw the end of hope and the beginning of the destruction of everything that I held dear in the world. I couldn't guess what form my punishment would take, how wide the net would be cast, but when it was finished, there would most likely be nothing left. I should have been in utter despair. But I mostly felt relief. I could give up the overplaying it. The question of whether I could succeed in this venture had been answered, even if that answer was a resounding no. That if desperate times called for desperate measures, then I was free to act as desperately as I wished.

Only not here. Not quite yet. It was essential to get back to District 12, because the main part of any plan would include my mother, Katniss, Prim, and Gale and his family. And Cato and his family, if I could get him to come with us. He would be safe anywhere. But I needed him with me. I couldn't leave him. I added Haymitch to the list. They were the people I had to take with me when I escaped into the wild. How I would convince them, where we would go in the dead of winter, what it would take to evade capture, were unanswered questions. But at least now I knew what I had to do.

So instead of crumpling to the ground and weeping, I found myself standing up straighter and with more confidence than I had in weeks. One night with Seneca Crane would be worth it. I could vanish into the woods easily. No one would ever even know. Maybe I would have to leave Cato. Just to keep him safe and without knowledge of my plan. It would break my heart to leave him but he had to be safe. My smile, while somewhat insane, was not forced. President Snow finally silenced the audience.

"What do you think about us throwing them a wedding right here in the Capitol?" President Snow asked.

I pulled off girl-almost-catatonic-with-joy without a hitch. "We would love that," I said happily.

"Do we have a date in mind?" Caesar asked President Snow.

"Oh, before we set a date, we better clear it with Aspen's mother," President Snow said.

It was one of the wonderful things that Ms. Everdeen had done for me since coming home. After my family had greeted me at the train station there were a few questions allowed from reporters. Someone asked Ms. Everdeen what she thought of my new boyfriend and she replied that, while Cato was the very model of what a young man should be, I wasn't old enough to have a boyfriend. She followed with a pointed look towards District 2. There was a lot of laughter and comments about how he was in trouble from the press. I was just grateful that she'd sensed my hesitance to talk about Cato, when I didn't even know what was going on.

The audience gave a big laugh and President Snow put his arm around me. "Maybe if the whole country puts its mind to it, we can get you married before you're thirty," President Snow said.

"You'll probably have to pass a new law," I said with a giggle.

"If that's what it takes," President Snow said, with conspiratorial good humor.

Oh, the fun we two had together. Finally they ushered us off of the stage. Cato and I walked off of the stage hand in hand, both waving to the audience. I made sure to use the hand with the ring on it. Almost as quickly as the interviews had started they had ended. We walked down the stairs to get off of the stage and we were immediately greeted by our teams. Effie walked over to me first and fawned over the ring before giving Cato a small hug. Everyone was chattering excitedly about the new engagement but I could tell that one person was more on edge. Haymitch. He was looking all around us and I could tell that he was keeping an eye out for Seneca Crane.

He placed his hand on my lower back and began to nudge me towards the elevator. "You did well. Both of you. Now, come on. We need to get out of here before those vultures descend on you for pictures and personal interviews," he said.

We all nodded. _Nice cover, Haymitch_. But he was right. I didn't want any pictures. They could get enough from the interviews. "Haymitch, we should speak to some reporters," Effie said.

"Tomorrow. Not tonight," Haymitch snapped.

"I'm awfully tired, Effie," I said.

Cato looked confused but played into the game. "We should head upstairs. Plenty of time to talk at the party," Cato said.

Someone laid their hand on Haymitch's shoulders and I watched as he yanked away from them and continued to walk. "Sorry, we're busy! Wedding details and all," Haymitch called back.

The hand was laid on Haymitch's shoulder again and this time he was torn back. _That wasn't very nice_. I jumped slightly as Haymitch shoved me behind him. It was coming. I knew that it was. I gulped deeply when I saw that it was a Peacekeeper. Even though he had his visor on I could tell that he was staring right at me. I knew what this was for. Bile began to rise in my throat and I had to fight back tears. We were so close. The elevator was right there. But I should have known that I couldn't make it.

"Mr. Abernathy, I suggest that you move out of my way," the Peacekeeper ordered.

Still though, Haymitch kept his place in front of me. "She's tired. She can chat tomorrow," Haymitch snapped.

"Miss Antaeus, I have direct orders to bring you to speak with Mr. Crane. He insists that he needs to have a word with you. It shouldn't take too long."

"Okay," I whispered.

I moved forward to stand with the Peacekeeper and sighed when Haymitch followed. "Alone, Mr. Abernathy," the Peacekeeper said.

Haymitch slowly fell back. "It's okay. I'll see you soon," I said weakly.

Cato leaned over to Haymitch and I could practically feel the Peacekeeper smirking at us. "Not to worry, Mr. Hadley, we will have your fiancé back in no time," he said.

The Peacekeeper pushed me off to the side and I nearly tripped at the sudden shove. Grumbling profanities under my breath I followed him down the hallway, giving Cato a shy smile as I walked by. He grabbed my hand and I kept our fingers linked together as long as I could. Because he was the only one that I wanted to touch. He was the only one that I could bare to touch right now. I was too scared to touch anyone else. Especially not who I was going to right now. But I had to. My heart was thumping loudly in my chest as I walked through the hallway. I felt like everyone knew what was happening to me.

But I knew that wasn't true. There would be an uprising if the Capitol knew what President Snow was making me do. The Peacekeeper motioned me through a door and I nodded to him. The door slid open and I walked through, taking a deep breath. The door slid back closed behind me and I was left alone. I could try to get out of the room but the chances were that I would get shot before I got away from here. The room was mostly red with hints of black thrown around. I slowly made my way over to the couch and sat down, letting my foot tap roughly against the marble floor.

As much as I wanted to draw this out I was only alone for a minute before a door on the far end of the room slid open. Seneca Crane stepped through the threshold and my heart rate sped up even more than I had thought was possible. He seemed to sense my apprehension as he grinned at me and shook his head. I stood on instinct as he got closer to me and realized that my entire body was trembling. He laughed as he circled me and came to a stop in front of me. He terrified me.

"I appreciate what Cinna did with your outfit. Red really does look lovely on you," he said.

"Thank you."

"Although I'm not overly fond of the white on you. It makes you look a little too... innocent."

The marble on the floor shone and I looked at my own reflection. He knew that the white was a Mockingjay. He should know that I respected what the people of the Districts thought that I was. "The white is my favorite part of the dress actually," I said, with a brave smile.

Seneca laughed and shook his head slightly before turning from me and heading over to the bar. "Come now, Aspen, let's not be rude to each other. Take a seat please," he said. I remained standing. "I just wanted to congratulate you on your engagement."

"Thank you."

"You must be so excited. I'm sure that your friends will throw you a marvelous party when you get home. Of course, it will be nothing compared to the party tomorrow night."

They would slap me, not throw me a party. He handed me my glass and I watched as he sat in the chair next to mine. "I'm sure it will be lovely," I muttered.

"To a happy and healthy life for the both of you."

He clinked his glass lightly to mine and took a sip. I made sure that he swallowed it fully before I took the glass to my own lips. Whatever the drink was, it was expensive. That much I could tell from the funny taste. It had more in it than just the pure alcohol that Haymitch would give me. Although I liked the stuff that he gave me more. It was numbing. Although if I drank enough of this I might actually be able to stop feeling things. That was what I wanted.

"Funny coming from the man that fought so hard to kill me," I said. Seneca smiled at me as if we were the oldest friends. "You surprise me."

"Do I, now?"

"I thought that you wanted me all to yourself. But now you're congratulating me and toasting to me for my wedding. Have you had a change in heart?" I asked, hope swelling in my chest.

Seneca laughed and shook his head at me. "Of course not," he chirped, and the hope in my chest died. It would have been too good to be true. I should have known that it was just a child's fantasy. "I just enjoy watching you. You are such a good actress."

"Thank you. Haymitch tells me that my acting is lousy."

"It certainly can be. For President Snow, I mean, you are wonderful. The Victory Tour was an awful failure but this is good!" I narrowed my eyes at him. I wasn't fond of where this was going. "Once more people are in love with their darling Victors. Now that she's happy, they can be too," he said.

There were a million things that I wanted to say in that moment but none of them would have helped me. "Then I'm glad that I've pacified President Snow," I said.

Seneca smiled as he walked over to his couch. The air shifted and I knew that he was done chatting. "Why don't you have a seat?" Seneca asked.

"I'd prefer to stand."

"Another drink, then?"

"No, thank you."

Seneca let out an exasperated breath. "Aspen... I would like for tonight to be pleasant. Come now. Try and enjoy yourself. Are you sure that I can't offer you a glass of wine?" he asked.

"One, perhaps."

Seneca followed through. He walked over to the bar and grabbed me a glass to pour himself. "I must say. I don't think I've ever seen you mind your manners so well," he commented.

"I do have them, believe it or not."

Seneca walked back over and handed me the glass. He had one for himself. "Here you are."

"Thank you," I muttered.

"A toast. To your engagement. You looked very happy earlier tonight."

"I was happy."

It was a half-sneer. Because I had been happy. Now I was heartbroken again. Because I was actually here and doing what I couldn't believe I was about to do. Seneca gently brushed a stray hair out of my face and tilted my head up. He leaned down and pressed a lingering kiss against my mouth. I forced the tears to stay at bay and tried to remind myself that I was doing this for my friends and my family. To keep them all safe. Seneca pressed us together for a few moments before backing away from me.

"You look absolutely gorgeous," Seneca said, his fingers tracing the neckline to the dress.

"Thank you," I said stiffly.

"Aspen... Don't make this harder. Smile for me. I do like your smile," he said.

"Seneca. Please, just let me say this one thing. Let me say it and I swear to you that I will say nothing else. If you have any feelings for me at all, if you even care the slightest bit about me, please let me leave. Let me work my way up to this. Let's start slowly. I - I haven't done... this," I said desperately.

"I know. And I'll be slow tonight. You have my word."

He wasn't going to let me leave. No matter how much I wanted it. His hands gently pressed against my waist. "O - Okay. Where - How do we start?"

"Just follow my lead."

He was trying to be comforting but I was petrified. I wanted to leave more than anything. My tears were now threatening to fall. But I couldn't. Because I knew what would happen. I knew who would die. My entire stomach was contorting with pain. Seneca walked up behind me and found the zipper on the back of the dress. I bit my tongue as he slid the zipper down and gently pried open the fabric of the dress. As much as I wanted to hold it up I knew that it would be a good idea to loosen up my arms and let it fall to the floor. So I did and it pooled around me.

Seneca motioned for me to twirl. It was nothing like Cinna. "Beautiful. Now it's your turn. Remove my jacket," he instructed.

Nodding blankly I placed my shaking hands on the front of his jacket and easily slid open the first two buttons. The entire time I was sure that my shaking hands were going to end up tearing the buttons off of the jacket. But somehow I didn't. Seneca watched me the entire time as I opened the front of the jacket and gently pushed the piece of fabric from his body. The jacket slid off of his shoulders and to the floor. I was sure that I was about to end up on the floor from fainting.

My legs were weakly shaking as Seneca grabbed my waist and brought me against him. I wanted to leave. I couldn't do this. But I had to. Someone would end up dead. Someone from Cato or Gale's family. They wouldn't start small. They would hit the most painful spot first. And I couldn't do that to either one of them. So I tilted my head back, praying that some of the alcohol would get into my system and give me that fuzzy feeling. I didn't want to remember this. I didn't even want to know what I was doing.

"Now the shirt," Seneca instructed.

Weakly nodding I started to slowly untuck the shirt from his pants. It was really going to happen. He wasn't going to stop me. He was going to let it happen. Finnick was wrong. Haymitch was wrong. They had tried but it wasn't going to work. _Do it for Cato. For Gale. For Katniss and Prim_. My hands gently worked at the buttons as I slowly undid them. It wasn't long before Seneca grabbed my hair and pulled me back in for a lingering kiss. It was one that would have made me melt if Cato had done it. Now I wanted to cry.

It was almost painful. I was sure that I was about to cry. Because this - my five months of fear - was finally coming to a head. I couldn't believe it. Seneca stepped back and allowed the shirt to fall off of his frame. I forced myself to keep my eyes focused on his face. Seneca slipped the belt off of his pants and I watched as he tossed it off to the side. He kicked off his shoes and motioned for me to do the same. I did so and took another step backwards. My heart was pounding in my chest.

"Turn around," Seneca ordered.

Following his order I turned back and felt him place a hand on my back, right where the scars from the wolf mutt had once been. The wolf mutt that he had sent after me. My entire body started to shake. His hands traveled from my waist up to the middle of my back, right where the bra strap was. Catching my lip in between my teeth, I forced myself not to sob as he unhooked it. I held it to my chest for a moment before Seneca reached around and gently pulled it from my body.

"Turn back," he ordered. I did so and forced myself to remain steely as he looked over my body. "I'll go slowly."

"Okay," I whispered.

But I didn't want him to go slowly. I didn't want to have to savor this moment. I wanted it to be over with. I wanted him to do what he had to do and let me go. I wanted to wallow in my own misery and try and avoid Cato forever. I wouldn't be able to look him in the eye after this. Cato... I had been ordered to this but it was like being unfaithful to him. Because I couldn't get past him ever doing this with someone else while I was waiting for him in my own bed. And that was where he would be right now. In my bed. Waiting for me. But here I was, in someone else's bed, trying to save his life.

Seneca gently put a hand on my chest and brushed over the skin. His touch sent a shiver of disgust through me. "Lovely," he said.

"You've seen it before," I said, almost bitterly.

"But I never thought I would get the chance to touch you," he admitted. "Come with me."

Seneca grabbed the back of my head and brought me into a lingering kiss. He tasted like the wine that we had been drinking. Seneca gently walked us backwards towards the bed and separated the kiss. For a moment he turned me back away from him. His hands went around my front, trailed down my body, and finally hit me at my hips. Right above where the band of my underwear was. A desperate sob that Seneca ignored wracked my body. He brushed my hair off of my shoulders and moved it in front of my shoulders. A second later he pressed a kiss to the back of my neck.

"It will barely hurt," Seneca said.

But it would hurt terribly. The pain wouldn't bother me. I'd been burned and torn apart time after time in the arena. The pain was nothing. The mental pain... that was everything. That was what would genuinely kill me. Seneca reached around me and grabbed my chin. He turned my head back to give him a kiss as my entire body began to shake. His hands gently wandered down from my chin, to my throat, to my chest, to my stomach, to my waist, to my hips again. That time he grabbed the band of the underwear that I was wearing.

Seneca released my head and gently pushed me to lean over the bed. As he slid them down my legs I was unable to stop a tear from falling onto the bed. It left a little black stain from the makeup. No one had thought to make it waterproof. Tonight was supposed to be happy. Tonight was not supposed to be hard for me. Once Seneca had them down around my ankles, he turned me back to him and pulled me to step out of them. I did so, trying to ignore the fact that he was seeing me completely bare.

"What a gorgeous creature you are," Seneca said.

He had barely noticed that I was crying. He grabbed my hands and pulled them to his waist. I was powerless to stop the desperate sob that wracked through me as I took the button and popped it open, sliding the zipper down, and stepping back for him to remove his pants. He did so and gently threw them to the side. His underwear was the only thing that was now separating us. I didn't want to see it. I wanted Cato to be the first and only man I ever saw. I should have asked him on the Victory Tour.

That night... I should have done it. I'd wanted it. Why had I said no? Seneca put an arm around my back and met my lips again. He brought a hand up to brush the stray tears out of my eyes as he pushed me backwards. We hit the bed and I gasped as I collapsed onto it. Seneca fell over me and pressed a lingering kiss against my throat. A guttural sob escaped me before I could stop it as Seneca kissed the crook in between my neck and my throat and dropped his hands to push my legs apart. It was finally here.

But it wasn't. Seneca dropped his arms and pulled away from me. "Aspen… Believe it or not, I want a woman to want me in bed. You don't want to be here," he said.

I knew what it meant. He would kill everyone. "N - No. Please. I want to be here," I said desperately. "I'm just nervous. I'm sorry."

"Gather your wits tonight. Mentally prepare yourself for tomorrow."

"Please. Let me stay."

"Your family, as well as Cato's, are safe. This is my choice. Not your failure," Seneca said. A breath of relief escaped me. "You may leave. Return tomorrow night."

"T - Thank you," I muttered weakly. "I'll be ready."

And I would be ready. If it meant that he would let me have one more night to myself I would come back tomorrow and force myself to get over it. He was giving me one more night. That was all that I wanted. I let Seneca get off of me, took his hand up, and allowed him to hand me back my clothes. I had my underwear back on when he took me by the hand and pulled the zipper of my dress back up and held it into place. I had never felt so good to have clothing back on me.

He leaned down and slowly started to put my shoes back onto my feet. "Tomorrow night, Aspen," Seneca said.

"I'll be here."

His hands gently trailed up my legs and he hooked the shoes in place. I shivered in horror as his hands trailed up my inner thighs before coming back to rest. Seneca helped me back to my feet and pulled me in for a long kiss. He bunched up the fabric of the dress and I almost cried out as his tongue slid itself into my mouth. But I forcibly responded to him, grinding out a moan where required. Because I knew that I should be grateful for tonight. I should be grateful that he didn't take anything more.

Finally he released me. "If it happens again I won't be so forgiving," Seneca warned.

"I understand."

"The little girls will be first. Leah and Marley, I believe their names are? It's not uncommon for little girls to fall ill from food that was improperly prepared. How heartbreaking the family would find it to have lost one of their girls. And how much your dear fiancé would hate you just because you couldn't follow directions."

"I'll be pleasing tomorrow night. I swear," I said weakly.

"Then you may leave. Give your fiancé my best."

"Of course."

On weak and shaky knees I made my way out of Seneca Crane's room. I barely managed to stumble into the empty hallway before my knees gave out and I crashed to the ground against the wall. I pulled my knees up to my chest and let out a strangled sob that I had been holding in for the past fifteen minutes. I pressed my hands into my face and pulled my entire body into as tight of a ball as I could. I had been so close to having it taken. But it hadn't. I had one more night. And I meant to make it count. Before I had to act exactly the way that Seneca wanted me to. For Leah and Marley and everyone else.

Desperate to be away from him I pulled myself to my feet and fled. My heart was racing as I walked down the hallway, hoping not to run into anyone. I couldn't believe it. I had gotten out of it tonight but now I knew that it would happen tomorrow. There was no more hoping and praying that things would change. I had run out of time. Unless I came up with a plan in the next twenty-four hours there was nothing that I could do. I jumped into the elevator and sank into the wall, fighting back the tears that were threatening to rise. He had destroyed my life enough. Why did he have to continue making things worse for me?

The doors to the elevator slid open and I slowly walked out. The lights were off in the main room and I wanted to make sure that I didn't wake anyone up. It was already well past midnight and I was sure that people were long asleep. I didn't want to explain what had happened. I started to make my way down the hall to my room and nearly screamed when a hand laid itself on my shoulder. I turned back and threw a punch but the person had been expecting it. Haymitch dropped my hand and I had to resist slapping him.

"What's wrong with you?" I hissed.

"I'm sorry, I shouldn't have done that," he said softly.

He hadn't realized that I didn't see him beforehand. "It's fine. What?" I asked irritably.

"What happened?"

Shrugging my shoulders at him I took a breath. Only half of what I was about to tell him was the truth. I needed to keep a straight face because Haymitch almost never believed anything that I said. "Nothing. He just wanted to congratulate me on my engagement," I said.

"Is that so?" he asked, clearly suspicious.

"I think that he might have had a change of heart. It's nothing to worry about, Haymitch. I'll let you know if anything happens. Okay?" I asked, hoping that he would let it go.

Haymitch nodded and I forced myself to keep my breath in. If I let it out he would know that I was trying to hide something. "Alright, you're off the hook for now," he said.

"I swear I'll tell you if something happens."

"I'll told you to that, Aspen. Go to bed. I need you to be awake and alert for tomorrow. Have a good night. I'll send Effie in tomorrow to wake you up do we can get you ready for the party."

"Okay. Goodnight."

Without giving him a chance to say anything else, I made my way back into my room and stripped off my dress. I hung it over the chair delicately, treating it like I would treat a child. The dress felt like a part of me. I couldn't just throw it on the ground recklessly like I normally did. Just after I had washed my face free of the makeup the doors slid open behind me. I didn't bother to cover myself up. I knew that it was Cato. He wasn't much of a nighttime sleeper. Most nights that he stayed with me I knew that he either drifted in and out of sleep or he was up for hours all while fighting the urge to go to bed.

Like me, he didn't want to deal with what would happen when he closed his eyes. I turned back to him and smiled. He looked like he might have been asleep but I knew that he had been awake and waiting for me. He wasn't wearing a shirt and the shorts that he had on were slung low on his waist. There was a small stirring in my gut and I nearly laughed. There was the teenager in me coming out to play. Stupid hormones. But even though they were here now I knew that they would be nowhere to be found tomorrow night.

"Want some company?" Cato asked.

I nodded at him and he walked into the room. "I'd love that," I said.

For a moment I thought about pulling on something else to wear but I ultimately decided against it. I liked being with him like that. I pulled back the covers and sat down on the bed cross-legged. Cato sat down next to me and let his hands run through my hair as I laid in his lap. I closed my eyes and let him do it, enjoying the feeling of his short nails raking through my hair. We sat in silence for about ten minutes before I finally could no longer stand the silence. I had to say something.

"Hey, Cato. Can you tell me something?" I asked.

"Sure."

"I know that you've, uh, been with girls before," I stupidly started.

His eyebrows were raised and his lips were turned into a smirk. "That would be correct," he stated.

I rolled my eyes and forced myself to continue. "Were you any of those girls first?" I asked.

"I think so," he said, a confused look adorning his face.

"Do you know if it hurt them?" I asked him quietly.

It was obvious that he hadn't been expecting that as my question but it was something that I wanted him to tell me. I had to know what to be prepared for tomorrow night. Seneca said that it would only hurt a little bit but I wasn't so sure that I could believe him. In fact I knew that I couldn't believe him. And that was all just if I couldn't find a way to get out of it.

"As far as I know it did hurt them. It isn't excruciating pain but there's definitely a little pain. Some of them bled too," he said. It sounded disgusting, why did people like it so much? Although maybe that was only the first time. Maybe it got better after that. "Is there a particular reason that you're asking me any of this?"

My heart jumped into my throat. What should I say? Should I tell him the truth? No. That would only get a lot of people killed, including Cato and myself. Should I just say that I was curious? No, he would never let it go if I just said something that simple. There was an answer that was bubbling up but I was trying to keep myself from saying it. I wasn't sure that I wanted to say it. Maybe it was just the impulse talking. Although if I was really thinking it that much maybe it was because I really did want it.

"I want you to," I said, so fast that it shocked even me.

If I thought that I was confused it was nothing compared to the look that Cato was giving me. It was like I had told him that I was a man. "Come again?" he asked.

I wanted it. I had wanted it back in the cave during the Games but Cato had stopped me. He had been right to stop me then but I wanted it now. "I want you, Cato," I whispered.

He was still shocked. "Come on, Aspen. Just because we're getting married doesn't mean that you have to do any of this. I mean, we're young. It's okay. If I have to wait a few years until you're ready then that's fine," he said. My heart swelled. He would wait for me. "Don't rush yourself into doing something like that just because the Capitol rushed us into marriage."

There was a sad smile on his face. For a moment I thought about listening to him and going to bed. It would have probably been the smart thing to do. It would have been the right thing to do. But that wasn't what I wanted. I had said it on an impulse but I knew that I really did want it. I had for a long time. This wasn't something that I was doing just because of Seneca Crane. For once I was doing it just because I wanted it. Because I wanted to be close to someone. Someone that I loved.

"I'm not. I want you to do it," I said softly.

I could tell that Cato was torn over what to do. "Are you sure?" Cato whispered.

"This isn't something that I'm doing because the Capitol wants us to be the couple that they love. I want you to do it because I really do want it. I want you to be the first person that I do it with. I want it to be with someone I love," I said, fighting back the tears that once more threatened to spill over.

I had to not think of that. Cato pushed me onto my back and I sucked in a breath of air. I had really said that I wanted to do this. There was no going back after I did this. I didn't want to go back on it. "Why? You planning on doing it with someone else sometime soon?" he asked.

He was smiling until I slapped him. I knew that it was a joke but he had no idea how bad it was. "You're not funny," I snapped.

"I'm sorry, I was just kidding. Bad joke. Are you sure that you want to do this?"

Was I absolutely sure that I wanted this? "Yes," I said softly, looking deep into his eyes.

Love. That was the only emotion that I saw. It was so different from the first time that I had looked into his eyes. Before it had been pain, hunger, and anger. We had both changed so much in such a short period of time. His hands dropped down to his pants and I took in a deep breath as he pulled them off. I clumsily helped him undo the button so that he could peel them off. My heart was hammering but this time it was in excitement. He was still wearing underwear underneath his pants but I knew that it was the only thing separating us. Our underwear.

I nearly laughed as I remembered that once Katniss and I had made a pact to tell each other everything about our boyfriends one day. This just might be something that I keep to myself. This would be the one thing that would be mine. The one thing that the Capitol could not take from me. Not President Snow and not Seneca Crane. No one. No matter what happened tomorrow night Seneca would never be able to take one last thing from me. Cato pressed his lips gently to mine and all of the racing thoughts in my mind slowed. For the first time in months I thought of nothing that night other than the man who I loved.

Cato's hands tensed at my underwear and he stopped long enough to look into my eyes. It was his last way of asking me if I was sure that I wanted this. That time there was no hesitation. I nodded and Cato's lifted me up to remove the last bits of my clothing. Unlike when Seneca had done it earlier, I found myself thrilled for the last bit of Cato's clothing to come off. He leaned down over me and pressed a long kiss against my throat, placing his lips up to my ear as our legs gently pressed against each other's.

"I love you, Aspen Antaeus."

"I love you too, Cato Hadley." And it was the truth. I would always love him. Now more than ever.

 **A/N:** Here's another fully edited chapter. **Let me know what you think!** Until next time -A


	4. Chapter 4

The sunlight streamed through the windows and I sighed deeply. The room had been so dark last night that I hadn't even bothered to stumble around for my clothing once everything had been done. There was also the issue of me feeling like a rather large idiot. All I'd wanted to do was go to sleep. Instead of making myself look like an even bigger fool I had slipped under the sheets and buried my face into Cato's chest. He had insisted that it was okay and that I hadn't done anything wrong. But I had felt like an utter fool the entire time. But he had just told me that I was doing everything right and that it would get better with time.

It felt like everything else in my life. It would get better with time. But it hadn't been like everything else in my life. It had been so different. It had been something so much better. As embarrassing as it had been for a while I had loved it the entire time. It had been something that the Capitol would never be able to take. It was Cato's. The way that it always should have been. I yawned slightly again and stood, my naked body shivering at the sudden cold. I looked down at the jumbled sheets and blushed slightly when I saw that the white sheet that Cato had bunched underneath me was stained with blood.

He had warned me that it might happen. He had been damn right. It had seemed like he was hurting me and for a while he had. The pain had shot through my core and I thought that he might tear me in half. But apparently that was normal. And the pain had faded after not long. Cato had made sure that I wasn't embarrassed and I had thanked him for that. The last thing that I had wanted was to do something wrong. But it wasn't like there was anything that I really could have screwed up. I laid on my back the entire time. He said that in time it wouldn't always be that way. I would figure out how to take over and not just lay there.

Cato was on his stomach and I pulled the sheets up so that they were covering most of his back instead of just the bottom of his legs. He had paled since the first time that we had met. Instead of his soft tan that he used to have he looked like he had spent more of his time inside. I assumed that he had. Now I was the one with a deeper tan from my days out in the woods and running around the District. His hair was longer too. It fell behind his ears and I smiled. The short hair had looked wonderful on him but it looked better long. It made him look older. It made him look like the man that he was.

Not the stupid boy that had been so excited to go into the Games. I was glad to see that he was long gone. I sighed and rolled over to the edge of the bed so that I could grab the blood-stained sheet. I shoved it under the bed roughly, making sure that no one would see it. I had no doubts in my mind that if Effie of Haymitch - or worse, Brutus - found the sheets they would immediately know what had happened. And there was no way that I would ever hear the end of it. Hopefully an Avox would find it while we were in the Capitol. That would be for the best considering they can't speak.

Taking it slowly I stood and groaned at the slight pain that shot through my abdomen. Cato had warned me that I would be sore in the morning and he had been right. Dried blood was on my legs and my eyes widened at the sight. It looked like I had just come out of a fight in the Hunger Games. Shaking my head clear of my thoughts I walked over to the bathroom and slid the opaque door closed behind me. There was no way that I could go without a shower. Cinna would see it if I didn't and I wasn't quite sure if I wanted him to know about anything that I had done last night. I didn't want anyone to know what I had done last night.

There was no way that anyone could know what had happened between us last night. Not until I was ready for them to know. And that wouldn't be for a long while. So I slipped into the shower and left Cato to sleep for a little while longer. He had been awake longer than me to run his hands through my hair until I fell asleep. As the rain ran over my body I thought about what everyone that I knew would say to me if they knew what I had done. Cinna would probably just ask me if I was sure that I was ready. He would be one of the few that would support my judgement. It was why I appreciated him.

Haymitch would yell at me for a while and ask why I couldn't just be easy to deal with. That was never the way that I did anything. I always made things ten times harder than they needed to be. Brutus would never let me hear the end of it. He would make jokes all of the time and he would ensure that everyone knew what we had done. Ms. Everdeen would probably just see how I felt emotionally and ensure that I had been safe. Cato had promised that he was safe and I trusted him. I could never bring a child into this world. Prim would blush madly and probably awkwardly ask what it was like. Katniss would do the same, although she might actually genuinely curious. Prim would only ask for the sake of conversation. I smiled just thinking about it.

Gently I pushed the button for the soap to come out and I sighed as the lavender scented lotion spilled out onto my hands. I really needed to wash the blood away. I didn't even want Cato to see it once he woke up. The wash lathered quickly and I found myself thinking about Gale, as much as I really didn't want to think about him right now. What would he think if he could see what I had done? He would probably hate me. He would no longer be able to pretend that we were still the same old friends that we used to be. He would tell me that I was insane. Maybe he would never speak to me again. He would try to kill Cato.

All I knew was that he would tell me that I was sleeping with the enemy. Literally. Gale and I had definitely been more hostile to each since my return from the Capitol and I knew why. It was all because of Cato. He thought that I wasn't thinking straight and he couldn't stand that the Capitol supported our relationship which would always keep us together. Telling him that Cato and I had slept together would only make our strained relationship even worse. And that was something that I couldn't take. I couldn't lose him. Just like there were other people that I couldn't bear to lose.

Turning the dial off for the water I stepped out of the shower and looked myself over in the mirror. Thankfully the blood was long since gone from between my legs. That would have been an interesting topic of choice at the party. And I was really hoping to get out of that party without having to talk too much. I turned to the side and looked myself over. My hair had grown since I had last been in the Capitol. It now hit the bottom of my back and I knew that I would have to cut it soon. Or maybe they'd send another fireball after me to cut it themselves.

Back home I had gained some weight due to the change in my diet but now I had lost weight again after the Victory Tour. I had also lost a little bit of muscle mass. That was to be expected since I no longer hunted every day. I missed being out in the woods and stalking the animals but I wasn't able to hold a knife anymore. I saw the faces of those that I had killed when I did. Part of me knew that it wasn't real but the other part told me that I had seen so many things that shouldn't have been real that I wasn't able to tell the difference anymore. Maybe when I got back I would ask Gale and Katniss to take it slow and help me hunt again.

With a towel wrapped around my chest I walked out into the bedroom and saw that Cato was stirring slightly. He would be awake soon enough. I knew that he muttered in his sleep and I could tell that he was doing it right now. So I walked over to the bed for a moment and listened. He was muttering things under his breath and I could hear that my name was occasionally slipping from his lips. He mumbled a soft apology and I felt a pang in my stomach. I was sure that he was apologizing for something that he thought he had done to me during the Games. But he had saved me. I wished that he knew that.

Humming softly to myself I walked over to the dresser and pulled out something simple for me to wear. I wouldn't be in it for long before Cinna found me and put me in something for the party tonight. So I wanted to get something that Effie would normally complain at me for. I grabbed a tight white shirt that had a cutout in the back and pulled on a pair of blue jeans that were tight all the way down my legs. I slipped on the black combat boots that were sitting at the foot of the bed and I sat back down on the bed. I wanted to enjoy the silence while I had it.

A hand fell onto my back and I yelped slightly. I definitely hadn't been expecting that. The hand had touched my bare skin started to wind its way underneath the fabric and I smiled. Already I felt it burning slightly. Turning back I realized that it was only Cato and I forced my breathing to slow. My hand went up to my heart and I let a few slow breaths out. I counted down from five before nodding at Cato. He looked like he felt slightly bad for scaring me but when I saw the regret in his eyes I smiled at him. He had nothing to feel bad for. He was wonderful.

"You scared me," I said.

He laughed lightly. That probably wasn't something that he needed to hear. He knew that. "I'm sorry," Cato muttered.

He got up on his knees and sat behind me, pressing a kiss against the back of my neck. "I thought that you were still asleep," I said softly. "Can you hand me that?"

Cato grabbed the hairbrush that I wanted. "There you go," he said.

"Thanks."

I started to run it through my hair. "I was asleep. But then I saw that you were up and I figured that I should get up," he said.

The air was slightly awkward with us and I wondered if I should say something about last night. Had it been that bad? Had I done something wrong? Did he wish that I was like the girls that he had been with back in District 2? I wasn't sure that I could handle that. I didn't want it to change our relationship but I should have known that it was going to. It didn't even matter if we ended up falling out of love. We were getting married. There was nothing that we could do. Cato wrapped a hand around my waist and planted a kiss on the top of my head. I smiled slightly and leaned back.

"About last night..." I muttered.

"It was perfect," Cato said, against my throat.

"I didn't even do anything."

"Just being there, with you, was perfect. Are you okay?"

"You didn't laugh at me so I'm great," I said, laughing humorlessly.

"There was nothing to laugh at. Were you...?" Cato trailed off awkwardly.

That made me snort. "Are you actually embarrassed?" I asked. Cato shoved me back against his chest. "It was wonderful, Cato. Strange and kind of painful at times. But it was everything that I wanted. I'm yours. Now and always."

"We're each other's," Cato said.

It was enough to make me smile. I laid in Cato's lap and let him lean down to press a lingering kiss against my mouth. His hands came up to tangle in my hair and tug me close to him. It wasn't long before he jumped over my body and laid himself against me. The two of us tangled together as our limbs knotted and we rolled ourselves over in the bed. I had a feeling that in a matter of moments we were going to be back to the position that we had been in last night. Not that I would have minded that, but I knew that there were other places that we were supposed to be.

So I pushed away from him. "I'm sure that either Haymitch or Effie will be in here any minute now to yell at us for not being already prepared for the party," I said.

"Can't we just stay here for a while?" he asked.

"You know that we're going to get yelled at. And do you really want to be interrupted like this?"

"I wouldn't mind that too much."

We both laughed. "I guess we should get moving," I muttered.

"Before we get interrupted by Effie," Cato said.

With a small laugh I laid the brush down on the table pulled my hair up. "It's almost like looking into a crystal ball," I joked, hoping that I would lighten the mood slightly.

Cato had gotten up to get changed. He was much faster than me. Cato turned back to me and tilted his head as he pulled the zipper of his pants up. He was pulling on a light blue shirt that fell loosely around his body. It still was tight on his arms and I nearly laughed. His arms that looked like they could crush my skull without any bit of effort. I had essentially seen him do just that to Ethan during the Games. I shivered slightly and grabbed a blanket to make it look like I was only slightly cold. I didn't need him to know that part of me was still afraid of him.

"A what?" he asked, tugging the shirt down.

Even in District 12 we had silly things like that. "You've never heard of a crystal ball?" I asked.

"No. What is it?"

Laughing softly I thought back to one of the happier times in my life. "Prim went through a phase three years ago. She thought that these things could let you see into the future," I said with a fond smile.

Cato chuckled. The idea was stupid but it was something fun to goof around with. "That's kind of cute," Cato said.

"It's just something fun for kids to play with back home. Something to make them feel like kids for the day."

"She liked them?" Cato asked.

"She thought they were great. She used to ask me to sit with her and ask the ball questions with her. I still remember her first question. Would she ever go into the Games? She told me that I had to be the one to tell her the answer. I pretended to look into the ball but I knew the answer. No. She never would. Not while I was around," I said.

It was a little strange to remember just how serious I had been when I had answered her. And I had kept my word to her. There was no way that I was going to hurt her like that. I would keep her safe. And I had done just that. Cato grabbed my hand and ran his finger over it. A blush rose to my cheeks and I nearly slapped myself. _Get a grip girl. You've done much more intimate things with him_. But for some reason it was moments like this that I felt the most vulnerable.

"You're good to her. To all of them that you have back in District 12," Cato said.

I gave him a soft kiss. "They're family. You're good to them back in District 2," I said.

"Not as much as you are in District 12. It's like you said. One big family."

"One day soon you'll be a part of that family."

He grinned sideways at me. "They'll still hate me," Cato said.

"They'll learn to love you. Just like I do."

The two of us exchanged another long kiss with each other. Cato smirked as he lifted me from the bed and pressed me back against the wall. He was always stronger than I was expecting. So I laughed softly as he kept me pinned against him. It wasn't long before he finally backed away from me and got back to getting ready. I brushed my hair out of my face and walked with a tiny limp towards my door. I was a little stiffer than I'd expected to be. Cato laughed loudly and I ground my teeth together. Damn him.

"Slow down there. Wouldn't want to make it too obvious that the precious Girl on Fire isn't quite so innocent anymore," Cato commented lowly.

He was standing with his arms crossed over his chest. He was leaning back against the door with a small smirk on his face and I rolled my eyes. He thought that he was so damn slick. He thought that he was funny and he really wasn't. Not when he was laughing at me for something like that.

"Shut up," I snapped, before grabbing one of my heels and chucking it at him.

He ducked out of the way at the last minute and the heel of the shoe made a small dent in the wall. "Good aim," Cato teased, as he barked out a laugh.

I rolled my eyes. "Asshole," I muttered.

"There it is. I wondered how long it would be before you said that."

"Come on, you idiot. I bet anything that Haymitch wants to talk to us. Tell us stupid things that we already know about a party we want nothing to do with," I said.

"We do the party tonight and we're done here."

"Thankfully. What time do we leave tomorrow?" I asked.

"Effie said it would be first thing in the morning to get to District 12 first thing in the morning two days from now. For the Harvest Festival," Cato said.

It made a smile fall over myself. I was thrilled to be back home. Cato followed me out of the room and the two of us headed into the living room. I knew that Haymitch would be waiting for me at the couch and I sucked in a breath. He was a good man but I knew that he would want to yell at me for something. He almost always did. Before we could get to the living room, Enobaria cut us off and I took a small step back. She was just slightly shorter than Cato leaving her to tower over me. Although the woman was nice she still made me nervous.

"Hey, Cato. Aspen," she greeted.

"Morning, Enobaria," I said.

"I know that you two want to be together but I need the both of you in two separate places," she said.

Naturally. "Okay. What's up?" I asked.

"Aspen, Haymitch wants to talk to you for a while and then Cinna will need you to get ready for the party. Cato, Brutus and I would like to speak with you for a little while before we get you ready for the party," she informed us.

My stomach turned over nervously. I knew where that one was going. Haymitch would want to talk to me about Seneca Crane. That was half of the reason that I wanted Cato there in the first place. Haymitch was usually nicer, Cato would help get me out of tight spaces, and Haymitch wouldn't dare to say anything about my supposed job while Cato was near. My fiancé leaned down to me and gave me a small kiss, which I weakly responded to. He seemed to notice that I wasn't really invested in the kiss but he said nothing about it.

"I'll see you soon," he said.

"See you at the party."

"Try and be nice," he called as I walked away.

I merely laughed and shook my head. "When have you ever known me to be nice?" I asked.

"Never," Cato called back.

We both laughed as I headed off to Haymitch. We would see how the whole being nice would go. At least in reality I wasn't exactly known for my charming attitude. Cato and Enobaria turned to the elevator and I sighed as they went downstairs. I wouldn't see either one of them again until goodnight. Brutus was more than likely waiting for them on the second floor. I watched as the doors closed to the elevator and then turned back. Haymitch was sitting on the couch in the living room and when he saw me he stood.

"Good morning, sweetheart," he said.

"Good morning."

He walked over to the bar and I laughed lightly. It was ten in the morning and he was already getting a drink. Of course, I couldn't blame him. He poured himself a glass of amber liquid and turned to me. "You want a drink too?" he asked, holding the bottle up.

My face paled slightly when I realized that it was the same stuff that Seneca Crane had given me last night. Apparently it was high end. So why the hell was Haymitch drinking it? He just wanted the strong stuff. He liked the stuff that we used to kill germs and stave off infection back in District 12. Of course, this wasn't his home, it was the Capitol. And he would drink anything that he could get his hands on. I knew him well enough to know that.

"Haymitch, it isn't even ten in the morning yet," I said.

"When have you known me to care about that?"

He was about to put the bottle down when suddenly an urge took over me. "Yeah, sure. What the hell? I'll take one," I said.

In the meantime Haymitch poured me a drink. I watched as the liquid rose to the top of the glass and I sighed. I really did need a glass of whatever it was. Just to calm me down. I wasn't really sure what it was but lately I was giving into most of my few temptations. Maybe it was the knowledge that my life wasn't really mine. I just wanted to do anything that made me the slightest bit happier. Or a little more relaxed.

"Anything to help me keep my mind off of tonight," I mumbled, raising the glass to my lips and downing a large gulp.

The drink was bitter and it burned down to my core. I liked it. "We need to talk," Haymitch said, after I handed the glass back.

"Can we skip it?" I asked.

"No. And don't scoff at me and pretend like I'm doing you some damn favor. Kid, I'm trying to keep you alive."

"You've done a marvelous job."

"The Games might be over but we both know that you have a long way to go. I want you to tell me everything that happens between you and Seneca Crane."

I opened my mouth to argue with him but it got me nowhere. "No -"

"Don't! I have a good reason to know. For one, it's gonna help me keep you breathing. And I know that you can't take this on by yourself. No matter how strong you are," he said.

The last part was with the voice of someone who had tried themselves. I knew that Haymitch had gone through a lot. He had lost his family and the woman that he loved at the hands of the Capitol. He had tried to face it by himself and it hadn't worked. He had turned to drinking and he hadn't stopped. More than likely he never would. I knew that I couldn't do it by myself but I was stubborn. It would be the death of me one day. That much I knew.

"I'm stronger than you think," I snapped.

"I know you are."

"I'm stronger than both of you think. Haymitch, I don't need to tell you everything."

The anger flashed through his eyes. "You are going to do what I tell you to do," Haymitch snapped.

"I doubt that you would want to hear everything," I snorted.

He looked like he would slap me across the face. And I wouldn't have blamed him. "This isn't up for debate," Haymitch snapped.

"Haymitch -"

"You are going to tell me everything that happens between you and Seneca Crane. Are we clear?"

The overwhelming urge to say 'yes father' overtook me but I kept my mouth shut. It didn't feel right to say something like that. Not right now. "Sure," I mumbled.

"Aspen, big things are coming," Haymitch said darkly.

My heart dropped all the way into my stomach and I felt bile rise in my throat. It was bad enough that President Snow was threatening me because things were changing. It was even worse that the other people were saying it. Particularly Haymitch, who normally didn't care about anything. It was obvious that things were changing. Lately everything just seemed darker. People seemed to be even more afraid or more unsettled. They were restless. It seemed like it was just because of the Quarter Quell but I knew that something else was there too. Us. Cato and me.

"You aren't the first person to tell me that. What's going on, Haymitch?" I asked. He looked like he was debating telling me something but he kept quiet. "Things are changing. People are more solemn. The Districts are growing antsy. We can all see it. What the hell is happening? Things have been different since Cato and I won the Hunger Games. Why did we change things?"

It was true. Everything had been different since Cato and I had become Victors. The looks that I got from people weren't those of admiration that most Victors got. It was contempt. It seemed like people knew that things were changing and it was my fault. Not that anyone ever blamed Cato. It was all me. Of course, I was the one who had come up with the idea to kill ourselves. I could see it in all of the Districts. I didn't see it here in the Capitol, but I knew that President Snow still saw it.

"No matter what happens, things are going to change. These Games were designed for one person to win. They were designed for Cato to win. But you did too," Haymitch said.

"I know," I whispered.

Everyone wanted Cato to win. He was the one that should have won. "They wanted someone that would listen to them and bend to their every will. That is not you," Haymitch continued.

"It never will be."

"That's a good thing, believe it or not. No matter how dangerous things get."

"So what happens now?"

"I don't know as of right now. You've changed things. No matter what happens, things will never be the same. You saw to that," he said.

Now there was a serious look on his face. My head dropped and I stared down at my lap. How had this happened? There was no simple or nice way to say it. It was my fault. Everything was my fault. Most of the deaths during the Games had been my fault. The reason that Seneca Crane was no longer the Head Gamemaker was my fault. The reason that the Seventy-Fourth Hunger Games had produced two Victors was my fault. Everything that had happened in the past few months was my fault. And now there was nothing that I could do but flee.

"I didn't mean to do anything," I said softly.

Haymitch laid a hand on my shoulder and I looked up. "I know that. But they don't," he said.

He was right. I was sure that Snow was making it sound like everything that I had done recently had been all a part of a bigger plan. But that wasn't true. All I wanted was to save Prim and get home. Things had just gotten complicated. Cato had made everything complicated. As much as I wished that he hadn't.

"What do I do?" I asked.

"Nothing for now. Keep calm, do everything that we've already taught you to do, and just remember that everyone here in the Capitol loves you. It's easy."

"Lucky me."

"Come on. This isn't something that I need to unload on you now."

"You have astounding timing," I snapped.

"We need to get you down to Cinna. He'll be getting you ready for the party tonight," he said.

I rolled my eyes. Of course I couldn't forget the party. It was so important that I looked pretty and made sure that everyone else was happy. I came last. "Joy," I muttered.

"I know. We all hate it," Haymitch said, leading me to the elevator.

The doors to the elevator slid closed and I slumped against the walls. I looked out of the glass elevator and saw that Finnick was walking out on the balcony of the tenth floor. I hadn't even known that he would be here this weekend. But I was thrilled to see him right now. I wished that I had known that he would be here before. Finnick caught my eyes and the two of us waved at each other. I wondered what he was here for, but the answer was obvious. Either the same reason that I would be going to Seneca Crane tonight or he really was here for the party. A number of Victors would be attending. It was a celebration.

A red-headed girl was walking with him and she gave me a small smile. I smiled back at her and gave a small wave. It was Annie Cresta. She was one of the first people that Finnick had mentored after he'd won. He had fallen in love with her while he'd been her Mentor but she had lost her mind in the Games when she had seen her District partner beheaded. I knew how she felt. My memory of Peeta's death was horrifying. They both turned away from me and continued to walk. She really was very pretty. I could see how Finnick had fallen for her. She was extremely sweet too. I was glad that he had her.

The doors opened and Haymitch led me out into the hallway. Only a few people were milling about. Someone that was altered to look like some type of cat walked by me and my eyes widened. These people were so weird. I would never understand why they dressed the way that they did but that was probably for the better. Haymitch pushed the door open and said a quick goodbye to me before leaving me alone. I walked into the room and sat down at the couch. Tea was already set out and I grabbed myself a cup. Cinna really did know everything that I wanted. The door me slid open and I knew that it was him.

"Good afternoon, dear," Cinna called out.

I turned to him and grinned. "Hi, Cinna. Changing it up, I see?" I teased.

He was in a blue shirt. It was probably the only time that I hadn't seen him wearing black. "It's your newest design. Do you like it?" he asked.

"I love it. I'm quite talented."

He walked up to me and I gave him a hug before plopping down in the chair in front of the vanity. "I'm glad that you like it. It will be out in stores soon enough," Cinna explained.

"It's lovely. I've outdone myself. I'm glad to see you."

"As am I."

"Finally I'm with someone who won't yell at me or tell me everything that I'm doing wrong," I said.

Cinna smiled. "You've done nothing wrong," Cinna said.

"Thank you."

Without another word, Cinna went to work on my hair and I slipped down slightly in the chair. He pulled out a pair of scissors and I grimaced. Damn it. I hated cutting my hair. But I knew that there was no point in arguing with him. He would do whatever he wanted, no matter what I said. At least the scissors were better than getting my hair sheared off by a fireball. As the scissors began to snip at my locks I scowled into the mirror. Where the hell had the rest of my Prep Team gone?

"Cinna, where are Flavius, Octavia, and Venia? I haven't seen them since I got here. Are they okay?" I asked, hoping that they were okay.

They were major pains in the asses but I couldn't bear them dying because I had done something stupid. Enough people had died because of me. I had seen them on the train, of course, but they had mysteriously vanished once we had gotten to the Capitol and I hadn't seen them since. Cinna smiled at me as he cut the last bit of hair. It was down to the middle of my back now and was layered so that it fell in different lengths around my head. He set the scissors down and pulled out the curling iron - which I had finally learned what it was called.

"They're fine," he said. I let out a breath of air. Good. At least someone was safe from the disaster that I was becoming. "There hasn't been much need for them. You have kept clean since we brought you from District 12 so I don't need them. You've just been coming straight to me because of that."

Finally that was something that the Capitol did that made sense. "That's good," I mumbled.

"But they are getting ready for the party tonight," he added on.

"They're coming?" I asked, surprised.

The Prep Teams normally weren't considered to be important enough to attend such events. It would be the first important Capitol party that they would be invited to. "All because of how stunning you've been. They're very grateful," Cinna said.

"Oh... Well I suppose I'm happy for them."

Cinna laughed and turned me from the mirror. He knew that it drove me nuts that I wasn't allowed to ever see my costumes before I was in them and the look was complete. "Sorry, dear," he said.

"The dreaded Presidential Party," I groaned.

This wouldn't be the first party that he had ever gotten me ready for. But he knew that this was the first one that I was completely dreading. "It will be over before you know it," Cinna said.

"I'll be there all night."

"One o'clock. That's when the party ends."

"In the _morning_?"

"You would think that you would be used to it," Cinna teased.

"You would think, but I'm not. I just don't want to go. It's the icing on the cake of the monstrosity that was the Victory Tour. As if these past few weeks haven't been bad enough," I said softly, hoping that there were no cameras in the room.

"Close your eyes," Cinna said.

That was much faster than I thought that it would be. I had thought that it would take forever to get my ready for the party. But that was when I realized that it was just time for makeup. I groaned and closed my eyes. It was normally the longest process and it was the one that I wanted over the fastest. It was annoying to not be able to move at all. I wasn't sure how Effie was able to do it every morning. And far more than I had on. But that was just the way that she had grown up. It was like how I was able to get up and go hunting every morning. Well... how it used to be.

"Thankfully it will be over tonight," Cinna said.

"Technically tomorrow morning."

"Don't be smart."

"Sorry," I said, giggling at Cinna.

"I know that you'll get through it just fine. I won't be there."

"Why not?"

"I'll be working in my office," he said.

"Damn you," I said halfheartedly.

"My apologies, darling. Don't worry. I have to be working on your newest designs." It made the corners of my lips quirk upwards. Why couldn't Cinna ever be there? "But I'll be there to say goodbye to you in the morning," Cinna said. At least he would be there for my goodbye. After a few moments, Cinna spoke up again. "You're abnormally quiet. It isn't a good question, but how are you doing?"

He knew that something was bothering me but the question was whether or not I should tell him. No. I knew that. People were always in danger around me and Cinna was close to the top of the list. Not as much so as my family, but Cinna was doing things that I knew were bothering the Capitol. He continuously made me look like the star of the show and he made sure that people would not forget the Mockingjay. One day that would come to haunt him. And I could only pray that I was there to stop it. But maybe I could say something...

"You're right. That wasn't a smart question. I'm not good Cinna," I admitted. But I couldn't tell him why. He was in too much danger already. "But I don't think I'll ever be good again. I don't know if I ever was good. But it doesn't matter. I have people that I love surrounding me. Haymitch, Cato, Effie, Finnick, Prim, Katniss, Gale, Ms. Everdeen, and you."

"And I love you too. Very much," Cinna said.

Cinna was one of the few people that meant everything to me. He was a huge part of my life. He hadn't come in as a good thing but somehow he made himself be the best person to me. He was the one person that always supported me. "As long as people I love are around, I'll always be okay," I said.

"I'm glad that you think that way," Cinna said.

There was just something calming about his voice and the way that he spoke. There was a way that he had about himself that always managed to calm me down. No matter how many times that things made me nervous. Right now I was definitely feeling nervous. About the party and what would come after tonight. We fell silent after that last comment, just like we usually did. Cinna liked to work in relative silence after we got out whatever we felt the need to say. So I slipped into a light sleep and lazily walked over to the pedestal where I would be getting dressed.

Cinna slipped me into a dress and I smiled at the feel of it. It was soft and light but I could tell that there was a lot of fabric on it. Cinna told me to open my eyes and I did as told. My makeup was the same dull red and dark black that coated my eyes as it normally did. The light blush was dusted over my cheeks and my lips were painted a soft pink. My hair was down and curled lightly. It fell in long curls down my back and half of my hair was pulled up. There was a jeweled pin in my hair that held up the tied portion of my hair and it was shaped like a heart. I smiled at it and let my eyes fall down to the dress.

It was tight down my body and there was a slit that went up to my thigh. It was a pure white with red rubies running down the length of the dress. It hit around my feet and the bottom half of the fabric was flowing. The slight breeze in the room from the air conditioning was whipping the bottom of the dress around my ankles and I smiled. It looked somewhat like a wedding dress. The rubies shone brightly whenever I moved. My shoes were a low heel with bright diamonds on them. On the very edge of my left shoe was my Mockingjay pin. I grabbed the fabric that fell around my ankles and pulled it over the pin.

It was brave of Cinna to do that. But that was the type of person that he was. He was brave. I wished that I could be like him sometimes. He was never afraid, even when he did things that could mean his life. I wished that I could do things like that but I had myself and others to protect. Not that he didn't. He was clearly the better person. He always had been. He always would be. Giving Cinna a small smile, happy with the dress that he had given me to wear, I twirled for a moment before stepping off of the pedestal.

"It's lovely. Just like always," I told him with an honest smile.

He allowed me to whip the dress back and forth for a moment to get used to wearing it. After the few months of being back in jeans and jackets it was strange to get acclimated to the dressier nights in the Capitol. I might have hated everything about these people but I had to admit that sometimes the costumes were a little fun to wear for a night. Cinna bowed his head slightly before pushing my head up to meet his eyes.

"It pales in comparison to you," he said.

I leaned up to give him a small kiss on the cheek. "Thank you, Cinna," I said.

He gave me a little grin and hug, knowing that it will be the last time that I would see him tonight. "Good luck tonight, dear. I must be going but I'll see you in the morning," he said.

"See you tomorrow."

"Keep calm tonight and just bear in mind that tomorrow you will be on your way back to District 12."

"Thankfully," I groaned.

Tonight could not go by fast enough. All I wanted was to be back in District 12 with my friends. I wanted to get back to normal. I was sick of acting like a broken doll that would crumble at even the slightest change in the wind. I had to get everything to go back to normal. I was sick of acting like this. So as Cinna led me from the room I made a pact with myself that whenever I got back to District 12 I would start hunting again. I would get used to using my knives and bow and arrows again. The Games were over. I had to move on with my life. I had to enjoy the last few months of freedom that I had before my escape.

That meant that I couldn't just keep avoiding the problems at hand. I had to get back to the life that I had been living before the Games. I knew that things would never go back to the way that they had been before the Games but some of that was okay. I had Cato. I had Cinna. I had Haymitch. I had Finnick. The men that had become some of the most important people in my life. They were the things that I didn't regret. Effie met me at the limo and I hopped inside, immediately tuning her out. Cato was in the car too and I grinned at him. I could tell that he was ignoring her and it made me laugh lightly.

Haymitch climbed in the car and we were immediately off. We couldn't be late to the party. Not when we were the guests of honor. He wasn't really listening to Effie either as she continued to prattle on. He was more just saying things to irritate her. We arrived at the Presidential Palace quickly and I groaned internally. Cameras were everywhere and the whole place must have had twice as many people in this party as the one from before my Games. Lovely. More people that I would have to pretend to like. As we got out of the car and headed to the stairs, Effie clapped her hands together.

There were two huge fountains having a little show at the tops of the staircase. "The Presidential Palace. The party of the year. Eyes bright. Chins up. Smiles on. I'm talking to you, Aspen," Effie said. I scoffed. Naturally she would single me out. Cato laughed too and I reached out to slap him. "Now there will be photographers interviews everyone will be here to celebrate you. My Victors. Breath. Take it all in children. This is all for you."

This was not for us. It was for them. We didn't want this. We wanted to go home. But we wouldn't dare say that for fear of our own lives. "Now there's a novel thought. Something that is done completely for us?" I asked sarcastically.

Cato was giving me an amused smirk. "Attitude," Effie snapped.

"We've seen how well that works so far. I like the decoration, Effie," I said.

"Isn't it lovely?" she asked, mistaking my sarcasm for genuine interest.

"It's cozy," Cato said, as we walked over the top of the staircase and headed into the shark tank.

"Attitude," she snapped again.

She then turned away from me and plastered a smile on her face again. "Look at you. Turning into me," I teased.

"Smile," Cato prompted.

"Oh... That's a lot of people," I muttered, spotting the large crowd that was waiting for us.

"Come. Come. Excuse us. Come, come." I glanced up and saw a fire-breather that immediately made me look away. _So that's how you want to play it, Snow_. "Hold hands," Effie called back.

Cato and I linked our hands together immediately. Even I had to admit. Sometimes the attention was just a little bit nice. All of the cheering and happy faces to see you couldn't help but to make you smile. So I did. I smiled and graciously accepted the compliments and hands on my shoulders to congratulate me. Cato's grip was tight on me as we walked and I knew that I was burning red. At least the makeup would hide my blush. Cameras were flashing around us and people all around us were yelling to get our attention as we pushed through the crowd.

The party had no equal. The forty-foot ceiling had been transformed into the night sky and the stars looked exactly as they did at home. I supposed that they looked the same from the Capitol, but who would know? There was always too much light from the city to see the stars here. About halfway between the floor and the ceiling, musicians floated on what looked like fluffy white clouds, but I couldn't see what held them aloft.

Traditional dining tables had been replaced by innumerable stuffed sofas and chairs, some surrounding fireplaces, others beside fragrant flower gardens or ponds filled with exotic fish, so that people could eat and drink and do whatever they pleased in the utmost comfort. There was a large tiled area in the center of the room that served as everything from a dance floor, to a stage for the performers who came and went, to another spot to mingle with the flamboyantly dressed guests. I was desperately trying to avoid the fire-breather, as Effie walked us through the mansion.

But the real star of the evening was the food. Tables laden with delicacies lined the walls. Everything you could think of, and things you would have never dreamed of, laid in wait. Whole roasted cows and pigs and goats still turning on spits. Huge platters of fowl stuffed with savory fruits and nuts. Ocean creatures drizzled in sauces or begging to be dipped in spicy concoctions. Countless cheeses, breads, vegetables, sweets, waterfalls of wine, and streams of spirits that flickered with flames. My appetite had returned with my desire to fight back. After weeks of feeling too worried to eat, I was famished.

"I want to taste everything in the room," I told Cato.

As we continued walking through the hallway I could see him trying to read my expression and trying to figure out my sudden transformation. It was the first time that I had looked genuinely happy in a long while. And since he didn't know that President Snow thought that I had failed, since I didn't want to tell him yet, he could only assume that I thought that we had succeeded. Or maybe he thought that I was drunk on excitement over last night and our engagement. His eyes reflected his puzzlement but only briefly, because we were on camera.

"Then you'd better pace yourself," he said.

"Okay, no more than one bite of each dish," I said.

My resolve is almost immediately broken at the first table, which had twenty or so soups. For a long time I sipped on the simple chicken noodle soup. It was one of my childhood favorites. That was when Mr. Everdeen was still alive and he was able to afford the soup. I hated to admit that the Capitol's was much better than the one back in District 12. My resolve was definitely broken when I encountered a creamy pumpkin brew sprinkled with slivered nuts and tiny black seeds.

"I could just eat this all night!" I cheered happily.

It only increased the amount of cheers from the Capitol people. They loved that I loved what they had to offer. It was what eventually turned me off from eating any more of the concoction. I tried to stop eating but I weakened again at a clear green broth that I could only describe as tasting like springtime, and again when I tried a frothy pink soup dotted with raspberries. Faces appeared before us suddenly, names were exchanged that I immediately forgot, pictures were taken every few seconds, and annoying kisses were brushed on cheeks.

Apparently my Mockingjay pin had spawned a new fashion sensation, because several people came up to me to show me their accessories. My bird had been replicated on belt buckles, embroidered into silk lapels, and even tattooed in intimate places. Cato had saved me from a number of awkward conversations and showings. Everyone wanted to wear the winner's token. I could only imagine how nuts the who thing made President Snow. But what could he do? The Games were such a hit here, where the knives were only a symbol of a desperate girl trying to save her lover.

Cato and I made no effort to find company but we were constantly sought out. We were what no one wanted to miss at the party. I acted delighted at each new person that presented themselves for me to speak to, but I had zero interest in the Capitol people. I wanted to be far away from them. And they were only distractions from the food. Every table presented new temptations and even on my restricted one-taste-per-dish regimen, I began filling up quickly. I picked up a small roasted bird, bit into it, and my tongue flooded with orange sauce. It was incredible.

But I made Cato eat the remainder because I wanted to keep tasting things, and the idea of throwing away food, as I saw so many people doing so casually, was abhorrent to me. After about ten tables I was stuffed, and we had only sampled a small number of the dishes available. Eventually Effie brought us out of the lobby of President Snow's mansion and into what I could only assume was the library with all of the books lining the walls.

"The library. All mahogany," Effie informed as we walked into the room. The books, I realized, were all politics. I scoffed and walked forward, trying to avoid touching anyone besides Cato or Haymitch. "Hello, hello." Effie was greeting a number of her friends. "Not yet, not yet. Oh. Curtains." Effie ran her hands through someone's hat that vaguely resembled curtains. "Everybody who's anybody is here and they all want to meet you. Flavius. Octavia." I waved at my Styling Team.

"Try one of these. They're divine," Octavia said.

Just then the rest of my Prep Team descended on us. Flavius and Venia came sprinting over as fast as they could in their heels and I smiled at them. As irritable as they made me I was happy to see them. It was rather amusing to see them anyways. They were all nearly incoherent between the alcohol that they had consumed and their ecstasy at being at such a grand affair. Prep Teams were never invited to the marvelous parties like this one. Only because I was a Victor were they invited.

"Why aren't you eating?" Octavia asked me.

"I have been, but I can't hold another bite," I said.

They all laughed as if that was the silliest thing that they had ever heard. "No one lets that stop them!" Flavius said. They led us over to a table that held tiny stemmed wineglasses filled with clear liquid. "Drink this!"

Cato picked one up to take a sip and they lost it. "Not here!" Octavia shrieked.

"You have to do it in there," Venia said, pointing to doors that led to the toilets. "Or you'll get it all over the floor!"

Cato and I stared at each other before looking at the glass again and putting it together. "You mean this will make me puke?" he asked.

My Prep Team laughed hysterically. "Of course, so you can keep eating. I've been in there twice already. Everyone does it, or else how would you have any fun at a feast?" Venia said.

For a while I just stared at them. They were all laughing. Effie, Venia, Flavius, and Octavia. That was when I spotted how many people were holding the little fluted wineglasses. Everyone was doing it. Just like she said. I was speechless as I glanced around and stared at the pretty little glasses and all that they implied. It was horrible what these people could do. Cato set his back on the table with such precision you would think that it might detonate.

"Come on, Aspen, let's dance."

That was definitely what I needed. Music filtered down from the clouds as he led me away from the Prep Team, the table, and out onto the floor. We knew only a few dances at home, the kind that went with fiddle and flute music and required a good deal of space. But in District 2 they were taught these kind of dances. So Cato led and let me follow. The music was slow and dreamlike, so Cato pulled me into his arms and we moved in a circle with practically no steps at all. You could do that dance on a pie plate. We were quiet for a while. Then Cato spoke in a strained voice.

"You go along, thinking you can deal with it, thinking maybe they're not so bad, and then you -"

He cut himself off. All I could think of was the emaciated bodies of the children on our kitchen table as Katniss's mother prescribed what the parents couldn't give. More food. Now that we were rich, she would send some home with them. But often in the old days, there was nothing to give and the child was past saving anyways. And here in the Capitol they were vomiting for the pleasure of filling their bellies again and again. Not from some illness of body or mind and not from spoiled food. It was what everyone did at a party. Expected. Part of the fun.

One day when I dropped by to give Hazelle the game, Vick was home sick with a bad cough. Being part of Gale's family, the kid had to eat better than ninety percent of the rest of District 12. But he still spent about fifteen minutes talking about how they'd opened a can of corn syrup from Parcel Day and each had a spoonful on bread and were going to maybe have more later in the week. How Hazelle had said he could have a bit in a cup of tea to soothe his cough but he wouldn't feel right unless the others had some too. If it was like that at Gale's, what was it like in the other houses?

"Cato, they bring us here to fight to the death for their entertainment. Really, this is nothing by comparison," I said.

"I know. I know that. It's just sometimes I can't stand it anymore. To the point where... I'm not sure what I'll do." He paused, then whispered, "Maybe we were wrong, Aspen."

"About what?"

"About trying to subdue things in the Districts."

His words completely shocked me. But they were the truth. I hadn't known that it bothered him that much. But Cato had told me so much before. He had mentioned more than once that District 2 wasn't quite as well off as I had always thought that they were. Even they sometimes had problems getting food to all of their residents. And when there was enough food, it was always just enough. No one would waste it. My head turned swiftly from side to side, but no one seemed to have heard. The camera crew was sidetracked at a table of shellfish and the couples dancing around us were either too drunk or too self-involved to notice.

"Sorry," he said.

He should be. This was no place to be voicing such thoughts. "Save it for the train," I said.

But his words had triggered something in me. He was right. This was all so wrong. "Aspen? Are you alright?" Cato asked.

Cato twirled us, his hand low on my back. "You're right. Look around you, Cato. It might be like this in District 2 -"

"It isn't," Cato interrupted.

"But this isn't anything like District 12. People are starving back home. I damn near starved there."

"I know," Cato whispered.

"Peeta... Peeta was the only reason I lived. He saved Katniss and Prim. Here they just throw away more stuff -" I continued until I was interrupted.

Haymitch placed his hand on my shoulder and interrupted my dance with Cato. It had almost startled me. And for a moment I was really hoping that no one had overheard what we were just saying. Especially if the person behind us was someone that could kill us. Of course, that was pretty much everyone in here. We broke apart and stood to look at Haymitch. He was standing with a man that I had never seen before.

"Aspen. Cato. This... is Plutarch Heavensbee," Haymitch said.

We both nodded to the man. Cato extended a hand to shake and I pressed a small kiss against his cheek - as Effie had taught me to do so many times before. Plutarch was an older man who looked to be maybe ten years older than Haymitch, with hair that was thinning and a pale blonde. He was heavy set and had a smile that cut right through you. I wondered if he was from the Districts. He was rather plain. Nothing about him said that he was from the Capitol. For a moment he almost reminded me of Cinna.

"He wanted to meet the both of you before you two had to leave in the morning. He is the new Head Gamemaker. Successor to Seneca Crane," Haymitch informed us.

My heart nearly stopped. Seneca had told me about him after the Games had ended. This was the man that would be running the next Games. This was the man that would be in charge of the Quarter Quell. He was one of the people who supported the Games. He wanted to watch innocent people slaughter each other. Why the hell did Haymitch want me to meet him? The only reason that I could think of was because Plutarch had ordered Haymitch to introduce us. But why me? Why not Cato? He was the fighter between the two of us. But I was the Mockingjay.

"It's a tough act to follow," Cato said.

"Cato!" Effie warned.

My face warped into a scowl as Effie and Plutarch laughed awkwardly. "Cato. May I steal her for a dance?"

Part of me wanted to beg him to say no but I knew that Cato couldn't do that. He smiled at Plutarch and backed away, giving my hip a small squeeze. "Please. Just don't get too attached," Cato teased.

He was so much better at this than me. "I will try very hard. But your lovely bride-to-be seems very easy to become attached to," Plutarch said.

"She is," Cato said.

No part of me wanted to dance with Plutarch Heavensbee. I wanted nothing more than to dig my nails into his palms to force him to release me but I had to play diplomat. So I let him lead me into a dance. I didn't want to feel his hands, one resting against mine, and one on my hip. I wasn't used to being touched, except by Cato and my family, and I ranked Gamemakers somewhere below maggots in terms of creatures I wanted in contact with my skin. But he seemed to sense this and held me almost at arm's length as we turned on the floor. I hated to admit that I appreciated it.

"I would hate to stand between a man and his bride to be," Plutarch said. "The Girl on Fire. It is such a pleasure to meet you. I've seen you everywhere recently. I've heard even more about you."

My eyes narrowed. "I hope I live up to the rumors," I said.

"You outshine them."

"Thank you."

"How are you enjoying the party?"

 _Be careful Aspen. This is his first impression_. He could make something awful when it came to what happened to my Tributes in the Quarter Quell. Even if I was long gone from District 12 and the rest of Panem by then. I knew that I couldn't say anything too offensive. That would have been very dangerous. But I also couldn't make him think that he could step all over me. I had to make a balance. Clearing my throat, I looked around at anything except for Plutarch as I thought about an appropriate answer.

"Well it isn't like I haven't seen it before. The Games were postponed for a day so there was a party," I informed him.

"I'm aware," Plutarch said.

"But this is so much more than it was last year. It's a little overwhelming," I said.

He laughed lightly. "It's appalling," he said. My eyes shot up to him. Maybe he wasn't quite so typical. What kind of Gamemaker thought that anything to do with the Capitol or the Games was appalling? "Still if you abandon your wrong judgment it can be fun."

There went my bit of faith. My eyes narrowed and for a moment I let my tongue loose. "Seems like that is the theme of the whole Capitol. Abandon all senses of wrong and right and sit back and enjoy. How different the world would be if all of the Districts had the leisure to think that way too," I said.

Unfortunately he didn't let my comment go unnoticed. "I had heard that you had a sharp tongue on you," he said.

"Perhaps I learned it from my parents."

His grin turned upwards again. "Perhaps. I'm glad that you haven't disappointed me. Of course, I knew that you weren't one to disappoint," he said.

"I'm glad to not disappoint."

"You'd never disappoint. Would you?"

"Of course not." He grinned again. Either he thought that I was genuinely funny or he was thinking of ways to continue making my life miserable. "So are you having fun?" I asked, hoping to distract the man from my earlier comment.

"I'm Head Gamemaker. Fun is my job."

The Head Gamemaker knew something about fun? Depended on who you asked, I supposed. "Is that so?" I asked. He grinned at me again. Clearly he thought that I was extremely amusing. "When Seneca Crane had too much fun he seemed to lose his job. Doesn't sound very fun to me."

To my shock it seemed that Plutarch was actually surprised at my statement. And he definitely seemed uncomfortable at my mention of the previous Head Gamemaker. Why was that? They all knew that Seneca Crane had nearly been killed. So why was everyone acting so nervous about it? Things were fishy here in the Capitol, just like they had always been, but things were getting worse. Every day it seemed like something new was happening. And I seemed to be at the center of it.

"Seneca decided to... uh... renounce his position his position of the Head Gamemaker after your Games," Plutarch said.

"Decided," I scoffed.

He had told me that it wasn't his choice. "Perhaps it was just too much fun for him to handle," he suggested.

Forcing myself to look up, I finally held my head up to look Plutarch Heavensbee in the eyes and I shook my head at him. He raised his eyebrows at me and I waited for him to say something but he never did. He grinned at me and I took it as a sign to continue speaking. He was clearly interested in what else I wanted to say. The new Head Gamemaker made me nervous but he didn't do the same things to me that Seneca Crane did. But maybe that was because of the things that I knew that Seneca would do to me.

"He decided to renounce his position just like he decided to let me live when I pulled out the daggers?" I asked. The grin on his face spread. "I know the one reason that he's still alive. It's me."

He didn't need to know anything else about the old Head Gamemaker but he needed to know that I wasn't a stupid kid that had lucked out. I wasn't just some rebel without a cause. I was a seriously pissed off District 12 resident that wasn't going down without a fight.

"Perhaps that's true," Plutarch said.

"I know that it is."

"Head Gamemakers have never had the most secure job in the world. I would think that you would know that over anyone else in this place."

My head tilted to the side at his little comment. Why be here? Especially if he thought that this was all appalling. "Well if they don't have a secure job than why are you here?" I asked.

He smiled at me and shook his head. "Same reason as you," he said. I knitted my eyebrows. Being forced? The Capitol didn't force people to become Head Gamemaker. There was a line for that job. "I volunteered."

The two of us continued to spin around the dance floor. I was glad that he said something else to keep me from focusing on his last comment. We chitchatted about the party, about the entertainment, about the food, and then, finally, he made a joke about avoiding punch since training. I didn't get it for a while. Then I realized that he was the man who tripped backward into the punch bowl when I shot an arrow and threw the knives at the Gamemakers during the training session. There was now a wide grin on my face. I knew that I'd seen him before.

"Oh, you're one who -"

I laughed and cut myself off, remembering him splashing back into the punch bowl. "Yes. And you'll be pleased to know I've never recovered," Plutarch said.

"Well there were twenty-two other kids that never recovered too," I said, before I could stop myself.

 _Idiot!_ Plutarch smiled. "You truly are a delight," Plutarch said.

 _Change the subject, Aspen_. "Are you planning the Quarter Quell Games already?" I asked.

"Oh, yes. Well, they've been in the works for years, of course. Arenas aren't built in a day. But the, shall we say, flavor of the Games is being determined now. Believe it or not, I've got a strategy meeting tonight," he said. Plutarch stepped back and pulled out a gold watch on a chain from a vest pocket. He flipped open the lid, spotted the time, and frowned. "I'll have to be going soon." He turned the watch so I could see the face. "It starts at midnight."

"That seems late for -"

My words were coming out just fine but then something distracted me. Something very, very, strange. Something that I never would have expected to see. Plutarch had run his thumb across the crystal face of the watch and for just a moment an image appeared, glowing as if it was lit by candlelight. It was another Mockingjay. Exactly like the pin on my dress. A replica of mine back home. Only this one disappeared. He snapped the watch closed. Was he trying to let me see it?

"That's very pretty," I said.

"Oh, it's more than pretty. It's one of a kind. If anyone asks about me, say I've gone home to bed. The meetings are supposed to be kept secret. But I thought it'd be safe to tell you," he said.

"Yes. Your secret's safe with me."

"Well, I'll see you next summer at the Games, Aspen. Best wishes on your engagement, and good luck with your mother."

"I'll need it," I said. He was about to leave the dance when I remembered something. "Plutarch. Why would you volunteer? Who would give up a safe life as some Capitol person to get so close to the Games? An unsecure job with some of the most unstable people surrounding you."

I motioned to the colorful mob around us. "Ambition," he said. That was a stupid answer. It was the one that he was expected to say. "A chance to make the Games mean something."

That time I couldn't help the laugh that escaped my throat. "The Games don't mean anything. It only means to scare us," I said. He grinned at me. "You might never have seen it but I have. I've seen the fear on the faces of those kids that file into the Square on the same day every year. I've seen the tears glisten in the eyes of the kids who know to start counting their days. I know how it feels to lose control of your life."

For a moment I thought I saw something like pride flash through his eyes but it was gone before I could place it. Plutarch Heavensbee was not the man that I was expecting. He grinned at me and I realized that the music had already stopped and we were no longer moving. We were simply standing together, not breaking eye contact. Thankfully the cameras that were taking pictures of us would likely just say that we were so caught up in chatting with each other that we'd barely noticed the end of the song. He leaned down to my ear and I froze.

"Maybe it's you who inspired me to come back," Plutarch said. I shivered. He looked behind us and I followed his eyes. President Snow was standing atop the balcony and Plutarch broke away from me. We bowed - a common gesture in the Capitol. "The Presidential Welcome. Have a nice night, Aspen. I'm sure we'll meet again."

Plutarch disappeared and I wander through the crowd, looking for Cato, as strangers congratulated me. On my engagement, on my victory at the Games, and on my choice of lipstick. I responded, but really I was thinking about Plutarch showing off his pretty, one-of-a-kind watch to me. There was something strange about it. Almost clandestine. But why? Maybe he thought that someone else would steal his idea of putting a disappearing Mockingjay on a watch face. Yes. He probably paid a fortune for it and now he couldn't show it to anyone because he was afraid that someone would make a cheap, knockoff version. Only in the Capitol.

Effie walked up to me and I stared at her with a blank face. "Aspen. Come. The President awaits," she said.

I didn't care if he was waiting. He could die waiting. But that would mean that my family would die too. "Wonderful," I groaned.

Begrudgingly I followed her over to the area beneath the balcony. Snow was sipping on his wine as everyone filed underneath the place. Cato came to stand next to me. "You okay?" he asked.

"Of course. How could we ever make the precious President wait?" Both Cato and Haymitch scoffed.

"Do you think we convinced him?" Cato asked softly.

Snow held his glass out and an Avox adjusted his microphone. My heart dropped into my stomach. Now was the wrong time for us to be saying things like that. The two of us smiled sadly at each other and my heart dropped. If he didn't think that we had convinced President Snow I hated to hear what the man thought of us. But I knew that right now he would say nothing negative about the Victory Tour. He would thank us and compliment us. He would say what the Capitol people wanted to hear. He would play his part. Just like everyone else had to play theirs.

"Do you think we can ever really convince him?" I asked Cato. "He will always see exactly what he wants to see. We've done everything that we can. I'm not sure what else we can do."

"Tonight," President Snow started. I looked up. "On this the last day of their tour. I want to welcome our two Victors. Two young people who embody our ideals. Of strength and valor. And I personally want to congratulate them on the announcement of their engagement. Your love has inspired us. And I know it will go on inspiring us. Everyday. For as long as you may live," he said.

He raised his glass to us and the other Capitol people followed suit. They were all cheering but I knew that President Snow would sooner have me shot where I stood. There was no doubt in my mind that he wanted to shoot me where I stood. Haymitch handed both Cato and I flutes on champagne - that I made sure wouldn't make me puke - and we raised them up to President Snow. I plastered on a fake smile and drank down the champagne. It had a fruity taste to it and I had to force myself to keep it down. It tasted like roses. With my smile still on my face I leaned over to Cato and stood tall as I whispered in his ear.

"And we all know how short he would like that to be," I said, faking a smile to make the people think I was whispering words of love.

The two of us raised our glasses one last time to President Snow before we were allowed to leave and go about our business. We turned away from the balcony as President Snow disappeared over the edge and I took Cato's hand. But we weren't together for a moment before Brutus parted the crowd and walked up to us. He was dressed in a dark red suit and looked like he had actually washed himself. I had thought that he was coming over to tell Cato something but instead he held out his hand to me. I raised my eyebrows at him and stared for a moment.

"Miss Girl on Fire," he greeted.

"Funny," I said, rolling my eyes.

"Since it seems like you're giving out dances, I think I'd like to take my own turn."

He was holding a hand out to me. Even Cato looked shocked. I raised one eyebrow. "Really, Brutus?" I asked.

"Come on, kid," he said.

Enobaria walked over and I scowled when Cato grabbed her hand and pulled her out for a dance, shoving me into Brutus as he walked past. _Traitor._ Brutus grabbed me and brought me onto the floor. "What do you think you're doing?" I asked.

"Dancing."

"I've danced in this place enough for one lifetime with enough assholes that my head could explode."

Brutus merely laughed and spun me. He was a pain in the ass but I had to admit that he was a good dancer. Had Cato had gotten his dance moves from Brutus? "It's only one dance kiddo. And how could you be so cruel to a man that wanted to make sure that you lived through the Games?" he asked.

"That's a good joke."

"I did."

"I doubt that."

He wanted Cato to kill me through the entire Games. He was still hoping that Cato might kill me. "Don't look at me like that. You know, I wanted you to live the entire time," Brutus said.

"Did you now?"

"The thing with the little girl... Sweet and sickening. But then I saw what you were really capable of. You were so tough. So irritating too," he added.

As he twirled me again on the floor I rolled my eyes. He was showing off for the Capitol and they were eating it up. Cameras were flashing everywhere and I was forcing a smile on my face. We both probably looked happy but I was pissed. I just had to keep smiling. President Snow wouldn't be happy if I had a frown on my face. Brutus knew exactly how to irritate me. He always had and it was only getting worse now.

"Wow... Thank you. It takes quite the man to admit that he's intimidated by a little girl," I said, a cruel smile on my face.

"Yes. You're quite frightening."

"A girl that charmed your toughest Tribute and made you look like a fool more than once."

Brutus scoffed and dipped me lowly. I shrieked in surprise and he laughed loudly. "What Cato sees in you I'll never know."

"That makes two of us," I said, to try and keep him from being able to embarrass me even more.

"How about the cousin?" Brutus asked, grinning.

"What are you -?"

"Ah, ah, I have something else to say. Something to say before our dance ends. Things are coming to a close here in the Capitol. Be careful."

That was the first time in a long time that I had seen a serious look on Brutus's face. He always looked like he wanted to laugh. The serious look was strange. Every biting comment that I had went out the window with his last comment and instead I let my thoughts all center on his words. Why was everyone telling me that things were changing? There was a plan going on here. Why wasn't I involved in it?

"What do you mean, things are coming to a close?" I asked. The Victor remained silent. "Brutus, you aren't the first and I'm sure that you won't be the last person to tell me that things are changing. I see that. But people seem to all know what's going on and I don't. Why are people keeping things from me?"

"You don't need to know," he said.

 _Damn it, people, I'm trying to fix things_. "Let me in. Let me help. I fucked things up here. I can help get them right," I argued.

Brutus twirled a strand of my hair around his finger and tugged gently. I shook it behind my shoulders. He smiled brightly and dug his fingers into the middle of my back. It hurt but I refused to say anything. "Brave little girl. But it won't work. For now we just need you to do what you're doing," Brutus said.

"And what am I doing? Looking like a fool?" I asked.

"That's always what's been happening."

"Thanks, asshole," I snapped.

"You might not know it, but you're playing your part perfectly."

The dance was ending so he gave a low bow. "And what happens when you need me to do something?" I asked.

He smiled at me. He was acting for the cameras but I wasn't. I was furious. What the hell was going on that no one would tell me? "It's on a need-to-know basis," Brutus said.

"And this isn't need-to-know? What happens when I have no idea what to do? This isn't a smart tactic. For anyone. I could end up messing things up even more," I said. He nodded like I wasn't talking about potentially killing thousands of people. He was treating it like I was suggesting a place for lunch that he wasn't fond of. "Why won't you just let me in?"

My hand was out and Brutus caught it, planting a small kiss on the back of my hand. He let it drop and pulled me into a hug. "Trust me, Aspen. When it's time for you to do something, we'll tell you," he said. Finally he backed off and gave me a smile. He walked by me and laughed when he saw the distraught look on my face. "In the meantime, enjoy the food and people. Be a good girl while you're here. I'll talk to you later, Mockingjay."

"What did you just call me?" I snapped.

"Enjoy your night," he added, as he passed me on the floor.

My heart was pounding in my chest but thankfully the flashes of the camera were going down. Since I was no longer dancing there was no point in grabbing pictures. They had already gotten pictures of me standing around. The crowd began to rush around me and I felt myself getting light-headed. My eyes scanned the crowd for anyone that I knew but I couldn't find anyone. Cato and Haymitch were nowhere to be found. Brutus and Enobaria were gone too. Effie looked just like everyone else so even if I could have found her I wouldn't have been sure. I even looked for Flavius or Octavia but they were nowhere to be found either.

Walking towards the garden to try and find someone that I knew, a voice that I did know called out to me. "So, how was it?" Finnick called.

"What are you talking about?" I asked.

"Last night, I mean."

"I'm not in the mood to talk about Seneca Crane."

"You're never in the mood to talk."

"So take the hint," I snapped at Finnick.

"Come on, Aspen. Dance with me," he said.

As he walked past me he grabbed my hand. It startled me slightly when he pulled me after him. I should have known that I wasn't getting out of this without a dance. As Finnick pulled me back to the middle of the floor and cameras began to flash. Of course. Two of the most popular Victors dancing together would get them a lot of money. It was like what would happen if Cato went and danced with Cashmere. Although I would have an issue with that.

"You know, Finnick, I think I'm a little tired for dancing. How about a drink?" I asked with a bright smile. He only pushed me into him and began to twirl slowly. "Or how about another dance? Sure thing. As for last night nothing happened."

"Is that so?"

I leaned in slightly closer. No one else could hear this. "I'm serious. I got in there and he was creepy and he almost did but he backed out of it. Gave me another night to gather my wits. He just congratulated me on my engagement and then I left," I admitted, choosing to omit the part about tonight.

Finnick gave me his award-winning smile and his dimples showed. He was so obnoxiously good-looking. Just like Cato. It was no wonder that they got on swimmingly. "No, we'll get to Seneca Crane. That wasn't what I meant," he said.

My eyebrows knitted together. Was I really that stupid? "So what did you mean?" I asked.

"I meant another man."

"There is no other man."

"Sure there is. With lighter hair and eyes, a little taller, bigger build," he said.

My face paled. How had he known? "Nothing happened between -"

"No! Don't you bullshit me," he said. My jaw snapped closed. "I know the look in your eyes, I saw the slight shame when you walked in with Cato."

"I did not have any shame in my eyes."

"Yes. You did."

"No, I didn't!"

"You're a good liar, Aspen, but not to me. I never had a sister but I do have you."

He had no idea that he meant the same thing to me. "Aren't I lucky?" I asked teasingly.

"So I have to do this."

Gale was always the one to chew me out when I did something inappropriate and it was always worse when I lied to him. Maybe Finnick wasn't as good at detecting lies. "Okay, so you think that you saw some shame in my eyes. So what does that prove?" I asked, with a challenging eyebrow.

"It proves a number of things."

"It proves that you like to overreact to everything. I went back to my room and went to bed," I said with a straight face.

He wouldn't get the truth out of me. Just when I thought that I won, Finnick gave me a knowing smile. "Or it could be that I went to your room looking for you a few hours ago," he said.

"I wasn't there."

"Of course you weren't. I should have figured that you wouldn't be there. You were getting ready with Cinna." My smirk fell. He hadn't. Had he? "But I still went into your room and saw a little white sheet under your bed. Thinking that it had just fallen there I picked it up and what do you think that I saw?" he asked.

I knew that my face was giving me away when he nodded at me. "You saw a white sheet," I muttered.

"Yes, that's right. You have no wounds so it wasn't from a fight. Nothing that red on you. So that leaves one option. Had it been from Seneca, you would have gone straight to the bathroom. So that leaves one person," he said.

"You're quite the detective."

Finnick's eyes shot over towards the bar and I followed his sight line. He was staring towards the top of the stairs where Cato was standing. He was with Brutus and Haymitch and the three men waved at me. I gave a weak smile and sighed when Finnick spun me away from them. How could I have thought that I would get away with it? I should have known that someone would figure it out. I should have known that it would be Finnick. I knew that my face was a brilliant red and I really hoped that it was too dark for the cameras to catch.

"Well... yeah. Do you want to yell at me? Congratulate me?" I asked.

"Not quite."

"Please don't make this any more awkward than it has to be," I weakly begged.

It would have been worse with Haymitch. The District 4 Victor grinned and squeezed my hand gently. "I could go up to Cato and ask him -" he began before I pulled my hand from his shoulder and punched him roughly in the stomach. "Ow!"

"You will do no such thing!"

He regained his composure quickly. Cato was watching and he looked slightly concerned but I shook my head with a smile. "Okay, fine. I was only kidding anyways. I'm glad that you were with someone that you love. You deserved at least that," he said.

"Thank you," I whispered.

At least he wasn't chewing me out. "About Seneca. Did he say anything else? Did he say anything about you coming back tonight or anything like that?" Finnick asked.

At this point I only had two options here. I could lie and tell him that Seneca had said that I didn't want me to come back and spend some time with him tonight. Unfortunately I knew that Finnick would see right through my lies. Still I could try. There was a small chance that it would work. Or there was always the chance that I could tell him the truth. It might hurt the both of us but at least I would be able to tell someone about it.

"Yes. He did," I finally admitted.

Finnick looked heartbroken. "Tell me what happened," he prompted.

"He said that he would see me tonight. What should I do? I mean, I can't just say no. He'll kill everyone that means something to me. And Cato. He said that Cato's sister and niece would be first. It doesn't matter. I can't just deny him," I said, fighting my tears back.

"Calm down," Finnick whispered.

"I can't just say yes either. I don't know what I would do if I just let it happen," I said honestly, fear bubbling in my stomach.

Finnick grabbed my face, forcing me to look at him. We had stopped dancing and now we were just standing on the floor as pairs continued to twirl around us. "Listen to me. You're going to go in there tonight," he said.

"Finnick," I said weakly.

There was nothing that Finnick could do but I was hoping for more than that. "You're going to be quiet and listen to him. If he tries something, fight him on it. Just trust me. Do it," he said.

"But... What about everyone I care about?"

"You trust me. Do what I tell you. Understand?"

"Yes."

"It'll be fine. I promise."

Would it? I trusted Finnick. He wouldn't just give me bad advice. He knew what he was talking about. "Seems like I don't know why I'm doing anything anymore," I said.

"Every Victor feels that way at one point or another."

"I just do what people tell me to do and I pretend that I understand what's going on. I'm used to it by now," I said.

Finnick let me sink into him. He had no idea how much he meant to me. I hoped that one day I could find the words to tell him. "I'm sorry, Aspen, but this is the safest thing for you right now," Finnick said.

"To keep me in the dark?" I asked bitterly.

"Trust me. Things will fall into place with time. I love you, girl. You're stuck with me. With all of us. Just don't lose faith, alright?"

"Never. I love you too, Finnick."

"Good girl. Thank you for the dance. I'll see you soon. When you get back for the next Games," he said.

"It's coming soon."

My eyes fell. I had been hoping to see him before then. "I have business to attend to in the morning. Keep in touch, alright?" Finnick asked.

"Of course."

Finnick planted a small kiss on my cheek before walking off and I sighed. Once more, I was alone. I didn't like it. I wanted to go hunt down Cato. But as I turned I saw that Cato was walking up to me. He had a flute of champagne in his hand and he held it out to me. Just as I was about to take it and thank him though a bone chilling voice came from behind us. No. Not him. Not tonight. I turned back to see President Snow standing with his hands clasped behind his back. The band went silent and I knew that every set of eyes in the room were on the three of us.

"Pardon me, Mr. Hadley," President Snow.

"President Snow," Cato greeted.

"I was wondering if you might mind if I have a dance with your fiancé?"

"Please," Cato said, not hesitating.

Of course not. He couldn't. Cato stepped back and the floor cleared for us. "She seems so busy tonight that it's hard to get anywhere near her. But we always find a way. Thank you," he called as Cato cleared the floor for us. Snow motioned for the band to start back up and the two of us rocked slowly. "Are you enjoying the party?"

"Yes."

"You seem very quiet tonight, Miss Antaeus. Are you feeling ill?" he asked, as if he didn't know why I was being quiet.

If I said something stupid there were people around just waiting to kill me and cameras that could document every second. So instead I smiled at him and shook my head, pretending like he was shaking me out of a thought. "No, sir. It's just been a long night. It will be a long night. The party is lovely. I hear that this is all for Cato and I's engagement. I wanted to thank you. It is so much for you to do for us," I said, with a grateful smile.

"We're happy to do it," President Snow said.

"All for a silly little engagement too," I added with a little laugh.

He gave me a narrow smile. He knew that I was putting on a show for the cameras. It looked like he approved of my actions. "No price is too much for the favorite Victors," he said with a grin.

I giggled lightly. I wanted to punch myself. _Gale, please punch me in the head when I get back_. "We're very grateful," I said.

"We the people love to see our favorite Victors in love. It's quite charming. I'm glad that at least the people are under your spell."

The shock registered in my eyes. But my face remained in the stony smile. "Pardon?" I asked.

"Tell me, Aspen. What were you thinking of doing once you and Mr. Hadley get married?"

"I'm not sure that I understand."

"I mean where will you live?" he clarified.

There had been many questions that I was expecting him to ask me but that hadn't been one of them. "Honestly I hadn't thought that far yet. The proposal was a total shock to me," I said, hoping that he wouldn't see through that at least.

"Was it?" President Snow asked.

"Of course. I didn't know Cato felt that strongly for me. A marriage might be a while off. We are young and we have long lives ahead of us to think about things like that. And my mother may not even allow me," I said with an airy giggle.

"She does have a certain way about you and boys."

"I'm sure between the two of us we can get us married before I die," I said.

We certainly did have so much fun. President Snow smiled at me and laughed along with me for a moment. "I'm sure that you will. But the people do not want to wait," he said.

It was my wedding. Why did they think that anything that they wanted would happen? Oh, yeah, because my life isn't really mine. "When would they like to see it?" I asked.

"They want to see a unity between the two of you soon. Perhaps after the Quarter Quell. A perfect way to end what will be a perfect Games."

"Wonderful," I said, swallowing a lump in my throat.

"I'm glad that you agree with me. I have already had it arranged."

"The wedding?"

"That too. Your living conditions. You will live in District 2," he said, leaving no room for argument.

My smile finally fell and I stood with a straight face. As much as I was trying I couldn't get my smile back on my face. I noticed that the President was no longer pulling us lightly on the dance floor but I was the one who was leading. My feet were moving only on muscle memory. Our moves were beginning to get a little sharper and I realized that the song was coming to its climax. The song... How had I not noticed? It was the same song that he had played during our dance six months ago. The Hanging Tree. He was sending me a message. Do as you are told. Tread carefully.

"Was there no thought to consult me on these decisions?" I asked, with a dark scowl on my face.

He merely laughed at me and shook his head. The cameras flashed and I knew that they were catching me with a blank look. The pictures wouldn't sell. Not if I didn't look happy. "Of course not, Miss Antaeus. No one really cares what you think anymore," he said.

That wasn't true. My voice was clogging in my throat. "So I've seen," I snarled.

He knew that I meant Seneca Crane. "You are a figurehead. Exactly what you are meant to be," President Snow snarled.

"Of what?" I asked daringly.

His eyes narrowed. "You will say nothing, only what I want you to say. You will do nothing without my consent. And you will not argue," he said.

What the hell was happening? "Of course," I said blankly.

"For the sake of many," he said, giving a pointed look at where Cato and Finnick stood.

They were talking and laughing. They had no idea. President Snow let go of me and I was left in the middle of the floor, tears threatening to fall. "I'll do whatever you want," I muttered.

"Thank you for the dance, dear. You've gotten lighter on your feet."

That was the last thing that he said before walking off. He had a bad habit of leaving me stunned and heartbroken. There was nothing that I could do. Running was a bad enough idea. But it was the only thing that could keep the people that I loved alive. My knees were getting weak and I knew that tears were on the verge of falling. President Snow was wonderful at making me feel like less than a worm. A hand laid itself on my shoulder and I jumped.

"Calm down. Keep dancing," Haymitch said.

He grabbed me and began to spin me again. "Haymitch," I whispered.

I stared at him in shock but he wasn't looking at me. He was looking all around us. "Wipe the tears from your eyes. You'll be alright," he said.

I nodded, wiping my face discreetly. "Sorry," I muttered.

"Listen to me, you're alright. Anything that he said, just ignore. He knows what scares you and what gets to you. He will use that against him. Do not let him. Understand?"

"Yes."

"Good. Now get back out there, alright?"

"No problem," I said, as he gave me a reassuring smile.

 _Put on a brave face, Aspen_. "Don't let him see that his words get to you," he said, giving me one last piece of advice before letting me go.

His hand was still on the bottom of my back and he began to push me off towards the stairs. _Thank you, Haymitch_. We were finally leaving. It felt like we had been here for a year. I sighed shakily and headed for the bottom of the staircase. But, of course, before we could get there we were cut off by none other than Seneca Crane. He was in a pitch black suit and he actually looked rather nice out of his Gamemaker attire. But I knew the monster that was underneath. He smiled at the two of us and I felt Haymitch's hand tense on my back.

"Good evening, Mr. Abernathy. Aspen. You look lovely tonight," Seneca said.

"Thank you," I said.

"Please join me for a dance?" he asked, although I knew it was an order.

"My pleasure."

He held out his hand and I took it, shaking slightly. Haymitch nodded to me as we walked past and I breathed out slowly as Seneca brought me into a dancing position. "I've seen you dancing with quite a few people. I should have known that you would be a popular partner tonight," Seneca said.

"I'm still the new kid on the block."

"Perhaps they're just as entranced with you as I am."

"Perhaps."

"Have you shared a dance with your fiancé yet?"

I would still be dancing with him if it weren't for you people. If I had it my way we would be back home right now. The both of us. If I had it my way than I would have never known you. If I had it my way I would still be dancing with Finnick and you would be six feet underground. But I said none of that. Instead I just gave him a sharp nod.

"Briefly," I said.

My skin was crawling everywhere as I tried to look anywhere but at him. I felt like breaking his arm. It was hanging dangerously low. Not even Cato dared to keep his hand that low. "Why so silent, Aspen?" Seneca asked.

I wasn't playing any more of his games. "I have nothing to say," I said.

"I'm not as blind as people say that I am. After your little stunt, people said that I would have never seen it coming. They were wrong. I saw it coming from the beginning," he said.

"So why do nothing?" I asked.

"Isn't it obvious? Because I wanted you," Seneca said.

"Oh..." I muttered, disgusted.

"Anyways I see what you're doing. You always keep your eyes moving. Every other step you glance towards the door. You continuously check to make sure that Cato is close by. You keep a close eye on President Snow too. And you've done well avoiding me tonight."

He had no idea how much I hated him. Or maybe he did. I hoped that he did. "You are extremely observant," I said with a mean sneer.

"Thank you, darling."

"I am _not_ your darling."

"You might be happy to know that I have not been avoiding you tonight," I said.

Whether or not he believed it, I had not been avoiding him. I had just been getting dragged into dance after dance. That wasn't my fault. That was everyone else at this damn party. "Is that so?" he asked.

"I've merely been busy. It's like you said, I was a popular dance partner tonight," I said.

The song had to almost be over. Seneca smiled at me and nodded, apparently accepting my answer. "And the night is coming to a close. Isn't that so?" he asked.

I paled slightly. I knew what that meant. I wasn't getting out of this. No matter how hard I tried. I began to shake and I tried my hardest to stop it. But I knew that he felt it, judging by his smirk. "Yes," I muttered.

"Their night is coming to a close. But yours, yours is not. You still have a long night ahead of you," he said with a laugh.

My breathing picked up. What had I done to deserve this? "Of course," I whispered.

"It's a shame that the dress is so white. Although I suppose the little red hints are nice. Cinna is extremely talented, I'll give him that."

"Yes. He is."

"Although his following orders skills could use some improvement," Seneca sighed.

On the inside I was falling apart at the seams. Instead of showing him that I was weaker than he thought that I was, I shook my head and laughed at him. This asshole had ruined enough of my life. He had ruined the last year and people like him had ruined my life long before that. He would not ruin this too. He would not ruin my engagement and whatever was to come in the next few years. He was done screwing with me too.

"I thought that it was lovely. He does do such a wonderful job with his costumes. I see why he is so popular. Almost as popular as you were when you started," I added on.

Anger flashed through his eyes. He pulled me closer to him and his scent filled my nose. Cinnamon. And death. "Things change, Aspen. Things are always changing. I'm a prime example of how things change," he said.

"I suppose you are."

Our lips were almost touching and I felt myself pulling back slightly. _Not out here_. "Your world has changed much recently, hasn't it?" he asked, his peppermint breath fanning over my face.

"It's changed very much over the past six months," I said.

"I understand. My world has changed recently too. All thanks to you. You see, everything that has happened is thanks to you."

There was a little knowing smile on his face. He was acting just the way that everyone else had been acting over the past few weeks. I knew that people blamed me for everything that was happening in the Districts but everything that had happened to him? It wasn't my fault that President Snow had wanted him dead. He should have stopped me. And everything was not my fault. That was overstating things slightly.

"Excuse me?" I asked stupidly.

Seneca laughed at me like I was the butt of some stupid joke. Of course that probably was the whole thing. I really was the butt of the jokes all over Panem and I knew it. People in the Capitol were laughing at me all the time. I was sure that they made a sport of it.

"The fact that I am no longer the Head Gamemaker. President Snow threatening me the past few months. The fact that I am still alive. The popularity of certain people these days," he said.

"That's all your fault."

"The new Head Peacekeeper in your precious District. He should be arriving in the morning. I'm sure that you will meet him soon," Seneca said.

Had something happened to Cray? He was definitely not my favorite person and he was much disliked by the District, but I wanted to know what had happened. At least I knew Cray. Seneca met my step backwards and pushed back against me. The fact that we were pressed together would have normally bothered me greatly but my mind was currently trying to wrap around what he had just said. New Head Peacekeeper? It had been Cray for years. He was mean but he would always let us sell to each other as long as we kept the best pieces and cuts for him. I hadn't liked him but he was good enough.

"What do you mean a new Head Peacekeeper? When I left it was still Cray."

"He's still there," Seneca said.

"Cray has been there for years. Why is there a new one?" I asked.

Seneca was enjoying knowing things that I didn't. He smiled and laughed before shaking his head. "He was becoming a little too... senile," he said, as if struggling to find the words. "Not to worry. He will be doing just fine. A peaceful retirement." He would be dead before the end of winter. "The man that I am referring to is Romulus Thread. He is being transferred from District 2. They don't need him. They have the order. He knows all about you, Miss Antaeus."

"Do I have you to thank for that?"

"Oh, no. Everyone knows about you. I'm sure that he can't wait to meet you." I nearly vomited. The Peacekeepers in District 2 were known for their cruelty. Seneca backed off from me and gave me a little bow. On autopilot, I gave a little curtsy back and watched with a blank face as he walked back into the crowd. "Thank you for the dance. I'll see you in a little while," he said with a wink.

For a while I stood in the middle of the floor stupidly. How did this keep happening to me? Why was I always left in stunned silences? Why was I being treated like I was a stupid little kid. I let out a puff of air and shifted around on my feet. I nearly laughed when I realized that this had been happening to me almost all night. My partners would dance with me and then leave. Apparently I really was that much of a desired partner that they didn't even want to say goodbye to me. I turned back and smacked face first into Cato. I scoffed and backed up slightly.

"Well you look just thrilled," he joked.

I rolled my eyes. "Aren't I always?" I asked.

"Hello there, beautiful. What's a nice girl like you doing in a nasty place like this?" Cato asked.

I laughed lightly. I needed that. "'Fella done me wrong," I teased, stepping into him.

"Sounds like a nasty guy to me. How about a dance? Last one, I promise."

He added the last part when he saw my face. The cameras were flashing at us when they saw our playful and witty banter with each other. He pulled me onto the floor anyways, not giving me a moment to answer him. I had figured that it would happen. I didn't really mind. Cato began to swing us around the floor and I saw the cameras begin to flash even more. Of course. Everyone wanted a picture of the newly engaged couple.

"I'll hold you up to that. I think my feet are about to fall off," I joked.

"Heels hurt?"

"You're welcome to wear them and find out."

Cato laughed and we swung around the floor for a moment before I could no longer keep quiet. "What do you know about Romulus Thread?" I asked.

It was clear that I had surprised him when Cato cocked his head to the side. "Well that was unexpected," he said.

"I know. I'm sorry. Just - Can you tell me what you know about him?"

"Romulus Thread. Not much, really. He was one of the Peacekeepers in District 2. Used to hang around the Academy most of the time. Nasty guy. He always liked to watch the kids fight. He would threaten the ones that were too scared to fight."

"Sounds like a charmer."

"He made it a point to call me over when I got back after the Games. He would bring me over to the Academy and talk with me, right in front of the sword fighting area. I never walked away. I couldn't let him know he was bothering me."

"That was brave of you."

"Why?" Cato asked. "How do you even know his name?"

I had hoped that Seneca was only exaggerating the type of person that Romulus Thread was but it seemed like he was telling me the truth. "Seneca Crane told me that he would be the new Head Peacekeeper in District 12," I said.

"Really?"

"Yeah. I guess they're getting rid of Cray. He made it seem like Thread already knew me." Cato looked shocked. "Of course, I guess that everyone knows who I am," I added, with a bitter laugh.

Cato let his hand trail up to the side of my face to brush some hair back. Cameras were flashing wildly. "But only some of them know who you really are. The lucky ones," he said.

"Unlucky, I think you mean."

"I don't know. I think I'm pretty damn lucky."

"Thank you, Cato."

"Of course. Be careful when you get back home. Thread isn't known for being the nicest man. Watch yourself around him," Cato warned.

"Gladly," I said.

The last thing that I wanted to do was make Romulus Thread think that there was a reason that we had to meet each other. I didn't want him to speak to me. I already hated him more than anything. Just because of what he had been doing to Cato. We spun around the floor for a bit and I sighed as we spun past the bar in the far corner of the room. Six months ago I was dancing with the same man but I was thinking something very different. It made a small smile form on my face.

"Do you remember the first time that we went to one of these parties?" I asked.

Cato grinned at me. Of course he did. "It was a hard night to forget," he said.

"Six months ago today, we were standing here, dancing together. You were on my mind most of the night."

"Was I?"

"You were. I just kept thinking about you. What you were going to do to me."

"Like last night?"

He waggled his eyebrows and I blushed madly. "Shut up!" I barked. "I was so afraid. The Games were only two mornings from then. I remember thinking that you looked so nice."

"You didn't look half bad either," Cato teased.

"But you were ready. I couldn't get involved with someone like you. I made it a goal to stay away from you. But it didn't work very well," I said with a laugh. He joined in. Once we settled down I smiled up at him. "I'm glad that it didn't."

"Me too." Cato smiled at me and kissed the top of my head. "I remember the party too. I remember you dancing with the Sponsors. You looked so confused. I thought that you were going to either throw up or scream," he said.

We both laughed. He was right about that. "I thought that I was going to," I admitted.

"And then you danced with Peeta. Thresh too," he said. My gut twisted. Two wonderful men. I wish they were both here. I missed them both desperately. "I remember Marvel walking up to you and I couldn't let him. It was jealousy. Burning jealousy."

"I knew that you were jealous," I said, laughing.

"I loved the attention that I got from you. So I grabbed you and forced a dance. I wasn't going to kiss you. I really wasn't."

"Really?" I asked, surprised.

"I wanted to but I wasn't. But that was when I saw it. Somewhere deep in your eyes. I saw that you wanted me to. So I did. I couldn't believe that I did," he admitted.

Part of me didn't believe it. He wasn't going to do it? I couldn't believe that he almost hadn't done it. That would have changed things. I didn't know if we would have ever kissed if we hadn't kissed that night at the party. And then where would we be right now? It seemed like such a Cato thing to do that I was surprised that I hadn't seen it coming from the beginning of the night. Of course that might have made things very different today.

"I'm glad that you did," I said, before leaning up to kiss him.

Whistles came from the crowd and I rolled my eyes. I pulled away and gave Cato a small smirk. "What are you smiling about?" Cato asked.

"I knew that you were jealous. I saw it in your eyes," I told him.

"I'm not very subtle, am I?" Cato asked.

"No. You aren't. I thought it was just because I was getting the attention. I thought that you were jealous of me. I never thought that you were jealous of them," I said softly.

"Trust me. I was."

There was actually someone in this world that was jealous of someone that got too close to me. Of course, I knew that both Gale and Seneca Crane were jealous of Cato. Maybe I really was more desirable than I thought that I was. Cato's hand dug into the bottom of my back but for once I didn't mind it. Instead I let him. It was nice to know that someone wanted me. But this someone wanted me for more than my looks. He loved me. He had been willing to die for me. He almost had. Seneca was willing to be with me to save his own life. Cato was willing to give his life for me.

"You're mine," Cato growled. I blushed furiously. It didn't make me nervous anymore. It just stirred up feelings that I had recently discovered. "I always thought that I made that clear."

"You did," I whispered.

"Seems like everyone is leaving. I suppose that means that the party is over. Ready to go back?"

He dropped his hand from my back. I grinned at him and nodded excitedly. Glancing up at the clock I saw that it was already well past midnight. Just as we had thought that it would be by the time that we were allowed to leave. We had been here for hours now. It felt like we had been here for weeks. Maybe that was because I had been like a plate of appetizers all night. Most people were gone already and I saw Effie motioning for us to follow her to the doors.

"You have no idea," I told Cato with a grin.

"Shouldn't we thank President Snow? It's his house," Cato said.

"Oh, he's not a big one for parties. Too busy," Effie said.

"Awesome," I chirped happily.

"I've already arranged for the necessary notes and gifts to be sent to him tomorrow. There you are!"

Effie gave a little wave to two Capitol attendants who had an inebriated Haymitch propped up between them. Both Cato and I snorted as we left the party. Cato grabbed my hand and the two of us headed for the staircase so we could leave. By now I was definitely ready for bed. It had been a long night. Naturally before I could get to the top of the staircase a hand set down on my arm and I turned back to see a Peacekeeper standing behind me. Damn it. I was hoping that I might get away from him. All I needed to do was to make it through tonight.

"Miss Antaeus. I have direct orders to bring you with me," the Peacekeeper said.

"Now? It's late," I groaned.

"Not to worry. You will be back shortly. Seneca Crane is requesting your audience this evening."

Audience. I knew exactly what kind of audience he was requesting. But then it occurred to me. The Peacekeeper probably had no idea why Seneca Crane wanted to talk to me. Everyone was staring at me. Effie was smiling contentedly. She didn't realize that this wasn't a good thing. She just thought that it was sweet that I spoke to Seneca Crane so much. Haymitch suddenly looked very sober. Cato just looked confused.

"Everything okay?" Cato asked.

"It'll be fine. Wedding details I'm sure. Everyone knows that it's the woman that makes all of the choices," I teased.

"That's probably for the best. I'll wait up for you," Cato said.

My knees shook weakly. "I'll be back as soon as I can," I said softly.

They led me into a black car with black windows and I sunk into the seat. My mind went into a haze and I watched as we drove back to the Tribute Remake Center. Seneca's apartment was in one of the sprouting towers off to the side of the main tower. We got out of the car and I was led up to the thirteenth floor. Through the glass windows I saw Cato and the rest of my team reach the twelfth floor. They didn't even see me. Sighing I leaned against the rail before I was sent into the living room. I walked in and heard the doors bolt closed behind me. They didn't trust me.

Slowly and with shaking legs I made my way over to the couch that was on the far side of the wall and took a seat. My heart was pounding out of my chest as thoughts raced through my mind. I had already been through this. There would be no pain and nothing to take. Other than my dignity. But that was enough to break my heart. And Cato... in my bed... waiting for me. Would Seneca be gentle or rough? Would he even take anything that I wanted into account? No. The one thing that I wanted was to not be here. The doors slid open and I jumped slightly.

Seneca Crane stumbled in. I could tell that he had been drinking since I had seen him last. His shirt wasn't on and his pants were rumpled. He walked over to the bar and I watched him pour himself another drink. He was drunk. Maybe he would fall asleep and I could get out. He seemed to notice that I was nervous and he walked over to me with a laugh. He spilled his drink onto the floor but his attention was no longer on his drink. It was on me. As he got closer I realized that he had dark circles under his eyes and he was sweating. What the hell had happened to him? It had only been about an hour since I had seen him last.

"Are you drunk?" I asked.

"That obvious?" Seneca asked humorlessly.

"Are - Are you okay?" I asked awkwardly.

I hated him but he looked horrible. "You can relax," he said. I nearly scoffed. I most certainly could not relax. "I want nothing from you tonight. Leave."

"What?"

"I'll see you when you get back here for the Quarter Quell. Have a safe journey home, Aspen."

My mouth was flapping open and I thought that he might laugh, but he just ignored me. He was walking back to the door but I caught his arm before he could disappear. He wasn't getting away with no answers. "Wait," I snapped.

"Goodbye, Aspen."

"What the hell? You've wanted this for months. You've looked forward to this. I know you have."

"Of course. Do you not remember last night?"

"Of course I do! It was one of my worst nightmares! Why say no now? What the hell happened to you?"

He scoffed, turning to walk away again. "More than you understand," Seneca answered.

"You know, this isn't fair to me. This has kept me up for months!" I screamed, when I saw that I wasn't getting through to him. That time he actually turned back to me. "I've been afraid of this happening so much that I stopped talking to everyone. I'm lying to everyone that I know. I deserve to know why you changed your mind. Just tell me!"

He smirked and laughed as he approached me. I should have kept quiet. I could have gotten out of this. I might have just shot myself in the foot. Damn my big mouth. "You never disappoint, Aspen. That much is so true," he said.

"Thanks."

"Would you rather I force you?" he asked.

"No," I said pathetically.

Seneca backed me into the corner of the room and I took a deep breath. He towered over me and I could smell the alcohol on him. It was on his clothes and on his breath. I was even in his hair that hung limply in his face and tickled the bottom of my nose. He stood there for a moment. His hands were on either side of my face and I thought that my heart might explode, it was racing so fast. He finally nodded and stepped back and I took a breath. Someone up there was looking out for me. Not wanting to say anything more to upset him, I started to walk past but he caught my arm.

"I hear that you hunt," he said.

He couldn't know that. He could get me and all of my friends killed. It was illegal. "No," I said weakly.

"Don't bother denying it. I know that it's true. I have sources that tell me that you used to do it every day. The hunting was what made you ready for the first Games."

"I suppose that you're right. No use denying it."

"And your fear from your parents."

"I suppose."

"Do yourself a favor. Keep hunting. Never stop. I promise you that you will regret it," Seneca said.

He wanted me to keep doing it? Why? "What?" I asked breathlessly.

"Be careful, Aspen. You have no idea what's coming," he said darkly.

My entire body feeling like it was on fire as I walked by him again. Careful not to touch Seneca, I walked past slowly. But before I made it all the way past he grabbed me by the arm and shoved me back against the wall. I screamed loudly but he covered my mouth with his own. I fought back against him when the alcoholic taste invaded my mouth. He merely pressed harder against me. He grabbed my arms and pushed me back against the couch. I fell and shrieked as he jumped on top of me. Thankfully in his drunken haze he missed by a little bit. _Fight him_ , Finnick had said.

Taking the opportunity that I had I brought my elbow up and hit him in the nose roughly. He jumped off of me and fell to the floor and I stood from the couch, rushing back to the door. I just had to get out of here. I couldn't be here today. Not right now. Not with his cryptic warning and strange reactions. Seneca wasn't far from me and I heard him sniff. He stood and had the decency to look guilty as he held his hands up to me. He advanced towards me slightly and I moved back against the door.

"I'm sorry. I shouldn't have done that. I just wanted you," he said.

"Get away from me," I stuttered.

"We could leave. This could be done with tonight," he said desperately.

Leave? Did he know about the plan that I had been working on? Did he know that I wanted to leave the second that I got back to District 12? I had to leave. But he couldn't know that. Even though I had been in scarier situations, many of which he had put me in, I was terrified right now. He was making no sense and I didn't have much experience with mean or grabby drunks. Haymitch only got tired and childish. Which was pretty much his normal personality. Without saying anything else to Seneca Crane, I turned back to the door and tried to rush out. I couldn't be here. Before I could, I felt his hand grab my ankle.

Unable to stop myself I screamed as I went toppling over myself. I hit the ground roughly and I cried out in pain as the carpet burned against my hands. His hands were grabbing up my body and I cried out when he grabbed the top of the dress. It tore slightly at his weight as did the slit. I was screaming and Seneca was muttering strange words. I thrashed out roughly and screamed when my heel dug into his leg. It was so sharp that it punctured the leg slightly. He grunted loudly and removed his hands from me. In the sudden panic I stood and scrambled out of the door.

He tried to follow me but I knew that the pain in the legs was too much for him to stand. I figured that Peacekeepers would be there soon so I knew that I would need to be out of here. I dashed into the elevator and once the doors were closed I cried out, slumping onto the floor. My reflection made me cry. My makeup was running down my face from the tears that had fallen during the struggle and my dress was torn, revealing my black underwear. There were scratches on my chest and the tops of my thighs. My hair was completely ruffled. The elevator dinged as it hit my floor and I dashed down the hallway for the bedrooms.

For a moment I stared at my own bedroom but I shook my head. Cato would see me and he would go kill Seneca himself if he knew what had just happened. We couldn't kill a Gamemaker. That was President Snow's job. Effie would be no help either. And I wasn't sure where Cinna lived. Haymitch was my last resort. I dashed into his room and was shocked to see that he was still awake. He was sitting on the edge of his bed, nursing a drink. When he saw me, his mouth dropped open and the glass fell from his hand. He stood and my tears began to flow even harder.

"Aspen... Come here," he said.

I rushed forward, falling into his arms. "Haymitch," I whispered pathetically.

He held me for a moment before placing me on the bed and leaning in front of me. "What happened to you? What the hell did he do to you?" he asked, clearly angry.

The tears had stopped but my voice was still shaky. _Get yourself together. In the morning you have to pretend like none of this ever happened. The next time you see him you can't be a bumbling mess_. "Nothing. I don't know what happened. He told me that he wanted nothing from me and then he was going to let me go. But at the last minute he kissed me and pushed me back. I elbowed him in the face and he apologized. He started to mumble and I went to run away but he caught me. I got away. It doesn't matter. I'm fine, just startled," I said weakly.

Haymitch shook his head and kissed the top of mine. "It always matters," he said. "I'm glad that nothing happened."

I nodded weakly. "He was telling me that we could leave. That things were bad," I said, horrified.

"Don't worry about him. He's drunk and overreacting. It's going to be fine."

"But he -"

"Can't handle his liquor. He's terrified, Aspen. He keeps getting threatened. Things are bad for him. Not for you. Don't let him get to you."

He turned away from me and I watched as he dug through his own drawers. He pulled out a black shirt that I knew would look like a dress on me. "Are you sure?" I asked.

"I'm positive. Here. Take this. Go in the bathroom and get yourself cleaned up. Just leave the dress. I doubt you want to let Cato see you like that," he said.

He motioned to me. I knew that I looked horrible. It was so bad that it was almost comical. But what had happened was not. I walked into the bathroom and sent my mind into autopilot. I let my hair down. Leaning over the sink I washed it out quickly to get the gel out. I ran my face under the water, getting the makeup and tears off. After a few minutes my face looked back to normal. I slipped the dress off of me and kicked it under the counter before slipping the shirt over my head. I looked somewhat better, but I could see the fear in the back of my eyes. I walked back out of the bathroom and gave Haymitch a grateful smile.

"Thank you, Haymitch," I said.

We walked over to the door. It slid open and Haymitch stood with me at the edge. "You're welcome, sweetheart," he said, with a sad smile. He had done well. He wasn't just the careless drunk that everyone thought that he was.

"For everything, Haymitch."

"I'm here whenever you need me, kid. Get out of here. Get to bed."

"Okay."

"You're on your way back home tomorrow. Five and a half months before you have to deal with any of this again," Haymitch said.

That was the positive side of this day. I got to go home to the people that I trusted. For the first time in a long time I would be back within the grasp of the people that trusted me and that I trusted. Although I would be leaving Cato. But maybe that was a good thing. While I was with him... I kept him in danger. I walked out of the door and heard it hiss closed behind me. I turned to my own room and slipped inside. Cato was inside and already asleep. The noise from the door had woken him up. He rolled over to me and I smiled weakly at him.

"Hey," Cato greeted.

"Sorry for waking you up," I said.

"That's okay." His eyes focused on me he tilted his head. "What was that all about? What did Seneca Crane want? And where did you get the shirt?" he asked, as he looked over my torso.

 _Right, that probably looks bad._ "Scoot," I said.

He rolled over at let me slide under the covers. He opened his arms to me and I put myself onto his chest. His heart was beating softly and it made me smile. "Gonna answer me?" he asked.

"One question at a time," I teased. He smiled. "Haymitch gave it to me when I came back. I tripped over the dress on my way back and tore it. He was giving me the shirt so I didn't have to risk tearing it even more."

He nodded with a little snort. "That's just like you," Cato said.

"Cinna loves his designs. He'll be angry enough that he has to fix this one."

"He's a genius. He'll manage without a problem."

"Seneca just wanted to tell me that Cinna might be a little too busy to do all of my future designs. He just was showing me other potential candidates," I lied.

It shocked me how easy that the lie was to tell. It used to be that I could only lie to a set amount of people. So many people had been able to see through them. Cato was always one of the people that could see through me. But now he couldn't. Now it seemed like everyone was easy to lie to. When I was really trying at least. Cato merely nodded and rolled his eyes. I had made it sound as mundane and boring as possible so he wouldn't ask me anything else. That was why I hadn't made up a lie about the Games. He would be asking me about that all night.

"Sounds fascinating," he said.

"Oh, it was."

"Glad that I wasn't there then. Come on you. It's time to go to bed."

"You actually want to go to bed?" I asked, waggling my eyebrows, trying to make myself feel a little better.

"Ah, you want to stay up for a while longer?"

Cato pushed me back into the bed and I laughed as he nuzzled against my throat. "It is late," I said slowly. "We'll be back on the train tomorrow night. We won't have stayed up half the night already."

"It's a date," Cato teased. He jumped off of me and laid on the bed, pulled me back onto his chest. "We should go to bed. It's been a long night and it will be an early morning tomorrow."

My head buried into his chest and I breathed in the scent of him. He had his own unique smell that I loved. He didn't smell like home. Not the pine trees or forest. He didn't smell like the Capitol. Clean and cleansed. He didn't smell like cinnamon or alcohol. He didn't smell like blood and roses. I appreciated it all. He smelled like lavender and chocolate. It smelled good. Somehow it still smelled a little bit like home. He was home to me. We laid there for a moment in the dark silence and I smiled at Cato when I saw that he was slowly dozing off.

"You know, I'll still miss you," I said quietly, hoping that he was asleep.

For a moment he was silent and I thought that he really hadn't heard me. But right as I closed my eyes I finally got my response. "You'll always have me," he said.

Despite everything that we had done, I still managed to blush. I was glad that it was dark and he couldn't see my face. I yawned deeply and laid my ear against Cato's chest so that I could fall asleep to his heartbeat. His breathing was even for a while and nearly twenty minutes after he had first spoken he fell asleep. But for hours I stayed awake. There was no way that I could sleep after everything that had happened. The world was collapsing around me and I had nearly been assaulted earlier this evening. Once I knew that I could no longer stand to be awake I closed my eyes and pushed my way through a fitful sleep.

 **A/N:** Here's another fully edited chapter. **Let me know what you think!** Until next time- A


	5. Chapter 5

The morning came faster than I would have wanted it to. As much as I wanted to go back home I was rather comfortable in the confines of the bed and Cato's arms. The sunlight was streaming through the window and I rolled my eyes. Too bright this early in the morning. I was definitely excited to get back home but that didn't mean that I wanted to get up. With every morning that passed I knew that I was getting closer and closer to the Quarter Quell. The first time that I would have to be okay with trying to save two kids' lives.

It didn't matter. It would be a nightmare for me. For Cato too. As hard as I would try, chances were that the two that I would Mentor would likely they would both be dead within the two weeks that the Games would take place during. I wasn't sure how Haymitch had done it. This would be his twenty-fifth year being a Mentor and he had always done it alone. At least in the Districts with more Victors they could take turn being Mentors. In District 2 there were Victors that hadn't Mentored in five or so years. The less popular ones that was. Enobaria and Brutus Mentored practically every year.

There were a number of Victors that I knew of. I knew Mags, the older woman from District 4. As far as I knew she had been Finnick's Mentor after she had won the Eleventh Hunger Games. I couldn't believe that she was from so early on in the Games. She was the oldest Victor that I knew of. There were also Woof and Cecelia. I didn't know much about them other than they were some of the older Victors from District 8. There were the Morphlings from District 6 and I had no idea what Games that they had won. There was Seeder from District 11. More than likely the Mentor of the boy that had won the Games the year before me.

Chaff was one of their Victors too. He was Haymitch's friend. There was Porter Tripp, the Victor of the 38th Games. She was one of the few Victors from District 5. She had received a spinal injury at the end of her Games making her all but useless. There were also Beetee and Wiress from District 3. Both intelligent beyond belief. There was Blight from District 7 along with Johanna Mason. From District 4 there was also Finnick and Annie Cresta. From District 1 there was Augustus Braun, Gloss, and Cashmere. From District 2 there was Lyme, Brutus, Enobaria, and Cato. And then from District 12 there was Haymitch and myself.

But those were only a fraction of the many Victors that were still alive. Including both Cato and me, I knew that there were fifty-nine living Victors from the seventy-four Hunger Games that had already passed. Even though there should only be fifty-eight. Most of us were still living but I had a good feeling that it wouldn't be for much longer. President Snow was sick of us just hanging around to constantly throw it into his face that there were people who knew how to beat the system.

Not people like Enobaria, Brutus, Gloss, Cashmere, or Johanna. The ones that had won from brutality. The ones who were supposed to win. Maybe not Johanna, but she had given a good show once people knew she was a fighter. No. It was the people like Cato and myself. Finnick, Annie, the Morphlings, Haymitch, Beetee, and Wiress. People like us. People that were all expected to die or act differently but we hadn't. We had prevailed and somehow we had survived. It wasn't like we even meant to survive the way that we had. We just wanted to live. The human will to live was a strong one.

All of my thinking was useless. I was just making myself even more upset. So I sighed and rolled over onto my side, facing where Cato was lying. He was stirring slightly and I knew that he would be awake soon. His lips were twitching slightly and I figured that he was talking to someone in his dream. The nosy part of me wondered what he was dreaming about. Most likely the Games but maybe not. Even I didn't dream about them every night. Most nights, but not all of them. The door to the room slid open and I shut my eyes quickly, hoping whoever was there might just give me five more minutes.

But since there was no clicking of heels I figured that it wasn't Effie. And that meant that it was Haymitch and I knew for a fact that he wasn't going to leave us here. Haymitch did not like when I was late for something. It especially drove him nuts when I stayed awake and ignored whatever it was that he wanted to do. There was a tapping coming from the other end of the room but I ignored it. Maybe he would go away...

"Come on, you two. Time to get up. We have to get going so I can have you back in District 12 by this afternoon," Haymitch called.

Since we were leaving so early we would manage to be back in District 12 by tonight. Cato would stay for the Harvest Festival and then he would head home. I had a feeling that President Snow didn't want him lingering around me for too long. I cracked an eye open and watched as Cato nodded and went to stand up. At least he was going to be waking up. I glanced over and saw that it was only four in the morning. Just three hours we'd been asleep... Cato was slightly wobbly on his feet but he steadied himself quickly. Haymitch waited for me to move but I simply laid there. I'd get up when I damn well felt like it.

"Aspen, get the hell up!" Haymitch yelled, before tossing a shoe at me and walking out of the room.

Apparently when I damn well feel like it was right now. I stood and stared at the shoe with a scoff. It was one of my heels from last night. I had completely forgotten about the prior night. I gulped deeply and kicked the shoe under the bed, wanting no reminders of everything that had happened that night. Not when Cato was right there. He didn't need to know. Cato was tugging on a dark blue shirt and I smiled at him. His hair was sticking up at all ends. Since it was so long it looked like he had been electrocuted.

"Is it too much just to ask for a nice wake-up call maybe one morning?" I muttered, standing from the bed.

Cato looked over to me and grinned. "That's the Capitol for you," he said.

"What do you mean?" I asked.

For a while he didn't answer me as he got changed. Cato shook his shoulders out and began to run his fingers through his hair. He was trying to make himself somewhat presentable before we had to get ready in District 12. Cato's arms flexed as he made the movement and the stupid teenager inside of me lit up. I laughed lightly at myself as I turned from him, hoping that he would stop soon. We didn't have time to do anything that I was thinking of.

"Even the best people get affected here. It makes everyone antsy and it puts everyone else on edge. Maybe it's something that they put in the air?" Cato joked.

"Maybe it would explain the way that people dress and look out here. District 2 has some weird-looking people but they're nothing compared to the Capitol," I said.

Cato laughed and nodded at me. "We do not have weird-looking people," Cato said.

"Yes, you do."

"They're not that bad."

"They certainly didn't look normal."

"What's normal?" Cato asked.

"The people back in District 12."

"And me?"

For a moment I smiled. Then I walked towards him. "You're the weirdest of them all," I teased.

Cato laughed and threw me back onto the bed. I chuckled under my breath as we exchanged a long kiss. Finally he pulled back and I looked at him. He looked nice. He was wearing dark jeans and the dark blue shirt that went slightly low on his chest, showing off some of the muscle, and a lot of the muscle in his arms. His hair was slicked back and he was wearing a pair of dark running shoes. He looked like a more normal version of one of the models that were plastered all over the Capitol.

"Honestly, Cato, how could they think that they look good like that? You probably didn't see her, or maybe it was him, but yesterday this person walked by me and they were dressed like a leopard or something," I said, remembering the person.

I'd seen some feminine features but I wasn't positive. After all, the first time that I had seen Flavius I wasn't positive whether or not he was a man or a woman. "Are you sure that you weren't dreaming?" Cato asked.

I laughed and shoved him gently. "It wouldn't have been a dream. It would have been a nightmare," I said.

This place was nothing more than a never-ending nightmare. "And me?" Cato asked.

"Oh... You're the biggest nightmare of them all," I teased.

Cato laughed again before pressing me down in the bed. We spent a long time just kissing and rolling around, but a smack on the door told me that it was time to get up. So we did. Turning away from Cato I leaned down to the dresser that was across the room. Before rifling through the drawer I motioned for Cato to throw me my brush and I began to rake it through my hair. Once it was straight, just the way that I liked it, I slipped my hair over my shoulders and went to digging through the drawers.

Leaning over to the dresser I pulled out a pair of black jeans and tugged them on. They hung low on my hips and had tears all over the legs but they fit well enough. It was definitely hard to wiggle into them though. I grabbed the first shirt that wasn't covered in sparkles or diamonds and pulled that on too. District 12 didn't care what I looked like. It was a yellow long-sleeved shirt that clung tightly to my stomach, had a floral see-through pattern in the back, and hung limply off of one shoulder. I grabbed my black boots as well and yanked them on over my jeans. Cato tossed me my Mockingjay pin and I smirked.

Making sure that it was almost out of sight, I pinned it to the bottom of my shirt before pulling a white leather jacket over myself. It was definitely still cold in District 12. It would probably still be snowing. It made me remind Cato to put on some extra clothing. He wouldn't be used to the cold back home. Once I was sure that Effie wouldn't yell at me for not dressing nicely enough I nodded at Cato and sighed as he handed me the ring that he had given me. I slipped it onto my finger and gave him a small smile. It really was a nice ring. It just felt strange to have it on my hand under the circumstances that we were in.

"It's nice that the damned Victory Tour is finally over. It was only like two weeks long but it was some of the longest two weeks of my life," Cato said.

But before I could agree with him I thought back to the sixteen days that had surrounded the Games. "Not quite the longest two weeks," I said.

Cato nodded, looking slightly bashful. I knew that he was trying to forget the Games. Something that I should probably be doing. "Some of it wasn't too bad," he said, pressing a kiss on my forehead.

"Yes. Some of it was kind of nice."

"That afternoon in the cave..." Cato teased.

"Shut up!"

We both laughed. "You know that you liked that afternoon," he said.

"Like you didn't."

"Oh, I loved it."

We both snorted again. "But I know what you mean. It felt like nothing was going right. I'm excited to go home too. I miss everyone. But I'll miss people here too. You, Finnick, and Cinna. Maybe even Effie," I said.

Cato laughed. I was pretty sure that that was exactly how he felt about his Escort and styling team. "Yeah. Trust me, I know how you feel about them," he said.

"For a while after I get home I'll just have to explain to everyone what happened while I was gone," I said, with an irritated sigh.

Cato laughed lightly. "That might be a long explanation. Not only did you start a few little uprisings on accident -"

"Me?" I interrupted.

"Come on, Aspen. You know that it's all because of you."

"Yeah. I know," I said bitterly.

"Hey. It's okay. The people, they think you're strong. And it's nice. They trust you. And the tour wasn't all bad. You got engaged," Cato teased, pressing a small kiss against my hair.

"Oh... Yeah. They'll love me for that. I don't even know how I'll explain that one."

"Me either. It's gonna be an interesting homecoming. Those weren't exactly small things that you did, might I add," he said. I rolled my eyes. He was right but I really didn't want to hear it right now. "I'm not sure exactly how thrilled your friends will be since you kept those things from them."

"Like I'm the only one with explaining to do when they get home," I snapped.

Cato sighed lightly and I felt a twinge of regret. It wasn't his fault that I was in such a sour mood. "No. I know that I have explaining to do too. I was the one that asked the question," Cato said.

"I'm sorry, Cato. I'm just stressed and annoyed."

"Me too, Aspen. I get it. Don't apologize."

"Honestly I'm not sure if I care anymore. I love them and they know that but I can't keep dealing with them being angry with me over every little thing. They get angry at me for the way that I acted in the Games, for not eating normally or sleeping, the fact that I don't hunt with them anymore. And you. I'm sick of it. I just want them to know that I have bigger problems to deal with than them being angry with me over little things," I said irritably, resisting throwing something.

Knowing that I was angry with the whole situation, Cato walked over to me and pressed my head against his chest. The breath went out of my lungs at my little rant. I was so irritated about everything. My friends, the Games, President Snow, and everything else. I just wanted to get home and sleep until the Quarter Quell. I leaned up to Cato and gave him a little kiss. He responded and I couldn't help but smile into the kiss slightly. He knew exactly what to do to get me to calm down or shut up. I would miss having him around.

"Just know that they love you, Aspen. They do and so do we. You aren't alone," he said.

"I know that."

It just felt like I was alone. He hadn't heard much of it but I was sick of being told that things were changing and it was my fault, but not knowing what the hell was going on. I could only take so much more of it. "Just let people be there for you," Cato prompted.

"I try. I really do."

"I know. Come on. Haymitch will be back in here to yell at us if we don't hurry."

"Finally. Time to leave this damn place," I cheered happily.

Cato snorted under his breath before grabbing my hand and dragging me out to the living room. As was expected, everyone was already there and looked ready to go. Haymitch and Effie were sitting at the table and both stood when we walked out of the room. Brutus and Enobaria were there too and they were standing over at the elevator doors. Brutus didn't look thrilled to see me. Not that he ever really looked thrilled to see me. They motioned the rest of us over and we followed them into the elevator. I watched as they pushed the button for the first floor and sighed. Finally we were leaving this place.

Thankfully everyone was silent as the elevator descended the floors. As we passed the fourth floor I glanced up and saw that Finnick was walking down the hall with a young woman. She looked about twenty and had long blue hair. She was wearing a short dress and seemed to be laughing at everything that he said to her. She had a tight grip on his arm and I felt bile rise into my throat. She was his client. That was the first one of his that I had seen. That was what I should have been doing. That was what I would have been doing had it not been for Seneca Crane.

Seneca Crane... What the hell had happened between the two of us? Things were strange enough but they had gotten even stranger after his warning last night. I didn't even want to think about anything having to do with the previous Head Gamemaker. He had let me off with nothing two nights ago, rather than a freaky warning about killing Cato's family. It had been bad enough but I hadn't thought that it would get any worse. But last night had been different. It had been worse. He was drunk. Mere hours after he had told me that he was looking forward to me that night he had pushed me out of the room.

But before I had left - the worst part of the entire night - he had given me a cryptic message telling me to continue hunting and then had apparently changed his mind about wanting me. Thankfully I had made it out of the room with nothing more than bad memories. But I couldn't help but think about him telling me to keep hunting. Should I? Probably. If nothing else I would be able to continue helping Gale's family. My knives were still where I had last left them. When I got back home I would have to go back out there by myself. I couldn't have anyone around me. It was something that I had to do alone.

The elevator doors dinged and we all walked out. There was no one lining the platform like there normally was. This time it was a silent walk out on the platform. Everything seemed wrong. It seemed like something was about to happen. Like something was about to pop out and kill us. My skin began to crawl and I shook off the feeling. As we walked up to the train I saw a few people waiting at the doors. Cato's team and stylist were all there and they all walked up to give him sweet goodbyes. My people were there too and I gave them all quick hugs as well as goodbyes and thank you's. Not that they had done much while I was here.

Like he had promised, Cinna was out on the platform too. He came up to me once I had said goodbye to Flavius and promised that I would miss him. He would be coming with us for the Harvest Festival but I wouldn't have time to say goodbye once it was over. He would have to get back to the Capitol to start designing my wedding dresses. President Snow wanted us to get married as fast as possible and he wanted us to move in together. It made me swallow the lump in my throat.

Cinna pulled me into a hug and I grinned slightly. Brutus, Enobaria, and Haymitch had already climbed onto the train and both my team and Cato's had left. Cato's Escort had left to go back to their home too, since there was no need for her to follow us. Effie was standing off to the side, waiting to say goodbye to me. I watched as Cato said goodbye to his stylist and climbed onto the train, leaving me to be the last one to get on. I let go of Cinna and smiled at him. The train whistle blew and I knew that I only had a minute left to say my goodbye.

"You're coming, right?" I asked.

"Yes. But I won't be around much," Cinna said.

"Too bad."

"Call me whenever you need, darling. I'll be in the back car if you need me."

"Thanks, Cinna."

"You did wonderfully while you were here. I'll miss you while you are gone. I won't get the chance to see them while I'm in District 12. Tell your family I said hello," Cinna said.

"Of course."

He let go of me and I gave him a quick kiss on the cheek before I walked over to Effie at the doors to the train. She lightly pressed on my back and when the train whistle blew again and she pushed me onto the train. Not a moment after the doors shut, the train began to move. At least I was getting out of here and heading back home. Finally. After such a miserable two weeks I needed to be home. And I had some explaining to do to some seriously pissed off District 12 residents. Of course that would be after the Harvest Festival.

Haymitch was almost immediately deposited in his room. He was still drunk and needed some time to sleep off his hangover. He likely wouldn't be awake until we were back in District 12 this evening. Cinna ordered tea for everyone and we all took seats around the table. He went to work drawing and no one dared interrupt him. Not while he was working. Cato and I drank our tea and ignored Effie while she rattled her schedule papers and reminded us that we were still on tour.

"There's the Harvest Festival in District 12 to think about. So I suggest we drink our tea and head straight to bed," Effie said.

"It's the morning, Effie," I said.

"We barely got any sleep last night! And I need my Victors awake and alert at the Harvest Festival tonight," Effie said. "Get some more rest."

No one argued that time. I checked the clock that was mounted on the wall and groaned. It wasn't even five in the morning yet and we wouldn't be back in District 12 until three in the afternoon. There was definitely a lot of time that we needed to kill. So Cato and I settled into the couch for a while. I flipped the television on to see what was happening in the world. It was a program that was going back to check on some of the most famous Victors. It seemed like they were ending the segment on Gloss and were moving onto Cashmere. It made sense, seeing as they'd won back-to-back Games.

But I rolled my eyes and let my head fall back onto the couch. Naturally it would be something about the Games. Brutus and Enobaria both scoffed and headed out of the room. Cato and I leaned back on each other and watched the television, making snide remarks to each other to keep the both of us laughing. Laughter was something that we all needed desperately. Every once in a while he would run his finger over the back of my hand and I felt goosebumps rise over my skin. I would miss his touch. Of course, I didn't make it long before falling asleep on his chest.

It wasn't that long that I dozed off for. Only about an hour later I was woken by a dream from back in the arena. A dream about the time when Clove attacked me. It didn't last long before she transformed into one of the mutts that had been given her likeness. I gasped and shot up from the couch, spotting that Cato was still asleep. I didn't want to wake him up - as he always looked so peaceful in his sleep - so I gently slipped off of the couch and started wandering the train.

Quietly I headed through the hallway to the back of the train. I didn't want to wake up Cato. He was dead asleep. I didn't really want to watch television up in the front car where Haymitch could tease me the whole time. If he was awake yet. Not Effie either, who would prattle on about the schedule. And Cinna was busy. I was just in the mood to be alone. Walking through the doorway to the back of the train, I realized that one of the doors with the restricted signs was cracked slightly open. As I walked past I couldn't help but to peek in. There were two Peacekeepers sitting in the room, both watching the screens in front of them.

When I glanced up at the screens my heart fell. It was District 8 and they looked like they were in a full-on rebellion. Peacekeepers with flamethrowers were advancing on the people but the people were fighting back. They weren't backing down. My heart began to pound in my chest as I realized that it wasn't just there. It was going on in District 11 and 5 too. I gasped lightly and the Peacekeepers turned back, slamming the door shut. I backed off slowly and nearly fell over myself as I headed back to the living room.

There was no way that uprisings were really happening. Were they? Of course not. President Snow had warned me about them but they weren't really happening. They couldn't be. What the hell was going on? The people were fighting back? Why? They had never fought back before. They were always too afraid to fight back. They knew what would happen. They knew that they would be beaten back down. Was I really the cause of all of this? Those two stupid knives at the end of the Games... Were these the changes that people were talking about?

Not wanting to face reality, I headed back to the couch and plopped myself back down in front of the television. It was playing highlights of our time in the Capitol and I rolled my eyes. They were taking images and video clips from when we were happy and I nearly laughed. It was so fake that it was painful. We had smiles on our faces but they didn't reach our eyes. We either looked angry, sad, or just had blank stares. There was a video of my dance with President Snow and I scowled. In the picture that they had captured I was looking at him like a doe looked at me before realizing that I was leading it to slaughter. How appropriate.

Under the photo the caption was describing it like a dance between a mentor and his student. The thought made me want to smash the television to bits. But instead of playing into my violent urges, I flipped the television off and sank back into the couch. It wasn't that long afterwards that Cato woke up and pulled me back to my room for the two of us to actually get some sleep. I was exhausted. I just hadn't realized it until now. The two of us flopped into the bed and I immediately fell asleep. When I opened my eyes again we were getting close to District 12. My head was resting on Cato's arm.

"No nightmares," he said, startling me.

I'd thought that he was asleep still. "What?" I asked.

"You didn't have any nightmares through the day."

He was right. For the first time in ages I had slept through the night. Or day. "I had a dream, though," I said, thinking back. "I was following a Mockingjay through the woods. For a long time. It was Rue, really. I mean, when it sang, it had her voice."

My entire body quivered. Cato grabbed me and pulled me into him. "Where did she take you?" he asked, brushing my hair off my forehead and planting a kiss there.

"I don't know. We never arrived. But I felt happy," I said.

"Well, you slept like you were happy."

"Cato, how come I never know when you're having a nightmare?"

"I don't know. I don't think I cry out or thrash around or anything. I just come to, paralyzed with terror."

"You should wake me," I said.

All I could think about was how I could interrupt his sleep two or three times on a bad night. And how long it could take to calm me down. "It's not necessary. My nightmares are usually about losing you," he admitted. I sighed and leaned back against him. "I'm okay once I realize you're here. Be worse when we're home and I'm sleeping alone again."

That's right. We were almost home. My home. And then Cato would have to go back to his home and I would be alone tomorrow. The agenda for District 12 included a dinner at Mayor Undersee's house tonight and a victory rally in the Town Square during the Harvest Festival tomorrow. We always celebrated the Harvest Festival on the final day of the Victory Tour, but usually it meant a meal at home or with a few friends if you could afford it. This year it would be a public affair, and since the Capitol would be throwing it, everyone in the whole District would have full bellies.

Most of our prepping would take place at the mayor's house, since we were back to being covered in furs for outdoor appearances. Cato definitely wouldn't appreciate the new weather. We were ushered off of the train quickly when we finally arrived in District 12. We were only at the train station briefly, to smile and wave as we piled into our car. I didn't even get to see my family until the dinner tonight. I was glad it would be at the mayor's house instead of at the Justice Building, where the memorial for Mr. Everdeen was held and where they took me after the Reaping for those wrenching goodbyes to my family and friends.

The Justice Building was too full of sadness. But I liked Mayor Undersee's house, especially now that his daughter, Madge, and I were officially friends. We always were, in a way. It became official when she came to say goodbye to me before I left for the Games. When she gave me the Mockingjay pin for luck. I wondered if she knew exactly what would come from me having that pin. I wondered if she had meant for something like this to happen. Had I been a pawn in her games? I couldn't believe it. I didn't want to believe it.

After I got home from the Games, we started spending time together. It turned out that Madge has plenty of empty hours to fill too. It was a little awkward at first because we didn't know what to do. Other girls our age, I'd heard them talking about boys, or other girls, or clothes. Madge and I weren't gossipy and clothes bored me to tears. But after a few false starts, I realized that she was dying to go into the woods. So Katniss and I took her a couple of times and showed her how to shoot. She was trying to teach me the piano but mostly I liked to listen to her play. Sometimes we ate at each other's houses with Katniss too.

She had become closer with Madge recently too. It was nice for the three of us to have some time together. Madge liked my house much better. Although I liked hers better. But we usually went to mine anyways. Her parents seemed nice but I didn't think that she saw a whole lot of them. Her father had District 12 to run - which was a surprisingly time-consuming job - and her mother got fierce headaches that forced her to stay in bed for days.

"Maybe you should take her to the Capitol," I suggested during one of them. We weren't playing the piano that day because even two floors away the sound caused her mother pain. "They can fix her up, I bet."

"Yes. But you don't go to the Capitol unless they invite you," Madge said unhappily. Even the mayor's privileges were limited.

The doors slid open and I stared blankly at the District. "Home sweet home," I joked.

The entire Square looked like no one had set foot in there for a few weeks. But I knew that that wasn't true. The markets for the people that could afford the normal goods were out here. "It's really quiet here," Cato said. "Does it always look like this?"

"No. Never," I said.

"What's going on?" Cato asked.

"The damn place looks like a ghost town with everyone gone. Why is no one here anymore? The Harvest Festival is going on," I said.

"They'll be out here soon enough. They have to be," Haymitch said.

"Usually there are at least a few people milling around. There's no one," I explained to Cato softly.

It was so quiet in District 12 that I was afraid to speak. I felt like I might shatter the tense silence. As I glanced around I realized that there were some people milling about but very few. There were less than ten people milling around and none of them looked like they wanted anything to do with me. I recognized some of them as merchants but they weren't their normal, chipper self. They always looked at least relatively happy. Not today. They were moving silently and keeping their heads to the ground.

"Thread," Haymitch growled.

Was he really doing this much damage already? "He's done all of this already?" I asked.

"He's an enforcer, Aspen. That's what he's here to do."

"Wonderful."

"Watch yourself around here. Thread's dangerous," Cato said.

"Come on. Let's get you on the move," Haymitch said.

Our journey was dead silent. As much as I wanted to chat with Cato about what was happening - since we would only be together for another day - I knew that it was far too dangerous to be speaking right now. Not where Thread or anyone else could hear me. So Cato and I walked hand-in-hand towards the car and then sat pressed up against each other. When we finally reached the mayor's house, I only had time to give Madge a quick hug before Effie hustled me off to the third floor to get ready. I had never actually been upstairs in her house before.

After I was fully prepped by Cinna and dressed in a full-length silver gown, I still had about an hour to kill before the dinner, so I slipped off to find her. Madge's bedroom was on the second floor along with several guest rooms and her father's study. Cato was still getting ready so he would be useless. I stuck my head in the study to say hello to the mayor but it was empty. The television was droning on and I stopped to watch shots of Cato and me at the Capitol party last night. Dancing, eating, and kissing. It would be playing in every household in Panem right now.

The audience must have been sick to death of the Star-Crossed Lovers from District 12 and District 2. I knew that I was. I was leaving the room when a beeping noise caught my attention. I turned back to see the screen of the television go black. That certainly wasn't something that was happening on every television set in Panem. It was something meant only for officials to be seeing. Then the words 'Update On District 8' started flashing.

Instinctively I knew that this was not for my eyes but something intended only for the mayor. I should have left. Quickly. Instead I found myself stepping closer to the television. An announcer that I'd never seen before appeared. It was a woman with graying hair and a hoarse but authoritative voice. She warned that conditions were worsening and a Level Three alert had been called. Additional forces were being sent into District 8 and all textile production had ceased.

They cut away from the woman to the main square in District 8. I recognized it because I was there only last week. There were still banners with my face waving from the rooftops. They were torn and hanging limply. Below them, there was a mob scene. The square was packed with screaming people, their faces hidden with rags and homemade masks, throwing bricks. Buildings were burning. Peacekeepers were shooting into the crowd, killing at random. I had never seen anything like it before the train. It wasn't a dream. It was real. I was only be witnessing one thing. This was what President Snow called an uprising.

There was a sickened feeling in my stomach throughout the Harvest Festival. It was very hard for me to sit and smile at everyone and chat like nothing was wrong. My stomach was about to empty itself all over the table. President Snow would be furious. He would be losing his mind over this. And all because of me. I had to leave. I had to go and take the people that I cared about with me. President Snow would kill them all. And Cato... No. Cato was safer here. He had done nothing. This was all me. When Cato finally got ready to say goodbye, I pulled him off to the side.

"Hey, I'll see you in a few months for the wedding photo shoots," Cato said.

I smiled awkwardly. "Yeah. Yeah, you will," I said.

"Are you okay?"

"What if I told you that people were fighting back? In the Districts?"

"What?" Cato asked, stunned.

"I think that people are fighting back in the Districts. Things are getting bad. People are getting bolder. They're trying to fight back against the Capitol," I whispered.

Cato looked extremely surprised. "That's a good thing, Aspen. You gave people hope. Hope that we could change things. Hope that the Capitol doesn't always have to rule," he said.

"I don't want to give them hope," I said desperately.

"Aspen... Don't overreact, okay? Things are bad right now but after the Quarter Quell things are going to go back to normal. Okay? And if not, it's a good thing."

He wouldn't leave. He couldn't leave. I didn't even know how he could leave and meet up with me. There had to be a way. I would figure it out. So I plastered a smile on my face. "Okay. You're right. I love you, Cato," I said softly.

"Hurry up! We're leaving," Brutus snarled in the distance.

"He's a charmer, isn't he?" Cato asked teasingly.

"Oh, yes. I love him very much."

"He loves you too," Cato teased. We both smiled. "I love you, Aspen. I'll see you soon."

"See you soon, Cato. Hey!" I called, stopping him from leaving. "Don't let your family kill you because of our engagement."

He walked back over to me. "Trust me. I have something to keep me alive," he said, pressing a soft kiss against my lips. We both laughed. "And you never lived up to your promise on the train."

We both snorted at his words. "Next time," I said, feeling very guilty.

"I'll be counting the days."

We laughed again as the teams came over to bring Cato back to the train to go home to District 2. "So I guess this is goodbye," I said sadly.

"Not forever. Just for a few months."

Another pang of guilt. "Just a few months," I whispered.

"Aspen?" Cato whispered.

"Hmm?"

"It's been a long and hard road since we first met each other. But we're still here right now. We're still going to be here years from now. You and me, we're a good team. And, no matter how it happened, I'm looking forward to spending the rest of my life with you," Cato said seriously.

Another very large pang of guilt. I would be gone. To save him though. "Yes. Here's to the rest of our lives," I said, clinking our glasses together. We downed two champagne flutes and exchanged a lingering kiss. Perhaps the last one.

One more kiss and he departed from me. We waved and smiled and kissed for the cameras. Then he departed from District 12 and I was left alone. But I knew what to do. I had to head to Gale. It was still early enough in the evening. I'd barely gotten a chance to speak to my family - as there had been so many other people that wanted to speak to me - but I could talk to them later. I had to find Gale. He would either be in the woods or at the Hob. I decided to try and head for to the woods first. I knew that it probably wasn't wise, considering the new tight security that seemed to be going on in District 12. But I had to try. He would likely be there.

Now I was getting more and more nervous. Things were getting bad here and I knew that Romulus Thread more than likely wasn't going to be fond of me. I was slowly becoming antsier as I walked through the District, barely stopping at my old house to change into my normal clothes. With every little step I felt like I was going to be shot. I knew that I should have gone home but I wasn't quite ready to do that yet. I had to keep my promise to myself. And I wasn't quite ready to get the lectures about my immaturity and stupid choices from Katniss. And I certainly wasn't ready to play Twenty Questions with Prim.

As I walked towards the woods I couldn't help but wonder where my friends all were. They had vanished not long after the party. I knew that they would have been ushered towards the back of the building - as their presence wasn't that fascinating - but they had left my sight not long after the actual dinner. I was pretty sure that Prim would be back home, probably training with Ms. Everdeen to become a nurse. She had gotten very good lately. Gale and Katniss were more than likely on a hunt right now, waiting for me to be dismissed from the Harvest Festival.

Maybe it was a bad idea to go out to the woods. Maybe I should have gone with Haymitch for a little while and tried to talk to him about this. If nothing else, just to give myself some time alone. It seemed like I was never alone anymore. Not the way that I had been when I lived in my little shack next to the Everdeen's. Sometimes I missed my little shack. Every once in a while, especially on bad days, I would go back to my old home and sit in silence for a while. It usually made me feel better. Just as I was walking forward I saw a man with dark brown hair heading right towards me. It was Gale. I smiled slightly and so did he.

I'd noticed that he hadn't been at the Harvest Festival. "Hey, Tiger," he called. I started to rush towards him. He had to know what was happening. "You look like you're in a rush. When did you -?"

He stumbled slightly as I yanked him past me but I didn't care. We had to talk but it couldn't be out here. He had to know what was going on out in the world and he had to know that I was finally ready. "Gale, we need to talk," I said.

"What's going on?" Gale asked.

I continued to drag him to the edge of the woods. We didn't need to go out into the woods, just close enough so that no one would be near us. "Don't talk, just listen. There's something that I need to tell you," I said.

"Okay."

"Where's Katniss?"

"She's out hunting right now. She went after the Harvest Festival. With this new Head Peacekeeper it's harder to get around him," he said. I couldn't believe that things were so hard to do with Romulus Thread. "We can't leave in groups or even pairs anymore. We have to sneak out one by one. She left about five minutes ago. I was going to go meet up with her."

"Okay," I said slowly.

"Come on, we'll go to the woods and go get her if you want to talk."

Katniss would need to know too, but not quite yet. Plus she needed to get food for at least Gale's family. "Not yet," I said, pulling my hand back. "I need to talk to you first. We'll talk to her soon. But if she's out hunting, let her hunt. I need to talk to you about something important. Go to our spot in the woods on Sunday. Okay?"

"Okay. Aspen -"

"We can't talk now. Just go there. Promise me, Gale."

"I promise."

That was the only thing that I let him say. He didn't need to hear anything else right now. The two of us hugged and walked back into town as normally as possible. We exchanged another hug, some sweet words with underlying worry, and promised to see each other soon, as I headed into my house. I said hello to Ms. Everdeen, who looked extremely happy to see me. I guessed that it was like having her whole family together again. I noticed that the table was already set and the kitchen was in full swing and I smiled. All of this just for me coming home. Even though we'd already had a large dinner.

Heading back upstairs I walked into my room and shut the door gently. I went to my drawers and pulled open the top one. Back in my room at the Capitol the wardrobe and dresser was full of bright colors and sparkly dresses. Here in District 12 my clothes were all black, gray, and brown. There were only a few other colors that I owned but I liked it that way. District 12 was simple and that was the way that I liked my clothes. I wanted to not have to play the part that I constantly played in the Capitol. I pulled out a white shirt that was a little loose on me and a pair of black pants that hit below my knee before walking back downstairs.

Everyone was already sitting down at the table but they were waiting for me to start eating. No one other than the District people actually ate anything at the Harvest Festival. I hugged both Katniss and Prim before taking a seat at the table. I had to act normal for now. Right after I sat down everyone dug into their meals with some small talk being thrown around. Katniss asked me how Cinna was, Ms. Everdeen asked if Haymitch was doing okay, and Prim asked me how the party was. I gave all of my answers while making sure not to give away any of the bad things that had happened while I was in the Capitol.

They didn't need to know anything about that. We fell silent for a while and I rejoiced, eating my dinner in the peaceful silence. "Aspen, can I ask you something?" Prim finally spoke up.

"Sure," I said.

"What's going on with you and Cato? When you left he was just some guy that you loved. You barely know him. Why are you getting married to him?"

Where the hell had that come from? I had thought that she was okay with Cato. "Prim!" Katniss snapped.

"That's rude," Ms. Everdeen said.

"No, it's okay," I said. After all, I hadn't even given the slightest hint that we were going to get married. It had been a shock to everyone. "She has every right to know why I'm getting married to him. I know it might sound a little weird, but I love Cato. And I know that when the day comes that you meet him you'll love him too. He isn't the guy that the cameras made him look like."

My defense of him getting a little strained. "But you barely know him," Prim said.

"I know. But I'm getting married to him because I love him a lot. I know that he's the guy that I want to spend the rest of my life with. It will probably be a little while before we get married though," I said, which was a total lie. "You'll still have me."

Prim smiled slightly at me and I hoped that I had answered her question. I couldn't really tell her the truth about everything that had happened with why I was getting married to Cato. I couldn't tell her that I had messed up on the Victory Tour so badly that I had suggested getting married to placate President Snow but that hadn't worked but I couldn't back out of the marriage now because the Capitol people love it so much. That wouldn't go over well.

"I'm not so sure about that. He's a little scary looking," she said.

"I know, sweetie. He scared me too when we first met. But he really is a good guy."

"That isn't really what I meant. I meant to ask you about Gale," Prim said.

My eyebrows shot to the top of my head. Was Prim on Gale's side? "What about Gale?" I asked, hoping that my assumptions about her question was wrong.

Prim seemed a little ashamed. "Well what are you going to do about Gale?" she asked.

"I'm not sure I know what you mean," I told Prim.

I would still be friends with Gale no matter what. I never wanted to lose him. He meant too much to me. Even if he didn't think so. "I mean, he really loves you. We all know that. And he hates Cato. He doesn't think that he really loves you," Prim said.

"I know, Prim."

"Are you still going to go through with the marriage with a guy that you really don't know whether or not he loves you?"

Well that was definitely bolder than I had ever thought that Prim would be able to say. Everyone gasped at her words. Even I did. My grip on my knife tightened for a moment before I dropped it in shock. Had I really been so angry with her question that I had debated throwing a knife at her? I pushed the knife back from me and took a deep breath. I had to calm down. Prim was just a kid. She didn't really know what she was saying.

"I know that Cato loves me," I said, more to myself than her. "It isn't something that you understand yet and that's okay. One day you'll know what it's like just to know that someone loves you. As for Gale, I love him too and he knows that. But I just don't know that I would ever be able to think about him in that way."

There was disappointment in her eyes. "Couldn't you find out?" she asked.

"No. It's too late. I really don't know. I have other things to think about," I said, hoping that she wouldn't push it.

The air was extremely tense around the table. "I think that you should think long and hard before you marry Cato," Prim said.

"What do you mean?" I asked.

"I don't think that he's a terrible person but I'm not sure if he's the hero that you make him out to be."

"He saved my life more than once, Prim."

"I know. Just... Please be careful, Aspen," she said.

There was a look on her face that said that she was genuinely concerned for me. I couldn't believe that no one was helping me defend Cato. I thought that they were at least okay with him. But, then again, I had told them to leave her alone and let her ask me the questions. I really shouldn't have done that. It didn't matter. That didn't mean that I was happy that they weren't even trying to get her to stop talking about Cato like that. I shook my head and pushed my plate back away from me.

"You know, I'm not hungry anymore. Ate a lot at the Harvest Festival. Bring this over to Gale and see if he wants any," I said.

"We will," Katniss whispered, grabbing the plate and bringing it closer to her.

"I'm just going to go to bed." I walked away before they could say anything to try and get me to stay. "Goodnight everyone. It's so nice to be back home," I snapped.

As I stomped up the stairs I heard Katniss and Ms. Everdeen for berating Prim about her short conversation with me. I appreciated it but I couldn't help but to wonder why they hadn't said anything before. Did they believe that too? I knew that Cato hadn't made himself look like a good person during the Games but that didn't matter. I wanted them to know that he was forced to act like that. I wanted them to know that he was a different man. I wanted them to know the Cato that I did. The one that I knew was a good man. The one that protected me. The one who really did love me.

The one that I was going to leave without a word to try and protect. I sighed and dropped down onto my bed, rolling over to stare out the window. My house faced Haymitch's and I stared at the one long window that had a light burning. For a moment I wondered if I should go see him but I doubted that he wanted me to bother him. Not so soon after being in the Capitol. So instead I rolled back over and closed my eyes, hoping that I would be able to fall asleep. Today hadn't gone the way that I had wanted it to, but I knew that it would. It had too. I had to save them. And I would, even if it killed me.

A number of days passed before it was finally Sunday again and I could put my plan into action. It was time to leave and Gale was the first person that I had to speak to. So I started my plan by making my way into the woods. A leather bag filled with food and a flask of hot tea. A pair of fur-lined gloves that Cinna left behind before departing for the Capitol again. Three twigs, broken from the naked trees, lying in the snow, pointing in the direction that I would travel. That was what I left for Gale at our usual meeting place on the first Sunday after the Harvest Festival, just as I'd said that I would.

There was no way that he could hang around in our normal meeting spot. It would easily get us both killed. I had continued on through the cold, misty woods, breaking a path that would be unfamiliar to Gale but was simple for my feet to find. It was a spot that I'd come to before. It led straight to the lake. I no longer trusted that our regular rendezvous spot offered privacy, and I would need that and more to spill my guts to Gale today. But would he even come? I'd told him to and he'd said that he would, but he was still angry with me for everything. But he needed to be here.

If he didn't come, I would have no choice but to risk going to his house in the dead of night. Someone could definitely see that. It didn't matter. There were things that he had to know... There were things that I needed him to help me figure out... And I really had to save his life. He couldn't die because of something that I had done. Once the implications of what I had seen on both the train and on Mayor Undersee's television hit me, I had made for the door and started down the hall. Just in time, too, because the mayor came up the steps a moment later. I gave him a wave and forced a smile.

"Looking for Madge?" he asked in a friendly tone.

"Yes. I want to show her my dress," I said.

Not that she would have cared about my dress. And I didn't either. "Well, you know where to find her." Just then, another round of beeping came from his study. His face turned grave. "Excuse me," he said.

He had already known. I should have known that he knew. Did he blame me too? He went into his study and closed the door tightly. It was the last time that I'd seen him that day. I had waited in the hall until I had managed to compose myself. Reminded myself I must act naturally. Which had been surprisingly difficult. Everything was hitting me all at once. Once I had managed to calm down I found Madge in her room, sitting at her dressing table, brushing out her wavy blond hair before a mirror. She was in the same pretty white dress she'd worn on Reaping day. She saw my reflection behind her and smiled.

"Look at you. Like you came right off the streets of the Capitol," she said.

"I'll be dirty and banged up in no time," I said.

"You look good both ways."

"Thanks."

"Although I must say that you get a number of eyes on you while you look like the Capitol," she teased.

I blushed madly, knowing what she meant. "They're starting to look like me now," I said.

"How's that?" she asked.

I stepped in closer. My fingers touched the Mockingjay. "Even my pin now. Mockingjay's are all the rage in the Capitol, thanks to you. Are you sure you don't want it back?" I asked.

"Don't be silly, it was a gift," Madge said.

She tied back her hair in a festive gold ribbon. "I appreciate it. It's really pretty, Madge," I said.

"I hoped that you would like it."

"Where did you get it, anyway?"

"It was my aunt's. But I think it's been in the family a long time."

"It's a funny choice, a Mockingjay," I said.

"How so?"

"I mean, because of what happened in the rebellion. With the Jabberjay's backfiring on the Capitol and all."

"But Mockingjay's were never a weapon. They're just songbirds. Right?" she asked.

"Yeah, I guess so," I said.

There was something twinkling in her eyes. Something that her eyes could say but her lips couldn't. Not that I was shocked. I knew that she couldn't say what she really meant. And what she said wasn't true. A Mockingbird was just a songbird. A Mockingjay was a creature the Capitol never intended to exist. It was something that became an issue of contentment since the rebellion. They hadn't counted on the highly controlled Jabberjay having the brains to adapt to the wild, to pass on its genetic code, and to thrive in a new form. They hadn't anticipated its will to live.

But it had a will to live. Perhaps even more than I did. Now, as I trudged through the snow, I saw the Mockingjay's hopping about on branches as they picked up on other birds' melodies, replicated them, and then transformed them into something new. As always, they reminded me of Rue. I thought of the dream I had the last night on the train, where I followed her in Mockingjay form. I wished that I could have stayed asleep just a bit longer and found out where she was trying to take me. As I walked I let out the low three-tuned whistle that she had shown me and smiled when they picked it up. _For you, Rue_.

It was definitely a hike to the lake, no question. It was longer than any other trip that we took. When Gale and I came out for days at a time we wouldn't even make it that far. If he decided to follow me at all, Gale was going to be put out by the excessive use of energy that could be better spent in hunting. My time in the arena made me used to all of the walking. Gale was conspicuously absent from the dinner at the mayor's house, although the rest of his family came. Hazelle said that he was home sick, which was an obvious lie. I couldn't find him at the Harvest Festival either. Vick told me he was out hunting. That was probably true.

The whole point of it was that Gale hadn't come because he didn't want to meet Cato. Even after he'd promised that he would. After a couple of hours, I finally reached an old house near the edge of the lake. Maybe house was too big of a word for it. It was only one room, about twelve feet square. That was why I liked it. I reminded me of my old home. Katniss's father thought that a long time ago there were a lot of buildings - you could still see some of the foundations - and people came to them to play and fish in the lake. He used to tell Katniss and me about it. We used to love his stories.

This house outlasted the others because it was made of concrete. Floor, roof, and ceiling. Only one of four glass windows remained, wavy and yellowed by time. There was no plumbing and no electricity, but the fireplace still worked and there was a woodpile in the corner that Katniss, her father, and I collected years ago. I started a small fire, counting on the mist to obscure any telltale smoke. While the fire caught, I swept out the snow that had accumulated under the empty windows, using a twig broom Katniss's father made when she was about eight and I was ten and we played house here.

Then I sat on the tiny concrete hearth, thawing out by the fire and waiting for Gale. I wasn't expecting him for a long time. But it was a surprisingly short time before he appeared. A bow slung over his shoulder and a dead wild turkey he must have encountered along the way hanging from his belt. He stood in the doorway as if considering whether or not to enter. He held the unopened leather bag of food, the flask, and Cinna's gloves in his hands. They were gifts that he would not accept because of his anger at me. I knew exactly how he felt. Didn't I do the same thing my family?

As much as I wanted to avoid it, I looked into his eyes. His temper couldn't quite mask the hurt and the sense of betrayal he felt at my engagement to Cato. Of course he couldn't. For a moment, just a moment, I tried to swap places. What if Gale had saved Vick and gone into the Games? What if he had come home after falling in love with some girl from District 2 and then gone off and gotten engaged to her? The thought made me bristle. For the first time, as selfish as it was, I realized how angry I would have been. And I understood exactly how angry he was. He thought that he deserved me, just as I would have thought that I deserved him.

It was the first time that I'd managed to change our positions with each other. I couldn't believe that I had thought that Gale should just get over it. No... I would have been just as angry. Maybe even angrier. This would be my last chance, this meeting today, to not lose Gale forever. Something that I couldn't stand. Something that I couldn't fathom. I could have taken hours trying to explain, and even then had him refuse me. Instead I went straight to the heart of my defense. But Gale spoke before I could.

"That song that the birds are carrying..." The Mockingjay's were still whistling her tune. They liked it as much as I did. "It's hers, isn't it?" Gale asked.

My heart fell slightly. "Rue. That was her name," I whispered softly.

"I know," Gale said softly.

The air was very tense. I knew that I just had to spit it out. "President Snow personally threatened to have you killed," I said.

Gale raised his eyebrows slightly, but there was no real show of fear or astonishment. "Anyone else?" he asked.

"Well, he didn't actually give me a copy of the list! But it's a good guess that it includes both our families. Cato's too. Everyone that I care about," I said.

Gale scoffed loudly and I glared at him. It was obvious that he didn't like Cato but he didn't have to be rude about it. "He actually has a family?" Gale asked.

"Yes, Gale, he does."

"Does he even care about them?" Gale asked with a little smile.

I shoved him roughly. He had no idea how not funny that was. He laughed and stumbled back before walking back up to me, standing almost chest to chest with me. "That's not funny," I snapped.

"Come on, Aspen. Lighten up."

"It's not a time to be joking around, Gale. This is serious," I said.

"You used to love when I made fun of District 2. Until you fell in love with one," he snarled.

I blew out a breath of irritation. "Knock it off. Be serious for a minute, Gale. This is serious. You don't understand what's about to happen. He threatened to have you killed. If that's not enough, he threatened to have you mother, Vick, Rory, and _Posy_ , killed," I sneered.

It was enough to bring him to the fire. He crouched before the hearth and warmed himself. "Unless what?" he finally asked.

"Unless nothing, now," I said. Obviously that required more of an explanation. "President Snow came to visit me himself. The day that the Victory Tour started. He warned me that the Districts... things were bad. He was saying that people didn't believe that Cato and I were in love. He didn't believe it."

"Shocking."

"Stop. He knows about that day... out in the woods. When you -" I cut myself off and let out a breath. Gale's eyes darkened. "There must be cameras out there. That's why I brought you out here. They know. They know about the kiss. Snow was furious about it. He demanded that we convince him that we were in love. That was what the engagement was for." I didn't bother adding that I really was in love with Cato. "It was too late. Snow doesn't believe us. He told me as much."

Gale said nothing. So for a while we just sat there staring gloomily into the fire. After about a minute of it, Gale broke the silence. "Well, thanks for the heads-up," he said.

I turned to him, ready to snap, but I caught the glint in his eye. I hated myself for smiling. This was not a funny moment, but I guessed that it was a lot to drop on someone. We were all going to be obliterated no matter what. "Gale... Snow told me that if it happened again he would whip you to death in front of me. I can't - I can't let that happen to you," I said, my voice breaking.

"It's not gonna happen," Gale said stubbornly.

"I do have a plan, you know," I said.

"Yeah, I bet it's a stunner." He tossed the gloves on my lap. "Here. I don't want your fiancé's old gloves."

"I told you what happened. We didn't mean to get engaged. I love him -"

"Thanks for adding that," Gale interrupted.

"- but I didn't want it to happen like this. And these aren't his gloves. They were Cinna's," I snapped.

"Give them back, then," he said.

"Just take them. Please. It's freezing."

For a moment we stared at each other irritably. Why wouldn't he just listen to me and not start a fight. He pulled on the gloves, flexed his fingers, and nodded in approval. "At least I'll die in comfort," he said.

"How could you be laughing?" I snapped.

"Come on, Aspen. Might I remind you that you used to have a sense of humor."

"That's optimistic. Of course, you don't know what's happened," I said irritably.

"Let's have it."

It really was time for me to tell him everything that had happened. Especially since he was the one that was a part of it now. So I decided to begin with the night that Cato and I were crowned as Victors of the Hunger Games, and how Haymitch warned me of the Capitol's fury in the Tribute Recovery Center. I told him about the uneasiness that dogged me even once I was back home, clarified my explanation of President Snow's visit to my house, the murders in District 11 and 9, the tension in the crowds, the last-ditch effort of the engagement, President Snow's indication that it hadn't been enough, my certainty that I would have to pay.

Gale never interrupted. While I talked, he tucked the gloves in his pocket and occupied himself with turning the food in the leather bag into a meal for us. Toasting bread and cheese, coring apples, and placing chestnuts in the fire to roast. I watched his hands as they moved. Hands that I was so familiar with. They were scarred, as mine were before the Capitol erased all the marks from my skin, but strong and deft. Hands that had the power to mine coal but the precision to set a delicate snare. Hands that I trusted. I paused to take a drink of tea from the flask before I told him about my homecoming.

"Well, you really made a mess of things," Gale finally said.

"Old habits die hard," I said.

It was enough to make us both smile for a moment, reminding me of our old friendship for just a second. "You always did have a knack for being a troublemaker," Gale said.

"I'm not even done."

That triggered something. The old remnants of friendship were gone and Gale looked irritable again. "I've heard enough for the moment. Let's skip ahead to this plan of yours," he said.

Here goes nothing. I took a deep breath. "We run away," I spit out.

"What?" he asked.

That actually caught him off guard. "We take to the woods and make a run for it," I explained. His face was impossible to read. Would he laugh at me and dismiss it as foolishness? I rose in agitation, preparing myself for an argument. "You said yourself you thought that we could do it! That morning of the Reaping. You said -"

He stepped in and I felt myself being lifted off the ground. The room spun, and I had to lock my arms around Gale's neck to brace myself. He's laughing happily. "You have no idea how long I've waited for you to say that," Gale said.

He was still spinning me and I was sure that I was about to be sick. "Hey!" I protested, but I was laughing too.

Gale set me down but didn't release his hold on me. "Okay, let's run away," he said.

"Really? You don't think I'm mad? You'll go with me?" I asked.

Some of the crushing weight began to lift as it transfered to Gale's shoulders. "I do think you're mad and I'll still go with you," he said.

He meant it. Not only meant it but welcomed it. "I'm not that crazy," I said.

"Yes, you are. And I love it. We can do it, Aspen. I know we can. Let's get out of here and never come back!" he cheered happily.

"You're sure?"

"Yes."

"Because it's going to be hard, with the kids and all. I don't want to get five miles into the woods and have you -"

"I'm sure. I'm completely, entirely, one hundred percent sure."

He tilted his forehead down to rest against mine and pulled me closer. There was a hint of shame seeping into me. Why did I still feel that tiny fluttering with Gale? Because I had always thought that we would be together forever... I loved Cato, but I couldn't just forget about Gale. His skin, his whole being, radiated heat from being so near the fire, and I closed my eyes, soaking in his warmth. I breathed in the smell of snow-dampened leather and smoke and apples, the smell of all those wintry days we shared before the Games. I didn't try to move away. Why should I, anyway? His voice dropped to a whisper.

"I love you."

That was why. My eyes sprang open and I stumbled backwards out of Gale's grasp. He seemed to see it coming because he didn't try to grab me back. I didn't know how I never saw those things coming. They happened too fast. With both Cato and Gale. They never gave me a chance to think before saying things like that. Why did he have to say that? One second I was proposing an escape plan and the next... the next I was expected to deal with something like that. I wished that everyone - just like I'd once thought that they did - hated me. I came up with what must have been the worst possible response.

"I know."

It sounds terrible. Like I assumed he couldn't help loving me but that I didn't feel anything in return. And, in some way, I did feel a little tiny something. Gale started to draw away, but I grabbed hold of him. "I know, Aspen. That's nice," he said.

"No, Gale. I know! And you... you know what you are to me." It wasn't enough. He broke my grip. "Gale, I can't think about anyone that way now. All I can think about, every day, every waking minute since they drew Prim's name at the Reaping, is how afraid I am. And there doesn't seem to be room for anything else. If we could get somewhere safe, maybe I could be different. I don't know."

But that's not the truth. I knew how I felt. But I had to get him to come with me. All I could think was what I'd heard a thousand times before. No one decent ever wins the Games. And I was proving that point. Gale would never mean to me what Cato did. But I had to get him to come with me. Maybe it was safer to leave Cato in District 2. Where he could fall in love with Skye or Julie and he could have a normal life. And I could get my life with Gale... I wouldn't be putting him in danger anymore. But the thought was like ripping my heart out of my chest. I could see Gale swallowing his disappointment.

"So, we'll go. We'll find out," Gale said. He turned back to the fire, where the chestnuts were beginning to burn. He flipped them out onto the hearth. "My mother's going to take some convincing"

I guessed that he was still going. But the happiness had fled, leaving an all-too-familiar strain in its place. "Mine, too. I'll just have to make her see reason. Take her for a long walk. Make sure she understands we won't survive the alternative," I explained.

"She'll understand. I watched a lot of the Games with her and Katniss and Prim. She won't say no to you," Gale said.

"I hope not." The temperature in the house seemed to have dropped twenty degrees in a matter of seconds. "Haymitch will be the real challenge," I said.

"Haymitch?"

Gale abandoned the chestnuts. "Yes, Haymitch," I said.

"You're not asking him to come with us?"

"I have to, Gale. I can't leave him and Cato because they'd -" His scowl cut me off. "What?"

"I'm sorry. I didn't realize how large our party was," he snapped at me.

I couldn't help but to say Cato's name. I didn't want to leave him in District 12. I wanted him with me. "They'd torture them to death, trying to find out where I was," I said.

"What about Cato's family? They would never come. They're from District 2. In fact, they probably couldn't wait to inform on us. Which I'm sure he's smart enough to realize. How would you even get the news to him? Have you told him this?"

"No. He doesn't know. I don't know, I'll find a way to tell him."

"What if he decides to stay?" Gale asked.

My voice cracked when I said, "Then he stays."

"You'd leave him behind?" Gale asked.

"To save Prim and Katniss and my mother, yes. I mean, no! I'll get him to come. I don't know how but I will. I'm going to get him to come," I said determinedly.

"And me, would you leave me?"

"I'm not leaving you."

Gale's expression was rock hard now. "Just if, for instance, I can't convince my mother to drag three young kids into the wilderness in winter," he snarled.

"Hazelle won't refuse. She'll see sense," I said.

"Suppose she doesn't, Aspen. What then?"

"Then you have to force her, Gale. Do you think I'm making this stuff up?"

My voice was rising in anger as well. "No. I don't know. Maybe President Snow's just manipulating you. I mean, he's throwing your wedding," Gale said.

"Because he's trying to make the people forget! He's not bluffing."

"Maybe he is."

"He's not!"

"You saw how the Capitol crowd reacted. I don't think he can afford to kill you. Or Cato."

"No, Gale. He won't. He'll kill my family, yours, and Cato's. Because people don't care about you. They care about Cato and I. I'm sorry, but that's how it is."

"He can't do that. The people love you and your families. How's he going to get out of that one?" Gale asked.

"Well, with an uprising in District 8, I doubt he's spending much time choosing my wedding cake!" I shouted.

The instant the words were out of my mouth I wanted to reclaim them. Their effect on Gale was immediate - the flush on his cheeks and the brightness of his gray eyes. "There's an uprising in Eight?" Gale asked in a hushed voice.

I tried to backpedal. To defuse him, as I tried to defuse the Districts. "I don't know if it's really an uprising. There's unrest. People in the streets -"

Gale grabbed my shoulders. "What did you see?" Gale asked.

"Nothing! In person. I just heard something." As usual, it was too little, too late. I gave up and told him. "I saw something on the mayor's television. I wasn't supposed to. There was a crowd, and fires, and the Peacekeepers were gunning people down but they were fighting back..." I bit my lip and struggled to continue describing the scene. Instead I said aloud the words that had been eating me up inside. "And it's my fault, Gale. Because of what I did in the arena. If I had just killed myself with that knife, none of this would've happened. Cato could have gone home and lived, and everyone else would have been safe, too."

"Safe to do what?" Gale asked in a gentler tone. "Starve? Work like slaves? Send their kids to the Reaping?"

"They wouldn't be getting gunned down in the streets."

"You haven't hurt people - you've given them an opportunity. They just have to be brave enough to take it. There's already been talk in the mines. People who want to fight. Don't you see? It's happening! It's finally happening!"

"It can't be happening!"

"If there's an uprising in District 8, why not here? Why not everywhere? This could be it, the thing we've been -"

"Stop it! You don't know what you're saying. The Peacekeepers outside of Twelve, they're not like Darius, or even Cray! The lives of District people - they mean less than nothing to them!" I said.

"That's why we have to join the fight!" Gale answered harshly.

"No! We have to leave here before they kill us and a lot of other people, too!" I was yelling again, but I couldn't understand why he was doing this. Why didn't he see what was so undeniable?

Gale pushed me roughly away from him. "You leave, then. I'd never go in a million years," he said.

"You were happy enough to go before. I don't see how an uprising in District 8 does anything but make it more important that we leave. You're just mad about -" No, I couldn't throw Cato in his face. "What about your family?"

"What about the other families, Aspen? The ones who can't run away? Don't you see? It can't be about just saving us anymore. Not if the rebellion's begun!"

"There can't be a rebellion, Gale! There can't be. They'll win."

He was silent for a moment. "Do you love me?" Gale asked suddenly.

That hadn't been the answer that I was expecting. Gale knew that I loved him and he knew that I always had. I would always love him. No matter what. Even with Cato in my life, that didn't mean that I wouldn't love Gale. I wanted to slap Gale for saying something like that but I knew that it would make things worse. Plus that hadn't been on topic at all. I was asking him if he would run off with me not if he would go out on a date with me. I crossed my arms over my chest and shook my head.

"Now that's a stupid question. Of course I love you, Gale," I said with a smile, grabbing his hand. "I will always love you. You know that. You are the best friend that I've ever had."

Gale snatched his hand back from me and it felt like a little part of me shattered. I couldn't love both of them. "That isn't what I mean, Aspen," Gale snapped. My heart began to sink into my stomach. "You know what I mean. You're just too afraid to say anything."

"Yes, Gale. You're right. But I can't -"

"I want to know if you love me. The way that you once told me that you did," he said.

I had told him once that I loved him and I had made it a little obvious that I had romantic feelings for him. Now it was coming back to bite me in the ass. Gale took a step towards me and I realized that we were pressed up against each other. "The way that you claim to love Cato. Do you love me?" Gale asked.

Part of me felt like I did still have romantic feelings for him but a bigger part of me knew that I had such strong feelings for Cato that I wasn't sure what they were. "I can't just tell you that I don't love Cato. That would be a lie," I said.

The pain shoot through Gale's eyes. It tore me apart having to tell him that I didn't really know if I loved him. "Thanks for that," Gale snarled.

"I do love him but I don't know what else to think. I know that I love you too. I always thought that I would marry you. But I can't think about anyone that way right now. I only can play my part in the game," I said. The truth was coming out. "The only thing that I can think about everyday every waking moment since the Reaping is how afraid I am. Gale, I'm terrified. Of everything. There's no room for anything else in my head. But maybe if we got away from here, somewhere safe, it could be different. I could know the way that I feel about both of you. I can be different."

Shocking me slightly, Gale put his hand on the bottom of my head and pushed it up so that I was looking at him. I knew that my cheeks were burning but I fought hard to keep my composure. He grabbed a strand of my hair and tugged at it lightly. It reminded me of the way that Cato had done it before our Games. It reminded me of the way that Gale had done it when we were kids. They were so similar, even more than they thought that they were. It was too hard to compare them, because they were so alike in so many ways. But they were also so different.

"One day you're going to have to figure out which one of us you're going to stand by. And trust me, that day is coming sooner than you think," he said.

"I know that, Gale." He let my hair fall from his fingers and he took a step back, finally allowing me to breathe. "It's what you always said would happen. It's happening. It's finally happening. We should've just fought each other in the arena and I should have died like I was supposed to and everything would be back to normal and everyone would be safe."

If Cato and I had really fought each other in the arena than one of us would have died and the Capitol would have had their one Victor. They wouldn't be going through a second rebellion and my friends wouldn't be in danger. Cato would be happy. So many people would still be alive. Things would be so much different. Some people might have been missing me but eventually they would get over it.

"Listen to yourself," Gale snapped.

"What are you talking about?"

"What would Katniss have done? Or Prim? Or me? What would any of us had done if you died?"

He was right, my death would have destroyed them. "Moved on. Eventually," I whispered.

"No. And what are these people safe from? Aspen, I just told you. They're starving. Working like slaves just to send their kids to the Reaping. You haven't heard people, Aspen. You've given them the opportunity. They just have to be brave enough to take it," he said. I started to shake my head. He had no idea what that fight would be like. "There's already talk in the mines, people wanna fight."

They all had no idea what they were asking for. The Capitol didn't fight fair. Gale could end up dead. I would never forgive myself if he died. Especially if it was my fault. "They can fight all they want but it won't work," I said.

"How do you know when you're not even willing to try?"

I wanted to believe that we could win this fight but I knew that we couldn't. "They haven't seen everything that the Capitol is capable of. I have. I've seen everything and I've been near their people. They think that the Games are the end of everything but it's really only the beginning," I gave him a small warning. It wasn't safe here. Not for him and not for me. "We have to go, Gale. Before they kill us. They will kill us."

Gale shook his head at me. He looked a little disgusted with me but I didn't care. As long as it meant that he was safe I didn't care if he thought that I was a coward. "What about the other families? The ones who stay? The ones that at one time, I remember you saying didn't deserve this. What happens to them? You're just going to leave them here to die," Gale said.

Tears were forming in my eyes. I knew that people were going to die no matter what happened. But I was trying to make sure that we weren't some of them. "I don't... Gale," I muttered.

"People are looking to you, Aspen," he said.

I threw my hands up and shoved Gale back. He wasn't understanding this. "That's just it, Gale!" I shouted. It was so silent in District 12 that I was afraid that someone had heard me scream. "I don't want anyone looking to me. I didn't want any of this. I just wanted to save Prim and Katniss and be done with it. Done with everything," I said pathetically. He knew that I didn't want this. I didn't know what to do with this. "I can't help them."

It looked like he was about to say something but he never got the chance. There was a soft rumbling of engines and Gale pulled me back further into the house before shoving me downwards. The two of us barely glanced up to see the caravan of trucks coming into the District. My stomach churned as I realized that armed Peacekeepers were leaning out of them. There had to be at least another twenty Peacekeepers moving in. Far more than we'd ever had before. As they drove past Gale looked over at me.

"You do what you want. I'm staying here," Gale said. But I couldn't... Gale shook his head, not hiding his disgust with me. "You could do so much." He threw Cinna's gloves at my feet. "I changed my mind. I don't want anything they made in the Capitol."

And with the trucks gone, so was he. I looked down at the gloves. Anything they made in the Capitol? Was that directed at me? Did he think I was now just another product of the Capitol and therefore something untouchable? The unfairness of it all filled me with rage. But it was mixed up with fear over what kind of crazy thing he might do next. I sank down next to the fire, desperate for comfort and to work out my next move. I calmed myself down by thinking that rebellions didn't happen in a day. Gale couldn't talk to the miners until tomorrow.

It gave me time to work something out. Not long but it was enough time to do something. If I could get to Hazelle before then, she might have been able to straighten him out. But I couldn't go now. If he was there, he would lock me out. Maybe tonight, after everyone else was asleep... Hazelle often worked late into the night finishing up laundry. I could go then, tap at the window, and tell her the situation so she would keep Gale from doing anything foolish.

And in the meantime there was something else that I needed to talk to. Just once I managed to calm myself down. As Gale walked away and back towards the fence I debated on calling out to him and asking him to come back. But I knew that it wasn't worth it. He was angry with me and I knew that he needed some time to cool down. So I headed back for my normal hunting spot. I passed the fence just to check that it wasn't alive. As usual, it was dead. I didn't want to get trapped out here. Then I turned and headed towards where my weapons would be.

With every little step I felt my body tense more and more. This place looked too much like the arena. The only thing was that there had been no snow in the arena. Part of me wondered if Snow had done it on purpose but that was a stupid thought. The arena had already been designed long before I had ever even been in the Capitol. It made sense that the arena had been a forest. That was the type of arena it normally was. Something woodsy. It was easy to put mutts in and easy to design. Plus it meant that it was harder to see hiding Tributes, meant for better surprise attacks. And it wasn't so cold that Tributes froze to death.

Passing by the small clearing that Katniss and I used to meet in I felt my skin crawl slightly. It had been some time since I had actually lingered in this area. I didn't really want to be here but I knew that I would have to keep up my aim if I wanted to go live in the woods to keep myself safe. It was better for me to be out here. Even though it looked like the area that the Cornucopia was in during the Games. I saw my own plate sitting in the grass and I heard the beating of the countdown with the near silent run to the Cornucopia. Then the screams began. I felt the cold flick of a knife across my face and I screamed.

My feet caved out from under me and I hit the grass. I waited for the kiss of a knife to come but nothing ever did. I scrambled back up to my feet and looked around but nothing was there. I was alone out here and there was no Cornucopia. I was just imagining things. Exactly the way that I knew was supposed to happen after you won the Games. Shaking my head, I continued to walk and tried to ignore the memories that were flooding back into my head. With every little step I took I heard the crack of branches and I panicked, looking for the hiding Tributes. But no Tributes were anywhere around me. I was along out here with the animals.

A small growl came from my right and I jumped, watching as a pair of eyes faded back into the bushes. My heart was pounding out of my chest and I cried out when the animal jumped from the bush. I had been expecting a big wolf, a demonic dog, or maybe a bear, or even a lion. Just with glowing green or pure white eyes. But it wasn't any of those. All it was, was a stupid fox. The thing growled at me again but I picked up a rock and chucked it at the animal. It cried out when I hit it and part of me felt bad. I shouldn't have done that. It didn't deserve me taking my anger out.

But it was too late and the fox was long gone by now. I was sure that it wouldn't be back here anytime soon. Not while it knew that I was out here. I turned to my side and saw that I was standing in front of the log where Katniss and I kept our weapons. I leaned down and pulled out my knife, feeling a strange buzz as I picked it up. I tucked it into my boot before digging in the back of the fallen log. Right where I had left it nearly a year ago. My bow. I didn't use it much but I knew that I should get better with it. It had been of much use to me in the Games. Maybe even more than the knives.

It wasn't like I was bad with the bow, I was just nowhere as good with it as I was with my knives. Shouldering the bow I grabbed the arrows and threw them over my back too. As I walked I thought about what Seneca Crane had told me. He had told me that I needed to keep up my fighting skills. That I shouldn't just forget about them. He told me that I should keep hunting. But why had he told me that? Was there something that he knew about the upcoming Games that I should know? Of course he did, but how much did he really know? Much more than he would ever tell me.

Standing in front of a tree I nocked my arrow and stood in front of the tree. The string on the bow was so much looser than the one in the Capitol that it felt strange to go back to this bow. I pulled back my arrow and let it loose. It hit the tree that I was standing in front of right in the middle of a small knot. I smiled lightly and took a few steps backwards. I pulled back another arrow and looked up in the tree. It was an apple tree and I smiled. I knew what to do here. And my stomach was rumbling by now.

So I watched the apple for a moment before letting go of my arrow and watching as it tore through the stem. The apple fell and I laughed. Maybe I hadn't really lost my touch at all. For nearly an hour I practiced with my bow and watched as apple after apple fell. I ended up nearly fifty feet back from the tree and I was still hitting all of my targets. As I picked up all of my spare arrows I placed them back in my sheath and picked up an apple. Smirking to myself, I grabbed a throwing knife and tossed my apple up in the air. As it came back down I threw the knife and watched as it hit the apple, forcing it back to lodge into the tree trunk.

With a small smile I grabbed the apple and knife and headed back to the fence. My little practice session had been nice and it shocked me that things were so nice out here. It was like nothing could get to me out here. The air was definitely colder than I was expecting but I was happy to see that my aim was as good as it used to be. I headed back to the fallen log and tossed my knife and bow and arrows back inside before heading back for the fence.

It was thankfully still off and I ducked underneath, eating my apple as I walked. Part of me hoped that I would run into Gale somewhere so that I could try talking to him one more time but I knew that he wasn't in the mood for me. He would be far away from me. Plus he was working in the mines right now, probably trying to get overtime. He worked almost all the time and it hurt. Now that I was finally back and getting better he was almost never around me. But I knew that it would be the case if he hadn't been Reaped - which, thankfully, he wasn't. He would work in the mines almost all of the time.

As I walked through the Square I noticed that a few more people were out but they weren't laughing and talking like they normally were. The martial law was definitely getting nasty. People were terrified of being out. They were exchanging soft words with the people that they walked with. Most people walked by themselves. I sighed and headed back to Victor's Village. Before I could make it far, I saw a figure step out from behind the fountain. I grinned when I saw that it was Katniss and she smiled too. We were no longer arguing after last week. It had just been a little disagreement. The two of us embracing each other in a tight hug.

It was the first time that we'd been together in a long time. She had no idea how much I had missed her. "Aspen, I didn't know that you were back home. You've kinda been out a lot the past week," she said.

"I know. I've just been busy."

"Did you talk to anyone else?"

My smile turned to a scowl. Now Katniss was going to be the reasonable one. "Yeah, I ran into Gale a little while ago," I said.

"Where is he?" she asked.

I grabbed her hand and pulled her to the side of our house, slightly back in the alley. "We need to talk, Katniss," I said.

"What's going on? Are you okay?"

"I already tried talking to Gale but he wouldn't listen to me. I know that you will. You're smarter than him and not so brash."

She looked totally lost. "What the hell are you talking about, Aspen? Are you all right?"

"I'm fine," I said.

She leaned down to get snow before trying to push it against my forehead. "You're as white as a sheet. You look like you just saw a ghost," she said.

I pushed her hand back. "Stop, Cat, I'm not sick," I said.

She had to know. Now. "Tell me what's going on," Katniss said.

"Cat, you have to listen to me. Things are getting bad. The Districts are rebelling," I told her.

"What?" Katniss asked, horrified.

She had to know everything. "District 8 is in a full on rebellion and the others aren't far behind. It's my fault. I've tried placating the Districts like Snow told me to do but it isn't working. Nothing that I do is working. This isn't just Cato and I being threatened anymore. Both you and Gale, your family and Cato's too, they are all being threatened," I said.

Her face went white. I knew that she was thinking about Prim and I felt terrible. I should have told everyone sooner. "What's happening with our families?" she asked.

"Snow thinks that Cato and I aren't really in love. He threatened me to make him believe in our love story. He doesn't. There's nothing that I can do anymore. We have to get out of here. He's threatened to kill all of your families."

"Is he being serious?"

"Yes. He's done it to the other Victors and he'll do it to yours too. I can't let that happen."

"When will he do it?"

"I'm not sure but it won't be long. Not if the Districts won't settle down and it doesn't look like they will. I tried to tell Gale but he wants to stay," I said.

"Aspen, calm down," she said, grabbing my hand. I knew that she wanted me to talk to her like a rational adult but I was panicking. She had no idea how bad that things were throughout Panem. "You saw a rebellion in District 8?"

"Yes. It's bad."

"Maybe Snow just wants to get you riled up. Maybe he's just trying to scare you. It's something that he would do," she said quietly.

There was no way out of this. I had learned that the hard way. "This is not a game!" I yelled. She jumped back. I felt bad for startling her but I had to get her to see the gravity of the situation. "Not anymore. This isn't just something that President Snow is doing to bother me or try and get me to do what he wants. I saw the damn rebellion. I've seen it in every District that I've visited."

"What are you talking about?"

"How much of the Victory Tour did you see?"

"It seemed like everything."

"Nothing, I suppose. People were murdered in Nine and Eleven for rebelling. Katniss, people are getting ready to fight. A real rebellion. People are sick of bowing down to the Capitol. Things are changing. I know that you can see it," I said softly.

Katniss stood in silence for a moment and I began to wonder if maybe I had made a mistake telling either her or Gale. Maybe I should have continued to let them live in their ignorant bliss. But they had to know that things were getting worse. They had to know that the longer that we stayed here, the more danger that we were in. And not only us. Everyone in District 12. They would all be safer with me gone. Maybe I should just go alone. But I couldn't. They would torture them to find out where I had gone.

"Alright. Fine, you're right. I can see it. The Capitol are putting their own people everywhere and curfews are being enforced. It's getting harder to get out and hunt," she said.

Gale had told me the same thing. "I know. They just sent in a shipment for more Peacekeepers," I said.

She looked shocked. "So tell me, what do we do? Is this something that you even bothered to discuss with Cato?" she asked.

For a moment I froze. I wanted him to know and be safe but I didn't know how. I couldn't call him. They tapped phone lines. I couldn't write him a normal letter. They would intercept it. "He knows that things are getting bad too. But he hasn't been face to face with some of the things that I have. He isn't as close to the center of this as I am," I said.

The knives had been my idea so I was the one that got the blame for everything. "So what are you going to do about him?" she asked.

"I send him letters back and forth. We can all get into the woods. Gale and his family. You and your family and me too. I'll send Cato a coded letter telling him to get out of his house and to bring his family," I said, the gears in my head turning.

"Will that work?"

"It has to. We can all be long gone by the time that anyone knows that we're gone. We'll head out to where District 13 once was," I said, looking out into the woods.

It was our one shot. We could do it. We had to do this. There was no way that we could get trapped here. They would kill us all. Katniss nodded for a while but stayed silent. I could tell that she was processing everything that I had just told her. It was a lot to take in and it wasn't the safest of plans that I had ever come up with. Then again, I almost never did anything safe. It was just part of my personality. And I knew that it was part of her personality too.

"You really think that we could do something like this?" she asked.

"I know we can," I said.

We just had to act fast once we started. "Aspen, you know that I'm always with you but we could end up getting a lot of innocent people killed. People that you fought so hard to save," she said softly.

"I know. But we have to do this. Our lives are at stake," I said.

If we weren't careful we could end up getting more people killed than we would save. But if we did this fast enough we would be out of here and the Capitol would have no one to get information from. Maybe they would hurt them but it wouldn't take them long to realize that there was nothing that they knew. It would not be easy to start a new life in the woods in the dead of winter but I knew that we could do it. Maybe we could even sail somewhere. Get the hell out of Panem and see what else the world had to offer. There had to be other places.

"We can do this, Katniss. You know that we can do this," I said.

"You're right. We can."

"It will take you to help me convince Gale to go too. If we go without him they'll torture him to get information. He has to come with us or this won't work."

"We'll get him out there."

"You're with me?" I asked.

Just as she was about to open her mouth and talk I heard a sharp shout from the back of the alley. "Aspen!"

I turned back to see Prim running after me. We hadn't seen each other much since our little argument at the dinner table. I felt terribly about the whole thing since I hadn't spoken to her much. We had been very awkward but now it had been a few days since I had actually seen her. I caught her around the waist and lifted her up. I placed a small kiss on her forehead. I always missed her. She was one of the few people on this planet that I would do anything for. That was why I was doing all of this. I set her down gently and realized that she was almost as tall as me now. When had that happened?

"Where have you been?" she asked.

"Out and about," I said.

"I just passed Gale and he said that you two were together for a while," she said.

I would have thought that he would be at home. What was he doing walking around? I should have gone to see Hazelle. "Yeah. We hung out for a little while," I said.

"Katniss, you knew that she was around? I guess everyone knew but me," Prim said, with a hint of betrayal in her voice.

"I'm sorry, sweetie. I was just busy," I said.

Katniss and I grabbed her around the shoulder and brought her between us. "Come on, ladies. I think it's time that we both get home," Katniss said.

She started to lead Prim and myself back into the house. "Perfect. I could use some time to myself," I said, giving Katniss a pointed look.

"I'm sure that Mom will make your favorite," Katniss said.

That was very like Ms. Everdeen. "Perfect," I said excitably.

As we walked Katniss leaned in over Prim and put her mouth next to my ear. "Hey, I'm with you," she said, before pulling away. I nodded at her. One down, one to go. "Let's go hunting," Katniss said out loud.

It was her way of saying that there was more that she wanted to say. "Okay. Let me get ready," I said.

We ended up feigning wanting to go out hunting for fresh meat for the dinner that Mom would be putting on. Which was going to be the perfect time for Katniss and I to get out into the woods so we could figure out how to get Gale out in the woods with our plan. I went upstairs and changed quickly before sitting at the desk and writing out a coded letter to Cato about the plan and what I needed him to do. He would get it soon enough and we would be able to get out in the woods. We would be free. Before heading out to the woods I planned to bring it to the post office and send it off.

In the meantime I knew that I needed to hurry. As always, I was late. Katniss was already ready downstairs and I was taking forever to get myself together. I knew that she would come banging on my door again if I didn't hurry up. But I needed to get that letter written and make sure that Cato understood what it meant and how desperate the entire situation was. I rushed over to my cabinet and pulled out some of my hunting clothes. I grabbed a pair of tight dark blue jeans and a black shirt that clung tightly to me before grabbing my brown leather jacket and throwing it onto my bed.

Once I had everything I made sure to grab a wool scarf since it was still cold. The snow hadn't melted quite yet but I knew that it was close. As I pulled my clothes on and jumped down the stairs I shouted a quick goodbye to Ms. Everdeen and patted Prim on the head before dashing out the door to go find Katniss. We could only leave during the day as of now. With Romulus Thread around. The nights were silent. No one wanted to get caught by the new Head Peacekeeper. As I was heading to the Town Square Katniss caught up with me and the two of us began our walk to the woods.

"So what do you think is going to happen now?" she asked.

While I'd been writing my letter to Cato, Katniss had gone to talk to Gale. Apparently it hadn't gone well. "I'm not sure. But we're going to figure it out," I told Katniss.

"Gale refuses to do anything other than fight and that would mean that he could die. We can't just let him die. We could talk him out of it. He isn't going to budge in the slightest."

"He has to budge. I'm not leaving him here."

"There has to be another way to push him into leaving," she said desperately.

"There is. We just have to think. We have time. Not a ton, but we have some time."

As we crossed through the Town Square I noticed that there were almost twice as many people as there had been before Thread had come here. The only time that I had seen it that busy was during the Games, whenever they broadcasted them. What was going on right now? I tilted my head to the side and looked at Katniss as we headed over into the thick of the people. It seemed like it was Reaping Day, but there weren't quite enough people.

"I'm gonna get you out of here. In the Square. Yeah, hold that up there. Right where everyone can see you and see what happens if they try to follow in your footsteps," Romulus Thread was saying from behind the crowd.

There was a loud grunting and the unmistakable crack of a whip. I knew exactly what was going on out in the crowd. And judging by the look that Katniss was giving me, she knew too. So the two of us picked up speed and sprinted through the crowd. The two of us were storming up the stairs and into the middle of the Square. We nudged our way through the crowd and my heart dropped when I saw what was going on. This couldn't be happening. This had to be a nightmare. This was a nightmare. It was one of my worst nightmares.

"No. No. No," I muttered as I rushed forward to the post.

It couldn't be what I thought that it was. No... I was overreacting. But that didn't stop me from continuing to push through the crowd. I had to help whoever that was up there. Because it couldn't be him. There was no way that it was him. Whatever was happening up there, it was terrible. I yanked away from a hand that reached out to stop me and began to push my way through the crowd with Katniss on my heels. People saw me, recognized my face, and then looked panicked. Hands started to shove Katniss and me back. Voices hissed.

"Get out of here, girls."

"Only make it worse."

"What do you want to do? Get him killed?"

But at this point my heart was beating so fast and fierce that I could hardly hear them. I only knew that whatever waited in the middle of the Square was meant for me. When I finally broke through to the cleared space, I saw that I was right. And Katniss was right to try and take me away. And those voices were right too. Gale's wrists were bound to a wooden post. The wild turkey he shot earlier hung above him, the nail driven through its neck. His jacket had been cast aside on the ground and his shirt was torn away. He slumped unconscious on his knees, held up only by the ropes at his wrists.

What used to be his back was a raw, bloody slab of meat. His hair was hanging limply in front of his face. Gale wasn't moving and for a minute I was afraid that he was dead. But he wasn't. He just barely looked up at me. Katniss was whimpering. Standing behind him was a man that I had never seen before, but I recognized his uniform. It was the one designated for our Head Peacekeeper. That wasn't old Cray, though. No. This was a tall, muscular man with sharp creases in his pants. This was Romulus Thread. The pieces of the picture didn't quite come together until I saw his arm raise the whip.

"No!" I cried out.

I sprang forward to try and stop the lash from hitting Gale. But it was too late to stop the arm from descending, and I instinctively knew that I wouldn't have the power to block it. Instead I threw myself directly between the whip and Gale. I had flung out my arms to protect as much of his broken body as possible, so there was nothing to deflect the lash. I took the full force of it across the left side of my face with nothing to help or dull the pain.

The pain was blinding and instantaneous. It seared through my face and my entire body. It had been a long time since I had been hit with a whip. It hurt no less this time than it had the first time. Even after I had been torn apart over and over again, this was still a horrible pain. Jagged flashes of light crossed my vision and I fell weakly to my knees. One hand cupped my cheek while the other kept me from tipping over. I could already feel the welt rising up and the swelling closing my eye. The stones beneath me were wet with Gale's blood and the air was heavy with its scent.

"Stop it! You'll kill him!" I shrieked.

But it didn't work much to my advantage. I got a quick glimpse of my assailant's face. Of Romulus Thread's face. It was hard, with deep lines, and a cruel mouth. He had gray hair that was shaved almost to nonexistence and eyes so black that they seemed all pupils. Not to mention a long, straight nose that was reddened by the freezing air. His powerful arm lifted again, this time with his sights set on me. My hand flew to my shoulder, desperate for an arrow, but, of course, my weapons are stashed in the woods. So I grit my teeth in anticipation of the next lash.

Gale's voice broke me out of my trance. "Aspen. Katniss," he said weakly to the both of us. My heart broke. He looked so weak there. "It's okay. Just go."

His eyes were praying with the two of us. Thread's attention was now back on Gale and I knew that he was about to hit him again. But I couldn't let it happen. Katniss looked torn about who to help. She was leaning down next to Gale but I came to a stand in front of the two of them. He wouldn't get one more hit in with Gale. And he wouldn't dare hurt Katniss. Not with me around. Thread stared at me like he was debating on what to do with us. I tried to pull Thread's hand back but he responded to it by punching me straight in the eye that he had already whipped.

"Aspen!" Katniss yelled.

Once more I hit the ground but I weakly stumbled back to my feet. As I laid on the ground, Thread whipped me straight across the back of my thigh and I cried out in pain. "Aspen," Gale cried from the post. "It's okay. Please, leave. It's okay."

"No!" Katniss shrieked.

But I couldn't. So I forced myself back to my feet and stood in front of Gale. Thread almost smirked. "Move," Thread ordered. I merely stood there. "You want another?"

He raised the whip to me. "Go ahead," I said.

He merely put the whip away and pulled out a gun, holding it straight up to my face so I stared down the barrel. "Hold it!" a voice barked.

Haymitch appeared from the far end of the Square and tripped over a Peacekeeper who was lying on the ground. It was Darius. A huge purple lump pushed through the red hair on his forehead. He was knocked out but still breathing. What happened? Did he try to come to Gale's aid before I got there? Haymitch ignored him and looked over at me. Katniss was shouting in the background for me to stop and to let us go but I knew that Gale was holding onto her. He wouldn't dare let her go where she might be able to escape and get to me.

Thread hadn't lowered the barrel of the gun. I didn't care anymore. Maybe if Thread killed me it would put an end to all of this. People wouldn't be rebelling anymore. My friend's lives wouldn't be in danger anymore. Cato could live peacefully as the only Victor from the Seventy-Fourth Hunger Games. We stared at each other for a moment and when I heard the gun click I saw Haymitch come to run in front of me. My mouth dropped as Haymitch held his hands up to Thread and shook his head.

"Whoa, whoa," Haymitch pushed.

"Get out of my way," Thread growled.

If Thread fired the bullet would hit Haymitch instead of me. Was he willing to die for me? It seemed so. "You don't want to shoot her. I promise that you do not want to shoot her," Haymitch strained to Romulus Thread.

"How about I shoot both of you instead?" Thread hissed. My heart jumped into my throat. I couldn't let him shoot Haymitch. He was one of the few people that meant the world to me. "And your two little gang members after that?"

That time he was trying to train the gun on Katniss. On weak legs from being whipped in them, I stepped out to the side to protect her. It didn't work for very long. Haymitch pulled me back behind him to keep me out of any line of fire. Haymitch moved to take a few steps toward Thread and I sucked a breath in. I didn't want Thread to get startled and pull the trigger. He held his hands out and motioned to himself. He was going to try and play the good guy here. I just hoped that it would work.

"Look, Commander, you're new here. Trust me I'm trying to help you. I'm Haymitch Abernathy," he introduced himself. "You recognize her? Aspen Antaeus?" I saw the recognition rise in Thread's eyes. He hadn't known who I was. He had no idea he was threatening a Victor. "The Girl on Fire? Darling of the Capitol?"

Romulus stared at me for a moment and I wondered if he would let this go. He wasn't a Victor and he wasn't well loved but that didn't mean that I didn't love him. He meant the world to me. "She interfered with a Peacekeeper," Romulus Thread hissed.

Haymitch laughed with a falsely. "Now I never said she was smart," Haymitch said.

"Thanks," I muttered, upset that he was still insulting me even though I knew that he was trying to help.

"The girl just has guts. Look you already got a couple of lashes in, right?" Haymitch asked, motioning back to Gale. He was trying to get Gale out of this. _Thank you_. "We can just leave it at that and no one else gets hurt."

For a moment I thought that Thread would let us go and we would be able to go back to my home to get Gale treated. "That's not good enough," Thread snarled. I took a step back. "She's an agitator."

This whole thing would not have happened if he wasn't such an asshole. Haymitch put his hands up again. He was trying to keep Thread happy but that didn't look like an easy thing to do. He seemed to be an extremely rough person to get along with. "Easy. Easy," Haymitch said softly. "You sure Snow wants two dead Victors and two other innocent civilians here?" To kill two Victors and two civilians would look bad on the Capitol. "'Cause at the moment that's what we're looking at. It's bad enough that you marked up her face on the eve of the big wedding."

Haymitch turned over and looked at me. That was when he saw the damage that had been done. "Thank you," I whispered.

"Quiet. Oh, excellent." Haymitch's hand locked under my chin, lifting it. "She's got a photo shoot next week modeling wedding dresses. What am I supposed to tell her stylist?"

Thread was still looking at me carefully. I could see a flicker of recognition in his eyes as he gave me a closer look. Bundled against the cold, my face free of makeup, with my braid tucked carelessly under my coat, it wouldn't be easy to identify me as the Victor of the last Hunger Games. Especially with half of my face swelling up. But Haymitch had been showing up on television for years, and he'd be difficult to forget. Thread still wasn't happy.

"She interrupted the punishment of a confessed criminal," Thread growled.

"I don't care if she blew up the blasted Justice Building! Look at her cheek! Think that will be camera ready in a week?" Haymitch snarled.

Thread's voice was still cold, but I could detect a slight edge of doubt. "That's not my problem," Thread said.

But he knew how angry President Snow would be if it looked like a Peacekeeper would attack his newest Victor. "No? Well, it's about to be, my friend. The first call I make when I get home is to the Capitol," Haymitch said loudly. A lot more people were gathered around now. "Find out who authorized you to mess up my Victor's pretty little face!"

 _Pretty_. Haymitch would sooner call me ugly and stupid on a normal day. "He was poaching. What business is it of hers, anyway?" Thread asked sharply.

There was a definite flicker of doubt in Thread's eyes now. "He's her cousin." Katniss had a hold of my other arm now, but gently. "And her fiancé is one of the favored Victors in District 2. And she's my sister. So if you want to get to him, expect to go through both of us."

Maybe we were it. Maybe we were the only three people in the District who could make a stand like this. Although Katniss was only up here because we had already diffused some of the tension. And this whole thing was sure to be temporary. There would be repercussions for this. But at the moment, all I cared about was keeping Gale alive. The new Head Peacekeeper glanced over at his backup squad. With relief, I saw that they were familiar faces. Old friends from the Hob. I could tell by their expressions that they were not enjoying the show. A woman named Purnia who ate regularly at Greasy Sae's, stepped forward stiffly.

"I believe, for a first offense, the required number of lashes has been dispensed, sir. Unless your sentence is death, which we would carry out by firing squad," Purnia said.

Thread glanced over at her. "Is that the standard protocol here?" he asked.

"Yes, sir," Purnia said.

Thread glanced around and I was thrilled to see that several other of the guards nodded in agreement. They would going to get Gale out of it. Suddenly Snow's words came back to me. _I'll whip him to death in front of you_. Was this his warning? Was this something that he'd wanted me to see? Had I done this to Gale? I wanted to sob but instead I just turned back to see Katniss whispering soft words to Gale. I was sure that none of them actually knew what the protocol was because, in the Hob, the standard protocol for someone showing up with a wild turkey was for everybody to bid on the drumsticks.

"Very well. Get your cousin out of here, then, girl. And if he comes to, remind him that the next time he poaches off the Capitol's land, I'll assemble that firing squad personally." Then he brought his voice to a yell. "Alright. Okay. Next time. It's the firing squad."

"Excellent idea," Haymitch said, almost teasingly.

"I don't care who she is," Thread snapped, looking straight at me. "Clear the Square!" His loud yell startled everyone. "You are all under curfew! Anyone out after dark... Will be shot on sight! Get them out of here."

The goosebumps that rose on my arms were enough to make me feel like I was about to be sick. I would have to be extremely careful when it came to hunting. The Head Peacekeeper wiped his hand along the length of the whip, splattering us with blood. Then he coiled it into quick, neat loops and walked off. Most of the other Peacekeepers fell into line in an awkward formation behind him. A small group stayed behind and hoisted Darius's body up by the arms and legs. I caught Purnia's eye and mouthed the word 'thanks' before she went. She didn't respond, but I was sure that she understood.

"Gale."

That was when I remembered that someone else was here. The very person that I had taken two lashings and a rather hard punch to the face for. I wished that Cato was here. He would have killed Thread before he would have gotten the chance to hit me. My eye and leg were throbbing but I needed to get to Gale. He was the priority. I turned, my hands fumbling at the knots that were binding his wrists. Someone passed forward a knife and I cut the ropes as Katniss tried to hold him up. It wasn't enough. Gale collapsed to the ground.

"Gale," I cried pathetically.

"It's okay, Gale," Katniss whispered.

"Better get him to your mother," Haymitch said.

There was no stretcher for us to move Gale, but I knew that we had to get him out of here. Obviously, with me being the person that I was, no one wanted to help me. No one wanted to do anything that might jeopardize their already precarious positions of safety in District 12. No one would want to associate themselves with me. We couldn't just pick up Gale. We would seriously hurt him. Thankfully we managed to figure something out once the crowd had dispersed. The old woman at the clothing stall sold us the board that served as her counter top. It would be something for us to move him, at least.

"Just don't tell where you got it," she said.

Of course. She didn't want us to get her into trouble. She went about packing up the rest of her goods quickly. So was everyone else. Most of the Town Square had emptied by now, fear getting the better of compassion. But after what just happened, I couldn't blame anyone. I really couldn't. So we rolled Gale onto the board - with me feeling guilty the entire time as he cried out in pain - with great difficulty and got ready to set out to my house all the way in Victor's Village.

By the time we had finally managed to lay Gale face-down on the board, there was only a handful of people left to carry him. I would have tried, but my eye was swollen shut, making it almost impossible to see. Plus my leg was still throbbing from where it had been whipped. It was almost nice to have a whip mark back on me after the Capitol took it away. Haymitch, Katniss (who was uninjured), and a couple of miners who worked on the same crew as Gale lifted him up. Leevy, a girl who lived a few houses down from mine in the Seam, took my arm. Ms. Everdeen kept her little brother alive last year when he caught the measles.

"Need help getting back?" Leevy asked.

Her gray eyes were scared but determined. I patted her on the arm to relax her. "No, but can you get Hazelle? Send her over?" I asked.

"Yeah," Leevy said, turning on her heel.

That was when I remembered that little kids couldn't see what I was about to show Hazelle. "Leevy! Don't let her bring the kids," I said, not wanting to see Rory, Vick, and Posy's faces if they saw Gale in the state that he was.

"No. I'll stay with them myself," Leevy said.

"Thanks," I said.

I grabbed Gale's jacket and hurried after the others. I was limping slightly and Katniss released Gale to loop an arm around my waist and help me walk. "Get some snow on that," Haymitch ordered over his shoulder.

Katniss helped me lean down. We both knew that the boys could help out Gale. She would have to help me out until I could get some help for my leg and eye, both of which were in searing pain now. As Katniss helped me lean down I scooped up a handful of snow and pressed it against my cheek, numbing a bit of the pain. Katniss took her scarf, wrapped some snow in it, and tied it around my leg. My left eye was tearing heavily now and in the dimming light Katniss had to drag me with her. As we walked I heard Bristel and Thorn, Gale's crew-mates, piece together the story of what happened.

Gale had gone to Cray's house, as he had done a hundred times before, knowing that Cray always paid well for a wild turkey. Instead he had found the new Head Peacekeeper, Romulus Thread, a man I hadn't even thought to warn him about when we had spoken. I hated myself for it. No one knew what happened to Cray. He was buying white liquor in the Hob just this morning, apparently still in command of the District, but now he was nowhere to be found. Thread put Gale under immediate arrest and, of course, since he was standing there holding a dead turkey, there was little Gale could say in his own defense.

Seneca Crane had known that this was coming. Had he been trying to warn me about Thread? Maybe it was time for me to try and trust Seneca. In all honesty, he did try to help me from time to time. Apparently word of Gale's predicament had spread quickly. He was brought to the Town Square, forced to plead guilty to his crime, and sentenced to a whipping to be carried out immediately. By the time I showed up, he had been lashed at least forty times. Just like I once had been. I knew how painful it was. He passed out around thirty and had only woken up to briefly speak to Katniss and me.

"Lucky he only had the turkey on him. If he'd had his usual haul, would've been much worse," Bristel said.

They were right. He could have been shot for having a normal haul. "He told Thread he found it wandering around the Seam. Said it got over the fence and he'd stabbed it with a stick. Still a crime. But if they'd known he'd been in the woods with weapons, they'd have killed him for sure," Thom said.

"What about Darius?" I managed to ask.

"After about twenty lashes, he stepped in, saying that was enough." No one had offered to help me during my own whipping. "Only he didn't do it smart and official, like Purnia did. He grabbed Thread's arm and Thread hit him in the head with the butt of the whip. Nothing good waiting for him," Bristel said.

"Will be alright?" I asked.

For a Peacekeeper, I really did like Darius. Actually, to be honest, I liked Darius as a person. "We'll find out," Haymitch said.

"Can we help him?" I asked.

"Things are bad enough. We don't do anything more," Katniss said.

"Doesn't sound like much good for any of us," Haymitch said.

My heart was pounding in my chest as we walked up towards Victor's Village. Katniss started having to half-drag me. At least she was strong enough to do it, since we were both small. The pain in my legs was starting to become even worse. Snow began, thick and wet, making visibility even more difficult. Which was saying something, because I could barely see already. I stumbled up the walk to my house behind the others, using Katniss and my ears more than my eyes to guide me. A golden light colored the snow as the door opened. Ms. Everdeen, who was no doubt waiting for me after a long day of unexplained absence, took in the scene.

"New Head," Haymitch explained.

She gave him a curt nod as if no other explanation was needed. Of course, it wasn't. She knew from the time that I had been whipped. She knew exactly what to do. But I hadn't been hit nearly as hard and I couldn't even remember my recovery from the whipping. I had been passed out for most of it. As we walked into the house I was filled with awe, as I always was, as I watched her transform from a woman who called me in to kill a spider to a woman immune to fear. Katniss and I watched from a distance. Neither one of us liked watching healing.

When a sick or dying person was brought to her... this was the only time I thought that Ms. Everdeen knew who she was. In moments, the long kitchen table had been cleared, a sterile white cloth spread across it, and Gale hoisted onto it. Ms. Everdeen poured water from a kettle into a basin while ordering Prim to pull a series of her remedies from the medicine cabinet. Dried herbs and tinctures and store-bought bottles. I watched her hands, the long, tapered fingers crumbling this, adding drops of that, into the basin. Soaking a cloth in the hot liquid as she gave Prim instructions to prepare a second brew.

Ms. Everdeen glanced my way. "Did it cut your eye?" she asked.

I'd been lucky with the hit. "No, it's just swelled shut," I said.

"Get more snow on it," she instructed. I was clearly not a priority. "Anything else?"

"She got whipped pretty hard on the back of the thighs," Katniss explained.

"Snow. Snow for both of them," Ms. Everdeen said. "What exactly happened?"

"A Peacekeeper. Not entirely peaceful," Haymitch told Ms. Everdeen. She nodded. I looked back down to Gale and passed my hand over his eye, not actually touching him.

Prim grabbed my head and looked at me. "Missed your eye. Doesn't need stitches," she told me.

Gale's eyes fluttered shut and I panicked for a moment. This was bad. I could tell by the look that it was really bad. He looked half-dead. But I saw that he was breathing still and I took a breath. He wasn't dead. He was just passed out. I wasn't sure whether it was from exhaustion or just pain or maybe even blood loss but I was glad that he could be away from it for a little while. Prim walked around Gale to where I was standing and I took a step back so that she could get through. I didn't know what to do. Gale did. Prim stepped up to Katniss and handed her the coat that had been on the floor.

"Haymitch, Katniss, get the snow. I'll grind the herbs," Prim instructed.

I'd never seen her working like this before. I slipped backwards and leaned up against the table. My leg was throbbing but I refused to leave Gale's side. They both bolted out the door to do as she instructed. Everyone went to doing what they had been told to do as I was left, useless. I watched as Ms. Everdeen took a bottle of clear liquid and tilted it over Gale's back. I grimaced as he began to twist on the kitchen counter and crying out in pain. He was nearly rolling himself off. I wasn't sure if he was really awake or not. He looked bad and I knew the kind of pain that he was going through. I knew pain.

"What is that? It's hurting him," I said desperately, tears brimming my eyes.

"He needs Morphling," Ms. Everdeen said.

She placed the bottle down and I watched as Haymitch picked it up. Ms. Everdeen turned away to grab something else - the medicine that she was talking about maybe - while Haymitch picked up the bottle. He sniffed the liquid before pouring it into a tea cup. I rolled my eyes and grabbed it away from him as he spun backwards out of the way. I slammed it back down onto the counter and looked at Ms. Everdeen.

"Can you save him?" I asked Ms. Everdeen.

She said nothing as she wrung out the cloth and held it in the air to cool somewhat. "Don't worry. Used to be a lot of whipping before Cray. She's the one we took them to," Haymitch said.

I couldn't remember a time before Cray, a time when there was a Head Peacekeeper who used the whip freely. But Ms. Everdeen must have been around my age and still working at the apothecary shop with her parents. Even back then, she must have had healer's hands. Ever so gently, she began to clean the mutilated flesh on Gale's back. I felt sick to my stomach, useless, with the remaining snow dripping from my glove into a puddle on the floor. Katniss put me in a chair and held a cloth filled with fresh snow to my cheek as she refilled the one on my thigh.

Haymitch told Bristel and Thorn to go home, and I saw him press coins into their hands before they left. "Don't know what will happen with your crew," Haymitch said.

They nodded and accepted the money. Of course they wouldn't have dared turn it down. From the last I heard, the Hob had been sacked. It wouldn't be long before they burned it to the ground. It was illegal and Thread was holding an iron fist over District 12 already. Hazelle finally arrived, breathless and flushed, with fresh snow in her hair. Wordlessly, she sat on a stool next to the table, took Gale's hand, and held it against her lips. Ms. Everdeen didn't acknowledge even her. She had gone into that special zone that included only herself and the patient and occasionally Prim. The rest of us could wait.

Even in her expert hands, it took a long time to clean the wounds, arrange what shredded skin could be saved, and apply a salve and a light bandage. His skin would look horrible for the rest of his life. It wouldn't be healed, like mine had been, by the Capitol. As the blood cleared, I could see where every stroke of the lash landed and I felt it resonate in the single cut on my face and those that had once been on my back. I multiplied my own pain once, twice, forty times and could only hope that Gale remained unconscious. Of course, that was too much to ask for. As the final bandages were being placed, a moan escaped his lips.

Hazelle stroked his hair and whispered something while Ms. Everdeen and Prim went through their meager store of painkillers, the kind usually accessible only to doctors. They were hard to come by, expensive, and always in demand. Ms. Everdeen had to save the strongest for the worst pain, but what is the worst pain? To me, it was always the pain that was present. Like my pain in the arena. I knew how horrible that was. If I were in charge, those painkillers would be gone in a day because I had so little ability to watch suffering. Ms. Everdeen tried to save them for those who were actually in the process of dying, to ease them out of the world.

Since Gale was regaining consciousness, they decided on an herbal concoction he could take by mouth. "That won't be enough," I said. They stared at me. "That won't be enough, I know how it feels. I've been whipped before, in case you've all forgotten. That will barely knock out a headache."

"We'll combine it with sleep syrup, Aspen, and he'll manage it. The herbs are more for the inflammation -" Ms. Everdeen began calmly.

"Just give him the medicine! Give it to him! Who are you, anyway, to decide how much pain he can stand!" I screamed.

Katniss grabbed onto me tighter to keep me in place. I was furious. They had to do something to help him. He was going to die. Or at least he was going to be in excruciating pain for the next few hours. I couldn't let that happen to him. I had been though enough pain for all of us. I didn't want him to be in even more pain. Gale began to stir at my voice and I saw that he was trying to reach out to me. The movement caused fresh blood to stain his bandages and an agonized sound to come from his mouth.

"Take her out," Ms. Everdeen said.

All I could think was how much I wanted to be here. I couldn't be away from Gale. Not while he was the way that he was. Katniss didn't seem happy either but she was a little less strained than I was. Maybe because she didn't know how badly it really hurt to be whipped. Haymitch and Katniss literally carried me from the room while I shouted obscenities at her. None of which I really meant. They pinned me down on a bed in one of the extra bedrooms until I stopped fighting. While I lay there, sobbing, tears trying to squeeze out of the slit of my eye, they started talking.

"So it's starting again? Like before?" Ms. Everdeen asked.

"By the looks of it. Who'd have thought we'd ever be sorry to see old Cray go?" Haymitch said.

Cray would have been disliked, anyway, because of the uniform he wore, but it was his habit of luring starving young women into his bed for money that made him an object of loathing in the District. That was why everyone hated him. That was why I'd really hated him and desperately tried to avoid him. In really bad times, the hungriest would gather at his door at nightfall, vying for the chance to earn a few coins to feed their families by selling their bodies. They were all some of the prettiest and skinniest girls in the District. Sometimes I feigned dropping coins from my pocket to keep them from going to him.

Had I been older when Mr. Everdeen had died, I might have been among them. Instead I learned to hunt. One day I had actually tried to go to him. Just before Katniss and I had nearly starved to death. Greasy Sae had torn me away from Cray's door and tearfully threatened to beat me within an inch of my life if I ever tried to go to him. I hadn't dared speak to Cray for months afterwards. Greasy Sae had forced me to stay away from Cray and my fear of her wrath - and Ms. Everdeen, whom she'd threatened to tell - had kept me from ever trying to visit him again.

For a while I just laid there. I didn't know exactly what Ms. Everdeen meant by things starting again, but I was too angry and hurting to ask. Eventually they let me up and I headed back downstairs. I was exhausted from my earlier episode as we walked back towards where Gale was laid up. I laid down in the chair at the foot of the table. Her words registered, though, the idea of worse times returning, because when the doorbell rang, I shot straight out of the chair. Who could it be at this hour of the night? There was only one answer. Peacekeepers.

"They can't have him," I said, looking at Gale.

"Might be you they're after," Haymitch reminded me.

"Or you," I said.

"Not my house. But I'll get the door," Haymitch said.

"No, I'll get it," Ms. Everdeen said quietly, pushing past Haymitch.

Even though she was the one that was going to answer the door, everyone moved to follow her. Haymitch, Katniss, even Hazelle, and I followed her. We all went to follow her down the hallway to the insistent ring of the bell. My stomach sank when I thought about what the Peacekeepers could possibly want right now. Not to take Gale. Over my dead body. When Ms. Everdeen opened it, there wasn't a squad of Peacekeepers but a single, snow-caked figure. Madge. She held out a small, damp cardboard box to me.

"Madge," I said weakly.

"Use these for your friend," she said. I took off the lid of the box, revealing half a dozen vials of clear liquid. "They're my mother's. She said I could take them. Use them, please."

"Thank you, Madge," I said.

She ran back into the storm before we could stop her. "Crazy girl," Haymitch muttered as we followed Ms. Everdeen back into the kitchen.

Whatever Ms. Everdeen had given Gale, I was right, it wasn't enough. I had known that it wouldn't be enough the second that I had seen it. Because I had been in pain with open wounds like that a number of times. I had known that he would need something from the Capitol, as much as he would have hated it. His teeth were gritted together and his flesh was shining with sweat. I knew well enough that it was an infection setting in. Ms. Everdeen filled a syringe with the clear liquid from one of the vials and shot it into his arm. Almost immediately, his face began to relax.

"What is that stuff?" Katniss asked.

"It's from the Capitol. It's called Morphling," Ms. Everdeen answered.

It was the same thing that two of the Victors from District 6 - coined the Morphlings - used to numb their pain. "I didn't even know Madge knew Gale," Haymitch said.

"We used to sell her strawberries," I said almost angrily.

What was I angry about, though? Not that she had brought the medicine, surely. "She must have quite a taste for them," Haymitch said.

And that was it. That was what nettled me. It was the implication that there was something going on between Gale and Madge. And I didn't like it. Again I thought about what it had been like for Gale to come back with some girl that he fell in love with if he had taken Vick's place in the Hunger Games. I thought about how angry and jealous I would have been. As much as I wanted to move on with Cato, I didn't want Gale to move on. That wasn't fair to him. But I didn't want to see him with someone else. Particularly not someone like Marge. Katniss was the only person that I could stand to see him with.

Gale obviously felt the same about me. But he wished that no one was with me other than himself. "She's my friend," was all I said.

For a while I stood in the corner and watched Prim, Katniss, and Ms. Everdeen fawn over Gale. He was feeling much better with the Morphling in his system. I stood back though, not really knowing what I could do to help. So I just sat and stared at him. Hoping and praying that he would be back to normal soon enough. I couldn't stand seeing him like that. Katniss had finally left to go hunting for dinner tonight and Prim had told me that Gale could be moved now. He was currently lying on our couch and I was holding his hand, running my own hand over his.

It was crushing me. Hazelle had gone back home to get some sleep so we were alone. I loved him so much that it hurt to see him lying here, looking so helpless. I couldn't help but wonder if that was the same way that he felt watching me during my Games. That was probably the way that they had all felt. I shook my head and sighed, watching the slow breaths leave Gale. He looked like a child, like he had when we had first met. He looked so weak. And it was all because of me. His eyes began to flutter and I leaned over him, watching as he moved slightly so that he could look at me.

His eyes were still half-closed. I wasn't sure how much that he could see but at least he was awake. "Hey, Tiger," Gale said softly.

So at least he could see that it was me. He grabbed my hand and brought it to lay on top of his bare chest. My face heated up slightly but I left my hand there anyways. "Gale," I breathed out. "You're okay."

"I'm alive."

"I'm so happy to see you," I muttered to Gale.

"Thought you would be gone by now. I thought that you were still mad at me because of the whole refusing to go with you on a death mission," he said.

It made me smile. I was angry that he didn't want to go with me but that didn't matter right now. All that mattered was that he wasn't dead. "You aren't off the hook for that," I told him, giving him a small nudge.

He laughed and coughed slightly and I felt bad for ever making him chose between me and an important fight. "I wouldn't have expected to be," Gale said.

"But I'm giving you a leave for a while. Just while you heal though. I'll be back on your ass in no time," I said.

"Something would be wrong if you weren't."

"I'm not going anywhere. I'm gonna stay right here," I told him.

We both smiled at each other. He looked almost like a child right now. I liked it. I liked seeing him weak like that for just a moment. I leaned down to give him a kiss on the forehead and tell him to go back to sleep. But instead he brought my head back down before I could get up and he gave me a small kiss on the lips, surprising me again. It hurt to kiss him, knowing that he loved me but my heart was with someone else. Still he was too weak for me to let him down right now. So I smiled at him and pretended that I was okay. One day he would realize that Cato had my heart, but for now I could give him faith.

"Me too," he said.

Gale was still smiling as he let me get back up. Thankfully he didn't want to keep talking about the kiss or the injury. We just fell back into a pattern of talking to each other like we were the oldest of friends. Which was exactly what we were. The two of us sat together and talked for a while until he finally began to fall back asleep. I let him doze off and smiled as I watched him sleep. He looked exhausted and I knew that he was. It had been a long day for him and it would be a long recovery. That was a nasty injury that he had suffered.

A little while later Ms. Everdeen had brought him more Morphling and I had apologized for my actions earlier. She didn't seem bothered. I sat with Gale for about another hour before deciding that he wouldn't be getting up any time soon. Even if he did get up he could just yell and one of us would hear him. I stood up and walked out of the house and headed out into the yard. I needed to get outside for a while. I hadn't seen Katniss come back so I figured that she was either having a really good hunting day or a really bad one. That was usually why she was out so long. As I walked though I saw Prim in the yard and I walked up to her.

"Hey kiddo," I called.

"Hey, Aspen. Feeling better?" she asked.

"Oh, I'll be fine. Gale woke up for a bit but he's back asleep."

"That's good. He needs to sleep."

"And how are you?" I asked.

"I'm okay," she said.

Prim turned back to me and smiled. It had been a long time since I'd seen her smile like that. She waved me over and I walked out to her, going onto my knees in the little snow that was left. Prim took some time to put more snow against the whip mark on the back of my thighs. I could see the spot that Katniss had dug out of the snow and I sighed. I hoped that Gale would be sleeping for the rest of the night. And I hoped that he wanted to stay here. His siblings didn't need to see him looking the way that he looked right now. Prim looked over at me and sighed.

"How's your eye?" Prim asked.

Out of all of the injuries that I had ever had, this was nothing. I was much more concerned about Gale. "It's nothing really. I've had much worse, you know?" I asked, with a little laugh.

Prim looked up at me with a startled stare and I felt the guilt hit me. "Oh..." she muttered.

That was a bad idea when she thought that everything was her fault. "Sorry, I shouldn't have brought that up. It's not my eye that's bothering me," I said.

"What is?" Prim asked.

"How can we live like this? How can anybody live like this? It's not living but..." I trailed off.

Prim and I were silent for a moment and I thought about everything. I was slowly helping her gather and plant more herbs but I also knew that I was useless for all of this. This was Prim's thing. Not mine. But I was happy to be with her. I missed her. Things were so different in District 12 these days. It used to be a happy place where everyone looked like they were having the best time. People would always play in the streets and kids were happy most times of the year. Prim finally sighed and I looked over at her to see what it was that was bothering her.

"Since the last Games something is different. We can see it. All of us," Prim said.

What was it that a little kid could see rather than me? "What can you see?" I asked.

She gave me a solemn look. "Hope," she said softly.

Was there hope in the world? Perhaps in theirs. But it didn't really feel like there was much hope in my world these days. Her answer hadn't been what I was expecting. I thought that she would say something about all of the people that were fighting now but instead she turned the fighting into something happy. She was right, people did have hope. But I wanted her to understand that there was a difference between hope and stupidity. People had to be careful not to push the Capitol too far. They had destroyed District 13 once upon a time. I wouldn't be surprised if they destroyed District 12. But they wouldn't. Not on my watch.

"You understand that whatever I do comes back to you and your sister and your mom. Gale and his family too. I don't want any of you to get hurt. I've hurt you all enough," I said pathetically, hoping that the little girl still had some love left for me.

Prim shook her head at me and I watched as she grabbed my hand and squeezed it gently. She had such a small grip and I almost laughed. It wasn't like the rough grip that Gale had or the bone crushing one that Cato had. She was still a child and sometimes I forgot that. It so often seemed like there were no little kids in this world. It seemed so often that she was an adult who already had a grip on this world. Even more than I did sometimes.

"You haven't hurt any of us. You've saved us," Prim said.

She had no idea what she was saying. She had no idea that it was my fault that they were all being threatened daily. "I didn't, Prim," I said.

"You saved Katniss and me from the Games. You saved Gale from the Peacekeeper. You don't have to protect me. Or Katniss or Gale. Or Mom. We're with you," Prim said.

She was such a sweetheart. I couldn't bear the thought of accidentally hurting her. Not when I had already done so much to hurt her. I ruffled Prim's hair and she laughed before batting my hand away. She was smiling and the sight made me feel better. It had been so long since I had heard her really laugh and seen her really smile. I missed the carefree little girl that used to hang around the Seam. I missed the Prim that I had saved.

"When did you get smarter than me?" I asked.

She giggled as I poked her in the side and gave her a little tickle. "I've always been smarter than you," Prim teased.

"I love you," I told her softly.

And I really did. I would always love her. She grabbed me around the waist and buried her head in my chest. That was the little girl that I missed. I kissed the top of her head gently and smiled. "I love you too," she said softly.

It was the happiest that I had seen either one of us in a long time. It was the first time I had smiled since leaving Cato at the Harvest Festival. I decided to help Prim gather the rest of her herbs from the yard before sending her back into the house. She ran back in and I smiled when I saw Katniss coming up to me. She had a few small animals on her belt and I nodded at her. It didn't look like the trip had been a total waste. Katniss tossed the animals at me and I caught them. I had never been fond of killing animals out in the woods but it was something that I had needed to do to live.

"Not even a week at home and you're already causing problems," Katniss called.

I laughed. She knew what to say to make me feel better. "You know me so well," I called back.

"Sometimes I wonder if you just want this all to happen. Like if a normal life is too boring for you now."

"Oh, I've never had a normal life, Cat."

"Trust me. I know that. But I know that it isn't true. I know that you would do anything to just undo everything that you've done."

"Yes. You're right," I muttered.

"But you can't do that. Not now. It's too far gone. There's a war coming," Katniss said.

There was no avoiding it anymore. We just had to face it head on and hope that things went well for us. "I know. It's getting worse. It's going to keep getting worse with each passing day. I'm not sure that there's anything that I can even do to stop it," I said softly.

"I don't think there is. I hate to say it but... Gale is right. I'm going to fight. I'll be there at your side. Every step of the way," she said.

The two of us smiled at each other as I pulled her in for a little hug. She had no idea how much that meant to me. To have people that would fight alongside me. People that would help me clean up the mess that I had started. She shouldn't have to clean up my mess but it meant the world to me that she would. That she wouldn't just abandon me.

"Thank you. But you've done enough for me," I said.

"No, Aspen -"

"You all have. It's time that we just give this up. I can't just keep up this act for the rest of my life. President Snow can kill me if he wants just as long as he leaves you all alone."

Horror was plain and clear in her eyes. "You are _not_ -"

"If it means that you are all safe, I would die in a heartbeat. You know that," I said.

She grabbed my hand. She was far too stubborn. It was one of the many ways that we were just like each other. "I do, but I know that you won't. The people want a war," she said.

"Do you want a war?"

"I don't know," she admitted.

Maybe she would have done well in the Games. She was just as tough as I was, and she wouldn't have been so foolish to fall in love with Cato. But what about Peeta? Peeta. That's what I would do this for. For him. To show that his death was not for nothing. To show that I was not a pawn in their Games. It had been his final request of me before he had died. I owed it to him to at least go through with my final promise to him.

"You're going to end up leading it. One way or another," Katniss said.

I knew that I would have to lead this war. It was my fight. "I didn't want this," I muttered.

"I know. But there's no stopping it now. It's like I said before. I'll be there for you. We're behind you, Aspen. I'm behind you. Because you're my sister. Just as much as Prim is. You're family," Katniss said.

We pulled each other into another hug. She was my sister. She would always be my sister. We had been since we were little. I couldn't imagine my life without her. Without Katniss, Prim, Ms. Everdeen, or Gale. Now Cato, too. I had to do work out this war. To keep him and his family safe too. Katniss was my family and I would die to protect her. I almost had. I had to make this world a better place for her and I would. But I would not be putting her life at risk.

"That's why this can't happen. I'll placate President Snow for now," I said.

"How?"

"Go forward with the wedding. Do everything that he wants. Mentor the Quarter Quell. But you're right. A war is coming. Not far from now either."

"Aspen... I don't get it."

"The next Games will only egg on the war. I'll be there in the Capitol during it," I said.

Katniss nodded at me. I knew what I was doing. I knew what had to be done. I knew that it would end in my death but it didn't matter. "I'm still not sure that I understand," Katniss said.

"Snow will be out and about all the time. It will be a perfect time to be alone with him. I'll surrender. I'll do what he wants."

"That's a terrible idea," Katniss argued.

But I wasn't quite done yet. "And then when he isn't looking, I'll kill him."

 **A/N:** Here's another fully edited chapter. **Let me know what you think!** Until next time- A


	6. Chapter 6

That night I had another lingering nightmare. For the first time in a long time it wasn't about Seneca Crane and what he wanted me to do. This time I was back in the arena. I was sitting out at the same lake in the desert where the wolf muttation had attacked me. That same howling, those same green eyes, and that same pain from when it attacked me. But instead of actually stabbing me with its claws and teasing me apart with its teeth it kept hitting me with whip-like movements. That was until it leaned its head back and howled before leaning down and ripping out my throat.

A scream tore from my throat as I jumped upright. Sweat was building at my hairline and I pushed it back before placing my hands over my head. I sat there for a few minutes until I finally could get over the feeling of the wolf slowly killing me. The swelling around my eye had gone down because now I could open it a bit. There was still a searing pain in my thigh but it could have been worse. It was a little red but I would live. My main concern was that it didn't get infected - and seeing that it wasn't really that large of an open wound - it didn't seem to be that way.

Either way we had a number of medicines to take care of it. I looked in the mirror and groaned. My eye was very ugly. There was a deep purple and red sore over the eye that was still throbbing. It was very swollen and kept me from seeing that much. Partially blind now, just after getting over being partially deaf. I pushed aside the curtains as I walked back into the bedroom and immediately I saw that the snowstorm had strengthened to a full-out blizzard. Which was funny, considering that in a number of the other Districts - including Cato's - it was practically summer.

Here in District 12 there was nothing but whiteness and the howling wind that sounds remarkably like the muttations that I faced in the arena. It made me stumble back from the window. I welcomed the nasty blizzard, with its ferocious winds and deep, drifting snow. That may have been enough to keep the real wolves, also known as the Peacekeepers, away from my door. It would give me a few days to think. A few days to work out a new plan. With Gale and Haymitch at hand. And, if I could get him on the phone, Cato. This blizzard was a gift.

All I had to do was figure out how to get Cato on the phone. We had talked about it during the Victory Tour. We had talked about how much we wanted to be able to chat on the phone. We had vowed to figure out how and keep our conversations brief. Neither one of us were stupid enough to not realize that the phones would be tapped. They would be listening to our conversations. But Cato and I were very good at masking our words and reading between the lines. The Capitol had ensured that we'd learned how to do that. All I needed to do was inform him of what was happening.

Before I went downstairs to face that new life, though, I took some time making myself acknowledge what it would mean. Less than a day ago, I was prepared to head into the wilderness with my loved ones in midwinter, with the very real possibility of the Capitol pursuing us. A precarious venture at best. We would have likely starved to death. I knew what it would mean to head out into the woods in the middle of winter. We likely wouldn't have made it. We might not even make it now. Because now I was committing to something even more risky.

Fighting the Capitol assured their swift retaliation. I had to accept that at any moment I could be arrested. There would be a knock on the door, like the one last night, with a band of Peacekeepers to haul me away. There would be torture. Mutilation. A bullet through my skull in the Town Square, if I was fortunate enough to go that quickly. The Capitol had no end of creative ways to kill people. I imagined these things and I was terrified, but I had to face it. They had been lurking in the back of my brain anyways.

I'd already been through a number of ways that they had tried to hurt and injure me. A wall of fire that had burned through my leg. A drowning attempt. A thirty foot free-fall down a ravine. Fights with all sorts of different muttations. Multiple nights spent with and fearing Seneca Crane. They already knew that I could withstand torture of the worst kinds. I had been a Tribute in the Games and had suffered more than once at their hands. Been threatened by President Snow personally. Taken a lash across my face and legs. I was already a target.

All of those things I could get over. I could live with risking my own life. Now came the harder part. I had to face the fact that my family and friends might end up sharing that fate. Prim... I needed only to think of Prim and all my resolve disintegrated. It was my job to protect her. It had been my job to protect her from the moment that I had said 'I volunteer' at the Reaping all those months ago. I would protect her for the rest of my life. And Katniss... She acted tough but I knew that I needed to protect her too. I pulled the blanket up over my head to try and hide from the world.

My breathing was so rapid that I used up all the oxygen and began to choke for air. I couldn't let the Capitol hurt Prim or Katniss. And then it hit me. They already had. They have killed their father in those wretched mines all those years ago. They had sat by as those girls almost starved to death. They had chosen Prim as a Tribute, almost let her sister go into the Games, and had then made the girl who was like their sister fight to the death in the Games. They had been hurt far worse than I had at the age of twelve and sixteen. Sort of. In some ways. But even that paled in comparison with Rue's life.

That hit me in the chest like someone had punched me. So I shoved off the blanket and sucked in the cold air that seeped through the windowpanes. Prim... Katniss... Rue... Weren't they the very reason that I had to try and fight? It didn't end at them. There were so many other people that I had to protect. Innocent women and children. They were the reason that I had to fight. Because what had been done to them was so wrong, so beyond justification, so evil, that there was really no choice. Because no one had the right to treat them as they have been treated.

Yes. That was the thing to remember when fear threatened to swallow me up. What I was about to do, whatever any of us would be forced to endure, it was for them. It was too late to help Rue, but maybe not too late for those five little faces that looked up at me from the Town Square in District 11. Not too late for Rory and Vick and Posy. Not too late for Prim and Katniss. Gale was right. If people had the courage, this could be an opportunity. He was also right that, since I had set it in motion, I could do so much. I had no idea what exactly that should be. But deciding not to run away was a crucial first step.

As I tried to calm myself down and think of what I could possibly do to start an uprising, I took a shower. This morning my brain was not assembling lists of supplies for the wild, but trying to figure out how they organized that uprising in District 8. So many people who were so clearly acting in defiance of the Capitol. Was it even planned, or was it something that simply erupted out of years of hatred and resentment? How could we do that here? Would the people of District 12 join in or lock their doors? Yesterday the Town Square emptied so quickly after Gale's whipping.

Was I literally shooting myself in the foot by wanting to start a uprising? But wasn't the absence of people in the Town Square because we all felt so impotent and had no idea what to do? We needed someone to direct us and reassure us that it was possible. And I didn't think that I was that person. I may have been a catalyst for rebellion, but a leader should be someone with conviction, and I was barely a convert myself. Someone with unflinching courage while I was still working hard at even finding mine. Someone with clear and persuasive words while I was so easily tongue-tied.

Words. I thought of words and I thought of Cato. His easy rapport with Caesar Flickerman. His ability to charm everyone. How people embraced everything that he said, no matter how strange or severe it was. He could move a crowd to action, I was willing to bet, if he chose to. He would find the things to say. But I was sure that the idea has never crossed his mind. And there was the issue of how I could get District 12 to listen to someone from District 2, who were notoriously loyal to the Capitol. Nothing would work with me in the shower. So I left and headed downstairs.

Downstairs I found Ms. Everdeen, Katniss, and Prim tending to a subdued Gale. The medicine must have been wearing off, by the look on his face. I braced myself for another fight but I tried to keep my voice calm. "Can't you give him another shot?" I asked.

"I will, if it's needed. We thought we'd try the snow coat first," Ms. Everdeen said.

Slowly moving to the edge of the table I watched as they continued to work on Gale. Katniss looked sick. She never had liked tending to the injured. I walked a few steps closer and looked over what they had done to Gale in the night. Ms. Everdeen had removed his bandages. You could practically see the heat radiating off of his back. Now I knew how Cato felt when he saw the puckering wounds that the wolf mutt had left. Terrified and sick to his stomach. Ms. Everdeen laid a clean cloth across Gale's angry flesh and nodded to Prim.

Prim came over, stirring what appeared to be a large bowl of snow. I glanced over, desperate to look anywhere but Gale's back. I never had liked looking at injuries. Especially not when they were on those that I loved. The snow was tinted a light green and gave off a sweet, clean scent. Snow coat. Some herbs must have been it. She carefully began to ladle the stuff onto the cloth. I could almost hear the sizzle of Gale's tormented skin meeting the snow mixture. My jaws clenched. Gale's eyes fluttered open, perplexed, and then he let out a sound of relief.

"It's lucky we have snow," Ms. Everdeen said.

Healing in the heat was bad enough. I could remember the searing heat not at all helping my infection. Snow would have been helpful. But to heal here, with the midsummer searing heat and the tepid water from the tap. "What did you do in warm months?" I asked.

A crease appeared between Ms. Everdeen's eyebrows as she frowned. "Tried to keep the flies away," she answered.

My stomach turned at the thought. I wished that I hadn't asked her about it. If there was one good thing that they did for us in the arena, it was not letting in bugs. There were no flies attempting to eat away at my flesh when my infection was at its worst. That was relieving in retrospect. Ms. Everdeen filled a handkerchief with the snow-coat mixture and I held it to the weal on my cheek. Instantly the pain withdrew. I wished that I'd had that in the arena. It was the coldness of the snow that helped, yes, but whatever mixed of herbal juices Ms. Everdeen had added numbed too.

"Oh. That's wonderful. Why didn't you put this on him last night?" I asked.

"I needed the wound to set first," she said.

That didn't make any sense to me. During the arena I had wished that I was a better healer more than once. I'd almost wished that Prim was with me from time to time because I'd felt so lousy and needed some help. Right now I wished that I understood. Maybe it would help me in the future. Because I wasn't sure what that meant exactly, but as long as it worked, who was I to question her? She knew what she was doing. I felt another pang of remorse about yesterday, the awful things I yelled at her as Katniss and Haymitch dragged me from the kitchen.

"I'm sorry. About screaming at you yesterday," I said.

"I've heard worse. You've seen how people are, when someone they love is in pain," Ms. Everdeen said.

Katniss gave me a quick look. _Someone they love_. The words numbed my tongue as if it had been packed in snow coat. Of course, I loved Gale. But what kind of love did she mean? Did she think that something was there? What did I mean when I said that I loved Gale? Friendship? Absolutely. Something more? Maybe if things were different... I didn't know. He had kissed me last night and I'd let him. But I was sure he didn't remember it. Did he? I hoped not. If he did, everything would just get more complicated and I really couldn't think about him when I had a rebellion to incite. I gave my head a little shake to clear it.

The phone started to ring. "Who is that?" I asked.

Chances were that it was for me. It always was. "It's been ringing all morning. I answered and it's Cato. He keeps asking for you. I told him to just keep trying back for when you woke up. I didn't want to wake you. He figured out the numbers," Ms. Everdeen told me.

"Oh," I said, surprised.

It must have been the first time that Cato had spoken with Ms. Everdeen. The ringing stopped. Damn it! I wasted too much time. I would have to wait for him to call back now. "Aspen! I've got your fiancé on the phone," Haymitch called.

"Be right there!"

For a moment I almost forgot where the phone was, seeing as I so rarely used it. But then I remembered exactly where it was. So I sprinted into the study and found Haymitch. He was waiting with the phone in hand, dangling it by the cord. It felt a little strange to be back in the study. It was a room that I had pretty much avoided since my meeting with President Snow. Grabbing the phone from Haymitch, I shoved him away from me and out of the room. It had only been a little over a week since I'd seen him, but I already missed Cato.

"Cato?" I called into the phone.

"Hey, Aspen," he said.

"Oh... I'm so happy to hear your voice," I said, slumping back into the chair that President Snow had sit in just a month ago.

"It's just been a few days," Cato teased.

 _But I had to make sure that President Snow hadn't already killed you or your family_. "I know. Does that mean I'm not allowed to miss you?" I asked.

"Of course not. I'm glad that you finally picked up. Late sleeper today, I see?"

"Busy night," I explained. "How'd you figure out the number?"

"Took some prying but Effie gave it to me. I just told her that I missed you a lot and wanted your number. We shouldn't talk for too long. Before they realize that we're in contact with each other," Cato said.

"Just a couple of minutes," I confirmed.

"Is that Aspen?" Carrie's voice called.

"Yes," Cato said.

"Tell her I said hello!"

"Tell Carrie I said hello back," I told Cato.

"She says hello back," Cato told his sister-in-law.

"Oh, is that Aspen?" Dean's voice asked.

"Isn't that sweet? They got each other's numbers so now they can talk to each other," Carrie said.

"You're talking to Aspen?" Alana asked.

"Yes, mother," Cato growled.

It made me smile, hearing their entire family chat back and forth while Cato obviously wanted to be left alone. "Give us the phone! We want to say hello!" Skye chirped.

"Would you all get out of here! I'm not going to get very long on the phone with her. I would like to talk to my fiancé, in private, for two minutes. Why are you all even in here? Why do you chose now to talk to me? Out!" Cato barked. There was a long period of loud voices grumbling back and forth until it quieted. "Aidan, don't touch that. Out!"

"Sounds like you're having quite the day," I teased.

"Not quite like yours. How's Gale?" Cato asked.

That took me aback. "What?" I asked dumbly.

How had he found out? Did he even know about everything? I was suddenly very nervous. "You know that as Victors we're privy to a few more news stations than the average citizen gets. We get some of the more serious news channels. One broadcasts public hearings. Like the one with Gale in District 12. Because of that turkey he _found_." Cato strained the word, enough to tell me that he knew that it was a lie about how he'd gotten it, but he wouldn't dare say it out loud. "I saw it. A lot of people saw it," Cato said.

"How much? All of it?" I asked.

"No. Not all of it. The whole thing cut off once you had stepped in front of Thread. All we saw was you desperately trying to stop it."

"I... I had to help him. I had to save him," I said slowly.

"I know. He's your best friend," Cato said slowly. "What happened?"

He wouldn't like the story but he deserved to know. "I just tried to step in front and stop the whole thing. Thread whipped me once pretty hard across the face." There was an audible sound of pain from Cato. "It's okay. Just left an ugly mark. It'll go away by the wedding photo shoot, which has been pushed back, in case you were wondering. Got a lash across the back of the legs too and a punch in the face when I refused to move. Thread threatened to shoot me for not moving. Haymitch came in and diffused the situation. But now we have a martial law and people are terrified," I explained.

"I'll kill Thread if he ever touches you again," Cato growled.

"It's okay, Cato. Mom and Katniss and Prim are helping Gale out. And I'm slowly getting better."

"Is he on the mend?"

"Yeah. It's going to take some time to get him back to normal but he's working on it. He's just in a lot of pain right now. We've got some Morphling for him right now, which is good."

The phone line started to waver, which I had a feeling was from the weather. Cato must have noticed it. "Something going on at your end?" Cato asked.

"A blizzard."

Cato laughed. "That's funny. It must be almost a hundred degrees here," Cato said.

"I don't know if I'm jealous or if I feel bad for you."

We both laughed before the air turned a little more serious. "Aspen, please be careful. Thread really is dangerous. I don't want to lose you. Be careful out in District 12. Things are getting bad everywhere. But I'll see you in a few months," Cato said.

"I'm being careful. You aren't going to lose me."

"Promise me," Cato said harshly.

"Promise," I said softly, not wanting to give away my plan to form a rebellion.

"We should go. But I'll call back soon and keep writing, okay?"

"We should avoid the phones as much as possible. I don't want them overhearing too much."

"Like me telling you that I dreamed about our night in the Capitol last night?" Cato asked.

Even from here I could see his eyebrows waggling and the smirk settling over his features. "Cato!" I barked, my cheeks burning.

He was laughing at me. "Just kidding. I'm not, actually." It made me smile. "I love you, Aspen. Stay safe and stay warm," Cato said.

"I love you too, Cato. We'll talk soon," I promised.

Unfortunately I didn't get a chance to talk to him much afterwards. It took two days for the storm to blow itself out, leaving us with drifts higher than my head. Another day passed before the path was cleared from the Victor's Village to the Town Square. During that time I helped tend to Gale, applied snow coat to my cheek, and tried to remember everything I could about the uprising in District 8, in case it would help us. The swelling in my face went down, leaving me with an itchy, healing wound and a very black eye. But still, the first chance I got, I went into town.

Since I didn't have Cato, Katniss served as my makeshift fiancé to help me out with Haymitch. We ended up having to rouse Haymitch and drag him along with us. He complained about being woken up, but not as much as usual. We all knew that we needed to discuss what happened and it couldn't be anywhere as dangerous as our homes in the Victor's Village. In fact, we waited until the village was well behind us to even speak. I spent the time studying the ten-foot walls of snow piled up on either side of the narrow path that had been cleared, wondering if they would collapse in on us.

Finally Haymitch broke the silence. "So we're all heading off into the great unknown, are we?" Haymitch asked me.

"No. Not anymore," I said.

"Worked through the flaws in that plan, did you, sweetheart?" he asked. He was always such a jerk about everything, including my ideas. "Any new ideas?"

"I want to start an uprising," I said suddenly.

For a moment I didn't think that Haymitch really understood that I was being serious. He looked at Katniss, as if waiting for her to tell him that it was all a joke, but she merely shook her head. We were being totally serious about this. I wanted to start an uprising and then I wanted to take Snow's head on a platter. Haymitch just laughed at me. It wasn't even a mean laugh, which was more troubling. It showed that he couldn't even take me seriously.

"Well, I want a drink. You let me know how that works out for you, though," he said.

"Then what's your plan?" I spat back at him.

"My plan is to make sure everything is just perfect for your wedding. I called and rescheduled the photo shoot without giving too many details," Haymitch explained.

Of course. There was a good chance that no one else knew what had happened between Romulus Thread and me. No one in the Capitol would want to hear that my face was damaged during an incident where my 'cousin' was being whipped practically to death. It was just chance that Cato had managed to see it on the news channels. And, of course, it was cut off before any of the real fun started. But that wasn't what got me. Haymitch didn't have a phone. He always claimed that it was because there was no one in the Capitol or anywhere else that he wanted to talk to.

"You don't even have a phone," I pointed out.

"Effie had that fixed," Haymitch explained. "Do you know she asked me if I'd like to give you away? I told her the sooner the better."

"Well that's rude," I snapped.

But there was something almost sweet about the thought of Haymitch giving me away. I supposed that, save Cinna, he was the closest thing to a father that I had. "Come on, sweetheart. Buck up," Haymitch said.

"Haymitch," I whined.

I could hear the pleading that was creeping into my voice. "Aspen." He mimicked my tone. "It won't work," he said determinedly.

For a moment I thought about arguing back with him. But we had to shut up as a team of men with shovels passed us, headed out to the Victor's Village. Maybe they could do something about those ten-foot walls. Although they would take a long time to get through. Snow certainly wasn't easy to shovel in large amounts like that. It was what constantly kept my old house's roof caving in. By the time they were out of earshot, the Square was too close. We stepped into it and all came to a stop simultaneously. Nothing much would happen during the blizzard. That was what Katniss and I had agreed on.

We knew that the snow would keep people away. But we couldn't have been more wrong. The Town Square had been transformed. A huge banner with the seal of Panem hung off the roof of the Justice Building. It was normally only there on Reaping Day. Not even on the Victory Tour was one hung up. Peacekeepers, in pristine white uniforms, marched on the cleanly swept cobblestones. Along the rooftops more of them occupied nests of machine guns. Most unnerving was a line of new constructions - an official whipping post, several stockades, and a gallows - set up in the center of the Square.

"Thread's a quick worker," Haymitch said.

It was all like a warning from what had happened to Gale a few days ago. It was a warning to everyone else. It wasn't a one-time thing. If someone else broke the law, we would be lucky to be executed by firing squad. Then I saw a sight that rocked me to my care. Some streets away from the Square, I spotted a blaze flaring up. None of us had to say it. That could only be the Hob going up in smoke. They had set it and everything in it on fire. All because it was illegal. I thought of Greasy Sae, Ripper, and all my pther friends who made their living there.

They would starve without it. "The Hob," Katniss whispered pathetically.

It looked like she was about to run off when I caught her arm. "No. No. They'll still be there. We'll be shot," I whispered.

"She's right. We stay here for now," Haymitch said.

But the thought of my friends burning alive - which was a feeling I only knew all-too-well - almost made me move. "Haymitch, you don't think everyone was still in -" I couldn't finish the sentence.

"Nah, they're smarter than that. You'd be, too, if you'd been around longer," Haymitch said.

A breath escaped my lungs. They were alive. Probably in trouble, but for now they were alive. "Good," I whispered.

"Well, I better go see how much rubbing alcohol the apothecary can spare," Haymitch said.

He trudged off across the Square without another word and I looked at Katniss. "What's he want that for?" I asked. Then I realized the answer. Exactly what I had once helped him though. He didn't want to go through a withdrawal. "We can't let him drink it. He'll kill himself, or at the very least go blind. I've got some white liquor put away at home."

"Me, too," Katniss said. "I've been picking some up when I wandered the Hob. Didn't want Prim to see him go through another withdrawal."

"Thanks," I said, glad that she cared enough to help me out with Haymitch.

"Maybe that will hold him until Ripper finds a way to be back in business," Katniss said.

"If we're lucky. I think I should check on Peeta's family."

Katniss let out a deep breath. She had been having a hard time with Peeta dead. She had no idea how he felt about her for all of those years and now - as soon as he told her how he really felt - he had been killed. Right where she had watched it. She came with me from time to time to see Peeta's family and help out in the bakery. She had come to the funeral and wept almost as hard as I had. But for two very different reasons. It was the one time that Gale had left her alone about Peeta. He had definitely been a little bitter over Peeta's announcement.

"And then I have to go see Hazelle," I said.

I was worried now. I thought she would be on our doorstep the moment the snow was cleared. But there had been no sign of her. "I'll go, too. We can drop by the bakery on my way home," Katniss said.

"Thanks."

We were essentially each other's babysitters today. We had been for months. Particularly when it came to anything having to do with Peeta, Gale, or Cato. Which everything seemed to have something to do with. I was suddenly very scared at what we might find when we got to the families. The streets were almost deserted, which would not be so unusual at this time of day if people were at the mines and kids at school. But they weren't. Which was very surprising as those were both required. But the mines were closed and evidently so was school. I could see faces peeking at us out of doorways and through cracks in shutters.

An uprising. What an idiot I was. There was an inherent flaw in the plan that Gale, Katniss, I were too blind to see. An uprising required breaking the law and thwarting authority. We had done that our whole lives. Our families had. Poaching, trading on the black market, and mocking the Capitol in the woods. But for most people in District 12, a trip to buy something at the Hob would be too risky. And I expected them to assemble in the Square with bricks and torches? Even the sight of Katniss and me - particularly me - was enough to make people pull their children away from the windows and draw the curtains tightly.

We managed to find Hazelle in her house, which was very surprising, until I realized that she was nursing a very sick Posy. Honestly I felt very bad for Hazelle. She was already having a terrible time with Gale. I had been wondering why she hadn't come back by and checked on him. Evidently this was why. Posy was very ill. We could all tell just by looking. It must have happened after the blizzard. Posy had been fine the last time I'd seen. But I recognized the measles spots.

"I couldn't leave her. I knew Gale would be in the best possible hands," Hazelle said, looking very strained.

"Of course. He's much better. My mother says he'll be back in the mines in a couple of weeks," I said.

"His back is slowly looking better. He'll be healthy enough to move in a matter of days," Katniss said.

"Well the mines may not be open until then, anyway. Word is they're closed until further notice," Hazelle said.

"Really?" I asked.

"Mines and school," Hazelle explained.

That explained why Katniss and I had seen all of the people inside buildings. Hazelle gave a nervous glance at her empty washtub. "You closed down, too?" I asked.

"Not officially. But everyone's afraid to use me now," Hazelle said.

"Maybe it's the snow," Katniss said, trying to be hopeful.

"No, Rory made a quick round this morning. Nothing to wash, apparently," Hazelle said.

Rory wrapped his arms around Hazelle. It was hard to see them already struggling. "We'll be all right," Rory said.

Katniss and I exchanged another long look. I took a handful of money from my pocket and laid it down on the table. Hazelle looked at me gratefully. "My mother will send something for Posy," Katniss said.

When we were outside, I turned to Katniss. "You go on back. I want to walk by the Hob," I said.

"I'll go with you," she said.

"No. I've dragged you into enough trouble," I told him.

"And avoiding a stroll by the Hob... that's going to fix things for me?"

We both smiled. It was the first time that I actually smiled in a while, other than during the brief phone call with Cato the other day. Katniss smiled and the two of us wrapped our arms around each other. It was still a little cold for the two of us to be walking around in the rather thin clothes that we were in. Together we wound through the streets of the Seam until we reached the burning building. They hadn't even bothered to leave Peacekeepers around it. They knew that no one would try to save it. The heat from the flames melted the surrounding snow and I stumbled backwards.

"You okay?" Katniss asked.

For a moment all I could see was the fireballs attempting to melt the flesh off of my bones. "Y - Yeah. Been a while since I've been around fire. Haven't been keen to get back around it," I said.

"We can leave."

"No. I'm fine."

"Maybe we should."

"No, thanks. I want see what's going on."

A black trickle ran across my shoes. "It's all that coal dust, from the old days," Katniss said.

It was in every crack and crevice. Ground into the floorboards. It was amazing that the place didn't go up before. "I want to check on Greasy Sae," I said, after a beat.

Katniss looked like she wanted to stay too and go hunt down Greasy Sae, but we both knew that it was the wrong thing to do. "Not today, Aspen. I don't think we'd be helping anyone by dropping in on them," she said.

As much as we wanted to check on her, we both knew that it would only make things worse. I had done enough damage. So we just went back to the Town Square. I bought some cakes from Peeta's father while we all exchanged small talk about the weather. No one mentioned the ugly tools of torture just yards from the front door. As we stood inside the store I chatted with Peeta's brothers, avoided the scathing glare of his mother - who only hated me because she thought that it was my fault that she had lost a worker - and walked around the store.

Every time that I was in the bakery they allowed me to go upstairs to Peeta's room. It was the first time that Katniss had been in it. I noticed that she was on the verge of tears as I walked around the room that I liked to keep clean by dusting every week and ran my fingers over his things. I pressed a small kiss against the memorial photograph of Peeta that his father placed on his bed - which was of him decorating cakes just downstairs - and headed out. The last thing that I noticed as we were leaving the Square was that I didn't recognize even one of the Peacekeepers' faces.

As the days passed, things went from bad to worse. Electricity was almost always out which meant that people were freezing to death in their homes from the cold weather over the past few weeks. Only Haymitch and I had heat. The mines stayed shut for two weeks, and by that time half of District 12 was starving. It made my heart break when I walked past the Town Square and saw that the number of kids signing up for Tessera was soaring. But now they often didn't receive their grain. I tried to help feed people, but no one wanted to talk to me. Thankfully Katniss and Prim didn't need to sign up. They had me.

But things were disastrous in other parts of the District. Food shortages began after the mines closed, and even those with money came away from stores empty-handed. There was nothing to buy. When the mines reopened, wages were cut, hours extended to dangerous amounts, and miners were sent into blatantly dangerous work sites. The eagerly awaited food promised for Parcel Day arrived spoiled and defiled by rodents. The installations in the Town Square were seeing plenty of action as people were dragged in and punished for offenses so long overlooked we had forgotten that they were illegal.

Even Gale was back in the mines. They refused to let him off of work, feeling that his lashing was his own fault and they didn't need to do anything to help him out. Gale went home with no more talk of rebellion between us. But I couldn't help thinking that everything he saw would only strengthen his resolve to fight back. The hardships in the mines, the tortured bodies in the Square, and the hunger on the faces of his family. Even Rory had signed up for Tessera, something Gale couldn't even speak about, but it was still not enough with the inconsistent availability and the ever-increasing price of food.

The only bright spot was that I got Haymitch to hire Hazelle as a housekeeper, resulting in some extra money for her and greatly increasing Haymitch's standard of living. It was weird going into his house, finding it fresh and clean, with food warming on the stove. At least he was starting to put on a little more weight and looking a little healthier these days. Not that he noticed. These days he was fighting a whole different battle. Katniss and I tried to ration what white liquor we had, but it had almost run out, and the last time I saw Ripper, she was in the stocks.

There was nothing that I could do to help anyone, as much as I tried. I felt like a pariah when I walked through the streets. It had led me to staying indoors most of the time. Everyone avoided me in public now. But there was no shortage of company at home. A steady supply of ill and injured people were deposited in our kitchen before Ms. Everdeen, who had long since stopped charging for her services, since no one could have afforded them. Her stocks of remedies were running so low, though, that soon all she would have to treat the patients with was snow.

The woods, of course, were forbidden. They always had been, but no one had ever bothered Gale, Katniss, and I about it. Because they all liked buying our kills. But there was no movement to be made out there now. Absolutely. No question. Even Gale didn't challenge it now. It was just to say how bad things were, that we weren't even daring to try and take a step out of the District. Being out in the woods had never bothered us before. But now... There was no way that we could. We would be killed.

But we had to do something. So, one morning, I went to Katniss. "Cat, we have to do something," I said.

"What?" she asked.

"The woods. We need to go. I know that it's a bad idea and we could get caught and -"

"I'll go," Katniss interrupted.

"Really?" I asked.

"Yeah. When do we do it?"

"Early. Tomorrow morning. We have to get out there. Get some food for the rest of the District."

"Before the sun," Katniss said.

We agreed that we would leave and wouldn't dare tell anyone else what was going on. We would be risking a lot of people finding out what we were doing and hurting us. But we had to do it. So the next morning, we did. And it wasn't the house full of the sick and dying, the bleeding backs, the gaunt-faced children, the marching boots, or the omnipresent misery that ended up driving me under the fence. It was the arrival of a crate of wedding dresses one night with a note from Effie saying that President Snow approved them himself.

The wedding. It wasn't that I was so upset about the wedding, but it reminded me of everything that the Capitol was. They didn't care about all of our food shortages and the beatings of innocent people and dying children. No. They cared about their Star-Crossed Lovers. I couldn't believe that he was really planning to go through with it. What, in his twisted brain, would it achieve? Was it for the benefit of those in the Capitol? A wedding was promised and a wedding would be given. And then he would kill us? As a lesson to the districts? I didn't know. I couldn't make sense of it.

As much as I loved Cato, I was sick of the wedding. Because I knew everything that was attached to it. Because I knew what the Capitol had done to the Districts, what they had done to me, and Cato, and Gale, and Katniss, and now I had to play dress-up for them. They were going to treat me like their little princess while Snow plotted how to slaughter me without facing an uprising. At least my death likely would egg one on. I tossed and turned in bed until I couldn't stand it anymore. I had to get out of here. At least for a few hours. I couldn't wait until the morning.

So I went to Katniss's room and carefully woke her up. "You ready?" I asked her.

She looked tired but nodded anyways. "Sure," she muttered.

"Come on. I've got stuff for us to wear."

The two of us slipped back into my room and stripped off our pajamas. My hands dug around in my closet until I found the insulated winter gear Cinna made for me for recreational use on the Victory Tour. Since he knew how much I loved to be outside. He sweetly made another pair for Katniss to wear. I just asked him to add on another few inches. They were made with waterproof boots, a snowsuit that covered me from head to toe, and thermal gloves. Katniss looked very awkward squirming into them. I loved my old hunting stuff, but the trek that I had in mind today was more suited to the high-tech clothing.

"Ready?" I whispered.

"Let's go," Katniss said.

The two of us tiptoed downstairs, where we loaded our game bag with food, and snuck out of the house. Slinking along side streets and back alleys, we made our way to the weak spot in the fence closest to Rooba the butcher's. Since many workers crossed this way to get to the mines, the snow was pockmarked with footprints. Ours would not be noticed. With all his security upgrades, Thread had paid little attention to the fence, perhaps feeling that harsh weather and wild animals were enough to keep everyone safely inside. Even so, once we were under the chain link, we covered our tracks until the trees concealed them for us.

Our walk was mostly silent. The cameras out in the closer ends of the woods were making me nervous. We could speak when we got to the house. Dawn was just breaking as we retrieved the two sets of bow and arrows. I took two spare knives and packed them into the corners of the waterproof boots. Just in case. I had learned that lesson the hard way. We then began to force a path through the drifted snow in the woods. I was determined, for some reason, to get to the lake. Katniss was just following me. Although she was no fool. She had likely already picked up where we would be going.

In all honesty I wasn't sure why I wanted to come all the way out here. To make the exhausting and freezing trek out to the old concrete house. Maybe it was to say goodbye to the place, to Mr. Everdeen and the happy times we spent there, because I knew that I would probably never return. Maybe it was just so I could draw a complete breath again. Part of me didn't really care if they caught me, if I could see it one more time. Although my fear of Katniss getting caught and hurt kept me very careful on the trip.

The trip took twice as long as usual. Cinna's clothes definitely held in the heat all right, and we both arrived soaked with sweat under the snowsuit while our faces were numb with cold. It made us almost laugh. Cinna had done his job too well. The glare of the winter sun off the snow had played games with my vision, and I was so exhausted and wrapped up in my own hopeless thoughts that I didn't notice the signs. The thin stream of smoke from the chimney, the indentations of recent footprints, and the smell of steaming pine needles. I was literally a few yards from the door of the cement house when I pulled up short.

Katniss must have been exhausted too, because she didn't notice it either. And we were both normally very observant. I didn't stop because of the smoke or the prints or the smell. No. I stopped because of the unmistakable click of a weapon behind me. Second nature. Instinct. Katniss and I both turned, drawing back the arrows, although I knew already that the odds were not in out favor. I saw the white Peacekeeper uniform, the pointed chin, and the light brown iris where my arrow would find a home. But the weapon was dropping to the ground and the unarmed woman was holding something out to me in her gloved hand.

"Stop!" she cried.

It wasn't just me. Katniss wavered too. We were both unable to process that turn in events. Perhaps they had orders to bring me in alive so that they could torture me into incriminating every person I ever knew. _Yeah, good luck with that_. I would much sooner die or let them torture me. No problem. My fingers had all but decided to release the arrow when I saw the object in the glove. It was a small white circle of flat bread. More of a cracker, really. Gray and soggy around the edges. It looked disgusting. But my eyes met it at the same time Katniss's did. An image was clearly stamped in the center of it. It was my Mockingjay.

Not actually releasing the arrow, I loosened my grip on it and motioned for Katniss to do the same. She didn't let the arrow down either, like me, but she relaxed her grip. Until I knew what was going on, I wasn't going to kill the woman. She had to tell me what was going on first. It made no sense. My bird was baked into bread. Why? Unlike the stylish renderings I saw in the Capitol, this was definitely not a fashion statement.

"What is it? What does that mean?" I asked harshly, still prepared to kill.

"It means we're on your side," a tremulous voice said from behind me.

Both Katniss and I whipped around. I didn't see her when I came up. She must have been in the house. By the look in Katniss's eyes I could tell that she didn't see them either. We weren't outnumbered, but we were outgunned. A bullet could kill us immediately. The armor of the Peacekeeper uniform would keep them safe from an arrow. But the head... I could work with that. I didn't take my eyes off my current target. The newcomer was probably armed, but I was betting that she wouldn't risk letting me hear the click that would mean my death was imminent, knowing that I would instantly kill her companion.

And then Katniss would turn and kill her. We could manage this. "Stay facing forward," Katniss whispered.

"Come around where I can see you," I ordered the other woman as Katniss turned to face her.

"She can't, she's -" the woman with the cracker began.

"Come around!" I shouted.

That was all that it took to get the two of them into action. I wanted them to tell me what the hell was going on. Why was my bird baked into bread? There was a step and a dragging sound. Katniss was watching them and I trusted her. More than I trusted myself sometimes. I could hear the effort that the movement required. Another woman, or maybe I should call her a girl since she looked about my age, limped into view. She was dressed in an ill-fitting Peacekeeper's uniform complete with the white fur cloak, but it was several sizes too large for her slight frame.

She carried no visible weapon. Instead her hands were occupied with steadying a rough crutch made from a broken branch. She was injured no doubt. My arrows followed her. The toe of her right boot couldn't clear the snow, hence the dragging. I examined the girl's face, which was bright red from the cold. Her teeth were crooked and there was a strawberry birthmark over one of her chocolate brown eyes. These were no Peacekeepers. No citizens of the Capitol either. Katniss and I exchanged a long look. I knew that we were both thinking about Lavinia.

"Who are you?" I asked warily but less belligerently.

"My name's Twill," the woman said. She was older. Maybe thirty-five or so. "And this is Bonnie. We've run away from District 8."

That time Katniss and I exchanged a much longer look. I almost dropped the bow and arrow. "District 8?" I asked slowly.

They must have known about the uprising. "Yes," Twill said.

"And you've run away?" Katniss asked.

"Yes," Bonnie said.

"Where'd you get the uniforms?" I asked.

"I stole them from the factory." Of course. Textiles. "We make them there. Only I thought this one would be for... for someone else. That's why it fits so poorly," Bonnie said.

They had lost someone. They must have been trying to escape and they had been killed. A man, mostly likely, judging by the size of the clothes. "The gun came from a dead Peacekeeper," Twill said, following where my eyes were.

"That cracker in your hand. With the bird. What's that about?" I asked.

"Don't you know, Aspen?" Bonnie asked.

Bonnie appeared to be genuinely surprised. It was something that genuinely shocked me. They recognized me. I glanced over at Katniss, who still appeared mistrusting of the two women. She had her arrow aimed at them but didn't seem to be quite as defensive as normal. That was when I realized that it made plenty of sense. Of course they recognized me. My face was uncovered and I was standing here outside of District 12, obviously doing something illegal - which everyone had pieced together during the Games - and I was pointing an arrow at them. Who else would I be?

"I didn't realize that everyone knew me," I muttered.

"You're a Victor. Of course everyone knows you. Helps that you were quite a memorable Victor," Bonnie said. I nodded at her blankly.

"And you're Katniss," Twill said, pointing to Katniss.

Katniss looked very confused, but, of course, people would know who she was too. I had volunteered but so had she. The Capitol people knew and loved the Everdeen family. "You don't recognize this?" Bonnie asked, pointing to the bread.

"I know it matches the pin I wore in the arena," I said.

"She doesn't know. Maybe not about any of it," Bonnie said softly.

Suddenly I felt the need to appear on top of things. "I know that things are getting bad in the Districts after the Games. I know that you had an uprising in District 8," I said.

"Yes, that's why we had to get out," Twill said.

Katniss and I exchanged another look. "Well, you're good and out now. What are you going to do?" I asked.

"We're headed for District 13," Twill replied.

This time Katniss and I exchanged a much longer look. District 13 was mostly graphite mining back during the days before the First Rebellion. But it also made our nukes and guns that our nation had. Including the land mines. Like the ones that I had detonated in the Games. The nation wouldn't even have been a nation without District 13 of Panem. But when the uprising had started and the Capitol realized that District 13 had the power to wipe them out, the Capitol had worked first. The Capitol claimed that the District had been uninhabitable ever since, due to the chemical bombs that were dropped on it.

"District 13. Like the graphite miners?" Katniss asked.

"That one," Bonnie said.

"There is no District 13. It got blown off the map," I said.

"Seventy-five years ago," Twill said.

What the hell was that supposed to mean? Bonnie shifted on her crutch and winced. "What's wrong with your leg?" Katniss asked.

"I twisted my ankle. My boots are too big," Bonnie explained.

Uncomfortably I bit down on my lip. My instinct told me that they were telling the truth. And my instincts were usually pretty spot-on. And behind that truth was a whole lot of information that I would like to get. I stepped forward and retrieved Twill's gun before lowering my bow though. I slung mine over my shoulder and kept the gun aimed at them. I'd seen the Peacekeepers use them enough that I was reasonably sure how to use them. Katniss kept her bow aimed at the pair but didn't seem overly fond of shooting either one of them.

Then we both hesitated for a moment. On an exchanged glance I knew that we were both thinking of another day in these woods, when the two of us and Gale watched a hovercraft appear out of thin air and capture two escapees from the Capitol. The boy was speared and killed. The redheaded girl, I found out when I went to the Capitol, was mutilated and turned into a mute servant called an Avox. Lavinia, which I'd found out her name was, at least, alive.

"Anyone after you?" I asked.

All I could think was whether or not a hovercraft would be coming after them, and in turn, us, in a matter of minutes. "We don't think so. We think they believe we were killed in a factory explosion," Twill said.

"Lucky for you," I mumbled.

"Only a fluke that we weren't," Twill explained.

"All right, let's go inside," I said, nodding at the cement house.

Katniss and I followed them in, with me carrying the gun. They didn't seem to mind that I was carrying it. That was probably the reason that they had dropped the gun in the first place. Because they wanted Katniss and I to feel like we could trust them. While we walked back into the concrete house, Bonnie made straight for the hearth and lowered herself onto a Peacekeeper's cloak that had been spread before it. Neither woman looked very good. They both looked exhausted and definitely in a lot of pain. It must have been very hard for the two of them to escape District 8.

Bonnie was holding her hands to the feeble flame that burned on one end of a charred log. Her skin was so pale as to be translucent and I could see the fire glow through her flesh. Twill tried to arrange the cloak, which must have been her own, around the shivering girl. A tin gallon can had been cut in half, the lip ragged and dangerous. It sat in the ashes, filled with a handful of pine needles steaming in water. I leaned down and started helping to build up the fire just a little more. Not quite enough for someone to see, but enough to help out the two women.

"Making tea?" Katniss asked.

"We're not sure, really. I remember seeing someone do this with pine needles on the Hunger Games a few years back. At least, I think it was pine needles," Twill said with a frown.

She was right. Someone had done that five or six years ago. They were from an outlying District and definitely hadn't won the Games. They'd been killed not long after. But it had been an interesting attempt. I remembered District 8, an ugly urban place stinking of industrial fumes, with the people housed in run-down tenements. There was barely a blade of grass in sight. No opportunity, ever, to learn the ways of nature. That was why they had so few Victors, just like District 12. Although ours was because we tended to be weak. It was a miracle these two had made it this far.

"Out of food?" I asked.

Bonnie nodded. "We took what we could, but food's been so scarce. That's been gone for a while," Bonnie said.

The quaver in her voice melted my remaining defenses. She was just a malnourished, injured girl fleeing the Capitol. I could tell that Katniss felt the same way. "We'll help you out," Katniss offered.

"This is your lucky day," I said, dropping my game bag on the floor.

People were starving all over the District and we still had more than enough. So I'd been spreading things around a little. I had my own priorities. Gale's family, Greasy Sae, and some of the other Hob traders who were shut down. Ms. Everdeen had other people, patients mostly, who she wanted to help. This morning I purposely overstuffed my game bag with food, knowing that she would see the depleted pantry and assume that Katniss and I were making our rounds to the hungry. We were actually buying time to go to the lake without her worrying. I had intended to deliver the food this evening on my return, but now I could see that it wouldn't be happening.

Maybe we could do it tomorrow. I didn't want people to keep starving the way that they were. From the bag I pulled two fresh buns with a layer of cheese baked into the top. We always seemed to have a supply of those since Peeta's family had found out that they were my favorite. I tossed one to Twill but crossed over and place the other on Bonnie's lap since her hand-eye coordination seemed to be a little questionable at the moment and I didn't want the thing ending up in the fire.

"Oh. Oh, is this all for me?" Bonnie asked.

It was like a punch to the gut. Something inside of me twisted as I remembered another voice. Rue. Back when we were in the arena. When I gave her the leg of groosling. All I could see was the little girl from District 11. She was so strong and so wonderful. And now, here I was, in front of another woman that reminded me so much of her. Katniss was giving me a long look, clearly understanding where my mind was.

"Oh, I've never had a whole leg to myself before," Bonnie continued.

Another punch to the gut. The disbelief of the chronically hungry. "Yeah, eat up," I said. Bonnie held the bun as if she couldn't quite believe it was real and then sank her teeth into it again and again, unable to stop. "It's better if you chew it."

She nodded, trying to slow down, but I knew how hard it was when you were that hollow. "I think your tea's done," Katniss said.

We glanced over and I nodded at her. She was right. The tea was about done. Not that I really knew how to tell. It was almost impossible to figure out when tea was done unless it was in a kettle. Katniss and I scooted the tin can from the ashes. Twill found two tin cups in her pack and I dipped out the tea, setting it on the floor to cool. They huddled together, eating, blowing on their tea, and taking tiny, scalding sips as I built up the fire. I waited until they are sucking the grease from their fingers to ask what was going on.

"So, what's your story?" I asked.

And so they told us. Ever since the Hunger Games, where I had pulled the moronic stunt with the knives, the discontent in District 8 had been growing. It was always there, of course, to some degree. Just like it was in all of the other Districts. But what differed was that talk was no longer sufficient, and the idea of taking action went from a wish to a reality. My heart was thumping loudly in my chest as they went on through their story. The textile factories that serviced Panem are loud with machinery, and the din also allowed word to pass safely, a pair of lips close to an ear, words unnoticed, unchecked.

Twill taught at school, Bonnie was one of her pupils, and when the final bell had rung, both of them spent a four-hour shift at the factory that specialized in the Peacekeeper uniforms. Which explained where they had gotten their uniforms. It took months for Bonnie, who worked in the chilly inspection dock, to secure the two uniforms, a boot here, and a pair of pants there. They were intended for Twill and her husband because it was understood that, once the uprising began, it would be crucial to get word of it out beyond District 8 if it were to spread and be successful.

The day that Cato and I came through and made our Victory Tour appearance was actually a rehearsal of sorts. People in the crowd positioned themselves according to their teams next to the buildings they would target when the rebellion broke out. That was the plan. To take over the centers of power in the city like the Justice Building, the Peacekeepers' Headquarters, and the Communication Center in the square. And at other locations in the District. The railroad, the granary, the power station, and the armory. I couldn't believe that they were doing it even when we were there.

The night of my engagement, the night Cato fell to his knees and proclaimed his undying love for me in front of the cameras in the Capitol, was the night that the uprising began. It was an ideal cover. Our Victory Tour interview with Caesar Flickerman was mandatory viewing. It gave the people of District 8 a reason to be out on the streets after dark, gathering either in the Town Square or in various community centers around the city to watch. Ordinarily such activity would have been too suspicious. Instead everyone was in place by the appointed hour, eight o'clock, when the masks went on and all hell broke loose.

Taken by surprise and overwhelmed by sheer numbers, the Peacekeepers were initially overcome by the crowds. The Communication Center, the granary, and the power station were all secured by the rebels in District 8. As the Peacekeepers fell, one by one, weapons were appropriated for the rebels. There was hope that this had not been an act of madness, that in some way, if they could get the word out to other Districts, an actual overthrow of the government in the Capitol might be possible. It had almost given me hope, just listening to them.

But then the ax fell. The Capitol wouldn't allow them to overthrow the Capitol like that. Peacekeepers then began to arrive by the thousands. Hovercrafts bombed the rebel strongholds into ashes. In the utter chaos that followed, it was all people could do to make it back to their homes alive. It took less than forty-eight hours to subdue the city. Then, for a week, there was a lock-down. No food, no coal, and everyone was forbidden to leave their homes.

It stunned me that everyone had actually managed it. They had almost managed it. I couldn't believe that they had done everything to try and make a real rebellion. And it could have worked. It almost worked. The only time that the television showed anything but static was when the suspected instigators were hanged in the Town Square. It turned out that there were a number of people that were executed over the uprising. Then one night, as the whole District was on the brink of starvation, came the order to return to business as usual.

I couldn't believe that they had gone back to normal so quickly. But apparently the Capitol wanted no more reminders of what had happened between the citizens of District 8. That meant that there was school for Twill and Bonnie again. A street made impassable by the bombs caused them to be late for their factory shift, so they were still about a hundred yards away when it exploded, killing everyone inside - including Twill's husband and Bonnie's entire family.

"Someone must have told the Capitol that the idea for the uprising had started there," Twill told us faintly.

The two fled back to Twill's, where the Peacekeeper suits were still waiting. They scraped together what provisions they could, stealing freely from neighbors they now knew to be dead, and made it to the railroad station. In a warehouse near the tracks, they changed into the Peacekeeper outfits and, disguised, were able to make it onto a boxcar full of fabric on a train headed to District 6. They fled the train at a fuel stop along the way and traveled on foot. Concealed by woods, but using the tracks for guidance, they made it to the outskirts of District 12 two days ago, where they were forced to stop when Bonnie twisted her ankle.

"I understand why you're running, but what do you expect to find in District 13?" I asked.

Bonnie and Twill exchanged a nervous glance. "We're not sure exactly," Twill said.

"So why try?" Katniss asked.

"Because we can't stay back in District 8," Bonnie said.

"But why District 13? Why not the woods or try escaping Panem? You won't have much luck with District 13. It's nothing but rubble. We've all seen the footage," I said.

"That's just it. They've been using the same footage for as long as anyone in District 8 can remember," Twill said.

"What?" Katniss asked.

"Really?" I asked.

I tried to think back and call up the images of District 13 I had seen on television. There weren't many of them floating around. "You know how they always show the Justice Building?" Twill continued. We both nodded. We had seen it a thousand times. "If you look very carefully, you'll see it. Up in the far right-hand corner."

"See what?" Katniss and I asked.

Twill held out her cracker with the bird again. "A Mockingjay. Just a glimpse of it as it flies by. The same one every time," she said.

"Back home, we think they keep reusing the old footage because the Capitol can't show what's really there now," Bonnie said.

After exchanging a look with Katniss, we both gave laughs and grunts of disbelief. "You're going to District 13 based on that? A shot of a bird? You think you're going to find some new city with people strolling around in it? And that's just fine with the Capitol?" I asked, a little too harshly.

"Nothing is out there," Katniss said.

"No. We think the people moved underground when everything on the surface was destroyed. We think they've managed to survive. And we think the Capitol leaves them alone because, before the Dark Days, District 13's principal industry was nuclear development," Twill said earnestly.

"The Capitol is afraid that Thirteen could bomb them at any time," I whispered, realizing what they meant.

But Katniss wasn't as easily convinced as me. "They were graphite miners," she said.

But then she hesitated, because that was information that she got from the Capitol. All I could remember was the flags of the Districts that I saw in the Capitol. There was even a flag from District 13. There were two graphite cubes but inside was scientific mumbo jumbo that I didn't understand. Which made total sense for nuclear science. The whole thing made total sense. They designed the weapons for the Capitol and had ten times the amount that the Capitol did. That was why they were destroyed first. Because they had the potential to destroy the Capitol.

"They had a few small mines, yes. But not enough to justify a population of that size. That, I guess, is the only thing we know for sure," Twill said.

My heart was beating too quickly. As I glanced at Katniss I knew that she was thinking the exact same thing that I was. What if they were actually right? Could it be true? Could there be somewhere to run besides the wilderness? Somewhere safe? If a community exists in District 13, would it be better to go there, where I might be able to accomplish something, instead of waiting here for my death? They could help us start the uprising. They could destroy the Capitol once and for all. But then... if there were people in District 13, with powerful weapons...

"Why haven't they helped us? If it's true, why do they leave us to live like this? With the hunger and the killings and the Games?" I asked angrily.

Maybe there was a chance that they didn't know. But I had to believe that they did know about what was going on in the Capitol. They would have been watching from afar. They would know what was happening. And they hadn't even dared to help us with all of those weapons that they had. And suddenly I hated this imaginary underground city of District 13 and those who sat by, watching us die. They were no better than the Capitol if they didn't help.

"We don't know. Right now, we're just holding on to the hope that they exist," Bonnie said.

That snapped me to my senses. Everything that they were thinking were just delusions. District 13 didn't exist because the Capitol would never let it exist. The Capitol could easily drop a few bombs if it were an underground society and starve them out or just kill them all straight away. There was no way that the Capitol could have ever let District 13 survive. They were probably mistaken about the footage. Mockingjay's were about as rare as rocks. And about as tough. If they could survive the initial bombing of District 13, they were probably doing better than ever now.

They were living a pipe dream. Just like the rest of us. Bonnie had no home. Her family was dead by now. Returning to District 8 or assimilating into another District would be impossible. Relocating was illegal with the exception of Capitol-sanctioned moves. Like Cinna's parents to the Capitol or me, eventually, to District 2. Of course the idea of an independent, thriving District 13 would draw her. I couldn't bring myself to tell her that she was chasing a dream as insubstantial as a wisp of smoke. Perhaps she and Twill could carve out a life somehow in the woods. I doubted it, but they were so pitiful that I had to try to help.

Luckily Katniss felt the same as we started to help the women. We had to help them figure out for what promised to be a very hard and short life. First we gave them all of the food in my pack, grain and dried beans mostly, but there was enough to hold them for a while if they were careful. Maybe enough time to get to District 13 if it really existed. Definitely enough to last them at least two weeks. It was about the amount that I'd had to eat during my time in the Games. Then Katniss and I took Twill out in the woods and tried to explain the basics of hunting. It wasn't easy.

She had a weapon that if necessary could convert solar energy into deadly rays of power, so that could last them indefinitely. When she managed to kill her first squirrel, the poor thing was mostly a charred mess because it took a direct hit to the body. We told them that they would have to learn head shots. But we showed her how to skin and clean it. With some practice, she would figure it out. We cut a new crutch for Bonnie too. Back at the house, I peeled off an extra layer of socks for the girl, telling her to stuff them in the toes of her boots to walk, then wear them on her feet at night. Finally we taught them how to build a proper fire.

They would have a pretty miserable life but it would keep them healthy for long enough. Long enough to get far away from here. They begged the two of us for details of the situation in District 12 and we decided to tell them about life under Thread. They didn't seem horrified. It must have been just as bad in District 8. But I could see that they thought it was important information that they would be bringing to those who ran District 13, and we played along so as not to destroy their hopes. But when the light signaled late afternoon, I knew that we were out of time to humor them.

"We have to go now," I said.

They poured out thanks and embraced me. Much longer than they did Katniss, although they were happy to see her too. Tears spilled from Bonnie's eyes. "I can't believe we actually got to meet you. You're practically all anyone's talked about since -"

"I know. I know. Since I pulled out those knives," I said tiredly.

They gave us another few hugs before we pointed them towards the ruins of what was once District 13. Then Katniss and I turned back towards District 12 before anyone could realize that we'd escaped out from the fence, something that definitely wouldn't go over well. I hardly noticed the walk back home even though a wet snow had begun to fall. My mind was spinning with the new information about the uprising in District 8 and the unlikely but tantalizing possibility of District 13.

Listening to Bonnie and Twill confirmed one thing. President Snow had been playing me for a fool. All the kisses and endearments in the world couldn't have derailed the momentum building up in District 8. Yes, my holding out the knives had been the spark, but I had no way to control the fire. He must have known that. So why visit my home, why order me to persuade the crowd of my love for Cato? It was obviously a ploy to distract me and keep me from doing anything else inflammatory in the Districts. And to entertain the people in the Capitol, of course. I supposed the wedding was just a necessary extension of that.

How could I have been so stupid the entire time? I should have realized that Snow was just making me look like a moron. I could have done a number of things while we had been traveling around. But I had been afraid and busy thinking of other things. Idiot. I was such an idiot. We were nearing the fence when a Mockingjay landed on a branch and trilled at us. At the sight of it I realized that I never got a full explanation of the bird on the cracker and what it signified.

 _It means we're on your side_. That was what Bonnie had said. I had people on my side? What side? I wasn't on a side. The only side that I wanted to be on was the side that kept my family and friends safe. But apparently it was much more than that. Was I unwittingly the face of the hoped-for rebellion? Had the Mockingjay on my pin become a symbol of resistance? If so, my side was not doing too well. You only had to look at what happened in District 8 to know that. And I hadn't even bothered to try and work with my side, because I didn't even know that I had a side.

Katniss and I stashed our weapons in the hollow log nearest my old home in the Seam and headed for the fence. Katniss and I were both staring sideways at each other as we moved around. I couldn't believe what was happening. District 13, the uprisings in the Districts, and my mind was still on the wedding. There was too much on my mind these days. I was crouched down on one knee, preparing to enter the Meadow, but I was still so preoccupied with the day's events that it took a sudden screech of an owl to bring me to my senses.

I glanced back at Katniss. "Do you think it could be true? District 13?" I asked.

She shook her head. "No way."

"Why not?"

"Because it's the Capitol. Do you really think that they would let District 13 walk away unharmed?"

"But they weren't unharmed. Not really. Not in the way that we all thought. We were thinking that District 13 was destroyed by the bombs that the Capitol sent in. But what if they just went underground? What if they struck a deal with President Snow? What if President Snow wasn't fool enough to realize that he couldn't beat them? With all of the weapons that they had, they could have destroyed the Capitol easily. But they didn't. Because maybe they're being left in peace," I said.

"It just doesn't make sense. Maybe Snow left them alone for a while but he wouldn't risk it. He would have killed them eventually," Katniss reasoned.

"But it would be nice to believe that something was out there."

"Maybe... But there's not much faith in the world these days," Katniss said.

Just as I was about to open my moth and tell her that she was wrong, that there was faith in the world, I realized that something was very wrong. In the fading light of the day, the chain links looked as innocuous as usual. But what made me jerk back my hand from pulling the chain apart so that I could drop underneath it was the sound, like the buzz of a tree full of Tracker Jacker nests, indicating that the fence was alive with electricity.

Grabbing Katniss by the shoulders, I threw her back. "Stop. The fence. It's on," I said breathlessly.

"What?" Katniss asked, horrified.

"It's on. Get back."

Our feet backed up automatically and the two of us blended into the trees. I covered my mouth with my glove to disperse the white of my breath in the icy air. Adrenaline coursed through me, wiping all the concerns of the day from my mind as I focused on the immediate threat before us. What was going on? Had Thread turned on the fence as an additional security precaution? Or did he somehow know that I had escaped his net today? Was he determined to strand me outside District 12 until he could apprehend and arrest me? Drag me to the Square to be locked in the stockade or whipped or hanged?

 _Calm down_. It wasn't as if this was the first time that we had been caught outside of the District by an electrified fence. It had happened a few times over the years, but Gale was always with us. The two of us would just pick a comfortable tree to hang out in until the power shut off, which it always did eventually. If we were running late, Prim even got in the habit of going to the Meadow to check if the fence was charged, to spare Ms. Everdeen the worry.

But today we had a much bigger problem. Our family would never imagine that we would be in the woods. We had even taken steps to mislead them. So if we didn't show up, worry they would. And there was a part of me that was worried, too, because I wasn't sure that it was just a coincidence, the power coming on the very day that we returned to the woods. This was a very bad thing. If we were caught out here we would be killed for sure.

I could have sworn that no one saw us sneak under the fence, but who knew? There were always eyes for hire. Someone reported Gale kissing me in that very spot. Still, that was in daylight and before I was more careful about my behavior. Could there be surveillance cameras? I had wondered about that before. Was this the way that President Snow knew about the kiss? It was dark when I went under and my face was bundled in a scarf. But the list of suspects likely to be trespassing into the woods was probably very short, and I was definitely at the top.

My eyes peered through the trees, past the fence, and into the Meadow. We had to get out of here before the sun completely dipped underneath the horizon. All I could see was the wet snow illuminated here and there by the light from the windows on the edge of the Seam. The people out there would be of no help. The only good thing was that there were no Peacekeepers in sight either, which meant no signs that I was being hunted. Whether Thread knew I left the District today or not, I realized my course of action had to be the same. To get back inside the fence unseen and pretend I never left.

And I had to help out Katniss. There was no way that she could get hurt because of my being an idiot. I couldn't hurt her. Not because of my stupid idea to come out into the woods. Any contact with the chain link or the coils of barbed wire that guarded the top would mean instant electrocution. We would die before we even felt it. I didn't think that I could burrow under the fence either without risking detection, and the ground was frozen hard, anyway. That left only one choice. Somehow we were going to have to go over it.

"Cat," I muttered.

"What do we do? Wait it out?" she asked.

"We don't know how long it'll be out. Thread seems to want everything the way it should be, which means a permanently electrified fence. And no one knows that we're out here. People will start getting worried. Plus we can't have the Peacekeepers looking for us. We'll be killed," I whispered fearfully.

"Can we go under?"

"We can't burrow far enough to risk not getting hit. Ground's too hard anyways."

"What about over?"

"That's the only option," I whispered.

"Pick a tree and jump?" Katniss offered.

"That's the only way that it would work. We'll just have to brace for the impact. I dropped about twenty feet in the training room before the Games but that was on solid ground with good shoes and I wasn't freaked out. The ice is going to make it hard," I said.

"We shouldn't wait. Should we?"

"No. We don't know when the power will come back on. We have to find a tree and jump," I said weakly.

"Okay."

Obviously she was scared too. But it was the only option that we had. The two of us began to skirt along the tree line, searching for a tree with a branch high and long enough to fit our needs. After about a mile of traipsing along the fence, we came upon an old maple that might do. The trunk was too wide and icy to shimmy up though, and there were no low branches. So we climbed a neighboring tree and leaped precariously into the maple. I went first and almost lost my hold on the slick bark, coming very close to making a clumsy fall that would paralyze me.

"Aspen!" Katniss hissed.

"I'm good. I'm good. Jump, Cat. I got you," I said.

She stepped back on the branch before leaping herself. She was very close to falling but I managed to grab her arms and yank her up onto the branch with me. We stood as close as we could together to make sure that we wouldn't go plummeting off of the branch. But we thankfully managed to get a grip and slowly inch our way out onto a limb that hung above the barbed wire. We were holding each other's hands to make sure that we didn't fall.

But this definitely wasn't something that I had been anticipating. This was nothing like the jump in the training center. Not with the landing, at least. As I looked down, I remembered why Gale, Katniss, and I always waited in the woods rather than trying to tackle the fence. Because it was much safer just to wait out the normally only few hour gaps in electricity. Being high enough to avoid getting fried meant that you had to be at least twenty feet in the air. I guessed that our branch must have been at least twenty-five. At least it wasn't like the fifty foot drops in the arena that had nearly killed me.

We could make it. I knew that we could. But there was still a trickle of fear in the back of my mind. That was a dangerously long drop, even for two people who had had years of practice up in the trees. But what choice did we have? We could look for another branch, but it was almost dark now. The falling snow would obscure any moonlight. Here, at least, we could see that we had a snowbank to cushion our landing. Even if we could find another, which was doubtful, who knew what we would be jumping into? I threw my empty game bag around my neck and slowly lowered myself until I was hanging by my hands.

Katniss followed me down a moment later. "On three?" I asked her, painfully reminded of the moment that had gotten us into this predicament in the first place.

"Yeah. One..." Katniss counted.

"Two."

"Three," we said together.

For a moment, we gathered our courage. Then I released my fingers. We both dropped out of the air. There was the sensation of falling and then I hit the ground with a jolt that went right up my spine. While Katniss flopped onto her rear, I rolled forward and tucked over myself at least three times before splaying out. I laid in the snow, trying to assess the damage. Without standing, I could tell by the pain in my right leg that I was injured. The only question was how badly. I was hoping for bruises, but when I forced myself onto my feet, I suspected that I had broken something as well.

"Cat. Cat. You okay?"

"I broke something," she groaned.

"Me too. Maybe my leg," I groaned.

"Something in my heel. Tailbone's bad too," Katniss said.

"My head is spinning. I think I might have a concussion," I said, feeling very dizzy from the sprawling.

"We have to get home," Katniss said.

"I know. Can you walk?"

"With a limp. You?"

"It hurts but I'll manage. I've had worse," I grit out.

So the two of us walked towards town, hiding our limps as best we could. Ms. Everdeen and Prim couldn't know that we were in the woods. I needed to work up some sort of alibi, no matter how thin. Some of the shops in the Square were still open, so we went in one and purchased white cloth for bandages. We were running low, anyway. In another, we bought a bag of sweets for Prim. Something to make sure that no one questioned us. Once they had food they would be quiet and keep the questioning of our whereabouts to a minimum.

"Ready to get home?" I asked.

"Ready to get a new foot," Katniss said.

We both snorted as we tried to head back towards the house. We had been gone for most of the day. We both stuck some of the candies in our mouths, feeling the peppermint melt on my tongue, and I realized that it was the first thing that I had eaten all day. Now I realized just how hungry I was. I meant to make a meal at the lake, but once I saw Twill and Bonnie's condition, it seemed wrong to take a single mouthful from them.

By the time we reached our house, my left leg could bear no weight at all. It was almost impossible to walk. So Katniss and I wrapped our arms around each other and feigned just being cold so that we could walk with each other's support. We decided to tell Ms. Everdeen that we were trying to mend a leak in the roof of my old house and slid off. It would make perfect sense as it was about the same height of the tree branch. As for the missing food, we would just be vague about who we handed it out to. We dragged ourselves in the door, all ready to collapse in front of the fire. But instead we got another shock.

Two Peacekeepers, a man and a woman, were standing in the doorway to our kitchen. The woman remained impassive, but I caught the flicker of surprise on the man's face. I was unanticipated. They knew that we were in the woods and should have still been trapped there now. Katniss and I released each other and feigned just trying to warm ourselves up, pretending that we weren't injured. Nothing for them to know that we really had been in the woods.

"Hello," I said in a neutral voice.

"Hi," Katniss added.

Ms. Everdeen appeared behind them, but kept her distance. "Here they are, just in time for dinner," she said a little too brightly.

Of course. As we glanced over at the clock I realized just how late we were. It was over two hours after when we normally would have been having dinner. They were probably getting very concerned by now. We were very late for dinner and for whatever the Peacekeepers wanted. I considered removing my boots as I normally would have but doubted that I could manage it without revealing my injuries. Instead I just pulled off my wet hood and shook the snow from my hair. Katniss followed my motions.

"Can I help you with something?" I asked the Peacekeepers.

"Head Peacekeeper Thread sent us with a message for you," the woman said.

"They've been waiting for hours," Ms. Everdeen added.

Now that wasn't quite true. They likely couldn't have cared less about what happened to Katniss. She just would have been another person that they could have executed in the Town Square. No. It was me that they were waiting for. They had been waiting for me to fail to return. To confirm that I got electrocuted by the fence or trapped in the woods so that they could take my family in for questioning. Thankfully that didn't happen.

"Must be an important message," I said.

"May we ask where you've been, Miss Antaeus?" the woman asked.

"Easier to ask where I haven't been," I said with a sound of exasperation.

Trying to look nonchalant about the entire thing, I crossed into the kitchen, forcing myself to use my foot normally even though every step was excruciating. I passed between the Peacekeepers and made it to the table all right. Katniss flopped down onto the couch and I saw the relief in her eyes. I flung my bag down and turned to Prim, who was standing stiffly by the hearth. Haymitch was there too, sitting in the pair of matching rockers, playing a game of chess with himself. Was he here by chance or 'invited' by the Peacekeepers? Either way, I was glad to see him.

"So where haven't you been?" Haymitch asked in a bored voice.

"Well, I haven't been talking to the Goat Man about getting Prim's goat pregnant, because someone gave me completely inaccurate information as to where he lives," I said to Prim emphatically.

"No, I didn't. I told you exactly," Prim said.

"You said he lives beside the west entrance to the mine," I said.

"The east entrance," Prim corrected me.

"No. You said west," Katniss added, playing into the game.

"You distinctly said the west, because then I said, 'Next to the slag heap?' and you said, 'Yeah,'" I said.

"The slag heap next to the east entrance," Prim said patiently.

"No. When did you say that?" I demanded.

"Last night," Haymitch chimed in.

"It was definitely the east," Ms. Everdeen added. She looked at Haymitch and they laughed. I glared at Ms. Everdeen and she tried to look contrite. "I'm sorry, but it's what I've been saying. You don't listen when people talk to you."

"Bet people told you he didn't live there today and you didn't listen again," Haymitch said.

"Shut up, Haymitch," I said, clearly indicating he was right. Haymitch and Ms. Everdeen cracked up and Prim and Katniss allowed themselves a smile. "Fine. Somebody else can arrange to get the stupid goat knocked up."

That just made them laugh even more. That is why exactly why they had made it so far, Haymitch and Ms. Everdeen. Nothing threw them. I looked at the Peacekeepers. The man was smiling but the woman was unconvinced. "What's in the bag?" she asked sharply.

Obviously she was hoping for game or wild plants. Something that clearly condemned me. I dumped the contents on the table. "See for yourself," I said.

"Oh, good," Ms. Everdeen said, examining the cloth. "We're running low on bandages."

Prim came to the table and opened the candy bag. "Ooh, peppermints," she said happily, popping one in her mouth.

"They're mine." I tried to take a swipe for the bag. But Prim tossed it to Haymitch, who stuffed a fistful of sweets in his mouth before passing the bag to a giggling Katniss. "None of you deserves candy!" I cried.

"What, because we're right?" Katniss asked, wrapping an arm around me. We both gave a small yelps of pain as her tailbone objected and my hip - which I banged pretty hard in the fall - rubbed together. We tried to turn it into sounds of indignation, but I could see in their eyes that they knew I was hurt. "Okay, Prim said west. I distinctly heard west. And we're all idiots. How's that?"

"Better," I said, accepting her hug. Then I looked at the Peacekeepers as if I was suddenly remembering that they were there. "You have a message for me?"

"From Head Peacekeeper Thread. He wanted you to know that the fence surrounding District Twelve will now have electricity twenty-four hours a day," the woman said.

"Didn't it already?" I asked, a little too innocently.

"He thought you might be interested in passing this information on to your cousin," the woman said.

"Thank you. I'll tell him. I'm sure we'll all sleep a little more soundly now that security has addressed that lapse."

That was not a wise thing for me to say. I was pushing things, I knew it, but the comment gave me a sense of satisfaction. As stupid as it might have been. The woman's jaw tightened. None of this had gone as planned, but she had no further orders and nothing further for me to be condemned with. She gave me a curt nod and left, the man trailing in her wake. When Ms. Everdeen had locked the door behind them, we slumped against the table.

"What is it?" Haymitch asked, holding me steadily.

"Oh, we got a little banged up. I banged up my left leg, hip, and my head. Katniss banged up her left foot. The heel. And her tailbone's had a bad day, too," I explained.

Haymitch helped us over to one of the rockers and we lowered ourselves onto the padded cushions. Ms. Everdeen eased off our boots. "What happened?" she asked.

"We slipped and fell," I said. Three pairs of eyes looked at us with disbelief. "On some ice."

Obviously no one believed us. I wouldn't have believed us either. We were seasoned hunters who practically never found ourselves getting injured. But now it made perfect sense that we were. They knew that we had done something stupid and illegal. But no one was going to ask us about what had happened. We all knew that the house must have been bugged and it wasn't safe to talk openly. Not here and not now. Having stripped off my socks, Ms. Everdeen started poking us over. Her fingers probed at the bones in my left ankle first.

"Might be a break there." She checked the other leg. "This one is fine. Your hip is just bruised and we'll keep you sleeping tonight if there's a concussion. No other damage," Ms. Everdeen concluded.

"Good," I muttered.

Then she looked over Katniss. Her fingers probed the bones in her left heel and she winced. "There might be a break," she said. She then checked the other foot. "This one seems all right."

She judged Katniss's tailbone to be badly bruised. Prim was dispatched to get our pajamas and robes. When we were changed, Ms. Everdeen made a snow pack for Katniss's left heel and my ankle and propped it up on a hassock. We both ate three bowls of stew each and half a loaf of bread while the others dined at the table. I stared at the fire, thinking of Bonnie and Twill, hoping that the heavy, wet snow had erased my tracks. Prim came and sat on the floor next to us, leaning her head against my knee. We sucked on peppermints as I brushed her soft blond hair back behind her ear.

"How was school?" I asked.

Katniss had essentially dropped out. She rarely went these days. "All right. We learned about coal by-products," she said.

"Sounds fascinating," I said.

We stared at the fire for a while. "Are you going to try on your wedding dresses?" Prim asked.

"Not tonight. Tomorrow probably," I said.

"Enjoy that," Katniss snorted.

"Shut up."

"Wait until I get home, okay?" Prim asked.

"Sure."

That was if they didn't arrest me first. And I really wasn't in the mood to try on wedding dresses. Not with everything that was happening. There were so many other important things that I could be doing, rather than trying on wedding dresses that would probably be stupid anyways. Since, of course, I wouldn't get my own opinion on what I wanted to wear. Not a sundress, like I would have worn in District 12 normally. Ms. Everdeen gave me a cup of chamomile tea with a dose of sleep syrup, and my eyelids began to droop immediately. She wrapped my bad foot, and then Gale appeared. He was doing much better since the whipping.

After realizing what had happened, he immediately volunteered to get Katniss and me to bed. He brought Katniss up before coming back for me. I started out by leaning on his shoulder, but I was so wobbly that he just scooped me up and carried me upstairs. He tucked me in and said good night but I caught his hand and held him there. A side effect of the sleep syrup was that it made people less inhibited, like white liquor. I would have to control my tongue. But I didn't want him to go. In fact, I wanted him to climb in and be there when the nightmares hit tonight. For some reason that I couldn't quite form, I knew that I wasn't allowed to ask that.

"Don't go yet. Not until I fall asleep," I said groggily.

"You sure?" he asked.

"Yeah."

Gale sat on the side of the bed, warming my hand in both of his. "Almost thought you'd changed your mind today. When you were late for dinner," Gale said.

I was foggy but I could guess what he meant. With the fence going on and me showing up late and the Peacekeepers waiting, he thought that I'd made a run for it, maybe with Katniss. "No, I'd have told you," I said.

My head was spinning but I managed to look up and smile weakly at him. I was glad that he didn't hate me after all. I pulled his hand up and leaned my cheek against the back of it, taking in the faint scent of the mines that he must have been working in today. I wanted to tell him about Twill and Bonnie and the uprising and the fantasy of District 13, but it wasn't safe to right here and I could feel myself slipping away, so I just got out one more sentence.

"Stay with me."

As the tendrils of sleep syrup pulled me down, I heard him whisper a word back, but I didn't quite catch it. And that was alright. Because maybe I didn't want to hear it. Just in case. Ms. Everdeen let me sleep until noon, then roused me to examine my ankle. She was doing the same thing with Katniss. I was ordered to a week of bed rest - just like she was - but this time I didn't object because I was feeling so lousy. Not just my ankle and hip, although my head was feeling better. My whole body was aching with exhaustion.

So I let Ms. Everdeen doctor me and feed me breakfast in bed and tuck another quilt around me. It had been a long time since she had done something like that. Then I just laid there, staring out my window at the winter sky, pondering how on earth this would all turn out. I spent a lot of time thinking about Bonnie and Twill, and the pile of white wedding dresses downstairs, and if Thread would figure out how I got back in and arrest me. It was funny, because he could just arrest me, anyway, based on past crimes, but maybe he had to have something really irrefutable to do it, now that I was a Victor.

And I wondered if President Snow was in contact with Thread. I thought that it was unlikely he ever acknowledged that old Cray existed, but now that I was such a nationwide problem, was he carefully instructing Thread on what to do? Or was Thread acting on his own? At any rate, I was sure that they would both agree on keeping me locked up here inside the District with that fence. Even if I could figure out some way to escape - maybe get a rope up to that maple tree branch and climb out - there would be no escaping with my family and friends now. I told Gale I would stay and fight, anyways.

For the next few days, I jumped every time there was a knock on the door. No Peacekeepers showed up to arrest me, though, so eventually I began to relax. I was further reassured when Prim casually told me that the power was off in sections of the fence because crews were out securing the base of the chain link to the ground. Thread must have believed that I somehow got under the thing, even with that deadly current running through it. It was a break for the District, having the Peacekeepers busy doing something besides abusing people.

As the days passed and there wasn't much that I could do, I settled with just enjoying myself around my family and friends. Haymitch would come by, we would exchange a few insults, and then he would leave me with a bitter smile on my face. I did like him as much as I said that I didn't. Prim, Katniss, and I liked to chat frequently and Ms. Everdeen would come to check on me. Gale came by from time to time but he was still extremely busy in the mines. Sometimes Cato would call for a few minutes just to check on how things were here and I would occasionally chat with Carrie or Dean.

Peeta's older brother, Rye - who I had become very close to after Peeta's death - came by every day to bring me cheese buns and began to help me work on the family book. He was just as good of an artist as Peeta was. Plus I didn't completely hate him since he was too old to volunteer for Peeta. It was his younger brother that could have still volunteered. The family book was an old thing, made of parchment and leather. Some herbalist on Ms. Everdeen's side of the family had started it ages ago. The book was composed of page after page of ink drawings of plants with descriptions of their medical uses.

Mr. Everdeen added a section on edible plants that was my guidebook to keeping us alive after his death. For a long time, I had wanted to record my own knowledge in it. Things that I had learned from experience or from Gale, and then the information I picked up when I was training for the Games. I didn't because I was no artist and it was so crucial that the pictures were drawn in exact detail. That was where Rye came in. Some of the plants he knew already, others we had dried samples of, and others I had to describe. He made sketches on scrap paper until I was satisfied that they were right, then I let him draw them in the book. After that, I carefully printed all I knew about the plant.

It was quiet, absorbing work that helped take my mind off of my troubles. I liked to watch his hands as he worked, making a blank page bloom with strokes of ink, adding touches of color to our previously black and yellowish book. His face took on a special look when he concentrates. His usual easy expression was replaced by something more intense and removed that suggested an entire world locked away inside of him. When I was looking at him one day I found myself almost entranced by him. Rye and I didn't always talk but I did notice that he looked just like him.

One afternoon Rye stopped shading a blossom and looked up so suddenly that I started, as though I was caught spying on him, which in a strange way maybe I was. But he only said, "You know, I think this is the first time we've ever done anything normal together."

"Yeah," I agreed. Our whole relationship was brought on by the Games. Normal was never a part of it. "Nice for a change."

Each afternoon either he or Gale would carry me downstairs for a change of scenery and I unnerved everyone by turning on the television. Usually we only watched when it was mandatory, because the mixture of propaganda and displays of the Capitol's power - including clips from seventy-four years of Hunger Games - was so odious. But now I was looking for something special. The Mockingjay that Bonnie and Twill were basing all their hopes on. I knew that it was probably foolishness, but if it was, I wanted to rule it out. And erase the idea of a thriving District 13 from my mind for good.

It took a long time but I finally managed to find what I was looking for. My first sighting ended up being in a news story referencing the Dark Days. I could see the smoldering remains of the Justice Building in District 13 and just managed to catch the black-and-white underside of a Mockingjay's wing as it flew across the upper right-hand corner. That didn't prove anything, really. It was just an old shot that went with an old tale.

However, several days later, something else grabbed my attention. The main newscaster was reading a piece about a shortage of graphite affecting the manufacturing of items in District 3. They cut to what was supposed to be live footage of a female reporter, encased in a protective suit, standing in front of the ruins of the Justice Building in 13. Through her mask, she reported that unfortunately a study had just today determined that the mines of District 13 were still too toxic to approach. End of story. Not to be surprising, as it always was.

But just before they cut back to the main newscaster, I saw the unmistakable flash of that same Mockingjay's wing. The reporter had simply been incorporated into the old footage. Bonnie and Twill were right. She wasn't in District 13 at all. Which begged the question, what was?

Staying quietly in bed was much harder after that. I wanted to be doing something, finding out more about District 13 or helping in the cause to bring down the Capitol. But I knew that I would only be making things worse. Instead I sat around stuffing myself with cheese buns and watching Rye sketch with Katniss. She had become a little fond of him too. Haymitch stopped by occasionally to bring me news from town, which was always bad. More people being punished or dropping from starvation.

Winter had begun to withdraw by the time my ankle was deemed usable. Which was too bad, because I really did like having the snow piling up in the District. Ms. Everdeen gave Katniss and me exercises to do and let us walk around on our own for a bit. I went down to sleep one night, determined to go into town the next morning, but I awoke to find Venia, Octavia, and Flavius grinning down at me. I very nearly jumped up and hit them, they had startled me so badly.

"Surprise! We're here early!" they squealed.

"Hi, guys," I said tiredly.

After I took that lash and punch in the face, Haymitch got their visit pushed back several months so that I could heal up. I still wasn't expecting them for another three weeks. But I tried to act delighted that my bridal photo shoot was here at last. There was only one good thing. Cato would be here. Not for long. But he would come just to take pictures with me. He had his own suits to try on, although it was my dresses that everyone would be thrilled with. Ms. Everdeen hung up all of the dresses, so they were ready to go, but to be honest, I hadn't even tried one on.

After the usual histrionics about the deteriorated state of my beauty, which was apparently even worse now that I was all marked up again, they got right down to business. Their biggest concern was my face, although I though that Ms. Everdeen did a pretty remarkable job of healing it. There was just a pale pink strip across my cheekbone. The whipping wasn't common knowledge, so I told them that I slipped on the ice and cut it. And then I realized that was my same excuse for hurting my ankle, which was going to make walking in high heels a problem. But Flavius, Octavia, and Venia weren't the suspicious types, so I was safe there.

Since I only had to look hairless for a few hours instead of several weeks, I got to be shaved instead of waxed. That definitely made me happier. I still had to soak in a tub of something, but it wasn't vile, and we were on to my hair and makeup before I knew it. The team, as usual, was full of news, which I usually did my best to tune out. But then Octavia made a comment that caught my attention. It was a passing remark, really, about how she couldn't get shrimp for a party, but it tugged at me.

"Why couldn't you get shrimp? Is it out of season?" I asked.

"Oh, Aspen, we haven't been able to get any seafood for weeks! You know, because the weather's been so bad in District 4," Octavia said.

My mind started to buzz. No seafood. For weeks. From District 4. The barely concealed rage in the crowd during the Victory Tour flashed through my mind. I'd been busy with Finnick while we were there but I had noticed that way that the crowd was looking. And suddenly I was absolutely sure that District 4 had revolted. I began to question them casually about what other hardships this nasty winter had brought them.

They were not used to wanting anything, so any little disruption in supply made an impact on them. Which was good, because I needed to know. By the time that I was ready to be dressed, their complaints about the difficulty of getting different products - from crab meat to music chips to ribbons - had given me a sense of which Districts might actually be rebelling. Seafood from District 4. Electronic gadgets from District 3. And, of course, fabrics from District 8.

"Cat!" I shouted.

"What's up?" she called back.

"Can you bring me the phone?"

She looked very surprised but brought it to me anyways. She gave it to me and I quickly dialed Finnick's number. It rang a few times before he answered. "Hello?"

"Finnick. It's Aspen," I said.

"Aspen. Good to hear from you," Finnick said.

The two of us exchanged idle chitchat for a few minutes as the team assembled my outfits. I knew that I wouldn't have much time so I got to the point. "How's the weather?" I asked. _Are you rebelling_?

"Pretty terrible actually, but getting better." _Yes. The uprising is working_.

"Here's hoping it continues that way." _Keep fighting._

"Oh. I'm sure that it will." _I will._ "I hear you have a photo shoot to get to."

"I do. I have to go now. But I'll be seeing you soon enough," I said.

"Wonderful. I'll see you soon, Aspen."

The thought of such widespread rebellion had me quivering with fear and excitement as I placed the phone down on the counter again. I wanted to ask them more, but Cinna appeared to give me a hug and check my makeup. His attention went right to the scar on my cheek. Somehow I didn't think that he believed the slipping-on-the-ice story, but he didn't question it. He simply adjusted the powder on my face, and what little you could see of the lash mark vanished.

Not long afterwards Cato appeared. We barely got a minute to see each other. "Cato!" I cried excitably, breaking through the bustle of people.

"Aspen," he chuckled, catching me. "Are you limping?"

"Slipping on ice the other week. Broke my ankle," I explained.

"Is that so?"

The two of us moved forward and exchanged a long kiss. In between them, as the team looked away to give us a moment's privacy, I leaned into Cato. "Got trapped outside the fence. It was electrified. Took a twenty-five foot fall from a tree to escape. I'm fine. No one knows," I explained.

"You need to stop being so clumsy," Cato teased, flicking me on the nose.

It would have been very hard to miss the warning note in his voice. We didn't get a chance to speak much more after that. We were both ushered off. Downstairs the living room had been cleared and lit for the photo shoot. My family had been ordered out. Effie was having a fine time ordering everybody around and keeping us all on schedule. It was probably a good thing, because there were six gowns and each one required its own headpiece, shoes, jewelry, hair, makeup, setting, and lighting.

Creamy lace and pink roses and ringlets. Ivory satin and gold tattoos and greenery. A sheath of diamonds and jeweled veil and moonlight. Heavy white silk and sleeves that fell from my wrist to the floor, and pearls. Cato was dressed in his own differing suits and each time a photograph was taken, with the two of us standing chest-to-chest kissing, him with his arms wrapped around me, or me propped up in his arms, we were rearranged. We could barely even speak to each other. I was exhausted after the first dress already. I had a much longer process to change scenes than Cato did.

The moment one shot had been approved, we moved right into preparing for the next. I felt like dough, being kneaded and reshaped again and again. Ms. Everdeen managed to feed me bits of food and sips of tea while they worked on me, but by the time the shoot is over, I was starving and exhausted. I was hoping to spend some time with Cinna and Cato now, but Effie whisked everybody out the door and I only got to exchange one long kiss with Cato with the promise of more phone calls and letters. As per usual, he never even got the chance to meet my family. Perhaps they would meet at the wedding.

By the time that everyone had left, evening has fallen and my ankle hurt from all the crazy shoes, so I abandoned any thoughts of going into town. Plus it was practically dark and I wasn't really fond of being shot on sight. Instead I went upstairs and washed away the layers of makeup and conditioners and dyes and then went to dry my hair by the fire. All the while I was griping about barely exchanging fifty words with Cato. The entire family had seen him and I'd noticed Prim smiling when we exchanged our kisses. She had come home from school in time to see the last two dresses and chattered on about them with Ms. Everdeen.

They both seemed overly happy about the photo shoot. Katniss complained that even she thought that it was unfair that I only saw Cato for a few minutes before he was whisked back to District 2. We both thought that it was rather unfair that he had to come all the way out here before being sent back home. But before he'd left Cato had promise that he didn't mind the trip. He was just happy to see me again, even if I did look stupid in my wedding dresses. It was enough to make me genuinely laugh for the first time in a long time.

When I fell into bed, I realized that they were so happy because they thought that it meant that I was. That the Capitol had overlooked my interference with the whipping since no one was going to go to such trouble and expense for someone they planned on killing, anyway. Right. They were planning on killing me at some point. I knew that they were. After everything that I had done, I knew that they wanted me dead. I was a walking slap in the face.

In my nightmare, I was dressed in the silk bridal gown, but it was torn and muddy. The long sleeves kept getting caught on thorns and branches as I ran through the woods. Cato was ahead of me and trying to keep ahead of me. He wasn't going to help me. He was going to let them kill me and tear me limb-from-limb. He didn't love me. The pack of muttation Tributes drew closer and closer until it overcame me with hot breath and dripping fangs and I screamed myself awake.

When I finally woke up it was too close to dawn to bother trying to get back to sleep. Besides, today I really had to get out and talk to someone. The house was driving me insane. I couldn't stand being here so much. I wanted to be out in the woods but that wasn't good either. Gale would be unreachable in the mines. Katniss already had too much on her minds and she was as stressed as I was. I needed Haymitch or Cato to share the burden of all that had happened to me since I went to the lake. Fleeing outlaws, electrified fences, an independent District 13, and shortages in the Capitol. Everything.

But I couldn't go to Cato. He was too far away. So that left Haymitch. I ate breakfast with Ms. Everdeen, Katniss, and Prim and headed out in search of a confidant. The air was warm with hopeful hints of spring in it. Spring would be a good time for an uprising. Everyone felt less vulnerable once winter passed. I was surprised to see Haymitch moving around his kitchen so early. I walked into his house without knocking. I could hear Hazelle upstairs, sweeping the floors of the now-spotless house.

Haymitch wasn't flat-out drunk, but he didn't look too steady either. I guessed the rumors about Ripper being back in business were true. I was thinking that maybe I'd better let him just go to bed when he suggested a walk to town. Haymitch and I could speak in a kind of shorthand now. In a few minutes I had updated him and he had told me about rumors of uprisings in Districts 7 and 11 as well. If my hunches were right, that would mean almost half the Districts had at least attempted to rebel.

"Do you still think it won't work here?" I asked.

"Not yet. Those other Districts, they're much larger. Even if half the people cower in their homes, the rebels stand a chance. Here in Twelve, it's got to be all of us or nothing," Haymitch said.

I hadn't thought of that. How we lacked strength of numbers. "But maybe at some point?" I insisted.

"Maybe. But we're small, we're weak, and we don't develop nuclear weapons," Haymitch said with a touch of sarcasm. He didn't get too excited over my District 13 story.

"What about District 2?"

"Never."

"Even with Cato?" I asked.

"No. District 2 runs deep with Capitol loyalists. You could get those close to Cato to rebel but it's a huge District. You'd have people and Peacekeepers beating them down. Districts 1 and 2 won't fight back. Not unless they sense that they're outnumbered," Haymitch explained.

That made plenty of sense to me. Cato could help, but there were too many people that loved the Games there. "What do you think they'll do, Haymitch? To the Districts that are rebelling?" I asked.

"Well, you've heard what they did in Eight. You've seen what they did here, and that was without provocation. If things really do get out of hand, I think they'd have no problem killing off another district, same as they did Thirteen. Make an example of it, you know?" Haymitch explained.

"So you think Thirteen was really destroyed? I mean, Bonnie and Twill were right about the footage of the Mockingjay," I said.

There was an odd flicker in Haymitch's eyes. "Okay, but what does that prove? Nothing, really. There are plenty of reasons they could be using old footage. Probably it looks more impressive. And it's a lot simpler, isn't it? To just press a few buttons in the editing room than to fly all the way out there and film it? The idea that Thirteen has somehow rebounded and the Capitol is ignoring it? That sounds like the kind of rumor desperate people cling to," Haymitch explained.

"I know. I was just hoping."

"Exactly. Because you're desperate."

As much as I would have liked to snap at Haymitch and tell him that he was wrong and just being a stubborn old drunk I knew that it was the wrong thing to say. So I didn't argue because, of course, he was right. I was desperate and looking for something to cling onto with. Prim came home from school later that day bubbling over with excitement. Katniss looked furious. The teachers announced there was mandatory programming tonight.

"I think it's going to be your photo shoot!" Prim said excitably.

"To make you look like a blow-up doll," Katniss sneered.

"Down, girl," I teased. "It can't be, Prim. They only did the pictures yesterday."

"Well, that's what somebody heard," Prim said.

I was hoping that she was wrong. I hadn't had time to prepare Gale for everything. Since the whipping, I only saw him when he came to the house for Ms. Everdeen to check how he was healing. And the night he'd stayed with me. He was often scheduled every day in the mine. In the few minutes of privacy we'd had, with me walking him back to town, I gathered that the rumblings of an uprising in District 12 had been subdued by Thread's crackdown. He knew that I wasn't going to run. But he must also know that if we didn't revolt in District 12, I was destined to be Cato's bride.

Seeing me lounging around in gorgeous gowns on his television... He must have been furious with himself. When we gathered around the television at seven-thirty, I discovered that Prim was right. Sure enough, there was Caesar Flickerman, speaking before a standing-room-only crowd in front of the Training Center, talking to an appreciative crowd about my upcoming nuptials. He introduced Cinna, who became an overnight star with his costumes for me in the Games, and after a minute of good-natured chitchat, we were directed to turn our attention to a giant screen.

Now I saw how they could photograph me yesterday and present the special tonight. Initially, Cinna designed two dozen wedding gowns. Since then, there had been the process of narrowing down the designs, creating the dresses, and choosing the accessories. Apparently, in the Capitol, there were opportunities to vote for your favorites at each stage. Why had I even been expecting that I might get some say in the dress that I would wear on my wedding day? How silly of me.

That was all culminating with shots of me in the final six dresses, which I was sure took no time at all to insert in the show. Cato looked like one of my accessories in the shots. Each shot was met with a huge reaction from the crowd. People screaming and cheering for their favorites, booing the ones they didn't like. Having voted, and probably betting on the winner, people were very invested in my wedding gown. It was bizarre to watch when I thought how I never even bothered to try one on before the cameras arrived. Caesar announced that interested parties must cast their final vote by noon on the following day.

"Let's get Aspen Antaeus to her wedding in style!" he hollered to the crowd. I was about to shut off the television, but then Caesar was telling us to stay tuned for the other big event of the evening. "That's right, this year will be the seventy-fifth anniversary of the Hunger Games, and that means it's time for our third Quarter Quell!"

"What will they do? It isn't for months yet," Prim said.

"That's right. Tomorrow evening will be the reading of the card where we will finally learn what the Third Quarter Quell will hold! Stay tuned for recaps of the previous two Quarter Quells and join us this time tomorrow night for the reading of the card!" Caesar said excitably.

Twenty-four hours... Twenty-four hours and I would know what the brutal twist this year would be for the Hunger Games. "Tomorrow… That's sooner than I was expecting," I said.

"Are you okay?" Katniss asked.

The phone started to ring. "I'll manage. That's probably for me. I'll be back," I said. I darted into the office and picked it up off of the receiver. "Hello?"

"Aspen?" Cato's voice asked.

"You saw the news, huh?"

"Yeah. You looked beautiful."

"I looked like a peacock."

"A very cute peacock," Cato teased.

I snorted under my breath. "Thank you. Are you ready to hear the reading of the card?" I asked Cato.

"I suppose at least we'll find out now and have some time to think about strategies."

"Call me after they read it?"

"Of course. How's the ankle?"

"Better, thanks. Just my own stupidity," I said.

"We all knew that you were a moron," Cato teased.

"Thanks," I snapped.

"Aspen... Do me a favor. Don't panic, alright? Things are going to be okay. You're doing good out there. The people love you, I love you, and you're going to make a beautiful bride."

"Even if I look like a peacock?"

"Especially if you look like a peacock."

Laughing under my breath, I nodded, even though he couldn't see me. "I wish that you were here. I don't like sleeping alone," I said softly.

"Just wait. The day's coming soon enough that we'll sleep together every day for the rest of our lives."

"Nineteen-years-old and already thinking about the rest of my life," I laughed.

"I'm sorry, Aspen."

"Don't be. I'm happy being with you. I really am. I wish that I could have seen you a little longer."

"Me too. Just dream about me tonight. About what would have happened if they'd let me stay a little longer," Cato growled. A furious blush appeared on my cheeks. "You're blushing, aren't you?"

"No," I snapped.

Cato laughed on the other end. "I love you, Aspen. We should get going. I'll talk to you soon," Cato said.

"I love you too, Cato. I'll call you after the reading of the card."

With another quick goodbye the two of us hung up. I spent some time with my family trying to think of anything but the Games and the Quarter Quell but it was almost impossible. I knew what was coming. But I couldn't think of anything happy, no matter what they did or what they tried to say. So I ended up turning in hours earlier than I normally did. No matter what I tried to dream about, particularly my nights in bed with Cato, I couldn't. I just kept dreaming about my Tributes, faceless but terrified, dying in even more brutal ways than I almost had.

 **A/N:** This is a brand-new chapter to fill in some gaps. **Let me know what you think!** Until next time -A


	7. Chapter 7

The next morning I sat bolt upright in my bed. The dream had been recurring all night long. New kids coming to the Capitol with me and each time I wouldn't be able to save them. The worst part was that it was real. Maybe there was a chance that I really couldn't save them. Maybe there was a chance that I never would be able to save them. And Cato... He would have two kids that he would be trying to save. What if one of our kids killed the other? Would that affect us? Or would this whole rebellion start up before the Quarter Quell could even get here? After all, we were still about two months out from the Reaping. A lot could happen.

Downstairs there were loud shouts coming from the kitchen and I smiled as much as I could. I should have figured that they would be trying to make me as happy as they could today. When the reading of the card would be coming soon. When I got to find out what nightmare I would be prepping someone else to face. The nightmares that I had lived through were nothing. Now I would have to learn to help someone else live through their nightmares.

At least I wasn't alone right now. I figured that Katniss and Prim were up and about already. It wasn't surprising. The two were normally the earliest risers and I could usually hear them downstairs chatting with each other. I could smell the cookies baking downstairs and I almost laughed. They were chocolate chip. My favorite. That shouldn't have been surprising. I knew that today they wanted to make me feel as good as they could. In nine hours President Snow would be announcing what the twist on the Quarter Quell would be. I would finally know what I had to keep in mind while Mentoring this year.

It was enough to make me want to vomit. I couldn't believe that we were that far. I wanted to go back to the second month since I had been back. Before I'd realized quite how bad everything was and before I had really been thinking of what was going to happen during the Quarter Quell. Yawning deeply, I looked out the window and saw that the sky was a soft pink under the horizon. It was earlier than I had thought that it would be. I knew that the sun wouldn't be up for nearly another half an hour. Lately I hadn't been able to sleep well. I was almost not sleeping at all.

Today had been strange, considering that I had almost slept through. Most nights I slept for a grand total of four hours. Sometimes I would get a little more but most nights it was even less. Every night I was having nightmares about the things that were to come. I kept thinking that for whatever crazy reason it was that I would be going back into the Games. I knew the promise. Once we were in the Games we were supposed to be left alone to bathe in our riches. But it didn't matter. Ever since Cato and I had won, I was so convinced that President Snow was going to be doing anything in his power to send us back into the arena.

That would be one way to kill us without having to worry about the people of the Capitol going through an uprising. As much as they loved us, they did still love the Hunger Games, and the Quarter Quell, even more subsequently. Perhaps there was a chance that I would be back in the arena. That would have been one of my worst nightmares. But every morning after a nightmare I would wake myself up and tell myself that it was just a bad dream. I would just have to keep telling myself that and pray that it was true. But after tonight I would know for a fact what was going to happen during these Games.

Everyone would know what the twist was in the Third Quarter Quell. And in just two months I would be standing on the Town Square stage for the Reaping while the names of the new District 12 Tributes would be read out. Perhaps people would finally forget about the Star-Crossed Lovers of District 12 and District 2. That was what I would love. But I knew that they wouldn't. It was even worse. I was getting forcibly married - which, no matter how much I loved Cato, I wasn't ready for - and afterwards I would be forced to move to District 2. Would I be one of their Mentors? Would I have to figure out at least another two Quarter Quells?

What would they even do this year? There were so many things that I could think of and I knew that I was much less creative than they were. The Tributes could be all one gender, they could all be crippled, all elderly, all under twelve, or maybe only made up of Victor's relatives. That thought sent a chill up my spine. And those were barely that bad. The arena could be all water with the Cornucopia underwater, taking only single parents, leaving no weapons to make the kids beat each other to death, depriving the Tributes of one of their senses before going into the arena, or having no Mentors and Sponsors.

Each thought just got worse and worse. I just wanted to think about something else. Anything else. So I thought about how Gale was thankfully safe this year. He was already nineteen and would be twenty in a matter of months. Katniss still had one more year after this one. I knew that if Prim were Reaped again then this time Katniss would step in. But I couldn't imagine Mentoring her. I would be too afraid that whatever I told her would be wrong and I would get her killed. I just couldn't imagine having to put her through what I went through, to save her and Prim.

And to have Cato trying to save someone that was attempting to kill Katniss. I shook my head and glanced down at the sheets. I didn't want to think about that. Because it hadn't happened yet. I could just pray that she would be safe. Sighing deeply I stood from the bed and walked into the bathroom. Stripping off the pajamas that I had been wearing before bed yesterday, I yawned as I flipped on the shower head. I had to do something today. I was sick of just sitting here and feeling useless. The warm water came pouring down and I stepped under quickly. It felt nice after the months of snow and blizzards.

My muscles were completely tensed up and I sighed at the feeling of the warm water. It seemed to have been forever since I was genuinely calm. The last time that I could remember feeling calm was weeks before the last Hunger Games. I had been a bundle of nerves that Prim would be the one to go into the Games. It had even overtaken the thought that I was only in the pool for one more year. After that I had been so afraid of going into the Games and dying. When I was out I was afraid that they were going to kill either Cato or myself. It seemed like no matter what happened I was always afraid of something.

Now there was the issue of what was to come with the Quarter Quell and the uprisings all over Panem. It was a problem no matter what I did. There was nothing that I could do to help anything. I just had to sit around and wait to see if things changed. Because right now I was in far too much danger to try and help out anything. Turning the water off, I stepped out of the shower and grabbed a towel off of the rack. The one thing that I did miss about the Capitol was the stupid drying plates. They did make things much easier.

Well, there was that, and the fact that I got to see Cato every day. But that wasn't the way that I wanted to see him. I wanted to come home and see him goofing around with the both of our families. That was the way that I wanted to live. But that wasn't the way that things were. With the towel wrapped around me I walked out of the bathroom and back into my bedroom. Dropping down in front of the dresser I grabbed the drawer and pulled it open. I was digging through the clothes, wondering what I would wear for the day. Something somber but not too bad that it alerted my family.

On the top of the drawer there was a black shirt that I hadn't worn since Peeta's funeral. I picked it up gently and nearly sobbed at the sight of it. The service had been a beautiful one. Art pieces that Peeta had made were hung all along the walls of the Mellark's bakery. They were gorgeous. I could tell that he had spent months on each one. There was one of the sun setting over the woods and I had managed to smile. He may not have been a hunter but he did manage to capture the woods perfectly. Most were of little spots around District 12 or just scenery shots, but there was one that had caught my eye.

It was a portrait of a two girls, one blonde and one brunette. The wind was blowing through their hair and the two were sitting together. I could tell that they were laughing, with their two weapons sitting at their sides. Once I had realized what the portrait was, I had cried. Not just a little sob. I had cried like a baby when I'd realized what it was. When I'd thought that Peeta had barely paid attention to me before he had been Reaped, I realized that it was a lie. He had been paying attention to me for a long time.

The portrait was of Katniss and myself. It was what Peeta had pictured the two of us to be like when we were hunting. That night Peeta's family had seen me standing over the painting and they had offered me to take it. I had tried to deny them but it had seemed like they weren't going to let me leave until I took it. So I did and eventually hung it above my dresser. Katniss hadn't been able to look at the painting for weeks. I knew that she still was in pain over Peeta's death. She probably always would be. She had never had someone feel that way about her.

As I pulled on the black flowing top and a pair of white torn jeans, with a thick wool sweater and scarf, I ran my hand lightly over the painting. After placing a kiss on it I smiled and walked over to my desk. In the first drawer was where I kept all of my letters and notes to myself. Immediately I sighed at the first letter on the top of the pile. It was the speech that I had given at Peeta's funeral. It was written in my small hand and a few of the words were smeared because of fallen tears while reading and writing it. I sat down in the white desk chair and read over the note for the first time in months.

 _Despite feeling like I knew him forever, I really didn't know Peeta for a long time. I had seen him around the District all the time when we were kids, and particularly at school, but I never thought twice about him. He was just some rich kid from the merchant sector. He had never said anything to me and I had only really noticed him once. When I was younger, my best friend Katniss and I were starving to death. We would have died in a matter of days. Maybe that day. But we still tried to get food for our family._

 _That day was during a heavy rain. There was snow and we were barely able to trudge through it. We tried so hard but we couldn't keep going. We sat down behind a tree and just laid there, waiting to die. But Peeta saw us. He deliberately burned the bread that he was baking and tossed it at us instead of feeding it to the pigs. He was beaten for it, but we lived. He acted like it was no big deal. But I never got to tell him how grateful I was that he had saved my life. As much as I wanted to, I could never find the words. And it wasn't even just that once._

 _I foolishly thought that during the Games he had betrayed me to the Careers, but I had learned that he was trying to keep them away from me. I wish that I had been able to save him during the Death Match. He was a much better person than me and he deserved to be here. I'm so sorry that you lost him. He should have been the one to be here and I will never forgive myself for not saving him. He was a gentle soul that brought me up when I was down. He was the reason that I lived in the first place. He is my reason to keep fighting._

 _Thank you._

It had taken me a long time to figure out exactly what I wanted to say to him. I couldn't figure out what I wanted to tell his parents. Nothing would have changed the fact that Peeta was dead and I hadn't been able to save him. That day - the day of the funeral only days after I had returned to District 12 - I had sat back down in my chair and cried for hours after the funeral. Because the whole thing had broken my heart. Because I'd realized just what Peeta meant to me. Katniss, Gale, and Prim had all tried to make me feel better but nothing had worked.

No matter what, I felt that it was my fault that Peeta had died and that was not something that they could do anything about. I had sulked for months afterward and the only time that I had really picked myself up was once I had gotten ready for the Victory Tour. I sighed and dropped the note back onto the table before digging through the rest of the drawers. I found the rough draft of the first note that I had sent Finnick and I gave a sour smile. We didn't like to talk on the phones too much so we wrote letters - hoping that the Capitol thought that it if we were writing, we weren't calling. I read over my first letter to him and grinned.

 _Finnick,_

 _I know that I haven't even been home for all that long but I thought that I should talk to you about things. Plus I really don't have much to do during the days. I'm so bored. I wish I had a job just to keep my mind off of things. There's nothing for me to do. What do you do in your spare time? Which is the entire time, I suppose._

 _When I was leaving the Capitol I saw you with a blonde-haired woman. I assume that she was one of your clients? She actually doesn't look much like a Capitol woman. But I'm sure that she's just like they normally are. I'm really sorry that you have to do it. I don't know you can do it without getting sick of it, but I respect you for it._

 _Anyways, there was something that I wanted to tell you. A Peacekeeper from District 2 was transferred to District 12 and I just met him. Not in the nicest way either. His name is Romulus Thread and he's a damn monster. Gale was caught with a turkey that he hunted and he got forty lashes for it. He nearly killed him until Katniss and I stepped in. I got a punch and lash in the face, a lash to the back of my thighs, and a gun to the head. Haymitch diffused it. Gale is on the mend but those scars will last him a lifetime._

 _Enough of my whining about my problems. How have you been?_

 _Aspen._

The woman was still fresh in my mind. I could tell that he would sooner have thrown her over the balcony rather than have to deal with her for one more night. As far as Romulus Thread went, his presence leaked in the air of District 12. People were afraid to go out once the sun went down and I kept cautious about getting anywhere near the whipping post. Gale was completely healed, but definitely angry. I grabbed his reply and smiled at his writing. It was nice and neat for a man, but it smelled like the ocean. The thought was almost laughable.

 _Aspen,_

 _Good to hear from you. I always do enjoy your letters. Not to fear, I do like writing to you. You have much nicer handwriting than most people I know. Well done. I understand, I'm frequently bored too. My days are mostly spent on boats to help with the fishing industry. It's something to do and I love being in the water._

 _As for the woman, her name is Adair Milan. She's one of my more frequent clients. She's nice, but she is still a Capitol woman. Like you said, she doesn't look quite like them. I think she does it to make me look more comfortable around her. Which I'm not. Still I've dealt with plenty worse. I do it by just smiling and pretending like it's okay. Because it never is, but I try._

 _That video of you stepping in went viral. It was cut off right when you ran up in front of Thread but everyone was curious what happened once the cameras stopped rolling. If he hit you I'm sure that it hurt pretty bad, didn't it? He's a big guy. How's that nice mark on your face treating you? I hope that you start feeling better soon. You have your wedding photo shoot to go to, after all. We can't have the lovely bride-to-be injured, now, can we?_

 _Anyways, things are good here in District 4. I hope that one day you could come and visit. More than for just the Victory Tour. I think that you would like it. I'm working on moving in with Annie these days, but I don't want to put her in danger to the Capitol. Maybe seeing each other in secret is still the best idea. I would love to have a real life with her, but we're not quite like the Star-Crossed Lovers. I have something for her but I wanted to get your opinion on it first._

 _Finnick._

It was such a typical Capitol name that I had laughed loudly when I had read it. I couldn't believe that she was one of the nicer people. She looked like the kind of person that you would want to throttle before spending a minute with. Cato had told me that high profile members of society had seen the video, which included Finnick. I couldn't understand why they had even played it in the first place. It made them look bad. Unfortunately Finnick had to be an asshole. But I knew that he really wasn't. He was so happy with Annie and I wished that the two of them would live happily ever after. They deserved it.

 _Finnick,_

 _You're an asshole, I hope you know that. That stupid cut was there for almost three months. There's still a little bit of a scar. I'm sure that I'll get chewed out by the Prep Team when it's time for the wedding photo shoots to come up. No, we would never want me to be injured. That would be terrible. Yeah, Thread hits damn hard. It hurt terribly. But I wasn't thinking when I ran up to stop everything. I just knew that I had been under the whip one time and I knew how bad it hurt. The human part of me couldn't let the same thing happen to my best friend who was just trying to feed his family. I couldn't let him get hurt._

 _I don't blame you for being cautious about wanting to move in with Annie. I think that would be the best for now. Just take things slow. I get that you've been taking things slow for a long time now but I can't imagine that you want to lose one more thing that is precious to you. She seems like such a sweet woman. I would love to officially meet her one day. Maybe after these upcoming Games you could ask her to move in with you?_

 _Anyways, what did you want to get her?_

 _Aspen._

My first sentence made me snort. The paper that I had written my draft on stunk of chocolate. Katniss and Prim had made cookies and they had put it on top of the paper. It made me want to go downstairs and get some of whatever they were baking now. My eye throbbed slightly at the memory of Thread's whip and I sighed. That really had hurt. Continuing to read I was surprised that I had told Finnick about myself being under the whip once. That wasn't something that a lot of people knew about. I remembered wondering what it was that he wanted to get her. It wasn't at all what he had actually wanted to get her.

 _Aspen,_

 _Trust me when I say that I understand wanting to protect someone that you love. I'm always trying to protect the people that I love. I've lost too many of them and I can't even imagine losing more people. I know that you understand it. I think the two of us understand that more than most people. Just because of what we've been through, even though we're both so young._

 _But what were you under the whip for? I don't remember you ever telling me about being under a whip. This must have been before I met you because I'm sure that you would have told me if something like that had happened to you. As for the bruise, you should have called the Capitol to get some of that bruise cream. They would have sent it to you. I know that it sucks to ask them for anything close to help but I think that you should say something._

 _As for Annie, I wanted to get her a ring. I was actually thinking of giving her my mother's ring. It's of the only things that I have left from her. I want to marry her, Aspen. I love her._

 _Finnick._

Finnick was one of the people that wanted to protect everyone that he loved. He had lost everyone because of the Capitol. He knew what true pain was. I grimaced when I thought about the searing pain of the whip. It had hurt so badly. But it was nothing compared to the pain of when the wolf mutt had chomped down on me and when the claws had raked down my back. Those remained the worst pain that I had ever felt. The bruise cream was what had saved me from looking like an idiot after being hit by Cato during training. It had been an accident but it had still hurt.

When I had read that Finnick had wanted to get married to Annie I had been so happy that I had screamed. Katniss and Gale had come sprinting up the stairs to make sure that I was okay but I had been laughing hysterically. That was probably the first time that they had been genuinely concerned that I was losing my marbles. Of course I hadn't been able to tell them what it really was that I was happy about, but they looked perfectly content just with the fact that I was happy.

 _Finnick,_

 _I knew that the phone worked but I didn't really know anyone's number. I was glad that you managed to get my number and it took me a long time to even figure out Cato's. And we don't even talk that much over them. It's mostly Cinna that I talk to. You know, so that I can make sure that my 'talent' is coming along._

 _As for the bruise cream, I think that I'm good. I'd much rather show Thread that I am not ashamed of what happened to me. Although I could do without the pain. And I certainly don't regret stepping in to help Gale. Just like the Games to save Prim, I would do it again and again if it meant to save them any pain. When I was whipped I was protecting this girl that had stolen bread so that she wouldn't get whipped just for wanting to feed her family. I was playing the hero, as I always tend to do._

 _Oh, Finnick! That's amazing. I'm sure that Annie would say yes to you in a heartbeat. I've never spoken to her but I can see how much she loves you. Please do it. Please, please, please. A wedding might be something that people need. And not the media fest that mine will be. A happy little party for friends and family. And I better be invited._

 _Aspen._

The pone was something that I really had to be careful with. I knew that I couldn't just get rid of the bruise and swelling. I had to show that I was not ashamed of going up against someone that I knew I wouldn't win against. That was not in my personality. We all knew that. I laughed as I jumped down to the part about Finnick and Annie. My handwriting was much shakier at the bottom and I knew that it was because I was squirming around and smiling stupidly as I scribbled. I had meant what I said about the wedding but also because I wanted the media to have something else to focus on besides me and my wedding.

 _Aspen,_

 _That's what I was thinking. But just because you two are the Star-Crossed Lovers, it doesn't mean that the rest of the Victors would have any less of a huge wedding. I'm sure that the media would be just as insane about a wedding between Annie and I as they would between you and Cato. Not quite as much though, considering that we aren't the Star-Crossed Lovers. I'd much rather hand the spotlight off to you. Don't worry, you would be the first person that I would invite._

 _Good for you. Stay strong and don't show Thread that even for a moment he hurt you. As far as he is concerned you are the strongest person that he has ever met. You certainly are the strongest person that I have ever met. And with all that he's doing in District 12, it's important that you show that he doesn't scare you._

 _As for the phones, they work but they do keep a close eye on them. So be careful if you start using them more frequently. I think the Capitol would like us to think that they are more for decoration so we can't keep in much contact with each other. They don't like that we all speak to each other when they aren't around to watch over us._

 _Speaking of Gale, how is he doing?_

 _Finnick._

He was right from the beginning. The media would love a wedding between Finnick and Annie but it would destroy some of the Capitol citizens. They loved him and they had no idea that he was even involved with the Victor. He was also right by the means that the moment that Cato and I were married, the media would be all over us. They would want to know every little detail about everything that had happened in our lives. We wouldn't get a moments peace that entire day.

It was something that we were both going to have to get used to. I smiled as I read the part of the note where Finnick told me that I was strong. I certainly didn't feel that way most of the time. But I did appreciate it. It was nice that someone thought that I was strong. He was also right about the Capitol wanting us to keep in minimal contact. Things could get dangerous if we spoke freely between ourselves. Finnick's last letter had just gotten to me yesterday and I hadn't yet gotten a chance to think about what I wanted to say or send one back.

Digging through the drawer a little more I saw that Cato's letters were just under Finnick's. He wrote on paper that had a large 2 printed across the top of the paper and it was outlined in gold. He had told me once that it was embarrassing but it was the only paper that he had. I'd smiled and laughed. His handwriting was small and messy. It looked like typical male handwriting and I thought that it was funny. There were some very general things about him, even though he was very different than anyone else that I'd ever met. I dug through the drawer and pulled out the draft of the first letter that I had sent him.

 _Cato,_

 _I hope that you're having fun settling in with you family again. You deserve to be back home with them. They love you a lot. Almost as much as I do. Maybe more sometimes. I've been having kind of a shitty time on the other hand. Obviously you saw that I got punched and whipped in the face by one of the Peacekeepers. On the back of the thighs, too, which really hurt. That guy that you told me about, Romulus Thread, he was the one who did it._

 _I can see why everyone hates him so much. He is a complete monster. He burned the Hob to the ground. So many people are out of work and the District is starving again. People hardly ever leave their houses anymore. They are too afraid to leave. He has set martial law that if anyone is seen outside after sundown they would be shot on sight. There's also stockades and a whipping post and a noose in the middle of the Town Square now._

 _Honestly I just can't believe that all of this is happening just because we won the Games together. I mean, I would never take back anything that we did together in the Games. I'm so happy that we managed to get out of there together. But part of me wonders if things would have been any different if one of us had died and they had been given the one Victor that they were supposed to have. If things had gone the way that they were supposed to._

 _Aspen._

Reading over my letter I realized that I must have hurt his feelings a little bit when I had said that there should have been only one of us to get out of the arena. I hadn't meant that I had wanted him to die, I just meant that I would have wanted for things to be easier for us. I would not have enjoyed getting that letter from him. It was a bad idea. I kept reading and sighed as I read about the new laws that Romulus Thread. Cato knew him and he knew what a monster he was. I couldn't help but to wonder what he would have done if he had seen Thread hit me. He probably would have killed the Head Peacekeeper.

 _Aspen,_

 _Please don't ever say anything like that. I hate thinking that one of us really could have died in the arena. Especially after we both actually managed to live. We both made it out of there for a reason. To be together, the way that both of us wanted. You know that neither one of us wanted to come out of there making so many changes to the world around us but that was just something that we had to do. So that we wouldn't hurt each other. We just have to deal with the consequences of everything that we did in the arena. We knew that there would be fallback from this._

 _As for Romulus Thread, he has always been a terrible person and you know that now. I tried to warn you about him but I wish that I had been there to protect you. I could kill him if I was there. I don't want anyone laying a hand on you. What the hell happened that got you punched and whipped in the face? I know you can be annoying but I'm sure that it didn't justify you getting hit._

 _Anyways, the family is good. They're all happy to have me back home. Confused about the engagement, of course. Aiden still seems to be training to go into the Games. I wish that he would stop. Everyone says hello._

 _Cato._

We were writing about the whipping like we hadn't talked on the phones to try and keep the Capitol from tapping the line. He was right about one thing, we did have to deal with the consequences of our actions during the Games and we had known that long before we had even gotten out of the Games. We knew that there would be consequences. I laughed at his comment about me being an annoying. When I had read the letter I could practically feel Cato's pain at his brother still wanting to go into the Games. I knew that it was something that hurt him. I understood that.

 _Cato,_

 _Tell them all that I say hello back. I hope that one day soon I can see them all again but I know that it is wishful thinking. They don't give us much time to see each other before we get whisked off to do whatever else they need us to do. Still, I'm sure that one day I'll get to see them all again. Maybe on our wedding day? And I hope that one day soon you can meet my family since the beginning of the Victory Tour didn't go the way that I expected it to. I want them to get to know you._

 _Don't worry about Aiden. He just needs some time for everything to start making sense to him. I think after he sees how horrible the Quarter Quell is going to be he will give up on that idea of going into the Games himself. Like I said, just give him some time. Don't try pushing him away from them. You'll only make it worse._

 _I know about the Games. Like I said, I wouldn't have wanted to change anything that happened between the two of us. I'm glad that we're together and I'm glad that we're getting married soon. I just wish that the situation was different. I wish that we were getting married when we were a little older and I wish that we could make all of the choices, rather than letting someone make all of the choices for us. As they always seem to do._

 _Anyways, I got punched in the face because I stepped in when Thread was whipping Gale for having a turkey that they thought was illegal. He was just trying to feed his family and he got punished for it. I couldn't believe what happened. I mean, I was almost shot for stepping in. The world is getting so crazy. I just want things to be normal again. If they ever could be._

 _Aspen._

With everything that was happening, I didn't get much of a chance to think about things. But I did miss Cato's family. They were nice and it seemed that they were some of the few people that genuinely liked me. Not because of my times in the Games. I had meant what I had said about the Quarter Quell scaring Aiden off. They were some of the bloodiest Games. They normally made people rethink wanting to volunteer. I couldn't help but to wonder if Cato blamed Gale for me getting hurt. Knowing him, probably. Particularly after the kiss that I'd stupidly told him about.

 _Aspen,_

 _Trust me when I say that we would all like for things to be normal again. But I'm not sure if that's something that will ever happen again. We changed things. I don't know what else could happen. I would love for things to be simple again and for the world to continue on the way that it was, but it doesn't seem to be in the cards for us. It just sucks. It always will._

 _You were brave to step in and defend your friend but that was stupid. You could have been shot. You might have been shot if Haymitch hadn't come in and saved your stupid self. Brutus apparently saw the whole thing after I asked him about it. He told me that you stood there even after he threatened to shoot you. Aspen, you're a brave girl but you aren't always the smartest. Please stop being such an idiot._

 _You will see my parents again, even if it isn't until they're eighty. But until then it doesn't matter. It just matters that they love you and so does your family. We all love you. I'd like to meet them, but I'm not sure how much they'd like to meet me._

 _Cato._

There was no going back to normal. Things were changing and there was nothing that we could do to stop it. We couldn't keep pretending that things would get back to normal. We had started something and we would have to see it all the way through. Hopefully Cato had since taken my word on the Gale situation and forgotten about it. I knew that it was something that I would be chewed out over when we saw each other again. I giggled at his two little jokes and rolled my eyes. He really did know how to make me feel better, even if it was through an insult to me.

 _Cato,_

 _I suppose that's true. I'm not sure how thrilled they would all be to meet you. Despite how many times I've told them that they have to get over their mistrust of you and just let me introduce you. Ms. Everdeen wouldn't judge you too harshly but you would have to keep in mind that she lost her two best friends to people like you. The District 2 male Tribute. But she does seem rather interested in actually meeting you._

 _Prim would probably be terrified of you. Let's face it, you're a little imposing. But I think she would grow to like you. She seems to like everyone after a while. She just has to warm up to them. Katniss would probably question you about me and threaten you with everything that you didn't know about me. Trust me, you wouldn't earn her affections easily. No one earns her affections easily._

 _As for Gale, I think he would be the hardest person to get to like you. He's an extremely protective person and he still thinks that you were with me because it was an attention thing._

 _I would vouch for you though. I'm just that charming._

 _Aspen._

Ms. Everdeen was definitely the most open of anyone that I knew. But the male from District 2 that had killed her two best friends. Prim would definitely be terrified to get anywhere near Cato. She had seen him fight with a ruthless vigor and she stood probably a foot and a half below Cato. Katniss was closer to him in height, probably the way that Glimmer had once stood to him. But she wouldn't back down like Glimmer had. She would question him until the end of time to make sure that he was good for me. Gale would go into full attack mode. Rolling my eyes at my little quip at the end I pulled out Cato's next letter.

 _Aspen,_

 _Oh, yes, you are charming and humble. They're two of your best personality traits. They're just a few of the many reasons that I love you. Trust me, that's part of the reason that I was attracted to you. Or maybe it was just the way that you looked at me when I knew that you were trying to avoid looking at me._

 _Don't worry about me. I'm wonderful at charming parents and kids love me so I wouldn't be too worried about Prim and Ms. Everdeen. Katniss will get over it as soon as she realizes that I know and care about you more than she thinks. And I think I'm good enough to avoid an arrow from her. Right? When it comes to Gale, is it that rude to say that I don't really care what he thinks? He isn't your family. He's just some guy that you've been friends with for a while. Well, he is your cousin, actually._

 _Anyways, we're down to the wire on the announcement of the Quarter Quell. What do you think that it will be?_

 _Cato._

Giggling slightly at the first of his answers I rolled my eyes and smiled. He definitely thought I was big-headed. But I did smile when he told me that he loved me. No one ever told me that they loved me before him. Not romantically anyways. Staring angrily at his insult to Gale I nearly crumpled the paper. I knew that Gale wasn't a part of my family but he was still important to me. It had taken me weeks to respond to Cato after that. I hadn't known what to say about Gale that wouldn't make either of us mad at the other. I picked up the outline for my last letter to him and read over the carefully worded letter.

 _Cato,_

 _I am so humble, aren't I? It's just one of the many reasons that you fell in love with me, right? And, no, you could not avoid one of Katniss's arrows. Trust me. I did try to avoid looking at you because I thought that you were going to end up slaughtering me the second that we stepped foot in the arena._

 _I don't think the three women are the ones that you have to worry about. I think that you have to worry about Gale, actually. And I care what he thinks. He saved my skin a few times before the Games and he was one of the people that was always there for me. It matters to me what he thinks of you and I hope that you will at least try to win his favor when the day comes that you do meet him. I hope that the two of you can find a way to get along. You both mean the world to me._

 _I don't even want to think of what the Quarter Quell is. I hate that we ever have to have a part in it. We are some of the ones that will train those kids to fight against each other and become the person that they will hate if they live. I guess if I had to think about anything that they could do it would be to make anyone eligible for the Games. You know, no matter how old they are. But it doesn't matter what they do. It will be horrific. I hope that we're both ready for this._

 _Aspen._

I'd meant what I'd said that it wasn't the women in my life that he had to worry about. He would eventually grow on them and they would eventually grow on him. I knew that they would all eventually grow on each other. But Gale was another story. He hated Cato and I knew that Cato wasn't overly fond of Gale either. They were such typical boys. I sighed again as I thought about the next Quarter Quell. These Games were so bad that I had no idea what they could do to make them even worse. Maybe they could involve the Capitol kids. Now that would be a wonderful twist.

Sighing deeply, I stuffed the letters back into my dresser and wondered if Cato had ever sent me a letter back. He probably hadn't. I was assuming that my last letter had probably gotten to him only a few days ago. Plus we had called yesterday and I knew that we were going to call each other today. Which would be wonderful, since I really did miss getting to talk to him every day. I hated being this far away from him. But, at the same time, I didn't really want to be in District 2. I didn't want to live away from my family. Damned if I did and damned if I didn't.

Standing from my desk, I walked over to my closet and slipped my black boots onto my feet before quietly making my way down the stairs. I could see Katniss and Prim in the kitchen talking to each other and I smiled at them. They were laughing and smiling at each other. It was like everything was wonderful in the world. It was the first time in a long time that I'd seen them happy like that. Not wanting to interrupt their moment and not wanting to tell them where I was going, I made my way out of the room almost silently. Once I was out of the house I smiled and started to head across Victor's Village.

Not that I had told my family, but lately I had been spending my mornings with my previous Mentor, Haymitch. He wasn't always the most pleasant person in the world. In fact, he was one of the least pleasant people that I had ever met. That didn't matter though. I would get over it. Haymitch and I did manage to get over our little arguments rather quickly. Mostly because there was no point in lingering on them. We would have to work together soon enough. But in the meantime I didn't tell anyone where I went most mornings.

It wasn't like I was ashamed of what I was doing, but I was afraid to tell my family what we were doing. They would probably try to bring me to therapy if they knew that I went over to his house every morning to drink. It was more of social drinking than getting drunk but I knew that they wouldn't approve, no matter what. They would be afraid that I would become like Haymitch. I knew that the prospect scared them but I was just fine with it. I understood why Haymitch drank the way that he did. It helped him forget. There were definitely things that I would like to forget. But I had people to help me through what I had gone through.

It was one of the things that I felt very guilty about when it came to Haymitch. I wanted him to have someone to speak to, but I knew that he wouldn't speak to me. Not with everything that had happened between us. Walking up the door that went into Haymitch's house, I decided not to knock and just walk in. I knew that I wouldn't be interrupting and he told me to just come on it anyways. Probably because he wanted me to wake him up from his alcohol-induced stage. It made me a slightly more effective alarm clock. And I also assumed that Hazelle wasn't around right now.

"Good morning, Haymitch," I called. I got no response. As I weaved my way through his foyer and into the kitchen, I looked around to see if I could find him. "Haymitch?"

There was a bottle on the counter but it was sealed and there was almost nothing missing from it. But that didn't mean that there wasn't an empty bottle somewhere. He had been drinking. He always drank. Just so that he didn't have to go through a withdrawal. Now came the issue of where the hell he had gone off to. I walked into the living room afterwards. He was lying on the couch and on the floor was his glass. He had clearly fallen asleep drinking last night. _Of course_. _Should have seen that one coming_. I walked over to him as I stood over him and slapped his arm roughly.

"Get up!" I yelled.

Haymitch shot up. He groaned lightly when he saw that it was me. "Morning, sweetheart," Haymitch greeted.

I rolled my eyes as I helped him up from his spot on the couch. "It's afternoon, Haymitch," I said.

"It feels like the middle of the night."

"Come on. I feel like your babysitter, not the girl whose life you saved," I muttered, helping him over to the table.

It was not easy. He was much stronger and heavier than I had thought that he would be. It was driving me nuts. He couldn't even help me help him support himself. Haymitch roughly pulled himself up from the couch and gave me a sour grin. Obviously he was not happy to see me. I gave him a pathetic smile and laughed as I saw that his hair was sticking up at all sides of his head. He hadn't slept in his own bed in a long time. I could tell. He stood from the chair and ran his fingers through his hair, giving me a flat look.

"I'm glad that you can finally think about it that way because you know, that's exactly what happened. Isn't it?" he asked.

"I thanked you every time that I got a Sponsor gift, idiot. And I saved myself, shall I remind you?"

"You kept doing stupid thing after stupid thing and who was there to save your ungrateful ass?"

"I said thank you!"

"Oh yeah, that was me!"

"Don't be such a drama queen. We both made it out of there," I told Haymitch.

We both gave each other a long glare. It was habit. Even though I came over to chat and have a drink, we rarely got out of each other's company without having at least one argument. We were always angry with each other about something. The Games and uprisings were frequent topics of arguments. He knew that I hadn't meant to get into fights or nearly die, but I was sure that he would hang that over my head for years to come. I shrugged my shoulders and walked into the kitchen to grab a bottle.

"Think it's maybe a little early to be drinking darling?" Haymitch called, following me into the kitchen.

I held the bottle loosely in my hands and spun it in front of my eyes. Through the amber liquid I saw that Haymitch was smirking at me. "When did that stop you?" I asked.

"I'm used to it," Haymitch said.

"That's a terrible argument."

"Get used to it. And put the bottle down."

"Come on, Haymitch. When have you ever known me to wait until I should do something?" I asked.

He laughed lightly. "You're an idiot. You don't do what you're supposed to and you never listen to me," Haymitch growled.

"You're not getting an apology."

"Didn't expect one."

Giving him a small smile, I poured the both of us a glass and he took it, downing the liquid quickly. It was exactly the way that we had always been. We fought like cats and dogs. But somehow we managed to be friendly enough with each other when we needed it. I rolled my eyes at Haymitch and watched as he shuffled the papers that were scattered throughout the kitchen. He seemed to be looking for something but I wasn't sure how he even knew what was what. None of the papers had any labels or anything on them. They were the only things that Haymitch wouldn't let Hazelle touch.

"What are you doing?" I asked.

"Looking," Haymitch snapped.

"How do you even know what you're looking for?"

"I have my own system."

I grabbed a file and began to open it but Haymitch grabbed it back from me and tossed it to the floor with a little grunt. "Don't touch anything. I have it all in it's place," Haymitch said.

"Everything is just pushed in there together. It looks all jumbled together if you ask me," I said, watching his hand flutter over more files.

Faster than I thought that his intoxicated form was capable of, he swirled back and gave me a little glare that screamed shut up. "Is this your system?" Haymitch asked.

"No."

"Then shut up," he snapped.

I rolled my eyes at him and watched as he shuffled through a few more files before he finally stopped. The file was marked with a little red line and I cocked my head at it. "What's that?" I asked.

"Yours," Haymitch said.

What made that file so special? Haymitch turned to me and handed the file over. "W - What is it?" I asked weakly.

"Take it. Here you go. I meant to give this to you a few months back but I felt like I should let you get back into the swing of things before I gave it to you."

"Just tell me what it is," I said, staring blankly at the folder.

"It's paper, sweetheart. It ain't gonna bite," Haymitch said.

Before grabbing the file I looked up at Haymitch and creased my eyebrows. "What is it?" I repeated, grabbing the file.

It wasn't very thick but papers looked like they were about to fall out. For a while Haymitch just let me stare at it. I wanted to know what the hell it was that Haymitch wanted me to see so badly. He led me over to the couch and I took a seat, holding the file limply in my hands. I was sure that it was probably something about me but I wasn't sure why Haymitch was looking at me like he thought that I might fall apart. I was well past that stage. Now I was just trying to get back to normal. That was what I needed.

"Why don't you open it and look?" Haymitch asked softly.

"Okay."

Taking the front cover of the file lightly into my hands I opened it and watched as a small piece of paper fluttered into my lap. I picked up the piece of paper and turned it over in my hands. On the front side was a picture. It was of a woman that looked vaguely familiar. She had light blonde hair and dark blue eyes. Her hair was pulled back into a braid and she had a small smile on her face. She looked to be just a little younger than me and she seemed to be in the middle of a large room. It looked almost like she was in the Capitol. In the back of the picture was a mirror and I saw that a man was behind the camera.

The man had shaggy blonde hair that was a little lighter than the woman and he had bright blue eyes. He looked like he was rolling his eyes at her. From the picture he looked like he was in his early twenties and I smiled. They looked like friends. As I glanced over the picture again I realized where they were. They were on a train. The same train that took me to the Capitol all those months ago. My hand flew up to my mouth when the realization hit me. The man was Haymitch. It was just a few years after he had won his Games. But the woman was the one that I kept my eyes glued on. It was my mother.

There was only one picture that I had of her but it was grainy. Not clear, like this one. Keeping the picture close to me I looked over the rest of the file and let my eyes fall on another picture. This one was easy to tell. It was of my father. I'd seen him from his Games. His hair was darker than my mother's but he had my brown eyes. He wasn't smiling at all in his picture. He looked angry. He looked like I had during the training with the Gamemakers. I could see where I got my piercing stare from. Pushing the picture of my father off to the side with the picture of my mother, I straightened up and looked into the file.

On the left side was my father's file. There were notes scribbled on the page and I looked them over. It was written in Haymitch's ugly scrawl and I smiled. Some things never changed. His writing was still hard to read. The notes were all written in clipped sentences. _Stubborn boy. Only wants his family. Refuses to listen. Hard-headed. Going to have to appeal with his kid. Good with knives. Get Peacekeeper to tell me the gender_. I smiled at the last note and looked at the bottom of the page. On it was a list of names with the respective District number. My eyes traced over the District 2 boy, whose name was Abraxus. At the bottom of the name was a small note. _Stay away from him. Dangerous_.

A lump rose in my throat and I coughed lightly, fighting very hard to blink back the tears. Haymitch had known from the beginning that the boy was dangerous. Maybe that was why he had felt so determined to keep me away from Cato from day one. Because he knew what those boys were capable of. I turned over to the right side of the file and looked over the notes on my mother's side. _Sweet girl. Very protective of her child. Aspen_. The lump rose in my throat when I looked over my name.

Haymitch had known me long before I was ever Reaped for the last Games. I couldn't believe that he'd never spoken to me before. The other notes were about her skill with the bow and arrows and about her willingness to do whatever it took to get her home. To me. Just like in my father's notes, in my mother's there was a list of Tribute names. My eyes flashed over the District 2 male from that year and I swallowed deeply. Aldrich. That was the man that had killed my mother. There was a note under his name that was only two words. Two words that rocked me to my core. _Not again_.

Tears were brimming in my eyes as I looked up to Haymitch. He had actually worked to keep my parents alive. I couldn't believe that he had tried so hard to keep them alive. He hadn't done half of that when I had come to him. Or had he? Maybe he had done it without letting me ever see it. I wiped the tears from my eyes and let the file fall into my lap. I looked up to Haymitch and sighed deeply. He gave me a weak smile and took the glass from my hands. I let him and watched as he set it down on the table, proud that he hadn't downed it himself.

"You kept these?" I asked with a shaky voice.

"Could never bring myself to get rid of them."

"When you were their Mentor you kept their records. You kept notes of all of this and made sure that you knew everything about them. You didn't do anything like this for me," I said.

He had the audacity to at least look ashamed. "No. I just remembered what you'd told me and I went from there," Haymitch admitted.

"You don't do this anymore then?"

"No."

"When did you stop?" I asked softly.

Haymitch looked up at me and grabbed the file from me. Some part of me never wanted to let it go. I wanted to hold onto it and have the file for the rest of my life. But the other part of me knew that it would only break my heart even more to keep it and look through everything. So I let the file go limply and fell back onto the couch. It was squishy and felt like it swallowed me whole. It was exactly what I needed right now. Maybe it was something that I always needed. I needed to know more about my parents, but some part of me had never wanted to know.

"When your mother died," Haymitch finally said.

"Oh," I muttered.

That must have meant that the other files scattered across the room were from the other Tributes that he had mentored before her. All long dead. "I just thought that she had it in her to live through the entire Games. I had her set up perfectly. Some Sponsors loved her because of the way that she looked, others for her personality, others for her skills, and a lot because they felt sympathy for her. I made sure that I had everyone lined up to save her life if she ever needed it," Haymitch said.

"You did the same thing for me," I said.

"Because of her. Because you reminded me so much of her."

"So you hated her too?"

A small hint of a smile appeared on her face. "No. I hate you much more," Haymitch said.

"Good. I don't want to think that you hated my mother."

"I didn't. She was one of the most loved Tributes that year. Just like you. I kept making sure that she knew that the Everdeen's were taking care of you."

They had all done a wonderful job protecting me. Until my life flew out of my hands. "Thank you. I didn't know that you did that," I said.

"She needed to know."

"I'm sure that she died knowing."

"I think she did. She was so skilled. I thought that she had everything that it took to win," Haymitch said with a weak look.

It shocked me that Haymitch was so torn up about my mother's death. I had never known that it had affected him so much. "What happened?" I asked.

He gave me a long stare, looking slightly surprised that I had spoken to him. "To your mother?" he asked.

"Yes. I - I never saw the tape," I stuttered slightly.

"What about your father?" Haymitch asked.

It was about time that I knew. I could take it. "I saw the tape of when my father died. Finnick gave it to me on one of the earlier nights in the Capitol. I watched it before my Games," I explained.

"You saw it then?"

"Yes."

"And?"

"Some part of me wishes that I had never seen it. I didn't want to see my father die. But I'm glad that I saw it. I needed to know. I never saw what happened to my mother."

"I never gave you that tape, did I?"

"No. Please, Haymitch. What happened to her?" I begged, hoping that he would tell me.

Haymitch looked at me with a sad stare for a moment before dropping his head. "She was at the end, Aspen," he muttered into his lap.

"I know that much."

"The arena was kind of like a desert but it had spots of dense forests too. Your mother spent most of her Games hiding in the forest. She had only killed one person that had stumbled across her during the day. I think it was the boy from District 6," he said.

Both she and my father had barely killed anyone. I had killed or had a hand in a large chunk of the deaths during my Games. Maybe that was why I was alive and they were not. "That's good," I muttered.

"At the end she stepped out into the desert. The boy from District 2 attacked her. She was able to fight him off for a while but she couldn't. He asked about you," Haymitch said.

My stomach knotted. That had to have hurt her. "What did he say?" I asked weakly.

"He asked her if she wanted to die before saying goodbye to you. She managed to stab him in the stomach while he was talking but he yanked it out and stabbed her. I couldn't believe it. Just because she had let go of the knife she had died."

"A careless mistake," I whispered.

"When you did it with Coral, when she let go of the knife, I knew that you were going to do the exact same thing. It was like watching her all over again. But this time you made it. It was like I'd finally made up for what had happened to her all of those years ago," Haymitch admitted.

Apparently I was just like my parents. What she had done to the male from District 2 was the same thing that I had done to Coral. Now I knew how her family felt. For a while the two of us sat in silence. I wasn't really sure if he was done talking and I knew that he wasn't really sure what to say to me. My stomach was churning painfully. I couldn't believe that a stupid little mistake like that had killed my mother. The one thing that I did know was that Haymitch blamed himself for what had happened to me. Losing my parents. Slowly I sat forward on the couch and covered Haymitch's hand with my own.

"Haymitch, I want you to know that I don't blame you," I said. His head rose slightly. "I don't think that I ever will. For whatever you thought that you did, you did not." He was not to blame here. The Capitol was. "She would thank you for everything that you had done for me."

"That's what I like to think. I was very fond of your mother."

"I think that I would have been fond of her too. I thank you. I've never really said it, but thank you."

Nothing I was saying was an exaggeration. I thanked him for everything that he had done for me. He was half of the reason that I was still alive. "Don't thank me, sweetheart. You're the one that did it," Haymitch said.

"I wasn't alone. Thank you for everything that you've done. I forgive you," I told him softly.

It had probably been the most heartfelt conversation that Haymitch and I had ever had and we were both uncomfortable. We weren't used to saying things like this. Neither one of us had ever really had people to be loving with. "You're a good kid, Aspen. Your parents would have been extremely proud of you," Haymitch said.

I liked to think that they would have been proud of me. "Thank you," I whispered.

"I promise you that. I'm proud of you."

My smile grew. Another thing that he had never really said to me before. I knew that I made Haymitch proud but it felt better to actually hear it. "Really?" I asked.

"Really. Don't get a big head about it."

"You'd be there to knock me down if I did."

"You're a pain in my ass, sweetheart," Haymitch added.

"Thanks," I snapped.

We both laughed at each other a moment later. I had known that he wouldn't be able to stay serious for too long but it didn't bother me. This was the way that I was most comfortable with. Pretending that things weren't as bad as they really were. Seeing things that way that they really were only stressed me out even more than I already was. And that was not something that I needed right now. I watched him pour himself another drink. He downed it quickly and I laughed. Like the true drunk that he was.

"You know you're a pain in my ass too but I wouldn't trade you for the world," I said.

Haymitch raised his empty glass to me. "Feeling's mutual, sweetheart," Haymitch said.

"I should get going. I promised Prim that I would help her plant the new herbs or whatever it is that she's growing," I said.

"Have fun."

But I knew that he didn't really mean it. He didn't care what I was doing as long as it kept me off of his case. So I got up and stood from the couch. Lately I had gone to help Prim in her gardens after my visits with Haymitch. If nothing else it was for a little peace and quiet. She would be out of school and winding down for the day. A lot of the times we wouldn't talk to each other or say anything but just enjoy the company. Sometimes it was nicer than talking. As I walked towards the door I heard the little tinkling of glass behind me.

"Do not pick up that glass! You've already had the two drinks that you're allotted in the morning," I hissed back at Haymitch.

I could still hear his little growl. "Yeah, yeah, I won't," he promised.

The first few times that I had come over to his house he would already be well past drunk. It hadn't taken me a long time to get sick of him slurring his words and falling all over the place. I had put him on a morning drink limit, which he had not appreciated but he had actually followed reasonably well. Although I was sure that every day once I left he picked up the glass and made up for his lost time. I rolled my eyes at him. I knew better than to just believe what he promised me. But I had other things to take care of.

"Just get the hell out of here! Go play house or whatever you're doing," Haymitch said.

"Do you want to watch the reading of the card at our house?" I asked Haymitch before I could leave.

There a brief silence. "No. Be with your family," Haymitch said.

It had to be a sore spot with him, since he had competed in the last Quarter Quell. "Okay. See you later," I said.

"Leave."

That just figured that he wanted me to leave. He would only let me be around and be nice for so long before ordering me to leave. Walking out of his house, I crossed back past the huge fountain that sat in the middle of Victor's Village and shook my head. It had finally begun to flow again since the snow had melted. Sometimes I got the overwhelming urge to jump in it. Just to do something because I could. But Thread would probably shoot me for it. Just to laugh as he watched the red run into the water. I shivered and kept walking, despite the warm air.

The District was now starting to get a little warmer. Not much, but just enough. Enough to normally go hunting again. But with the fence electrified I had to stay at home. But I'd found a little patch of woods behind the house. They weren't electrified since it was only a little forest area. There were no animals but it was nice to slip into them from time to time. The fence was about a hundred feet back into those woods so I got some time to slink around in them.

Had I thought that I was good with knives before, I would have been dead wrong. The constant practicing had gotten me to the point where I never missed. Not once. I was also seasoned with heavier and lighter weighted knives too. Clove's death had paid as a reminder that I had to be good at everything. With the extra practice, I was just as good as Katniss with the bow and arrows. She was still a little faster than me with aiming and firing but I was catching up to her. I could only hope that I would be just as good as her with a little more practice. I had also gotten back into wrestling with Gale recently.

Not that we had much time, but he worked with me when he could spare. The first few times hadn't gone over well. He would knock me over or I would knock him over and suddenly it would be like I was back in the arena. I would panic and shout, flailing for him to let go of me, thinking that he was a bloodthirsty Tribute. Every time Katniss and Gale wouldn't want me to do it again but I had forced them to keep going. I wouldn't let my fear rule me. I would beat it. It had been nearly three months after the Victory Tour that I had made it through a full fight. Just after Gale had healed. I had won over Gale but just barely.

Katniss hadn't been there. She had been taking care of a sick Prim. We were supposed to be looking for herbs to clear her sinuses in out little field. We had found them eventually. On our walk back I had seen the way that he looked at me, like he was waiting for me to snap. Finally I had asked him what was wrong and he had told me. I'd looked like I was ready to kill him during the fight. He'd thought that I might. The revelation had hurt but he was right. I would get into the mindset that I was fighting for my life during our matches. It was hard for me to get out of that mindset. It was the way that I always felt and I had every reason to.

Shaking my head, I realized that I had won almost all of my fights with Gale. Not that it was easy. He was still much stronger than me and knew more moves than I did. But he was helpful. Mostly because I knew that he wasn't letting me win. He knew that I would have stabbed him if he had let me win. It used to be he always beat me, but now I beat him two-thirds of the time. Things had changed a lot in the past year. As I walked up to my house I saw that Prim was leaning in the yard and I grinned at her.

"Hey, Prim," I called out.

She looked back at me with a small smile. "Hi, Aspen," she called back.

She was covered in dirt and I laughed lightly. "You look like you've been out here for a while," I said.

"Just an hour or so."

"I thought I told you that I would come and get you when I got back and we would do this together."

Prim shrugged her shoulders at me and I sighed. Where was the weak little creature that I had saved from the Hunger Games almost a year ago? She was gone. She was so much stronger. Perhaps it was the training to be a medic. She was sometimes even stronger than me these days. But she had been so empty since I had saved her during the last Reaping. It was pretty rare that I saw the little girl that I had known almost a year ago. I missed her. I crouched down beside her and sat my heels into the dirt.

"It's okay, Aspen," Prim said.

"I would have helped. I wanted to help."

"I wanted to at least get started while you were busy since there was nothing else that I could do."

"Well I know how annoying it is to feel useless."

That was when I realized that she knew that I had meant after being attacked by the wolf mutt. Thankfully she skipped it. "I couldn't really sleep anymore so I decided to get up and get started," she continued.

I lifted my head up to her. She was a typical kid, she slept in to the late morning all the time. As far as I knew. "Since when did you have trouble sleeping?" I asked.

"Just a while," Prim muttered. "It means that we can get through planting these faster. Can you hand me the squash seeds?"

"Sure."

I turned back and stared at the seeds that all looked the same to me. "That one," Prim said, pointing to a seed that looked like pumpkin seeds. She giggled as I made a stupid snort.

"Right," I said dumbly.

Her laugh was light and it made me feel a little better. It was a sound that I would never get over hearing. "You'd think you would know that by now," Prim teased.

"Plants and seeds are not my thing," I said. I turned back to her and handed over the large seeds. "Here you go."

"Thanks," she said, before burying them under the dirt.

We sat in silence for a moment before a burning curiosity struck me. I moved in towards Prim slightly and smiled when I saw that her brows were knitted in frustration. "So what's up, kid?" I asked.

"What do you mean?"

"I mean, why can't you sleep? I've known you all of your life and I've never known you to have any sleeping problems before. I mean, you could sleep through a damn tornado," I said lightly.

"I wasn't that bad," Prim said.

"You were a little bad," I teased.

She laughed for a moment and I smiled. At least she still had a little bit of her old humor. That was a relief. She finally fell silent and I looked at her with a sharp stare. "It started when you went into the Games," Prim said.

My heart dropped. "Oh," I muttered.

I was glad that she told me the truth but it hurt to think that this was my fault. No, not my fault, the Capitol's. "I started to dream that you were dying, and in the worst ways, too. I just kept thinking that it was my fault. Whatever was going to happen to you was my fault," she said.

None of what I went through was her fault. I went voluntarily. "No, Prim. Nothing that happened to me was your fault. I promise you that," I said sharply.

"Maybe," Prim whispered. "Then you came back and the nightmares went away."

At least I had done something good for her. "That's good. I'm glad to hear that," I told her honestly.

"But they came back when I saw that you really weren't the same person. You were so much more on edge and you always looked angry with me."

My head dropped. "Hey. I'm not angry with you. Never," I promised.

"I didn't want you to hate me," Prim said softly.

Her eyes were locked onto the garden and I shook my head. She was not going to think that this whole thing was her fault. It was not. Nothing was her fault. Everything was because of them. The two of us had done nothing. The uprisings, everything that was happening, it wasn't my fault and it wasn't hers. The only person or people that could be blamed for anything, including my own misery, were the people in the Capitol. President Snow, particularly.

"Hey, you look at me," I said, grabbing her arms. She looked up to me and I saw that she had tears brimming in her eyes. "Don't cry, sweetie. Don't cry." I wiped them from her eyes. She couldn't think that this was all her fault. "I do not and I never will hate you. You are one of the most important things in my life."

"You're important to me too," Prim said, sniffling weakly.

I couldn't believe that she had thought that I hated her. I loved her and I always would. "That's why I volunteered for you. If I hated you I would have never done anything. I would have just let your sister go. But I love you both. That's why I stepped forward," I explained.

"I know," Prim said, already well-aware that everything that I was saying was the truth.

"I know that I've been on edge lately, but it's hard not to be. I'm dealing with a lot Prim, you understand that?"

"I know."

"Things are just tough right now. But they'll get back to normal eventually, right?"

"Yes."

"Now you never think that what happened to me was your fault. Everything that happened to me was my own fault," I said.

She coughed a few times. Patting her gently on the back I handed her a small glass of water that she had brought with her. Once she had downed it she dropped the cup and turned back to me with a desperate look. "But I was the reason that you went into the Games in the first place," Prim said.

"Maybe so. But I went in there on my own accord. To keep you safe. Understand?"

"I understand."

"And I would do it a thousand times over to keep you safe."

"Please don't."

"I don't intend to."

"What do you mean that everything that happened to you was your own fault?" she finally asked.

Everything was my fault because I kept doing stupid things. Things that I should have known were only going to come back and bite me in the ass. Haymitch was right, I was sweet and I was tough, but I wasn't always very smart. In fact, I was probably one of the least intelligent people that I had ever met. And there was a good chance that this new uprising was pretty much completely my fault. I had a knack for doing stupid things.

"There were a lot of things that I could have done differently," I finally said.

"What's that?"

"I could have completely avoided Cato. Maybe I should have done that."

"But you love him."

"Yes. I do. But it definitely would have made things easier on me and everyone else. I certainly do love him but I could have made things better if I hadn't spoken to him. I made the dumb decision to go into the Cornucopia and I got hurt because of it. I said rude things to Seneca Crane and President Snow that I shouldn't have. I should have hidden for the Games."

She cringed. I knew I shouldn't have been reminiscing on the Games, but Prim needed to hear this. Once and for all. "But you had to move," she said.

"I know. But understand the point, Prim. Everything that happened to me was my fault, Prim. Nothing was yours. Promise me that you will never think that anything that happened to me was your fault," I said, leaving no room for her to argue with me.

She was silent for a moment and I hoped that I wouldn't have to fight her on this. I was done with fighting. I had fought enough for twenty lifetimes. "I promise," she finally said.

"Thank you, Prim."

"Aspen, you're going to go back to the Capitol when the next Games comes around, right?" she asked.

"Yes," I said, wishing that she hadn't said anything. I had almost forgotten about the announcement of the next Games in a few hours.

"I wish that you didn't have to go. I wish that just Haymitch would go."

Her words made me laugh. Pulling her into me I placed a kiss on her forehead. She looked up at me and gave me a little smile, one that I hadn't seen in a long time. "You know what? I wish that too. I'd like to see Haymitch with another two kids. They certainly wouldn't have been as annoying at me," I said.

"But you're not annoying."

"According to Haymitch, I'm one of the most annoying people on the planet."

"He doesn't have much of a tolerance for people."

"No. He doesn't. But about the Capitol, I don't really have a choice. Unfortunately the only thing that I can do right now is hope that I have some talented Tributes to take care of," I said.

That was all that I could hope for at this point. It was all that any of us could hope for. Prim nodded slowly at me. It made me sick to think that only one of those kids could go home, if either. Things would be tough to go back to normal with only one Victor being able to win from now on. I knew that after what Cato and I had done people were pushing for a two Victor rule. I could only imagine how upset President Snow was right now.

"The Reaping is two months from now and they announce what the special twist is for these Games in a few hours," I said.

"I know," she said.

The whole District was under a cloud as we waited for the miserable twist that would be coming to light in a few hours. "I pity the poor souls that have to compete in it this year," I said softly.

But then that just made me wonder how many people had pitied me last year. How many people had sighed when they'd seen me walk on that stage almost a year ago? For a few minutes I watched as Prim pulled out some seeds from a plant that I had never seen before. I was sure that Finch would have known what everything was. The thought sent a pang through my chest. I missed her. She was the one person that had convinced me not to give up on Cato. She had proved herself to be a good friend in just a few days. Before she had taken her own life...

"The people that get Reaped this year with you as their Mentor, they have no idea how lucky they are," Prim finally said.

I looked up at her, not sure if I had missed something that she had said earlier. "Thanks, Prim."

"They have the best person that they could have ever hoped for."

The words were a sweet gesture but they still put me on edge. They weren't lucky. They were anything but. Just like me, they would be some of the unluckiest people in Panem. The lucky ones died in the arena. They didn't have to live with the consequences of what they had done. They had no memories of what they had done. They got to go into a permanent sleep. I wondered if things were better on the other side. I gave Prim a weak smile and pushed up onto the balls of my feet.

"Thanks, kid. It means the world to me that at least one of you still has faith in me," I told her honestly.

"I'll always have faith in you," Prim said.

"I know that everyone does. But they don't have faith that I'm still the same strong girl. They think that I'm about ready to fall apart at the seams," I said with a sad sigh.

They weren't necessarily wrong. Sometimes I did feel like I was about to fall apart at the seams. We sat in silence for another moment before I stood slightly. Prim followed me up and I grinned at her. She was nearly my height now. She was probably only two or three inches shorter than me at this point. In another year or two she would probably pass me in height. She would start to catch up to her sister.

"I know that you're still strong," Prim said.

I smiled. I liked to think that I was still strong. "Thanks, sweetie," I said.

"You always will be," she added.

"Glad to know that someone has faith."

Despite the fact that Katniss and Gale always said that they had faith in me I knew that they had some reservations. But not Prim. She was the one person that always had blind faith in me. That was the child in her coming out to play. It made me a little afraid for her but I was glad that someone would always have faith in me. I pulled her in for a hug and the two of us stayed in the embrace for a moment before I let her go and took a step back.

"Hey, kiddo, I'm gonna head out for a little while, okay?" I asked.

"Sure. Where are you going?" she asked, giving me a curious look.

I smiled at her and motioned back to the entrance of Victor's Village. "I'm gonna go take a walk or something before they announce what these Games are. I think I need to clear my head and get ready for whatever the hell it is that they have come up with," I told her.

"Okay."

I knew that she didn't want to argue with me on that one. She knew that I needed to take a break from reality. "Why don't you head back inside and I'll make tea when I get back?" I offered.

"Sounds good. See you later."

"I'll be back soon."

The two of us exchanged one more hug before she let me go and picked her stuff up. Sighing at our little conversation, I turned away from her and headed for the exit of the housing area. I was sure that Gale would be out on the walk somewhere but I wasn't quite sure where I would find him. I missed him, not having spoken to him much since the whipping post incident. Except for that night in my bedroom, but I was mostly high on whatever medicine that Ms. Everdeen had given me. I knew that he felt bad for me getting hit in the face and I knew that he was angry with me for not returning his feelings in the meantime.

But I didn't want him to just think that I had given up on him. I loved Gale and I wanted him to know that maybe things would have been different had I never have gone into the Games. But much would have been different. Some things for the worse. Despite the fact that I didn't want to think about it, I knew that it was better that I had gone into the Games. That didn't mean though that it didn't break my heart that things had changed so much since I had gone in. Between my friends and me, and for everyone else.

Knowing that I wasn't focused enough to head into our new little woods for a quick hunt, I went into town, since the Hob had been destroyed. Maybe I could pick up something for Prim. Make up for not getting her anything for her birthday. I missed the smell of the food and the sound of the loud trades. It was something that made District 12 home. It was one of the things that would kill me to leave once I got married to Cato. But if it meant that my friends would live long and happy lives I would be perfectly content never setting foot in District 12 again. I would do anything to save them. And that was what scared them.

But it didn't matter. I was going to save them. No matter what happened, I was going to save them. As I stepped into the town trading center, I gave everyone a small smile. Some of the people from the Hob had started up little posts here but they had been forced to raise their prices to the normal prices, which made it almost impossible for anyone in the District to afford anything that they sold. It was nice to see that there were a number of people that would normally be in the Hob in the trading center. I walked past Greasy Sae and smiled at the old woman.

She really was sweet. She was just a little strange. As I walked past her, I ran straight into a man. He stumbled back from me and I cried out softly when I nearly went toppling over him. He grabbed me to keep me steady and held me close to his chest. I nearly yanked myself away from the man before I looked up and realized who it was that had caught me. Gale was standing over me, giving me a fond smile. Shocked by his sudden change in behavior, I stood in front of him, not bothering to movie in the slightest.

"Hey, Tiger," Gale said, dropping his hands from my arm. I didn't miss the way that his fingers wrapped around my own briefly.

"Hi, Gale."

"I thought that I might find you either out here or in you new little woods. I'm a little surprised that you're here," he said, without taking a step back.

"Just needed to get some fresh air."

"I would have thought that you would want to shoot or something today."

He was laughing softly at me. It was the first time that I had heard him laugh in a long time. Gale had never made me nervous, not ever, except for right now. He had been angry with me before, plenty of times at that, but I had never been afraid. It was now that he was standing above me with a little smile that unnerved me the most. He had barely said anything to me the past few months, so it made me cautious that he looked so happy to see me.

"Gale," I breathed out pathetically, hoping that I could come up with something better than that.

"Last I checked," he said.

"I thought about going out to the woods for a while but I can't really keep my focus. I probably wouldn't even hit anything. So I came here to look around. Maybe find something to get Prim."

"Want some help?" Gale offered.

"Sure. But of course I could get her anything that I wanted to get her. I have the money for it," I said bitterly.

This was not the way that I wanted to be able to afford anything that I needed. I would rather be poor again. It was something that I'd thought about a number of times. Shrugging his shoulders, Gale nodded at me and walked me out of the main path. We stood off to the side behind Greasy Sae's stand and I swallowed a lump in my throat. The last thing that I needed right now was to run off and ignore Gale. That wouldn't help us at all.

"Well if you're offering to buy everyone something I did see this nice hunting knife at that back counter," Gale said.

I gave a little smile. This was his way of saying that he was sorry for not speaking to me lately. "Is that so?" I asked.

"It was just a little out of my price range but I thought that since you do have money you could always..." he began to trail off.

I laughed and shook my head at him. "Can it," I said.

We both laughed before I shoved him away from me. He laughed back at me but stayed standing close. Close enough to make me wonder if something was wrong. Other than what I already knew about. "Come on, Tiger," Gale prompted.

"I'm not buying you anything that you don't need," I said with a little giggle.

"Well you're no fun," he said.

I heard his stomach growl and felt my face fall. Was he really that hungry? I hadn't been helping Gale hunt but I had thought that the food we were giving him was enough. What about the rest of his family? "But I will buy you dinner," I said.

"Aspen..." Gale started.

"Tell me what you want. There's not much around here but I'll take anything that you want," I offered.

He shook his head at me and I growled. "No. I'm fine," he said.

Whether he wanted it or not he was going to let me buy him something. I may not have been on the best terms with Gale right now but that didn't mean that I was going to let him starve. He was still my best friend. "Gale. Shut up. Let me buy you something," I snapped.

"Thanks," he muttered.

"You're welcome."

"You're right, I guess I won't be seeing you tonight."

"Probably not."

"Aspen, you know that I can come and sit with you guys while they announce what the Quarter Quell is," he said.

My heart twisted. I wasn't sure if I wanted him to be there for that. I wasn't even sure if I wanted the Everdeen's there but it was their home. And they would know something was wrong if I wanted to watch it alone. But I wanted to be able to react appropriately and that meant that for now, while everyone was awake, I would have to shut my mouth and pretend that it didn't affect me.

"It doesn't have to just be your family. We can all come over and sit with you. If you want we could invite Haymitch too," he offered.

"I already talked to Haymitch. He doesn't want to come. He's kind of a solitary kind of guy."

"And me?"

Giving him a small smile I shook my head. It was nice to know that at least he still loved me and cared for me. But somehow I knew that his feelings towards me would never change. "I appreciate that, Gale, but I'd rather it just be Katniss, Prim, Ms. Everdeen, and myself," I said.

His grin faded but he nodded anyways. "Okay," Gale muttered. I was sure that he knew exactly how I felt about today.

It seemed that he probably felt just about the same. "Eat dinner with your family and be with them tonight. Cherish the time that you have with them," I said with a sad sigh.

He was so lucky to have his family. Even if he no longer had his father. "Alright, Tiger," Gale said.

"Come see me tomorrow?" I asked.

Gale nodded at me and grabbed my hand. I wanted to pull back slightly but I kept my hands in his. Because he was just so familiar. And because I had hurt him enough. I had hurt him far more than he deserved. His thumb stroked my hand and I thought about how similar they were to Cato's. Cato's were just a little bit bigger and rougher. But Gale's were dirtier. They showed who was the more privileged of the two.

"I will, Tiger."

"Thank you."

"But I want to cherish the time that I have with you too," he said.

My heart lifted. I was glad that he wasn't mad at me and the use of my childhood nickname still got to me. "We still have plenty of time together," I said, even though my impending wedding would likely separate us forever.

"I know that this won't be easy for you. And you know that too, right?" he asked.

"Of course," I said, even though it had been rhetorical.

"I just want you to be happy while you're still here," Gale said softly.

I gave Gale a small smile before stepping forward and bringing him into a hug. He laughed and pulled me closer to him so that I could hear his heart beating. It was always something that had relaxed me. I loved hearing the sound of Gale's heart beating. It was the same way that I liked to hear Cato's heart beating when we fell asleep at night. He planted a small kiss on the top of my head and I grinned. I needed to know that he was still with me.

"You know that I'm not sure if I'll ever be the same happy girl that I was before the last Games," I said.

Gale let go of me. I gave a small shrug and moved to Greasy Sae's booth, looking over the food that she had. "I know," Gale muttered.

"I'm trying but I don't know how things will ever go back to normal," I said. He was standing behind me. "Hey, what do you think about some deer meat?"

"Deer meat works," Gale said, as I checked the price.

"I'm surprised that they actually have some," I said.

"Me too," Gale admitted.

"Hey, Sae, mind if I buy this?" I asked the older woman with a small smile.

Greasy Sae gave a small smile and I nearly laughed. She was such a sweetheart with a family that seemed to always be wandering every corner of District 12. The Capitol people would be horrified if they could see what the sweet old lady looked like. She had never once been enhanced and it made her ten times better than them. If only they knew that. She had a wrinkled face and her hair was gray and brittle. But we couldn't really tell anymore. She had it tied up with a bandanna almost every day.

"Sweetheart, I think that you and Abernathy are the only ones around here that can actually pay for the entire thing," she said.

"You're probably right about that," I said, laughing.

Even the merchants wouldn't be able to afford a whole deer. Maybe half, but not the whole thing. Haymitch and I were the only people who could buy everything in the Hob - before it had burned down, that was. "I was intending on just giving people little cuts of it but just take the whole thing," Greasy Sae said.

"Thanks. I'll take the lot."

"How are you doing, Aspen?" she asked.

"I'm doing alright," I said, paying up and watching as Gale put the meat into little bags.

"It's been a while since I've seen you around," Greasy Sae said softly, prodding me for answers.

Finally I looked up at her and saw the slightly concerned face that she wore. She was a good grandmother. Her grandchildren were lucky. I hoped that she knew that. "Well, trust me, I've just been busy. No one really seems to want to see me these days," I said.

"We do," Greasy Sae said.

"Thanks. I've been meaning to come through lately but I just keep getting busy with other things," I said with a nonchalant shrug.

I hoped that she believed me but I didn't really care. It only mattered so much, what the old woman knew about me and how I was really doing. "Well come by more often. I like seeing you," Greasy Sae said.

I dug through my bag and found the money that she was asking for the deer. "Thanks. Here you go. Keep the change," I said.

"Thanks, Aspen."

"You're welcome. And I've been okay, Sae, thanks for asking," I said honestly.

Most people just steered clear of me now, but she still cared. "Of course," Greasy Sae said.

"You know, I wish that this would all end but I know that it never will. Every year they're going to drag me out there, back into the limelight," I said.

She nodded at me, clearly understanding what I meant. "Maybe one day things will calm down," she said, looking around.

"We'll see. Thanks for the deer, I'll see you soon," I said before turning away.

As I walked I heard Gale thank Sae before dashing around. I knew that he was running after me, trying to get back to me. I had hoped that he might let me go but I wasn't surprised that he wasn't going to give up on me. By now I really did want some time to be to myself. But I knew that he wasn't going to let me have it. Gale ran up to my side and I didn't bother to look at him. I wasn't sure if I would like the look on his face if I did look at him.

"Talk to me, Aspen," he said softly as we headed out of the market.

Risking a glance back at Gale I saw that he was looking at me with a concerned face. Pretending like it wasn't fazing me at all I smiled at nudged him lightly as we walked. "I thought that's what we were doing?" I teased with a little laugh.

"Aspen -"

"Or do I have a different interpretation of talking than you do?" I continued, hoping that he would joke around with me.

But that would have been too easy. We walked out of the Hob and Gale gave me a little glare. He pushed me off of the path and I shouted lightly when he pushed me back into a tree. That was definitely not what I was expecting. Gale was looking at me with a seething glare and I found myself actually afraid of him at the moment. What the hell had I done to him in the past few minutes? He sighed and dropped his head at me. He was still pushing me back against the tree and bark was digging into my back, but it was almost like I couldn't feel it. I had felt much worse.

"Come on, take this seriously," Gale told me desperately.

My heart broke. He deserved better than what I was giving him. "I am, Gale. I am," I whispered.

"You know what I mean. I want to know what you're thinking about this whole thing."

"How scared I am," I interrupted quickly.

"Stop it. You know that tonight they say what these next Games are going to be. The Reaping is only two months away."

"I know that."

"You have to be there up on the stage."

"I know that."

"After that you go to the Capitol to train more kids to be in the Games."

"I know that!"

"So tell me what you think," Gale ordered.

I wasn't sure what came over me but suddenly a white hot anger flashed and I shoved Gale. He took a step back and came to stand back in front of me. I knew that my shove had startled him but he wasn't afraid of me. He never would be. "What do you want me to say Gale?" I asked.

"The truth."

"That I'm terrified? Yes, I'm scared out of my fucking mind," I snapped. I saw that Gale was conflicted over whether he should stop me or not. "What the hell can I even tell these kids? Don't make fires in the middle of the night, you'll draw Tributes to you. Don't get into the middle of the Cornucopia fight, you'll die. They won't have someone to save them like I did."

A brief anger passed over Gale's features. He would always hate Cato. "You didn't have someone to save you," Gale said.

"As much as I hate to admit it, I did. He saved my life. What else can I tell them? Don't talk to any Tributes, it makes it harder. Save your energy. Watch out for any mutts, they suck. Crap like that? Those are just standard things to say," I hissed.

It wasn't Gale that I was angry with, I was just angry with the entire situation. Gale walked up and pressed me back into the tree. My breath caught in my throat as he leaned down to me with a serious look in his eyes. This is not what I need right now. "That is exactly what you tell them, Aspen. You went through these Games and you won," he said.

I didn't win. The people who died, they won. They were the ones that didn't have to live with what they had done. They didn't have to play the new games. "Barely," I muttered.

"Obviously you know a thing or two about what to do in the arena."

"Because we're used to surviving out here. Most of the District isn't."

"They'll have a few days to learn. You tell those kids what they need to do. Teach them to do the same things that you did in the arena."

For the past few months I had tried to tell myself that I would have lived on my own but I knew that it wasn't the truth. I would have died if Cato hadn't been there to save me. "Gale, you don't get it!" I screamed.

"Get what?" Gale asked, staying planted in front of me.

"I wouldn't even be here if it weren't for Cato," I said.

There was a flicker of emotion shooting through his eyes but I wasn't sure what it was. "Yes, you would," Gale said.

"No, I wouldn't have! He screwed with me a lot before the Games started and he probably caused a lot of problems for me. But in the Games he saved me time after time. If nothing else, the wolf mutt would have killed me. Or the infection. I lived because of him. What can I tell those kids?"

"How to survive, Aspen. You know how."

"Maybe, but it didn't help. You know what I have to say to them? Just rely on some guy to protect you through the Games and you'll be fine?" I asked.

In all honestly I knew that I was exaggerating the truth slightly. Gale shook his head at me and leaned down slightly. He was still towering over me but it wasn't quite the staggering difference that it had been before. He, like Cato, stood over a foot taller than me. That wasn't surprising. I wasn't very tall. Or intimidating. It was a wonder that even with Cato's help I had won the Games.

"Aspen, you would have won those Games no matter what. Cato did help you but you lived on your own will," he said, his fingers running down my arms.

Against my free will I thought back to the night that Cato and I had shared, and the way that he had run his fingers over my body. A blush threatened to rise on my face but I forced it down. That was not a conversation that I wanted to have with Gale. He seemed ignorant of my sudden discomfort and continued talking, much to my pleasure.

"You're stronger than you think and those kids know that."

"I'm not that strong, Gale."

"You are. You will be able to help them and I know that one of them will make it out of the Games with your help."

"What if I can't?" I begged.

There was no use arguing with him. "You can. I know that you can. Just like I said the first time, you have what it takes. To be a Victor and a Mentor. But you seem more upset than that. What else is it?" Gale asked, backing off of me slightly.

My shoulders hung limply and I shrugged. I was always upset these days. I just fought to make sure that no one else could see. "I don't know, Gale. I just don't want to go back," I said.

He nodded at me. I could only say so much about this. He couldn't know everything. For his own, and every Capitol citizen's, safety. "It's only for a few days, Aspen," Gale said.

"Feels like I'll be there forever. I feel like every time I go back there the people just try to push me and see how far they can go before I snap. And I think I'm starting to get close to that point," I said.

He smiled slightly. "You're stronger than that," Gale said.

"Thank you. I'm just hoping that this time they will have a new star Tribute to talk about rather than me," I told him.

They needed a new Girl on Fire. I was sick of being theirs. Even though I knew that the Star-Crossed Lovers bit would never get old to them. They loved it. They always would. Until the day that we died. And even then they would probably just do the reruns forever. Gale sighed and shrugged his shoulders. That was typical of Gale. He was good to get you talking but he had no idea what to say once you had told him the problem. It was something that made him different from Cato.

"I'm sure after a while your story will start to get a little old to them," Gale said.

"It will never get old. They love it."

"Now that's not true. They can only hear the same things about your relationship with your fiancé so many times," he said.

It was somewhat bitterly. Our relationship seemed to be the only driving factor behind the Games. But, of course, that had also been what had saved us. "They'll want to hear about it forever, Gale," I said.

"Maybe not. But I guess once you guys get married things will get even bigger. The whole thing will be the biggest party of the year," he said, with an angry scoff.

Of course he was still angry. He was right, actually, but that wasn't something that I was ready to talk about yet. I could tell that the thought of Cato and I getting married was driving him insane but I wasn't in the mood to debate it with him. I was getting married to Cato and nothing was stopping it now. It was the only reason that the both of us were alive right now. It was the one thing that I could thank the Capitol for. They had at least given me someone to love.

"Gale, I thought that we were done talking about this. Cato and I are getting married and there is nothing that will stop it. Certainly not your disdain for him," I said. He gave a sharp laugh. Scowling at him, I pushed him back from me slightly. "This is going to happen."

"When?" Gale asked.

"Probably shortly after the Games."

"And then what?"

"I move to District 2. Snow told me as much."

"Really?" Gale asked.

"I have to. I do love you and you know that. Just the same way that I love the Everdeen's," I said, with a deep breath.

In the back of my mind I knew that he wouldn't like that, but he had to know that was the truth. Even if I really was in love with him, I wouldn't be able to think about that. For his own safety I couldn't. Gale laughed and shook his head, walking away from me slightly. My stomach dropped and I sighed, knowing that I had hurt him. But it was better than him being dead. That was the only thing that I could tell myself right now when it came to things like that.

"Yeah. Just the same way that you love them," Gale said bitterly.

"Gale. Please don't do that," I whispered.

"Tell me, Aspen," Gale said, whirling around on me. "Do you really want to marry him?"

My mouth dropped open. Had he really just asked me that? "Gale... Stop. Please," I muttered.

"You had only talked about the fact that you thought that you were in love with him. You had never once said anything about marrying him. And then all of a sudden you come back here and you're engaged. Is it all just because of Snow? What happened?" Gale asked.

My heart began to beat erratically. He knew that something was off. He knew that I hadn't done enough and he knew that his own life was now in even more danger. I had hoped that I could pull this off but everything was slowly falling apart. There were so many things that I could say. I could tell him yes and say that it was a sudden decision that I knew I was right in making. I could say no but I wasn't sure that lying was right. I didn't mind marrying Cato, but I didn't want to do it now. Gale was standing a few feet away from me and he was watching me with a piercing stare. I knew that I couldn't lie to him. Not really.

"I don't really know. I just know that being married to him is something that has to happen. There is nothing that can change that," I said. He nodded, looking slightly pleased. But I wasn't done. "I wasn't sure that I wanted to get married this soon but I realized something recently. I love him more than anything and I want to be with him. I love you, Gale, but we can never happen. I'm sorry."

For a moment Gale had a straight face. The last thing that I needed was for him to turn away from me and pretend like I didn't exist. "I don't think that I believe you," Gale said. What did he not believe? That I loved Cato? I had thought that I made that pretty clear.

"I don't know what you mean," I said.

"I think that it isn't you talking. Not really. You do love me, but I know that you love him too," he said. I shook my head. I only loved Cato. Romantically, at least. Or that was what I kept telling myself. "The marriage wasn't your choice. You said so yourself and I can see it. You are still torn between the two of us."

He was right, but he couldn't know that. "I'm not, Gale," I said, very unconvincingly.

"One day you're going to have to make a choice you know," he said darkly.

Stepping forward I met Gale at his chest. He looked surprised that I was standing so close to him and it made me roll my eyes at him. He always thought that I was a sheep when I knew that I was a lion. The Capitol had actually helped me in that way. Gale knew that too but he tried to convince me otherwise. He wanted me to be a cowardly little girl that needed to be protected, but I would never be that girl. Not again. Not after what I had been through.

"I have a lot of choices to make right now. More than you know about," I snapped. He took a step back but his glare was still settled on me nicely. Shaking my head I looked off into the direction of the Capitol and continued to talk. "Those are the choices that are in my mind right now. I don't have the time to think about my relationship status. There are so much bigger things right now to deal with then us."

Gale pulled me over to him and I finally looked back with a blank face. Gale grabbed my hand with a soft grip that I had never felt before. Even Cato's grip was tight. It was like he was holding onto me like he thought that he was going to lose me all the time. Gale grabbed me like he was afraid that I was going to run at any moment. Both of those fears were completely rational.

"You're right. I know that you're right," Gale said.

"Thank you," I muttered, glad that he saw it my way.

"There are bigger things to be dealing with right now and I'm not helping by dumping that stuff on you."

"You're right."

"Go back home and keep calm when they announce everything. Just know that you aren't going to go back into those Games."

"That's what I have to keep telling myself."

"You're safe now. You just have to help other kids now. Be their savior."

"I'll try. Gale? I do love you. You know that."

Gale smiled slightly and pressed a kiss into my hair. "I know, Aspen. I love you too."

But I would never love him like that. I couldn't. Not in this kind of world. We stood in silence for a moment before Gale grabbed my hand and led me back onto the path back to my home. As we walked I let the breeze settle over me and I cherished the silence that Gale and I were in. Normally I was talking to someone and trying to convince them that I was doing alright. The silence was nice for once. It was something that I didn't get often these days. It was just two friends taking a stroll around the District. If only that was the way that things could still be.

About halfway into Victor's Village I noticed that Gale had never let go of my hand, and I had never pulled away from him. Maybe it felt good just to have some comfort again. Slowly I let my hand fall from his as we stepped up to the fountain and I pulled him into an embrace. We stood locked together for a moment before he pulled away and planted a small kiss on my cheek. I grinned and laughed lightly before patting him on the shoulder and turning away. Without even turning back I knew that he watched me until I was safely inside my house. That was the kind of man that Gale was.

Back at home, Ms. Everdeen was in the kitchen, clearly making something. Not wanting to bother her I slipped past and headed through the living room. Prim was passed out on the couch and I smiled. She looked so peaceful when she was asleep. Like the little kid that she was. The little kid that she had never gotten the chance to be. I grabbed a blanket that was folded over the edge of the couch and laid it over her. She snuggled into it and I gave a fond smile when she blew out a little puff of air. Without waking up she rolled away from me on the couch and I decided to leave her be. Let her enjoy a little sleep while she could. Before she had to wake up to the horrors that were everyday life.

Turning away from the couch I headed to the stairs and bounded up them. It was under half an hour until the announcement of the next Games and I wanted to pretend that I had no idea what was going on. It was what I really needed right now. Throwing the door to my room open I saw that Katniss was sitting on my bed. I turned back to the door, checking to make sure that it was my room that I had walked into and not hers. But upon checking the hallway I saw that it was my room. What the hell was she doing in here? I hadn't even thought that she was home right now.

"Katniss. What are you doing up here?" I asked.

She stood from the bed and pulled me over to her. "I needed to talk to you," Katniss said.

"Okay. I haven't seen you all day. I thought that you were out in town today. I was thinking about heading out there myself," I mumbled, knowing that it was too late to do that.

She gave me a sweet smile and I did my best to return it. Katniss was a little stiff at times but that didn't mean that she wasn't a good person. She was a wonderful person that just had her own way of showing that she cared about people. It was one of the many things that I loved about her. She wasn't just some typical teenage girl. She was more like me than I had thought that she could ever be.

"I would much rather be out in the woods," Katniss growled.

"Me too."

"And I didn't think that it would be a very good idea to get out in town right now with all of the Peacekeepers, including Thread, out there walking around. Besides,we have food to keep us for the next few days," she said.

So that answered one of my questions. But she still hadn't told me what she was doing up here. "We have enough food in the house to last a lifetime," I said.

"That's true. And I wanted to come talk to you for a while. That's why I'm up here," Katniss said.

The thought nearly made me laugh. In the past we used to have little girl talks. We would slip out into the woods and talk for hours. She would tell me about the boy that she thought was cute in our class - which was a rare occurrence - and I would tell her about the boy that kept staring at me in class - which was much more common. It was the way that the conversations always went. But now things were different. When we had talks between just the two of us it usually meant that we were planning something. And that was almost never good.

"Alright, well you're up here and I'm back. So what's up? You look like you have something serious to say. If it is, can it wait?" I asked.

I saw the shock settle over her face. So maybe that wasn't the nicest way to put it. "How do you know?" Katniss asked.

"I don't know. I've just always been good at guessing."

"Yeah. You have."

"Not that I don't want to hear what you have to say but I've had just about enough seriousness for one day. Especially this close to the Games," I said.

I was sick of the drama for one day. My conversation with Gale had drained me for the day. Katniss gave me a little smile and I tilted my head at her. So maybe this wasn't a serious conversation. Maybe she wanted to gossip or something. Boy would I love to gossip. Just to take my mind off of things. But the kind of gossip that I knew was enough to get anyone killed. That was not a position that I could put her in.

"Sorry, but you might have to put up with one more serious conversation," Katniss said.

"Damn you," I teased.

She smiled. "Is it still too late to get out of here?"

"Like running away?"

"Yeah."

"Cat, it's far too late for that."

She grabbed my hand and I nearly yanked it back. I was sick of people grabbing me and asking me if I was okay. I was fine. I wasn't a little china doll. "I'm worried about you, Aspen," Katniss admitted.

"Join the club."

"They can do almost anything to you during these Games. The same rules that apply during the normal Games don't apply during the Quarter Quell."

"There aren't really rules in general. Just don't step off of the platform for sixty seconds and don't eat each other," I said.

We both gave each other a sharp glare. I didn't know what she was doing lecturing me about what happened during the Games. I knew what happened better than anyone. Calming my temper slightly, I sighed and gave Katniss a shake of my head. I had to make her feel like everything was okay. That seemed to be my job now. Make sure that everyone else was calm and happy while putting on a happy face myself, even though everything was slowly driving me insane. She seemed to notice my sudden change in demeanor and she let my hand drop.

"I know that you're nervous for the Games. Trust me, I'm nervous too," I said.

"I'd think you were crazy if you weren't."

"But unfortunately there really isn't much that I can do anymore. They are going to do whatever they want to me and at this point there is nothing that I can do to change it," I said.

It looked like she was having a hard time keeping silent. I was telling her the truth and she knew it. If Snow wanted me dead now, he was going to get his way eventually. "Are you sure?" Katniss asked.

"I'm sure. Maybe we should have run before but maybe its better that we didn't. The uprisings. We can help them."

"It's dangerous."

"I know, but leaving could have been worse. I mean, we could have gotten a lot of people killed just because of doing something like that. I'm sick of getting people killed," I said. with a sad stare.

Too many people were dead because of me. It looked like Katniss wanted to grab my hand again but I respected the fact that she didn't. She had no idea how much I appreciated that. "Aspen, there is nothing worse than you can do to yourself than to think that the deaths of everyone since the Games was your fault. It wasn't," she said.

I wanted to think that it wasn't but it didn't matter how many times I told myself that. It seemed like I was always thinking that someone was dead because of me. It was getting to be routine. "I know. But it's hard not to," I muttered.

"I'm sorry that I ever put you in this position. I'm sorry that all of this happened because Prim was Reaped. I'm sorry that I didn't fight harder to go into the Games. It should have been me."

Her head dropped to the floor and I felt my stomach churn in knots. Fighting the urge to tell her that I wished it hadn't been me, too, I grabbed her shoulders and forced her to listen to me. She was not going to feel the same way about this whole thing that Prim did. I couldn't take them both blaming themselves.

"You listen to me and you listen to me good," I sneered. Her face went a little paler. I calmed myself quickly. It would do no good to scare her. "I am so glad that it was me and not you in those Games. That isn't something that I would ever want you to see. You can still be Reaped. So can Prim. If either of you were you know that I would still fight to go in you place."

It was honest. A huge part of me feared that either one would be Reaped this year to get back at me. But they couldn't do that and I had made sure that neither of them had taken out Tessera this year. They didn't need it this year. "No. I don't want you to go back in," Katniss whispered.

"I won't. They leave me alone now. Because I won. I'm so glad that I could protect you both. Like I said, I would do it again in a heartbeat. Every little injury that I got in those Games was well worth it. As long as it meant that the two of you were safe," I told her softly.

She stared at me for a moment and I gave her a little smile. I hated the fact that she was blaming herself for everything that had happened to me. It was one of the only ways that she and Prim were alike. She opened her mouth to say something to me but before she could a shout came from downstairs.

"Girls!" Ms. Everdeen shouted. Two of us jumped. We had been in our own little world and hadn't been expecting the call from anyone else. I held my breath hoping that it wasn't what I thought that it was, but I knew what she was calling us for. There was only one thing that she would interrupt us for. "The announcement of the Quarter Quell is coming on now."

"Here it comes. Maybe I should go talk to Haymitch after this about how to take care of new kids," I whispered.

"Start making plans," Katniss advised.

"Can you two come down now?" Ms. Everdeen called up.

"We'll be right there!" I yelled.

The foolish part of me debated on staying upstairs and pretending that I was passed out. But it would make no difference. Eventually they would get me to come downstairs and watch whatever the announcement was going to say. All I would do was delay that announcement. The only way out of this was if I died and I wasn't ready for that yet. Katniss held out a hand for me and I stared at it for a moment. I grabbed it but when we went to leave the room I saw that she was reluctant to leave, her eyes glued to me.

"Come on. We have to see this," I said.

"I know," she said, heading for the door.

As we hit the stairs I turned to her with a weak smile. "Hey, I'm alright. I promise all of you that no matter what comes on that screen, I'll be okay. I'll figure things out," I told her.

It was a complete lie but she didn't need to know that. "You always were good at that," Katniss said.

As we hit the bottom stair Ms. Everdeen handed me a glass of tea and I took it gratefully. "Thank you," I said softly, sitting down on the couch.

"You're welcome," Ms. Everdeen said.

Caesar Flickerman was talking into the microphone but I blocked him out. There was only one thing that I wanted to know. I just wanted to know what kind of hell they were throwing at these new kids. My hands tightened on my glass and I forced myself to take a breath. Even though everyone was facing the television I knew that all eyes were on me. Minds, too. I was sure that Cato and Gale were both thinking about me right now. I couldn't help but to wonder how Cato was doing. He was stronger with these things. But he didn't want to hear this either. My breath caught in my throat as President Snow stepped into the screen. I leaned forward breathlessly. This was it.

 **A/N:** Here's another fully edited chapter. **Let me know what you think!** Until next time! -A


	8. Chapter 8

His beady eyes sparkling, President Snow stepped forward onto the podium and I growled deep in my throat. He looked very happy. Perhaps because this was ultimately what he wanted. To make this year even worse than all others before it. Or maybe he was thinking that the news of the Quarter Quell would extinguish any more potential uprisings in the Districts. Because this would once again show us how deeply screwed we were. We were weak and poor compared to the Capitol. My jaws ground together as I stared at Snow's smile. This was the man that had ruined my life and would continue ruining lives.

Like he didn't even care - which he didn't - he stepped up to the microphone with a creepy smile. It felt like his beady eyes were piercing through me. I wondered if he was thinking about me right now, knowing that this was getting to me. Probably. He was probably enjoying every second of it. Seneca Crane was in the audience behind him and I had to fight to keep looking at the screen. He brought back bad memories. He wasn't looking at the camera though, he was looking at the ground. He was pale too. He looked as bad as he had after the party. What the hell had been going on with him?

Just as I started wondering about what had happened to Seneca Crane since that night that he had drunkenly attacked me, I realized that I was out of time. The announcement was about to come. The Panem anthem started to play, and my throat tightened with revulsion as President Snow waved a few times before finally taking his place at the forefront of the stage. He was followed by a young boy dressed in a white suit. Another Avox. I couldn't help but to wonder what he had done to earn himself a spot as an Avox. Perhaps he had started one of the uprisings.

The male Avox was holding a simple wooden box. Which contained the twist for this year. The anthem ended, and President Snow began to speak, to remind us all of the Dark Days from which the Hunger Games were born. When the laws for the Games were laid out, they dictated that every twenty-five years the anniversary would be marked by a Quarter Quell. It would call for a glorified version of the Games to make fresh the memory of those killed by the Districts' rebellion. Those words could not be more pointed, since I suspected that several Districts were rebelling right now.

President Snow went on to tell us about what happened in the previous Quarter Quells. "On the twenty-fifth anniversary, as a reminder to the rebels that their children were dying because of their choice to initiate violence, every District was made to hold an election and vote on the Tributes who would represent it."

My stomach churned. I couldn't have imagined that. I couldn't imagine how awful it was. No volunteers and no random selection. Perhaps for District 1, 2, and 4 it wasn't too bad. They would just choose to send the strongest from the Academy. But to be from one of the outer-lying Districts... I wondered how that would have felt. Picking the kids who had to go. It was worse, I thought, to be turned over by your own neighbors than have your name drawn from the Reaping ball. At least the Reaping ball was just chance. But to be killed in the Bloodbath, knowing your neighbors had condemned you to it.

"On the fiftieth anniversary," President Snow continued, "as a reminder that two rebels died for each Capitol citizen, every District was required to send twice as many Tributes."

How awful that would be... I imagined facing a field of forty-seven instead of twenty-three. There would have been worse odds and less hope, and ultimately more dead kids. How could that have even worked? What a nightmare the Bloodbath would have been. How many more kids would have been stronger and larger. Faster and smarter. A potential Career pack of twelve. It had been bad enough with five. I'd never seen footage of the second Quarter Quell. They never played it. But I did know that it was the year Haymitch won...

"I had a friend who went that year. Maysilee Donner. Her parents owned the sweet-shop. They gave me her songbird after. A canary," Ms. Everdeen said quietly.

Had they known that? I'd never known that. Prim, Katniss, and I exchanged a look. It told me that Ms. Everdeen had never told them about her friend either. In fact, I knew very little about Ms. Everdeen's life as a child, because that would normally lead to a conversation about my parents. Which wasn't something that I wanted to think about. But this was the first that any of us had ever heard of Maysilee Donner. Maybe because Ms. Everdeen knew that we would want to know how she died.

President Snow cleared his throat and I steeled my nerves. Here it was. "Ladies and gentlemen. This is the seventy-fifth year of the Hunger Games. It was written in the charter of the Games that every twenty-five years there would be a Quarter Quell. To keep fresh for each new generation the memory of those who died in the uprising against the Capitol. Each Quarter Quell is distinguished by Games of a special significance. Now, on this, the seventy-fifth anniversary of our defeat of the rebellion, we celebrate the third Quarter Quell."

The audience watching began to cheer loudly. "Get on with it," I groaned.

Everyone smiled weakly. "As a reminder that even the strongest cannot overcome the power of the Capitol. On this, the third Quarter Quell Games. The male and female Tributes are to be Reaped from the existing pool of Victors in each District," he finished.

Ms. Everdeen gave a faint shriek, Prim buried her face in her hands, and Katniss began screaming every foul word that she had ever heard before. But for a moment I said nothing. I feel more like the people I could see in the crowd on the television. Slightly baffled. Extremely confused. What did it mean? Existing pool of Victors? The reactions were my final clue. That was when I got it. I understood what it meant. At least, for me. District 12 only had two existing Victors to choose from. One male. One female... I was going back into the arena.

In the meantime President Snow was continuing talking about how age wasn't a factor. Anyone could go into the arena and the only Victors that would be effective were those who were already Victors and only for their gender in their District. My heart felt like it wasn't beating. I was pretty sure that it wasn't. It would explain why no air was getting into my lungs. It would only explain why I was hyperventilating. My eyes flitted over the screen a few times and I wondered if I was sure that I had heard him correctly. Had my mind just played a trick on me?

Was there a chance that I going to wake up in my bed in the morning and laugh when I realized what a stupid dream this was? No... The screen faded and Caesar Flickerman popped back up with thousands of screaming fans in the background. Victor. It was the one word that stuck out to me in his broadcast. It kept repeating over and over in my head. Victor. Victor. Victor. But that wasn't what we were anymore. Just like we had all once been, we were Tributes again. We were still pawns in his little game. We were fools to ever think that we were safe.

The world was spinning slightly as I stood. There was a good chance that I was about to fall over myself. Everyone looked like they were crying except for Ms. Everdeen. She had sobbed the moment that she'd heard the announcement but now she was just sitting there. She looked how I felt. Stunned. She was sitting with a defeated look on her face. Tears were nowhere near my eyes but I felt like I was about to die. How had this happened? This wasn't fair. They couldn't do this. Not after everything that I had already been through. That we had all been through. It was something that they promised.

Once they had their Victors they would leave us alone. We would get paid in riches for the rest of our lives and only be bothered to be Mentors. That was what I was supposed to be doing. I was supposed to be thinking about some poor kids that I would try to save beginning tomorrow but that wasn't what was going to happen. I was going back into the Games. So was Haymitch. We were the sole survivors of District 12 and that meant that no one else could step in to take our places. It seemed that they had come to the same conclusion as the broadcast began to list the possible Tributes for the Quarter Quell.

My name was in bold print. They had already resigned me to death. My drink glass was still in my hand and I feared that if I let it go it would go smashing to the floor. Not that I really cared. I walked up to the television and dropped to my knees in front of it. There was no way that this was really happening. It was all a joke. This was just some cruel joke in the style of the Capitol. There was a hidden camera in the living room and in a minute I would be laughing at my own reaction. Maybe Cato would tease me for it. Finnick and Haymitch definitely would.

My hand raised to the television slowly, like I was afraid if I touched it the screen would shatter. Or maybe I would fall through it into Seneca Crane's arms. I glanced back at the man and saw that he didn't look happy. He looked like he was either going to pass out or throw up. I knew how he felt. The liquor from this morning was bubbling in my stomach and for a moment I was concerned that it was going to go on the floor. That would give away my big secret of what I did in the mornings. Not that it mattered. I would be dead in a few weeks anyways. This time there was no living. These people would kill me.

This whole thing was my fault and I knew it. That hadn't been the real card. There wasn't a doubt in my mind that it would likely be the card at some point. But it wouldn't be for hundreds of years. A time where they had many Victors from each District. Not when some Districts - like District 12 - only had one Victor of a certain gender. This had been something that they had done once they had realized that I couldn't live. This whole thing was a way to take out their anger on me. President Snow had done this. It was just to show how much they hated me that they were also going to take it out on everyone else.

All over Panem, Victors were shouting at their televisions and I knew that they were cursing me for everything that I had done. They knew that this would not have happened if I had died like I was supposed to last year. At least they would finally get their death. These were going to be the last few weeks that I would spend in District 12. Two months from now I would be shipped off to the Capitol for the last time. The next time that I came home I knew that it would be in a pine box.

Gale... What was he even thinking right now? Was he angry or was he sitting in silence, thinking that he had heard wrong? Probably a little bit of both. The only thing that meant anything was that Katniss and Prim were safe for one more year. This time I would tell them that they would have to move on from me. My eyes watered and suddenly the rational part of me died; in came the panic. The part of me that was seeing the wolf mutt, along with the lion and bear. Not to mention the Tribute dogs. The faces of the Tributes that I had killed all flashed through my mind and the screams from their families.

No... It couldn't be real. They weren't doing that. They couldn't. The room was utterly silent except for the clinking of the ice in my glass. The cubes were rattling against each other as my hand shook and I tried to force myself to keep still. But it wasn't enough. The glass went falling from my hand as I attempted to stand again as it shattered into a million pieces. Prim jumped in surprise and stared at me. Katniss had finally stopped cursing but she still looked furious. Feeling like I was more looking down at myself than in my own body, I walked slowly towards the couch.

Any little movement I was making made me feel like I was about to keel over. But somehow I managed to keep up on my feet. All eyes were on me as I moved to sit back on the couch. My eyes flitted up to the television screen and my face went white as I realized what they were talking about. There was a still of myself and Cato in the cave together after I had been attacked by Jason. We were locked together in a passionate embrace and I choked back a loud sob. They knew that I was going into the Games, but now there was the question of whether or not Cato was. Oh, no... Cato.

I couldn't let him go into the Games with me. He had to stay back. That way at least he would be safe. He had a chance. There were five living male Victors from District 2. There was still a chance that he wouldn't go into the Games. He didn't deserve it. This wasn't his fault. It wasn't any of their faults. Why couldn't Snow just execute me? My heart was racing as flashes of myself with Cato throughout our Games crossed the screen. The last image to pop up was of Cato and I locked together in our first kiss at President Snow's party. My heart fluttered slightly and I sighed. _Leave him alone_.

But as Caesar popped back up onto the screen, there were pictures of myself and Cato on opposite sides. His picture was of himself with his arms folded over his chest during training. I knew what it was from. The photo was of him while he was watching me on the rope course. The picture of myself was me as I went stomping down from the knife platform. In the background you could see my target. We both looked so determined. We both look tough as nails. We looked hard. But that wasn't even close to the truth. We were broken.

Now more than ever. Finally the photos of us faded away and it was replaced by the topic currently at hand, which was apparently what was going to be done about the Star-Crossed Lovers. As always, we would be the stars of the show. Some others might matter, but these whole Games would once again focus on us. Was Cato watching this? What did his family think of this? What about Finnick? He still had Annie. There was a chance that they would go into the Games. I wasn't the only one that was fearing for a lover here. _Please forgive me, Finnick_.

"What does that mean?" Prim asked.

I turned back to her. She was crying. She already knew what it meant. She just wanted the confirmation. I wanted to walk up to her and offer some form of consolation but I couldn't force myself to walk over to her. Instead I was watching the screen and fighting back tears as they showed every tender moment that Cato and I had shared, before, during, and after the Games. Katniss turned to Prim and I noticed that she was waiting to see if I was going to say anything. No. I had nothing to say. The only things that I had to say were sure to get everyone killed.

"It means that the new Tributes for these Games are going to picked from the Victors of the previous Hunger Games. It means that only Victors will be going into the Games," Katniss said softly, almost like she was trying to shield me from the truth.

The next photograph was one that I had never seen before. I was in a fight with the trainer at the hand-to-hand combat station during training and I was currently in the process of throwing him to the ground. What I hadn't noticed though, was the fact that Cato was watching me. He had a big smile on my face and it almost looked like he was proud of me. Had he been fonder of me than he had ever led me to believe? When had they taken the picture? I shook my head and looked away from the screen, back at Prim. But right when I was met with her red eyes, my gaze dropped to the ground.

"It means that I'm going into the Games," I said softly.

Prim cried out loudly and my heart shattered. My eyes were finally beginning to water and every inch of me was relentlessly shaking. I felt like I was about to shatter, just like the glass. "No!" she shrieked loudly.

"It's going to happen, Prim," I muttered.

She came to land in front of me. She grabbed onto my arm and I had to fight myself from throwing her off of me. I didn't want this right now. I just wanted to drown in my own sorrows and relent myself to death. "You can't! This isn't fair. You won, they have to leave you alone!" she yelled.

I found myself laughing. They lied. They always lied. Everything was a lie. My entire life was a lie. It wasn't even mine. It was theirs. "Of course they did," I muttered.

"They promised that after you win, you'll be bathed in riches and treated like royalty for the rest of your life," Prim said, tears streaming down her face.

A sudden flash of anger shot through me and I knew that I would regret it later. "You don't get it, Prim!" I screamed, startling the young girl.

She jumped back from me and Katniss caught her. I couldn't bear to look at my best friend. Her eyes radiated in pain. "Aspen," Katniss whispered.

Instead I focused my gaze onto the television that was now theorizing on what type of arena it would be this year. "It's all lies! Everything that they say. There's no way out of this! This is my fault! This is my fault that these damn Games are happening like this," I said softly.

Everyone was slowly walking closer to me. They had to know the truth. They had to know that I was the one at fault for these Games. "That's not true," Ms. Everdeen said.

"They're sick of me. They want me to die! I'm the only existing female Victor from District 12. There's no one to volunteer in my place. I'm going into the Games," I said, defeated.

Ms. Everdeen walked forward and I shied away slightly when she came to touch me. I didn't want this. I just wanted everyone to be able to live in peace. I had wanted to hide in District 12 for the rest of my life. Maybe my mother should have never given birth to me. So much would be different today.

"Aspen, sweetheart, this was not your fault," Ms. Everdeen said.

"No. It is," I said.

"These Quarter Quell ideas were made months before the first Games ever even started. Years before you were even born. No one can see inside that box, it's sealed. They couldn't have changed it. This wasn't because of you," Ms. Everdeen enforced.

"No. They changed it. It's too much of a coincidence," I said.

"It's just the evil that the Capitol showcases," Ms. Everdeen begged me to understand.

My body was shaking as I weakly walked over to the couch. I wanted to fall down and lay there for the rest of my short life. But that wasn't what happened. "Aspen, please say something. Anything," Katniss begged, as she came to stand next to me. I looked up at her and suddenly I felt a huge wave of fear wash over me. Not bothering to say anything, I dashed down the hallway and headed to the door. "Aspen! Wait!"

By now the rest of them were sobbing and screaming. Everyone yelled after me but I didn't slow down. I bolted through the door and heard them follow me for a moment. But I was faster than them and they knew that. My body had reacted before my mind did. I was running across the lawns of the Victor's Village, into the dark beyond. Moisture from the sodden ground soaked my socks and I was vaguely aware of the sharp bite of the wind, but I didn't stop. Where? Where to go? The woods, of course. I was at the fence before the hum made me remember how very trapped I was.

So I backed away, panting, turned on my heel, and took off again. I had to find somewhere. I tucked tail and headed back to Victor's Village. Our little wooded area. I could go there. As I tore back towards Victor's Village, I slipped slightly in a puddle but it didn't slow me down. Even though I almost fell straight on my face. By now the announcement was over and everyone was out. Because they were waiting to see what had happened with Haymitch and I. They were staring as I ran past the deserted train station and headed into the Town Square.

It seemed that nearly every person in District 12 was milling about the area as I ran through. I noticed that the looks ranged from everything. Some people looked like they wanted to stop me and ask if I was alright. Others just watched me run in pity. Some looked like they were forcing back a smile. I didn't blame them. It meant that their kids were safe for one more year. I could hear my name being called behind me by a deep voice and I shook my head. It was Gale. I couldn't handle that right now. I needed to be alone.

Roughly I shoved my way through the crowd. I was knocking a few people to the ground but I didn't care. They would get their consolation prize in a few months. Finally I burst through the edge of the Square and back into Victor's Village where I went sprinting into the wooded area. I vaulted over one of the logs but my foot caught on the top part of the fence and it sent me into a sprawl. Unfortunately the land that I was on was slightly downhill so I tucked into myself and went flying down the hill. Just like in the arena. It was almost funny.

My skin caught on the branches as I went tumbling down the hill and I cried out at the sudden pain. After what seemed like an hour I went sprawling into a tree and groaned at the pain that was radiating all throughout my body. I sat up to try and clear my head, but instead it was my stomach that got cleared. Bending over my torso I let my stomach empty its contents. My eyes were watering roughly and I was heaving loudly as I tried to expel everything.

Tears were burning my eyes as they slipped over the rims of my eyes and went splashing into my lap. After what seemed like hours, I finally stopped vomiting and laid on the ground. Tears were still slipping from my eyes and my breathing was extremely labored. I sat slowly up and tried to force my breathing to go back to normal. I didn't want to have a panic attack right out here where no one was here if I needed them. I wasn't sure if my friends were going to come find me or not. They might just want to leave me out here for a while to collect my thoughts. Not that that was going to happen.

A small shadow fell over me and I shook my head, forcing myself to calm down. I had to pretend that I was at least somewhat okay. I stood weakly and turned back to tell my friends that I was okay. But the person that was standing there shocked me. I fell onto my back and scrambled away from him. He looked as friendly and happy as the last time that I had seen him. Only he also looked slightly more alive. Well, much more alive. His blonde hair was slicked back slightly and his blue eyes were sparkling. He looked healthy and had no sword wound in his leg.

"Peeta," I whispered.

"It's me," he said.

"What are you doing here?" I asked weakly.

He gave me a little smile and stretched his hand out. I grabbed it weakly and let him pull me to my feet. "To see you," he said happily.

"You're dead. Don't tell me that the fall killed me." Peeta gave me a little grin. "That would actually be a wonderful improvement to my day," I groaned, rubbing my arms.

Peeta smiled and shook his head at me. "Seems like you haven't lost any of your charm, Aspen," he said.

"Thanks."

It was nice to see that someone still appreciated my terrible sense of humor. He stepped into me and I smiled. This Peeta was a little more forward, but he still didn't make me nervous. He was one of the most important people in my life. He always had been and always would be. Even almost a year after his death.

"No, you know why I'm here," Peeta said.

"Do I?" I asked.

"Or maybe you don't," Peeta said slowly.

"I don't."

"You aren't dead. You're just having a bad day. I'm here to talk. You looked like you need to," Peeta said softly.

"I guess that's true," I said.

Shrugging my shoulders at him gently, I let him pull me into his chest. He hugged me and I couldn't help but flinch slightly. The last time that I had hugged Peeta, he had ended up dead and I had ended up with a knife planted in my broken arm. We stayed together for a second before I backed off of him. He was wearing a pristine white suit and I scoffed. How typical. It looked like the one that President Snow wore from time to time. But it did look nice on him.

"I like the white suit. It suits you," I said.

Peeta laughed lightly. Apparently the dead still had a sense of humor. _That's reassuring_. "Thank you," Peeta said.

"I assume you know what the next Games are," I asked.

"Yes," Peeta admitted slowly.

"What the hell do I do?"

"You go back into the Games and give them hell."

"I can't. I'm going to die. Peeta, I can't do this. They've already ruined my life once. They killed you. I can't do this," I said hysterically, tears beginning to rise to my eyes again.

Peeta shook his head and grabbed my face. For a moment I thought that he was going to slap me. "Stop it, Aspen," Peeta snapped.

"Peeta... I can't do this," I whined.

"Stop it. Now you look at me," Peeta said, forcing my head up to his. He hadn't lost any of his strength in death. "You can do this. I know that you can do this."

"How?"

"I saw that sad little girl that left District 12 turn into a tough woman in front of my eyes. The Capitol loves you."

"Are you not paying attention? That's what I'm out here for," I snapped. "Because I was a moron and now they hate me."

"The people, at least. The Capitol people love you. District 2 and District 12 are with you. Hell, District 11 is too. That's a lot of people that you have rooting for you," he said.

"They'll have someone else to root for this time. The other Victors. It's not just me going in there."

"You're stronger. You know that."

Perhaps. There was a good chance that I would be stronger than a number of them. There was also the fact that I did have a number of people who were backing me. I did have a good amount of people but it wasn't people that were really helpful. It was only three of the twelve Districts and the Capitol people loved their Games. No matter how much they loved me, they would get over it. I wasn't that great. There were plenty of other Victors that the people loved. But that wasn't what was bothering me. There was something much worse. Something that I wouldn't be able to forgive myself for.

"But what if it isn't me that I'm worried about? I am going to die. I can get past that. Trust me," I said.

"So what is it?"

"What about Cato?" I asked.

Peeta's eyebrow rose. "What about him?" he asked slowly.

"I dragged him into this with my stupid plan with the knives," I sighed pathetically.

Once more I thought about how he should have won and killed me. Things would be so much easier. A lighter pitched voice trilled to call me an idiot and I turned back. A small girl with dark hair and light skin was walking up to me. She was wearing a white shirt that flowed around her torso and a pair of white jeans. For a moment I wasn't quite sure who she was but the sneer gave her away easily. It was someone that I could have gone the rest of my life without seeing again.

"Honestly, you're just as dumb as you were the last time that I saw you, aren't you?" she asked, with a little scoff.

I set an angry glare on her. "Thanks," I snapped.

This was not what I needed right now. I just wanted to be with Peeta right now. "Selfish too," she added.

"Have you seen what I've done over the last year? My entire life? I am anything but selfish," I said angrily.

"Sure you aren't. You do realize that there will be twenty-two other people in there?"

"Of course I do!"

"I would have thought that living through the Games would have made you a little more intelligent, but no. Still the same stupid District 12 girl that Cato can't get over," the young girl sneered.

As I'd become so accustomed to doing, I rolled my eyes. She was laughing and shaking her head. Her brown braids flipped over her shoulder and I wanted nothing more than to pull her head off. But I knew that this was my time to make amends. Even if this was just some type of stress-induced hallucination.

"Clove," I sneered.

The younger girl gave me a little nod. "Well spotted," she bit out.

"Charming to see you again."

"That makes one of us."

"Look, I'm sorry about everything that happened to you. I didn't know that Thresh was..." I started.

She held her hand up to get me to stop. Maybe she didn't want to think about it. Or maybe she just didn't care anymore. Maybe she knew just how awful it was to be the Victor. Maybe she was glad to be dead and have nothing to worry about. I would have liked to see her in my position. At least I knew when it was time to shut my mouth and get down to business. At least I liked to think that I knew when it was time. Maybe I didn't.

"Stop," Clove drawled slowly.

"I guess you don't want to hear it. Why are you still calling me stupid? What did I do?" I asked.

She scoffed loudly and I watched as she circled. My nerves were on end as she walked around and I wondered if maybe she was thinking about some revenge. Of course if she wanted that she might as well just watch me live. That was plenty of torture for me. Being alive was almost worse than what would have been my death at her hands.

"You just don't get it. Cato was willing to die for you. He was willing to kill every last person in that arena, including me, to make sure that you were safe," Clove snapped.

"I know that."

"That includes now. He doesn't care about the arena," she said. My hands shook slightly. I hadn't even been thinking of that. He couldn't come into the Games just to save me. He had to be the one to live. He was the one that deserved it. "I hope you know that he will go in there because he knows that you're going to be going in."

"He won't do that," I said, very unconvincingly.

"You really think that he won't? Being a Mentor could help you but actually being in the Games would be better. He could save your life in a fight. You know which one he'll pick."

"He won't..."

"He wants to protect you. And he will die if it means that he can," Clove said.

Now I was getting desperate as I continued to shake my head. No... If I was going to die I wanted to make sure that he was going to be the one that lived. He had to have a good life. I had stolen a normal and happy life from him. I had to make sure that at least someone was going to get out of this and get their happily ever after. I had to make sure that it was Cato. He deserved it. Peeta walked forward to me and I pleaded silently with him.

"I know that you might not like this, Aspen, but she's right," Peeta said.

"Come on Peeta, I thought that you were on my side," I whined.

"I am on your side, Aspen. But you have to be honest with yourself. Know what he's going to do."

"Will he really?" I asked weakly.

"Think about it. You aren't the only one who is trying to figure things out right now. Cato may be hundreds of miles away but he's thinking the same thing. He's looking for the one way to make sure that you get out of this," Peeta told me.

And he was completely right. As hard as I would try to save Cato, he would try just as hard to save me. A branch cracked behind me and I turned back, nervous for who I was about to see. It was a boy that looked to be about my age. He had cruel eyes and short brown hair. He was giving me a sleazy smile and I felt the vomit begin to crawl back up my throat. Not him. Not right now. He walked up to me and I growled. He still towered over me and the thought unnerved me. But he was dead. Thankfully.

"Or maybe that's just it. Maybe she doesn't want him to live. Maybe she wants him to stay out of the Games so she can be as brutal as the last time. She wants to come home. This time she isn't willing to die for him. Isn't that right?" he asked. I scowled. Marvel was still as big of a prick as ever. "I mean, you were going to sell him out to me at one point."

"To save a little girl!" I snapped.

He laughed, knowing that he had gotten to me just the way that he had wanted to. "And look at how that worked out for you."

"Seriously?" I asked, turning back on Peeta.

"Sorry. I don't control who comes out here. I just happened to come first," Peeta said.

"Can't you get rid of these two and let it go back to just you and me?" I asked.

"I'm sorry, Aspen. You'll have to deal with them for now," Peeta said, shaking his head, clearly looking guilty for the sudden appearance of the two Careers.

I turned back to Marvel and scowled when I saw that he had a little smile on his face "I think we all know that you and I have some bad blood between us," I said, motioning between us.

Marvel laughed at me and shook his head. He went to throw a hand over my shoulder but I stepped away and walked back towards Peeta. "Come on, Twelve," Marvel said.

"Don't call me that," I snapped.

"I think we can get over it."

"I will never get over what you did to her."

"Get over it. You got me back pretty good for the little girl," he said.

"Not good enough," I muttered.

But he was right. I had taken out all of my anger on him for what had happened to Rue. I hadn't really meant to and it hadn't made me feel any better. "Thanks for that, by the way. It really fucking hurt," Marvel said.

"You're welcome. That was kind of the whole point," I sneered.

"Anyways, were you even thinking about little Cato?" Marvel asked.

 _No._ "Yes," I said.

"Were you now? I promise you that he was thinking of you. This entire time... the only thing that he's been thinking of is you."

"I know," I snarled.

"How selfish of you," Marvel said, with a chiding sing-song voice.

Part of me wanted to beat his ass into the ground but the other part of me knew that he was dead. There was no more damage that I could do to him. "Shut the hell up," I sneered.

He laughed again. "People only say that when they're caught," Marvel teased.

"I was thinking about him. He's a better person than me."

"No kidding," Clove interrupted.

I turned a scowl on her before continuing. "I tried to spend three weeks thinking that it was the other way around, but I was wrong. He's the better person. He's the one that has a family that needs him. Not me. He has to be the one to live," I said, turning back to Peeta.

He looked sad but he nodded at me. "If anyone can figure out how, it's you," Peeta said.

"Thank you," I whispered.

Clove scoffed and I turned back to her. I had forgotten that she was even here. Maybe I should have stayed at the house and just risked throwing up on the floor. "Now if only you could have figured that out a year ago. None of us would be in this mess," Clove said.

"Do you have to be here," I snapped, scowling.

"I'm in your head. Good luck getting rid of me," Clove teased.

"Lucky me."

"Come on, Twelve. We are dead and we're still being dragged into your shit," Clove snarled.

Really? Why could this have not just been Peeta and me? He was the only person that I wanted to talk to right now. What asshole decided that they had to bring in two of my least favorite people in the world? Although they were still nothing compared to President Snow. A tall man that I thought was Cato stepped out of the woods and for a moment my heart stopped. But I quickly realized who he was. He was wearing the same suit as Peeta but his skin was contrasting sharply with the stark white of the suit.

"I'd leave her alone if I were you. You can't die again but I'm pretty sure that you can still feel pain," Thresh growled to Clove.

"Get over yourself," Clove snapped.

I ran forward and fell into his arms. He caught me and laughed a little as he brushed my hair back. Thresh would have made a good father. "Hey, Aspen," Thresh greeted.

"Hi, Thresh."

"I bet you've had better days," he said as I pulled away.

"Much better. Although I suppose I've had worse too," I said, unsure if that was really true.

"That's alright. I completely understand. And I brought a friend for you to see. I figured it might help," Thresh said.

"What do you mean?" I asked.

"Go see."

The bushes behind him parted slightly and I watched as a small figure emerged from them. Everyone stepped back to allow me to watch as the bushes parted. The figure that emerged from them was barefooted and had curly brown hair. She was wearing a puffy white dress that flowed around her - just like on the day of her Interview - and it seemed like she was lit up slightly. I smiled at the sight of the younger girl and tears began to rise to my eyes.

"Rue!" I yelled, running forward to her.

She ran after me too and I grinned as the younger girl launched herself into my arms. It was just the way that Prim used to do. Tears were running down my face and I let my head lay down into her hair. She was just as small as she had been during the Games. Rue looked up at me with her big, brown, doe eyes and I grinned pathetically at her. I needed to at least try and look a little strong for her. She deserved that much at least. Just like before she'd died, I had to be strong.

"Hi, Aspen," Rue said in her small voice.

I choked back a sob. I missed the little girl. I wish that she was still here. But I wished a lot of things, and I knew that wishing got you nowhere in this life. "I'm happy to see you," I whispered.

"Me too. I knew that you and Cato really did like each other."

"You were right."

"It was in your eyes from the first moment that I saw the two of you look at each other."

She had told me that once in the Games too and I hadn't believed her. Now that I did, and it was too late. "You caught it well before I did," I said.

"I knew that you would eventually. I'm just happy that you guys get to be together now," she said, with a smile.

She was still so young and still so innocent. It hurt my heart to hear her like this. She should never have been Reaped. She should still be with her parents and her siblings. She should have gotten to grow up and be a kid. She should have gotten to enjoy time to be a real kid. Then she should have gotten married and had a family of her own. She deserved all of that and more. She should have never had the misfortune of meeting me or the Hunger Games.

"I hoped that we could be together but it isn't working out like that," I said.

She let a sad look cross her face. "It could," she whispered.

"Maybe. But it would be hard. I wanted the two of us to get to be happy with each other but that is never going to happen. Not now. Not with everything happening. At least I'm going to go back into the Games. I pray that Cato won't."

"He will," Clove interrupted.

"I'll kill you again," Thresh warned.

"I hope that he lives and has a happy life without me. I want him to move on," I said.

I could tell that Rue was on the verge of tears, just like I was. "He doesn't want to be without you," Rue said softly.

"Maybe I'll join you," I said solemnly.

Rue shook her head quickly. "You know, Aspen, you always were the type that didn't believe what other people were saying," someone called.

Startled by the emergence of someone new, I turned back. Bright red hair was standing out against the stark white of the flowing dress that she was wearing and my eyes widened. Finch. It felt like she wasn't even dead. She had always been a ghost, especially during her brief appearances during the Games, but now it was literal. Maybe she was always meant to be a guardian angel. My guardian angel. But that wasn't what I wanted. _Please protect Cato. Gale, Prim, Katniss or Ms. Everdeen. Any of them. But not me_. I didn't need it.

"Hello, Finch," I said softly.

She nodded at me. "We are kind of in on everything that's happening now that we're gone. Anyways, I know what you're thinking," she said.

"How unsurprising," I said, making her smile.

"You want to go do something but you feel powerless."

"I always have."

"You know that you have to do something," Finch said.

I found myself nodding dumbly. I wanted to be able to do something. Something even like begging President Snow to make Cato immune to these Games or tell him to just execute me instead of having the Games this year. Anything that I could do, just as long as it saved Cato. As long as it saved all of them. The Victors who had won fair and square. They should not have to die because of one stupid mistake that I made. It was wrong and I knew that now.

"That's just it, Finch. All of you," I said, turning to the large group of people that were all surrounding me. "I know that I have to do something but I have no idea what to do. I'll take any ideas. Anyone?" I asked the group.

"Die," Clove suggested unhelpfully.

"I'm not you," I snapped rudely. "And I plan to."

They were all silent for a moment before Peeta walked forward and placed his arm on my shoulder. "Aspen, think a little," Peeta said.

"I'm trying."

"Think back to when we were getting ready for the Games. Think back to what we did every time that we had a problem," Peeta said.

"What do you mean?" I asked.

Probably someone on the team. There was Cinna but I had no way to contact him until I got to the Capitol in a number of weeks and by then it would be too late. I could call him but I wasn't sure that talking over the phone was the best idea right now. There was Effie too. I wondered what she was thinking about all of this right about now. She loved the Games but she loved me too. I knew that by now. Who was she going to side with on this one?

"Who did we go to? Every time?" Peeta asked.

Suddenly it hit me. Haymitch. I had to go to him. Beg him to save Cato. "Haymitch," I whispered.

"I know that you know this one. Go to him. Make him listen to you," Peeta said.

"You're right."

The two of us smiled at each other as I realized that he was right. I had to get out of here and I had to get Haymitch to help me. He could do something. Giving Peeta one last hug, he grabbed me tightly and I found myself wanting nothing more than for him to be with me. I wanted him to be alive. I needed his help. I needed him. All of them. Even Marvel and Clove. They didn't deserve the endings that they had gotten. No one got what they had deserved.

"Thank you. All of you," I said, turning back to look at the rest of the group, my eyes narrowing on the two Careers. "Even you two."

They both laughed lightly. "See you soon, Fire Girl," Clove teased.

And she was right. She would see me soon. That didn't stop my scowl from returning to my face. To my shock, Peeta walked directly in front of me. For a moment I thought that he might kiss me. But he didn't. Instead he grabbed me over my mouth and pulled me to the ground. I tried to scream and fight him off of me but nothing worked. Finally he ripped my head to the side and there was nothing. Everything was black for a moment until I jumped up and saw that I was laying at the base of the tree that I had run into during my fall. It had been a dream. They had never been here. The whole damn thing was a dream.

There was a little puddle of vomit next to me and I groaned. That part hadn't been fake. I stood slowly and groaned at the protest of my muscles. How long had I been down here for? I had to get back up there. I had to talk to Haymitch. Pulling myself back up the hill that would bring me up to the edge of Victor's Village I thought about what I would tell Haymitch. I had no damn clue what I would tell him. I would essentially be asking him to give up his life to save Cato's. Maybe Clove was right. Maybe I really was selfish.

Haymitch could say no, as he would have every right to, but I could only hope that he would help me out here. I needed help to be able to do this. As I walked back through the Town Square, still stumbling around and unsure of where I was supposed to go, I noticed that people were keeping a little distance from me. They all looked like they wanted to say something to me. But they were probably wise enough to know that I had nothing to say right now. Not to any of them, at least. I didn't want their consolation and I didn't want the apologies. This was my fault. This was something that I had coming.

As I stumbled back to the Town Square I realized with a hint of horror that the post office that I used to send Cato letters was closed and Peacekeepers were now moving to burn it to the ground. My hand flew over my mouth as I stumbled away. Of course, how stupid could I be to think that President Snow would allow Cato and me to speak to each other before the Games? No. He was much smarter than that. He would cut off all communication between us. My only hope was to call him and just read between the lines of our conversation. My head started to spin as I stumbled through District 12.

The next thing that I knew I was on my hands and knees in the cellar of one of the empty houses in the Victor's Village. I wouldn't even be able to write to Cato. They wanted it to be a surprise. Faint shafts of moonlight came in through the window wells above my head. I was cold and wet and winded, but my escape attempt had done nothing to subdue the hysteria rising up inside me. It would drown me unless it was released. I balled up the front of my shirt, stuffed it into my mouth, and began to scream. How long that continued, I didn't know. But when I stopped, my voice was almost gone.

So I curled up on my side and stared at the patches of moonlight on the cement floor. Back in the arena. Back in the place of nightmares. That was where I was going. I had to admit I didn't see it coming. I saw a multitude of other things. Being publicly humiliated, tortured, and executed. Fleeing through the wilderness, pursued by Peacekeepers and hovercrafts. Marriage to Cato with our children forced into the arena. But never that I myself would have to be a player in the Games again. Why? Because there was no precedent for it. Victors were out of the Reaping for life. That was the deal if you won. Until now.

For a while I had managed to calm myself down. But now that I was back on my feet, now that I realized just how close I was to being back into the arena, I was losing my mind again. There was some kind of sheeting around me, the kind they put down when they paint. I pulled it over me like a blanket. It was still icy cold. In the distance, a few people were calling my name. Katniss, Prim, and Ms. Everdeen, most likely. Maybe Gale, too. But at the moment, I excused myself from thinking about even those I loved most. I thought only of me. And what lied ahead.

The sheeting was stiff but holds warmth. My muscles relaxed and my heart rate slowed. I could see the wooden box in the little boy's hands and see President Snow drawing out the yellowed envelope. Was it possible that it was really the Quarter Quell written down seventy-five years ago? It seemed highly unlikely. It was just too perfect of an answer for the troubles that faced the Capitol today. Getting rid of me and subduing the Districts all in one neat little package.

I heard President Snow's voice in my head. _On the seventy-fifth anniversary, as a reminder to the rebels that even the strongest among them cannot overcome the power of the Capitol, the male and female Tributes will be reaped from their existing pool of Victors_.

Yes, Victors are the strongest people in Panem. Mentally or physically, they all excelled in one way or another. They were the ones who survived the arena and slipped the noose of poverty that strangled the rest of us. Even the Careers, as I'd learned, were not impervious to the weaknesses that the Capitol showcased in the Districts. They, or should I have said we, were the very embodiment of hope where there was no hope. And now twenty-three of us would be killed to show how even that hope was an illusion.

Finnick warned me about this. How a little hope was good, but too much... And I was too much. This was enough to show me that I was. I was glad that I won only last year. Otherwise I would know all of the other Victors, not just because I saw them on television but because they were guests at every Games. Even if they weren't not Mentoring like Haymitch always had to, most returned to the Capitol each year for the event. I thought that a lot of them were friends. Whereas the only friend I'll have to worry about killing would be Cato, Finnick, or Haymitch. Haymitch!

What an idiot I was. I sat straight up, throwing off the sheeting. What just went through my mind? There was no situation in which I would ever kill Cato or Haymitch. Even the whole thing with Finnick would be hard. He had helped me since the beginning of the last Games and he had become a good friend to me. But chances were that all three of them would be in the arena with me, and that was a fact. Haymitch would definitely be there. Cato and Finnick had options. But they may have even decided between themselves already who it would be from their respective Districts.

Whoever was picked first, in either District 4 or District 2, the others would have the option of volunteering to take his place. And in both District 4 and District 2 there were a multitude of other male Victors. There was a good chance that neither one would be picked. Finnick might not volunteer to help me out, but I was no fool. Peeta was right. I already knew what would happen. Cato would ask Brutus and Augustus and whoever the other male Victors in District 2 were to let him go into the arena with me, no matter what. For my sake. To protect me.

But that couldn't happen. If there was anyone that could talk to Brutus, and ensure that he was the one that went into the arena, I knew that it would be Haymitch. They were almost friendly. Almost. I stumbled around the cellar, desperately looking for an exit. How did I even get in here? I felt my way up the steps into the kitchen and saw that the glass window in the door had been shattered. That must have been why my hand seemed to be bleeding. I hurried back into the night and headed straight to Haymitch's house.

For a moment I debated on stopping by my house to tell them all that I was still alive and sort of alright, but I figured that this was much more important. I pushed the door to his house open. Haymitch was sitting in the living room with a drink in his hand. Definitely drunk. I could tell from the smashed glasses and television that he hadn't taken the news of the Quarter Quell very well. Not that I blamed him. He looked at me with a grin on his face and I walked past, headed into the kitchen. He followed me and I waited for his bereavement to begin with. I knew that I wasn't getting out of this unscathed.

"There she is. All tuckered out. Finally did the math?" he asked. I scowled at him. "And you've come to what? Asked me to... die?"

 _Yes_. But that wasn't something that I could tell him yet. That wasn't something that I was ready to face yet. Haymitch was still my friend and I wanted to be with him for a moment. "No, I'm done with fighting them. They've won. They broke me just like they wanted to," I said.

The pain flashed through his eyes for a moment. I wondered if he was thinking about how my mother would react right now if she could see me."They tend to do that," Haymitch said.

"I'm not going to ask you to die. Because I know that you will. I'm here to drink," I said.

"Oh. Finally something I can help you with."

How could I have asked him something like that? I bit my lip because once he'd said it, I was afraid that was wanted I do want. For Cato to live, it might mean Haymitch's death. He was dreadful, of course, but Haymitch was my family now. What did I come for? What could I possibly want here? Haymitch burst out laughing and slammed the bottle on the table before me. I ran my sleeve across the top and took a couple gulps before I came up choking. It took a few minutes to compose myself, and even then my eyes and nose were still streaming. But inside me, the liquor felt like fire and I liked it.

Haymitch laughed again at my reaction and motioned me to the side of the kitchen. I moved over and watched as he poured another drink into a hazy glass and handed it to me. I tipped the drink back and drained it, feeling the familiar burn of the amber liquid as it slid down my throat. We switched to the bottle after that. He had one and I had one. It was what I needed right now. Because I knew what I was about to ask, as much as I wished that I didn't have to.

"You know, you always were one of the most chipper Tributes that I ever had. I think you got it from your father. He was the same way," Haymitch said.

"I try," I mumbled.

"At least he was smart," Haymitch added.

I rolled my eyes. Haymitch loved to say that I was stupid. Haymitch had already practically drained the bottle that he was drinking and I had only been here for a matter of minutes. I wanted to stop and put the bottle down, but I couldn't. So I took it and drained a bit more. Haymitch smirked at me and put his hand on my lower back, pushing me out to the living room. I thought about taking another bottle on the way but I didn't. Instead I just plopped myself down onto his couch.

"Take a seat. What's it to say that Cato was on the phone with me forty-five minutes ago, just after the announcement of the Games, begging to save your life and you only just now show up?" Haymitch asked. I felt my stomach roll. He had already begged Haymitch to save my life? I was even worse than I thought I was. "I didn't even know that he knew my number," he added, as a second thought.

"Maybe it's good that it's you," I said matter-of-factly. "You hate life, anyway."

"Very true."

"You chose to save me last year. With Peeta," I said.

"Yes. And when it came down to you or Cato, when we knew that it would just be one of you, I chose you again."

"Of course. You were my Mentor."

"I chose with Brutus and Enobaria. We picked you. All of us."

Now that was a shock. "What?" I asked.

"When we saw that it would be the two of you at the end, we started to get nervous that the Capitol would go back on their word. That feast that we sent? It was meant for only you. He had scrapes and breaks and bruises too. But who got all of the medicine? You. We figured that with him determined to get you out by the end, it only made sense to save you."

Even Cato's own Mentors had come over to my side to try and save me. "Oh," I muttered.

"Since last time I tried to keep you alive... We all did... seems like I'm obligated to save the boy this time," Haymitch said.

"That's another good point," I said, wiping my nose and tipping up the bottle again.

"Cato knows that we chose him last year. It doesn't bother him. But now Cato's argument is that since we all chose you, Brutus and I now owe him. Anything he wants. And what he wants is the chance to go in again to protect you," Haymitch said.

It was like a punch to the gut. I knew it. I'd already known that he would do that. But hearing it, having Haymitch confirm that Cato would almost definitely be going into the arena with me again, was one of the worst feelings that I'd ever had. In that whole way, Cato wasn't hard to predict. While I was passed out in the woods and wallowing around on the floor of that cellar, thinking only of myself, he was on the phone here, thinking only of me. Shame wasn't a strong enough word for what I felt.

I decided to launch right into it. Try a different approach rather than ease him into the conversation. "It means we have to save him. I need your help in making sure that Cato is the one that lives through the end of the Games," I said. Haymitch looked rather surprised that I had just come out with it. "It has to be him that lives."

Haymitch barked out a loud laugh and I jumped a little. That hadn't been the reaction that I had been expected. Or maybe it was exactly the one that I had thought that it would be. "You astound me. I used to think that you were the nice one that deserved to live through the Games," Haymitch said.

I couldn't help the frown that marred my features. That one hurt a little bit. Some part of wanted Haymitch to think that I was a good person. Maybe it was because he was a little like a father figure to me. "I've never been nice," I sneered, trying to block out emotion.

"You don't get it. I thought you were there so that you could be the one out of your family to live through the Games. I thought that Cato was just some typical Career that wanted to win the Games and kill as many people in the process. Turns out that I had to whole story backwards," Haymitch said. We had volunteered for two completely different reasons. "You could live a hundred lifetimes and never deserve that boy."

A huge part of me wanted to cry and agree with Haymitch. I wanted to tell him that he was right. Because he was right. That I was the monster that was trying to convince herself that everyone else were just all against me. Which was kind of true. But that wasn't what I could do. I just had to agree with him and pray that he would still help me out.

"Fine. I'm the villain in this whole story. Whatever makes you happy. But don't be stupid," I snarled. He raised an eyebrow. "Come on Haymitch, nobody decent ever wins the Games."

"Come on, girl! Nobody ever wins the Games. Period." He hesitated for a moment and I shifted in my seat. He was right. No one ever won them. "I would have thought that you were one of the people who knew that the best." My heart fell. I did know that. I couldn't believe that I had fooled myself. "There are survivors. There are no winners."

He was right. He would always be right. That was the kind of person that Haymitch was, as much as I hated to admit it. But we didn't have time to be gentle and sweet with each other. We had to take care of this now, while we still had the time. There was only about two months until the Reaping and I knew that at that point there would be nothing that any of us could do. We had to figure things out now and then prepare. Any damage control that we could do would have to be taken care of in the coming weeks.

"Cato has to survive. You have to do whatever it takes to save him," I said. I saw the conflict in his eyes. I was asking him to die, but it was important. "Please, Haymitch, I've never asked you for anything but I'm asking this of you. I know what it means for you and me, but, please. For me."

Haymitch shook his head at me and sighed deeply. I couldn't believe what I was doing. I was asking Haymitch to give up his own life to go back into the Games and then die for Cato. If he was there. If not, I would let him live. I felt terrible that he was so torn over this but the strange part was that he didn't seem to be upset that I was asking him to die. It seemed like the part that was bothering him the most was the fact that I would die. But that made sense. He had thought that he had made up for my parents with me, but now he was about to watch me die. He was about to agree to help me die.

"Alright. Fine. Just this one time," Haymitch said.

"Thank you, Haymitch," I said. I had thought that he was going to tell me to buzz off.

"I'll call Brutus and tell him that if Cato's name gets called, to volunteer in his place. I'm sure that he would love another chance to be in the Games. They were his crowning moment," he said.

The disgusted part of me forced my entire body to shudder. He was right though. Brutus probably wouldn't mind a chance to fight in these new Games. He probably thought that this was hilarious. I wondered if any of the Victors were actually looking forward to this. Probably not, but I was sure that some were more upset than others. A lot of Victors were older and would probably be barely able to move. Easy kills, the cold-blooded part of me thought.

"Haymitch, thank you. I know that this is asking a lot of you, and I thank you for doing this. You have to know that this means the world to me," I said sweetly.

In the typical Haymitch fashion, he shook his head and tilted back his bottle. How the hell had he not passed out by now? "Enough with the buttering me up, sweetheart, you already got what you wanted." He was right, there was no use saying any more. We were all adults here. "But I wasn't finished."

"What now?" I asked, almost desperately.

"If they call any other name and Cato volunteers, there's nothing I can do. There's nothing that anyone can do. There are a lot of male Victors from District 2. It's not just a fifty-fifty chance. There's a good chance that he won't be the one to get called," Haymitch said.

He was right. There was an eighty percent chance that he would be able to volunteer and go in. And that was only if the number really was as low as five living male Victors. "I know," I whispered.

"There's a good chance that he will be the one going in," Haymitch warned.

And he was right about that too. I couldn't believe that I hadn't really taken that into serious consideration. There was a chance that he would go in with me and then we would have another problem altogether. Once more I nodded at him and forced myself to keep my hand away from the bottle that was sitting on the table. There were people that I had to talk to and things that I needed to say before I got into the swing of the Quarter Quell. It didn't work very well. I ended up tipping the bottle back a moment later.

"Then you and I will help him in the arena. Like you did for me," I said. He knew that I was not going to rest on this. I was going to make sure that Cato was the one that lived. No matter what he thought that he was going to do, Haymitch and I were going to make sure that he lived. I had faith in the older man. "Between the two of us I know that we can make sure that he makes it out of the Games."

"All right," Haymitch said slowly.

We sat for a while in silence. "It'd be bad for you in the arena, wouldn't it? Knowing all the others?" I asked.

"Oh, I think we can count on it being unbearable wherever I am," Haymitch said. He nodded at the bottle. "Can I have that back now?"

"No," I said, wrapping my arms around it. Haymitch pulled another bottle out from under the table and gave the top a twist. "Like you said, it's going to be bad no matter how you slice it. And whatever Cato wants, it's his turn to be saved. We all owe him that. Besides, the Capitol hates me so much, I'm as good as dead now. He still might have a chance."

Something flickered across his face. Pain. At my impending death. Not his .Haymitch nodded at me and I glanced over at the television. I hadn't noticed before, but the black screen was now smashed to pieces. Maybe he hadn't taken the announcement of the Games as well as I had thought he had. Even a little worse than I had. A little pang of guilt flashed through me at asking Haymitch's help to ensure that Cato lived, but I shoved it down. Like I had said, no one decent ever won the Games.

"Alright. Before you go, there's one last thing that I'd like to tell you," Haymitch said.

"Okay," I muttered, feeling a little dizzy.

"I think these Games are gonna be different."

"I did figure that, seeing as this is a Quarter Quell," I muttered.

It was their chance to unleash everything that they had on us. "No. I know. But it goes beyond that. Everything that you knew about the Hunger Games, forget it. Both of us," he said softly.

It was like starting from square one all over again. I had a disadvantage last year, and despite being a Victor, I was still at a disadvantage this year too. I didn't know the other Victors very well and they all hated me. "Then I'll figure out the new Games," I said.

"We'll do it together. We have time before they start."

"I can maybe sweet talk Seneca Crane into giving me hints about the arena," I said.

This was a dangerous game that I was playing but I was willing to do anything to make sure that Cato lived. "Aspen. You are not going to -"

"No, I'm not listening anymore. I will do whatever it takes to make sure that he's the sole Victor. Even if it means sleeping with Seneca Crane to find out about the arena. I don't care about these new Games. I'll take every injury and when the time comes, I'll die. Do whatever you can," I said, leaning over to Haymitch and grabbing his hands, giving him a pleading look. "Cato lives. Not me. Promise me."

My head was still spinning slightly. I had already drank too much but I wasn't even close to being done yet. I had to keep drinking. Just to forget. Just for the night. Haymitch looked pained and I knew that it was because he wanted me to live. I knew that he wanted me to be the Mockingjay, but that wasn't my role. Not this time. Not ever. My only role was to make sure that Cato was the one to make it back to District 2.

"Okay," Haymitch finally conceded.

"Thank you," I said, letting out a breath.

"Go home and get some rest. It's going to be a long day tomorrow."

"Doing what?" I asked.

"Getting ready," Haymitch said.

"Deal."

We would do anything that we could to ensure that Cato would live. And that meant making sure that we would live for at least a few days into the Games. So that we could protect him. I headed out of his living room and into the foyer, knowing that now I would have to face my family. I would have to pretend like I had a shot. I couldn't leave them with the knowledge that I had condemned myself to die. They didn't deserve that.

"Oh, Aspen. Say goodbye. Not tonight. But at some point. You might find that you won't have the heart to do it when the time comes. Let them think that there's a chance that you'll be back," Haymitch said.

"Of course," I said, before heading out the door.

The door clicked shut quietly behind me and I sighed. That would be one of the last times that I would ever set foot inside of Haymitch's house. Because we would have to spend our time training for the arena in the upcoming weeks. We had to. The thought tore me apart. Haymitch had come to be such a good friend. He had come to be a father to me and now I was asking him to die just to save the boy that I loved. But he had to know that I was doing this to make up for everything that I had done.

It was my way to pay back for what I had done to Glimmer, Marvel, Rue, Clove, Jason, and so many more in the first Games. They were finally going to watch me get repaid for everything that I had done to them. Maybe this would finally make us even. As I walked through Victor's Village with the bottle in my hand, making it almost impossible for me to see straight from all of the drinking, I saw that Gale was sitting at the fountain. He didn't say anything but he straightened up and walked over to me.

My heart was beating rapidly as he pulled me into his arms. For a while we were both silent as he held me tightly to him and I fought back tears. He probably knew that I was drunk but he didn't try to pull the bottle out of my hands. It didn't matter that we had been fighting so much recently and it didn't matter that we had barely spoken to each other the past few weeks. All that mattered was that we were best friends who loved each other more than anything. Gale patted down my hair and I sighed. I would miss him. I would miss everyone.

"We should have gone when you said. I'm sorry," he said, kissing the top of my head.

A little pang of guilt flashed through me and I pulled back from him, shaking my head. I couldn't tell him that I was planning on dying. But I had to tell him the truth. He at least deserved to know it. "Don't be sorry. There's nothing that we could have done," I said.

"We could have run."

"No. You were right. Running would have done nothing other than get a lot of other people killed. You were right to stay."

"We should have gone, Aspen."

We were both shaking our heads at each other. I knew that he blamed himself for this. This wasn't his fault. Nothing was his fault. It never would be. This was all my fault. We would have run and gotten caught. It would have been even worse than going back into the Games. Gale would have been executed and I still would be going into the Games. It didn't matter what we did. No matter what, the Capitol would always own me.

"This is my fight, and now I'm going to fight it. I'm going to go to the Capitol and go into the Games," I said.

"You... you can come home. He won't necessarily be there," Gale said.

Obviously he meant Cato. "It's not just that, Gale. The Capitol did this for a reason. One reason. I'm going to die, just the way that I always should have," I said softly, waiting for the blow.

Just like I had expected, Gale grabbed onto my arms and shook his head. I knew I shouldn't have said anything. "Do not say that!" Gale yelled.

I couldn't tell him the truth. That I was going to save Cato. He would try to talk me out of it. "Don't shake me. I'm going to throw up," I said.

"It's okay. This is just the panic talking. You're afraid because you got called back into the Games but you know that you can get through this. You got out of the Games once and you can do it again," Gale said.

I wouldn't have even survived the last Games had it not been for Cato. "I can't do it again," I muttered.

Cato saved me from people more than once and he was the reason that the infection hadn't killed me. This was my turn to repay him. "You do not give up on yourself. You get back there and kick some ass and then you come back here. Back to us," Gale said softly, breaking my heart.

It wasn't that often that I saw the soft side of Gale. Normally it was a harsher and louder version. But I knew what this was. This was the desperation talking. He wanted to do anything it took to get me to fight like hell for this. He wanted me to come back, but I knew that the Capitol would do anything possible to get me killed in the Games.

"You don't get it, do you?" I asked.

"What do you mean?" Gale asked.

"The last Games were simple. They were silly kids that had almost no knowledge of the Games. There were a few good fighters but that was it. They were kids. That's not the way that things are anymore," I said.

Gale shook his head again. How did he still not believe me? "You're a Victor, too. Everyone is on the same field," Gale said.

"Exactly! Everyone that is going into these Games are going to be trained killers. They have all won the Games at some point. There are going to be the brutal killers, there will be the intelligent Tributes, there will be the ones who know camouflage better than anyone else. And then there will be me. What the hell am I?" I asked desperately.

Gale grabbed my hand and I attempted to pull it back from him. But he had a stronger grip than I thought he did. He was hanging onto my arms tightly and I sighed. Maybe I should just tell him the truth. But I was mostly staggering around drunkenly. I knew that I was about to collapse. I would have if Gale hadn't been hanging onto me as tightly as he could. At least someone was there to support me right now.

"I'll tell you what you are. You're smart and you're strong. You have everything that you just listed and I know that you will be able to survive through these Games. If Cato cares that much about you, he will save you," Gale said.

My eyes widened. Had I really been so stupid to not think that Cato was thinking about the same things that I was right now? Haymitch even told me so much. He said that Cato had called him begging him to save my life. Cato would be undoing everything that I tried to do in the Games. It just made it that much harder for to save his life. I would just have to hope that Haymitch would keep his word to me.

"Let's get you back," Gale said.

"I'm gonna puke," I mumbled.

"I'll get you to the bathroom."

As we walked back towards my house, Gale kept his hand on my back to support me. It was nice to have someone with me right now. I didn't know if I could take being alone right now. I wanted to be with people in my last few weeks at home. As we walked into my house - with all of my family waiting for me nervously - Gale dragged me inside. My knees gave way and he had to resort to holding me up. As the alcohol overcame my mind, I heard the glass bottle shatter on the floor. That seemed appropriate since I had obviously lost my grip on everything.

"Come on. Let's get you to bed," Katniss said.

"The phone... I need the phone," I mumbled, trying to get away from Gale.

"You need to go to bed," Gale said.

"I need... I need to call... I need to call Cato," I muttered.

"You need to sleep this off," Katniss said.

"The phone. Cat, get me to the phone. Please."

She and Gale exchanged a look. "Just get her to the phone. Let her call him for a few minutes. They can talk more when she's sober again," Katniss convinced Gale.

"Come on. We'll help you," Prim said, helping drag me down the hall.

A moment later I was dropped into the chair and I leaned over the phone, weakly and drunkenly flopping around as I attempted to dial the right number. But when I picked up the receiver there was no noise. It was blank. I tried the number three more times but each time I was met with empty air. Was there a chance that I was too drunk to even dial his number? I knew it. I knew that I knew it. I had dialed it enough times.

"He's not answering," I mumbled.

"Give me the phone. She's drunk," Katniss said. "What's his number?"

"Hand it to me. I know it," Ms. Everdeen said. She tried it twice before furrowing her eyebrows. "There's no answer. The dial tone. The line is dead. We don't have service."

For a moment I fought against Katniss and Gale to get to the phone. I remembered screaming and crying because I couldn't get to him. Because I couldn't talk to him. I was no fool. I knew what had just happened. The Capitol had waited just a few minutes after the announcement to the Quarter Quell before shutting off the phone lines. I wouldn't be able to talk to Cato. No letters and no phone calls. There was nothing that I could do except wait two months and see what happened.

When I woke up, I barely managed to get to the toilet before the white liquor made its reappearance. It burned just as much coming up as it did going down, and tasted twice as bad. Maybe more. I was trembling and sweaty when I finished vomiting, but at least most of the stuff was out of my system. Enough made it into my bloodstream, though, to result in a pounding headache, parched mouth, and a boiling stomach.

I turned on the shower and stood under the warm rain for a minute before I realized that I was still in my underclothes. Ms. Everdeen must have stripped off my filthy outer ones and tucked me in bed. I threw the wet undergarments into the sink and poured shampoo on my head. My hands stung. That was when I noticed the stitches, small and even, across one palm and up the side of the other hand. Vaguely I remembered breaking that glass window last night. I scrubbed myself from head to toe, only stopping to throw up again in the shower. It was mostly just bile and went down the drain with the sweet-smelling bubbles.

Finally clean, I pulled on my robe and headed back to bed, ignoring my dripping hair. It was already early in the afternoon. That was when I realized that Katniss had fallen asleep with me. She was in my bed and curled up on the side. She woke up to look at me and know that I wasn't ready to talk. Instead she opened her eyes and let me climb into her lap to cry, just as we used to let Prim do when she was younger. I climbed under the blankets, sure that this was what it must feel like to be poisoned.

The footsteps on the stairs renewed my panic from last night. I wasn't ready to see Ms. Everdeen and Prim. Not even Katniss, but at least she wasn't speaking. I had to pull myself together to be calm and reassuring, the way I was when we said our goodbyes the day of the last Reaping. I had to be strong. I struggled into an upright position with Katniss's help, pushed my wet hair off my throbbing temples, and braced myself for the meeting. They appeared in the doorway, holding tea and toast, their faces filled with concern. I opened my mouth, planning to start off with some kind of joke, and burst into tears instead.

So much for being strong. Ms. Everdeen sat on the side of the bed and Prim crawled right up next to me with Katniss and they held me, making quiet soothing sounds, until I was mostly cried out. At that point there was nothing more to say and I had run out of tears. Then Prim got a towel and dried my hair for me, combing out the knots, while Ms. Everdeen coaxed tea and toast into me. They dressed me in warm pajamas and layered more blankets on me and I drifted off again with Katniss still in bed with me.

When I came around again I could tell by the light that it was late afternoon. There was a glass of water on my bedside table and I gulped it down thirstily. Katniss was gone by now. My stomach and head still felt rocky, but much better than they did earlier. I rose, dressed, and braided back my hair. Before I went down, I paused at the top of the stairs, feeling slightly embarrassed about the way I'd handled the news of the Quarter Quell. My erratic flight, drinking with Haymitch, and weeping. Given the circumstances, I guessed that I deserved one day of indulgence. I was glad the cameras weren't there for it though.

Downstairs Ms. Everdeen, Katniss, and Prim embraced me again, but they weren't overly emotional. They were holding things in to make it easier on me. Looking at Prim's face, it was hard to imagine she was the same frail little girl I left behind on Reaping day ten months ago. The combination of that ordeal and all that had followed - the cruelty in the District, the parade of sick and wounded that she often treated by herself now if Ms. Everdeen's hands were too full - those things had aged her years. She had grown quite a bit, too. We were practically the same height now, but that wasn't what made her seem so much older.

The rest of the day was very quiet. No one knew much to say and it was close to dinner time anyways. Gale eventually came back to check and make sure that I was okay. Besides being extremely hungover, and very weak from all of the crying, I was feeling much better. We were all sitting on the couch as I had some tea to try and settle the horrible pain in my stomach. Everyone kept shooting me long glances. Clearly they were all worried that I had done something stupid while I had been gone. I had had a dream about dead Tributes talking to me but that wasn't something that they all needed to know.

Ms. Everdeen walked up and wrapped her arms around me. She had really come back after I had been in the Games. It was nice to see her being a mother again rather than checked out. "Oh, Aspen... We were so worried after you ran off. It was hours and we couldn't find you," Ms. Everdeen said.

In the trees was probably a hard place. "I'm sorry. I just needed to get out for a while," I said.

"We understand. We went looking everywhere but I'm sure that you went somewhere that you couldn't be found."

"Yes. I did."

"I don't blame you. Come on, sweetheart," she said, ushering me as she led me into our large dining room. "Sit down at the table, please. We're having dinner. You too, Gale."

Would I even be able to stomach food right now? It still felt like I would be sick. Walking into the dining room slowly, I sat down at the head of the table and glanced at the spread. It looked like everything in the house was put out here. It was everything that I loved. There was a huge chicken roast with more vegetables than I had ever seen. Not to mention all of the potatoes of every kind and a little bit of some sort of red meat. It was more than I had ever seen before that wasn't in the Capitol.

It was obvious enough to see what Ms. Everdeen was doing. She was trying to make me comfortable after everything that had happened to me. She wanted me to know that I had a family back here. A family worth coming back to. But so did Cato. _I'm sorry guys_. Prim came to sit next to me and Katniss took the other side. Gale was next to her and Ms. Everdeen was at the far end of the table. They were all silently digging into their meals and I waited to see who would be the first one to speak.

Not even five minutes into the meal, Prim was the first. Exactly who I had been expecting to talk. "Aspen, I was thinking that maybe you don't have to go into the Games," Prim said.

"What's that," I asked her. I didn't know of any way for me to get out of this but if she knew some way I was more than willing to listen.

"Someone could still volunteer for you, right?" she asked.

"Theoretically," I said slowly.

Technically the volunteer rule was still in place. "The volunteering rule still applies and now I'm old enough to do it. It would be my way of making up last year to you," Prim said.

Unwillingly I choked on my drink. I spit it out over my plate and Katniss patted my back, taking the drink from my hands, which was probably the right thing to do. She made sure that I was alright and I nodded to her before watching her turn her angry look on Prim. Not that she should be angry. It wasn't her fault. Prim was just trying to help.

"Prim, hush. You aren't going to volunteer," Katniss snapped.

"She's right," I said.

"But you're on the right track," Katniss said.

"What are you talking about?" I asked, raising my eyebrows.

Were they actually trying to kill me before I went into the Games? I knew what Katniss was talking about and there was no way that I would ever let her do anything like that. Absolutely not. Katniss turned to me and I shook my head. I could see the gears in her head turning and I knew that it was never a good thing. Not when it came to her sudden ideas.

"Aspen, they can't just get rid of the volunteering rule."

"The volunteer rule is still in place," I said.

"I'll do what I should have done last year," Katniss said.

"Absolutely not," I said, shaking my head even faster. Oh, no. I saw where this one was going.

"I'll volunteer and go in your place. You shouldn't be forced to do this more than once. I'll make up for not fighting hard enough to go into the Games last year," Katniss begged.

Shaking my head at her again, I grabbed her hand and gave her a sad smile. She was willing to die for me because I had saved her and her sister. "I appreciate what you're all saying but there's nothing that can be done," I said.

Gale scoffed. "There's something that can be done," Gale said.

To save an argument, I let it slide. "The volunteer rule should still be in place but it will only be applicable for Victors. I'm the only District 12 female Victor just like Haymitch is the only male Victor. The two of us will be going into the Games and nothing can be done," I said.

I could see the tears glistening in Prim's eyes. I couldn't look at her. Not right now. "How is that fair?" Prim asked.

"Because it's the Capitol. Nothing is fair when it comes to them. It's like I told you all. They're doing this to exterminate the Victors. They're doing it because of what I did last year. They just want me gone," I sighed.

Be damned what anyone else said, I should have died last year. Everyone knew that if I had died things would have been much better. None of this would be happening and Cato would be living happily at home. None of the Victors would be worried right now. They wouldn't be fearing that they were going back into the Games. They would all be happily living their lives. But because of me they were all screwed to hell. Because of what I did, I now had an even bigger target painted on my back. I was going to be the first one dead at this rate. But that might make things better.

"There has to be something that we can do," Gale said.

I glanced over at him. "No, Gale. I'm sorry. There's nothing to be done," I said.

"This isn't fair. It isn't fair for Districts that only have one Victor."

"It's the Capitol. They're never fair."

"They already know that they're going into the Games. You could fight them and tell them that the whole thing has to be fair," Gale suggested.

Unable to stop myself, I laughed loudly and shook my head. He narrowed his eyes at me for a moment and I immediately sobered. He was just trying to help me live and here I was, laughing at his plan. What kind of horrible friend was I? I was right earlier. No one decent ever won the Games. I was slowly proving that to myself. I always had.

"Gale, that's a cowardly thing to do. If I'm going to go into these Games then I have to be brave. I have to show them that it doesn't matter what they do to me. I'm going to be strong the entire way through. They can't screw with me anymore. I'm stronger than they ever thought that I would be," I said, debating on leaving the table and going upstairs.

"We know that," Gale whispered.

Their expressions were slowly killing me. I wasn't sure how much more of this I could take. All I wanted to do was admit the truth of what I planned to do. Katniss shook her head and growled at me. I knew that she was suspicious of me but I couldn't tell her the truth. Not with Gale and Prim here too. I had no doubt in my mind that Ms. Everdeen knew what I was planning on doing. She was a mother and she knew when a kid was holding something back from her. But I wasn't a kid. I was about to turn twenty. But I would never get to see that birthday. Not anymore.

"So what now?" Katniss snapped.

"What?" I asked, feeling suddenly on the defensive.

"We just accept that you're going back into that arena?"

"Pretty much, Cat."

We had no choice here. I knew that it hadn't gone over well with her as her scowled deepened even more. "We should just give up because you've resigned yourself to die?" Katniss asked.

"I haven't resigned myself to death. I'll try," I said, lying through my teeth.

"Sure you will. We're not letting you die. That is not what friends are for. We are going to fight for you to stay here," Katniss said, placing her hand on my shoulder.

It hurt me to see how much they were all determined for me to live. To get to live the life that I had been promised. But it was a life that had been stolen from me a long time ago. I couldn't even be angry. Because it wasn't a promise. Like everything else, it was only a lie. I should have known that there was no way that the Capitol was going to leave me alone, even though I won the Games. Not after the stupid things that I had done.

"You are going to stop this and you are going to realize that I have to go into the Games," I ordered.

The shock settled over her face. "Aspen -"

"You are going to do that because you know that this is the only way that I can guarantee your safety. The one good thing is that I know ahead of time that I'll be going. When the time comes, the night before, I'm going to say goodbye to you all," I said.

Katniss shook her head. I took a deep breath. I would have to do it soon. I wouldn't have the time on Reaping Day. "You don't have to do that," Katniss whispered.

"I will. Just because three minutes tomorrow won't be enough and I don't want to look weak," I told her.

She looked like she wanted to say something but before she could, I heard Prim's sharp cry. I turned back and saw that her eyes were red and brimmed with tears. "No, please don't, Aspen. There has to be something that can be done," Prim said.

"I wish that there was something that could be done, I really do. But I can't. No one can, Prim," I said.

As much as I wished that something would mean that Cato and I really could get to live together, it would never happen. "Maybe this isn't even real. Maybe this is just President Snow trying to scare you," Prim said.

She was such a child. It killed me. I missed that kind of innocence. Shaking my head at her slightly and trying to force a smile on my face, I noticed that she sniffled back a tear. I sighed and handed her my napkin. "I would love to think that that's true, Prim, but it isn't. He meant every word that he said," I told her softly.

"You'll try to come back. Right?" Prim asked.

"Of course," I whispered.

The pain of telling the lie shot through me. But I couldn't tell her that I was going to give my life for Cato's. She would find that out in due time. The table was silent for a long while as everyone awkwardly picked at their food. Katniss got up about halfway through the meal. We all knew that things were going to be very tense over the next two months. It was a long time before something occurred to me. I had to go back and check on Haymitch. I would need him alive during the Quarter Quell to help me with Cato. The one thing that I had to do was get him ready for the fight.

So I told the others that I needed to head out with Haymitch for a while. Ms. Everdeen ladled out a mug of broth for me, and I asked for a second mug to take to Haymitch. Then I walked across the lawn to his house. He was only just waking up and accepted the mug without comment. We sat there, almost peacefully, sipping our broth and watching the sun set through his living room window. I heard someone walking around upstairs and I assumed it was Hazelle, but a few minutes later Katniss came down and tossed a cardboard box of empty liquor bottles on the table with finality.

Apparently she had come here. What the hell was she doing? "There, it's done," Katniss said.

It was taking all of Haymitch's resources to focus his eyes on the bottles, so I spoke up. "What's done?" I asked.

"I've poured all the liquor down the drain," Katniss said.

"What?" I asked, stunned.

That seemed to jolt Haymitch out of his stupor, and he pawed through the box in disbelief. "You what?" he asked angrily.

"I tossed the lot," Katniss said.

"He'll just buy more," I said.

"No, he won't. I tracked down Ripper this morning and told her I'd turn her in the second she sold to either of you. I paid her off, too, just for good measure, but I don't think she's eager to be back in the Peacekeepers' custody," Katniss explained.

My jaw dropped. Haymitch took a swipe with his knife but Katniss deflected it so easily it was pathetic. "Get away from her," I snapped, shoving Haymitch down. But anger rose up in me as I turned towards her. "What business is it of yours what he does?"

"It's completely my business. However it falls out, the two of you are going to be in the arena again. We can't afford any drunkards on your team. Especially not you, Aspen," Katniss snarled.

Obviously she was determined to keep me alive. "What?" I sputtered indignantly. It would have been more convincing if I weren't still so hungover. "Last night's the only time I've ever even been drunk."

"Yeah, and look at the shape you're in," Katniss said.

Well that definitely wasn't what I was expecting. I'd thought that she was going to be a sweetheart about everything. The way that she was last night. Just like a younger sister should have been. I wasn't really sure what I was supposed to be expecting from my first real, sober, meeting with Katniss after the announcement. A few hugs and maybe another nap. A little comfort maybe. Definitely not that. I turned to Haymitch.

"Don't worry, I'll get you more liquor," I said.

"Then I'll turn you both in. Let you sober up in the stocks," Katniss said.

"What's the point to this?" Haymitch asked.

"The point is that one of you is coming home from the Capitol. One Victor. I got Effie to start sending me recordings of all the living Victors. We're going to watch their Games and learn everything we can about how they fight. We're going to put on weight and get strong. We're going to start acting like Careers. And one of you is going to be Victor again whether you two like it or not!" Katniss snapped.

Without saying another word she swept out of the room and slammed the front door behind her. Haymitch and I winced at the bang. My head was still pounding with the little bits of the hangover. I stared at Haymitch as the two of us sat in silence for a little while. I was not fond of the way that she was acting right now.

"I don't like self-righteous people," I said.

"What's to like?" Haymitch asked, as he began sucking the dregs out of the empty bottles.

"Me. That's who she plans on coming home," I said.

"Well, then the joke's on her," Haymitch said.

But after a few days, we agreed to act like Careers, as much as I really didn't want to, because that was the best way to get the two of us ready to protect Cato. I knew that he must have been training as hard as he could back in the Academy in District 2. Likely many Victors were training. I'd tried to get in touch with him, but every phone in the District that I had access to was out. Every night we watched the old recaps of the Games that the remaining Victors won. I realized that we never met any of them - save Finnick - on the Victory Tour, which seemed odd in retrospect.

When I brought it up, Haymitch said that the last thing that President Snow would have wanted was to show Cato and me - especially me - bonding with other Victors in potentially rebellious Districts. Victors had a special status, and if they appeared to be supporting my defiance of the Capitol, it would have been dangerous politically. Adjusting for age, I realized some of our opponents may be elderly, which was both sad and reassuring. Katniss took copious notes, Haymitch volunteered information about the Victors' personalities, and slowly we began to know our competition.

Every morning we did exercises to strengthen our bodies. We ran - which I excelled at - and lifted things and stretched our muscles. Sometimes people would watch because they were interested. Every afternoon we worked on combat skills, throwing knives, and fighting hand to hand. Gale offered to help with that much. I even taught Haymitch to climb trees. Officially, Tributes weren't supposed to train, but no one tried to stop us. Even in regular years, the Tributes from Districts 1, 2, and 4 show up able to wield spears and swords. Like Cato had. This was nothing by comparison.

After all the years of abuse, Haymitch's body resisted improvement. We had a tough time getting him used to training again. He was still remarkably strong, but the shortest run winded him. So we were having a hard time getting him used to running. He still couldn't go more than a mile without getting exhausted, but it would be enough for him to get away from the Bloodbath. And you would think a guy who slept every night with a knife might actually be able to hit the side of a house with one, but his hands shook so badly that it took weeks for him to achieve even that.

I excelled under the new regimen, though. It gave me something to do. It gave us all something to do besides accept defeat. Ms. Everdeen put us on a special diet to gain weight. Prim treated our sore muscles. Madge snuck us her father's Capitol newspapers. Predictions on who would be Victor of the Victors showed Cato and I among the favorites, which was relieving to see. So were most of the District 2 Victors, though, and Finnick was also there.

Even Gale stepped into the picture on Sundays, although he had no love for Haymitch, or Cato, who he knew that I was trying to save, and taught us all that he knew about snares. It was hard for me to perfect them but Gale stayed up with me late in the nights to ensure that I had them absolutely perfect and could do them blindfolded. It was weird for me, being in conversations with both Haymitch and Gale, but they seemed to have set aside whatever issues they had about each other.

One night, as I was walking Gale back into town, he even admitted, about Cato, "It'd be better if he were easier to hate."

That wasn't what I was expecting. We had talked many times about how Cato was likely training to save my life. "Tell me about it. If I could've just hated him in the arena, we all wouldn't be in this mess now. He'd be dead, and I'd be a happy little Victor all by myself," I said.

"And where would we be, Aspen?" Gale asked.

For a moment I paused, unsure of what to say. Where would I be with my pretend cousin who wouldn't be my cousin if it weren't for Cato? Would he have still kissed me and would I have kissed him back had I been free to do so? Would I have let myself open up to him, lulled by the security of money and food and the illusion of safety being a Victor could bring under different circumstances? But there would still always be the Reaping looming over us and over our children. No matter what I wanted...

"Hunting. Like every Sunday," I said.

In the back of my mind I knew that he didn't mean the question literally, but that was as much as I could honestly give. Gale knew I chose him when I didn't make a run for it. But I had always chosen Cato. To save him in the Games last year and to save him now. To me, there was no point in talking about things that might have been. Even if I had killed Cato in the arena, I still wouldn't have wanted to marry anyone. I only got engaged to save people's lives and that completely backfired.

I was afraid, anyway, that any kind of emotional scene with Gale might cause him to do something drastic. Like start that uprising in the mines. Bad, bad, bad idea. I couldn't have him dead when I was about to go to the Capitol where I couldn't help him. And as Haymitch said, District 12 wasn't ready for that. If anything, they were less ready than before the Quarter Quell announcement, because the following morning another hundred Peacekeepers arrived on the train. Not that we needed any more of them.

Since I didn't plan on making it back alive a second time, the sooner Gale let me go, the better. I did plan on saying one or two things to him after the Reaping, or maybe before, when we were allowed three minutes for goodbyes. To let Gale know how essential he had been to me all these years. How much better my life had been for knowing him. For loving him, even if it was only in the limited way that I could manage. But I would never get the chance.

The next two months passed without issue. I was slowly getting stronger. Ms. Everdeen guessed that I had put on about ten pounds in muscle, which was something that I needed. I could see my muscles becoming more prominent and my face was less bony. My eyes looked sharper and I had perfected my skills with every weapon we had access to here. And as for wrestling, I was undefeated. But finally we were at the dinner before the Reaping in the morning. I knew that it was time to say a real goodbye. Because three minutes just wasn't enough. Gale was here for dinner tonight.

"I'm going to say my goodbyes to you now," I said, breaking the silence.

"Aspen -" Katniss started.

"Please listen," I said. They all nodded slowly. I turned to Katniss and saw that she was staring at me with sad eyes. "Katniss, you know that I love you."

"I love you too," she said, almost weeping.

"I love you like family because you are my family. I'm leaving District 12 tomorrow but you know that a part of me will always be here with you. Take my weapons from the woods once you can get under the fence. Don't worry. With me gone they'll turn off the electricity. Keep the weapons with you to defend yourself. Please don't go looking for revenge. I know that you will. It won't end well. I know that more than anyone else.

"Do you remember when I sat with you after your father died and told you that everything would be alright?" I asked.

"Yes," she whispered weakly.

"Good. I'm going to tell you that again. Everything will be okay. Maybe not today and maybe not tomorrow, but things will get better. You keep the same promise that I made you keep last year, okay?"

"Of course."

"You make sure that if it looks like things are going badly, you make sure that Prim is not in the room. I don't want her to see anything that happens to me. I love you. You are my family," I told her.

The younger girl brought me into a hug and I sighed into her hair. She wore the same lavender scented soap that I did and I smiled. Cato wore it too. Maybe one day they would meet and they could be friends. I would like that. Maybe I would make that my dying wish. I wanted them to love each other. Not the way that I loved him, but just so that they could respect my life together. They would have common ground. My loss.

"I love you too, Aspen. You know that," Katniss said.

"Yes. I do."

"You mean the world to me and I wish that you would try to fight this but I understand why you don't want to."

"Thank you," I said, glad that she was choosing to understand.

"You can make it through this. You can get back to us. But I know that President Snow will do everything in his power to keep you away from us. That doesn't matter. I love you and I always will. No matter what happens, everything that I do will be for you," Katniss said.

"I appreciate that, you have no idea how much that means to me," I told her and she nodded. I smiled at her and brushed back a loose strand of hair. It was one of the little curls that I had always loved. I would miss being able to do that.

"I know," Katniss whispered.

Slowly I turned to the other end of the table and faced Ms. Everdeen, who was watching me with a soft smile. "Mom. It would take me all night to say everything that I want to say to you so I'll keep it short. I wouldn't even be here if it weren't for you. You have done more for me than anyone else ever has. I know that you made a promise to my mother but you never had to honor it after she died. You could have put me in the orphanage or just put me out of the street and I would have died in infancy. But I thank you. Because you kept me and took care of me, I lived," I said.

Her smile grew slightly. "It was my pleasure," Ms. Everdeen said.

"To repay you I saved both of your daughters. And now for one more year I can save them. Katniss will only have one more year to go after I'm gone and Prim will get a pass this year. Do not ever let them take out the Tessera," I said.

"Of course not," Ms. Everdeen said.

"You have this beautiful house and I will ensure that the Capitol continues to fund this family after I'm gone. It's the least that I can do for you when you've done everything for me. You gave up everything for me and you raised me like your own child. You aren't my birth mother but I will always consider you my mother. I love you so much and thank you," I said softly.

Tears were fighting to fall from my eyes and I glanced down to blink them away. I didn't want to cry. Not yet. Not when there was a chance that I would be crying tomorrow. If there was a chance that I would realize that Cato was going into the Hunger Games to try and save my life. I would save my tears for the sad moments. Not the happy ones. Ms. Everdeen reached across the table to run her hand over my arm and I smiled.

"Aspen, you know that you never have to thank me for anything that I've ever done for you," Ms. Everdeen said.

"No. I do have to thank you for everything," I said.

I should have apologized to her for placing her family in any danger, even though I hadn't meant to. "I did everything that I did for you because I loved your mother and father. They were wonderful people and I knew that you would be the best of the both of them," Ms. Everdeen said.

"Thank you," I said softly.

"Sweetheart, it doesn't matter if I didn't give birth to you, you are my daughter," Ms. Everdeen said.

"And you are my mother. I'm luckier than I ever thought. I have two," I said sweetly.

"You always will. I thank you for saving the two of them, but I am so sorry that it hurt you," Ms. Everdeen said.

"Please don't apologize to me. You have nothing to apologize for. I told Katniss earlier and I'll tell you now. I would do everything that I had done for you all over and over again if it ensured that you all would be safe. Every injury was well worth it," I said.

"Thank you, Aspen. For everything."

"My pleasure." Turning back over to Prim I nodded at the younger girl and held out my hand. "Prim, come here," I said. She came to stand in front of me and I took her hand. "Okay, I'm going to try and get back to you, do you understand me?"

A pang of guilt hit my stomach at the blatant lie but I knew that I would have to lie to her right now. She didn't deserve the truth. She deserved a well thought out lie. Hopefully one day she would be able to forgive me. "Yes," Prim said, nodding slowly.

"But you have to listen to me. This isn't like it was last year. Last year there were only a few trained kids and no one knew what to expect going in. Not really even the Careers. This year is so different. I know what's going to happen when I get into that arena, but so do they. Everyone that will be in these Games has competed in a Games before. They all know what's going to happen. Everyone is strong in one suit and the most common will be fighting. These aren't just cocky kids, they're trained killers.

"But I promise you that I will not give up. I promise that I'll fight for you until the end. You know that right?" I asked.

"Of course," she said, as I brushed back her hair and smiled.

"Good girl. I volunteered for you last year so that I could save your life. Even now that I know that I'll be going back into the Games, I do not regret what I did. I'd do it a thousand times over," I told her honestly.

Prim hugged me tightly and I stifled a sob that threatened to escape my mouth. I had to keep it together. For her and for everyone else at this table. They deserved that much. "I love you so much, Aspen," Prim said.

"I love you too, Prim," I whispered.

"I don't care that you aren't really related to us. You are a sister to me," Prim said.

"You're as much my sister as you are Katniss's. You both are," I said.

They all nodded. We all knew that. "I just wish that you hadn't done anything last year so that way you would be safe this year. But I know why you did it and I thank you. I promise that no matter what I'll make you proud. I'll do something with my life," Prim said.

Whatever Prim did with her life it would be something that I would be proud of. I would look down on her with a smile. I would look down on all of them with a smile. They were all good people that would get past this. I knew that they would. "Good girl. I believe you. I believe that you'll do everything to make me proud. I already am proud of you, sweetheart. You're making a great doctor and I can see that," I told her.

It was true. I wasn't patronizing her. She was good at what she did. "Thank you," Prim said.

Finally I let go of her hands and turned to face Gale. What the hell did I say here? "Gale, I guess you're the last person that I have to say something to. There are so many things that I want to tell you but I only have so much time. I love you, Gale. You know that," I said.

He nodded slowly. Part of me wondered if he actually believed me. "I love you too, Aspen," Gale said.

"I always will love you, no matter how mad you get at me. I know that you hate Cato, but you might not have to worry anymore. By the end of this he might be dead right with me," I said. For a moment I thought that I saw a little shake of Gale's head. "I want you to know that it doesn't matter what you say to me or how bad you think my choices are, I will always stand with you. I just want you to know that you are my best friend and you mean the world to me.

"I don't know what I would have done through all of these years without you. You were the one thing that kept me going," I continued. He gave me a little smile. At least I had said something right. "The fact that I knew that you would never forgive me if I just gave up. I owe you my life. I just want you to know that."

Gale walked over to me and grabbed my hand and I smiled at him. How could we have been fighting so much recently? He was my friend and we loved each other. We were just being children. But none of that mattered now. Not anymore. He brought my head into his shoulder so that I could place my head into his neck. Just the way that I had done a thousand times before. The last time that I would ever get a chance to do that.

"I don't hate you, Aspen. You have to know that. You are and always will be my best friend. I'm sorry about not making you feel any better about Cato but you have to understand how we saw it," Gale said.

"I understand what you meant."

"He was just some monster that kept playing with your feelings. But I don't want him dead because I know what that would do to you," Gale said.

I couldn't help but to smile at him. Had he just given me his blessing to be with Cato? I'd take it. "Thank you, Gale," I said.

"But if you get the chance to get back here somehow, please take it. Please don't be the hero. I love you," he said.

I nodded, giving him a peck on the cheek. He let me go and I turned back to the other three women in the room, taking my seat back at the table. "Thank you. All of you. You are all the reason that I even made it through the Games in the first place," I said.

"We were rooting for you the entire time. We still will be," Ms. Everdeen said.

I noticed a proud smile settle over all of their faces. "You have no idea how many times I just wanted to roll over and die but it was you all that kept me going. I knew that I couldn't make Prim deal with the guilt of me dying. I didn't want to make you lose another person to the Games," I told Ms. Everdeen. She nodded at me. "Gale, I knew that if I didn't come back you would kill me again." Gale gave me a little smile and a nod. "Katniss, I didn't want to risk you starting a war with the Capitol because I didn't live."

She chuckled under her breath. We all fell into a little silence but it was nowhere near as tense as the first one that we had been in. Everyone knew that we had all made our peace with each other and even if I didn't live, which I wouldn't, I would know that they were all okay without me. I couldn't just leave knowing with even the slightest doubt in my mind that something would be wrong. I hoped that once I died everything would go back. Snow would leave my family alone, Cato would live happily, Seneca would lose the strange attitude that he had, the Games would go back to normal, and people wouldn't be killed in the streets.

It was a hefty order but it was something that I was praying would happen. Maybe without me around things would even get better. That was all that I could hope for at this rate. Clearing my throat and pushing the plate that was sitting in front of me back, I stood and looked over the family that all watched me with cautious eyes. My family. Even after all of these years, they were still trying to protect me. Even after everything that had happened.

"Alright, I love you all and I hope that you take what I said tonight to heart. I will miss all of you and I will see all of you in the morning," I said.

"Goodnight," Ms. Everdeen said.

"Sleep well," Katniss added.

"See you in the morning," Gale said.

"Love you," Prim whispered.

It looked like Prim was going to ask me to stay down here but I had to come up with a way to get myself upstairs and by myself. I had something important to do before I left. "Tomorrow will be a long day and I will have to be awake from it. There won't be any waving and smiling tomorrow. Not like last time. This is war," I said.

They all nodded without saying anything. Because there was nothing more to say. As I headed upstairs I got little pats on the shoulder and hugs from everyone, but now they were silent. No one knew what to say and no one really had anything to say. There was nothing left to say after what I had said during dinner. Actually there were plenty of things to say to everyone, but only things that I would have wanted to tell them individually. As I took a seat on bed, I wondered what type of Gamemaker Plutarch Heavensbee would be. He seemed a tiny bit kind but I wasn't sure how kind someone could be that was a Gamemaker.

And I was sure that President Snow would be watching over his shoulder. And the President would not take very kindly to anyone trying to help me out in the Games, even though Plutarch had seemed to like me. He had even told me that he would be seeing me soon. At the time I had thought that he meant that he would see me as a Mentor for the next Games. But had he known what the theme was for these Games? Was that what he had meant? Probably. Being the Head Gamemaker, he probably had known months ago what these Games would be. Maybe that was why he was as interested in me as he had been.

Flopping onto my back I let my mind wander off of Plutarch and found it stuck on Seneca Crane. He must have known what these Games would be. Somehow he had known, even though he wasn't really even a Gamemaker anymore. He had to earn his title back in President Snow's eyes. The last time that Seneca had seen me he had told me to keep up my hunting skills. But why would he have told me that? There was only one thing that I could think of. He somehow knew that these Games would mean that I was going to make my return into the arena.

Was he trying to help me? Was it possible that he cared about me for more than my body? Well, if that was so, he was sure doing a terrible job. Why did he not just tell me outright? Actually, that probably would have been a bad idea. And maybe he hadn't really been absolutely sure. This was all just too much. Everyone knew everything and no one was honest with each other. At least in death everything would be silent. I would no longer have to listen to these plans. I would never have to be a pawn in someone else's games ever again. I would be my own, for all of eternity.

Deciding that I had to do something before I left in the morning, I stood up and kicked off my clothes. The only thing that I would wear from here on out would be Capitol clothes that had been particularly designed for me. No more old District 12 clothes. Only gowns and fancy fitted clothing and the arena outfit, the last outfit that I would ever wear. My pants pooled around my feet and I reached into my cabinet for a long shirt that I could wear. I pulled out a long black shirt and smiled.

It had been Gale's years ago before he had grown out of it. He had given it to me and I still wore it whenever I needed the comfort. Slipping it over my head, I took a seat by the desk and sighed. Grabbing a pen, I pressed it to a blank piece of paper and let every thought that I had on my mind loose. It was near an hour when I finally looked at the four letters in front of me and I flipped through them, making sure that it was everything that I had wanted to say before I died.

 _Mom,_

 _You know I love you more than anything and I wanted to tell you something that I never got to tell either Katniss or you. Prim was definitely too young to know. Not that she was old enough to see what happened to her. But I was trying to protect her. And as for Katniss... I didn't really want to tell her because I thought that she might kill me if I told her._

 _I'm not really sure why I feel the need to tell you but I think that you are the one person who should know this if I die. Because I feel like someone should know. And, in the event that I live, please don't kill me. I just had to let you know that I was under so much stress because of the Victory Tour that I did something. I did it for one reason, but I won't burden you telling you about what that is._

 _Anyways, I slept with Cato during our stay at the Capitol. It was something that I felt like I needed to do and it was everything that I could have asked for. It was a little embarrassing - which I assumed that it would be - but it was when I knew that I really was in love with Cato. And I promise that I really am in love with him. I will be until the moment that I die._

 _I couldn't tell everyone else because I felt like it was something that they didn't need to know. They definitely would have killed me. And I couldn't say it out loud because I couldn't risk it getting back to the Capitol. That would be a nightmare. But I wanted you to know. Just know that we were safe and it made me happier. One of the few moments that I had been genuinely happy after the Games._

 _Thank you for everything that you have done for me and thank you for understanding about Cato and me._

 _Love, Aspen._

Smiling at the letter slightly, I dropped it onto the table. I knew that out of anyone, Ms. Everdeen would be the one to understand what Cato and I had done. Obviously she was the only one of the friends that I had that even knew what it was like. Prim was too young, Katniss didn't care about it, and Gale was always waiting for me. But that was never going to happen. I guessed that he knew that now.

And I had meant what I said. When Katniss finally found out that I had slept with Gale she was going to dig me out of my grave and pull my skull free from my spine. But it was so worth it. He knew what he was doing. Of course the thought only burned a little. I was so used to everyone around me having never done it, but Cato, he had been with plenty of girls. I knew that to him though, I was the only one that meant anything. And he knew that I felt the same. I could only hope that she would understand that. I picked up the next letter and smiled again.

 _Prim,_

 _I guess I just wanted to tell you something that I couldn't tell you at the table that day. You had asked me once why I was getting married to Cato. The truth is, I wasn't going to get married to him. Not for a long time. Maybe not ever. No matter how much I loved him, it wasn't something that I ever thought that I would be ready for._

 _We were supposed to act grateful during the Victory Tour to placate the Districts. We did not do that successfully. The two of us got people killed on the Tour. At least two. Maybe more. So I made the suggestion of getting married to be our last effort to make President Snow believe that we were in love, which I promise that we really are. I'm not really sure if it worked but because of this Quarter Quell, I'm inclined to think that it did not._

 _In all honesty, I do love Cato and I want you to know that. I am not upset that we are getting married. If anything, I am happy. At least if I do die during these Games I will have been married to a man that I loved. Or engaged, I should say._

 _But I won't dwell on that. I will fight to get back to you, but please do not blame yourself if I can't. None of this was your fault. I promise you that. I would do anything to protect you and the rest of your family and you know that. Please do not ever think that this was you. Never, sweetheart._

 _I love you, Prim. Be strong for me. Be the Mockingjay when I cannot._

 _Love, Aspen._

In all honesty I wasn't sure why exactly I was telling Prim that she was right about me not really wanting to get married to Cato. But at the moment it was something that she deserved to know. It was something that she had deserved to know a long time ago. Although I did want her to know that I really did love him and I was happy that we were getting married. I would always be happy with Cato. Even if it meant that I was going to sacrifice myself for him.

No one had decided on an official date for my wedding. I would probably get married to Cato before the Games, as a little kick off or celebration, and the thought made my stomach roil. Actually, they would probably make it the day after to add to the tragedy. They wouldn't even let me be happy for a moment before they sent me off to die. We wouldn't even husband and wife before we died. As my eyes flitted over the paper I smiled when I saw that I had called her the Mockingjay. She would make a much better one than me. I placed the paper on top of the one that I had written to Ms. Everdeen and read over the next one.

 _Katniss,_

 _I'm not really sure how to go about this. I love you and you're my best friend but I'm not exactly sure how to tell you what's been going on lately. I think that I should tell you something that I couldn't figure out how to tell anyone else. I never could tell anyone because it would have gotten you killed. Please never speak a word of this to anyone else. It will devastate them. It might hurt you, but you're strong. I have to let you know what happens after the Games._

 _Every Victor is supposed to pick a talent. You know that. Most of us claim that it is modelling or fashion designing or something like that. Cato's is sword fighting. Teaching the kids. But it is never what they say that it is. My own talent is fashion designing, but of course it's Cinna doing all of the work. Behind the backs of the Capitol and District people, I was told to do something else._

 _Much to my horror, I was told to essentially be the personal slave of Seneca Crane. You see, I was his favorite Tribute during the Games and the fact that President Snow thought that he could break me is the only reason that he's still alive. I have been able to avoid doing anything with him so far. Other than a few kisses that were not welcomed, one night where he came very close to taking what was mine, and a little attack from him, I've been unharmed. But he did tell me the last time that I saw him to keep hunting and keep my skills up. I think that he knew what was going to happen._

 _Anyways, please never fault this on yourself and never tell anyone what I just told you. It will only hurt them. I love you, Cat._

 _Love, Aspen._

Picking at the edge of the letter that I had written to Katniss, I felt my nerves begin to stand on end. Maybe I shouldn't have told her about Seneca. But I wanted someone to know. There was just something in me that wanted someone that was still alive to know. Since chances were that the people that did know - Finnick, Haymitch, and me - would likely be dead. The people needed to know once I was dead. I wanted someone to know about the horrors of what the Capitol made its Victors do.

I smiled at Cinna's mention. The man was so wonderful and he would be one of the people that I would genuinely miss. I hoped that I would do his work justice before going into the Games. The word slave made my skin crawl and I shook my head. I was just glad that nothing had happened between the two of us more than a near-miss. I knew that Katniss would keep her word about not saying anything and I hoped that it was something that she would be able to look past. Finally I placed the letter down on the table and I went to looking over the last letter. The hardest one to write.

 _Gale,_

 _I'm not really sure what I should tell you. I know that there are probably a lot of things that you would like to hear me say. I want you to know that I really do love you and I will always love you. I have meant it every single time that I have told you before. I swear to you that it was the one thing that I have never lied to you about. That I do love you._

 _You are the one person that made sure that I stayed alive in that arena, whether you know it or not. Every time I wanted to give up I thought about what you would think of me or what you would be telling me._

 _There's something else that you need to know. I want you to know that there will always be a little part of me that loves you romantically. I mean, you are the man that I always thought that I would marry. But it can't be that way. I'm so sorry that I have to tell you that. I thought one day you would be my husband. But it's never going to work that way. It can't._

 _I am going to die during these Games. I'm so sorry about that. But I don't intend to win these Games. Please never tell the others that I said that. I know that I won't win. Snow will never let me win. Not after all that I had done to him and his stupid Games. Not with everything that I've already done. He'd rather have no Victor._

 _Anyways, there is something else that I wanted you to know. The way that Katniss looks at you. I see it in her eyes. She loves you. That much is obvious. And I know that you thought that if it wasn't me that you would end up with it would be Katniss. I know that part of you loves her. Please focus on that part. Make it my dying wish I suppose. Be happy with Katniss. Ask her on a date. Please. I wish the two of you all of the luck in the world._

 _I love you. Make me proud._

 _Love, Aspen._

My handwriting was slightly nicer in Gale's letter and I almost laughed. He had always made fun of me for having such ugly handwriting so I had always made it a point to write with a neat hand. Although Cato definitely had worse handwriting than I did. And I still swore that Gale had worse handwriting than I did. I meant every word that was written in the letter. I would always love Gale. He was that person in my life that I would always love, no matter what he did.

And he was the one person that would always have a little sliver of my heart. Some part of me did love him romantically but it couldn't happen. Not between the two of us. Not after everything that had happened back in the Games. Not because of Cato. As I read over Katniss's name, I hoped that he would listen to me. I knew that Katniss had a little crush on Gale. I knew that she always had. I wanted the two of them to have each other once I died. I wanted them both to find some happiness in life.

Folding each of the letters into each other, I wrote the respective names across each one. Once I had sealed them and placed them inside of the drawer I grabbed a pen that was sitting on top of my desk and pulled out a piece of paper and wrote across it ' _Once I am gone please read the envelopes inside of my desk. It is important. Please forgive me_.' I sighed at my writing and slipped back over to my bed, slinking under the sheets. They would read them. I knew that someone would come in here to check on my room once I died.

It hurt me to think that only after I left would they know the truth of what had happened. But they would understand. And I wouldn't have to live with looking at them. They would understand because they had to understand. They had to know that I needed Cato to live. He deserved it. I didn't. As much as I used to hate to admit it, I knew that he was the better of the two of us. They would have to forgive me because it was time for me to finally play my part, just the way that President Snow had always wanted. It was my time to die.

 **A/N:** Here's another fully edited chapter. **Let me know what you think!** Until next time -A


	9. Chapter 9

Like most days over the past year, the morning came all too fast. Birds were chirping outside the window and the sun was high in the sky. Even inside the air conditioned house I could tell that the air outside was stifling. It the middle of the summer. Although it would be much warmer in District 2. And the Capitol. I almost missed the winter air. As much as I didn't love the bitter cold, it was nicer than sweating it out. It reminded me too much of my frequent treks through the middle of the day in the arena.

The bright light was blaring through my window and I grimaced, debating on shoving my head under the pillows that were threatening to swallow me. But I knew that it was the wrong thing to do. There were other things that I had to do. Like say goodbye to my family. A final goodbye before it was time for me to leave. Instead of slipping back into the darkness like I would have preferred, I forced myself to roll out of bed and grunted when I landed on the ground at the side of my bed. It was one of the less graceful ways that I had woken myself up but it wasn't like I was really waking up to a wonderful day full of promises.

But that wasn't really true. There were plenty of things that I had to look forward to today. Those were the things that I had to keep thinking about. I just had to keep reminding myself that there were good things that would come out of today. Not many, but there were some. Gale was officially too old to be in the Reaping, as he would be turning twenty in a few months, so that meant that no matter what happened to me, I would get to know that he would never fall victim to these Games. He would get to grow old and fall in love and have a family. Hopefully with Katniss. I would have liked that.

Gale would get to have the life that he always wanted and the one that I had always wanted for him. Katniss, on the other hand, would be safe for one more year, and then she would only have one more year left. The odds were in her favor to make it through this thing without any more damage. She hadn't had to take out anymore Tessera from the last year with the money that I had made from the Games, so her name would never be in the Reaping Ball more times. Only the required additional one each year.

She would get to grow old and hopefully be with Gale. Maybe she would realize that she did want little kids running around with her out in the woods. She could be happy with her little family and she would forget my name in a matter of years. She would get the life that she deserved. Prim would get through this year safe and because of me she would never have to take out Tessera. Her name would always be in that bowl only once. The odds were in her favor too. Never again would she hear her name called. Ms. Everdeen would get to live out the rest of her life knowing that her family was intact. They would all be happy.

It wasn't even just them that would get to live happily ever after. There were a number of people that would have a much happier and easier life once I was dead. Once I was gone, Seneca Crane would have no bit of shame looming over his head from my Games. I would be dead and he could try to earn back his title of Head Gamemaker. He could get to do what he had always wanted to do. And he would find some other woman that he loved. Not one that he just thought was pretty.

President Snow would never again have to look at me and see the failure of his last Games. He would never have to worry about the uprisings in the Districts. They would lose their initiative to fight once their Mockingjay - the symbol of their rebellion - was dead. President Snow would never have to wake up in the morning and think about how to get rid of me. He would never again have to think about how to do the damage control from my latest actions, which always seemed to be bothering him.

President Snow would once more have people that would bow down to him without thinking about it. Everyone in the Capitol would be carefree and Effie would get over it. She had her Victor, who she was very proud of. It wasn't her fault if she lost me during my second Games. She already had her Victor. Cinna would get over me too. I was only someone pretty to wear his costumes. Anyone could do that. He could make a new Mockingjay. One that wouldn't screw everything up.

Then there was Cato. He was the one person that I was worried about. He was the one person that I needed to make sure would have a happy life once I was gone. Because that was everything that he deserved. Not what I had put him through. As I paced my room I thought about what he would be doing without me. Probably the same thing that he had always been prepared to do. The life that he had always thought that he would have. He would live the lifestyle of a Victor. The proper lifestyle. Not this bullshit about bringing us back into the arena to fight to the death again.

No. He would have a much better life without me. He would get to marry some pretty girl in District 2 that had always wanted to go into the Games, but was too afraid to break a nail. Or a rib. Perhaps he would be with Skye or Julie. I knew that they, like Gale with me, were in love with him. They would have kids together that would train for the Games and they would all become Victors. They would sit in the Hadley household and they would all laugh together until the end of their days because they weren't afraid of the Games. But that was in a perfect world. And this world was far from that.

But I was no fool. No. Right now Cato was probably comforting his family in the last hour that he had before someone would come to drag him away from his house and onto the stage in the middle of District 2 where he would have to make a choice. Actually, there was a good chance that he was already on his way to the Capitol. It was already ten in the morning and the Reapings started at eight in the morning. At this point Cato would have had a choice to make. I had talked to Haymitch and he had apparently gotten a message through to Brutus about going into the Games rather than Cato, and Brutus had agreed.

The question was now what would happen. Cato could either volunteer for the Games to protect me, or he could stay on the outside and hope with his gifts and eye on me, I would make it out. I knew how hard that choice would be for him. Neither one genuinely guaranteed my safety. In the back of my mind I knew what his choice would be. He was going to sacrifice himself so that I would be able to live. It was so noble of him. I could only hope that he wouldn't be a moron and he would let someone else go back into the Games. I was wrong about how many male Victors there were from District 2. Nine.

The odds were not in his favor. It meant that he would likely get the chance to volunteer. The thought broke my heart. I was sure that right now Skye and Julie were steaming over how unfair it was and they were both probably pissed about how they were going to have to say goodbye to their best friend once more. I wondered if they were blaming me for it. It was very likely that many of the Victors were. And Skye, her sister was a Victor. Was she worried for her? Cato's mother was probably fighting to keep a strong face, just like his father would be. They had to be strong for their son and for the rest of their family.

We would see how well that would work. I wasn't even sure if I would be able to keep a stony look when I was up on that stage. Because I was heartbroken about this. Aidan might have actually been looking forward to his brother getting another chance to prove himself. But in the back of his mind he would be afraid that today would be the last day that he would ever get to see his brother. He had no reason to be worried. I would get Cato home. No matter what I had to do to get him there.

The two youngest girls would have no idea why their brother had disappeared again. They would only know that he was leaving them. And this time it wasn't by choice. Not a genuine choice. They would only know that Cato would be coming back. Because he had to come back. Unlike the rest of their family, Carrie and Dean would know the truth. They knew right now that Cato was planning on sacrificing himself to save me. I knew that and they knew that too. But what they didn't know was that it wouldn't work. He wasn't going to die. I was.

With all of my grim thoughts racing through my head, and knowing that I had to get up and start getting ready for the day, I glanced back up at the clock. It was now ticking past ten in the morning. The Reapings would have been going on for almost two hours. That meant that District 2 had already gone through their Reaping. They were probably on about District 6 right now. That meant that Cato was on his way to the Capitol right now, one way or another. He was either a Mentor for the first time or he was a Tribute for the second. I prayed that it was the former.

The fact that it was so late meant that already at least twelve people had been torn from their lives back into the nightmare that they had thought that they escaped so many years ago. Or not so many, for some of us. There were a number of younger Victors who would still be eligible. As I walked into the bathroom I briefly wondered if Finnick was going to be in the Games this year. I really hoped not. I wasn't sure if I would ever be able to kill him. He was my friend. He had helped me through everything. But I would have to. For Cato, I would have to kill them all.

Letting my clothes fall off of me, I crawled into my bathroom and looked at myself in the mirror. I looked just about normal. I had gained back the muscular look that I had had before the Games last year. They were stronger now. My muscles in my arms were stronger and I looked just a touch like a Career. But I was still too short. It proved the lack of nourishment from when I was a little kid. My eyes were hardened too. They weren't quite blank, the way that they used to be, but they weren't exactly full of life. I looked angry and hurt, but most of all I looked determined.

Because I was. Determined to save Cato's life. I stepped into the shower and sighed as the hot water poured over me. It felt wonderful but I knew that I couldn't get used to it. This was one of the last showers that I would ever take. This was one of the last times that I would be clean. I would be able to take a few in the Capitol but once we were in the arena, that was it. That would be the last outfit that I would ever wear. I thought that the knowledge that I would be dead in a few weeks would be unsettling but it wasn't. The thought actually calmed me.

Some part of me was relieved when I thought about how I would never again have to be afraid of President Snow or Seneca Crane. Never again would I have to be the perfect Victor. No longer would I be putting my friends and family in danger. No longer would I have to pretend to be happy. No longer would I have to wonder when I was going to be killed. I knew now. I knew that I was going to be the one to take my own life so that Cato could live. And the thought calmed me. It made me happy. For once, I was in control of my own life. I wasn't theirs anymore.

The body wash sprayed out of the shower on all sides and I nearly slipped as it coated the bottom of the shower. Damn it. I could have died. Of course, that would have been hysterical. Their brave Victor had died from slipping in the bathtub over lavender scented soap. Maybe I should have fallen. I would have liked to watch that news broadcast from up above. I would have liked to see the look on Cato's face. Or maybe not. He would probably bring me back just so that he could kill me again. The thought made me laugh so loudly that Katniss had come to check if I was okay.

The soap rinsed off of me and I took a deep breath. I knew that in a matter of minutes I would have to go downstairs and plaster on a smile. I would have to pretend that I was alright. I would have to pretend that I knew that I would be coming back. If it meant that they were happy, I would pretend forever. I had to be strong for them today. The water turned off and I shivered at the sudden loss of the warm water. But it made no difference. I was sure that the Gamemakers would make the arena cold as ice at night. It wouldn't be the first time that they would try and freeze the Tributes out.

It was a common tactic to get rid of the weaker ones. Or in this case, the older ones. Sighing at my thoughts, I stepped onto the drying pad and waited until my body was dry and my hair was fluffed. It fell in long, subtle blonde waves and I smiled. Cinna had always loved my hair. I was sure that he would like to play with it one last time. Just for old times' sake. I walked out of the bathroom, hoping that no one would be bursting into my room this morning and walked back into the bedroom.

Knowing that it was time to get changed, I dropped in front of the dresser at the side of the room and began to dig through the drawers for something that would work for a funeral. Most of the things in my dresser were dark and I thanked myself for it. They were all things that would be appropriate for me to wear to a Reaping that made no sense. We all knew who were going to be the Tributes from District 12. There was no point in having us pretend like there was anyone else that would be in it. But I knew that everyone would be dressed up and they would still all be acting afraid.

They would do it because they had to do it. Because that was their role to play. We all had a role. Mine was to die and theirs was to live in fear. Part of me wondered what Cato's would be once I was gone. Probably to move on with his life and never again mention my name. There was something called the Victors Hall in the Capitol and it was where every Victor had a plaque on the wall and a little section dedicated to them. I hadn't seen mine but I knew that it was a popular one. Although in about three weeks it would probably be gone.

Without me around in person, I knew that President Snow would be happy. But he wouldn't be content until every last memory of me was gone. Shaking my head at myself I leaned down into my drawer and began to pick through the clothing. It wasn't like I was normally picky about what I wore but nothing seemed to look good enough for me today. Maybe that was because I knew that I should look nice for my funeral. After about ten minutes of rifling through every drawer I finally settled on a pair of black jeans and a flowing dark green top. It wasn't the nicest look for the Reaping but that didn't matter to me.

As far as today was concerned, I just wanted to get out there and be done with it. I needed to get onto the train and I needed to know who the Tributes were for District 2. That was all that mattered right now. Once I was dressed and my hair was brushed down over my back, I checked myself in the mirror and nodded. I looked relatively nice but nothing like a Victor. Although maybe that was what they wanted. Maybe they wanted us to look like the scared little Tributes that we had once been. But it was too late for that. I would never be that girl that set foot into the arena a year ago again.

Sighing deeply, I closed my drawer and walked over to the doorway. For a moment I paced the room, running my hands over all of my things. This was the last time that I would ever see this room. The knowledge stung a little bit, but I knew that it was for the best. Right before I left my room I saw the portrait that Peeta had painted of Katniss and I that was hanging above the dresser. I gave a little smile. It had always made me feel better, even when I was having the worst of days. It hurt that I would never see it again. I hoped that Katniss would take it. She had always liked it.

"Thank you, Peeta. I'll see you soon," I mumble.

It was all that I could do to hope that he would hear me. Because I would be with him soon. Maybe we would enjoy the afterlife together. I pressed a gentle kiss to the portrait softly before shutting out the lights and closing the door. Shutting out that chapter of my life. As I walked over to the staircase I could hear Katniss and Prim talking in the kitchen. I figured that Ms. Everdeen was down there too but she was probably slaving away over a meal that she figured that I would love. My last ever meal at home. They were all probably trying to figure out how to make me feel better.

As I hit the bottom of the landing I could see that everyone was talking softly. They looked like they were trying to get everything ready. Gale was nowhere to be found. Everyone was trying to look friendly for each other but no one was smiling. It was very subdued this morning. Not that I had expected them to be smiling. Their best friend was about to go off to her death. Again. But this time they knew ahead of time and they were trying to prepare for it. Not that it was any easier. It was probably harder.

"Good morning, everyone," I called, walking into the kitchen.

The conversation immediately ceased and everyone tried to put on their best happy faces. But they were pathetic. They looked more like they needed to make a trip to the bathroom. At least they were trying. "Were you okay in there?" Katniss asked, referring to the bathroom incident.

"Oh, I was fine. Just had a funny thought," I said, waving her off.

"Good morning, dear," Ms. Everdeen said.

"Hi, Aspen," Prim said. Her eyes were rimmed with red. She hadn't slept.

"Morning, sweetie."

"You look nice," Prim said softly.

"Thank you. Just kinda pulled something out. I'll look nicer in the Capitol," I said, making Prim sniffle a little bit.

"You look like a clown when you're there," Katniss said.

"Good morning, Cat," I snapped.

"Morning," she grumbled.

"Come on, now. Let's all at least try to smile. No use in being upset over something that we can't change," I said.

There was another little sniffle that came from Prim. I wanted to walk over to her and tell her that it would all be okay, but she knew that it wouldn't. I knew that it wouldn't. We all knew what was coming. There was no use lying to her. She would know that I was lying to her. I thought about the notes upstairs in my bedroom and I turned to Katniss. She had to know that after everything, I wanted them to read the notes. They had to read them. After I died. Not before.

"Hey, Cat."

"What's up?" Katniss asked.

"Come here for a second," I told her.

"You okay?" she asked, walking over to me at the edge of the kitchen.

"Oh, peachy," I teased. She scowled at me. I leaned over to her and dropped my voice so that no one else would hear. "After I leave, go up to my room. There's a note that's sitting up on the table. Read it. Follow the directions on it."

"Sure thing," she said.

She backed away from me and nodded. It made me smile weakly at her. At least no matter what, they would know that there were letters in there that were my final goodbyes to my family. The things that I needed them to know in death. I thanked her silently. Katniss usually questioned me on everything that I did, since she always thought that I was doing something brainless, and for once it meant the world that she did something and made no more mention of it.

"Should I be worried that the note is going to lead me to something that's going to blow up in my face or burn off my eyebrows?" Katniss asked.

We both laughed loudly, and I grabbed her to pull her into a hug. "You'll have to find out for yourself," I said.

Katniss wasn't much for jokes, but she always had good ones on the rare occasions that she made them. "Wow," she muttered.

"What?"

"It's been a long time since I got a genuine laugh like that out of you."

"It's been a long time since I've laughed like that."

"Happy to help," Katniss teased.

We both smiled at each other. I knew that her previous comment was a hit at me for the one time that we had tried to make a cake for Gale's birthday. We set it on fire and when we walked up to it to put it out the damn thing exploded. Katniss swore to me that the explosion had burned off her eyebrows but I always felt that they looked exactly the same. I was about to argue with her and tell her that the cake hadn't done anything to her when Prim stepped forward and gave me a weak grin, one which I returned.

"Morning, Aspen," Prim said.

"Primrose," I teased, ruffling her hair.

"I made you some tea. Do you want any?"

"Tea would be lovely right about now," I said.

"Katniss?" Prim asked.

"A cup, please."

"You make much better tea than I do," I told Prim.

"We all knew that," Katniss said, as I whopped her on the arm.

It was enough to get a smile out of Prim. "I thought that you might like it. It's your favorite. All lemon and naturally calming," Prim said, like she was reciting it out of a textbook.

"Perfect," I said happily.

Prim had recently decided that she wanted to be a healer just like her mother and she had taken to it like a natural. She ended up taking to everything that she tried like a natural. She actually would have made a much better Victor than me. While I sucked at finding her plants that would work for different pastes, she knew them all by heart. I had gotten better with Prim around, as she had helped me prepare for the Quarter Quell, but I still knew only the basics. Maybe it would help me during these Games. Or maybe I could teach what I knew to Cato and hope that it would help him.

"I don't think that any amount of tea will calm me down but I appreciate the thought, Prim. I'll just have a mug," I said.

"No problem," she said, pouring me a small cup. "

How did everyone sleep last night?" I asked, hoping to break the tense air that surrounded us.

Faces turned up to me. These people were my family. They knew that I was only trying to make them feel better. "Aspen, I think the question is how did you sleep?" Katniss asked.

"I'm alright," I said, shrugging my shoulders.

In actuality I had slept horribly. It was one of the worst night's sleep that I had had in a long time. It was just because I was so nervous about what was going to happen today. Because I knew what was going to happen. I knew what would likely come to life. I had been tossing and turning all night and I kept having nightmares that Cato was the one who was Reaped for District 2. It wasn't even just the nightmares. It was the fact that the nightmare was so likely going to become a reality.

"Were you?" Katniss asked.

"I'm fine."

"We can all catch up on our sleep, but you have some long nights and days ahead of you."

"In case you forgot, I have done this before," I said.

"I did not forget," Katniss snapped.

"I know," I mumbled.

"What time did you get to sleep?" Katniss asked.

 _Never._ I rolled my eyes at her. She might not know it yet, but she would make a good mother. She already acted like one to Prim and me. She was even more motherly than her own mother was at times. But that wasn't hard to beat. Most of the time Ms. Everdeen say in silence and merely watched her family. Not that I blamed her. She had been through utter hell. I turned to Katniss with a little smile and I hoped that it at least looked a little real. I didn't need her feeling any worse about today.

"Please, Katniss, you aren't my mother," I told her.

The younger girl scoffed. "I feel like it sometimes," she said.

Part of me wanted to laugh at her. She always wanted me to be safe but I was doing little things that only put me in more danger. I was going to give her a heart attack one of these days. "Sleep doesn't matter to me. I might not last that much longer," I finally told Katniss.

"Don't say that," she barked.

I heard Prim suck in a little breath behind me. Tears were building in her eyes and a little flash of guilt shot through me. "Sorry," I mumbled, before turning back to Katniss. "But that means that I don't have to be overly worried about how much sleep that I'm getting. I was used to not sleeping much in the last Games."

"We want you to be well rested before the Games," Ms. Everdeen said.

"I appreciate that. But I want to make sure that you're all getting as much sleep as possible. You are the ones that will need it," I said.

Pain shot through her eyes. She thought that this whole thing was because she hadn't fought hard enough to save Prim. It wasn't her fault. It would never be her fault. Ms. Everdeen came up behind me. I jumped as she put her hand on my shoulder. She was wearing a sweet smile on her face but I saw the dead look in her eyes. I couldn't blame her. She had lost her two best friends to these Games and she was about to lose their daughter, whom she had sworn to protect. She had also lost her husband to a mining accidents and her real daughters had almost completely pulled away from her. It was all my fault.

Well, not the mining accident. "That's very sweet of you to think, darling, but right now it's you that need all the sleep that you can get," Ms. Everdeen said.

"I'm sleeping enough. I promise."

"Make sure that when everything is happening that you drink lots of water, get a good night's rest, and please be as friendly as possible," Ms. Everdeen instructed.

"Yes, mother," I said, laughing. There was the motherly figure that I loved.

It made everyone at the table smile. I smiled at Ms. Everdeen and grabbed her hand. I hoped that she knew how much she meant to me. She really was the closest thing to a mother that I had. She may have died a little bit when Mr. Everdeen had died but that didn't matter. Once I had gone into the Games almost all of me had died. When Peeta, Rue, and Thresh had died I had felt like a little piece of me had been ripped out. I knew what it felt like. Every one of us that went into the Games knew exactly what she felt.

"Friendly? Aspen is anything but," Katniss said.

"You're one to talk," I snapped.

"Exactly why it's a good thing that I didn't go," she said.

It made me smile as I turned back to Ms. Everdeen. "Yes on the first two. Maybe on the third," I joked.

"Aspen," Ms. Everdeen warned with a little glare.

"Come on, Mom. When have you ever known me to be overly friendly?" I asked her.

She smiled, knowing that I was telling her the truth. "Never," Katniss muttered.

"Thanks," I said blandly.

"You're plenty friendly to us," Prim said.

"Because you're family. I'm not friendly to them. Especially when it comes to something like this," I muttered, half-hoping that she hadn't heard me.

She placed her hands on my shoulders and brought my head up so that I was looking at her. I noticed that her hair had grayed slightly and there were more wrinkles on her face. How had that happened? When had that happened? I couldn't remember her ever looking like that. Had she really gotten that old since the last time that I had really looked at her? Was it me that had turned her into this? I wasn't just killing myself. I was killing them too.

"Try, for us, please," Ms. Everdeen said.

"Of course," I muttered.

As much as I didn't want to play to the people in the Capitol, as I had already done once, I knew that it was the right thing to do. She was right. I would have to at least play friendly. It wouldn't take much. The people already loved me. Since Cato's life would likely depend on me, I knew that I would have to play up the romance angle again. Maybe if I was lucky he hadn't been Reaped and I would be able to play it as nasty as I liked. I could tell President Snow what I really thought about him.

"Sit down and eat breakfast. Gale will be here any moment now and we would like to have one last breakfast together," Ms. Everdeen said.

"Gale's coming?" I asked.

"Yes. He'll be here soon," Ms. Everdeen said.

"I went to get him earlier. He had a few things to do before coming over here," Katniss explained.

"Okay," I muttered.

"As for the meal. At least for a few weeks. We can have a celebration breakfast in a few weeks when we see you again," Ms. Everdeen said.

"Of course," I said, resisting the urge to shake my head.

Part of me wanted to tell her that this was the last breakfast that I would ever be having with her but I didn't think that I had the heart. I knew that I didn't have the heart. Not with Prim here. So instead I walked into the dining room and took a seat at the table. Eggs and bacon were spread out in front of me and I grinned lightly. It was my favorite type of breakfast. Fattening and greasy. There was a soft knock on the door and I sucked in a breath when I realized that it was Gale. I couldn't deal with him right now. Not before I was about to leave for the final time.

"Oh, he's here! Aspen, can you go let him in?" Ms. Everdeen called.

"I'd love to," I said, rolling my eyes.

That figured that it would be me that she would ask to let Gale in. Not because I wanted to. I would have loved to avoid him. I mean, come on. Why couldn't Katniss do it? She was closer to the door and she wasn't currently in an awkward predicament with Gale. But, of course, Ms. Everdeen wanted me to get one last private moment with Gale before the Reaping. I stood from the table and headed to the door. As I passed the kitchen Prim popped her head out and I turned to look at her as I walked.

"Hey, Aspen!"

"Hey, Prim!" I parroted.

"While you're out at the front can you make sure that Buttercup is coming back inside?" Prim asked.

I dropped my head back and groaned. I hated that damn cat. Both Katniss and I couldn't stand the damn cat. It was always laying all over my stuff and hissing at me for no damn reason. "Can't we just leave him out there?" I asked.

"I second that!" Katniss called from the dining room.

"Come on! I know that you don't like him, but for me?" Prim asked, batting her eyelashes.

"Only because you're cute," I told her through a groan.

"Thank you!" Prim called.

"Whatever," I grumbled.

As I headed to the door I heard Prim laughing behind me and I rolled my eyes. Hopefully the cat had fallen into the ditch. I hated it so much. As I got to the door I slipped on my black flats before swinging the door open and sucking in a breath when I saw Gale fully. He was in a nice black button down shirt and black pants with scuffed black dress shoes. He looked the same as he had during his father's funeral. It made sense. He was about to be mourning me. I smiled at him weakly and he brought me into a hug.

"Hey, Tiger," Gale mumbled.

"Hi, Gale," I whispered.

He knew how to make me feel better, even if it was just with a stupid little childhood nickname. He let go of me and pulled me outside, shutting the door behind me. "What are you doing?" I asked.

"I want to talk. Away from your family for a minute," Gale said.

"Okay."

"There's a lot that I want to tell you right now but I'm not really sure where to start," Gale said.

"I understand," I said, sucking in a breath. I wasn't ready for this talk again.

"I guess that I just want you to know that I want you to be with Cato," Gale said, before I could ask him to stop.

My jaw nearly dropped to the floor. I understood all of the words. They made perfect sense. But right now they couldn't string together to form a coherent thought in my mind. Nothing made sense. Had he really just told me that he wanted me to be with Cato? He hated the District 2 boy more than anything else. I knew that. Everyone knew that. He had told me multiple times that he hated Cato. He had even made little lists about all of the reasons that I shouldn't love Cato. Gale wanted me to love him, not Cato. What was he doing?

"Come again?" I asked stupidly.

Gale shook his head lightly and I sucked in a breath. If Gale wanted me to be with Cato than I knew that something had to be wrong. Something was happening and this was his way of trying to send me a coded message. But I couldn't understand what he was really trying to tell me. There was nothing on this planet that would ever make him like my fellow Victor. Even if Cato wasn't Cato, Gale had always hated all Victors. I was only an exception because he knew who the real me was.

"Aspen, if that's what you want, then I have no right to stop you," Gale said.

"Oh," I said blankly.

Why was it now that he realized that I deserved to be with the man that I loved? Probably because he knew that I was about to leave to my death. He wanted me to leave here happy with him and not resenting him for even the smallest reason. "I love you," Gale said.

"I know. I love you too," I whispered.

"I know that part of you will always love me," Gale continued.

"Of course."

There was no reason telling him that I didn't love him that was a lie. Some part of me would always love Gale. "But he's the one that you want to be with and, with all of this happening, then I want you to be happy for the last few days that you have with him," Gale explained.

No part of me could help the large smile that fell over my face. Part of me wanted to kiss him because I was so happy with him. But I knew that that would have been the wrong thing to do. That would have just been putting us right back to square one. So instead I grabbed him into a tight hug and laughed in his ear lightly. After an entire year of having this fight, it was finally over and I had my Gale back.

"Thank you, Gale."

"You're welcome, Tiger."

"You know that I love you and I always will," I said.

Gale's arms tightened around me. I knew that he didn't want to let go of me but he knew that he had to. He knew that it was almost time for me to go. I didn't have much longer left here. I let go of him and I realized that his eyes were slightly bloodshot. He must have been up all night thinking about this. About today. I hadn't even thought about how the revelation that I would be going into the Games would affect everyone else. I knew that it would hurt them but I hadn't thought that it would keep them up all night thinking about how to get past me.

"But I do want you to know what it means to me that you accept me being with Cato. It means the world to me," I said.

"I know," Gale said.

We stared at each other for a moment and I gave him a soft smile, which he returned. He was holding my hand gently in his and I grinned, looking down and watching him play with my nails. I giggled slightly and glanced back up to his face. Right behind him I saw approaching Peacekeepers and my eyes widened. What the hell were they doing here? They shouldn't have been here for another twenty minutes or so. I still had time to eat breakfast. I had made sure of that. Gale noticed my discomfort and he turned, his stance immediately stiffening when he realized what was behind him.

"Get behind me," Gale growled, pushing me back.

"It's okay, Gale. They're here to get me."

"Not this early."

The main Peacekeeper was surrounded by a number of his buddies and I smirked from behind Gale. There looked like there were at least eight of them. Maybe more. They were moving too much to tell. At least they thought that I was so dangerous that they needed eight of them to take on one little girl. The thought made me feel just a little bit better. Gale was standing directly in front of me and my heart swelled. He was still willing to fight to the death to protect me.

"Mr. Hawthorne, I suggest that you move out of our way," the Peacekeeper warned.

"It's okay, Gale."

"Our intentions are purely business. No mistreatment to either of you," the Peacekeeper called. Gale growled low in his throat.

To prevent any more injury to Gale from Peacekeepers, I pushed past my best friend and stepped in front of the Peacekeeper. "It's okay, Gale. I'll see you for the goodbyes," I said.

Even from behind his mask I could tell that he was giving me a wicked smirk. "Miss Antaeus, pleasure to see you this morning," he said.

"You as well," I said blandly.

Maybe it was a pleasure for one of us. "I hate to interrupt your breakfast but we need you at the Reaping now," the Peacekeeper said.

My mouth dropped. I didn't have to be there yet. It was too early. "Not for another twenty minutes," I said.

Damn it, I could get there by myself. I wasn't going to run. That wasn't in me anymore. "Change of plans," the Peacekeeper said.

"Okay."

"We will meet up with Mr. Abernathy on the way to the Town Square. Are you ready?" the Peacekeeper asked.

I couldn't imagine that this was going over well with Haymitch very well right about now. I tried to glance to the older man's house but the Peacekeepers were blocking my sight of anything past my yard. "Would you let me run back upstairs to get ready if I wasn't?" I snapped. Judging by the silence I received I figured that the answer was no. "Well, lucky for you, I am ready."

The Peacekeeper nodded at me, moving to the side so that I could walk forward. "Let's get moving," he called.

Gale grabbed onto my hand to stop me. "Aspen," Gale said.

"Let go, Gale," I said, shaking my head. He had to let go of me. I had to do this thing with a little bit of dignity left in me. I had to show them that they could do whatever they wanted to me, they weren't going to break me. The only thing that mattered was that Cato lived. "I'll see you soon."

"See you soon," he muttered, releasing my arm.

"Can we get a move on? I'd like to end this day as soon as possible. I'm sure that Haymitch feels the same way," I said.

The Peacekeeper nodded at me. The main Peacekeeper came to stand at my right while three more went to my left, another two joined at my right, one went in front of me, and the other went behind me. It left enough room for Haymitch. Damn. They really were making sure that we were going to make it to the Reaping. I didn't really understand why. Everyone knew what we looked like. Even if we ran off every single person in Panem knew what we looked like. We would be caught within the day. And it would only make us look cowardly for running. All of this was just added show.

"Get the hell off of me!" a scream came from my left.

"Oh, Haymitch," I muttered.

Haymitch was being dragged out of his house and I gave a little smirk. He was fighting the Peacekeepers and I watched as he threw them off. He brushed his hair back and shook his head at the Peacekeeper that looked like he was about to advance on Haymitch again. "I'm coming, damn it. Would hate to keep President Snow waiting, right?" Haymitch hissed.

He collected himself before letting the Peacekeepers lead him out of the house. They met up with us quickly and I watched as their ranking changed. The Peacekeeper that had been at my right went to stand behind me with two other Peacekeepers, and they pushed Haymitch and I closer together. Not that I minded. It made me feel better that Haymitch was so close to me. It made me feel like I wasn't so alone in this thing. Haymitch was grumbling loudly as he fell into step with me and I rolled my eyes, struggling to keep up with him.

Between him and the ten or so Peacekeepers that were now surrounding us, I was definitely the shortest one. That meant that I nearly had to run to keep up. "Had a little too much to drink this morning?" I asked Haymitch, when I realized that he was stumbling slightly.

We didn't need another repeat of last year when he had done a swan-dive off of the Reaping stage. It didn't look like Haymitch had much of a grasp on his balance but I was ready to catch him if he fell. We walked for a moment in silence and I shook my head as I saw everyone file into the Reaping. They were all watching us but I knew that they were trying hard not to stare. It didn't matter though. We were already on display for the world. They might as well just stare at us.

"Why is there even a Reaping?" I hissed at Haymitch lowly.

"Because there always is," Haymitch said.

"Who cares? We all know that District 12 only has two Victors. You and me. There's no point in doing the Reaping."

"Well they're doing it everywhere else."

"So what? We all know who's going in. We might as well just head straight to the Capitol," I grumbled as we walked, stumbling when one of the Peacekeepers stepped on my foot.

I turned back to glare at him but the man merely pushed me forwards. I debated on turning back to yell at him but Haymitch grabbed my arm and pulled me so that my attention was back on him. "Do you want a chance to say a final goodbye to your friends?" Haymitch asked.

"Yes," I mumbled. Of course I wanted to say goodbye to them. I knew that he was just asking me that so he could me to stop complaining.

"Then shut up. They're doing it for the show. You know that," Haymitch said.

"I know," I mumbled. I knew all about making it a part of the show.

"They can't just start dragging Victors out of their Districts," Haymitch said.

"That's essentially what they just did to both of us," I said.

"The cameras won't have caught that," Haymitch explained. "It all has to be a show. Every moment of these things is part of the show."

"You're right."

The walk through the District was tense. You could hear a pin drop. We walked up towards the stairs that would lead us into the Town Square and I sighed as the crowd parted for us at the sight of the armed guards. I forced myself to steel my faces as we were led through the crowd. They parted for us even more as we headed up towards the Reaping stage. Kids were filling in the rows and parents were all standing across the back of the Square. The Peacekeepers forced us to stand at the back of the crowd as they all filed into their spots.

My eyes scanned the crowd but I couldn't see Katniss, Prim, Gale, or Ms. Everdeen. Of course, that made sense. They should have been just getting ready to leave now. They would be here soon. I stared up at the stage and I noticed that there was one more chair than there normally was. One more chair. For me. We waited until the District was completely present before being pushed forward again. We walked past the back row, in front of the parents, before heading straight up the middle of the aisle. I noticed that there was no arrangement this year. Everyone was standing together in neat rows.

Because there was no need to have order. They already knew who would be coming forward, and they knew that they would already be on the stage. As we walked up I risked a quick glance over to my family. Katniss and Gale were standing together behind Ms. Everdeen, who was holding onto Prim. They were all giving me reassuring stares as I walked forward and up onto the stage. The Peacekeeper forced me down into the plastic seat and I grunted when I hit the hard material. I wanted to yell at him and make a scene but I knew that it would make more sense for me to be silent.

Nothing could fall back on Cato. Nothing. I couldn't look worse than I already did. Instead I sat silently in the chair and watched as Haymitch sat next to me. On his other side was Effie and I gave the woman a small smile, to which she responded back with a bright smile. She looked happy, but not quite. Most of her just looked broken. She looked like she was about to fall over from exhaustion. She was plastering on a happy face. I wondered if it was because of this. I was her friend. We cared about each other. She didn't want to see me back here. She knew that much.

On her other side was the Mayor and next to him was Madge. She wasn't even looking at me this time. I didn't blame her. She probably thought that part of this was her fault. I guessed that in some ways it was. She was the one who had made me the Mockingjay in the place. But I didn't mind. In the middle of the stage were the same two huge glass bowls. I rolled my eyes. Inside of the Reaping balls there was one piece of paper in each. Aspen Antaeus in the girls', and Haymitch Abernathy in the boys'.

The crowd continued to slowly merge into the Square and I sucked in a breath. No one was betting this year. There was no point. Everyone knew who the Tributes would be. For the first time I knew how it felt to sit up on this stage while the people came in around you. It was horrible. I felt like a little creature on display. This was how Haymitch had felt for twenty-five years. I had never thought about how miserable he felt up here. But it sucked pretty damn bad. I noticed that everyone looked saddened, not happy like I had originally thought that they would be.

"Haymitch?" I called to the older man.

"What?" he asked.

We both leaned into each other to keep our voices down. It was deathly silent in the Square. Maybe because of all of the armed Peacekeepers that were standing around the crowd. They looked nervous, but at least they were all safe. How lucky that must feel. "I just wanted to say that I'm sorry," I said softly.

He cocked his head at me and I motioned to the stage around us. "What's that?" Haymitch asked.

"About all of this. It isn't fair of me to be asking you to do what you are doing. Thank you," I said.

Haymitch nodded slowly, probably not fond of the little emotional moment. Just as I expected, Haymitch pulled away from me and shook his head. "Don't thank me yet, sweetheart, I haven't done anything at the moment," Haymitch said.

"You've done plenty over the last year," I said.

But he was right. We still weren't even sure if Cato was the one going into the Games. All I knew was that there was a damn good chance that he was. My only hope was that his name had been called and Brutus had come forward to volunteer. I knew that right now Cato was on his way to the Capitol and he was probably watching me right now. The question was whether he was a Mentor or a Tribute. It was a question that had gnawed at me all night.

"We don't even know yet if Cato is going to be the male from District 2 that goes in. He might be a Mentor still. And then he can help you," Haymitch said.

"That would be the ideal situation," I said softly.

"Quiet. Come on. They're almost ready," Haymitch said.

Sickened from everything, I nodded and turned to the front of the stage. The last of the people to come into the Square were walking into their lines now and I gulped. I noticed Gale standing out above the rest of the crowd in the front. He had always been one of the tallest people in the District. He was nodding at me as if to tell me that I would be alright. I nodded back to him and saw Ms. Everdeen standing next to him. She looked like she was holding back tears. The rest of Gale's family were at his side and I gave a little wave to Posy. I had always loved Gale's little siblings. They were so damn cute.

Risking it, I glanced over and saw that Prim was on the edge of the roped off section. She was standing just in front of Gale. I gave her a reassuring smile, which must have looked more like a frown. Prim had to know that I was okay with this. I was ready for what was to come. Katniss was also towards the front of the Square and standing right next to Gale. We merely stared at each other. We didn't move a muscle but we were speaking volumes to each other. My dull gaze spoke volumes. We loved each other, she would look out for Gale and his family, she would read the letters, and she would never forget me.

My stony stare was not because I didn't love her. It was because I loved her too much. I heard Effie clear her throat and I glanced up to the woman, watching her toddle towards the microphone. She gave everyone a bright smile and I nearly laughed. It was so like Effie. She turned to look at the entire audience and I noticed that Gale was shooting her a sharp glare. _Come on, Gale. This isn't her fault_. I guessed that in the end, it wasn't even President Snow's fault. This was my fault. I brought this on myself when I suggested that Cato and I kill ourselves. My gaze turned to the ground.

Haymitch and I stood at the back of the stage as the Reaping began. We were just behind where the Reaping balls were. The only people that remained seated were Madge and her father. We were in a small roped-off areas. Like animals being herded. I noticed that the armed Peacekeepers turned towards the audience. Like they were warning them to make a move. Which, I realized, was exactly what they were doing.

"Welcome. Welcome," Effie chirped. My attention was pulled back to her. Not that it mattered. We were just going to watch the same video as we always did. "As we celebrate the seventy-fifth anniversary and third Quarter Quell of the Hunger Games. As always... Ladies first."

My eyes widened. Where did the stupid video about the war go? We were just going to jump into the Reaping? Damn. I guessed that Snow really did want me gone. Unlike last year my heart wasn't pounding and I wasn't chanting a mantra about who it couldn't be. I was just waiting to hear my name so that I could move and make my way to the front of the stage. My gaze briefly flickered up to Prim before I dropped my head back towards the ground. I noticed Effie look guiltily at me but I didn't look back at her.

"The female Tribute from District 12..." Effie trailed off. She brought her hand into the bowl and grabbed the sole piece of paper. _Come on, Effie. Just say it. We all know who it is_. She walked to the front of the stage and opened the piece of paper. "Aspen Antaeus."

The moment that she said my name the tear slipped out of my eyes. They would understand in the Capitol. They would know that I feared for Cato. But it wasn't it. For just this moment, I was allowed to be weak. Effie's voice had cracked softly on my name. I walked to the front of the stage slowly. The second that I looked at Effie, I realized just how close to tears she was. She didn't want this. As I walked over to her, Effie patted me reassuringly on the back. Effie then cleared her throat awkwardly and marched over to the bowl with Haymitch's name.

"Wonderful. And now for the men. The male Tribute from District 12..." she said, fishing through the bowl. "Haymitch Abernathy." Haymitch stepped forward and I made room for him besides me. "Very well! The Tributes from District 12. Aspen Antaeus and Haymitch Abernathy." Effie placed her hands on our shoulders reassuringly. "Well all that remains is..."

She immediately trailed off as something that I should have seen coming happened. To my surprise, Ms. Everdeen was the first to give the three-fingered salute that I had gotten last year. Prim and Katniss almost immediately followed. I noticed that Katniss had silent tears running down her face. Gale was the next to follow, quickly followed by the rest of the District. Despite the Peacekeeper presence. My gaze slowly turned upwards. Some were even kissing their fingers. A moment later, for the first time, Haymitch and I joined them. I barely had time to get my arm into the air before it was grabbed by Thread.

"Oh, no," Effie muttered from behind me. "B-b-but!"

It was too late. Nothing that she said was stopping them. Thread had a grip on my arm so tight that it hurt like hell, but that wasn't my focus. I didn't care. All that mattered was the fact that they were pulling me away from my family. This wasn't right. I still had to say goodbye to them. It was the rule. I got three minutes to say goodbye to them. They hadn't even had me shake hands with Haymitch. What were they doing? We hadn't done anything yet. We weren't ready to go. My eyes were shooting all over the Square as I looked for my family.

It appeared that panic was beginning to set in as people began to move every which way, making it even harder to find them. Gale was fighting to get out of Ms. Everdeen's grip. Smart woman. _Keep a tight hold on him_. He was looking at me desperately and it took all of my strength not to cry out for him. I needed help up here. They couldn't do this, but there was almost nothing that I could do. Katniss was the next one I saw. She was looking at me desperately, clearly trying to get up to me, but the girls walking around her were all pushing her out of the Square.

"Aspen!" a loud shriek came.

At first I thought that it was Katniss, but the voice was too high and the older girl hadn't said anything. Instead her attention was now directed away from me and she was looking straight back. I followed her line of sight and saw Prim, who was fighting to get up to me. From her other side I could see Gale running to grab her and I prayed that he caught her before the Peacekeepers did. Thread was still standing behind me and was starting to tug me back to the Justice Building.

"Prim!" I yelled.

"Aspen!"

"I didn't get to say goodbye," I told Thread pathetically.

Thread completely ignored me, probably hoping that I would just go with him and let it go. "Aspen!" Prim called again.

My attention was directed back to the audience. They were all looking at me like they felt bad for me but I knew that in actuality they couldn't have cared less. They were just happy that it wasn't them. I started to fight back against Thread, desperate to get to her. Thread tightened his grip on my arm and I cringed. Damn it, that hurt. Prim was crying loudly and I glanced back to see that Gale was holding her tightly, not letting her move. I nodded my thanks to him and he nodded back to me, letting me know that he was not going to let her get to me. No matter what. I couldn't risk them hurting her because of me.

"New plan. Straight to the train," Thread told me.

"No. I have to say goodbye!"

Another Peacekeeper came up to my other side and grabbed my spare arm. The two of them began to tug on my arms and I was pulled off of balance. I was fighting hard to stay on my feet but it wasn't working. They were stronger than me and they had shoes with traction. The soles had completely worn off of my old ones and I rolled my eyes at myself. I should have worn the new ones. They were dragging me up the stairs and into the Justice Building.

"No, I didn't say goodbye!" I hissed, hoping that they would drop me. But their grips only tightened as they yanked me back to the doors of the Justice Building. "Damn it, let go of me, I get three minutes!" I began to thrash around. I was determined to say goodbye to my family. I hadn't even gotten that right this morning. "Those are the rules! I get three minutes to say goodbye to my loved ones!"

The entire time I was forgetting that all of Panem was watching. "Aspen!" Prim yelled again.

Fear and desperation building in me, I looked out to her. She was standing with the rest of my family. The family I wouldn't get to say goodbye to. She was currently crying heavily and being held down by Gale and Katniss. They were trying to rip her from the grasp of a Peacekeeper. Ms. Everdeen was standing in front of Prim and trying to block her view of me. Katniss was pulling Prim's head down into her chest but it wasn't working. The younger girl was determined to see me one last time. I was shocked when Prim actually managed to burst free from her family and come sprinting towards the stage.

Desperation clawing at my throat, I was about to call out to her one last time when the Peacekeepers yanked me roughly, throwing me to the ground of the Justice Building. I landed roughly on the stone floor and I coughed a few times as they grabbed me and forced me to round the corner, completely stunned. I was sure that the fall should have hurt but I didn't feel anything. All I felt was empty. Alone. Betrayed. Cheated. Everyone else got their three minutes to say goodbye. Didn't they? Why the hell hadn't I gotten mine?

"Goodbye!" I yelled desperately.

But that was the last thing that I could say. Haymitch came to stand beside me. We were standing together but my focus was on the doors that would bring me back to the Square. Back to my family. I couldn't believe that the last time that I was seeing them would be like that. Ms. Everdeen staring at me blankly like she had somehow failed me. Gale looking at me like he was ready to tear into every soul here if it meant saving me from the Peacekeepers. Katniss looking at me like she was at fault for everything. Like it should have been her up there.

And Prim... Prim was looking at me like it would be the last time that she would ever see me. That was what hurt the most. One of the Peacekeepers came up and pushed me away from the door roughly, probably afraid that I would run out of it. He was pushing me back towards the train station and I rolled my eyes. This meant that there was no waiting. We were heading right for the train.

"Listen up, things are different this year. You're lucky that your family is even still alive after everything that you pulled in the Capitol last year," he hissed. _The only reason that I pulled everything that I did last year is because these Games are horse shit_. They might have known that if they ever really actually paid attention. "You should be glad that they don't have to say goodbye to you. It would only be a painful reminder that you really aren't going to be coming back to them." I thought about turning back to punch him. But with his stupid Peacekeeper gear, it would probably hurt me more than it would hurt him. "Get moving!"

It was when I stood where I was and he knew that I wouldn't be moving. I rolled my eyes at him again and raised my hand to wipe my tears away. I hadn't realized how much I'd been crying. Slowly I started to walk and made room when Haymitch came to stand next to me. Effie was being loaded into an armored car. She would likely be driven to the train while we would be walking. My heart was thumping in my chest, anger, disbelief, and despair rising in my.

Haymitch fell into step with me and the Peacekeepers that had been flanking me had stood back slightly, letting us take the lead to the train. It wasn't like we didn't know the way. Haymitch looked extremely angry, probably over the way that I had reacted during the Reaping. It didn't matter. I had no reason to look good for myself. As we walked I once more got the itching to know who it was that was the male from District 2. There had to be some way that I could figure it out now. Maybe the Peacekeepers knew. But they would never tell me even if they did know.

"Is there any way to know right now who the other Tributes are?" I asked Haymitch softly.

"What are you talking about?" Haymitch asked, turning to me.

"Everyone else has already gone through their Reapings so we could see them, right?" I clarified.

Haymitch shook his head at me. He had to be kidding. I needed to know who it was that was going to be in these Games. Not knowing was eating me alive. I needed to know that at least one thing had gone right for me today. "Sorry, sweetheart. I won't be able to tell who was Reaped until we get onto the train," Haymitch said.

"Not before?" I asked.

I knew that we were heading there now but it made no difference. It still felt like that was forever away. Damn it. Why couldn't they just tell everyone who it was? I only needed one name. "Not now. That will be the only time that I can get near a television to see the other Reapings. Try not to think about it for now," Haymitch suggested.

"I can't."

"Try."

As we approached the train station I raised an eyebrow. It was deserted. Last year we couldn't get within a mile of the train station, because there were so many cameras. We even had to take a car because there was no way to get through the roads. This year was so strange. The only people at the train station were Peacekeepers. I couldn't even see Effie or any other Capitol people milling around. It was almost impossible to believe. Games that meant so much to their entertainment were now being treated just the way that they were. A march to death. Part of it was almost calming. The silence was better than the flash of cameras. I wondered if Haymitch felt the same way.

"It's so much different than it was last year," I said.

The older man turned to me. "Yes. It is," Haymitch said.

"It seemed like last year it was this grand celebration and everyone was so excited to see the Tributes. We were treated like celebrities. Now we're being treated like prisoners," I hissed the last part, mostly because it was the truth.

For a moment he looked around before looking back to me and giving a little nod. We were usually at least treated like the most important things on earth. Now it was like we were the scum of the earth. Was it all because President Snow wanted me dead that badly? "It's like I said before. This is all because of you," Haymitch said.

"Of course it is," I said. At least I'd gotten my answer.

"Everything that you did in the arena last year. These Games aren't a celebration. Not like they usually are. This year it's an all-out battle and President Snow is going to do anything in his power to make sure that you don't win," Haymitch said.

"I saw that one coming," I said.

He wouldn't let me out of that arena. Not before he died, would he let me live. "He'll probably try hard to kill Cato and me too," Haymitch said.

Guilt washed over me again. It was becoming a frequent theme. I steeled my nerves and shook my head. There was no way that I could start feeling guilt now. I had to be cold about everything. Haymitch had to know that I was still positive that our plan would work, and as long as he was willing, we would both be able to make it work. We knew how to do this. Haymitch had been in a Quarter Quell before. We had a little bit of an advantage. He had to know that much, at least.

"Then you know what that means. It just means that we have to try harder. The both of us," I said.

"I know. I made you a promise," Haymitch said.

"President Snow will get to see me die, but only when I am sure that Cato will be the one to make it out of that arena," I said, more determined than ever to make sure that Cato would live on for me.

Haymitch shook his head and I glanced up. He knew that I would die so why was he getting upset at me for realizing the truth? In my first Games he used to like to tell me that I was going to die all the time. It was one of his favorite things to say. Sometimes he still liked to say it. But those were different. We were closer now. Haymitch was part of my family now. He had made me a promise. Those had only been Games. This was war.

"Be careful, sweetheart. I think that you forget that President Snow isn't the only one that's going to want you dead," Haymitch told me.

"Yeah, yeah. Everyone wants me dead. So I've heard," I muttered.

"Not just that. See, there are twenty-one other people that are going into that arena. And all twenty-one of them are going to want you dead because, to them, this was your fault,'" he said.

I rolled my eyes. They could think whatever they wanted to think, but I wasn't going to let them do anything to me. "Doesn't matter," I said.

"It should. This time it isn't little Tributes that liked to play swords. These are real trained killers," Haymitch said.

Suddenly a little flash of anger shot through me and I shook my head. They weren't the only ones that had killed someone. I had killed people too while I was in that arena. More than some of them had. And I had beaten a number of mutts, something that a number of Victors couldn't say. They weren't the only ones that knew how to win a fight. I had won plenty of fights and I had been training even more since the announcement of the Quarter Quell.

"There's one thing that I think that you're forgetting. So am I," I hissed.

It was the last thing that I said before storming past him and heading up onto the platform. Two of the Peacekeepers that had been walking with us walked over to each side of the doors and I rolled my eyes. If we hadn't run yet, I was pretty sure that we wouldn't run at all. Of course, they had to be thorough. President Snow would hate to lose one of his prized Victors. The Peacekeeper that had thrown me into the Justice Building looked to me while I walked into the train and he nodded at me. I slowed down, hoping that it would annoy him just enough to ruin his day.

"Enjoy the ride," the Peacekeeper told me.

"Thank you. I will," I said, knowing that he would have rather bathed in hot oil than be nice to me.

"It will be the last one that you ever get to enjoy," the Peacekeeper hissed at me.

I rolled my eyes. "Yes, it will be. That matter doesn't bother me," I said.

If I surprised him, he didn't show it. "Trains have been upgraded at spots. Try not to break anything," the man told me as I walked in. I debated on saying something to him but Haymitch tugged me into the train.

I watched as the doors slid closed behind us and I sighed. This was it. I was heading to the Capitol for the last time. After this, I would never see my home again. At least I got to spend a few months more with my family. At least they were safe. I knew that they were safe. That was all that mattered. As the train began to move I bade one last silent goodbye to my family and turned back to where Haymitch was standing, looking like he was barely there. This had to be horrible for him. For all of these years he had been on this train as a Mentor and now he was here as a Tribute once more. After twenty-five years.

"Isn't he a real charmer?" I asked Haymitch. He scoffed at me, with a tiny smirk playing at the edge of his lips.

We gave each other sad grins before I turned back to the window. I remained at the window for a long time after the woods had swallowed up the last glimpse of my home. The last time that I would ever get a chance to look at it. This time I didn't have even the slightest hope of return. Before my first Games, I promised Prim that I would do everything that I could to win, and now I had sworn to myself that I would do all that I could to keep Cato alive. I would never reverse this journey again.

The worst part was that I had actually figured out what I wanted my last words to my loved ones to be. To tell Ms. Everdeen how eternally grateful I was and how sorry I was for being a pain in the ass at times. To tell Katniss that she would always be my sister. To tell Prim that she was my entire world and the one that kept me fighting. To tell Gale how much I wished that things were different. How best to close and lock all of the doors and leave them sad but safely behind. And now the Capitol had stolen that as well.

"You can write letters, Aspen. It will be better, anyway. Give them a piece of you to hold on to. Effie will deliver them for you if... they need to be delivered," Haymitch said from behind me.

Unable to say anything back to him, I nodded and went straight back to my room. I knew it well enough to get there blindfolded. I sat down on the bed, knowing that I would never write those letters. I had already written letters. I wasn't very good at them. They would be like the speech that I tried to write to honor Rue and Thresh in District 11. Things seemed clear in my head and even when I talked before the crowd, but the words never came out of the pen right.

Besides, they were meant to go with embraces to each member of my family. Embraces that would have told them everything else that words could not. Kisses and a stroke of Prim's hair, a loving hug from Ms. Everdeen, the tightest hug that I could ever give to Katniss, a sweet goodbye to Rye, with a promise to take care of his family, a caress of Gale's face in the only way that I could, and a squeeze of Madge's hand. They could not be delivered with a wooden box containing my cold, stiff body.

Too heartsick to cry, with all of my tears already used up over these past few months, all I wanted to do was to curl up on the bed and sleep until we arrived in the Capitol tomorrow morning. But I had a mission. No. It was more than a mission. It was my dying wish. Keep Cato alive. No matter what it took. I would save him and allow him to live on. Which meant that I had to get up and move on. And as unlikely as it seemed that I could achieve my mission in the face of the Capitol's anger, it was important that I be at the top of my game. That wouldn't happen if I was mourning for everyone I loved back home.

No. It was time for me to get up and go over it. It was time for me to move on and focus on my new mission. To save Cato. _Let them go. Say goodbye and forget them_. The thought was heart-wrenching, but I had to do it. I did my best, thinking of them one by one, releasing them like birds from the protective cages inside me, and locking the doors against their return. Saying goodbye to Katniss's little bickering, Prim's sweet smile, Ms. Everdeen's reassuring words, and Gale's complete faith.

By the time that Effie knocked on my door to call me to dinner, I was empty. But the lightness wasn't entirely unwelcome. The meal was subdued. So subdued, in fact, that there were long periods of silence relieved only by the removal of old dishes and presentation of new ones. A cold soup of pureed vegetables. Fish cakes with creamy lime paste. Those little birds filled with orange sauce, with wild rice and watercress. Chocolate custard dotted with cherries. Effie made the occasional attempts at a conversation that quickly died out.

"So what do we do now? The Reapings should be on television, or at least the repeats of them. I'm going to turn it on and see what I can find," I said.

Haymitch nodded, dropping on the couch with me. "Go for it," Haymitch said.

Grabbing the remote off of the side table, I flipped it on and started to scan through the channels. It was surprisingly hard to find the Reapings for the Games. I had thought that they would be the easiest things to find. Everything was about the Games but I wanted to find the one channel that I was looking for. The ones where they would either be talking about the Tributes or replaying the Reapings. Those were the only channels that mattered to me right now.

"Oh, wait, wait!" Effie called.

"What?" I asked, glancing up at her.

She shooed my hand away from the remote and I tilted my head at her. "Drop the remote," Effie said.

"But -"

"Just for a moment. Soon, Aspen, I promise."

I didn't want to drop the remote but I did want to avoid a fight. "Fine," I muttered.

So I turned the television off and turned to look at her. "All right. Before we begin I've had a thought," Effie said.

Things were never good when Effie started having thoughts. That was always a dangerous thing. I groaned quietly, knowing that whenever Effie had a thought it meant that we would be sitting here forever while she explained it to us. Great. I just wanted to know who it was that was the District 2 male and start getting my plan together. Was it so hard to just let me look for it? No. But would anyone do what I asked? No.

"You don't say," Haymitch muttered. I laughed lightly.

Effie looked over to Haymitch with a little glare and I smiled. They would never admit it but they acted like an old married couple. It was ridiculous. Everything that they argued about. Shaking her head at Haymitch, Effie turned back to me and motioned to the Mockingjay pin that I had hidden underneath my hair. I was glad that I had hidden it. I was pretty sure that the Peacekeepers would have taken it had they seen it. They wanted nothing to do with the Mockingjay in these Games. Other than her death, of course.

"Aspen has her gold Mockingjay pin. I have my hair," Effie said. I glanced up. She had gold hair. I hadn't even noticed. Interesting. Better than the ugly magenta she was in last year. "I'm gonna get you and Cato something gold. Do you happen to know Cato's ring size, Aspen?"

My eyebrow raised at her and I shook my head. Was that something that normal people knew about each other? Probably. But it wasn't something that I knew. Because it was something that I would have never thought of. Of course I didn't know his ring size. I didn't know his shirt size and I didn't know his pant size. I really didn't know anything like that about Cato. We didn't have time to learn about each other. Cato had someone to pick out things for him. There was no need for me to know things like that.

"Why would I know his ring size?" I asked.

Haymitch scoffed at me. "Normal spouses know that," Haymitch said.

"Shut up." I turned to him with a glare and shook my head. "The wedding band wasn't from me. His stylist made the band for him. I didn't buy it." Haymitch nodded, clearly not caring. "And, uh, why is this? That we need something gold?"

Honestly I was completely confused at what Effie was getting at. For a moment I actually saw something close to regret cross her face and I sucked in a breath. Was Effie really feeling bad for this happening to me? She probably was. I'd seen how close to tears she was at the Reaping. It hadn't really even been her. She had just been raised to think that this was good. To think that this was something for good entertainment, not something that meant tearing apart hundreds of innocent families.

"A token. Show them we are a team," Effie said. That was the woman that I knew Effie really was. "And they can't just..."

Not wanting to see Effie cry, I stood up and grabbed her hand. She looked up to me and I watched as she blinked her gold eyelashes quickly, blinking back any tears that were threatening to fall. "Thank you, Effie," I told her. She nodded at me, clearly pleased with herself. "That was actually good thinking."

She giggled slightly. The sound was nice. Everyone had been far too serious these days. It was nice to hear real laughter, especially when it came from a friend. But there was something else. Evidently, Effie didn't know that my Mockingjay pin was now a symbol used by the rebels. At least in District 8. But of course she wouldn't know. In the Capitol, the Mockingjay was still a fun reminder of an especially exciting Hunger Games. What else could it be? Real rebels didn't put a secret symbol on something as durable as jewelry. They put it on a wafer of bread that could be eaten in a second if necessary.

Risking a glance over at Haymitch, I noticed that he was much more subdued than he normally was. He wasn't drinking but I could tell that he would like to be. Effie had them take her own wine away when she saw the effort he was making, but he was in a miserable state. It didn't matter. We needed him to not be drinking. Because, when we were in the Games, we couldn't risk him going through a withdrawal. He didn't owe me anything for himself in the arena and normally could have been as drunk as he liked. But I needed him to give all he had to keep Cato alive in an arena full of his old friends, and he would probably fail.

"Maybe we could get you a wig, too," I said in an attempt at lightness. He just shot me a look that said to leave him alone, and we all ate our custard in silence.

But we weren't in the comfortable silence for too long. I knew that there were other things that we would need to focus on. Like the upcoming Games. We couldn't just be griping at each other all the time anymore. We had to learn to work together. Always one to ruin emotional moments, Haymitch stepped in between Effie and me and led me to the couch. Effie headed up to the dining room, close enough so that she could still hear but far away enough so that she wouldn't get distracting.

"Alright now. Everything will be different because it's a Quarter Quell," Haymitch told me.

"I figured that much," I said.

We were lucky in that sense. Haymitch had already been in a Quarter Quell and he knew how these years worked. "The Capitol has spared no expense. A new training center a new Tribute living quarters and of course a very special arena," Haymitch said. I scoffed. Of course, that would come as no surprise. "But this year you'll be facing other Victors. Capitol favorites. Smart cunning skilled. And they all know one another. You and Cato, if he's the one going in, are the outsiders."

"Okay. So what?" I asked.

He was right. We were the ones that only had one year under our belts and that could be counted as luck. "I want you and him to forget everything you think you knew about the Games. Last year was child's play. This year you're all dealing with all experienced killers," Haymitch said.

"That doesn't mean that you can forget about your manners," Effie said.

I glanced back to see that Effie was playing on her little device, probably talking to one of her friends back in the Capitol. "Alright," I told him, sighing deeply. He was right. This year would be so different. It would be so much harder than last year. It would be real killers. But I was one too. I couldn't afford to forget that. "What's that mean for us? Or what does that mean for me and you at least?"

I made sure to correct myself, but I was slowly losing hope that it wasn't going to be Cato going into these Games. Haymitch looked a little hesitant to tell me at first and I merely stared at him, wanting him to get on with it and just tell me what I needed to do. He finally sighed and came to lean down in front of me.

"That means you're gonna have to have some allies," Haymitch said.

"What?" I asked.

"Allies, Aspen."

My eyes widened. So that was why he hadn't wanted to tell me. He had to be kidding me. There was no way that I was going to take anyone else into our little alliance. I had seen alliances end so quickly and for no reason. They were all backstabbers and I wasn't willing to make a mistake that would cost Cato's life. Nope. There was no way that I was working with anyone. Plus Haymitch had already told me that all of these people would want me dead. They blamed me for being here in the first place. Why would that make me want to work with any of them?

"No. Cato, you, and me. That's it," I said.

Haymitch groaned loudly. I knew that wouldn't go over with him well. "That's stupid," Haymitch said.

"We're the ones that will be working together in this thing and we know what happens when we get to the end. We don't need anyone else to jeopardize the plan," I said, with a stern look.

Haymitch rolled his eyes at me but I stuck with my previous statement. There was no way that I was caving on having an alliance going into the Games. Period. End of story. I wasn't going to be doing anything with anyone other than Haymitch and Cato. He should have known that. There was no way that I was risking Cato's life with someone that might end up killing us in our sleep. I wasn't that thick. I hadn't thought that Haymitch would be either. Of course, he probably trusted some of these people. I didn't.

"Don't be an idiot, Aspen," Haymitch said.

"Thanks," I said, rolling my eyes. He loved to call me an idiot.

"Manners," Effie called back, as we both rolled our eyes.

There were no manners in these Games. She should have known that. "Look, you're starting at a disadvantage. Most of these people have been friends for years," Haymitch said.

"That's the whole reason that I don't want to work with any of them," I said.

"They can help you."

Shaking my head at Haymitch, I came to stand. "And I think that you just answered your own question," I said. Haymitch shook his head, clearly hoping that I would change my mind and decide to take on at least one other person. "That's exactly why I don't want to be allies with any of these people. That just puts us higher on their kill list."

Even if it was Haymitch's friend, I couldn't risk it. I had a plan and nothing was going to stop that plan. "You're putting yourself in danger," Haymitch warned.

"No. That plan would put us in danger. I can't risk anyone trying to kill Cato or me. I have to make sure that he's safe. You know that," I said softly, hoping he would sympathize.

Haymitch looked torn and I knew that he didn't know whether to force me to take on a few more people for an alliance or to just let me work with Cato and him. Hopefully the three of us would make it on our own. "Do it your own way, but I know these people. You're going out there alone and their first move is to gonna be to hunt you down. Both of you," Haymitch said.

"Aspen. Come on," Effie goaded.

My stomach roiled at the thought. Was that really what they were going to do? Track Cato and me down first? That would have been my plan if I were them. Of course they were. As far as they were concerned, we were the reason that they were back in that arena. And they would have been right about that. Well, technically that was me, but they would do anything to get to me and that included killing Cato. But I wouldn't let them do that. They could kill me, but not him.

"They know how strong you two are and they know that you both have the Capitol rooting for you. Aspen, come on," Haymitch begged, when he saw that I still wasn't ready to budge on an alliance.

I plopped back down onto the couch and motioned to the blank screen of the television. "Tell you what. If it isn't Cato I'll consider taking on an alliance," I told him.

"You're being an idiot," Haymitch said.

"Maybe. But I'm also being safe."

And I was being safe. I knew that he wanted me to do it no matter what, but there was no way that I could risk him getting hurt. I wasn't even sure if he wanted to be in an alliance. We would have to talk about that. He had done that once and had looked like he might kill them at any given moment. But that was also because they were hung up on killing the girl that he loved. Maybe if it was between friends he wouldn't mind an alliance. This was too hard. I just needed to know if he was going to be in these Games.

"That way there isn't as much for me to lose," I mumbled, I saw a wave of sadness flash over Haymitch's face. "Keep in mind that we still don't even know who's going to be the male Tribute for District 2. You don't know yet, do you?"

"No," Haymitch said, giving me a pointed look that told me not to ask again.

"Come on, Haymitch. How could any of us trust each other?" I asked him.

A small sigh came out of his mouth. I knew where this one was going. The same way that these kinds of conversations normally went. Haymitch shook his head and sat down next to me. He let me lay slightly on him and I let out a shaky breath. He really was a wonderful person. It made me feel a little guilty for thinking he was just a mindless drunk for all of these years. It also made me feel very guilty for thinking that I might have to be the one to kill him.

"It's not about trust. It's about staying alive," Haymitch said.

"I know."

He was right. I could start with someone and stay with them until I felt like it was getting too dangerous. Numbers were only good for so long in these Games. Eventually they would get you killed. "Keep in mind that there might be people going into these Games that you could end up finding yourself trusting," Haymitch said.

"Really?" I asked.

"At least trusting enough to not kill you in your sleep," Haymitch added, once he saw the doubtful look pop up on my face.

Taking in a deep breath I sighed and shook my head at the entire situation, dropping my head into my lap. I just wanted this to be all over. I wanted this to be a nightmare. I wanted to wake up in my pathetic little house back in District 12 on Reaping Day and let none of this ever happen. Cato could have won the way he was supposed to and I would have hated him just the way that I was supposed to. But maybe this really was better. At least I got to keep Prim safe and I knew what a great man Cato was. I just wished that things could end differently.

"I know, but there's always the chance that something could happen. I'm not sure if that's a chance that I'd be willing to take. Cato has to live and I can't do anything to put that plan in danger," I said softly.

For a moment we stared at each other. Finally Haymitch nodded, not wanting to keep fighting about it. I grabbed the remote again - hellbent on finding out who the Tributes were - and nearly screamed as Effie called for dessert, and, of course, to keep the television off. It was like no one wanted me to know what Cato was doing until I got to the Tribute Parade. And I couldn't wait that long. I briefly wondered if this was easier on him. At least for the past two months he had known that I was going into the Games. There were no false hopes.

But there was also a lot of fear building up for him. He had no faith that I might not go into the Games. I sighed and listened as Effie and Haymitch talked about what they thought that this year was going to be like. Haymitch was convinced that the barrier was going to be a problem this year. He was telling us about how every few years they put in an electric barrier but made it invisible to Tributes. A few would run into it and it would electrocute them. Sometimes it would kill them and other times it would only stun them.

Needless to say my skin crawled since I had been shocked a few times by the electric fence that led to the woods. Never badly. But it was enough that was why I had chosen to jump from the tree the other month rather than wait it out. Every once in a while it was on, and sometimes I wasn't paying enough attention to realize it. The thing had never seriously injured me but it was extremely painful. It made me a lot more cautious though. Effie seemed to think that this year they were going to put more muttations in. That nearly made me lose my appetite completely. All it did was remind me of my times with the mutts during my Games.

The lion, the bear, the Tribute dogs, the Tracker Jackers, and, my personal favorite, the wolf mutt. Effie told me that apparently after my Games popularity of mutts had gone up nearly one hundred percent. I had nearly throttled her for telling me that it was good though. Apparently I knew how to fight them well enough and that was increasing my chances to win. But she didn't understand. All of those fights had been won on luck. All of them were just me being smart enough to outsmart the mutts. All of them, except for the wolf mutt, that had just been the grace of some higher power willing me to live.

That should have killed me. The infection would have killed me had it not been for Cato. Effie seemed convinced that I would be fine with the mutts. It felt good to at least have someone believe in me, but it made me nervous. I didn't want my death to let her down. I wasn't even sure if I knew what the arena was going to be like. I wasn't sure that I wanted to know what the arena was going to be like. All I knew was that no matter where I went, danger would follow me. President Snow wouldn't want me to last very long in these Games.

He would want me dead in the first two days if he could have it his way, and I knew that it meant that it was more than likely that I would have to face mutts. They were the easiest way to kill Tributes most of the time. That and natural disasters. Apparently the odds to win a fight with a mutt were something like one in ten. Not good odds. My hands were shaking slightly as I pushed my pie around the plate and I sighed. These damn Games were going to starve me. My plate was hardly touched. I needed to force myself to eat it. I couldn't afford to be weak during the Games.

"The Reapings should be playing now, do you want to watch them?" Effie asked me.

Suddenly my plate was forgotten. "Yes. Turn them on," I said.

Quickly I jumped over to the couch. Haymitch followed slowly, taking the seat next to me and Effie followed. He flipped the television on and I sucked in a breath as Caesar Flickerman came onto the screen, smiling brightly. Glad he was so excited to see his 'favorite' Victors die. "We can save District 2 for last if you want?" Haymitch asked.

For a moment I hesitated. That might have made it a little easier to focus on the other Reapings - which was important - but I knew that I would be too antsy to wait. So I shook my head and leaned forward. The show was on pause while Haymitch waited for me to answer and I thought about it for a moment. It would mean that my wait would be longer but it also meant that I would be able to think clearly while I watched everyone else get Reaped for the Games. It made more sense to watch his last, but I just had to know.

"No. Play them like normal. I need to see it. I need to know if it's him," I said softly, watching as Haymitch nodded.

It seemed like he had wanted me to say yes and watch District 2 last but he finally nodded at me and raised the remote to the screen. My heart was pounding rapidly and I shook my head at myself. I was more scared for him now than I was at last year's Reaping. And I had been pretty terrified because of my name being in the Reaping ball so many times. It only made sense that my name was the only one in it this year. I hadn't even been afraid this year. Now I was terrified.

"Alright. Well let's take a look," Haymitch said.

Finally he hit the play button. Caesar Flickerman brightened and I shook my head. I did like the man but at times he ground on my nerves. Maybe it was because he had been sobbing over the fact that Cato and I had almost lost each other a year ago and here we were again, more than likely going to be pitted against each other again. They really did like to make a twisted love story. Claudius Templesmith was with him and I let out a deep breath, staring at the screen blankly.

"Oh, it is an exciting year indeed! The third Quarter Quell that we have ever seen here and sure to be the best!" Caesar said. We were the most screwed up. We weren't afraid to do anything to make sure that we lived. "For this time it isn't just some new kids that we get to fall in love with and root for. This time it is from our favorite competitors. Of course, that just makes all of the losses that much harder on us."

He didn't care. Not really. None of them did. "It will be very hard to say goodbye to all but one of them," Claudius said.

"But we are sure that these former Victors are just as excited as we are to get to come back and compete in the Hunger Games one last time! But not nearly as excited as we are!" Caesar said. That time both Haymitch and I laughed loudly. That was an understatement. "So let's take a look at the Reapings from all twelve Districts from earlier today."

Before we could actually start the Reapings, Haymitch went off to retrieve his notebook on the remaining living Victors. The one that Katniss had started and forced us to keep reading up on. We gathered in the compartment with the television to see who our competition would be in the arena. My stomach was churning as we waited for them to begin. We were all in place as the anthem began to play and the annual recap of the Reaping ceremonies in the twelve Districts began.

In the history of the Games, there had been seventy-five Victors. Fifty-nine were still alive. I recognized many of their faces, either from seeing them as Tributes or Mentors at previous Games or from our recent viewing of the Victors' tapes. Some were so old or wasted by illness, drugs, or drink that I couldn't place them. As one would expect, the pools of Career Tributes from Districts 1, 2, and 4 were the largest. But every District - even District 12 - had managed to scrape up at least one female and one male Victor.

The screen faded out to the Reapings. I tuned the Reaping out slightly but I did look at the Victors standing on the stage. They all looked proud and happy. I caught sight of Gloss and Cashmere and shook my head. I had met them once in person and they looked extremely unfriendly. But something told me that they were going to be the ones going into the Games. As their names were called and they walked forward, joining hands, I nodded. Make that the first two for me to stay away from. They wouldn't be fond of me. Not that anyone would be particularly fond of me.

"Cashmere and Gloss. Brother and sister. District 1. They won back to back Games," Haymitch told me, like he was almost on an automatic loop.

He knew that I knew that. Maybe he just wanted to reinforce them. "I remember them from when I was little," I said.

"I think you've met them once or twice. Capitol favorites. Lot of Sponsors. They will be lethal," Haymitch continued.

"That much I figured," I said.

They clearly weren't two that I should get anywhere near. I had a bad history with District 1 residents. Last year I had stabbed one of them to death after he had killed my friend, and I dropped a nest of Tracker Jackers on the other one, killing her accidentally. Neither death was really my fault. Well, Marvel's was. They probably weren't going to be that forgiving of my actions last year. They would be two that I would definitely avoid. Besides, they were much bigger than me and no matter how good I was in a knife fight, if they were stronger, they would win.

"Yes, I have had the pleasure of very briefly meeting the both of them. I have to say that I wasn't a fan. And the other half of the Career pack?" I asked softly, hoping that Haymitch would resume the Reapings.

"Calm down, sweetheart. They're coming," Haymitch said.

Haymitch shook his head at me as I sucked in a breath and District 2 came into view. I could see that the stage was crowded with Victors. All nine of the men. My eyes scanned the crowd for Cato. Finally I saw him, lingering on the side. I nearly cried. He was dressed in a white dress shirt and black pants and he looked calmer than I had ever seen him. It was so unnatural to see him without any emotion on his face. I tried to find Cato's family in the crowd but it was useless. There were too many people in District 2.

But they would be somewhere towards the front to watch their boy. To watch him potentially make a very foolish mistake. I watched as Enobaria was Reaped and I nodded. I wasn't a fan of hers necessarily, but I didn't hate her. That didn't mean that she wouldn't be dangerous. That was exactly why I wouldn't side with her. She would try to kill me in a heartbeat.

"Brutus and Enobaria," Haymitch said as Brutus was Reaped.

I let out a deep breath. "Thank you," I whispered.

Cato was safe. He wasn't going to be in the Games. "I think you got off lucky this time. Not something that we can really say anymore," Haymitch muttered.

"Good," I said, nodding blankly.

My head was in my lap and my mind was reeling. It didn't matter what happened now. Not what happened after this. All that mattered was that Cato was not going into the Games. He was going to be safe this year to help me outside of the arena. I took a few deep breaths before sitting back up. Now I had to start thinking. I could win this, damn it. I could still be with Cato. But right as that thought crossed my mind, I saw him step forward and head to the microphone.

"Wait a minute," I said.

"Oh, no," Effie whispered.

My comment was enough to effectively silence Haymitch and Effie. "Please don't do it, Cato. Please," I whispered.

I held my breath as I prayed that Cato wouldn't do anything stupid. I wanted to go into these Games by myself. I didn't want these Games to exist. I wanted Snow to take me out into the Capitol and execute me. Do whatever he wanted to me. Just keep Cato from going into these Games. He didn't deserve it. He should have been with his family who loved him. _Let me go alone_. Let me be with my family and Peeta and Rue and everyone else that I had lost because I couldn't protect them. I can't protect anyone. How could I think that I could protect Cato?

"I volunteer," Cato said.

"No," I said, crying out softly.

Haymitch put his arm around me and I dropped into his shoulder. My eyes were still glued onto the screen as Brutus stepped in front of Cato and pushed him away slightly. Brutus was really going to help me here. He was really going to make sure that Cato wasn't going to be the one to go into the Games. Screw any bad thoughts that I ever had about Brutus. I would let him be the one to kill me when we got to the end if it meant that he would ensure that Cato would be his Mentor, not the other way around.

"I can't let you do that," Brutus said, grabbing Cato's arm.

"It's not up to you," Cato said.

"No, Cato, I really don't want you to do that."

"I don't care. Move."

"Please, alright?" Brutus asked.

Cato made to move around Brutus. _Come on, Brutus. Please make sure that he doesn't get up to that microphone_. "I volunteer," Cato repeated.

"I want the chance to compete in these Games," Brutus said.

"I've already volunteered."

"Don't worry. I'll leave your little friend alone," Brutus said, his eyes sparkling a little.

A flat look fell over my face as I shook my head. Leave it to Brutus to be an asshole about these kind of things. He could only be nice for so long. Cato stood over Brutus but the two were about the same height. It was just a macho man staring contest. Neither were afraid of the other and both wanted to be the one to go into the Games. Brutus wanted to do it because he had made a promise to Haymitch and me, but Cato wanted to do it so he could keep me safe. He wanted to be there in person. He couldn't do it from behind the screen. Not in his mind at least.

"I volunteer, Brutus. I thought that I made that clear. No one is going into that arena except for me," Cato said.

He shoved by the older man and I shook my head. There was no stopping him. He was going to come into the Games with me. "Cato -" Brutus tried.

"You said that you wouldn't hurt her?" Cato asked, before going up to the microphone.

Brutus nodded. I could tell that when this had aired in the Capitol, everyone had been clinging to their seats and tears had been in their eyes. "I won't hurt her," Brutus said.

"Then give me your word. Keep her safe. Not me, her," Cato said.

"Cato..."

"Her. Not me. Promise me."

My heart shattered at his words and a few tears slipped out of my eyes. He had said the exact same thing to Brutus that I had asked Haymitch two months ago. I could kill Cato right now. I couldn't believe that he had done something that foolish. He was safe. He could have had a guarantee to live but he had given it up, all so that I could be the one to live. I still wouldn't live though. He had made a mistake. Cato was making it out of that arena. Brutus laid his hand on Cato's shoulder and nodded.

"Alright, son," Brutus said.

"Thank you," Cato said, before moving to the side and taking his place besides Enobaria.

Sniffling slightly as the camera faded to Caesar, who was wiping tears out of his eyes as he recapped what had just happened, I stood and reached around for something to throw. Or break. Anything to make me feel even slightly better. It was a little childish but I was so angry right now. I couldn't believe what had happened. Cato wanted me to be safe but he had been safe! He had given his life up to maybe guarantee me mine. Not finding anything to throw, I dropped back onto the couch and kicked out at the table.

"Oh, I can't believe that he did that. There's no way that he really did that. Why the hell didn't Brutus fight harder to go into the Games? I can't believe him!" I shouted, not wanting to believe that even after having a plan to make sure that Cato wouldn't go into the Games he still would. "You said that he was going to fight as hard as possible to make sure that Cato didn't go into the Games!"

My anger was unfairly directed towards Haymitch. He hadn't done anything. He had been trying to help me out here and I was throwing it back in his face. Unfairly too. Haymitch seemed to think that too as he stood and I shrunk back slightly. But I wasn't going to cave on this. He had told me that Brutus would fight to make sure that Cato was not the one that would go into the Games, but that wasn't much of a fight. He had hardly done anything to keep him as a Mentor.

"Hey, it happens!" Haymitch yelled, louder than I had ever heard him. "You knew as well as I did that if anyone but Cato was called then he had a perfectly good chance at going into the Games. You knew that. Brutus tried, but in the end there was nothing that he could do. Cato was determined to go into the Games. He just wants to protect you. That's what he's going to do. That's what he's going to spend his last breath doing."

No. No, he was not. There was no way that this was really happening. Pathetically I looked up at the screen where Cato and Enobaria were shaking hands. She looked half-dead but she also looked determined and like she hadn't slept for a number of weeks. Her teeth were sparkling and I felt a little shiver go through me. Would they really tear at your skin if she got close enough to bite you?

"What are you doing, Cato? Why couldn't you just let me be the hero for once? All I wanted to do was make sure that you were safe," I said softly, wishing more than anything else that he could hear me.

To my surprise, Effie patted me on the leg. "It will be okay," she said.

"Thank you." I wished that he was here right now. I needed him to be here for me. To know that I wanted him to be safe.

"Haymitch," I said. He looked up at me. I motioned over to Enobaria and he nodded at me. "Her teeth, are they dangerous?"

Haymitch scoffed at me loudly and I rolled my eyes. That wasn't very nice. I knew that they could potentially be extremely dangerous but I wanted to know if they were for show or not. I couldn't tell how strong they were. Some people would just do it to scare the hell out of other Tributes and hope that they would stay away from them. It was the Capitol. Had they actually given her something deadly? This was Enobaria. I wouldn't have been surprised if she had done it because she was counting on getting to kill another person like that one day.

"How the hell were you the one that lived in the Games?" Haymitch asked.

"That was uncalled for," I said.

Leave it to Haymitch to put things gently. "Come on, girl. Think a little. She had them filed into fangs so that she can rip people's throats out," Haymitch said.

"Not that I'm really a fan on Enobaria but... She's committed. I'll give her that," I said.

Haymitch snorted at me. Mostly because it was the entire the truth. I blanched a little as I realized that it wasn't just for show. She had done it so that if the day like this ever came, she would be ready. Had she known that something like this was coming one day? Or maybe she just liked being cheered for in the Capitol. It didn't matter. It just meant that I would sure as hell be staying away from her. At least if I was going to fight her, it would be a fight at a distance. I wasn't one for biting.

"So are they the ones that are going to make up the Career pack?" I asked.

It wasn't really easy to tell who was going to be in the Career pack. Gloss and Cashmere would be part, but would Enobaria? Cato would be with me. Would Enobaria go with the people that she knew better or would she go with the boy that was her friend and District partner? It was a good question. It seemed like Haymitch was torn on it too as he sighed and shook his head. It was hard to think who it was going to be that would make up the Career pack, if there would even be one this year. It would be the first year that there would be none if Enobaria decided to stick with Cato. We would just have to see.

"Well I can honestly say that I'm not really sure what the Career pack is going to be. These aren't just a few kids that have trained all of their lives. These are adults that know the way that the Games work and they know survival skills too. No one has any incredible weak spots like normal Tributes do," Haymitch said.

"Awesome," I growled.

This was so different. "It's possible that the Career pack may be Tributes from all over the map. Cashmere and Gloss will be in the Career pack for sure and maybe Enobaria. We know that Cato will be with you," Haymitch said.

These people were all Victors. Any one of them had the skills to be in the Career pack. That made these Games even less predictable. I could give the Gamemakers one thing. They were certainly going to make one hell of a show. "Alright, I guess we can find the other ones as we go. We should move on. See who else is going to be in the Games. There's nothing that we can do now except work with the plan," I said.

"Alright," Haymitch said, not pushing me anymore.

The screen was already on the Victors that were now Tributes for District 3. I knew them both. Not that I knew them. I had just seen them before. I had actually never met either one of them. I figured that they weren't very well loved and that meant that they got to skip out on the Capitol parties and press interviews. Lucky them. I would have loved to do something like that. Get to be a Victor where people essentially left you alone. No one cared about you.

"You might remember who these two are," Haymitch said.

"I know Beetee. She's fuzzy," I said.

"Just like I thought. You should probably know who the man is at least. Wiress and Beetee," Haymitch said. I nodded. Definitely I knew who he was. I wasn't quite sure about the woman. I had heard of her but I wasn't sure what she was like. "Not fighters but brilliant... and weird. Real tech savvy. He won his game by electrocuting six Tributes at once," Haymitch said.

"Damn," I muttered.

Part of me had always liked Beetee. He had won his Games without really taking a life. He had electrocuted them, which had looked brutal, but apparently it was a fast and relatively painless death. He was better than me if nothing else. When I took the lives that I did, they had never been painless. Although it made him a huge competitor right now. He could set up a trap and I would never see it coming. I couldn't fight my way out of an electrical trap.

"I've heard of him. Not a favorite of the Capitol since he isn't a fighter. He won by what they would consider is cheating. He went and grabbed the things from the Cornucopia that everyone else had left behind and waited for a storm to come to electrocute the other six. All fighters. None of them saw it coming," I said.

"Very good," Haymitch said.

Beetee had taken out the Career pack and two Tributes from outlying Districts that were both good fighters too. It had been a shock at the time but I hadn't been born yet. I'd seen it in recaps. Even though the Capitol people didn't love him, they did hold some fascination with what he had done at the end of his Games. Haymitch nodded at me, seemingly impressed that I had known so much about Beetee. But of course I had. I had read Haymitch's flies plenty of times while I was at his house with nothing better to do.

"She's smart, too. I can't remember how she won. She was a little before my time," Haymitch said.

He must have been an infant when Wiress had won. I wasn't surprised that he didn't remember her. She didn't exactly look memorable. "Doesn't matter. She'll be smart," I said.

"But I know that she wasn't a fighter either. Don't count on her intelligence. She hasn't got much of a brain left, but she is nice. I would avoid her though. Not sure what might be going on up there. No worries about either of them being with the Careers," Haymitch said.

"Okay."

That was a little harsh. They both looked like good people and even though Wiress might have been a little out there I was sure that she would make a good person. If we weren't where we were, I might have thought about befriending them. As I glanced up I saw that an older woman had just volunteered for Annie Cresta in District 4 and I thanked her silently. I didn't really know Annie, but she looked nice. And Finnick loved her. That had to mean that she was good. It took a lot for Finnick to fall in love with someone.

"Finnick Odair," I said sadly.

My heart was breaking as I watched him step forward with a soft smile, wrapping his arms around the older woman. Damn it. No. I had been hoping that it would be anyone else. Not Finnick, too. That was one of the things that I had been counting on. I wasn't sure if I would be able to fight him. He was like a brother to me. It hurt to even think about laying a hand on him. But I had to. If it meant that Cato would be safe, I would have to fight him. And I would have to be careful. He was tough.

"I should have known that he would be one of the ones that would be coming back into the Games. He was a cheat, too," I said.

Haymitch looked over at me and nodded, letting me know that it was the reason that Finnick would be going into the Games. It was a stupid reason though. They all had wanted him to win so badly. They had all wanted to know more about the little boy that was seemingly so strong. The cute little boy with a sweet personality. Now it seemed that everyone knew who the boy wonder was. They knew him and they loved him. Except for President Snow, that is.

"Yes. I believe that you already know quite a bit about your fellow Victor. He won his game at fourteen after receiving a trident. Most expensive gift ever given," Haymitch said. I nodded. For a moment I wondered how much Coral's sai blades had cost. "And he was the youngest Victor ever. Extremely humble if you actually know him," Haymitch said.

My eyes shot over to him and I arched one of my eyebrows. Had he really just told me that Finnick was humble? Finnick was many things, but humble wasn't one of them. I knew that Haymitch was friendly with Finnick but I also knew that the two men were constantly at it with each other. Not that it was surprising. It was mildly amusing to watch them. But I had never thought that Haymitch would call Finnick humble. I would never even call him humble.

"You're kidding?" I asked stupidly.

Haymitch snorted and nodded, clearly still thinking that I was a total idiot. Before I died I would have to make sure that I did at least one intelligent thing, just so that Haymitch would call me smart. That would make dying so much easier. "Have you spent more than ten minutes with the man?" Haymitch asked.

"Yes," I muttered, hoping that he would let it go. I knew that I had sounded stupid, asking him that.

"Yes, I'm kidding. He's a peacock. A total preener," Haymitch said. I laughed loudly. Sounded like Finnick. "But he's the Capitol darling, they love him here. Just like you. Charming smart and very skilled in combat, especially in water."

Weakly, I swallowed my pride and any sense of human decency and asked the question that I had been hoping that I could get away without asking. If I wanted any chance of winning these Games for Cato, I would have to ask. "Finnick is my friend and I hate to ask this but I have to," I said. Haymitch nodded, waiting for me to ask a question that broke my heart. "What about weaknesses?"

The stab of guilt shot through me like one of Marvel's spears. It was easy that Haymitch was with me on the whole not wanting to kill Finnick thing as he nodded slowly, clearly not happy with my train of thought at the moment. But I had to start thinking about it. It was only to make sure that Cato was the one that would win these Games.

"Don't write him off yet, Aspen. He would fit in well with the Careers but I'm not sure that he'll be one. I think he'd rather be with you," Haymitch said.

"I can't. Finnick is a friend. I can't have him with me," I said, fighting back a smile.

I loved Finnick, but we couldn't go together. It would only make things harder in the end. He couldn't be with me unless he was willing to sacrifice his life for Cato. "Who knows, he might side with you on the whole save Cato thing," Haymitch told me.

"Really?" I asked.

"We'll see," Haymitch said. He wouldn't. He wanted to be with Annie and I wanted that for him. "But as for the weaknesses, he's got one. Mags. She volunteered for Annie. Mags was his Mentor and basically raised him and he's trying to protect her in any way. It exposes him."

She was one of the earliest Victors. I was amazed that she was even still alive after everything that she had been through. That didn't make things any easier. That just meant that I would have to kill an old woman if I wanted any chance at killing Finnick. We hadn't even made it to the Capitol yet and these Games were already getting a little too hard for me. But I couldn't give up. This was for Cato.

"Finnick is a smart man and he has to know that she's not gonna make it. I would take mercy on her but there are plenty of people who won't. I bet when it really comes down to it he's not even gonna protect her," I said, feeling guilty.

Haymitch's face went slightly red and I cleared my throat when I realized what he meant. He knew this woman. He liked her, too. She seemed nice enough. She had volunteered for Annie. Great. That still made me look like an asshole. Maybe I fit in with the Capitol more than I would have thought I would.

"Well, Aspen, I just hope when she goes she goes quickly. She's actually, um... a wonderful lady," Haymitch said.

"She looks nice," I muttered.

"I think you would like her if you ever got the chance to get to know her," Haymitch said.

That was the point. I couldn't get to know her. The screen was now in District 5 and my heart made a little pang as I thought about Finch and Sparrow. They should have been able to be together. There were two people up on the stage who were thin and looked like they might fall over and die at any minute. They didn't look too old but they did look like they were ready to explode or melt. What the hell was wrong with them? They were Victors. They were taught to be better than that.

"Who are they?" I asked Haymitch.

It seemed like he wasn't a fan of the two younger people up on the screen. He shook his head and let the camera continue to roll. It went into District 6 but I listened as Haymitch talked about the pair. "Not really sure. Two past Victors that didn't make much of a splash during their Games," Haymitch said.

How the hell had they won? How had they beaten a well-trained Career? They must have really burned the people back at the Academy in District 2. "Okay," I said.

"District 5 tends to make some rather lackluster Victors. But anyways, they will be easy targets. Don't worry about them. More that you don't need to worry about."

"Works for me."

That was good. It made them just two less people that I had to worry about. "The Morphlings. Masters of camouflage. Basically won their game by hiding until everyone else was dead. Self-medicating ever since. Not a threat," Haymitch said.

That could be dangerous though. I would have to keep an eye out for where I was walking. If they were good at camouflage that meant that they were more than likely good with traps too. Still, I was pretty confident that I could win a fight with them hands down. Especially if I had Cato on my side. "Okay. Fine. So who's next?" I asked.

The camera faded from District 6 onto District 7. "District 7," Haymitch said, looking at the screen.

"Anyone special there that I should know about? There's only one of their Victors that I know," I said.

Unfortunately I couldn't stop the little gulp that I made. Haymitch nodded and laughed a little bit. He knew that I knew exactly who I was talking about. The only Victor from District 7 that the Capitol cared anything about. She was the only one that they had that genuinely interesting.

"And there she is, looking just as pissed off as ever. Johanna Mason," Haymitch said.

"Great," I muttered.

She was to be the female Tribute. I knew that I would have to stay away from her. She wasn't going to like me very much. "I don't think that you need to know who she is, I'm sure that you already know who she is," Haymitch said.

"I do."

"I would recommend staying away from her. She won't be fond of you," Haymitch said.

"That's shocking." I was planning on staying far away from her.

"As for him, Blight, don't worry about him. He's a good fighter but he's older. He'll be a little slow. She might be with the Careers but he won't be too much of a problem," Haymitch said.

"Yeah, I haven't met Johanna, thankfully, but I know that she won't be too happy to see me. She never seems happy to see anyone actually. And, Blight, I don't think I've ever seen him around," I said.

Johanna was one of those Victors that the people loved because she was cruel, but they hated her as a person. She had a horrible personality and she hated everything having to do with the Capitol. She had made that clear enough over the years. That meant that while she was brought up during times of fight discussions, she never went to any of the parties. She didn't want to be there and they didn't want to invite her. As for Blight, I figured that it was because he was old and from an outlying District.

Haymitch shook his head at me. "Don't worry about Blight for now. He and Johanna are good friends and that means that he will stay with her," Haymitch said.

"She'll protect him?" I asked.

"For a while."

That meant that I would be nowhere near them during the Games. I planned on staying away from people that super wanted to kill me. And she was number one on that list. "As far as I'm concerned, Johanna could help you and Cato out during these Games but don't go seeking her out. Go it?" Haymitch asked.

"Don't worry. I plan to stay far away from her."

I needed no prompting to keep away from her. She was a good fighter. "Good. Alright, let's check out District 8," Haymitch said.

I watched as the District filled onto the screen and I smiled. That was where Cinna's parents were from. Those were the people that made Cinna the way that he was. I guess I had them to thank for that. The District was clearly no longer in an uprising. It was quiet and subdued. Two older people were on the screen, both smiling stiff smiles and probably pretending that this wasn't bothering them. They didn't look familiar to me but I knew that I had seen them somewhere. Obviously. Of course I knew them.

"Who are they?" I asked Haymitch, turning over to him.

Haymitch nodded to the man first. It seemed that he was friends with them but I couldn't be sure. He wasn't exactly easy to read. None of the Victors were easy to read. "Older Victors. Both of them. Woof will go early on. That's easy to say," Haymitch said.

I couldn't believe that he had absolutely no faith in the older man. He might do better than people thought that he could. "Why?" I asked.

"Senile," Haymitch explained. "Cecilia might make it a little longer. Neither of them will make good allies."

"Okay," I said.

I watched as he fast-forwarded to both District 9 and 10, neither one having particularly thrilling Reapings nor having impressive Tributes. That was good. It made things easier for me. It made them easier targets. "As for District 9, I'm not even sure who they are. District 10 either. That's good. It means that they weren't memorable in their Games," Haymitch explained.

"Perfect," I said.

District 10 fell out of view and I leaned into the screen as it showed District 11. I loved the District because of who had come from there, Thresh and Rue, but I knew that it would be a bad idea to get anywhere near it again. An innocent man had died the last time that I had gone there. Haymitch was silent as the man and woman were Reaped and I noticed that he hadn't once looked away from the screen. He was looking at it as if he was wishing that it wasn't true.

"Haymitch? Are you alright?" I asked. He remained silent. My heart broke for him when I realized that it was all because he knew these people. He knew all of them, no matter what he said. They were his friends. I knew how he felt. I knew exactly how he felt. I had friends and a lover in these Games. "You know them both, don't you?"

Part of me was hoping that he wasn't going to yell at me. I took a deep breath when he merely nodded at me and sighed. "Yes, I do. They're both good people. You would have liked them had you gotten the chance to get to know them," Haymitch said.

My heart twisted painfully. I was sure that I would have loved them both. I was sure that I would have loved a lot of these people had I gotten to know them. "Who are they?" I asked.

"His name is Chaff. He's a little strange and extremely exuberant but he's fun to be around and he's a good guy to drink with," Haymitch said.

I knew that I had seen the dark-skinned man before. He was always up in the booth with Haymitch, laughing and drinking like he didn't have a care in the world. They seemed to be best friends. The thought broke my heart even more. Haymitch wouldn't say it, but these were his best friends and family members. Just like me. Chaff was also missing an arm and I knew that it would make him an easy target, but I wasn't going to say anything to Haymitch.

"What happened to his arm?" I asked quietly.

Haymitch looked over to me with a little smile and I tilted my head. Clearly this was a good story if Haymitch was smiling at the loss of one of his friends' limbs. I had taken a boy's eye and that was something that I would never forget. I hadn't even killed him. I had left him there to die. I was no better than whoever hurt Chaff.

"The boy that he was fighting with in the end took off Chaff's arm at the elbow with a sword but Chaff managed to kill him," Haymitch explained.

"They didn't offer him a synthetic one?" I asked.

"The Capitol has offered him a robotic arm more than once but he always say no. He doesn't want anything on him from the Capitol that can remind him of what the Games made him do," Haymitch said.

That was extremely brave of him to do. To just outright refuse to take anything that the Capitol made. It reminded me of Thresh. Maybe that was where he had gotten some of his mannerisms. I would like to think that. I knew that I had a Capitol-designed hearing aid inside of my ear since the blast from the Career supplies had mostly deafened me. That would be nice if I could get rid of that. But part of me knew that it was better that I had my sense of hearing. And Cato had the synthetic tissue on most of his bicep.

"He's a strong man if he can do something like that. I don't think that I would ever be able to do something like that. It's people like him that just make me wish that they would put me in front of all of Panem and execute me," I said softly, immediately regretting having said it out loud.

"No one wants you to die, Aspen. Not any one of us," Effie said.

They didn't need me to be a downer about this whole thing but it was true. There was no reason that this should be happening. Snow should just kill me. It would have made things so much easier. "Don't say things like that. These people, they're already ruined from these Games. At least twenty-four families are still whole this year. That's what we should be focusing on," Haymitch said.

"I suppose that's true," I said.

He was right about that. At least kids were safe this year. "And you did something incredible last year. No matter what happens during these Games, you've started something," Haymitch said.

So I had heard. I was powerless to stop the little scoff that escaped my throat. Apparently everyone thought that I was doing some great thing but I had no idea what I was really doing. All I knew that I was doing was trying to save my fiancé so that he could get back to his family. That was the only thing that mattered to me. I wasn't doing anything. I didn't want to do anything. Although I knew that people were associating me as the Mockingjay, the starter of the rebellion.

"That's what they keep telling me. I assume that you still won't tell me what it is that I've started?" I asked.

"Of course not," Haymitch said, shaking his head.

"I figured that much. Alright, so we know about Chaff. What about her?" I asked about the older woman standing at Chaff's side.

Haymitch shrugged his shoulders. Apparently she wasn't as impressive as her District partner had once been. She looked strong, but she also looked old. That would prove to be a serious hindrance in these Games. "That's Seeder. You'd probably like her. She's a little bit like you. Tough girl. She was well liked during her Games. She was one of the people that was most likely to win her Games, but it won't be that way now. She's old. She will be slower and not as sharp," Haymitch said.

"Okay," I said.

That was all that I needed to hear. She wasn't a threat. That was what mattered. Nothing else. Effie looked at me and I glanced up at her, slightly surprised. Effie had said nearly nothing all day and it was extremely strange. Normally she would have been babbling all damn day about how exciting all of this was. I guessed that things were a little different for everyone this year. Even for the woman who had always loved these Games.

For the most part the Reapings ended up going by quickly. Haymitch studiously put stars by the names of the chosen Tributes in his notebook. Probably for me, considering that he knew who all of these people were. Haymitch would watch in the meantime as he explained about each one of the new Tributes, his face completely devoid of emotion, as friends of his stepped up to take the stage. Effie made hushed, distressed comments about how a woman named Cecilia was picked and how Chaff never could stay out of a fight and sighed frequently.

Once the Reapings had ended and they went back to the Capitol I noticed that Caesar Flickerman and Claudius Templesmith actually looked like they were about to cry. They made sweet almost eulogies to the new Tributes and talked about how upsetting it would be to lose the loved Victors. One of the announcers actually got teary because it seemed that the odds would never be in our favor, we Star-Crossed Lovers of District 12 and District 2, showing Cato's strong face and my silent tears. Then she pulled herself together to say that she bet that these would be the best Games ever.

Haymitch stayed long enough to look at the cropped pictures of the Tributes during their own Crowning Ceremonies before turning and leaving the compartment without a word. If left only Effie and me. And a few Avox's, but they wouldn't be very useful for a conversation. Effie made a few unconnected comments about this Tribute or that, before starting to get everything ready for bed. But I just sat on the couch and started to rip out the pages of the Victors who were not picked. There was no use to have them now.

"Aspen, dear, you've had a long night. You know that tomorrow will be just as long. You should get to bed. I'll come get you in the morning for breakfast," Effie suggested.

"Okay," I said, coming to stand.

"I assume that you remember where your room is, correct?"

It was enough to make me laugh. That was a very stupid question. I'd been on this train enough times and spent enough nights here. I walked forward and gave her a quick hug before letting go of her. I really would miss Effie. No matter how much she got under my skin sometimes, I would always love her. I hoped that she would be proud of me. But I really didn't want to go to bed. Because I wouldn't be able to handle the nightmares. Not without Cato. They were sure to be dreadful tonight. But I could hardly ask her to come watch over me while I slept.

"Yeah, Effie. Thanks. Goodnight. You know where to find me if anything else fun happens," I said, as I headed into the hallway to my bedroom.

So I changed and went to bed and, sure enough, within a few hours I awakened from a nightmare where Mags from District 4 transformed into a large rodent and gnawed on my face. The worst part was that she'd knocked me back into the mud and I'd been forced to watch Cato's corpse lying next to me. Because he had already been eaten alive. Because I had failed. And now it was my punishment. To watch his body as I was slowly killed, in the most brutal way.

When I woke up I knew that I was screaming, but no one came to check on me. They usually didn't. Not unless Haymitch was with me. Not Haymitch or Effie, and not even one of the Capitol attendants. The ones that could actually talk. I pulled on a robe to try to calm the goosebumps that were crawling all over my body. Staying inside my compartment was impossible, so I decided to go find someone to make me tea or hot chocolate or anything possible. Just to keep me from sleeping.

Maybe Haymitch was still up. There was a chance that Effie might have been, but she likely wouldn't want to talk about the Games. Haymitch would be the only person for me to hunt down right now. Surely he wasn't asleep. I ordered some warm milk, the most calming thing I could think of, from an attendant. Hearing voices from the television room, I walked in and find that the television was running. Haymitch had been watching. He was gone now. On the couch was the box Effie sent of tapes of the old Hunger Games. I recognized the episode in which Brutus became a Victor.

One attendant walked by and smiled at me. A young man. Maybe twenty-five or so. "Couldn't sleep?" he asked me.

"Not for long," I said.

I pulled the robe more securely around me as I remembered Mags transforming into the rodent. "Want to talk about it?" the attendant offered.

"Really?" I asked.

"It gets a little lonely. The night shift," the attendant said, smiling.

"You know... Some company would be nice," I said.

"My pleasure," the man said.

"What's your name?" I asked.

"I'm Clio," he said.

"Aspen... Although you knew that," I said awkwardly.

He laughed. "Yes. I did," he said.

There was something about the younger man that made me comfortable. Maybe because he was a Capitol man that didn't seem completely enamored with the Games. He offered me a seat on the couch, but I stayed staring at him. I realized a second later that I was shaking. Sometimes just seeing someone could help, but I just shook my head, feeling weak that people I hadn't even fought yet were already haunting me. Clio seemed to know what was bothering me as he walked forward and placed a hand on my shoulder.

When Clio held out his arms, I walked straight into them. I didn't know this man. I hadn't even known him for five minutes. But there was something about his very presence that was comforting. Almost like an older brother watching out for his younger sister. I realized that he was here last year too. He was the attendant that used to always make sure that we had what I liked most to eat. Had he been watching over me for the past year? The thought was oddly comforting.

So when he offered his comfort, real comfort for the first time, I was more than happy to take it. I wrapped my arms tightly around his neck as he gently rested his hands in the middle of my back. It was something that a friend would do. Respectful but intimate enough to showcase that we were friends. Was it even possible that he was one of my Sponsors? No. He wouldn't have been wealthy enough. But this was almost better than having a Sponsor. He pulled me in close and placed his chin on my head. The hug felt so good after being alone for so long. For once I didn't have to be the strong one.

For Clio, for this one moment, I could be weak. Immediately I knew I would not be the first to let go. And why should I? We were friends. Not even that much. Cato would have understood. He knew that I was in love with him and he knew that I just needed comfort for this one moment. As for Gale, I would never see him again, that was for certain. Nothing I did now could hurt him. He wouldn't see it. That, at least, was one weight off my shoulders. The arrival of another Capitol attendant with the warm milk was what broke us apart. He set a tray with a steaming ceramic jug and two mugs on a table.

"I brought an extra cup," he said, eyeing Clio.

"Thanks," I said.

"I'll be back in soon," Clio said.

"No problem. And I added a touch of honey to the milk. For sweetness. And just a pinch of spice," the attendant added.

He looked at us like he wanted to say more, then gave his head a slight shake and backed out of the room. "What's with him?" I asked.

"He feels bad for you. We all do. No one wanted to see you back here," Clio explained.

"Right," I said, pouring the milk.

"I mean it. I don't think the people in the Capitol are really going to be all that happy about you going back in. You and Cato particularly. Or the other Victors. They get attached to their champions," Clio said.

"They?" I asked.

"I'm an attendant. I see these kids. I don't like watching them die," he said.

"A Capitol man that doesn't like the Hunger Games," I muttered.

"We're not all the same," Clio said.

"I'm guessing that the rest of you will get over it once the blood starts flowing," I said flatly.

Really, if there was one thing that I didn't have time for, it was worrying about how the Quarter Quell would affect the mood in the Capitol. "Don't be so sure about that. Like I said, we're not all the same," Clio said stubbornly. I didn't respond. "So, you're watching all the tapes?"

"Not really. I just came out here and they were playing. Right now I was thinking about sort of skipping around to see people's different fighting techniques," I said.

"Who's next?" Clio asked.

"Don't you have a job?" I asked.

"My job is to take care of the Tributes. That's what I'm doing," Clio said. It made me snort. "I'll help you out. You pick."

He was now holding out the box. I didn't really want to start watching the Reapings and Games alone so I figured that I would take the comfort that Clio was offering me. Although it was a little strange to watch the Hunger Games with someone from the Capitol. Someone that served the Tributes. The tapes were marked with the year of the Games and the name of the Victor. I dug around and suddenly found one in my hand that Katniss and I had not watched. The year of the Games was Fifty. That would make it the second Quarter Quell. And the name of the Victor was Haymitch Abernathy.

"I never watched this one," I said.

Clio started to shake his head. "No. I would doubt that you would. Looking at Haymitch, I could assume that he wouldn't want to. The same way I assume that you didn't want to relive your own Games," Clio reasoned.

"Yes. You're right. Since we were all on the same team, we didn't think that it mattered much."

"Is the person who won in twenty-five in here?" Clio asked.

"I don't think so. Whoever it was must be dead by now, and Effie only sent us Victors that we might have to face. I think that I should watch it. It's the only Quarter Quell Games that we have. I might be able to pick up something valuable about the way that they work," I said.

For a moment I just stared at the Games. I was flipping it back and forth in my hand. I knew just a little bit. He was good with knives but had won with the force field. And I knew that there were forty-eight competitors that year. It was all that I knew. Haymitch never wanted to watch it and we had never pushed to watch it. I knew that I should, but it felt weird. It seemed like some major invasion of Haymitch's privacy. I didn't know why it should, since the whole thing was public. But it did. Although I had to admit that I was also extremely curious.

"You don't have to tell Haymitch you saw it," Clio said.

"Okay," I agreed.

Clio put in the tape and I curled up next to him on the couch with my milk, which was really delicious with the honey and spices, and lost myself in the Fiftieth Hunger Games. After the anthem, they showed President Snow drawing the envelope for the second Quarter Quell. He looked younger but just as repellent. He read from the square of paper in the same onerous voice he used for ours, informing Panem that in honor of the Quarter Quell, there would be twice the number of Tributes. The editors smash cut right into the Reapings, where name after name after name was called.

By the time we got to District 12, I was completely overwhelmed by the sheer number of kids going to certain death. There was a woman, not Effie, calling the names, but she still began with, "Ladies first!" She called out the name of a girl who was from the Seam, you could tell by the look of her, and then I heard the name, "Maysilee Donner."

"Oh! She was my mother's friend," I said.

"The Everdeen woman?" Clio asked.

"Yes," I said awkwardly. The camera found her in the crowd, clinging to two other girls. All blonde. All definitely merchants' kids. It was just chance that my family - while being from the Seam - were blonde. "I think that's my mother hugging her."

The longer that I looked, the more that I realized that I was right. As Maysilee Donner bravely disengaged herself and headed for the stage, I caught a glimpse of Ms. Everdeen just a bit younger than me. No one had exaggerated her beauty. It turned out that my own mother was also hugging her. I was now almost four years older than her in the video. A full year older than she ever got to be. Holding her hand and weeping was another girl who looked just like Maysilee. But a lot like someone else I knew, too.

"Madge," I whispered.

"Who?" Clio asked.

"The girl who gave me the Mockingjay pin. That must her mother. She and Maysilee were twins or something. Peeta's dad mentioned it once to me when I was working at the bakery."

Madge's mother. Mayor Undersee's wife. Who spent half her life in bed immobilized with terrible pain to shut out the world. I thought of how I never realized that she and my mother and Ms. Everdeen sharing that connection. Of Madge showing up in that snowstorm to bring the painkiller for Gale. Of my Mockingjay pin and how it meant something completely different now that I knew that its former owner was Madge's aunt, Maysilee Donner, a Tribute who was murdered in the arena.

When Haymitch's name was called last of all I tried to look around for my father. But he would have been a much younger kid and he was hard to find in the larger crowd of boys than the smaller crowd of girls. Obviously he and Haymitch were not friends before the Reaping. It was more of a shock to see him than Ms. Everdeen and my mother. He was young. Strong. Hard to admit, but he was something of a looker. His hair was still light and curly, those gray Seam eyes bright and, even then, dangerous.

"Oh. Clio, you don't think he killed Maysilee, do you?" I burst out. I didn't know why, but I couldn't stand the thought.

"They don't play the second Quarter Quell much in the Capitol. From what I remember, he didn't. But I'm not quite sure. With forty-eight players though? I'd say the odds are against it," Clio said.

"Why don't they play the second Quarter Quell much?" I asked.

"I don't know. Keep watching. You might find out."

The chariot rides - in which the District 12 kids were dressed in awful coal miners' outfits - and the Interviews flashed by. There was little time to focus on anyone since there were so many kids. But since Haymitch was going to be the Victor, we got to see one full exchange between him and Caesar Flickerman, who looked exactly as he always did in his twinkling midnight blue suit. Only his dark green hair, eyelids, and lips were different.

"So, Haymitch, what do you think of the Games having one hundred percent more competitors than usual?" Caesar asked.

Haymitch shrugged nonchalantly. "I don't see that it makes much difference. They'll still be one hundred percent as stupid as usual, so I figure my odds will be roughly the same," he said.

The audience burst out laughing and Haymitch gave them a half smile. It was enough to make both Clio and I snort with amusement. It was the first time that I had ever really heard Haymitch speak with that much confidence. Normally he was annoyed and just wanted to be left alone to drink himself to death. This Haymitch was very different. Snarky. Arrogant. Indifferent.

"He didn't have to reach far for that, did he?" I asked, laughing.

"I suppose not. I've known Haymitch for a few years," Clio said.

Now it was the morning that the Games began. We watched from the point of view of one of the Tributes as she rose up through the tube from the Launch Room and into the arena. I couldn't help but to give a slight gasp. Disbelief was reflected on the faces of the players. Each and every one of them. The Careers all looked shocked. Even Haymitch's eyebrows lifted in pleasure, although they almost immediately knitted themselves back into a scowl.

It was the most breathtaking place imaginable. The golden Cornucopia sat in the middle of a green meadow with patches of gorgeous flowers. The sky was azure blue with puffy white clouds. Bright songbirds fluttered overhead. By the way some of the Tributes were sniffing, it must have smelled fantastic. An aerial shot showed that the meadow stretched for miles. Far in the distance, in one direction, there seemed to be a woods, and in the other, a snow-capped mountain.

The beauty disoriented many of the players, because when the gong sounded, most of them seemed like they were trying to wake from a dream. Only about half of the Careers managed to force themselves into moving from their plates. Not Haymitch, though. He was at the Cornucopia, armed with weapons and a backpack of choice supplies. He headed for the woods before most of the others had stepped off of their plates.

Eighteen Tributes were killed in the Bloodbath on that first day. Others began to die off quickly and it became clear that almost everything in that pretty place - the luscious fruit dangling from the bushes, the water in the crystalline streams, and even the scent of the flowers when inhaled too directly - was deadly poisonous. Only the rainwater and the food provided at the Cornucopia were safe to consume. There was also a large, well-stocked Career pack of ten Tributes who were scouring the mountain area for victims.

Haymitch had his own troubles over in the woods. It seemed that the Tributes weren't the main issue in the Games. The big problem was everything that was happening in the arena. The fluffy golden squirrels turned out to be carnivorous and attacked in packs, and the butterfly stings brought completely agony if not death. He was attacked by everything at least once but managed himself well enough. But he persisted in moving forward, always keeping the distant mountain at his back.

Maysilee Donner turned out to be pretty resourceful herself, for a girl who left the Cornucopia with only a small backpack. She didn't move as fast as Haymitch but she managed to outrun the Careers. Inside of her pack she found a bowl, some dried beef, and a blowgun with two dozen darts. Making use of the readily available poisons, she soon turned the blowgun into a deadly weapon by dipping the darts in lethal substances and directing them into her opponents' flesh.

It was rather impressive the way that everyone was managing to keep themselves safe in the nightmare of the arena. Four days in, the picturesque mountain erupted in a volcano that wiped out another dozen players, including all but five of the Career pack. Cato's family must have been furious when they saw. It ended up killing all but one of the District 2 Tributes. With the mountain spewing liquid fire, and the meadow offering no means of concealment, the remaining thirteen Tributes - including Haymitch and Maysilee - had no choice but to confine themselves to the woods.

Haymitch seemed bent on continuing in the same direction, away from the now volcanic mountain, but a maze of tightly woven hedges forced him to circle back into the center of the woods, where he encountered three of the Careers - including the remaining District 2 Tribute - and pulled his knife. They may have been much bigger and stronger, but Haymitch had remarkable speed and had killed two when the third disarmed him. The last remaining boy from District 2. That Career was about to slit his throat when a dart dropped him to the ground.

Maysilee Donner stepped out of the woods. "We'd live longer with two of us," she said.

"Guess you just proved that," Haymitch said, rubbing his neck. "Allies?" Maysilee nodded.

And there they were, instantly drawn into one of those pacts you would be hard-pressed to break if you ever expected to go home and face your District. Just like Cato and me, they ended up doing better together. Get more rest, work out a system to salvage more rainwater, fight as a team, and share the food from the dead Tributes' packs. But Haymitch was still determined to keep moving on.

"Why?" Maysilee kept asking, and he ignored her until she refused to move any farther without an answer.

"Because it has to end somewhere, right? The arena can't go on forever," Haymitch said.

"What do you expect to find?" Maysilee asked.

"I don't know. But maybe there's something we can use," he said.

When they finally did finally make it through that impossible hedge, using a blowtorch from one of the dead Careers' packs, which I was very impressed with, they found themselves on flat, dry earth that led to a cliff. It was certainly the furthest that anyone could go without climbing down, which looked to be almost impossible. Far below, you could see jagged rocks.

"That's all there is, Haymitch. Let's go back," Maysilee said.

"No, I'm staying here," he said.

"All right. There's only five of us left. May as well say goodbye now, anyway. I don't want it to come down to you and me," Maysilee said.

"Okay," he agreed.

That was all. He didn't offer to shake her hand or even look at her. And she walked away. That was the way that most Tributes ended alliances that didn't end in fights. Maysilee went off into the woods before the cameras cut away from her. It was looking more and more likely that Haymitch was going to be the one to end up killing her.

Haymitch skirted along the edge of the cliff as if trying to figure something out. His foot dislodged a pebble and it fell into the abyss, apparently gone forever. But a minute later, as he sat to rest, the pebble shot back up beside him. Haymitch stared at it, puzzled, and then his face took on a strange intensity. He lobbed a rock the size of his fist over the cliff and waited. When it flew back out and right into his hand, he started laughing.

That was when we heard Maysilee begin to scream. The alliance was over and she broke it off, so no one could blame him for ignoring her. But Haymitch ran for her, anyway. He arrived only in time to watch the last of a flock of candy pink birds, equipped with long, thin beaks, skewer her through the neck. I gasped softly. It was like the way that I had killed Corra. He held her hand while she died, and all I could think of was Rue and how I was too late to save her, too.

Later that day, another Tribute was killed in combat and a third got eaten by a pack of those fluffy squirrels, leaving Haymitch and a girl from District 1 to vie for the crown. She was bigger than he was and just as fast, and when the inevitable fight came, it was bloody and awful and sickening and both had received what could well be fatal wounds, when Haymitch was finally disarmed. He staggered through the beautiful woods, holding his intestines in, while she stumbled after him, carrying the ax that should deliver his deathblow. Haymitch made a beeline for his cliff and had just reached the edge when she threw the ax.

He collapsed on the ground and it flew into the abyss. Now weaponless as well, the girl just stood there, trying to staunch the flow of blood pouring from her empty eye socket. She was thinking perhaps that she could outlast Haymitch, who was starting to convulse on the ground. But what she didn't know, and what he did, was that the ax would return. And when it flew back over the ledge, it buried itself in her head. The cannon sounded, her body was removed, and the trumpets blew to announce Haymitch's victory. Clio clicked off the tape and we sat there in silence for a while.

Finally I said, "That force field at the bottom of the cliff, it was like the one on the roof of the Training Center. The one that throws you back if you try to jump off and commit suicide. Haymitch found a way to turn it into a weapon."

"There's one of the roof of the Training Center?" Clio asked.

"Yes. To keep from killing ourselves. He used it as a weapon. Not just against the other Tributes, but the Capitol, too. You know they didn't expect that to happen. It wasn't meant to be part of the arena. They never planned on anyone using it as a weapon. It made them look stupid that he figured it out. I bet they had a good time trying to spin that one. Bet that's why I don't remember seeing it on television. It's almost as bad as us and the knives!" I said.

Clio watched as I threw my head back. I knew that Haymitch had used the force field during his Games, but I had thought that he had forced someone to accidentally run into it and electrocute themselves. Not something like that. So I couldn't help but to laugh, really laugh, for the first time in months. Clio just shook his head like I had lost my mind - and maybe I had, a little. Maybe I had lost my mind a long time ago.

"Almost, but not quite," Haymitch said from behind us.

His voice startled the life out of me. I hadn't known that he would be around. I had thought that he was asleep in his room. Or trying to drown himself in his shower. I whipped around, afraid he was going to be angry over me watching his tape with someone I barely knew, but he just smirked and took a swig from a bottle of wine. So much for sobriety. I guessed that I should be upset that he was drinking again, but I was preoccupied with another feeling.

I had spent all of these weeks getting to know who my competitors were, without even thinking about who my teammates were. Now a new kind of confidence was lighting up inside of me, because I thought that I finally knew who Haymitch was. And I was beginning to finally know who I was. And surely, two people who had caused the Capitol so much trouble over the years could think of a way to get Cato home alive.

Haymitch turned and walked out of the room. "You should go to bed. We'll be at the Capitol soon," Clio said.

"Okay. Will I see you again?"

"In the morning, perhaps."

"Thank you for everything, Clio."

"You're very welcome, Aspen. Have a nice night."

"You too."

The two of us exchanged another hug before I turned, handing him my cup of milk, and headed back to my bedroom. To my shock, when I walked into the room, I wasn't alone. There was a woman in the room and I let out a little squeak when I saw her. _That was embarrassing_. I was about to ask her who she was when I realized that she was wearing a dark red uniform. She was an Avox. One of Snow's servants that had had their tongues cut out. I couldn't help but to wonder what she had done. She motioned to a letter on my bed and I nodded, seeing that it was addressed to me.

"Oh, thank you very much. Did someone send this to me?" I asked. She nodded. "Someone from the Capitol?" She nodded again, keeping her eyes away from me. "How the hell did they get this on the train?" Her eyes shot up to me. My face turned a bright red and I realized what an ass I had just sounded like. "Sorry, I, uh - thank you. You may leave, I don't need anything else."

It was a little hard to remember that Avox's weren't the same as the others, like Clio, on the train. I felt incredibly stupid as she nodded, leaving the room. Heading over to the bed, I dropped down and opened it. The name printed across the top of the paper nearly made me throw up. It was from Seneca Crane. What the hell did he want? Me? Hopefully that was all over. Slowly I opened the bottom half of the letter and began to read it.

 _Aspen,_

 _I believe you at least know a little bit of what is happening now. At least more than you did know a few months ago. When I tried to warn you about what was happening. Right now you are on your way to the Capitol, where you will be one of the twenty-four returning Victors, now once more a Tribute. I have known this for almost six months. This is not the way that these Games were supposed to go. I am not sure what the original twist on the Quarter Quell was, but I know that it was not this._

 _There are things that you must know. The first thing that you must know is that I am sorry. For everything that has happened to you and for everything that will continue to happen to you. I am also sorry for everything that has happened between us. And I mean that. You should know that much. Recently I have seen the errors of my ways. You can thank one of your friends for that. What we were supposed to be is no longer. Now I would like for us to be friends. We need to be friends. For your sake and for mine._

 _I am not the man that I was a year ago very much in the same way that you are not the woman that you were a year ago. We need to be friends, Aspen. It will mean that the both of us get to live just a little longer. Something that might not happen otherwise. There are so many things that I wish that I could tell you right now. I want you to know that you are brave. So brave. Perhaps that is why I was so attracted to you in the first place._

 _But your heart lies with another man and I would like to help you on that front. Believe it or not, your happiness does mean something to me. There are things that I know. About the arena and about the things that will come beforehand and afterwards. I can only tell you some of them but I do wish to tell you what I can._

 _If you can find it within yourself to face me, please meet me on your little rooftop garden after the Tribute Parade tomorrow night. I promise you will not regret it._

 _Best of luck, Aspen. You will need it. We all will._

 _Seneca Crane._

My face was stark white as I read over the letter again. There was a twist that had been something other than this. I knew that this was too convenient to just be a coincidence. And he was sorry? Seneca Crane was actually sorry for what he had done to me? I couldn't believe that this was really from him but I knew the writing. I'd seen his before. And I knew that this was really from his. Did he actually mean what he was saying? Did he mean that he wanted to tell me about things that were going to be happening during the Games? That was illegal. But if we could get around it without people knowing, it would put me at a huge advantage.

He had called me brave too. I would have thought that he thought that I was a coward for the way that I had acted around him a few times. But I was no longer his slave. Never again. Taking a deep breath, I folded his letter back up and placed it in the dresser, falling back onto the bed. Would I really go meet him on the rooftop tomorrow? I had to. I had to know what was going on with the arena. I had to do it for Cato. I had to make sure that he knew what was going to come to us in the arena. Everything that I was going to do was for Cato. Even if it meant to befriend the man that I trusted least in this world.

 **A/N:** Here's another fully edited chapter. **Let me know what you think!** Until next time- A


	10. Chapter 10

Sunlight was pouring in through the glass windows that surrounded my room on the Capitol-bound train and I groaned, rolling my eyes. It was too damn early to be waking up like this and I wasn't feeling up to having to deal with the public. Of which there would be lots. I would be on the platform and entering the Capitol within the hour. Thankfully I didn't have to talk to them. But there was the unfortunate fact that they did have to see me. Not just me. Everyone.

Haymitch, Gloss, Cashmere, Enobaria, Finnick, and even Cato. I hated the fact that I would have to see him again today. Not that I didn't want to see him. I just wasn't looking forward to seeing him, knowing that in a few days I would have to make the choice over whether to kill him or let him live. I knew that I would let him live, but I hated thinking that my life would be ending in a few days. It could have been worse though. I kept reminding myself of that. I had gotten an extra year than I should have. I knew that I should have died during the Games last year.

Yawning loudly I rolled over myself and nearly flopped out of the bed. Jumping back slightly, I flipped over onto my back and stared up at the ceiling. Today would be the day that was going to start out the last few days of my life. Today I was going to have to be a part of the Tribute Parade. Again. Today I would have to once more have to charm the Capitol and pretend that I didn't wish that they would burn for everything that they had done to me. As infuriating as that thought was to me, I knew that they would be the ones to save me if anything went wrong during the Games.

They were the ones that were going to help me help Cato when something happened in the arena. If watching Haymitch's Games had taught me one thing, it was that the Tributes weren't the main threats in the Quarter Quells. It was the arena. Although this year, with some of the best Victors being the Tributes, the Tributes would pose another big problem. Everything would be a problem this year. The only thing that I could hope was to get something out of Seneca Crane. I intended to use him as much as possible. And it started with meeting him on the rooftop garden tonight.

Outside of my door I could hear footsteps passing by. I figured that they were the Avox's, or maybe the attendants, like Clio. From what I could tell, there weren't as many as there had been in past years. The thought unnerved me. Everything that would normally be happening during the Games was not. Instead of parties and celebrations, there was added security. I jumped slightly as the door to my room slid open and Haymitch walked through. He gave me a small smile and I rolled my eyes. I was not in the mood to deal with him today. I didn't want to hear his backhanded compliments or anything.

"Good morning, sweetheart," Haymitch called, with a twisted grin.

"Morning, Haymitch," I said into my pillow.

Despite wanting to lay down, I managed to push myself up on the pillows. "It's hard to tell if I've ever seen you more thrilled than you are now," Haymitch added with a little laugh.

"I'm thrilled."

"You look hungover."

"Funny. I was about to say the same thing."

Haymitch scowled at me. Pushing the hair back off of my face, I stood from the bed and yawned again. Maybe it was earlier than I had thought that it was. It wasn't like I had slept very well last night. My dreams were plagued with nightmares of everything that I could imagine would go wrong during the Games. I had thought about the multiple ways that I would be torn apart by mutts, people betraying Cato and me, and that wasn't to mention the endless ways that Cato would die. The thought chilled me to the bones. Shaking my head clear of the nightmares, I turned to look over at Haymitch.

"We won't be in the Capitol for at least another two hours. Maybe one," I said, unsure of the time.

"You can read a clock," Haymitch said dryly.

"I hate you."

"The feeling's mutual."

"What the hell are you doing here? Can't you let me sleep in a bed for one of the last few chances that I'm going to get?" I asked him, snapping slightly.

Instead of getting angry like I had thought that he would, he merely rolled his eyes. "I would if I could, but we have a lot of preparation for you to do in order to die," Haymitch said.

"Joy," I said, rolling my eyes. I knew that he thought that me choosing to die for Cato was stupid, but it didn't matter. I knew that what I was doing was the right thing.

"Still going to die for him?" Haymitch asked.

"Yes. Still think I'm stupid for it?"

"Yes." Immediately I rolled my eyes at him. "Don't roll your eyes at me. You asked for this the minute that you said 'I volunteer'," Haymitch said.

My blood boiled. "I know," I snapped.

All I wanted to do was chuck a high heel through his big fat head. He made me so angry. Haymitch couldn't have really been thick enough to think that I would ever risk letting Prim come into the Games. That was exactly why I had done what I had done for her a year ago. I knew for a fact, and so did he, that she would have died during the Bloodbath unless she had run. And then she would have been hunted down. It put my nerves on end to think that it probably would have been Cato to kill her.

"Do you think that I would have said that had I been given any other choice? It was the only option that I had you fool," I hissed.

He merely rolled his eyes at me. "Could have let her sister do it," Haymitch said.

"You hate Katniss even more than me."

"Depends on the day."

"She would have been worse."

"I really highly doubt that. You are a pain in my ass."

I couldn't help but to wonder if we would bicker like this once we got into the arena too. "Shut up. I'm sure that you would have done it for someone that you loved too," I said.

For a moment I thought that I saw a brief flicker of hurt. But faster than I had seen it, his condescending smile had come back. "I wasn't stupid enough to say it," Haymitch said.

"And yet look where we both are," I said.

"Get up," Haymitch barked.

"Get out. Let me get ready," I said, moving to push him out of the room.

Haymitch ignored me and pushed me back instead. I raised my eyebrow and placed my hands on my hips, waiting for him to get out of my room. "Don't worry about it. Just come out here, get some food and we'll talk," Haymitch said.

"I'm not listening to Effie complain at me that I'm not wearing real clothes and didn't even take the time to brush my hair or clean my teeth," I said.

There was also the problem of me going out in front of people like this. "Cinna will get you ready when we get there. Your Prep Team will be waiting for you just like they were last year," Haymitch said.

"And as for the walk up?" I asked.

"Don't worry about it," Haymitch said.

Would no one be there? Either way, it meant that I would have no chance to think until after the Tribute Parade. That also meant that there was no way that I would see Cato until after the Tribute Parade. But maybe if I screamed loudly enough when they waxed me, Cato would get dragged in by his Stylist again. It was strange. One year ago I was terrified to ever meet the blonde-haired District 2 Tribute, but now I couldn't wait to see him. I guessed things changed faster than I thought that they did.

"I guess that means that I won't get to see Cato, or anyone else for that matter, until we're on the chariots at the Tribute Parade?" I asked Haymitch, just to be sure.

He nodded at me. I had to have some hope, right? "Pretty much. I would assume that you would have known that though," Haymitch said.

"No. I figured. I just wanted to be hopeful," I said.

"President Snow wants to keep the Victors as far away from each other as he can. Wants to make sure that there's no chance of us getting together and forming one huge alliance," Haymitch said. I couldn't help but to laugh. What a stupid thought. We all just wanted to go home and get this over with. No one was willing to make a scene this time. "Don't laugh, it could happen with you."

"What's that supposed to mean?"

"You know what it means."

"They'll be fine once we get into the arena. Everyone will start fighting until only one of us is left," I growled.

"Don't bet on that. A lot of us are friends," Haymitch said.

"That doesn't matter."

"It might."

Was there a chance that it would actually matter? No. I couldn't imagine that it would ever matter. We could be as friendly as we wanted in the days leading up to the Games but I knew that everyone would manage to fight each other when the gong sounded. I found myself quickly sobering up at Haymitch's words though. He was right. I was the reason that people were rising up all over Panem. If there was any chance of the Victors getting together and forming a real rebellion, it was because of me.

"He also wants there to be some raw emotion when you and Cato see each other for the first time," Haymitch continued.

"Like the recaps," I said.

"Exactly."

"So that means the first time that we see each other will be when the rest of Panem sees us."

"That's right."

"Wonderful."

"Remember that you have to act. I'm sure that all eyes will be on the two of you," Haymitch said.

"Of course."

It didn't surprise me that all eyes would be on us. Just the way that they had been during the first Tribute Parade. On me, at least. That meant that I would have to play up our relationship as much as I could. Not that I wouldn't. I really was thrilled to see Cato one more time. The only issue was that we would be in separate chariots. But we could figure it out. I moved over to the mirror and patted my hair down a little, just to make sure that it wasn't sticking up all of the way.

"So that means that you have to smile!" Effie chirped in the doorway.

"Always," I groaned.

While I knew that she wasn't watching, I rolled my eyes at her. She had a bright smile on her face and I giggled slightly at her outfit. Butterflies were all over her and she was clad in a horrid yellow dress. Distracting me from my thoughts about how Effie could think that her outfit was considered fashionable, Haymitch moved over to Effie and began to push her out of the room a little. But Effie wasn't one to ever be pushed out of a conversation when it came to making me look presentable. Haymitch finally gave up on trying to get her out of the room, and instead settled on verbally berating her.

"No, maybe not this year," Haymitch said, catching my attention.

"What?" I asked.

"She doesn't have to win the people over. She already has their hearts. This year it's about making herself look like a real competitor. Not like some little shrimp," Haymitch told her.

I scoffed loud enough for him to hear. I wasn't just some damn shrimp. I wasn't that tall, but I could kill most of the Tributes this year, at least I hoped I could. "I'm not a shrimp," I said.

"Well you're certainly not a fully-grown adult," Haymitch said.

"You're hilarious."

"You have to make sure that you stand out against the older Victors," Haymitch clarified.

"Well she can still smile," Effie told him.

Of course Effie was the one that thought that I needed to charm everyone and constantly look dressed like royalty. "We'll see what Cinna wants," Haymitch said.

"Oh, Aspen, dear. What are you doing?" Effie asked, looking at me like she had just now spotted me for the first time.

"Clothing," I said.

"You need to get changed! Brush your hair and teeth too," Effie added.

It wasn't like I looked that bad. I just looked like I had rolled out of bed. Which I had. So I scoffed at her, looking down at my outfit. I was still wearing pajamas, but they didn't really look like it. I was wearing a pair of white shorts with a black shirt that flowed slightly. I could have looked worse but I could have looked much better too. I didn't look at all ready to be in front of cameras.

"Can't have you looking the same way that you did last year when you came in for the first time," Effie said.

There was a little flash of hurt. I hadn't looked that bad last year, had I? Plus, I had been coming from the poorest District and I had no money. "I did not look that bad," I muttered.

"Well you certainly didn't look like this!" Effie chirped, smiling at me.

"That was the way that I wanted it," I growled.

Of course, Effie and everyone else from the Capitol never thought about things like that. They just felt like everyone should look the same way that they did. They thought that I wanted to dress like they did. Which was so far from the truth. It made me slightly angry that Capitol people didn't have any cares in the world, but it didn't matter. In a few days I would never have to deal with them again.

"What was wrong with my teeth?" I asked softly, as Effie and Haymitch moved over to the door.

Of all the things that I knew were wrong with me the last time that I had come to the Capitol, I was pretty sure that there was nothing wrong with my teeth. Before Effie could pipe up about whatever was wrong about my teeth, Haymitch spoke up.

"Don't worry about it, either of you. No cameras are allowed in the Tribute areas this year," Haymitch said.

There weren't to be any cameras this year? They always wanted cameras. The Capitol wanted people to follow every moment of their precious Tributes lives. "No cameras?" I asked.

"None," Haymitch said.

"Why not? Don't the Capitol people want to see it?" I asked.

"Of course. But it's being designated as more secretive. Building up the excitement," Haymitch said.

"Now what's the real reason?" I asked.

"It's different. Everything this year is going to be different. To the people, it will be like one grand celebration. No expense spared, the most high tech weapons and training facilities, costumes that cost more than entire Districts," Haymitch added.

"Most of their average dinners cost more than the entire Districts," I said.

Of course they would make sure that everything cost as much as possible. They didn't care that it was the District people that were paying for it. "But that's not what we're going to see. You're going to see what it really is, a mass execution. Peacekeepers will be lining every area and watching with close eyes," Haymitch said.

"That much I figured, especially with me back here," I reasoned.

"Don't be surprised if they linger around you," Haymitch said.

"I won't."

"Anyways, no cameras will be out there. Let the girl stay in her pajamas. She deserves a little bit of comfort," Haymitch told Effie.

"Thanks," I said.

The room was silent for a moment before Effie finally nodded. The silence was somewhat awkward and I knew that everyone else felt it too. They felt the impending sense of doom. "And on that note, I think that it's time for breakfast!" Effie chirped happily.

"Oh, good. I'm starving," I said, thankful to her for getting us to leave the suddenly cramped confines of my room.

"Come now, everyone. I've made sure that the chefs prepared everything that they could make. And plenty of coffee too. It sure looks like the both of you could use it," Effie, said with a little reprimanding lilt to her voice.

Turning to look at her angrily, I scowled and looked back at the ground, wringing my hands together. "I wonder why that would be," I grumbled softly, knowing that Effie was close enough to me to hear it.

"Manners," Effie snapped.

It wasn't enough to stop Haymitch and me from laughing on our way out into the dining room. I could hear Haymitch laugh from behind us and I turned back to see him grabbing a glass from the bar as we walked past. Typical. It wasn't even noon and Haymitch was already grabbing himself a drink. Before he could take any of it though, Effie turned back and snatched the glass from his hand. He looked at her with a shocked face and I laughed again. Good on, Effie. But her glare effectively cut off my laughter.

Grabbing another glass off of the table, Haymitch went to filling it, making sure to keep this one out of Effie's reach. I rolled my eyes at the pair and took a seat at the breakfast table, watching as Haymitch and Effie followed and took their seats on opposite ends of the table.

"Anyways, Aspen lay off Effie," Haymitch said.

"But I didn't -"

Haymitch put his hand up, forcing me to stay silent. Effie was about to speak as well but Haymitch ended her chance to talk quickly. "Effie, don't talk. So let's get down to what we were talking about yesterday," Haymitch said.

I groaned loudly. Not the allies talk again. I was sick of this. "Can't we talk about that once we're actually there? Give me ten minutes to try and relax," I muttered.

"Grow up, girl! You're almost twenty!" Haymitch yelled.

I jumped at his voice. "We'll see if I actually make it there," I growled.

"Shut up! Sometimes you just have to suck it up and deal with it," Haymitch said.

Instead of speaking to him like the adult that I was, I settled for something a little more childish. Yelling at him. "I think out of any of us that are sitting here right now, I should know how to suck it up and just deal with it!" I shouted, startling the Avox's that were lined up behind the table. "That's what I've been doing for a year. I told you last night, I'm sure that some of these people would make good allies, but I can't trust any of them. You, me, Cato, and maybe Finnick."

"You're being an idiot."

"Manners!"

"Call me an idiot all you want. I'm right. That's it. I don't trust any of them and you know why," I snapped, hoping that my speech would put an end to this discussion.

Haymitch sighed loudly and for a moment I thought that it was a sigh of defeat. Of course, I should have known better than that. "Alright, before I was trying to be nice," Haymitch said.

I rolled my eyes. There were only a handful of times that I had ever seen Haymitch be nice and it was never here in the Capitol. "You are not nice," I mumbled.

"Now I'm going to have to push you, I see. Listen, sweetheart. Cato will not live more than a few days without any allies. Wanna know why?" Haymitch asked. I shook my head. I knew the answer and it wasn't something that I wanted to hear. I was trying to tune it out. "Because of you!"

"I know, Haymitch," I muttered.

"Calm down," Effie chided.

"They hate you and will do anything to hurt you. To hurt you would be to kill him. If I know that, then they know that. You wanna keep him safe, you make allies. People who can help protect him, if only for a few days," Haymitch said.

If anything, I was pretty sure that Haymitch was underestimating what Cato could do. Even if he wouldn't be teaming up with them, I knew that he was still a Career at heart. I knew that he was strong enough to protect himself. We all were. The younger ones, at least.

"You don't think that he can protect himself?" I asked Haymitch.

He scoffed at me and shook his head, downing the rest of the drink. Okay, so maybe I was the one that was leading him to drink. "Not with twenty some odd people trying to attack him," Haymitch said.

"Doesn't matter. I think we saw that he was very much capable of that during the first Games," I added on and Haymitch nodded.

Maybe I was making a good case here. Maybe he would leave me alone about the whole ally's situation. Of course, that would only be in an ideal world. "I think that if he were going in there alone, we would have nothing to worry about. The boy is strong and he has the motivation to get out of there," Haymitch said.

"I know. You're right," I said.

Cato would love to see his family again and forget about the Games. "I know that I'm right! But there's one thing now that hinders that. One thing that, for him, comes above all else," Haymitch said. I raised my eyebrows. "You."

I swallowed harshly. "That's what our whole point it. We're not letting that happen," I said.

"We're working on it. But he will, and is planning to, die for you," Haymitch said. He was right and I knew that. Just like I was planning to save Cato, he was planning to save me. "You need people to help make sure that he doesn't do something stupid. Now, are we willing to listen?"

For a moment I sat there and hoped that I was imagining this whole thing. As much as I wanted to take on some allies to make sure that Cato would be safe, I knew that I couldn't. Haymitch was right about many things. And one, in particular, was that these people wanted us dead. We couldn't trust them. But Haymitch was right too. He knew these people and he knew which ones we would be able to trust. And in the end, it wasn't really about trust. It was just about staying alive. After a long pause, I finally nodded.

"Yes," I said.

Haymitch sighed and nodded back to me. "Good," Haymitch said softly. I looked down to my plate, grabbing a small piece of fruit and chewing on it. "Let's see. Who do we have first?"

I watched as Effie pulled down the screen, turning on the monitor. "Didn't we just do this last night?" I asked.

"Shut up. You're taking this seriously this time. Find ones that you want. Ah. We have Gloss and Cashmere," Haymitch said, as two blonde haired people appeared on the screen.

They were both tall and looked like they were ready to kill. How unsurprising from District 1 Tributes. "We all know what a good history I have with District 1 Tributes," I muttered.

"Siblings that will make up the Career pack. They will be dangerous and they will want you dead. I promise you that. They won't hesitate to kill you the first chance that they get. No alliance with them. Not even if they ask you to. Stay the hell away from them," Haymitch instructed. "But it would do you well to be friendly with them in training."

"Why?" I asked.

"Don't make things worse."

From my history, I wasn't exactly the best with people from District 1. I knew that they weren't fond of me either. Not since I had accidentally killed one of their Tributes and had slaughtered the other one. They probably wanted nothing to do with me. I didn't even want to be near them in training, although I understood the point of not making things worse by completely ignoring them.

"I wasn't planning on getting anywhere near them, trust me. They remind me a little too much of a girl that wasn't fond of me in the slightest. In fact, they might still be a little bitter over her," I said softly, trying to get the picture of the bloated body of Glimmer out of my head. I hadn't liked her in the slightest, but it made my skin crawl when I thought about how it was me who had accidentally killed her.

Haymitch nodded and flipped to the next screen. "Good, I'm glad that you recognize that. Let's see, I think that you know who's next," Haymitch said.

There was no way that I would ever forget about either of them. They both looked exactly the way that they had the last time that I had seen them. Maybe a little angrier, but they looked essentially the same. "Of course. We know for a fact that Cato will be with us," I said.

"Predictably," Haymitch said.

"That means that we will have to make sure to try and keep an eye on each other during the Bloodbath."

But that was probably easier said than done. "We can try but it'll be tough. You'll have some of the strongest and smartest Victors up there," Haymitch said.

"If they're smart, they'll try and separate us. As for Enobaria, I'm not sure what to do about her," I said truthfully.

I liked her just fine but I wasn't sure if she was going to be willing to keep away from the Careers and I wasn't sure whether or not she would try to kill me. "We're going to see how things with Enobaria go," Haymitch said.

"She always seemed to be fond of Cato but would she be willing to leave the Careers for him?" I asked, hoping that Haymitch had an answer.

For a moment everyone was silent, but it wouldn't be long before he knew what to do. He finally sighed and glanced over to me with the shake of his head. "I wouldn't think too much into that right now," he told me.

"Okay," I said.

He was right. We had better things to be thinking about than worrying over one woman. "You're right that they will try and separate us. In the beginning Cato is the only one that you need to be looking out for," Haymitch said.

"He's fast. We'll be at the Cornucopia in no time," I said.

But, of course, I would fight to make it to Haymitch. He had done so much for me that I knew that there was no way that I could leave him in danger. "Enobaria will like the idea of the Careers, but I know that she hates Cashmere and Gloss. She won't want to be with them if it's just her. Plus she knows that they outnumber her," Haymitch said. Sounded like maybe we had a chance to get her. "For now, keep her in the back of your mind."

As much as I liked the idea of having a strong person with us, I knew that it wasn't worth it. There was a good chance that it would never work out. She was a good person, deep down I knew that, but there was a damn good chance that she would kill me the second that she got the chance. I knew that she would be angry with me for bringing her here. It wasn't worth it. She, like Brutus, still held a grudge against me, no matter what they said.

"No. Not her," I said.

"Aspen -"

"I like Enobaria, but she's a strong competitor. She likes Cato but she'd kill him in a minute if it meant that she got to live. She's a Career. We can't trust her. I can't trust her," I said softly.

Haymitch sighed at me but nodded anyways, knowing where I was coming from. "Alright, fine," Haymitch said.

We both stared forwards as he let the screen move to the next images. District 3. Beetee and Wiress. They were the ones that I was thinking about. An electrical trap. End the Games fast and, as much as I didn't like it, Cato and I could easily overpower them. Beetee would be useful and there had to be something that Wiress could do. They seemed like good, trustworthy people. They seemed like the type that would realize that this was the Capitol's fault and not mine. I could trust them to not kill me in my sleep.

"Next up we have the Tributes from District 3. We talked a little bit about them last night," Haymitch said.

Keeping my eyes focused on the round glasses that framed his face and the cropped hair that fell around hers, I almost smiled. They looked so normal. Nothing like people would expect a Victor to look like. "Beetee and Wiress," I said, noticing that Effie was giving me a strange look.

"You know them?" Effie asked.

"Heard of them. Right?" I asked her, making sure that I had heard the right names last night.

Before Effie could say something I heard Haymitch tell me that I was right. "Yes. Now I think that you should think a little bit about them," Haymitch said.

I wanted to hear what he had to say but I was already convinced that I wanted them. They were the exact types of people that I trusted and that I liked. "A little bit. I've seen them on the recaps of the older Games," I said.

"They might slow you down but they do have some benefits to them," Haymitch said. So maybe he did think that they would be good allies. "They're smart and I guarantee you that they will have the layout of the arena down before -"

Haymitch continued to talk but I had heard enough from him. I knew exactly what I wanted; people that I knew that I could trust. And that was Beetee and Wiress. "I want them," I cut Haymitch off, leaving no room for argument.

If I ever thought that I'd seen Haymitch look stunned, I was wrong before this. His jaw dropped slightly and he was looking at me like I had lost my mind. Even Effie looked a little surprised. Maybe it was because they thought for once that I was playing along. Or maybe they thought that my choice of allies were wrong. Even some of the attendants looked surprised. Clio walked into the room to set down a mug of hot chocolate and I noticed him grinning at me.

"Come again?" Haymitch finally asked me.

Narrowing my eyes at Haymitch, I stabbed a piece of chicken that was playing on my plate and shoveled it into my mouth. "You heard me. I want them with me," I said.

Haymitch opened his mouth to say something. "You should at least see the other ones in training and see what -"

I cut him off again. "You said that I would have to have some allies in these Games besides you and Cato, so those are the ones that I pick. They are both smart and kind. I doubt that either one of them would betray us. And if for some reason they tried, I would be able to overpower them," I reasoned, hoping that it would never come down to that. I didn't want to be the one to have to kill the District 3 Tributes. "You know it." He had to side with me this time.

Instead of denying me like I had thought that he would do Haymitch nodded, with a little bit of a sigh. "That's true, Aspen, but think a little bit about what you want to do," Haymitch said.

"I am thinking," I said, rolling my eyes.

I knew what this meant. He thought that they were bad choices. "You want to take on two of the weakest Tributes this year just because you like their personalities?" Haymitch asked.

I growled slightly, angry that he was trying to put a stop to them just because they weren't the strongest or fastest people in the world. "They won these Games once, Haymitch. We all have. No one here is worth underestimating," I told him.

"That is true," Haymitch said, knowing that I was making at least a tiny bit of a point.

"Besides, strength is fleeting but their brains are still here. They can help us think through our moves. We know that Cato, you, and me are all too brash," I said. Effie laughed, making both Haymitch and I turn angry glares on her. Like always, that immediately shut her up. "They can help level us out. This makes sense."

Haymitch nodded but rolled his eyes a little bit. I knew that he didn't like when I didn't want to listen to reason but it was too damn bad. I wanted them and nothing that he could do would change my mind. "Don't talk to them about it yet. Think about it a little bit. Watch them in training and then figure out whether or not you still like them enough to want to go into the Games besides them," Haymitch said.

That sounded at least fair. But I wanted them on my side. It was a good idea to have them. They were mentally strong and knew what they were talking about when it came to the arena, which would prove to be the real danger this year. But if it meant that I would keep Haymitch off of my back throughout training, I would agree to wait for now. It made sense too. I couldn't have anyone too weak with us. I had to make sure that they could hold their own at least walking around. I could protect them alright.

"Alright, fine," I said, before switching gears and thinking about District 4. Finnick and Mags. It was sure that I wanted them. Well, more that I wanted Finnick and that meant wanting Mags too. But I didn't mind having her. "So, District 4. I want them too."

Haymitch nodded and I smirked. That was easier than I had thought that it would be. ""I understand that. Finnick is your friend. He's a good ally to have. He'll be one of the strongest in the arena. He is strong and you know that he would help you if you were ever stuck in a situation. About time, good choice," Haymitch said.

I nodded with a proud smile. Haymitch always thought that my choices were absolute shit but I was glad that for once he could see things my way. "We'll help Mags out of the Bloodbath," I said.

Haymitch sighed. "Aspen -"

"I want Mags."

"Aspen -"

"I want her. So will Finnick. She's part of the deal. Move on. Who's next?" I asked.

Haymitch snarled at me. "Next up we have the Tributes from District 5. I don't know much about them but I do know that -"

Knowing that Haymitch was trying to get me to forget about Mags, I growled slightly and rolled my eyes. "No, to both of them," I hissed, trying to get us back on track.

I couldn't have cared less about the District 5 Tributes, but I did want Mags with me. "The girl is younger. She might be useful," Haymitch said.

"No."

"Fine," Haymitch conceded.

"I don't know about them but they don't look like people that I want. But what about Mags?" I asked, hearing Haymitch groan lightly. "Finnick is like her son. There is no way that he'll go somewhere without her, and I don't blame him. If we take on Finnick, Mags has to come too."

It seemed like he wanted to fight me on it, but knowing Haymitch and how stressed he was right now, he just wanted to avoid the fight. So he nodded at me, scoffing the whole time. "Fine. We get Finnick and with him comes Mags. Just know that she won't make it very long in these Games, Aspen. She's old and weak. She will only make it past the Bloodbath because of Finnick."

"I know that. But there's nothing wrong with giving her a chance," I said.

"Good. Glad we're on the same page. Now for the District 6 Tributes. They're called the Morphlings."

"Why?"

"Won their Games mostly with stealth. I would recommend you to stay away from them. They've been self-medicating for years and I'm sure that they won't know how to do anything other than hide. It'll be a good strategy for them, but not for a team."

"Okay."

"So that's a no for them?" Haymitch asked.

They sounded like they were completely inept. I was good enough at hiding. I didn't need someone that was a professional at it. "No," I said.

"On to District 7," Haymitch said.

"What about in District 7? I know that you mentioned both of them last night but what do you think? Should we take the risk with Johanna?" I asked, not really sure what answer it was that I wanted.

Haymitch shook his head and I nodded. I didn't think that he would approve of me trying to partner up with her, but I just wanted to make sure. "I don't think that I would. Johanna has never been a very level-headed person and if she gets in close proximity to you I would hate to see what she does. Stay away from her," Haymitch said.

That wasn't something that I needed to hear twice. I knew that she would be dangerous and I knew that she would be no fan of mine. "And for Blight?" I asked.

"That means Blight too. Wherever Johanna goes, he will follow. They aren't exactly friends but they're friendly," Haymitch said.

That was completely unsurprising. They didn't have to be friends but they were from each other's home and that meant that they had to have some connection. It was how I imagined that Cato was with Brutus. "They're from each other's homes. I get it. It's a piece of their old life with them," I said.

"But she'll be weak with Blight. He's a little careless," Haymitch said.

"We'll watch out for him then. So that's a no to the District 7 Tributes. How about District 8?" I asked, unsure of who they were.

Part of me figured that they would probably be a no, but I wanted to hear what Haymitch had to say anyways. "I wouldn't bet on either of them. Woof is very old, Aspen," Haymitch said.

"How old?" I asked.

"Seventy or so. He's getting senile. He's a good man with a good heart, but that won't get him to the end in these Games," Haymitch explained. He was right. Woof was old. He would only slow us down. "Cecilia was strong once and I'm willing to bet that she still is."

"So let's take her," I said.

"Hang on."

"I want her."

"Why?" Haymitch barked.

A brief hesitance. "She reminds me of my mother," I finally admitted.

"Aspen... You have to think about this seriously. No heart in this. Think like a Career. After three kids and years without practicing, she probably isn't any better than mediocre," Haymitch said.

My heart dropped. As much as I figured that the Victors had lives once they won, I had never really heard of it. I had never known a Victor to settle down and get married and have kids. It only hurt to know that because of something stupid that I had done, she now had to leave her three kids. Just like my parents had once left me. The thought made me feel indebted to her. In her Reaping I realized that she had to be pried away from three young children.

"She has kids?" I asked Haymitch weakly.

Naturally they were very young. "Yeah. She has three. I can't remember their names but they aren't very old. I think they're all still young enough to be in the running for the Hunger Games," Haymitch said. My heart twisted. I wished that they were older so that at least their mother wasn't leaving them while they still had the chance to go into the Games. "At least she got to spare them this year."

It was true. But it didn't make things any better. I shook my head at Haymitch and sank back into my chair, nudging a piece of corn around my plate. "Their mother is in here. Again," I hissed, knowing that I was unfairly taking my anger out on Haymitch. "That isn't sparing them, that's just making things worse. I'm going to say maybe to Cecilia. I want to see what she can do during training."

It left no room for argument. Haymitch sighed but nodded at me anyways, probably not wanting to make me feel bad about Cecilia. "Aspen, I know that you feel bad for her but this isn't the time to take people on board because you feel bad for them. Whether or not Cecilia is a good person, she will be blaming you for this. They all do," Haymitch said.

I already knew that. I wasn't sure if I wanted to keep hearing people drive that point home. I felt bad enough about this. "I know, but -"

"Unless her talents are as good as they used to be, I think that she's just one more person to worry about betraying you," Haymitch explained.

Wanting to get off of the topic of Cecelia and her kids, I nodded at him, letting him think that we were done with this for now. "We'll see. Some of these people might surprise you. They might not be as ruthless and heartless as you think they are," I said.

I hoped that he thought that I was telling the truth, but I wasn't sure that he really did believe me. "I know them, Aspen. They aren't heartless, but they are angry," Haymitch said.

"Yeah, yeah. Anyways, what about District 9?" I asked, hoping to shift the somber air to something a little lighter, if that was even possible.

Snorting slightly, I knew that Haymitch thought that District 9 wasn't the slightest problem. Of course, attitudes like that were what got people killed. "Nothing to worry about there, or District 10 for that matter. I don't remember who they are and no one else will either," Haymitch said.

It was a little cruel of him to say, but he was right. If they weren't special then no one would care about them. That was just the way that people in the Capitol were. The camera scanned over them and I looked over them. The woman was in her forties and looked strong enough, but not worthy of our alliance. The male was older too, but he seemed strong. My eyebrow quirked at him. The District 10 female was on the younger side. So was her District partner. They could be useful...

"What about the two from Ten? And the male from Nine?" I asked.

"Not worth it. They're both angry. Nine and Ten haven't been known to love Tributes from Twelve," Haymitch said.

"Enemies?" I asked.

"Maybe. Watch him," Haymitch said, pointing to the male from District 10. "There's no use in thinking about people who won't affect you one way or the other. Moving on, there's District 11. That's Seeder and Chaff."

They seemed so sweet but I wasn't sure if I wanted older people like that with me. I was taking on Mags because she would end up coming with Finnick. It was a good idea to have him and there was a chance that she might not even live through the Bloodbath. But Chaff had the missing arm and Seeder didn't seem very fast. They were both getting older.

"No," I said. Haymitch's eyebrows shot up. Clearly he was expecting the sympathy card from me on that one. "I'm sorry. I wish that I could say yes. I like them both and I respect what they've done but I can't. They're too old, they will just drag us down. And with Chaff's hand, he'll just be a burden on us."

"You're right," Haymitch said, his voice void of emotion.

"I wish them the best of luck though," I said softly.

Effie smiled and placed her hand over mine, rubbing the pad of her thumb across the back of my hand. I glanced up and smiled. For once she was being useful. "We know you do, dear. This is a hard choice. But it is one that you must make," Effie said.

"I know. I think I need to see them all in action," I said.

"Give it another day," Haymitch said.

"Not to worry. Things will work out in your favor. I just got my Victor back. I'm not losing her now," Effie said, with a little wink.

I laughed at her lightly and smiled. This was one of the few times that Effie knew the real gravity of a situation. It was nice to see that she really did know how bad that things were. "Thank you, Effie," I told her.

She smiled at me, laughing and nodding her head, her hair nearly going flying. "You are very welcome. Oh, we're here!" Effie called out.

My head turned back to look at the shimmering buildings of the Capitol. Like always, there were lights everywhere and the buildings towered over me, but something seemed different this time. It was just what Haymitch was talking about earlier. As we pulled into the station I noticed that no one was there. The loading bay was not decorated at all and there wasn't even a single camera. Even the streets seemed like they were empty. Although there were posters advertising the Quarter Quell hanging up all over the Capitol.

"Well, I never... I don't think I've ever seen it this dreary looking here in the Capitol. Someone will have to do something about this!" Effie chirped, clearly not pleased.

"We're prisoners, Effie," I said.

"No, you aren't."

Shaking my head at her, I sighed as we pulled into the station. There was no going back now. I was a Tribute in the Quarter Quell Games and it was my fault. "The celebration is only going to be where people can see it. If they can't see us, then it doesn't matter. Then they treat us like the prisoners that we are. This isn't about a fun Games this year. It's about destroying any thoughts about a revolution," I growled.

Honestly I was hoping that somewhere out here Capitol people were falling in their designer heels. Haymitch snorted at me and I glanced up. "Cheerful as ever," Haymitch said.

Yes. I was very charming. I watched as the door to the train slid open and we were allowed to walk off. Clio was standing at the doors and we gave each other a brief smile before I walked past. Maybe he would watch me die. Maybe he would be one of the few people that would be sad about it. As we walked I noticed that Peacekeepers were lining the train station and the thought made me nervous. They were here to kill us if they thought that there was even the slightest thought in our mind about doing something. Sighing I walked alongside both Haymitch and Effie, feeling like I was missing something.

The last time that I had come into this place, it had been with Cato. I missed him. I wished that he was with me right now. But my wish would be granted soon. He had probably gotten here not even an hour ago. I couldn't help but to wonder if he was thinking about me too. As we walked, I glanced up when the silence was broken by garbled speech and the sound of scraping and scratching heels. Well, I knew what that meant. Looking up from the ground I smiled as Flavius came running up to me. He still had the brilliant orange hair and his face was as pale as I had ever seen it.

"Oh, there you are. My goodness you look so lovely!" Flavius cried as he grabbed me, hugging me and laughing loudly. He ran his hands through my hair and I laughed. For once I actually didn't mind all of the attention. I had actually missed my Prep Team. "As good as we have ever seen you. Although it might not kill you to put a little smile on your face. You look so much better with one."

Figures they'd tell me something about smiling. "I'm working on it," I said.

Octavia ran up to me, her purple hair looking like it was weighing her down slightly. I could only imagine how much it weighed. "Oh, that's our girl!" Octavia cried, grabbing my arms, pulling me in for a hug. "You know, they used to talk about how we were so unfortunate, that the District 12 Tributes were always the worst and how they never knew anything about manners." _Come on, guys. Don't make me not miss you._ "Well, actually, the manners part might be true."

"Thank you, Octavia," I said, narrowing my eyes.

There they went. That was why people in the Districts hated the Capitol people. "But, regardless! We have the best Tribute that we could have ever asked for," Octavia said.

Maybe that made it a little better. "Thank you," I said sweetly.

Shoving Octavia out of the way, Venia came up and gave me a small kiss on the cheek. "And, Aspen, don't you worry about a thing. We've already had a chance to discuss with Cato's stylist, and he's been sure to make the two of you complement each other," Venia said.

I had been wondering if they were going to try and make us look like a team. "That's nice," I muttered.

"You might not be standing side by side during the Tribute Parade but we want people to know that the two of you are still the best team ever!" Venia cried. I smiled. We may make a good team but we were completely dysfunctional.

For whatever reason, probably that I was bitter about being back in the Capitol, I let out a biting comment. "Yes, it was Cato's outfit clashing with mine that I was so worried about," I said.

Effie looked like she might ring my neck and even Haymitch looked a little upset with me. "Manners," Effie hissed.

"I'm glad that you all thought about that ahead of time," I added on.

Haymitch shook his head. I thought that he might hit me. "Be nice," he hissed.

He walked behind me and headed to the other styling team. The one that had been Peeta's last year. The memory of Peeta walking through these halls with me caused a painful twist in my gut and I shook my head. I couldn't afford to think about him right now. I walked away from Haymitch and Effie and waved briefly at Portia. She had been one of the very nice people that I had met here in the Capitol. She reminded me a lot of Cinna. Just a little more excitable.

My team led me to the same area that I had been prepped in last year but it look them so much less time to get me ready than they had last year. They didn't really insult me either. Which was very nice. But it wasn't long before it ended up being even worse. Having been through prep with Flavius, Venia, and Octavia numerous times, it should have just been an old routine to survive. But I hadn't anticipated the emotional ordeal that awaited me once we were inside. At some point during the prep, each of them burst into tears at least twice, and Octavia pretty much kept up a running whimper throughout the morning.

It turned out they really had become attached to me, and the idea of my returning to the arena had undone them. Combine that with the fact that by losing me they would be losing their ticket to all kinds of big social events, particularly my wedding, and the whole thing became unbearable for them. The idea of being strong for someone else having never entered their heads, I found myself in the position of having to console them. Since I was the person going in to be slaughtered, that was somewhat annoying.

It was interesting, though, when I thought of what Clio said about the other attendant on the train being unhappy about the Victors having to fight again. About people in the Capitol not liking it. I still thought all of that would be forgotten once the gong sounded, but it was something of a revelation that those in the Capitol felt anything at all about us. They certainly didn't have a problem watching children murdered every year. But maybe they knew too much about the Victors, especially the ones who had been celebrities for ages, to forget we were human beings. It was more like watching your own friends die. More like the Games were for those of us in the Districts.

They gave me a good hose down and waxing. Naturally I still liked to cause a fuss over that. Once they had been sure to dry me off I watched as they sprayed a red glitter over me and sprayed it in my hair as well. Once they were done with that they went to my nails that were black with a little swirl of red diamonds in the center. It seemed like they were still going with the Girl on Fire theme. Not that I minded, I kind of liked it. Red and black seemed to work pretty well on me. It surprised me that my team bypassed my hair, instead leaving it down and sending me, blubbering the entire time, down the hallway to Cinna.

Trying to grin as I walked into the room that one of my best friends worked in, I shut the door softly behind me. The room hadn't changed other than a few posters that were up on the wall. I realized with a slight blush that they were all of me. One was of me burning in the Tribute Parade, another was of me walking into President Snow's party, one of me during the Interviews, and the last one was of me on the platform getting ready to head to the Cornucopia. I looked brutal. Turning away from the posters, I looked around for Cinna, who was nowhere to be found.

"Cinna?" I called softly.

A moment later I saw his dark hair appear from around the corner. By the time that Cinna had shown up, I was very irritable and exhausted from comforting the Prep Team over my impending death, especially because their constant tears were reminding me of the ones undoubtedly being shed at home. My home, Cato's, and everyone else's. We all had family who thought that we were safe. Standing there in my thin robe with my stinging skin and heart, I knew that I couldn't bear even one more look of regret.

So the moment that he walked in the door I snapped, "I swear if you cry, I'll kill you here and now."

Cinna just smiled. "Had a damp morning?" he asked.

"You could wring me out," I said.

Cinna put his arm around my shoulder and led me into lunch. "Don't worry. I always channel my emotions into my work. That way I don't hurt anyone but myself," Cinna explained.

"I can't go through that again," I warned him.

"I know. I'll talk to them," Cinna said.

Lunch made me feel a bit better. Pheasant with a selection of jewel-colored jellies, and tiny versions of real vegetables swimming in butter, and potatoes mashed with parsley. For dessert we dipped chunks of fruit in a pot of melted chocolate, and Cinna had to order a second pot because I started just eating the stuff with a spoon. By the time that I had completed the second pot I managed to feel a little bit happier, and this time, happier to actually see him.

So I leaned over and gave him a tight hug. "I've missed you so much. You have no idea. You know, I love Flavius, Venia, and Octavia but sometimes I think that I might kill them if they don't stop talking," I muttered, making Cinna laugh lightly.

He shook his head when my face turned slightly guilty. "We've all felt that way at one point or another," Cinna said. I giggled lightly. So maybe I wasn't the only one that ever got annoyed with the trio.

"So, what am I wearing for the opening ceremonies?" I finally asked as I scraped the second pot clean. "Headlamps or fire?"

I knew that the chariot ride would require Haymitch and me to be dressed in something coal related. "Something along that line," he said.

"As long as it's not coal dust," I teased.

"I'd say it's good to see you again, but it isn't. Not like this."

"No. It isn't. But I'm happy to see you anyways," I said.

"As am I. I would rather have never seen you again than have to see you back here. This isn't what any of us wanted for you," Cinna said, with a sad smile.

That was one of the things that I loved about Cinna. He always knew exactly what to say. Shaking my head at him, I allowed him to pull me over to the chair and start to get to work on my hair. I glanced up to the clock and raised my eyebrows. It was so late. It was already four and the Tribute Parade was set to start at seven. Maybe they wanted me to get as little of a chance as possible to talk with Cinna. Or maybe they were hoping for me to be half-done so I looked like an idiot.

"I know that. It's just that... this whole thing is my fault. All of it. If I hadn't tried to be the hero and save the both of us, no one would be here. At least, not like this. They wouldn't be Tributes again," I said.

Cinna sighed. I couldn't tell if he believed me or not. "That's not necessarily true," Cinna said.

"It is. This isn't the way that it was supposed to go. They were supposed to be the ones that were left alone to live out their lives in peace. Snow should have just executed me in public after the Games and gotten it over with. He never should have dragged the rest of us into it," I said, knowing that my attitude was affecting Cinna.

He began to tug on my hair a little tighter and his hands were a little shakier. Cinna looked at me in the mirror and I noticed that there was pain in his eyes. "There are lots of things that Snow should have never done. He shouldn't have created the Hunger Games. He shouldn't have destroyed hundreds of families. He shouldn't have forced people to do things that they never wanted to do. He shouldn't force people to live in segregation and starve to death. He shouldn't have done anything," Cinna said.

Cinna was right about that. "It's nice to actually hear someone else say it," I said.

"But there is nothing that you can do to change that now. The one thing that you can do now is what they've always wanted from you. They want you to be the Mockingjay," Cinna said.

I felt the hair on the back of my neck raise. Did they really all think that I could be the Mockingjay? "I can't be that," I muttered.

"Don't doubt yourself. Things are changing now. They will never be the same. This may have been started with you, but this has been a long time coming. Things are never going back to the way that they were. You have to make a choice now. You can step up, and be the person that I know you are. Or you can hide. Think about which one you want to be."

The room was silent after that, neither of us wanting to ruin the time that we had together. So instead we just sat in silence, giving each other the occasional smile and laugh. We both knew that things were going to change after tonight but it didn't matter. We could deal with everything that was going to happen in time. Right now I just wanted to focus on everything that was coming. The next week or so that we would be in the Capitol. Before we had to fight for our lives. Right now was almost peaceful.

When it was finally time to get in costume for the opening ceremonies, my Prep Team showed up but Cinna sent them away, saying that they had done such a spectacular job in the morning, that there was nothing left to do. Which I was very grateful for. I didn't want to hear them crying and weeping anymore and I really didn't want to have to comfort them over my impending doom. They went off to recover, sobbing the whole way, thankfully leaving me in Cinna's hands.

We were happy just sharing the small amount of time that we had together. I laughed as Cinna tugged on a piece of my hair and it fell from whatever kind of up-do that it was in. It seemed that Cinna was almost done as he forced me to close my eyes and I stepped into a dress. It wasn't very heavy but it was a slightly itchy material. Not that it was like I would be in it for a very long time. Cinna finally told me to open my eyes and I smiled as I stepped onto the platform and turned to the mirror.

Like always, his design was absolutely flawless. I just couldn't believe that Cinna could always make these incredible things that were better than anything that anyone in the Capitol could make. My appearance today was stunning. During the first Tribute Parade I looked a little like I normally did, so that people would be able to recognize me in the arena. Not this time. I smiled at my hair which was curled and fluffed up and dusted with the sparkling red powder. Some of it was pulled onto the top of my head but most of it was cascading over my shoulders and down my back.

My lips were painted a deep red and I smiled. It was the first time that Cinna had ever put real color on them. My cheeks were dusted with a light pink and my eyes were painted almost completely black. They were covered in black eye shadow and eyeliner, with a little dust of red over the top of them. There were also false eyelashes attached to mine, making them extend for a mile, the tips a light red. My shoes were also a bright red heel that I was pretty confident that I would fall over in. I was sure that Cinna had done it so that I would look a little taller next to Haymitch and Cato.

Glancing down at my dress, I saw that it was one of my favorite designs that Cinna had done. It almost looked like the dress was made out of metal. Like armor. It was almost completely black. There were red sparkles in the design that were a little hard to see. The dress was short in the front and trailed to the floor in the back. It went in a straight line over the middle of my chest and there was one strap going around my throat and to the middle of my chest, with two more straps on my shoulder. There was a headpiece that kept my hair back off of my face and bangles around my wrist.

Then Cinna adjusted the light in the room to mimic twilight and pressed a button just inside of one of the bangles on my wrist. I looked down, fascinated, as my ensemble slowly came to life, first with a soft golden light but gradually transforming to the orange-red of burning coal. I looked as if I had been coated in glowing embers - no, that I was a glowing ember straight from our fireplace back at home. The colors rose and fall, shifted and blended, in exactly the way that coals do.

"How did you do this?" I asked in wonder.

"Portia and I spent a lot of hours watching fires. Now look at yourself," Cinna instructed.

He turned me back towards a mirror so that I could take in the entire effect. I did not see a girl, or even a woman, but some unearthly being who looked like she might make her home in the volcano that destroyed so many in Haymitch's Quell. The black crown, which now appeared red-hot, cast strange shadows on my dramatically made-up face. Aspen Antaeus, the Girl on Fire, had left behind her flickering flames and bejeweled gowns and soft candlelight frocks. She was as deadly as fire itself.

"I think... this is just what I needed to face the others," I said.

"Yes, I think your days of pink lipstick and ribbons are behind you," Cinna said. He touched the button on my wrist again, extinguishing my light. "Let's not run down your power pack."

Cinna was looking at me with hope in his eyes. I nodded at him and smiled as I gave the twirl that I knew he would want to see. "Perfect as always. Although might I say, this year it seems like you're going for a little darker of a theme," I teased.

Cinna laughed. So I was right that he was going for a darker theme? I would have thought that he wanted light and fluffy this year. "Precisely," Cinna said.

"I thought that you would have wanted me to be all about light. You know, be friendly and make the people love me," I said with a chipper voice.

Cinna laughed and shook his head as he walked me out of the room. I looked up to one of the clocks on the wall and saw that it was only five minutes before it was time for the chariots to leave. That meant I wouldn't have time to talk with Cato. Not for more than a few seconds, which was not enough time.

"Not this time. They already love you and if they hate you, well, there's nothing that we can do now to change their minds," Cinna said. I laughed. It wasn't like he was wrong. "If Snow wants a fight, it's a fight that he's going to get."

"Damn straight," I said.

Just past where I was standing were the chariots. A nervous tick coming over me, Cinna placed his hand on my lower back and pushed me out towards the chariots. "Come on, time to get you out there. Are you ready?" he asked.

"This would be a bad time to say that I'm not," I joked.

"Good. Head over to the chariot. I know you'll want to say something to Cato, but wait until after the Parade. Got it?" Cinna asked.

"Deal."

He gave me a quick pat on the back before heading away. I watched for a moment as Cinna went to grab Effie and my Prep Team to bring them over to the waiting area. I sighed and shook my head, trying to look for the District 2 chariot. Naturally I couldn't see past the District 1 chariot, whose occupants were looking at me like they could light me on fire. Deciding not to tempt fate, I moved off to the side of their chariot and headed back to get to the District 12 chariot.

Since Cinna had a few more things to attend to, I headed into the huge gathering place for the Tributes and their chariots before the opening ceremonies. I was hoping to find Haymitch and Cato, but either they were somewhere that I couldn't see or they hadn't arrived yet. Peacekeepers were everywhere and that was when I started hearing my name. I glanced up and saw that a large crowd of Capitol citizens were standing a floor above me. They were cheering loudly now that I had arrived as I walked underneath. They had told me not to worry about making friends, so I wouldn't.

Unlike last year, when all of the Tributes were practically glued to their chariots and no one was talking, the scene was very social this year. The Victors, both this year's Tributes and their Mentors, were standing around in small groups, all of them talking. Of course, they all knew one another and I didn't know anyone, and there was also the issue that I wasn't really the sort of person to go around introducing myself. Cato was that kind of person. So I just stroked the neck of one of my horses and tried not to be noticed. It didn't work.

"How'd we get here, huh?" I asked the horse.

"Aspen," a male voice called.

My heart skipped a beat. I turned back in excitement. For a moment I thought that it might have been Cato and my heart continued to pick up speed. Had he come to find me? But I knew that it wasn't. His crunching hit my ear before I saw him. Not Cato. He wasn't here yet. And the voice was a little too high-pitched to be Cato. Plus, the shadow that was on the ground was too lean to be Cato. Turning back I saw that, like I thought, it wasn't Cato. Instead it was another man that I was almost as excited to see.

"Finnick!" I yelled, jumping into his arms.

He caught me and laughed as he set me back down, giving me a quick peck on the cheek. I heard cameras flash around us but I ignored them. Looking at them would only make things worse. "Do you want a sugar cube?" he asked, pulling out a sugar cube.

From where though I had no idea. It didn't look like he had many places to hide things in his costume. I laughed at him and he smiled one of his award winning smiles at me. "Where did you put that?" I asked.

"I'll show you," Finnick teased.

"Save it for your many admirers," I said.

"I mean, it's supposed to be for the horses, but... I mean, who cares about them, right? They got years to eat sugar, whereas you and I... Well, if we see something sweet, we better grab it," Finnick said.

Despite the fact that I knew the real Finnick Odair, I did like hearing the funny stories about him from the Capitol. As far as everyone else was concerned, Finnick Odair was something of a living legend in Panem. Since he won the Sixty-Fifth Hunger Games when he was only fourteen, he was still one of the youngest Victors. Just over four years older than me. Being from District 4, he was a Career, so the odds were already in his favor, but what no trainer could claim to have given him was his extraordinary beauty.

Tall, athletic, with golden skin and bronze-colored hair and those incredible eyes. While other Tributes that year were hard-pressed to get a handful of grain or some matches for a gift, Finnick never wanted for anything, not food or medicine or weapons. He received more Sponsors than anyone else ever had. It stunned me when I watched the Games. I was only ten, but I was old enough to watch them with Gale's family for half, and Katniss's for the other half. It took about a week for his competitors to realize that he was the one to kill, but it was too late.

He was already a good fighter with the spears and knives he had found in the Cornucopia. When he received a silver parachute with a trident - which may have been the most expensive gift I had ever seen given in the arena - it was all over. District 4's industry was fishing. He'd been on boats his whole life. The trident was a natural, deadly extension of his arm. He wove a net out of some kind of vine he found, used it to entangle his opponents so he could spear them with the trident, and within a matter of days the crown was his. The citizens of the Capitol had been drooling over him ever since.

Because of his youth, they couldn't really touch him for the first year or two after he won. But ever since he turned sixteen, he had spent his time at the Games being dogged by those desperately in love with him. No one retained his favor for long. He could go through four or five in his annual visit. Old or young, lovely or plain, rich or very rich, he would keep them company and take their extravagant gifts, but he never stayed, and once he was gone he never came back. And now I realized the truth. It was only because they paid for his company.

"No thanks," I said, referring to the sugar cube.

He shrugged, popping the cube into his mouth. It crunched for a few seconds as he ate it. I couldn't believe that he was. It sent a strange tingling feeling through my jaw when I ate things with too much sugar. Glancing down at his body, I nearly laughed. It was quite the costume that he was wearing. He wasn't wearing a shirt, was barefoot, and the only thing that he had over his lower half was a net that was strategically knotted in certain places to protect anything vital from being shown. It was as close to being naked as someone could possibly be.

"But I would love to borrow that outfit someday. It really shows off your curves," I told him.

He smiled, stepping slightly closer to me. "It would look lovely on you," Finnick teased.

"I'm sure that your stylist must love fitting you into that," I said, giving him a little wink.

Cameras were still flashing around us and I knew that in the morning there would be rumors that I was cheating on Cato with Finnick. But the truth was, he loved someone more than life itself. Annie Cresta, who, at the moment, was nowhere to be found. I assumed that she was either somewhere else with someone else or she was trying to avoid having to see Finnick go back to fight to his death.

"The question is, how do I fit into this?" Finnick asked.

I groaned, wishing I could get that picture out of my head. "Thank you, for that lovely image," I said.

He laughed at me and looked me up and down, his eyebrows raising at my outfit. He took the strap at my throat between his fingers and ran the material between them. "I have to say, you look pretty terrifying in that getup. What happened to the pretty little girl dresses that you were so fond of?" Finnick asked teasingly.

"I outgrew them," I sneered.

President Snow was sitting out on his terrace and I glanced out, narrowing my eyes. This was all his fault. I turned back to Finnick and saw that he was giving me a bright smile. It made me blush a little. He was one of the few people that always knew what to say so that he could get to me. I guessed that it was just a skill that he was born with.

"You certainly did," he said, with a suggestive grin. I rolled my eyes and stepped back from him. "But you've grown out of a lot of things."

"What's that supposed to mean?" I asked. glancing over his shoulders to see if I could catch a glimpse of Cato.

"Nothing. Still haven't gotten past that little crush, have we?" Finnick asked.

I narrowed my eyes at him. "I never had a crush," I snapped.

 _Liar._ "Look, I'm only messing with you. He misses you," Finnick said.

"Have you spoken to him?" I asked.

"I got a chance to talk with him earlier. He wants to speak with you after the Parade is over," Finnick explained.

I tried to force the blush on my face back down. I was glad that Cato wanted to talk but I should have seen that coming. He loved me and I knew that, but I was still nervous seeing him again for the first time. "Good, I'd like to speak with him too," I said, looking back over to Finnick.

He smiled at me and brushed back a strand of hair that was about to fall in front of my face. "How sweet, at least the two of you are on the same page. It's more than can be said for most of the other partners in this thing," Finnick said.

Only sometimes were we on the same page and that was probably because we weren't around each other enough to fight like a normal couple. "Everyone in here with start killing each other the second that the gong sounds," I said.

"We'll see."

"One person will win and everyone wants it."

Finnick grinned at me again. "I'm sorry you had to cancel your wedding. I know how devastating that must be for you. I was so looking forward to walking you down the aisle," Finnick told me.

"What was that?" I asked.

"That's right. They didn't want to tell you much of what was going on. I would have been the person to walk you down the aisle, with Haymitch at the other side, considering that you have no other male family members. Except your cousin, of course," Finnick teased.

I was supposed to get married the night of the Interviews, but it had been cancelled once I was Reaped into these Games. "Yes. That would have been nice," I said slowly. "How are your secrets coming?"

"They're coming along. What about you, Girl on Fire? Do you have any secrets worth my time?" Finnick asked.

For some stupid reason, I blushed, but I forced myself to hold my ground. "No, I'm an open book. Everybody seems to know my secrets before I know them myself," I said.

He smiled. "Unfortunately, I think that's true. Have a good day," Finnick said, turning from me.

"Have fun."

So I turned to head back to my chariot. I could just barely see it and I groaned at the thought of having to walk all the way back there in my heels. "Tributes, mount up," a Peacekeeper called, clearly trying to get me to go over to my spot.

There were a number of other people who were watching me to see what I was doing. My face was steeled and my nerves were deadened. I wasn't afraid. I just wanted to get this done with. I nodded at the Peacekeeper and headed back to the spot where my chariot was. As I passed the chariots I kept my gaze straight ahead of me, purposely trying to avoid looking at any of the other Tributes. I wasn't sure that I wanted to know how they were looking at me.

"Hey, Twelve," a deep male voice called.

Was it possible that he was finally here? I turned back to look for the owner of the voice, when I saw that it was just the man that I was looking for. Cato. He was dressed in a dark suit with gold sparkles on it. His colors, but my theme. His hair had gotten longer since the last time that I had seen him too. The sides were shaved off, leaving a tiny bit of hair, and the middle was slicked back. He also had a little bit of facial hair that complemented him well. I smirked at him and gave a little wink.

"Looking good," he purred, making me giggle a little bit.

Briefly stopping at his chariot, I narrowed my eyes. "You and I are going to have a very long and loud argument later," I said.

He grinned down at me. "I look forward to it," Cato said. "Glad you took my advice."

 _That said, you should wear flames more often_. Those were his words to me a year ago today. Walking past him without bothering to say anything, I laughed as I approached my own chariot. Haymitch was already in it. His suit the same as Cato's, just with red sparkles. It showed that we were a team, I supposed. And we were. He looked nice. His hair was trimmed a little bit, his beard was shaved off, and for once he didn't smell like liquor. He reached his arm down to me and I grabbed it, pulling myself up.

"Thanks," I said.

Cinna was now down at the base of the chariot. "No waving and smiling this time. I want you to look straight ahead as if the audience and this whole event are beneath you," Cinna told me.

"Finally something I'll be good at," I said, nodding. "That should be easy."

That actually made everything much easier. I hated having to pretend like I didn't have a care in the world. Like I could smile and laugh without anything making any effort. Not having to smile was fantastic. That was what I was the best at. Cinna handed me the button and I took it, hiding it inside of my hand. I did like being on fire. Just the way that Cinna liked to do. I wondered if Cato might have something to light himself on fire too.

"Press this when you're ready. Good luck," Cinna said.

"Thanks," I called back.

As we started to move, I looked up into the blue eyes that no amount of dramatic makeup could make truly deadly ten chariots over. I remembered how, just a year ago, I was prepared to kill him. Convinced he was trying to kill me. Which, at the time, he was. Now everything was reversed. I was determined to keep him alive, knowing the cost would be my own life, but the part of me that was not so brave as I could wish was glad that it was Cato, not Brutus, out there.

The chariots began to move not even a moment after Cinna had stepped away from us and I sunk back on the chariot slightly. Haymitch had a hand behind me though, just on my back, like always he was ready to catch me. The chariot pulled out of the Tribute Remake Center and I squinted for a moment as the lights in the runway heading to President Snow's mansion were directed onto us. I saw President Snow watching me and my skin began to crawl. Why couldn't he just fall off of that balcony?

The voices of the crowd rose into one universal scream as we rolled into the fading evening light, but neither one of us reacted. Not this time. As the cheers heightened to what was practically deafening levels - which I knew well enough - I listened. My name was being chanted over and over and over again. They were cheering for some of the others, but my name was the only one that I could easily make out from the rest of them.

There was no way that I could react. And I didn't mine. I simply fixed my eyes on a point far in the distance and pretended there was no audience and no hysteria. I couldn't help catching glimpses of us on the huge screens along the route, and we were not just beautiful, we are dark and powerful. No, more. The screens were chopped between Cato and me. We Star-Crossed Lovers from District 12 and 2, who suffered so much and enjoyed so little the rewards of our victory, did not seek the fans' favor, grace them with our smiles, or catch their kisses. We were unforgiving. And I loved it. Getting to be myself at last.

"Here they come! From District 12. Our favorites," Caesar Flickerman called from his balcony. Knowing that it was time, I tapped Haymitch on the back. He gave me a small nod. Pressing the button, the dress that I was wearing began to burn like embers again and I smirked. The audience was cheering and eating it up.

"There it is! Fire in the house!" Claudius yelled.

Risking the slight movement, I glanced over at Haymitch and noticed that the red sparkles that were on his suit were now burning slightly. It looked like his were also hot coals. It was nothing compared to mine, but it was still a nice effect. Of course, he wasn't the Girl on Fire. The audience were laughing and cheering, throwing roses and other flowers down at us. Some of the flowers were hitting my dress, and I wished that the synthetic fire would burn them.

"Aspen! Aspen! Aspen!" the crowd chanted. I fought the urge to roll my eyes.

They were just chanting for me to die. I knew what they wanted to see. Blood. As we curved around into the loop of the City Circle, I could see that a couple of the other stylists had tried to steal Cinna and Portia's idea of illuminating their Tributes. The electric-light-studded outfits from District 3, where they made electronics, at least make sense. But what were the livestock keepers from District 10, who were dressed as cows, doing with flaming belts? Broiling themselves? Pathetic.

They were nasty thought but I was upset. I hated being here. I hated all of them. I hated all of this. Cato, Haymitch, and I, on the other hand, were so mesmerizing with our ever-changing coal costumes, and shining golden warrior costume, that most of the other Tributes were staring at us. We seemed particularly riveting to the pair from District 6, who were the known morphling addicts. Both were bone thin, with sagging yellowish skin.

They couldn't tear their overlarge eyes away, even when President Snow began to speak from his balcony, welcoming us all to the Quell. The anthem played, and as we made our final trip around the circle, was there a chance that I was wrong? Or did I see the president fixated on me as well? Probably. Probably because he knew that I was angry to be here. Because I knew that this was my fault. Because we both knew that he wanted me dead.

The chariots made their final circle before they came rolling back into the Tribute Remake Center and I took a deep breath. It was right then that both Haymitch and I relaxed. I had never been so happy to see that it was over. It was one of my least favorite parts about the preparation for the Games. Haymitch nodded to me as our chariot stopped and I smiled back at him. We had done well. It seemed like people didn't hate us as much as I thought that they would.

"Nice. It seems that I may remember to make friends out there, after all," Haymitch said.

Despite everything, I laughed. He was right about that. No one had booed him and it seemed like he had been up on the screens for a moderate amount of time. Maybe he was more liked than he thought. Or maybe it was just because he was next to me. A cough sounded from behind me and I looked back, getting ready to tell one of the Tributes to get the hell away from me. But instead of some snot-nosed paparazzi or a cruel Tribute, it was just the man that I was looking for.

"Cato," I chirped happily.

Cinna and Portia were pleased with our performance, but I was ignoring them. I even ignored Haymitch, who made a beeline to the District 11 chariot. The two of us smiled at each other before jumping into his arms and pressing my lips against his. He held me tightly to him and I could hear the snaps and see the flashes of the cameras all around us. A tap on my shoulder from Haymitch forced us to separate ourselves and I smiled bashfully at him.

"Oh, I've missed you so much," I said.

He smiled at me. "I've missed you too," Cato said, while cameras flashed all around us.

But suddenly my elation turned to anger as I realized that it should have been Brutus in his place. "I can't believe what you did out there. Why the hell didn't you let Brutus take your place in the Games?"

"You know why."

"I don't care! You could have been safe! I wouldn't have been worried sick about you all night," I growled at him.

"Aspen -"

"I should kill you myself."

"I did this to protect you."

"You could have protected me out of the arena."

"No. I had to be here."

"I hate you."

"I know." He placed his hand on my back and pushed me away from the chariot. Haymitch motioned to me but I ignored him. All he wanted was to drag me away from the cameras. Cinna sent me a goodbye nod with his stylists. Effie left, too, but I knew that she would be up to the room soon. "We can talk about this later, alright?" Cato asked.

"Like I said, a very long and loud conversation awaits you," I said.

"All right. When people with cameras aren't standing all around us, " Cato said.

"Fine," I said.

"Oh, Aspen?" Cato asked.

"What?" I asked, as we walked to the elevator.

"I've missed you too," Cato said, with a little smirk.

Rolling my eyes at Cato, I looked over to Haymitch and gave him a little smile. He looked happy in some way but I couldn't tell why. Maybe he was happy to see us together. "Anyways, we learned from the best. I'll never forget quite how friendly you were to Peeta and I when we first met you," I told Haymitch.

He gave me a somber laugh, remembering how we both had acted. "You two were kind of annoying," Cato said. The last thing that I wanted was to be thinking of Peeta the entire time that I was here.

"Shut up. It was one of the most life changing moments I've ever experienced," I said softly.

"I tend to have that effect on people," Haymitch said.

For a second I glanced around. "Do you think we'd have ended up like this if only one of us had won?" Cato asked, glancing around at the other Victors. "Just another part of the freak show?"

"Sure. Especially you," I said.

"Oh. And why especially me?" he asked with a smile.

"Because you have a weakness for beautiful things and I don't," I said with an air of superiority. "They would lure you into their Capitol ways and you'd be lost entirely."

"Having an eye for beauty isn't the same thing as a weakness. Except possibly when it comes to you," Cato said.

His words still made me laugh. I saw Haymitch nod in our direction and then the two he was standing with followed him over to greet us. I knew Chaff by sight because I had spent years watching him pass a bottle back and forth with Haymitch on television. He was dark-skinned, about six feet tall, and one of his arms ended in the stump I was so used to because he lost his hand in the Games he won thirty years ago. Even now, going back into the Games, he didn't have an artificial limb.

The woman, Seeder, looked almost like she could be from the Seam, with her olive skin and straight black hair streaked with silver. Only her golden brown eyes marked her as from another District. She must have been around sixty, but she still looked strong, and there was no sign that she had turned to liquor or morphling or any other chemical form of escape over the years. Before either of us said a word, she embraced me. I knew somehow it must be because of Rue and Thresh.

Before I could stop myself, I whispered, "The families?"

"They're alive," she said back softly before letting me go.

"I wanna introduce you to some special friends of mine," Haymitch said, to officially introduce us. "This is Seeder. And Chaff. From District 11."

Again, and somewhat for the cameras, I smiled at the pair, extending my hand to him. I was expecting him to use his remaining hand to give mine a shake. But Chaff merely laughed at me and grabbed me in for what I thought was a hug. But at the last moment he leaned into me and pressed a sloppy kiss on my lips. He let me go with a bright laugh and I stumbled back as the two Tributes walked away. Haymitch came up to me with a laugh and patted me on the back.

"He's very friendly. Don't invite him over. He'll drink up your liquor. I'll see you guys soon," Haymitch called behind them. "Let's get some of that makeup off you and talk about these other Tributes."

Nodding at him and walking with a little bit of a stumble, I nearly tripped as we walked. That was not something that I had been expecting to happen tonight. "These Tributes are crazy," I mumbled.

Cato was fighting back a laugh and I smacked him in the stomach roughly, although it did nothing. "Relax," Cato said.

Haymitch shook his head at me. "No, not all of 'em. He's a good guy," Haymitch said. He then saluted the Peacekeeper. "Carry on."

That was about all of the time that we got before the Capitol attendants were firmly directing us toward the elevators. I got the distinct feeling they were not comfortable with the camaraderie among the Victors, who couldn't seem to care less about the attendants. As I walked toward the elevators, my hand now linked with Cato's, someone else rustled up to my side. The girl pulled off a headdress of leafy branches and tossed it behind her without bothering to look where it fell.

Just before the doors were about to close I glanced over and saw that the girl who had tossed off her headdress was now jamming her arm into the door to get it to open again. She waltzed in and my heart jumped slightly. It was Johanna Mason. She was dressed like some weird type of nature thing, and her black hair was pulled up a little bit. She noticed that we were all staring at her and she scoffed, looking at me like she was ready to tear my head off.

"You guys look amazing," Johanna said.

"Thank you," I told her quietly, sensing that no one else would speak.

For someone that was known to be such a cruel and cunning person, she didn't seem awful. Not yet, at least. She was a little brash and angry-looking, but she didn't seem like the villain that people made her out to be. Johanna laughed and looked down at herself. I could tell that she was bitter over the way that she was dressed and I didn't blame her. She did look pretty ridiculous. I didn't blame her for wanting to get up to the seventh floor as fast as possible.

"You do look fantastic," Johanna said.

Girl talk. That thing that I had always been so bad at. Opinions on clothes, hair, and makeup. So I lied. "Yeah, Cinna's been helping me design my own clothing line. You should see what he can do with velvet," I said.

Velvet. The only fabric that I could think of off the top of my head. "I have. On your tour. That strapless number you wore in District 2? The deep blue one with the diamonds?" I nodded blankly. "So gorgeous I wanted to reach through the screen and tear it right off your back," Johanna said.

 _I bet you did. With a few inches of my flesh._

"My stylist is such an idiot," Johanna hissed. I remained silent. The last thing that I wanted to do was make her angry. As we soared upwards, Johanna started pulling down her hair. "District 7. Lumber. Trees." I nodded. It made sense. It just looked horrible. "I'd love to put my axe in her face." Okay, maybe she was a little bit cruel. I had to stay away from her. "So what do you think? Now that the whole world wants to sleep with you?"

She was slowly pulling off the accessories of her costume. Haymitch and I exchanged a look. He was smirking at her while I was stunned. Suddenly my face turned red and I stammered for a moment. How the hell did I respond to something like that? People didn't always want to sleep with me. People didn't even like me. They just liked the fact that I was famous and being with me would make them famous. So I blew out a puff of air and laughed.

"I don't think that the whole world -" I began, getting almost immediately cut off.

Johanna whipped around and stared at me. "I wasn't talking to you," she sneered.

The corners of my lips turned upwards and I raised my eyes. "Okay," I said slowly.

Of course she wasn't talking to me. Instead she looked over to Cato and gave him a sweet smile that shook my nerves. _Get the hell away from my fiancé_. She turned her back to him and looked over her shoulder. "Will you unzip?" she asked.

"Yeah," Cato said.

He missed the nasty look I shot him. He briefly glanced over at me. As Haymitch was grinning at her, I looked away, glaring at Cato the entire time. Cato quickly pulled the zipper down and I turned my nose up to the air as she stripped the dress off and turned back directly in front of Cato. It didn't take her long to completely strip the dress off. Cato and Haymitch exchanged a look as I glared at them both. If only I had a bow... The elevator continued to rise as I looked anywhere but at Johanna. She gave Haymitch a little wink before the doors slid open.

"Thanks," Johanna said, tucking tail and heading away. "Let's do it again sometime."

I looked out long enough to give her a little snort. She exited out of the elevator as we hit the landing of the seventh floor and I grit my teeth together. Haymitch was giving her a low smile, not even bothering to hide the fact that he was looking at her. Cato, on the other hand was watching her, looking utterly shocked. I turned an angry glare on Cato and when he looked over to me, I snorted and took a step back from him.

"Thank you," Haymitch whistled once she had left. "Johanna Mason, District 7."

Turning my angry glare onto Haymitch I scoffed and shook my head at the two of them. "Yeah, thanks, Haymitch. Believe it or not, I got that one," I sneered. Looking over to Cato I noticed that he was still staring at the doors to the elevator. "What the hell are you staring wistfully after?"

It startled him out of whatever thoughts that he was having. He started to laugh. "Aspen," he chuckled.

"What?" I asked.

"It's you, Aspen. Can't you see?" Cato asked.

"What's me?" I asked.

"Why they're all acting like this. Finnick with his sugar cubes and Chaff kissing you and that whole thing with Johanna stripping down." He tried to take on a more serious tone, unsuccessfully. "They're playing with you because you're so... you know," Cato said, trailing off.

"No, I don't know," I said.

And I really didn't have any idea what he was talking about. "It's like when you wouldn't look at me after our time in the cave in the arena even though you had just done that. You're so... pure," Cato said finally.

"I am not! I've been practically ripping your clothes off every time there's been a camera for the last year!" I shouted. "And we -"

I stopped talking the moment I realized that we weren't alone and cameras hadn't seen that. Haymitch gave me a long look. Cato started to talk again to save me the awkward conversation. "Yeah, but... I mean, for the Capitol, you're pure," Cato said, clearly trying to mollify me. "For me, you're perfect. They're just teasing you."

"No, they're laughing at me, and so are you!" I barked.

"No."

"Forget the two of you. I'm gonna go find Cinna or someone that actually has some morals," I growled, as the elevator stopped at the twelfth floor.

Climbing out, I marched into the hallway and headed towards the door to my bedroom. "Aspen!" Cato called after me, but I ignored him. It wasn't like I was really angry with him, I just wanted someone to be angry at because of this whole situation. "Come here, please."

He grabbed my hand and pulled me back. Cato shook his head, but he was still suppressing a smile. I was seriously rethinking the question of who should get out of these Games alive when the other elevator opened. Effie joined us, heading with Haymitch, looking pleased about something. Then Haymitch's face grew hard. What did I do now? It seemed that I was always doing something wrong. I almost said something, but I saw that he was staring behind me at the entrance to the dining room.

Effie blinked in the same direction, then said brightly, "Looks like they've got you a matched set this year. And an additional one."

I turned around and found Lavinia, the redheaded Avox girl who tended to me last year until the Games began. I thought how nice it was to have a friend here. I noticed that the two young men beside her, another two Avoxes. One of the men also had red hair. That must be what Effie meant by a matched set. The other was blonde. Then a chill ran through me. Because I knew them, too. Not from the Capitol but from years of having easy conversations in the Hob, joking over Greasy Sae's soup, and that last day watching him lie unconscious in the square while the life bled out of Gale. And from our conversation last night.

Our new Avoxes were Darius and Clio.

Haymitch gripped my wrist as if anticipating my next move, but I was as speechless as the Capitol's torturers have rendered Darius and Clio. Haymitch once told me they did something - likely removing - to Avoxes' tongues so they could never talk again. In my head I hear Darius's voice, playful and bright, ringing across the Hob to tease me. Not as my fellow Victors were making fun of me now, but because we genuinely liked each other. If Gale could see him...

And Clio. Sweet Clio, who I had only just met. Was this President Snow's showcase of how deadly my accompaniment was becoming? Clio had been around for the past year but we had only talked once, yesterday, for the first time. Really talked. More than him asking me what I wanted to eat. And now, the next day, he was an Avox. It was no coincidence. This was his punishment for speaking to me. For being my friend. For offering me comfort. President Snow wanted me to feel completely alone, with no one new to turn to, while he killed and threatened all of my old friends.

I knew that any move I would make toward Darius or Clio, any act of recognition, would only result in punishment for them. So all three of us just stared into each other's eyes. Darius and Clio, now a mute slave; me, now headed to death. What would we say, anyway? That we were sorry for the other's lot? That we ached for the other's pain? That we were glad we had the chance to know each other?

No, Darius and Clio shouldn't be glad that they knew me. They should never have been glad to know me. If I had been there to stop Thread, he wouldn't have stepped forward to save Gale. Wouldn't be an Avox. And more specifically, wouldn't be my Avox, because President Snow had so obviously had him placed here for my benefit. And Clio, if he hadn't offered to sit with me and be my comfort last night, he would still have his cushy Capitol job.

My face must have registered some shock, because Cato's smile had dropped and he was now looking at me with concern. I finally managed to twist my wrist from Haymitch's grasp and headed down to my old bedroom without another word, locking the door behind me. I sat on the side of my bed, elbows on my knees, forehead on my fists, and watched my glowing dress in the darkness, imagining I was in my old home in District 12, huddled beside the fire. It slowly faded back to black as the power pack died out.

A knock eventually came at the door and I let it slide open. Cato walked in. "Are you okay?" he asked.

"T - Those Avoxes," I said.

"The girl? The one that you knew?"

"No. The other two."

"What about them?"

"I know them, too."

The shock registered on Cato's face. "More escapees?" he asked.

"No. The redheaded boy is Darius. He was a Peacekeeper in District 12. The only one that I liked. He tried to stop Gale from getting whipped before I got there. That was the last time that I saw him. I didn't know that they brought him here. And the other one. That's Clio. He was one of the attendants on my train. He has been for the last year. Last night was the first time that I really talked to him. He watched Haymitch's Games with me. Just sat with me. Acted like a friend."

We were silent for a long time. Finally Cato spoke again. "Aspen, this didn't happen because of you," Cato said.

"Don't be stupid. That's why they're here. Strategically placed here by Snow. To show me just how endangered the people close to me are," I said.

"I'm sorry about them."

"It's me who should be sorry. I did that. I can't believe it happened."

"Aspen, they love you. All of the people. Of the Capitol. Of the Districts. This is your chance. You see what the Capitol is doing. This is your chance to save them."

"You. To save you. They're not my concern."

"Aspen -"

"I'm not in the mood to talk," I said.

Cato pressed a kiss against my temple. "I really am sorry about your friends. I know what they mean to you," Cato whispered.

"Just another person hurt because of me," I muttered.

"Do something, Aspen."

"What?"

"Show Snow that he can do whatever he wants to do to you. Show him that he can hurt and scare as many people as he wants. Just make sure that he knows that you are not going to fold under him," Cato said.

The two of us exchanged a long look. He was right. At this point there was nothing that I could do. All that I could do was play into Snow's game. I was not going to get anyone else hurt. I would play along and eventually do whatever I could to hurt Snow and his Games. He was going to die for everything that he had done. Even if it wasn't me that did it. Cato allowed me to just lay on his shoulder and tuck my face into his neck. The whole time he pushed his fingers through my hair and kissed my temple, whispering reassuring words that eventually lulled me to sleep.

When Effie eventually knocked on the door to summon us to dinner, I forced myself to get up and take off my dress, fold it neatly, and set it on the table with my crown. I imagined that Cinna would want to keep it. Cato changed into a pair of men's clothing at the bottom of my drawer as I went into the bathroom. I washed the dark streaks of makeup from my face to try and gain back some sense of normalcy. I dressed in a simple shirt and pants and grabbed Cato to go down the hall to the dining room.

Cato sat next to me and gently patted my leg underneath the table, rubbing over the fabric of my pants. I wasn't aware of much at dinner except that Darius, Lavinia, and Clio were our servers. The whole thing made me sick. Effie, Haymitch, Cinna, Portia, Carrine, and Cato were all there, talking about the opening ceremonies, I supposed. But the only time I really felt present was when I purposely knocked a dish of peas to the floor and, before anyone could stop me, crouched down to clean them up.

Darius and Clio were right by me when I sent the dish over, and we three were briefly side by side, obscured from view, as we scoop up the peas. For just one moment our hands met. All three of them. They knew what I couldn't say. _I'm sorry_. I could feel their skin, rough under the buttery sauce from the dish. In the tight, desperate clench of our fingers were all of the rest of the words that we would never be able to say.

Then Effie was clucking at me from behind about how, "That isn't your job, Aspen!" and they let go.

When we went in to watch the recap of the opening ceremonies, I wedged myself in between Cinna and Haymitch on the couch because I didn't want to be next to Peeta. This awfulness with Darius belonged to me and Gale and Katniss and maybe even Haymitch, but not to Cato. He knew what I had talked about, about Darius and Clio and who they were to me. Besides, I was still a little angry with him for laughing at me along with the other Victors, and the last thing I wanted was his sympathy and comfort. I hadn't changed my mind about saving him in the arena.

As I watched the procession to the City Circle, I thought about how it was bad enough that they dressed us all up in costumes and parade us through the streets in chariots on a regular year. All of what they did to kill just a few kids in the most brutal ways. Kids in costumes were silly, as always, but aging Victors, it turned out, were pitiful. A few who were on the younger side, like Johanna and Finnick, or whose bodies haven't fallen into disrepair, like Seeder and Enobaria, could still manage to maintain a little dignity in their dress.

But the majority of the Victors, who were in the clutches of drink or morphling or illness, looked grotesque in their costumes, depicting cows and trees and loaves of bread. Some flaming. All horrible. Last year we chattered away about each contestant during the recaps, but tonight there was only the occasional comment. Because they knew, like us, that this was all horrible. Small wonder the crowd went wild when I appeared, looking so young and strong and beautiful in my brilliant costume. The very image of what a perfect Tribute should be.

As soon as it was over, I stood up and thanked Cinna and Portia for their amazing work and headed off to bed. Effie called back a reminder to meet early for breakfast to work out our training strategy, but even her voice sounded hollow. Poor Effie. She finally had a decent year in the Games with Peeta and me, and later Cato, and now it was all broken down into a mess that even she couldn't put a positive spin on. In Capitol terms, I was guessing that this counted as a true tragedy.

Finally I turned to Cato. Sensing that this was going to be a private moment, Haymitch nodded us off. "We'll, uh... We'll give you two a minute. Cato?" Haymitch called before we could leave.

"Yeah?"

"You should head downstairs soon and get some sleep. It will be a long day for the two of you tomorrow," Haymitch said.

Cato nodded, knowing that Haymitch was right. "I will," Cato said.

"Come here early tomorrow morning," Haymitch instructed.

"Of course."

Maybe it would make a nice breakfast. Yeah, right. "The three of us need to have a talk about everything," Haymitch continued.

"I will," Cato said. Haymitch nodded. "Goodnight, Haymitch.

"Night, everyone," I called back.

The two of us waved them off as a Capitol show started talking about how heartbreaking the story of the Star-Crossed Lovers would be this year. A moment later, I grabbed Cato's hand and pulled him into my room, shutting the door behind us. Cato grabbed me by the waist and pulled me into him. I was trying to forget about Darius and Lavinia and Clio. Anything to not picture what had happened to their tongues when the Capitol had hurt them.

"It's good to see you, you know," Cato said.

"You too."

"I wish that it were under any other circumstances but I'm still glad to see you," Cato continued.

Despite everything that had happened, I smiled. It was good to see him too. It was always good to see him. No matter what the circumstances were. But still, as nice as it was to see him again, after everything, I was pissed with him. I probably would be until the day that I died. I couldn't believe that he had just taken Brutus's spot in the Games, forcing one of us to die. We could have both lived had he stayed out of this.

"Cut the bullshit, will you?" I snapped at Cato, who stepped back from me, looking completely shocked.

"That was unexpected."

"Look, I know that you wanted to protect me but why the hell did you do this?"

"You know why I did this."

My eyes were starting to water. "You should have stayed out of this. I would have been by myself in these Games."

"I couldn't leave you alone."

"I wouldn't have to worry about keeping you alive, too!" I yelled, not letting Cato butt in to say anything. "You should have let Brutus come here. He would have loved this. Like this isn't hard enough with Finnick and Haymitch in the Games, now I have to add you into the mix."

As angry as I wanted to be with him, as much as I wanted to lose my mind and scream my head off at him, my anger dissipated at his look. Because I knew that I would have done the same thing if the tables were reversed. But that didn't make this any harder. It never would have. His blue eyes were sparkling and I noticed the look in his eyes immediately. It was love. I could tell that he was so happy to see me, and here I was, yelling at him.

"I would have thought that maybe I'd at least get a hello kiss away from the cameras," Cato said.

"Cato..."

"I thought that you might at least wait until tomorrow morning to start yelling at me," Cato continued, his blue eyes earning a little sparkle.

"Knock it off," I said.

As much as I appreciated the fact that he was trying to make a joke and make things lighter, I had to know why he had done it. Why he hadn't just let me fight my own way out of the arena. "Cato, I'm being serious. Look I don't want to yell at you, I don't want to fight with you. I want these last days together to be good ones. Even if we know that we won't be alive much longer. At least one of us won't be," I said sadly.

Cato grabbed my hand and brought me to sit down on the bed. He brought his lips down and kissed my hand, making my nerves fray. "You don't know that," he said quietly.

Shaking my head at him, I pulled my arm back. I knew that we weren't both getting out of this. Only one of us was going to get out of this thing. "I do. This time isn't going to be like the last time," I said.

"We didn't know last time that they would let us win," Cato said.

"Bear in mine that they didn't want to let us win. We forced their hand," I said.

"We can do it again."

"Not this time. Everyone hates us. They hate me. They blame me for being the reason that they are all back here, and that means that they blame you too."

"That's not true."

"It is the truth. They're furious with me. Not only that, but we have all of the Gamemakers after us, too. President Snow, if we can add that on there. Both of us aren't going to make it out this time."

"Aspen -"

"No matter how much the people, or we, want to," I finished.

Cato nodded at me and for a moment I just wanted to kiss him. I didn't want him to talk to me anymore and I didn't want to have to think about this anymore. I just wanted him to kiss me and make it all go away. "I know that. I know," Cato said.

"So, why?" I asked.

"That's exactly why I volunteered. Brutus likes you just fine but he wouldn't hesitate to kill you. None of them would, except Haymitch and Finnick," Cato said.

I nearly laughed. "Friends or not, they have their own lives. They would kill me if it came down to it. Some of them would love to kill me, given the chance," I said.

I wasn't stupid, I knew that they all wanted to kill me. "Exactly. That's why I'm here. I'm going to save you. You're going to have the life that you deserve," Cato said.

My heart broke. I felt like I might throw up on him. As much as I loved what he had just told me, there was nothing that he could say or do to change my mind. I was going to die to make sure that he lived. "Cato -" I tried to reason with him.

Before I could get any more out, he cut me off. "No. No more, Aspen. I'm going to save you and give you the life that you've always deserved. This is the one chance in my life that I have to do something good," he told me.

"You already have," I said.

"Not enough. I'm going to do something. I'm going to keep you alive. With my dying breath, I'll fight for you."

Tears rose to my eyes and I fought to keep them back. He was the only person that had ever treated me like I was really worth something and here I was, ready to die for him. Love was a waste. Hard and useless. Although I thought that love was completely moronic, it wasn't something that could be avoided and I knew that. So instead I grabbed Cato's hand and pulled him into me. His forehead was pressed against mine and I smiled weakly at him. No matter if we would be dead in a few days, it didn't matter. Nothing that was coming mattered.

"I love you," I told him quietly.

Cato smiled back at me. One of his real, rare smiles. The ones that made him look better than he ever had. "I love you too. I always will," he told me, making me smile.

"Me too."

"Get to bed. Haymitch was right, it's going to be a long day tomorrow. No point in hiding your talents this time. They know that you're a force to be reckoned with. Show them," Cato said.

"I plan to."

He was right. We would all know what each other's talents were. We had seen the Games. There would be no use of that this year. No playing the weak card. We either were or weren't. They knew that I was young but I was a real contender. We all were though. Not that that meant anything. I knew that I was the biggest contender. I had to be if I was going to keep Cato alive until the end of the Games. I leaned in and gave Cato a quick kiss.

"Goodnight, Cato, I'll see you at breakfast I suppose," I told him.

"Of course."

He grabbed me once more, before he could leave, and gave me a slow kiss that burned me to my core. The one thing that he could do that would always get to me. But before I could really enjoy it, Cato pulled away and gave me a little smirk. I scoffed and threw a pillow at him, laughing as he ducked away from it and turned to leave the room. But before he could, he turned back to me.

"Hey. I'll stay tomorrow night," Cato said.

"Okay."

"I should go down tonight and see what Brutus and Enobaria are planning for tomorrow."

"Go, Cato. I've managed six months. I can manage another night," I teased.

So he laughed and nodded. He walked forward and pressed a kiss against my forehead before turning to leave. Sighing, I stood up from my bed and started to peel off my clothing, flinging it around the room. Not that my carelessness really made me feel better. Kicking my underclothes to the side, I walked over to the dresser and pulled out a pair of black leggings with a green tank top. It was something that I would have worn back home. Slipping into the bathroom, I hopped in the shower and quickly rinsed the red sparkles out of my hair before hopped out and pulling it up.

Walking back into the bedroom, I dropped onto the pillows. But something was itching at me. The letter that Seneca Crane had written me. He had asked me to see him tonight. As nervous as I was that it was a trick, I knew that it would bother me until I got up and checked it out. So, perhaps stupidly, I stood up and headed to the roof. It shocked me that the roof was actually cold. As I walked through the rooftop gardens, I looked around to see if I could find him. But no matter how hard I tried, I couldn't spot him. Maybe he wasn't coming. Good. That way I could leave and pretend this hadn't happened.

"Aspen Antaeus," a voice called.

Jumping at the sudden sound, I turned around, seeing that Seneca Crane was standing only a few feet from me. He was wearing a black suit and his beard was slightly trimmed. He looked so much different than the first time that I had seen him. He did, however, have the same condescending smile that he had always had.

"Seneca Crane," I said slowly.

"I see that my note was successfully delivered to you."

"Obviously."

"I'm sure that you saw me in the Gamemakers box. I'm glad that you decided to join me tonight," Seneca said, with a soft lilt to his voice.

Snarling at him, I shook my head and turned away. This wasn't how I wanted to spend my first night. "I don't have time for this, Seneca. My life was already messed up before I went into the Games last year but I was getting over it. I was ready to move on with my life and forget that any of this had ever happened. Then I was dragged back into this place," I hissed.

He raised his eyebrow. Maybe he hadn't thought that I was this angry about this. "Don't be angry with me. I didn't do this," Seneca said.

"No, but you managed to create enough of my nightmares."

"But not this one."

"No more games. I'm going to die and I know it. So unless you're here to tell me something that will either get me out of here or save Cato, I'm leaving," I said, turning on my heel.

He didn't bother to stop me. He just laughed, only infuriating me more. I was ready to wipe that damn smirk off his face but that wasn't anything that was going to go over well. "Still just as friendly as you always were," Seneca said.

I whipped back around to him, ready to give him a peace of my mind. "You -"

"My turn to talk."

"So talk. Stop wasting my time."

"First thing's first. I can say that I'm sorry for the rest of my life. It will make no difference for anything that I did to you last year and during the Victory Tour," Seneca said.

My eyebrows shot up. Was he about to apologize to me? It kind of was one. He was really getting ready to tell me that everything that he had done to me was wrong. What a piece of garbage of a person that he was. He really thought that after everything that he could have done he could just apologize to me and things would be right between us once more.

"You're damn right," I hissed.

Seneca merely smiled, knowing that his even being in my presence was bothering me. "As I was saying, I'm sorry for everything," Seneca said.

"I don't believe you."

"Believe what you may. But I was in the wrong state of mind. I've recently been enlightened," Seneca said. I laughed loudly. "Don't laugh."

"I guess a near death experience can count as being enlightened," I said.

"Death just doessn't agree with me," Seneca said.

"Maybe you should try again. Maybe this time it will take," I suggested.

"Let's try and be civil, Aspen. This will help you. It will keep you and Mr. Hadley alive if you can listen," Seneca said.

My eyebrows shot up to the top of my head and suddenly I didn't hate Seneca Crane as much as I thought that I did. That wasn't completely true. I would always hate Seneca, but if he was willing to help me than that was a good thing. We could maybe try to be friends again. As close to friends as I could possibly be with him. As long as he was going to help me out.

"Then, please, tell me what I should do. I'm listening. Please tell me what I should do," I said, hoping that he was going to actually give me something worth it.

"Are you willing to listen?" Seneca asked.

"If it keeps me or Cato alive, I'm more than willing to listen," I said, hoping that I didn't sound too desperate.

Just like I had expected, Seneca Crane smiled. His beady eyes made me feel like I was naked up here. "Good. I want for us to be able to trust each other," Seneca said.

I nearly gagged. We were never going to be able to trust each other. Not really. "I'll give it a try," I said honestly.

"Now there isn't much that I can tell you. I need to keep myself alive long enough to be able to watch you during the Games."

"Anything helps."

"There are some things that I can tell you to keep you alive until a, uh, plan, I suppose you could call it, falls into place," Seneca said.

Unfortunately the little scoff that had been building up in my throat escaped me. That so figured that there were only little things that he could tell me. But it made sense I guessed. President Snow would kill me immediately if he found out that I knew the entire layout of the arena. But what the hell was that plan? Was it the same plan that Finnick and Haymitch had been telling me about since I had won the last Games?

"Plan?" I asked Seneca stupidly.

Before he had even opened his mouth I knew where he was going with it. He was going to tell me that I couldn't know yet. Just like they had all been telling me for months. It wasn't a surprise. "Don't ask. You can't know," Seneca said.

There is was. I knew that it was coming. "What a surprise," I said.

"It's for your own good."

Shaking my head at him, I started to get ready to head back downstairs and get some much needed rest for the training day that was about to come up. "Let me guess. It will ruin everything if I know. Or something even better! I'll find out soon?" I asked, with a nasty bite to my voice.

He smiled at me and shook his head like I had told him the wrong ending to a joke. "Sooner than you might think," Seneca said.

"So I've heard."

"Just be patient, Aspen."

"Patience is not one of my virtues."

"So I've seen. And stay alive. That's the important part. This plan falls apart if you're dead."

"Trust me. I'm not planning to die unless I absolutely have to," I said, rolling my eyes.

"Anyways, about the arena now," Seneca said. My ears perked up. This was what I was interested in. "The force field will be dangerous. They don't want a repeat of the last Quarter Quell, and with Abernathy in it, they've been extraordinarily careful to hide it."

"Okay," I said.

That could pose a big problem if I couldn't spot it. "And there will be mutts. Lots of them. A special request from last year," Seneca said.

I narrowed my eyes at him. That was something that I should have seen coming. They loved my fights with the mutts last year so it was obvious that they would want to put even more in this year. Especially since I was coming back into the arena.

"Do I have you to thank for that?" I asked.

"Not me. Others of the Gamemakers who are less fond of you."

"Of course. Why would they not put mutts in the Games? I'm sure that they were a favorite after some of my encounters with them," I hissed, remembering the wolf mutt that had nearly taken my head off. And had nearly skinned me. Forget that thing.

Seneca smiled at me. He was probably looking forward to one of those fights. "Right you are. Not to worry. It shouldn't be anything that you haven't seen before," Seneca said.

"That doesn't mean that I want to fight it," I said.

"Calm yourself, Aspen. There is one last thing that I have to tell you and you need to take this to heart."

"I'm listening."

"People here, more than you think, are on your side. People you may have thought of as enemies. Trust people. I know that might be hard for you, but trust them," Seneca said.

"Who can I trust?" I asked. Who wouldn't kill me in my sleep?

"You will find that out. Not to fear," Seneca said.

"I have a very limited amount of time to solve that question."

"You have time," Seneca promised.

"Is that it?" I asked.

"One last thing. Stay alive until the third night. There will be a show that you don't want to miss," Seneca said.

The third night? They were having a show on just the third night? That must mean that they really did want to have these Games over with quickly. That wasn't surprising though. "Just stay alive until the third night?" I asked.

"That's the plan."

"I was planning on staying alive a little longer than that."

"I have a funny feeling that you will," Seneca said.

"Uh, thanks. I guess," I told him.

"You're very welcome."

"I appreciate it but this doesn't make us even. Not by far," I told him.

"Of course not," Seneca said, seemingly understanding that we still weren't even close to being friends. But if we kept on this track, we would be.

"But, still, thank you. I know that you risked your life for this," I told him, really meaning it.

Seneca smiled, giving me a little bow. I nodded to him and watched as he headed to the back door that would take him down the alternate staircase. "You'd be surprised, Aspen. I risk my life for you more often than you would think," Seneca said.

"Do you?"

"More than you'll ever know."

"Okay," I said, unsure of a better response.

"You should get to bed. It will be a long day tomorrow. Goodnight, Miss Antaeus. And good luck tomorrow," Seneca said.

"Thank you, Seneca," I said quickly, before disappearing back into the District 12 loft and slipping silently into my room.

I shuddered at the thought that I actually might owe Seneca something. He hadn't told me much but it was better than nothing. There were apparently more Tributes that I could trust than I thought there were. But who were they? The force field was going to be dangerous. But how would I find it? And I had to wait until the third day to see a real show. But what was it? All night I was up thinking about Seneca's barely-there hints, wondering what they meant. I was up so long thinking about them that by the time I was finally drifting off to sleep, the sun was starting to creep over the horizon.

 **A/N:** Here's another fully edited chapter. **Let me know what you think!** Until next time -A


	11. Chapter 11

The next morning was just like every other nightmare that I had been plagued with over the past year or so. Every time I woke up when I was back in District 12 I had thought about being back in the arena, fighting for my life all over again. There had always been a little fear in me that I would somehow manage to find my way back here. It killed me to even think about, because of what a nightmare the first time around had been. This time was sure to be even worse. Now, here I was, back in the Capitol. And this time it wasn't to be a Mentor, like I had spent so long thinking that I would be.

Of course not. This time things were much worse than I had ever thought that they could be. I was once more a Tribute. Just like the rest of us. I had gotten to live as a Victor for less than a year. I was a Tribute for the second year in a row, I was engaged to a man in the same predicament as I was, my family's life was in danger because of things that I had done, my Mentor was in the Games with me, Seneca Crane still liked me far more than I was comfortable with, and President Snow wanted me dead. This past year had been a nightmare and it was nowhere near over yet.

Tongues figured prominently in my nightmares. Each time I woke up was even worse than the one beforehand. First I watched, frozen and helpless while gloved hands carried out the bloody dissection in Darius's and Clio's mouths. Each snip of the scissors, the screams getting more and more mottled, and then a silence even more deafening than the screams. The whole thing was enough to make me sick and keep me awake for hours.

When I finally manage to fall back asleep I had found myself looped in another nightmare. Then I was at a party where everyone wore masks and someone with a flicking, wet tongue, who I supposed might have been Finnick, was stalking me, but when he caught me and pulled off his mask, it was President Snow, and his puffy lips are dripping in bloody saliva. Finally I was back in the arena, my own tongue as dry as sandpaper, while I tried to reach a pool of water that receded every time I was about to touch it.

When I woke up from the third nightmare, I stumbled to the bathroom and gulped water from the faucet until I could hold no more. My stomach was roiling around as I leaned back and pressed my forehead against the cold stone tile. The parched feeling from the arena and sweat from the over one hundred degree days forced me to strip off my sweaty clothes and fall back into bed, naked, to somehow manage to find sleep again.

By the time I finally woke up in the early hours of the morning, I'd had another nightmare. My dream had made me coat my bed in sweat and it was repulsive. My nightmare had been me back in the Games. As I seemed to be in the Games in my nightmares all the time. They were the only things that I could dream about recently, with the exception of nightmares about tongues, and I really didn't want to keep dreaming about those. I was trying to find Cato in my most recent dream, but every time that I knew I was getting close I ran into someone I knew.

Both alive and dead. They would stand in my path and wouldn't let me continue to move. I would only have one choice. I had to kill them. Peeta was first with Rue after him. Thresh and Finch were there too. But it wasn't just my dead friends. Prim, Katniss, Gale, and Haymitch had all been there. Effie and Finnick, and even a few of the current Tributes that I didn't know very well. I had taken seventeen lives in my dream just to ultimately find that Cato was already dead, ripped apart by a mutt with glowing green eyes.

It was my worst nightmare, a nightmare that could very likely come true. Doing everything in my power to save Cato, taking innocent lives, just to find that it didn't work. Cato would already be dead. I knew that I had to stop it. I had to do everything in my power to ensure that Cato was going to live through these Games. He had to get back home. He had to make it to his family. He had to be able to live out his life with them. They would miss their boy for a few weeks and then he would be back home.

He would finally be a real Victor from District 2. Not some person that had almost given their life for a little girl from District 12. He could get home to Julie and Skye, too. He could get to be with one of them. They would make such a nice couple, no matter which one of them ended up with him. They were good girls and they both loved him. He would be lucky to be with either one of them. It would be better than being with me. I was damaged goods and I brought death with me wherever I went.

The mere thought of me not being able to get Cato out of the arena broke my heart. He had done so much to ensure that I made it back to my family. He had even risked his life to make sure that I got back home. He had given up everything during the last Games to make sure that I lived. He had even volunteered for these Games to keep me safe during them. While I had been having my meltdown out in the woods Cato had called Haymitch to make sure that he was going to be able to compete in the Games. He had begged Haymitch to sacrifice his life at least an hour before I had ever even thought to save him. I wasn't worthy of him.

It was really time for me to get ready and head down to the training room. I had been late enough last year and I didn't want to repeat it this year. But there were reasons that I wanted to hang out around here and not go back to the dining room. So it made me delay going down to breakfast as long as possible. Mostly because I really didn't want to discuss our training strategy. What was there to discuss? Every Victor already knew what everybody else could do. Or used to be able to do, anyway. So Cato and I would continue to be maddeningly in love and that was that.

Somehow I just wasn't up to talking about it, especially with Darius and Clio standing mutely by. I took a long shower, dressed slowly in the outfit Cinna laid our for training, and ordered food from the menu in my room by speaking into a mouthpiece. In a minute, sausage, eggs, potatoes, bread, juice, and hot chocolate appeared. I ate my fill, trying to drag out the minutes until eight o'clock, when we had to go down to the Training Center. Haymitch eventually started pounding on my door, obviously fed up with me, ordering me to the dining room. Still, I brushed my teeth for as long as I ever had.

And then, just to kill some more time, I decided to change my underwear, shouting back at Haymitch that I wasn't ready yet. I had a feeling that soon enough he would unlock my door and start dragging me out, kicking and screaming. So it was time for me to start getting ready. Sighing at my thoughts, I shook my head and yawned deeply. It was still early in the morning and I knew that it wasn't going to be very long before Effie would start to bang on my door to tell me that it was time for training. Again.

Everything that I was about to go through would be for the second time. Something that I had thought was only possible in my dreams. Well, nightmares. I stood from my bed and walked slowly over to my dresser. Everything was fitted to me and I rolled my eyes. They had made all of these clothes for me almost like a joke. Like they wanted me to believe that I still had a chance to make it out of these Games. But even if I hadn't decided to die for Cato, they would have made sure that I wasn't going to walk out of there. They hated me more than anything. The feelings were mutual.

Pulling the top drawer open, I grabbed a pair of fresh underwear and walked into the bathroom. There was no point in grabbing any clothes. On the counter I knew that there was going to be the training outfit for this year. The lights were piercing my eyes and I groaned. It was stupid how bright they had to make everything in the Capitol. It was unreal. I supposed that was why it made so much sense. The whole Capitol was unreal. Everything that they did and everything that they said.

Deciding to push off having to go outside for another few minutes, I decided to take another shower. I was sweating from all of my thoughts. So I stepped back into the shower. I didn't even bother to look at the training outfit that was laid out for me. I wanted to push it off for another few minutes. The water was already scalding and I sighed with content. It felt fantastic. Back home I had gotten into the shower once with Katniss to help her clean off a wound she had gotten when Gale had mistaken her for an animal. She had hissed in pain when she had felt the water, saying that it was hotter than she could stand.

Perhaps I had forgotten that she hadn't had third degree burns down her entire arm and had a fireball hit her in the leg. After that had happened to me I hadn't realized how hot I showered. I guessed that the heat didn't bother me anymore. A lot of things didn't bother me. Getting clipped by branches, rolling my ankle, getting my hair pulled out, scratching myself with my knife, and hitting my head on the ground when I would fall. Nothing that used to bother me did anymore. The only thing that bothered me anymore was the fact that the Capitol would always get away with whatever they wanted.

Having finally washed all of the sweat off of my body, I walked out. The cold air washed into the bathroom and I shivered slightly. It was freezing. But maybe that was because my water had been well over one hundred degrees. I jumped out of the shower and stood on the plate, letting it dry my hair and body. Once I was completely dried off I grabbed my hair and tied it back into a fishtail braid that fell over my shoulders. My underwear came on next and I finally unfolded my training outfit. It definitely differed from last year's. It was probably because the Tributes were all older. They could get away with making us look a little skimpier.

There were a pair of pants that clung tightly to my legs, even more so than last year. These were almost like a second skin. I pulled them on with great difficulty before smiling at the length. They were like most of my pants back home. They stopped just below my knee. They weren't quite like the full-length pants that I wore last year during training. That would make it easy for me to move. Despite how tight they were, they were rather easy to move. The fabric moved without problem.

There was a strange white diamond over the crotch of the pants and two white lines that extended out over the waist of the pants. The shirt was made of the same material that the pants were and it was a tank top. It had two white lines that went over my shoulders. The shirt was a little looser on me but that was good. It made it a little easier to move around and that was what I needed during training. There was also a jacket but I chose not to wear it to training.

Glancing over myself I gave a small nod before walking out of the bathroom and out into the living room. Only Haymitch was there, whose face was flushed with drink and anger. He was wearing the same outfit that I was. Only his shirt was completely tight over his body and there was no dip in his neckline. He actually looked pretty good. Some muscles were still there and you could hardly see the tiny beer gut he had. On his wrist he wore a solid-gold bangle with a pattern of flames - it must have been his concession to Effie's matching-token plan - that he twisted unhappily.

It was a very handsome bangle, really, but the movement made it seem like something confining, a shackle, rather than a piece of jewelry. "Good morning sweetheart," Haymitch said, as I took a seat at the table.

"Morning," I greeted carelessly.

"You're looking quite dapper this morning. Did you have a long night with your fiancé?"

I rolled my eyes. It was probably a defense mechanism but I didn't want to hear it right now. "Shut up," I snapped.

"I'm sure that you two were just dying to see each other after being apart for so long," Haymitch said, smirking.

It was very hard to resist throwing a roll at his face. "Shut the hell up, Haymitch. Cato and I weren't together that long after the Tribute Parade," I said truthfully. "We said goodnight pretty fast I just had a hard time actually getting to sleep. You might know how that is."

As much as I loved Haymitch, he was so easy to get on my nerves. "Just as hard as it was to wake up this morning?" Haymitch asked irritably.

"Sorry. I slept in after the mutilated-tongue nightmares kept me up half the night," I snarled. I meant to sound hostile, but my voice caught at the end of the sentence.

Haymitch gave me a scowl, then relented. "All right, never mind," Haymitch said.

"At least last year I got to get away from you for a few hours," I groaned, quickly downing some more water.

"Ah, but today you get to spend the entire day with me," Haymitch told me.

"I'm so excited," I said, rolling my eyes once more, trying to resist to let out a little laugh. "Aren't you a lucky one?" Haymitch teased.

"Never felt so lucky," I said.

"Oh, and look. If it isn't the lucky man that gets to spend the rest of his, very short, life with you," Haymitch said.

It was very hard to bite back a nasty comment. "Haymitch!" I barked.

"Aspen," he parroted.

The two of us scowled at each other for a long time as we waited to see what was about to happen. No one else was with him but I assumed that Brutus and Enobaria were working out their own plans down on the second floor. Probably something that they had already talked about with Cato. Now he was here to figure out what we wanted to do in the meantime. We all would have to figure out how to work together. But right now Haymitch and I weren't working out very well. Because that was such a cruel thing to say. And he knew that Cato was going to live through these Games.

His comment finally got through to me and I turned back to see that Cato was coming in through the elevator. Cato smiled at me and I sighed. Part of me wanted to spend every waking moment of the last few days of my life with him but the other part of me wanted to stay away from him. I didn't want the end to be any harder than it had to be. If I stayed away from him for the next few days, maybe killing myself at the end of the Games would be easier. For me, anyways. I knew that no matter what it would hurt him. I would have already known what it was like to not be with the person that I loved.

"Good morning," Cato called to us.

"Good morning," Haymitch said.

I nodded silently at Cato. I wasn't in the mood to talk right now. "Can I speak with you before we have to go downstairs?" Cato asked me.

"Sure."

Downing the last little bit of water that I had in my cup right now, I also finished the hot chocolate that I had near me, and got to my feet. Cato was watching me with a little bit of a smile. It looked like he hadn't slept very much last night. I nodded at Cato and tried to force a smile on my face. He had to believe that everything was going to be alright until the end. He couldn't know what I was planning on doing in just a few short weeks.

"Come on. We can go to the rooftop garden," I told Cato.

"Alright," he said.

It was a good place for the two of us. We'd come a long way when we were up here. It had also been where we'd shared our first real kiss. The first kiss that I had been aware of and the first kiss that I had wanted more than anything. I grabbed Cato's hand and dragged the two of us up onto the rooftop garden, where we were finally left alone. It was a little creepy being here where Seneca had been last night, but at least I was with Cato. I looked over his body and smiled. His outfit was identical to Haymitch's but Cato filled it out better. He looked even stronger than the first time that I had seen him in a training outfit.

"You look good in it," I commented.

"So do you," Cato said, grinning at me and placing a hand on my hips. He leaned forward and pressed a kiss against my throat. "You'd look better out of it."

"Considering that we have training in twenty minutes, we don't have time," I said.

"Damn it."

"Come by tonight."

"Nice offer," Cato teased, walking over with me towards the ledge. We leaned out over when Cato stood behind me, placing his chin gently on the top of my head and placing his arms on either side of my torso. "I need to tell you something that I saw on the way to the Capitol. After the Reaping."

"What?" I asked curiously.

"There were some... boxes on fire. I'm not sure what they were. It was just outside of the hydroelectric dam before you get into the Capitol."

"I know what you're talking about."

"There was something spray-painted on the walls."

"What?" I asked, now very intrigued.

"There were sayings, writings, everywhere. Your Mockingjay in black and red. And, right at the bottom of one of the walls, it said it. The odds are never in our favor," Cato whispered.

For a long time Cato just let his words process. Things were getting even worse than I had thought that they were. I had thought with the Quarter Quell that people would realize how powerless they were and everything would go back to normal. But I should have known better. The events that I had thrown into motion - ever since revealing those knives - were never going back. The uprising was coming. I just had to make sure that my death, before the rebellion would be able to really pick up speed, meant something.

"They're fighting back. It's getting worse," I muttered.

"Or better, depending on how you look at it," Cato said.

"Maybe. But I just... I don't want anymore people to die."

"They're dying for something that they believe in."

Cato pressed a kiss on the top of my head. "It isn't that I'm not glad to see you before we have to go back to reality," I started.

"The Games aren't reality."

"They are for us now," I said slowly. "But why did you come here?"

"I had to, Aspen."

"You didn't. I would have thought that Brutus was going to take this time to ensure that you actually kill me this time," I told Cato.

He smiled at me and shook his head. I could feel his jaw pressing against my skull. It made me laugh under my breath. It was nice to have him with me again. I missed the days that he had been around during the Victory Tour. Only if we would have been a little happier during it. Cato seemed to be in a joking mood but he knew that I wasn't. I was very rarely in a joking mood these days. And I was going to take this seriously. Until I took my last breath.

"You know, believe it or not, Brutus actually wants me to leave you alone this time around," Cato said.

"Really?" I asked.

"Yes."

"And will you?"

"Never," Cato teased, pressing into me again. "He wants us to play it exactly the way that we are."

"What's that?" I asked stupidly.

"Two kids in love that got everything that they didn't deserve," Cato said.

And he was right about that. That was pretty much exactly the way that it was. We didn't get enough time together. "Maybe one day you'll get a chance to have a real life," I said.

"Not without you."

"Cato..."

"Come here," Cato told me. I turned back and stood against him, letting him wrap his open arms around me. I drank in his scent and let him hold me tightly. "Are you alright?"

Was I alright? No. There was no chance that I would be okay ever again. I would die long before I was ever alright again. So I laughed humorlessly and shook my head, pressing my forehead down into his chest. Did he honestly think that everything was alright? That I was alright? I was never going to be alright. I would be alright when I knew that it was going to be alright when I died, knowing that Cato was the only Tribute left and he would have the potential to have a good life.

"Come on, now. I love you, but that's a stupid question. Of course I'm not alright," I told Cato, who nodded at me.

"I know. I'm not okay either."

"I'm so sorry, Cato. I dragged you into this."

"No, you didn't. Enough with the knives. We _both_ did it. _I_ did it. Ultimately I chose to help you. To be with you. Always. Until the end," Cato said, pressing another kiss against my temple.

"I didn't want to be here but I knew that I had to. The only solace I had in the fact that I was coming back to the Games was that you weren't. Or at least you didn't have to. But you did. You took Brutus's place here so that you could come here yourself. I hate that you did it," I told him softly.

In all honesty I wanted to hate him. I wanted to hate him more than anything. I wanted to hate that he had done something like that. But I couldn't. There was no way that I could ever hate Cato. Because he had always been there to help me. Cato sighed at me and shook his head. He grabbed my hands and I pulled them back softly. I didn't want to offend him but I wasn't sure if I could stand touching him right now. Not if it meant that in a few days I would never touch him again. He would never touch me again.

"You knew that I had to. Aspen, the second that I heard the news I knew that it had to be me that was in here with you. Do you want to know why?" Cato asked.

We both hesitated. "Yes," I finally said weakly, nodding at him.

Some part of me wanted to know. "I told you something when we were in the first Games. Do you remember what it was?" Cato asked.

"No," I said weakly.

"I told you that you were my redeeming quality. You still are. You always will be," Cato said, grabbing my hands back.

"And you're mine," I said weakly.

"Even long after I'm gone," Cato whispered, ignoring my last comment, and pressed his lips against my forehead.

I sighed and shook my head, pushing back from him. He looked a little hurt but said nothing. "Cato, please don't say that. You aren't ever going to be gone," I told him.

I knew that he was going to argue with me but I didn't want to hear anything. "Aspen..." Cato sighed.

"I came here with one mission and that was to make sure that you got out of here alive. I've done some awful things to you before and this is my one chance to make it up to you," I said.

He actually let out a little smile. Cato shook his head and I smiled sadly at him. There was something desperate in the way that we were speaking to each other. Cato might have thought that everything that I had done was to keep myself alive, but he didn't know the half of it. He didn't know about Seneca Crane, he didn't know about his family, or President Snow's threat. There were so many things that he didn't know. He didn't know how bad things really were.

"You have nothing to make up to me. There's nothing that you're ever going to have to make up to me. I know why you did everything that you did. That doesn't matter to me. All that matters is that I make sure that you get the life that you deserve," Cato said.

"I don't deserve anything."

"You do. All of your life has been ruined by the Capitol and everything that they've done. They can't take anything more from you," Cato said, making me scoff.

"There is so much that they can still take away from me. You, for starters," I said honestly.

"Don't. You deserve better than me. You're going to win these Games and go home. You'll never lose anything again," Cato promised.

He really didn't understand that the Capitol still had one of the most important things in my life to hang over my head. "I don't think that you understand something here. The Capitol has taken almost everything from me. There are only a few things that matter to me left," I told him. "My home." District 12 meant the world to me. "The Everdeen's and the Hawthorne's. There's only one other thing that matters to me."

Cato grinned. He knew exactly who I was talking about. "Yes, I know," Cato said softly.

"You. If I win that means that you die. And then the Capitol will have taken everything from me," I said truthfully.

"Not everything," Cato whispered.

"I can't move on from you," I told him, fighting back tears.

The last thing that I wanted was to cry right here in front of him and I had to resist it. I didn't need to look like a blubbering fool when I went down to training in a few minutes. It was too late to try any strategy like that. I just had to calm down and try and remind myself that Cato wasn't the one that was going to die. It was going to be me. And then I would never have to be heartbroken like this again. He could move on. I couldn't.

"You will. I know that you will," Cato said.

I shook my head. I wasn't the one that was going to live. He was. "I can't, Cato. I can't," I whispered.

"I want to tell you my dying wish," Cato said.

I wasn't sure that I wanted to hear it, but I knew that he was going to tell me no matter what. "Okay," I said weakly, conceding with what he wanted.

"My dying wish is that you get to have the life that you deserve. I want you to have all of the riches that you deserve. I want you to live in your dream home and never have to work a day in your life. I want you to be with Gale," Cato continued.

My heart nearly stopped. What did he just say? "What?" I asked, feeling almost numb.

"I want you to be with a man that has never hurt you," Cato said softly.

As much as I loved Gale I knew that there was no way that I would ever want to marry him. Maybe I had at one point, but not after Cato. There was no way that I could ever move on after Cato. "You've never hurt me," I said.

"Are you kidding me? I've hurt you so many times."

"No. You saved my life."

"He can give you one."

"No. I love Gale so much but not the way that I love you. I grew up thinking that he was going to be the man that I was going to marry him," I said.

Cato gave me a soft smile. "You still can," Cato said.

"Not anymore. Because then I went into the Games and I met you. Everything changed after that. I denied my feelings for you for forever. But I knew that after a while I couldn't anymore. I love you. The engagement might have been a fake but it doesn't mean for a second that I wouldn't marry you," I said.

"I know that, Aspen," Cato said.

"If you die, I won't know how to move on," I said softly, fighting back tears again.

Grabbing my hand softly, Cato kissed the back of it. My heart was fluttering erratically as he moved my hand over and kissed the side of my wrist. He tugged me into him and I grinned up at him. Even the simplest movements that he made reminded me of how in love with him I really was. And how much I needed him. I smiled at him and nearly laughed. These were the moments that I treasured when we were alone. When I saw the man that he really was.

"You're going to have to," Cato finally said.

"There's no way that I could," I said honestly.

"I'm going to die to make sure that you get to live on. You need to be with him after this is over. He would never hurt you," Cato said.

I slowly nodded. He was right about that. "But I can't be with him. I need you," I whispered, so softly that I wasn't even sure that he could hear me.

"Aspen, I hurt you more than I would ever care to admit," Cato said.

"You didn't hurt me. You've never hurt me."

It was only acting. His hand was forced. I knew that. "I have, Aspen. All of the times in the Games, before and after. I've hurt you too much," Cato said slowly.

"You haven't," I whispered.

"I love you. I wish that we would have worked out," Cato said, brushing the hair back off of my forehead. "I wish that more than anything. I would have married you. Without hesitation. Just know, you are the only person that I've ever loved. You are the only person that I could ever love."

"Me too," I whispered.

A tear slipped out of the corner of my eye. He was the only person that I could be with. Forever and always. There would never be anyone else. Cato wiped the tear away with his thumb and I shook my head at him. This was so much harder than I wanted it to be. I just wanted to go in and die in the arena. Get this all over with. Let Cato live in peace. Make President Snow and Seneca Crane happy. That was all that anyone needed.

"You're the only person that I've ever loved too. And, just know, I'm not going to let you die that easy," I said.

"I know, Aspen."

"I love you. And marrying you would have made me happier than anything else," I said.

"I love you, too. You would have looked beautiful in a wedding dress. But I like you even more like this," Cato teased.

We both laughed as Cato leaned over and pulled me into him as tight as he could. He smiled down at me. I grabbed him by the top of his shirt and he came crashing into me, grabbing my hair and pulling me the rest of the way into him. Our lips moved together for a moment and I leaned all the way up to his mouth. His arms were possessively tight around me and I sighed into his mouth. His hands tangled in my hair for many long moments before he finally let go of me. I leaned into him and gave him one more kiss before smiling pathetically and pulling away from him.

"Come on. We can't stay up here forever. As much as I'd love to," I said.

Pulling his arm towards the door so that we wouldn't be late for training, I was about to walk back into the hallway to head back to the living room for the District 12 common area. Just before I got to the door though, Cato pulled me back by my hand and pushed me into the wall. I was about to tell him that we had to go downstairs but I found myself unable - anything more than to let out a little pip of fear and surprise - to talk as he pinned me back against the wall and pressed his mouth to my own.

The breath escaped my lungs as I was pushed back onto the wall. I giggled into his mouth and smiled as one of his hands ran its way down my back and the other grabbed my spare hand in his, pushing it back against the wall. It wasn't long before one of his hands wound their way down my body and underneath my shirt. I blushed slightly as he started pulling me flush against him, pressing our bodies together. His fingers were digging into my skin, holding me and marking up my hips. But I didn't mind, because too many of these days had been stolen from us.

We stayed trapped together like that for a few more minutes, his hands working their way softly over me, and mine trapped by his body. More than anything I wanted to pull him into the back of the greenhouse to have my way with him, but I knew that Haymitch would have had a cow if we did. We would have stayed like that forever if we could have, and gone further, but I heard the tolling of the bells that signaled that the first day of training was about to begin. I sighed and pushed Cato off of me hesitantly, the two of us heading into the living room with our lips swelled and hair slightly mussed.

We walked into the living room and I sighed. I knew that there wasn't going to be very many more times that I could be in here before I would never walk through these halls again. It wasn't like last year. I had no hope to come back. There wasn't going to be any chance to come back here and live as a Victor. Be damned what Cato thought that he was going to do. I was going to kill myself and make sure that Cato was the one to live. We walked into the living room and I saw that Haymitch was ready to leave. He pushed us towards the elevator and I waited as Haymitch pushed the button.

"Now I know how hard it might be for you but there's something that you have to hear before you go down there. Remember, Aspen, today's about making allies," Haymitch said.

"No," I said.

Haymitch ignored my comment. "Today, in training, you've got two jobs. One, stay in love," Haymitch said, giving us a very pointed look that said to hold hands, which we immediately did.

"Obviously," I said blandly.

"And two, make some friends," Haymitch ordered.

"No. We've already had this discussion. I don't trust any of them, I can't stand most of them, and I'd rather operate with just the two of us. Three of us," I corrected myself.

"That's what I said at first, but -" Cato began.

"But it won't be enough. You're going to need more allies this time around," Haymitch said.

"Why?" I asked.

"Do you ever listen?" Haymitch snapped.

"No. You annoy me," I said honestly.

"Shut your mouth. Because you're at a distinct disadvantage. Your competitors have known each other for years. So who do you think they're going to target first?" Haymitch said.

"Us. And nothing we're going to do is going to override any old friendship. So why bother?" I asked.

"Because you can fight. You're popular with the crowd. That could still make you desirable allies. But only if you let the others know you're willing to team up with them," Haymitch said.

"You mean you want us in the Career pack this year?" I asked, unable to hide my distaste.

Obviously Cato heard it in my voice too. He turned to me and gave me a tiny scowl. But I didn't really look at him. He knew that, despite the fact that I loved him, I had never been fond of the Careers or their fascination with the Games. That was why I liked seeing Cato away from them so much in the past. Traditionally the Tributes from Districts 1, 2, and 4 would join forces, possibly taking in a few other exceptional fighters, like they had tried to do with Thresh and me, and hunt down the weaker competitors.

"That's been our strategy, hasn't it? To train like Careers? And who makes up the Career pack is generally agreed upon before the Games begin. Cato already has an in with them," Haymitch said.

"But he won't be the ruler this year. There aren't going to be any leaders this year. We're all adults and Victors. Everyone's going to be stepping on each other with this," I said.

"You should think about joining them. They'll happily take Cato. And you're good enough for them to take you too. But you'll have to at least be friendly. Peeta barely got in with them last year," Haymitch said.

I thought of the loathing I felt when I discovered Peeta was with the Careers during the last Games. "Well we all know why they took him in," I seethed. "Clove, Coral, Marvel, and Glimmer wanted me dead, which Peeta was promising to help with. But Cato and Peeta were trying to keep me away from the Careers for their own reasons."

"This year is different. We all need to learn to work together," Haymitch said.

"So we're to try to get in with Enobaria and Gloss - is that what you're saying?" I asked.

"Not necessarily. Everyone's a Victor. Make your own pack if you'd rather. Choose who you like. I'd suggest Chaff and Seeder. Although Finnick's not to be ignored. Find someone to team up with who might be of some use to you. Remember, you're not in a ring full of trembling children anymore. These people are all experienced killers, no matter what shape they appear to be in," Haymitch advised.

Maybe he was right. Maybe there was a chance that we needed to take on some more allies. Only who could I trust? I would have to wait a few days for training to see who I could possibly take. Seeder, maybe. She seemed strong and had been reliable enough last night. I trusted her not to stab me or Cato in her sleep. But did I really want to make a pact with her, only to possibly have to kill her later? No. Still, I made a pact with Rue under the same circumstances. I ended up telling Haymitch that I would try, even though I thought that I would be pretty bad at the whole thing.

In fact I knew that I would be really bad at it. Making friends had never been my forte. It probably never would be. I was always shocked enough that Cato had even liked me. There wasn't really anyone that I wanted so far. There was only one person that I knew for a fact that I wanted. Finnick. He was really the only one that I knew without a doubt that I would want with me during these Games. Besides Haymitch and Cato. There was probably more people that I would be curious about, but I wasn't sure.

"So far I'm not overwhelmed by our choices. Most of these people are fifty or over and the ones that aren't are about ready to take my head off," I said.

Haymitch nodded and tipped a drink back. "You're not wrong about that," Cato said.

"I don't think there's much to think about when it comes to allies for these Games," I said, with a little scoff.

It wasn't like I was telling a lie there. Most of the people were weak and older. They hadn't been in the Games in years and they didn't really remember much about what it was like when they had been there. They were too old to actually be useful to me. The people that weren't about ready to fall apart were all people that would probably be waiting their turn to kill me. Like Johanna, Gloss, and Cashmere. I wouldn't be shocked if everyone just headed straight to me when the countdown ended. I might have to make a run for it. I could have Cato grab my things for me. But then I would be risking him.

"You actually aren't wrong about that one. I guess we just try to figure out who we trust least and work our way backwards from there," Cato finally said.

That was probably the best move. "Works for me. Come on, you two. We need to get out there," I said.

Effie showed up a bit early to take us down because last year, even though we were on time, Peeta and I were the last two tributes to show up. But Haymitch told her that he didn't want her taking us down to the gym. None of the other Victors would be showing up with a babysitter, and being the youngest, it was even more important that we looked self-reliant. So she had to satisfy herself with taking us to the elevator, fussing over our hair, and pushing the button for us.

The elevator bell rang out after a few seconds, stating that we were on the bottom floor. "I do not want to be the last Tributes there for a second year in a row. It was awkward enough the first time. I certainly don't want more eyes on me from more people that want to kill me," I told Haymitch.

Cato laughed at my side and I rolled my eyes at him. When I had been late, he had been the one to look at me like I was his dinner. We walked down the long hallway that I had hoped that I would never see again and I pushed the door open. Effie needn't have worried about us being the last to arrive. Only Gloss, Cashmere, and Enobaria were present. She was flashing her smiling teeth everywhere. My hands were already sweating when I spotted her glare. She might have not been fond of me, and the thoughts were shared, but she had no shortage of admirers in the Capitol.

By eight o'clock, when training was actually ready to begin, almost all of the Tributes appeared. But there were still four or five Tributes who were missing. It was a little strange to see. I had always thought that Tributes were required to be at training. Apparently that was just another lie that the Capitol had fed us over the years. Atala, the woman who ran the training program began her spiel right on time. She didn't seem unfazed by the low attendance. Maybe she expected it. I was sort of relieved, because it meant that there were a few people that I didn't have to pretend to make friends with.

When she started her speech I left Cato's side and headed over to my circle. As expected, everyone was glaring daggers at me. Whether or not they were young or old. Maybe no allies really were the right idea. I was still curious about the people who weren't around right now. What were they doing? Something important or something useless? I guessed that they didn't want to waste the last few days of their lives training for something that they couldn't win.

I took my spot on the circle next to Cato and glanced up at where Atala was standing. "Welcome back, Tributes. Many of you already know what I want to say," Atala said. I did not want to be back here. "But for those of you that haven't been here in a little while, let me explain to you all once more. Training will go over three days and each day will have two compulsory exercises. The rest is individual training. As you all must know it is a wise idea to not ignore the survival skills. But I'm sure that I shouldn't have to tell you that." She looked straight at me. I flicked her off discretely and stood with my hip cocked. "Other than that, please ensure to learn about these new systems. Everything has been updated to make it as perfect as we can. Go on, get working."

Tributes immediately moved off to where they wanted to go and I knew that it meant that no one would be hiding their strengths this year. We could all easily watch videos and see what the Tributes were the best at. I watched as Gloss and Cashmere went off together before splitting. Gloss went off to one of the knife throwing station and Cashmere went off to the one across from him. Beetee and Wiress both headed over to the survival stations, where I had anticipated them to be. Enobaria was working with short swords and I nodded at her. She was pretty good with them. Finnick was working with the spears that looked a bit like tridents and Mags was working with some fishing line. Everyone seemed to have their niche.

Cato's voice shook me from my thoughts and I glanced up to him. Haymitch had already left and I noticed that he was heading over to where Chaff was working with some fire. It looked like he was trying to learn how to make one with only one hand. At least he was trying. I had a feeling that Chaff wouldn't go down without a fight. It was almost nice to see. But he would just make another competitor for me this year. Another obstacle in my way of getting Cato home.

"So where should we go?" Cato asked.

I glanced up to him. Just like last year, I was standing here stupidly, trying to look around at everything. I wanted to know what I could do this year. Where I would shine. But I also wanted a look at my competition. "I'm thinking of doing a survival station. Just watch everyone for a while," I said honestly.

"Maybe not a bad idea. Looks like there are a lot of options this year. It's even more incredible than it was last year. I can't believe that they did all of this just because they have the best Tributes back," Cato said.

Glancing around the training room I realized that he was completely right. Everything was so much better than it had been the past year. As strange as it was, everything seemed so much more mechanical this year. The Gamemakers were still in their box as they normally were. But instead of Seneca Crane sitting in the Head Gamemaker chair, it was Plutarch Heavensbee. They were both smiling at me and I looked away with the shake of my head. It was unnerving to look at them. I didn't like that they knew everything about me. But still, I noticed that it was the only thing that looked the same.

Looking around, I checked out all of the new training areas. Instead of there being spattered reds and blues around the training room like last year, there were absolutely no colors anywhere. Everyone was matching the training rooms. It seemed like everything was grey and black. It was even more depressing than it was last year. The hand to hand combat area had been replaced with what seemed to be a hand-to-weapon area. Trainers were in full padded uniforms and Tributes were fighting with them with whatever weapon that they wanted.

Enobaria was there currently with a small sword. The wooded areas that were the same as the platforms as last year looked even more real. The Gauntlet was completely black and looked a little slippery. All of the weapons areas were inside of virtual reality areas. Each yellow laser that worked inside of the virtual reality area followed each Tribute and sent out holographic people that ran like real Tributes and threw fake weapons. It was a good way to train for a real fight. I could only imagine how much money the Capitol had spent on making the training room this year.

Cato nudged me gently and I looked away from everything. This was the most impressive I had ever seen this stupid place. "I can. This might be impressive but it doesn't make it any better that they have us here. I can't stand this," I hissed.

Cato led me out of the center of the room and into the corner, near the sword training area. "I know. But we might as well make use of the time that we have," Cato said.

"This is ridiculous, everything that they have us doing just to make these Games impressive. It's sickening. Once more, we're just their puppets," I said softly.

Peacekeepers were everywhere around me and the last thing that I wanted was to do was make them mad. They all hated me enough. They had to have been betting on when I would die this year. Cato shook his head at me and I knew that he wanted to get a sword back in his hand. Some part of him probably wanted to use one again. But I knew that he wanted to be ready to save my life. But I wanted to make sure that I was the one that was going to save his life.

"Unfortunately right now we have to be their puppets," Cato said.

"I know," I said, rolling my eyes.

He was right but that wasn't something that I wanted to do. "It's the one thing that we have to do. Until we get into the arena, we have to do whatever they tell us to. And once we're in there, well... last year is going to be child's play," Cato said.

"That's true. Haymitch already told me the same thing," I said.

He was right about that one thing. Last year was nothing. This year they were going to make sure that we were all dead within five days, at the most. This was going to be the biggest nightmare of our lives. "So, now, where should we go?" Cato asked.

Glancing over to where the fire building station was, I noticed a Tribute that I was itching to get the chance to talk to. "Why don't you go ahead to the swords or hand-to-hand or something like that?" I asked him.

"Sure," he said.

I could tell that Cato was curious where I was going. "There's something that I need to take care of really fast," I said.

"Okay," Cato said, not looking completely convinced that he believed me. "Make friends today."

"Whatever. Hey. I love you," I told Cato, before he walked away.

"I love you, too," Cato said.

He gave me a small kiss and headed over to pick up the biggest sword on the rack. One thing was the truth. We were better splitting up so that we could cover more territory between the two of us. I did stop long enough to see what he had decided to do. When he went off to chuck spears with Gloss and Chaff, I headed over to the knot-tying station. Hardly anyone ever bothered to visit it. But I liked the trainer and he remembered me fondly, maybe because I spent time with him last year. He was pleased when I showed him that I could still set the trap that left an enemy dangling by a leg from a tree.

While he allowed me to work on a few more knots as he went off to help one of the other Tributes, I glanced off around the room. Gloss was throwing knife after knife, overhanded and underhanded and over his shoulder at the yellow holograms. Not one missed. When he and Cashmere held one each, they both threw, hitting crossing yellow holograms and effectively killing both. Johanna was practicing her swings with an axe and gave me a vicious smile when she lodged the sharp blade into the mats.

Walking past her, refusing to acknowledge that she had even made me blink, I watched Cato send a spear into one of the yellow holograms hearts without issue. That was the Career that I had been so frightened of last year. Enobaria was jumping over platforms and swinging out a sword at a trainer with a padded bat. She stopped long enough to grin at me and flash her pointy teeth, giving me something akin to a hiss.

Rolling my eyes I glanced away and started going back over the knots. The trainer spent a fair amount of time with me so that I could watch what he was doing and follow it exactly. Clearly he took note of my snares in the arena last year and now saw me as an advanced pupil, so I asked him to review every kind of knot that might come in handy and a few that I would probably never use. He eventually left me be at a station where I was standing in front of lengths of ropes and following a screen with directions on how to do square knot.

I would have been content to spend the whole morning alone with him, but after an hour and a half, someone put his arm around me from behind. "Here," Finnick said. I jumped backwards and out of his arms as he grabbed the rope. He started laughing at me as he glanced up. "I'm sorry. I'm really sorry."

"You look sorry," I commented, noting that he was still laughing.

He glanced back down and started to undo my knot. "Here," Finnick said, restarting the knot but looking at me. "Let me show you the best knot to know in the arena." I folded my arms over my chest and stared at him. "Don't look at me. Look at the knot." Finnick started laughing again. "All right. This is the bit where it gets quite complicated."

Finnick had spent his entire life on boats with rope that he was so good with it. If the trainer had thought that I was good, I was nothing compared to Finnick, who knew exactly what to do. He finished off the knot by wrapping it around a loop a few times and tightening it. That was when I realized that the knot that he was forming was a noose. He looped it tightly before fitting it around his neck and tightening it slightly. He made a choking noise as he tightened it all the way and lifted the rope above his head.

"And that's... that's really," Finnick trailed off, shrugging his shoulders.

I couldn't help the little grin that fell over my face. "Funny," I said, rolling my eyes.

Finnick held the end of the rope up to me. "Do you want to take me for a walk?" he asked.

Snorting under my breath, I rolled my eyes and walked off. It was easy to see that Cato was one of the most popular people here. He had a number of other Tributes around him. Right now he had a few from District 5, 10, and 11 around him, and it looked like District 1 was about to join. I watched Cato at the sword fighting station for a moment and narrowed my eyes. In the past few months he had bulked up quite a bit. Had he somehow been tipped off that we might be coming back into the Capitol? And not as a Mentor? That was the only thing that I could think of. Or maybe he, like me, had started training after the announcement.

Shaking my head, I walked up to the fire making station and took a spot next to Beetee and Wiress. For a while I thought about what I wanted to say. He wasn't looking at me so I had time. I already made excellent fires, but I was still pretty dependent on matches for starting them. And I needed to make sure that I could make them without it. So the trainer had me work with flint, steel, and some charred cloth. That was much harder than it looked, and even working as intently as I could, it took me about an hour to get a fire going. I looked up with a triumphant smile only to find that now I had company.

The two tributes from District 3, Wiress and Beetee, were now standing besides me, struggling to start a decent fire with matches. I would have thought that they would be very good at it, considering that they were used to building things. I thought about leaving, but I really wanted to try using the flint again, and, since Haymitch was watching me to make sure that I was at least trying to make friends, these two might have been a bearable choice.

Both are rather small in stature with ashen skin and black hair. The woman, Wiress, was probably around Ms. Everdeen's age and spoke in a quiet, intelligent voice. She seemed much friendlier than half of the Tributes that I'd seen around. Although I wasn't sure about how she had managed to win her Games, and I had a feeling that asking would have been rude. But right away I noticed that she had a habit of dropping off her words in mid-sentence, as if she had forgotten that you were there.

Beetee, the man, was older and somewhat fidgety. He wore glasses but spent a lot of time looking under them so that he was trying to look a little closer at something. They were both a little strange, but I was pretty sure neither one of them was going to try to make me uncomfortable by stripping naked. And they were from District 3. Maybe they could even confirm my suspicions of an uprising there.

I glanced around the Training Center as I worked. Cato was at the center of a ribald circle of knife throwers. The Morphlings from District 6 were in the camouflage station, painting each other's faces with bright pink swirls. The male tribute from District 5 was vomiting wine on the sword-fighting floor. Finnick and Mags were using the archery station. Finnick wasn't half-bad. Johanna Mason was naked again and oiling her skin down for a wrestling lesson. I decided to stay put.

Beetee was smiling next to me. He was working very hard with Wiress to get a fire started. "Aspen Antaeus," Beetee said.

I wasn't shocked that he knew my name. "Beetee Latier," I said, holding my hand out to Beetee. He grabbed it and gave me a quick shake. "You have no idea how nice it is to finally meet you. I've heard so much about you through all of the years. I've been excited to meet you since I found out that you were going to be into these Games."

"I appreciate those words Aspen," Beetee told me.

"I only speak the truth," I said.

"The moment that I knew that you would be here as well I was excited to get to speak with you," Beetee continued.

"Is that so?" I asked.

"You always seemed like the good type for a conversation," Beetee said.

He was a polite man, just like I had thought that he would be. "Thank you. By the way, those sticks are wet. You won't be able to start the fire like that. May I?" I offered.

"Of course."

Taking the wet sticks away from him, I replaced them with two dry and relatively sturdy sticks. That would work much better. He took them and went back to what he had been doing before. He began striking and swirling them together the same way that I had been and I tilted my head to the side. He was very close to getting a fire going. I assumed that he hadn't done much fire building during his own Games. Or maybe he'd just forgotten.

"Friction generates heat. Heat generates fire. In theory," Beetee told us.

"You should move your hands downward. And faster, too," I said awkwardly, trying to not to offend him.

He followed my instruction without problem. "A little brute force..." Beetee started as the first wisp of smoke rose, making Wiress gasp and me smile.

"Is always helpful," Wiress finished.

The tiniest of flames finally engulfed the bottom half of the stick and I watched as Beetee began to feed the fire. The fact that the sticks were wet made me wonder if this year the arena would be wet. Maybe we would have a swamp type arena, like the year that my father had competed in. Or maybe it would be an ocean and we would have to drown each other to win. Either way, I didn't like what I was thinking about. I had to push the Games out of my head for as long as I possible could.

"Thank you," Beetee said, motioning down to the fire that was steadily burning.

"You're welcome," I said, helping feed the fire a little more. I helped by throwing some kindling onto the fire and watched as it burned, the smoke being pulled out of the building by the vents.

Wiress and Beetee ended up making decent company. Actually it was more than just being decent. I ended up really enjoying speaking to them. There was no doubt that I was the least intelligent of them, but they didn't make mention of it. They seemed friendly enough but didn't pry. We talked about our talents; they told me that they both invented things, which made my supposed interest in fashion seem pretty weak. I did enjoy hearing how Beetee had designed the whole broadcasting system in the Capitol. Wiress brought up some sort of stitching device she was working on.

"It senses the density of the fabric and selects the strength," Wiress said, and then became absorbed in a bit of dry straw before she could go on.

"The strength of the thread," Beetee finished explaining. "Automatically. It rules out human error."

"That's pretty cool," I said honestly.

It was nice to just chat between the three of us. We felt like old friends, not like people who were about to go into the Hunger Games to compete against each other in a fight to the death. Then Beetee talked about his recent success creating a musical chip that was tiny enough to be concealed in a flake of glitter but could hold hours of songs. It fascinated me. I remembered Octavia talking about that during the wedding shoot, and I saw a possible chance to allude to the uprising.

"Oh, yeah. My Prep Team was all upset a few months ago, I think, because they couldn't get hold of that. I guess a lot of orders from District Three were getting backed up," I said casually.

Beetee examined me from under his glasses. "Yes. Did you have any similar backups in coal production, this year?" Beetee asked.

He had to have known what I was getting at. "No. Well, we lost a couple of weeks when they brought in a new Head Peacekeeper and his crew, but nothing major. To production, I mean. Two weeks sitting around your house doing nothing just means two weeks of being hungry for most people," I said.

I was reasonably sure that they understood what I was trying to say. That we had had no uprising. "Oh. That's a shame," Wiress said in a slightly disappointed voice. "I found your District very..." She trailed off, distracted by something in her head.

"Interesting. We both did," Beetee filled in..

I felt bad, knowing that their District must have suffered much worse than ours. I felt like I had to defend my people. "Well, there aren't very many of us in Twelve. Not that you'd know it nowadays by the size of the Peacekeeping force. But I guess we're interesting enough," I said.

As we moved over to the shelter station, after having working with the fires for at least an hour, Wiress stopped and gazed up at the stands where the Gamemakers were roaming around, eating and drinking, sometimes taking notice of us. They looked far less interested in us than they had last year. Maybe because they knew the truth of what we were doing these Games for - just to get rid of the Victors - or maybe it was because they already knew what we were capable of.

"Look," Wiress said, giving her head a slight nod in their direction.

So I looked up and saw Plutarch Heavensbee in the magnificent purple robe with the fur-trimmed collar that designated him as Head Gamemaker. He was currently eating a turkey leg and hadn't so much as looked at my direction since training had begun. He seemed far less interested in me now than he had been at President Snow's party during the Victory Tour. Although Seneca Crane was watching me. Not excitedly as he had last year, but more just curious and scrutinizing.

"That's Plutarch Heavensbee. The new Head Gamemaker," I said.

"No, no," Wiress said.

"I'd like to see if you're as intelligent as I believe that you are. Look there," Beetee said, motioning to the Gamemaker box. "By the corner of the table."

Part of me wanted to pretend to see what he was talking about but I decided that honesty was the best option here. I had no idea what he was talking about. The only things that I saw were the Gamemakers. No matter how hard I looked. Everything looked exactly the same to me and I couldn't see anything. So what was I missing? Because obviously Beetee and Wiress had spotted it without problem.

"Plutarch? Seneca Crane? One of the other Gamemakers?" I asked. Beetee laughed at me. Clearly I wasn't guessing right. But I hadn't thought that I was going to be right. It was only a dumb guess. "You know, I'm not overly fond of any of them up there. We have history."

We both smiled at each other. I noticed that even Wiress let out a little bit of a giggle at my words. If nothing else, at least Beetee thought that I was funny. Wiress finally turned her look away from the Gamemakers box and I noticed that she was smiling along with Beetee. It was nice to have her here. I wasn't really sure if I trusted her or not, but I did like her. I just wanted to hear her talk more. But she didn't strike me as the type to have a conversation. At least Beetee was talking.

"Unfortunately for us, we all have history with the men and women up there," Beetee said.

He was right about that. I hadn't thought of it that way. It was selfish but I had forgotten that everyone in here had been in this position once before. "That's true," I muttered.

"Good guess, but that wasn't what I meant. No. Next to him. It's a force field. I believe that your Mentor, and current District partner, has a good history with them," Beetee told me.

"I think Haymitch might have a few other words for them. But I have to ask, even though it might be stupid, how do you know?" I asked Beetee.

Shaking his head at me, Beetee smiled at me and grabbed my arm, pushing me to look a little closer to the edge of the Gamemaker booth. "It isn't stupid at all. Very few people actually know how to tell where the force field is. It was something that I learned during my first time here. It was something that I made a note to never forget," Beetee said.

That made perfect sense to me. If I learned how to see the force field I would never want to forget it either. "I still don't see it," I muttered dumbly.

"The shimmering. Top left hand side. Look. There. You see it?" Beetee asked.

He gently pushed my chin to the side so that I could look a little better. I looked right where he was pointing me to and followed where his hand was pointing me and smiled. I did see it. But you had to look closely for it. Just in the bottom corner of the Gamemaker box, right underneath Plutarch Heavensbee, was a small shimmer. As I looked to the side of it I realized that you could see it the entire way through. You just had to find the shimmering first.

"Looks like glass," I said.

"To separate us and them," Wiress said.

There was a force field separating us this year. I could only imagine why they had done that. As far as I knew it was something that they had never done before. There had never been any need before. Until now. It was probably because of my little stunt last year. I was sure that they didn't want to risk it again this year. They probably thought that I would kill either Seneca Crane or Plutarch Heavensbee. They were probably right.

"Probably my fault. Actually, that is definitely my fault," I said. Beetee glanced up to me, curiously. "They laughed at me last year and I threw a few knives at them. One at the apple in the pig's mouth, one over Seneca Crane's head, and one at a light. Then I shot an arrow in between one of the Gamemakers' fingers," I explained to them.

Beetee laughed heartily and I smiled. Even Wiress was giggling at my admission. At least someone thought that I was funny. No one else ever seemed to think that I was funny. Especially not Haymitch. At least someone thought that what I had done was funny and not brave, stupid, or rude. It was nice for a new perspective on it.

"That's extremely impressive. I can see why you earned that twelve last year. Seems like in every way you deserved it," Beetee said.

"Thank you," I said.

I wasn't sure if I deserved the twelve that I had gotten in training, but it had gotten me some amazing Sponsors. "As for the force field. It's electromagnetic. That's why you don't want to touch it. Either it will electrocute you or just hurt," Beetee explained.

I knew that force fields had killed people before. It was relatively common in the Games when people got too close to the outer edges of the arena and the Gamemakers didn't want to waste another Tribute or mutt on them. They would just let them walk into the force field. Particularly if they were troublemakers. Come to think of it, I was lucky that it had never happened to me.

"I'm guessing that not all force fields are electromagnetic," I said.

Beetee nodded at me. "Most. Not all," Beetee said.

"I guess if it's defending the Gamemakers I'm not surprised that they would make it electromagnetic," I said, more to myself than him. It made sense. "How can you tell?" They both started to giggle. "Is it obvious or something?"

Beetee began to laugh at me as if I had told him the funniest joke that he had heard in years. They were laughing even harder after I had asked them if it was obvious. I suddenly felt quite stupid. Maybe it was obvious. Being a Victor wasn't all that funny and I was sure that most of District 3 was pretty much strictly business. Especially if you were one of the few Victors that lived in District 3. They didn't have many. Just a few more than District 12.

"'Is it obvious?'" Beetee parroted, laughing.

"They might as well have a sign," Wiress said.

I blushed a little. That was actually more embarrassing than I would have liked to admit. "Oh," I muttered dumbly.

"Look around you. All the holograms, the lights, every now and then they flicker. Why?" Beetee asked me.

Glancing back and forth between the stations I noticed that he was right. The power did keep flickering. Every once in a while the lights would go out in the corners of the training room where no Tributes were standing. The lights would also occasionally dim and I noticed that the holograms weren't always there. As they moved, occasionally a little blip would make the holograms jump. I knew what Beetee was getting at. He thought that the force field was drawing all of the power away from the building. I assumed that force fields must have drawn a ton of electricity.

"Because the force field is taking up too much energy. That would mean that there would have to be a way to blow the system," I said, my hopes jumping a little. That meant that there might be a way out of the arena. Not that we would have any place to run. But it sure as hell would ruin their show. It might make for a fun last memory. Beetee and Wiress smiled proudly. "The energy going through is so much that it means that there's a good chance that it could fail."

Beetee grinned at me and nodded. It seemed like he was a little impressed with me. At least they realized that I wasn't as stupid as the Capitol tried to make me look. "Well done. I knew that you would impress me. I knew that you were just as smart as I thought that you were," Beetee said.

"Thank you," I said softly.

"There's always a flaw in the system," Beetee said.

Before departing from Beetee, I thanked him for everything and stood, walking away from the survival stations. Out of the corner of my eyes I noticed that Mags was standing and making fishhooks. It was rather fascinating, watching her. I was on my way to head to the bow and arrow simulation but I saw that Wiress was making a fishhook better than any that I had ever seen. It was probably better than anything that Finnick could do too.

"That's beautiful," I said. Wiress looked up at me, a little surprised. "The fishhook. I've seen plenty of people make ones not that I'm from District 4 or anything like that, but people in District 12 do it all of the time. I've never seen them do anything like that. It's so intricate."

My words were as sweet as I could possibly make them. She smiled brightly at me. I could see that she looked thrilled with my words. Mags seemed like a sweet lady but I wasn't sure whether or not she trusted me. She seemed nice and seemed like she liked me but I was pretty sure that she didn't trust me. Not that I blamed her. I had done some awful things and the Capitol had made me look like anything but the innocent District 12 girl that I had tried to play myself as.

She let out something that sounded a little bit like she was thanking me. Her speech was very garbled and as we chatted back and forth I found it almost impossible to understand what she was saying. But I did manage to pick up a few things. Something about how the fishhooks had taken a long time to perfect. Later on she mentioned that she saw me volunteer for Prim. At least, I thought that was what she was saying. I just made out Prim's name. She did call me brave - which I caught - and I was reasonably sure that she mentioned wanting to meet me.

"Thank you," I said softly, figuring that I would give communication a try. "Prim is my best friend's sister. She might as well be mine too. It was why I knew that I needed to volunteer the second that I heard her name." Mags nodded at me with a little smile. "These Games already destroyed my family, I couldn't let them destroy hers too. If you - If you teach me how to make a fishhook like that, I could teach you how to hunt."

My offer was definitely awkward. "Yes, yes," she said happily.

That much was easy to make out. She smiled at me and placed the fishhook down on the table. I assumed that it meant that she wanted me to teach her how to hunt first. I grinned at her and headed over to the bow and arrow simulation. She walked with me and hid while I picked my bow. I grabbed the same one that the Gamemakers had put in the Games last year and paled when I thought about how Glimmer had once held this. I wondered if it was this same one. Grabbing it, I pulled a quiver full of arrows onto my back and stood by the door of the simulation.

There were twenty arrows that I could use. Easy enough. And, if Mags came in with me, we would have another ten hours. I could make this work easily. I just had to remember that she would likely be slow. Smiling at Mags, I grabbed the side of her arms and dragged her to the glass edge of the enclosure. I assumed that it was tough enough that if I sent a wayward arrow, it would not endanger anyone on the outside of the glass.

"Good. Come on. I know exactly what we can do. It looked like something that I needed to try the second that I saw it," I said, looking on the inside of the glass enclosure. I would be on display but that didn't bother me. For the past year, every inch of my life had been on display. "Do you wanna try with me?" Mags shook her head at me. "Okay. I'll go first."

She smiled and nodded at me to go into the simulation. Walking up to the glass pad that sat against the door, I stared stupidly and began to press random buttons. I was putting the simulation on the hardest level that I could and made sure that it was only set for one person. I walked into the glass enclosure and watched as the doors closed behind me. The top lights darkened as the back lights went up. I immediately drew an arrow and nocked it.

For a moment I thought that the room would incinerate me but I shook off the feelings as at least ten yellow lasers came out and began to trace up and down my body. I guessed that the simulation wanted to know who it was fighting against. The lasers finally dropped to the ground and I waited for the simulation to let out my first opponent. I wanted to know what exactly this thing was. I hadn't seen anyone do this one yet today. The curiosity was burning.

Slightly unexpectedly, the first opponent came out and ran through the top level, disappearing behind the pillars. I nocked my arrow and pulled it back, firing at the hologram. It dropped to the ground and I smirked. The yellow bricks blew up and I nearly laughed. The Capitol had a flare for the dramatic. Another hologram came charging at me from the back of the room and I turned on my heel, firing again. The hologram blew up as I turned back, seeing an archer aiming at me from the second floor. I fired before it got the chance to.

At the same time an axe-thrower from behind me chucked one at my head. I spun out of the way on my heel, out of range of the axe, nocking and aiming the arrow through my spin, before straightening up, facing the hologram, and firing. It fell as I turned on my heel and fired at a sword-wielding hologram before glancing up at a hologram on the second floor. I tracked it for a moment before firing easily hitting the hologram.

Another hologram ran after me with a friend up on the top platform and I narrowly avoided a holographic knife by rolling backwards over myself and grabbing an arrow. I pulled the arrow back and shot it into the one on the top platform. It exploded and I quickly turned on my heel, sliding past another sword-wielder and pulling out an arrow as they brought the blade down. As they attempted to swing at me again I brought the arrow up and fired.

On the first floor I noticed that three holograms were attempting to corner me. I slid my bow onto my back and easily scaled the side of the glass enclosure, bringing myself to the second floor. One threw a spear at me that I avoided before firing an arrow straight into their skull. They exploded and I narrowly missed a knife that was sent my way. I watched at the two holograms crossed in front of each other before firing. It shot through both of them and they fell.

Now there were only half of the arrows left. As one knife-thrower came after me I shot an arrow through its head. It dropped, revealing an axe-thrower behind it. The hologram threw the axe and I went into a roll forward, underneath the axe, coming up on one knee and firing. I got to my feet and fired at another hologram behind me. It took two arrows pulled one after the other to take that one down. One was darting in and out on the bottom floor and I tracked it for a minute before firing.

It fell and exploded when it hit the floor. I smirked as another came running at me. I pulled back an arrow and shot the arrow through the head of a new hologram. One more came out from the bottom floor and I watched as it hid behind the pillar. There was no way that I could hit it from up here. Not to mention that there were now two more holograms running after me up on the second floor. So I took a step back and went into a flying leap off of the second floor. I hit the ground and tucked into a roll, straightening up and firing at the original hologram before turning on my knee and firing into the heart of one that was jumping.

It had exploded before hitting the ground. The second one threw another axe and I dropped down to roll sideways out of the way. As I straightened back out I fired an arrow and watched as it dropped. _One more arrow. Where are you?_ I got back to my feet and watched as the final hologram appeared. It threw a spear that I spun out of the way of before tracking it. It disappeared over one of the beams before reappearing suddenly, jumping off of the second floor. It was no match for my speed as I let off the final arrow immediately, skewering the hologram through the heart.

It exploded in the air and hologram cubes came raining down on me as I lowered the bow and smirked. I always did forget just how much I liked shooting. I let out a few breaths as I saw the lights come back up. The glass cage made a little noise and I knew that the training was over. But just before I could walk out I saw that the outside was now full of people. Not just Mags. They'd all come to watch me. Wiress was clapping excitedly and Beetee was grinning. Mags had her hands on the glass cage and was smiling at me like she would smile at a granddaughter.

A number of the Tributes were smirking. Johanna and some of the younger or more in-shape Tributes were just watching me with either impressed or irritated looks. Enobaria, Gloss, and Cashmere had their arms crossed over their chests like they weren't that impressed. Chaff and Seeder looked rather impressed as both were smiling and pointing to me. Finnick, Haymitch, and Cato were all standing and nodding at me with proud smiles. They looked very thrilled for me.

Sick of feeling like a fish in a glass bowl, I walked out of the training area and laid a hand on Wiress's shoulder before walking straight into another Tribute. A big one too. I looked up and saw that it was one of the few that I had been trying to avoid. He was smirking at me and I rolled my eyes. Gloss was not one of the Tributes that I had been looking forward to having a conversation with. He knew that. I was sure that he wanted to try and prod me. He would want to grind on my nerves as much as possible. I knew that both he and his sister had used that tactic during their Games.

"That was perfection, Aspen," Gloss told me.

"Thank you."

"I'm impressed that one person could look as wonderful as you did shooting that bow," Gloss said with a sleazy smile that I recoiled from. No way in hell was I going there. I had one too many men pining for me.

"Have you met Cato? My fiancé?" I asked brightly.

"Learn to take a compliment, Girl on Fire. But I always thought that you were a knife girl. I never knew that you were a bow and arrow girl as well," Gloss said.

Might as well be nice. "You didn't see me in the Games last year?" I asked.

"I saw but I always thought that you were just average. Obviously not," Gloss said excitedly.

Smiling at him, I placed the bow back onto the rack and slung the sheath over the rack as well. I figured that the trainers would collect the arrows that I had let loose during my training session. Other Tributes were standing around and nodding, clearly pleased with my display. It seemed like the Gamemakers were pleased as well as they were watching me with approving smiles. So maybe they didn't want me as dead as I thought that they did.

"Much better than average. I learned it from my best friend actually. I used to go hunting in the woods so that I could feed my family. Hunting with knives isn't the easiest thing in the world so I made sure that I knew how to work with a bow and arrow too," I said. He nodded, a little sneer on his face. Might as well have fun while I'm still alive. "Is that a hint of jealousy I detect?"

There was a sweet smile plastered on his face. Gloss scoffed. He was going to act like the big bad wolf now. "Jealousy?" he asked.

"Yes," I said slowly.

"Is that really what you think is in my eyes? No, my dear," Gloss said with a wide grin.

"So what is it?" I asked.

"It's curiosity. I want to know how a pathetic little girl from District 12 became the powerhouse that she is," Gloss continued.

I scoffed loudly. I was not pathetic. "Thanks for that," I sneered.

"All of the Sponsors want to back you, all of the Gamemakers love you, President Snow has his eyes on you, and you were the first Tribute ever to score a perfect score. How did you manage that?" Gloss asked.

I had two options here. I could either lie or I could tell the truth, like I had to Beetee. I should probably tell the truth. Who knew? Maybe it will freak him out a little. "Do you really want to know?" I asked him.

"Of course," Gloss said happily.

"I went in there and won a fight against a trainer. I went to use the bow but the string was tighter than I thought that it would be. I missed it the first time," I said. Gloss laughed, making my blood boil. That was exactly why I had pulled my little stunt. "They all laughed so I shot it again. I had a number of perfect shots and they ignored it. I got angry and threw a knife through the apple in a pig's mouth. After that I threw two more knives. One blew out a light and the other nearly took off Seneca Crane's head. Then I shot an arrow at a Gamemaker who was reaching out for a button."

Gloss had stopped laughing when he heard about what I had done with Seneca Crane. But it was only for a moment before he began to laugh again, even louder this time. So it seemed that everyone thought that what I had done was funny. His sister walked over to us with a smirk on her face and I could only assume that she had overheard our conversation. It didn't shock me. I hadn't exactly been trying to be quiet.

"That is quite the impressive resume you have there, Aspen," Cashmere said.

I supposed that it was true. "Thank you," I said lowly.

"You know, you should know about what's going to await you in the arena. You have one of two options," Cashmere continued.

Haymitch was right. Here it came. They were going to ask me if I wanted to join them. I already knew my answer. "Go on," I said.

"We can both go in together and offer protection until the end or you can come in there with your fiancé and stay alone, and I'll be sure that he gets some special treatment," Cashmere said.

Staring at her with an incredulous face, I nearly stabbed her through the heart with the knife that she was twirling. Had she really just said what I had thought that she had said? "What are you going to do, sleep with my fiancé?" I asked her. She merely smirked at me. "Sorry, he isn't fond of animals."

She immediately scowled. Gloss seemed to be fighting back a laugh. No matter how much they played the faithful Victors to each other, they were still siblings. "Shut up," Cashmere snarled at her brother.

"He has a nasty history with District 1. In fact, we both do. Now do yourself a favor and get lost," I snarled. She scoffed at me and leaned back against the glass. "I'm not allying with you and I want nothing to do with you. Leave me be."

They merely stood and watched me and I rolled my eyes at them. I could see Haymitch watching me and I was relatively sure that he was about to chuck the knife that he was holding through my head for my comment. He wanted us to at least try and get along with each other. And I was doing a very poor job with it. I guessed that meant that I was going to have to go somewhere else. Just as I was about to leave to go to the knife throwing station I heard Finnick call my name and motion me over.

He silently handed me off one of the strange spear type tridents that he was holding and I gave him a sharp nod. I wasn't sure how to use them and they were a hell of a lot heavier than I had expected them to be. He had one pulled back and I could tell that he was about ready to throw it at the moving yellow target at the end of the range. I watched as he pulled it back and threw. It pierced the heart of the hologram and I watched as it exploded right in front of us. Finnick turned back to me and I nodded to him with a smile. That was damned impressive.

"Nice," I said.

"Your turn," Finnick said.

"I don't know how."

"Come on. I'll teach you."

He motioned for me to go next and I followed the same position that he had. My hands wrapped around the middle of the trident and he nodded. I raised it so that my fist was next to my head and I waited for a hologram to pass by me. My hand was shaking slightly and I sighed. These things were too heavy for me to actually use. It would be impractical for me to have one in the Games but it was always good that I knew how to use one. Just in case, for whatever reason, it was hard to get another weapon.

A yellow hologram moved right in front of my view and I threw the trident with all of my might. It went right about where I was expecting to go and I nodded as the hologram blew up in front of me. It had hit the very bottom of the stomach, right about in the guts, before dropping and hitting the ground. I probably wouldn't have killed the Tribute, but I would have injured them drastically. It would have been too hard for them to keep going.

Finnick gave me a few tips and I nodded, staying with him at the station for nearly an hour. We were both good but I was nowhere near as good as he was. I could see how he had won his Games. He was incredible with the trident. He never missed a target. Even when he went to the holographic men running back and forth he never missed one. The whole thing was crazy. He was faster than anyone else. The only one that might have given me a run for my money on a draw was Finnick. Everyone else was slower.

Every time he hit the holograms in the heart and I smiled. He had a good shot at getting out of this, but I had to make sure that Cato was the one to win. As much as that would break my heart. I threw the last trident for a while and watched as it finally soared into the heart of the dummy. Most of my shots had been in the leg and the stomach. The damn trident was so heavy that it made me extremely inaccurate. But in a life or death situation, it would work.

The bell rang for lunch as I hung up my trident back on the rack and I followed Finnick into the dining room. I grabbed a sole piece of beef and made myself a cheeseburger with a little cup of fruit on the side. It was lean and I was sure that it would be good enough to last me through the rest of the day. Unfortunately I wouldn't be able to eat a lot before the Games. I had a feeling that they would be trying very hard to kill me throughout the Games. And that started with starving me out and forcing dehydration.

On my way in I spotted Beetee and Wiress. For a moment I wanted to pull them over and talk to them. They were definitely some of my favorite people that I had met so far. I wanted to ask them more about the force field and the possible uprising in District 3, but lunch would not be a good place to do that. I looked around for Cato, but he was hanging with a group of about ten other Victors, who included Gloss, Cashmere, and Johanna, so I decided to just to eat with District 3. Maybe I could get Seeder to join us. I would have said Cecilia, but she was with them too.

When we made our way fully into the dining area, I saw that some of Cato's gang had other ideas. They were dragging all of the smaller tables to form one large table so that we all had to eat together. Now I didn't know what to do. Even at school I used to avoid eating at a crowded table. Frankly, I would probably have sat alone if Gale hadn't made a habit of joining me. But even he had other friends that he sat with from time to time. I could have - and would have - eaten with Katniss, but being two grades apart, our lunch never fell at the same time.

Unfortunately it looked like I was going to have to sit with everyone else. I wanted to have Cato come and sit with me alone but I knew that I couldn't. The large table was now the only one that I could choose. So I sighed and just hoped that Cato wouldn't pick the seat near Gloss or Cashmere. Or Johanna, honestly. I took another tray and started making my way around the food-laden carts that ringed the room, mostly to avoid sitting at the table.

Cato caught up with me at the stew. "How's it going?" Cato asked.

"Good. Fine. I like the District 3 Victors. Wiress and Beetee," I said.

"Really? They're something of a joke to the others," Cato said.

"Why does that not surprise me?" I snapped.

Back in District 2 I could remember Cato telling me about being at school and the Academy. He had always made it a point of saying that he was very popular. There were a number of girls who had always vied for his attention and a number of males that wanted to hang out with him. Either way, there were always a crowd of people around him. It was amazing, really, that he ever took any notice of me except to think I was odd.

"Johanna's nicknamed them Nuts and Volts. I think she's Nuts and he's Volts," Cato said.

"And so I'm stupid for thinking they might be useful. Because of something Johanna Mason said while she was oiling up her breasts for wrestling," I retorted nastily.

"Actually I think the nickname's been around for years. And I didn't mean that as an insult. I'm just sharing information," Cato said.

"Well, Wiress and Beetee are smart. They invent things. They could tell by sight that a force field had been put up between us and the Gamemakers. And if we have to have allies, I want them," I said determinedly.

Without giving him a chance to argue with me, I tossed the ladle back in a pot of stew, splattering us both with the gravy. "What are you so angry about?" Cato asked, wiping the gravy from his shirtfront. "Because I teased you on the elevator? I'm sorry. I thought you would just laugh about it."

"Forget it. It's a lot of things," I said, shaking my head.

"Darius and Clio," Cato said.

"Darius. Clio. The Games. Haymitch making us team up with the others," I said.

"It can just be you and me, you know," Cato said.

"I know. But maybe Haymitch is right. Don't tell him I said so, but he usually is, where the Games are concerned," I said, actually making Cato smile.

"Well, you can have final say about our allies. I think you'll want the final say anyways." It was enough to earn a little smile. "But right now, I'm leaning toward Chaff and Seeder. I'm thinking about Finnick too," Cato said.

"He'll want Mags," I said.

"Which is why I'm thinking about it."

"I'm okay with Seeder, not Chaff. Not yet, anyway," I said.

"Come on and eat with him. I promise, I won't let him kiss you again," Cato said.

Chaff didn't seem nearly as bad at lunch. Actually I ended up liking him a lot. He was sober, and while he talked too loud and mad bad jokes a lot, most of them were at his own expense. It was enough to get the two of us happily chatting back and forth. I wasn't sure that I ever wanted him in an alliance with me, but I definitely could have seen the two of us as being friends if we had gotten the chances to be Mentors for years to come. Haymitch really liked talking to him throughout lunch. I could see why he was good for Haymitch, whose thoughts ran so darkly.

At Cato's insistence, I tried very hard to be more sociable, not just with Chaff but with the group at large. I was shocked that we seemed to have almost been like the Careers last year. We were laughing loudly and talking with each other like we were the oldest of friends. Of course, that was true for some of them. Lunch flew by and I realized that it was actually nice. It made everything even harder. It made us realize that we really were all in this together. We were friends. It made killing each other that much harder. With one look at Cato I knew that he felt the exact same way.

After lunch I did the edible-insect station with the District 8 tributes - Cecelia, who had three young kids at home, and Woof, a really old guy who was hard of hearing and didn't seem to know what was going on since he kept trying to stuff poisonous bugs into his mouth. It was very hard for Cecilia and I to keep him from eating them, but it kept the two of us laughing the entire time. I really did enjoy hearing her tell me about her kids and husband, even though it broke my heart. I wished that I could mention meeting Twill and Bonnie in the woods, but I couldn't figure out how.

Cashmere and Gloss, the sister and brother from District 1, surprisingly enough invited me over and we made hammocks for a while. It was a little strange to do something like that, but it was something mind-numbing and required us to look at each other as little as possible. Obviously they wanted me for my archery skills, but didn't like me. They ended up being polite but cool, and I spent the whole time thinking about how I killed both the tributes from their District, Glimmer and Marvel, last year, and that they probably knew them and might even have been their Mentors.

Actually, they must have been. I had seen them at the party two days before the Games last year. It was a little strange to think that we were now on the same level. Cato watched us closely as we worked but we actually ended up being rather nice to each other. We exchanged a few comments to make the others smile, but obviously we didn't have our hearts in it. Both my hammock and my attempt to connect with them were mediocre at best.

Afterwards I moved on to someone else. There weren't many people that I wanted to be with, but I did end up getting suckered into working with Enobaria. Mostly because Cato wanted the three of us to walk over together and get to know each other. I wasn't very fond of it - especially because I really hated swords - but I made an effort. So I joined him and Enobaria at sword training and we exchanged a few comments, but it was clear that neither of us wanted to team up. Mostly because Enobaria blamed me for being here and for what had happened to Cato since the last Games.

Finnick appeared again when I was picking up fishing tips, as I suspected that there would be a lot of water in the arena this year and I wanted to know how to get food from the ocean. But it wasn't to tease me this time. It was mostly just to officially introduce me to Mags, the elderly woman who was also from District 4 who had come to the archery station with me earlier. Between her District accent and her garbled speech - possibly she had had a stroke recently - I couldn't make out more than one in four words. But I swore that she could make a decent fishhook out of anything - a thorn, a wishbone, and even an earring.

After a while I tuned out the trainer and simply tried to copy whatever Mags did. She was definitely the best person out of any of us when it came to fishhooks. When I made a pretty good hook out of a bent nail and fastened it to some strands of my hair, she gave me a toothless smile and an unintelligible comment that I thought might have been praise. Suddenly I remembered how she volunteered to replace Annie Cresta, who had been hysterical when her name was called. It wasn't because she thought she had any chance of winning. She did it to save Annie, just like I volunteered last year to save Prim and Katniss.

And as I continued to work on my halfway-decent fishhooks, I decided that I wanted her on my team. Great. Now I would have to go back and tell Haymitch, in private, that I wanted an eighty-year-old and Nuts and Volts for my allies. He was sure to love that. The only good things were that I would also have Haymitch and Cato, and taking Mags on would also mean that I was taking Finnick. Haymitch might be able to get past it at least if I had Finnick with us.

So now that I knew who I wanted on my team - and I refused to think about wanting anyone else, I gave up on trying to make friends and went back over to the archery range for some sanity. It was the one place that also had practical training. No holograms. The section that I was standing in was mostly for hunting food rather than Tributes. I had drawn even more of a crowd now that I was back over with the bows. It was wonderful there, getting to try out all the different bows and arrows.

Each one was something different than the others. Some were designed for short range, others for long, and some were designed to take more of a beating while others were obviously meant to be cared for. There were a number of bows with very tight strings and others with looser ones. There were some made out of metal and others made from wood. The trainer, Tax, seeing that the standing targets offered no challenge for me, began to launch these silly fake birds high into the air for me to hit. At first it seemed stupid, but it turned out to be kind of fun. Much more like hunting a moving creature.

Since I was hitting everything he threw up, he started increasing the number of birds he sent airborne. I noticed that it was much like firing at real birds. You had to move fast and effectively if you wanted to take down as many in a flock as you could before they moved off. I remembered Mr. Everdeen teaching Katniss and me that lesson once. Katniss might have been more of a natural with the bow - as I was with knives - but with the practice over the last two months I might have become even better than she was. When it came to moving as we fought, and using our bodies as extensions of the weapons, that had always been my forte.

So I forgot the rest of the gym and the Victors and how miserable I was and lost myself in the shooting. During a speed shooting round I managed to show how I could place the arrows in the same hand that I drew the string with, proving that I could hit targets over and over again. I was able to shoot eight arrows through one bird before it hit the ground. To test my aim, Tax held a knife about a foot above his head and had me shoot an arrow. The arrow hit at the center of the knife's blade and split it in two. I was well aware that everyone was watching me, but I didn't care.

"Tell me. You can split an arrow in half, correct?" Tax asked.

"Yes."

"Can you split an airborne arrow coming at you in half?" Tax asked.

I was stunned. "No one can do that," I said.

"Have you tried?"

"No."

Without giving me a chance to argue back that I couldn't do it, that it had to be impossible, Tax had me try. As he was quite the archer himself, everyone stopped to watch. Tax motioned for us to fire over our heads, just in case, and fire on three. We counted down before I locked onto Tax's aim and fired. As the arrows soared through the air, I heard them click when they hit, but I couldn't tell if they had split. As we both darted over to the fallen arrows, my heart nearly stopped. I'd done it. Tax's arrow was split straight down the middle from my own.

There was even a little while that we practiced taking shots from a close range. At one point I had two trainers running after me where I ducked down and slid past them on my butt as I hopped up on my knees and turned back, firing an arrow at one padded trainer, rolling forwards out of the way, before rearing up and firing another arrow at him. Dashing away from a man that was following me, I ran up to the sword station and over the padded mats, making a few Tributes - including Cato - stumble back from me. They were laughing, but they didn't know what I was planning to do.

As the trainer jumped up onto the platform from behind me I hopped up onto another one, noting that another trainer was waiting for me at the bottom. Some of the Tributes were laughing as Tax probably thought that he had finally caught me. But he hadn't. I jumped into a front flip off of the raised platform and spun over the padded guard behind me. As I landed on my feet I pulled back the arrow and fired into the padded heart of the waiting trainer and raised up another arrow to fire at the one that had been following me. Tax was stunned.

"Don't tell me that's all you've got?" I asked.

Tax was laughing as were a number of the Tributes. "Of course not. Come on," Tax said quietly.

Much to my embarrassment, Tax sent five padded trainers up to me and cleared the area. There were plenty of other things that the Tributes could have been doing, but most chose the watch me. At least this would show them that I wasn't just the new kid. The bell ran out and I immediately slid past two holographic knives aimed my way on my knees, turning into the slide and firing at the first of the trainers. As another trainer ran on a platform above me I jumped off of my own, twisted to fire from underneath him in midair, and hit the next platform at a slight sprawl.

Two trainers were waiting for me on the other side. As a surprise, I threw the bow on the ground underneath two platforms, surprising the trainers. I jumped forward and grabbed onto the railing above one of their heads. I kicked straight into their chest, using my momentum to move back and pull myself up and over into a roll off of the railing and onto the other side. As I hit the ground in a tuck and roll, picked up my bow again, and fired into the heart of the other trainer. As the first came at me from the side of the box, I turned on my knee and fired straight into his throat, surprising him and causing him to hit the ground.

It left only one. The fifth trainer was definitely better than the others. Using a technique that Gale had taught me, to fight with the bow, I moved forward. I swung the bow back and forth, blocking numerous near-hits from his knife, before spinning around and whacking his shin with the blunt edge of the bow. He hit the ground, grunting in pain, and I jumped back to avoid the knife again. He threw out a punch but I managed to catch his arm and flip over his back.

It brought him with me as the two of us sprawled over each other. I had showed that I was good at a distance. Now I could prove that I was just as good close-up. He was faster than I gave him credit for. As he got back to his feet I avoided two blows from the knife before leaning down onto one hand, grabbing his knife-throwing arm with the other, and twisting my torso around. I caught his shoulder underneath my foot as my other foot went behind his back.

Letting go of my hold on the ground - and thanking Gale for ensuring that I knew how to use the weight of men much larger than myself for hand-to-hand fights - we went sprawling forward and over ourselves. I managed to get to my knees first as I drew back and fired into the trainers chest, effectively ending the fight. By now the trainers were getting back to their feet and pulling off their pads, looking very embarrassed at their losses. Most of the Tributes had been watching me. Their faces showed everything from envy to hatred to admiration.

"Now that's all that I've got," Tax said, breaking the tense silence.

We both laughed as I thanked him, handed back the bow, and headed off. I began to make my way over to the knife throwing area - as I hadn't done it yet and I was itching to get to show off a little more - but just as I got there another hand grabbed my own. I groaned and looked up to see that it was Cato. He was probably ensuring that I was going to go with him for a while. He looked very impressed with my previous display with the bow and made a few passing comments about how it was enough to make him want to leave training early with me.

I rolled my eyes and walked with him over to the sword fighting station. I stared stupidly at him and just barely caught the sword that he threw at me. I raised an eyebrow at him and he nodded at me with a little smirk. Rolling my eyes at him, I rolled the sword through my hands and watched as he did the same. His movements were so much smoother than my own. I knew that he was going to win this fight, but I had to try. He may have been my fiancé but that didn't mean that I was going to let him kick my ass.

Not after I had just managed to show myself up. He held the sword in one hand and I hissed at him. I couldn't believe that he was so good at this. Of course, I was better than him with knives. And the bow and arrow. And survival skills. But of course he was better with hand-to-hand combat. We both had our strengths and weaknesses. He just happened to be very good with the swords. Almost as good as I was. I liked to pretend that I was respectively better with knives and the bow.

Cato came at me with his sword unexpectedly but it wasn't going to catch me off guard. I knew immediately what to do. Instead of trying to fight him first, I rolled out of the ways and in between his legs. Cato jumped back and slashed out at me with the sword once more and I jumped back, just narrowly missing the blade. Without missing a beat, he swung out at me again and I raised my blade, his own clashing with mine. I stumbled back and hit the mats.

Cato slashed out with his sword once more and I yelped lightly, rolling out of the way. The blade went through the mats and I jumped up, swinging my blade over my shoulder and thrusting it down into Cato's sword. He didn't stumble and I watched as he threw the blade out again and caught my arm. I shrieked as he pulled me back and I thrust my head back into his nose. He released me and I smirked as I spun the blade back up into my hand. I turned back to catch him at the throat but just as I got to face him, I found his blade already at my throat. Damn it. So close.

Cato knew that he had gotten to me as he grabbed my sword out of my hand and tossed it back onto the rack. I laughed at him and shook my head as he gave me a small kiss before rolling his eyes and shoving me away from him. Without bothering to stop, he motioned for the trainer to come back to him and I smiled. That was Cato for you. He could only be sweet for so long. I scoffed at him and his act of toughness in front of the other Tributes. I assumed that if he wanted me alive he wanted to make sure that the other Tributes knew that even though he was the youngest Tribute, he was also one of the ones to fear.

He leaped out at the trainer and I walked off, finally getting to head to the knives. But on my way I noticed that the nets were empty and I decided that it would be best for me to head there first. No Tributes were on it yet and I should take advantage for that opportunity. There was usually a rather large line at the nets and I really didn't want to wait for them. It was only because it was getting later and people were slowly starting to calm down.

Walking over slowly to the nets, I nodded at the trainer who nodded back to me. It was the same woman that had been here last year when I had fallen. But this year I wasn't going to fall. I was a Victor. Victors didn't fall. Quickly I made my way through the net, skipping over at least two footholds at a time. I reached the top within a few seconds and smirked. Much better than last year. Smarter than I had been the year prior, I pulled myself through the nets and scurried across the top of the nets. It was much easier than letting my arms give way.

Once I was to the opening in the nets I dropped through and swung onto the second set of ropes. That time I swung from rope to rope before swinging myself onto the platform. I roughly hit the platform and nearly slipped off of the back of it but I was able to stop myself before I did. Not again. No more water landings like last year. As I jumped back to the floor again I saw that Cato was watching me with a grin as were Finnick and Beetee. I dropped out of the nets and sat down against the back of the walls.

The long climb had definitely made me tired. And my previous fights were still making me a little breathless. I was tired from my little crawl and I wanted to take a few minutes to myself before heading over to the knives. I only had another three hours here in the training room and I wanted to spend about an hour of it with the knives. The rest of the time I had a feeling I would spend with the survival stations. It was always good to make sure that I remembered all of the knots for both a Tribute and an animal.

Without Finnick this time. My breathing was coming in short gasps and I wiped the sweat away from my forehead. As much as I enjoyed the rope climbing station it was hard on the arms and legs. It was so great to be able to sit for a while. I felt a small figure drop to the ground next to me and I looked up, half expecting it to be Wiress. But, of course, that wasn't my luck. Instead it was one of the people who probably hated me the most here.

"Hey there, Antaeus," Johanna Mason greeted.

"Mason," I snarled.

"Or should I say Hadley?" Johanna asked. I scowled. I somehow doubted that she cared either way. "After all, won't you be one soon?"

No matter what I knew that Johanna would call me by the wrong name. We were just engaged. She knew that. She would have probably been at the wedding. All of the Victors would have been. My family, too. "Not yet, Mason," I hissed her last name. "I was supposed to be married right after these Games. Once the Victor was crowned."

She snorted. I knew why. It seemed like the attention was always on me. "Of course you would have," Johanna said.

"It wasn't like I wanted the wedding to be on that day. It was Snow's idea," I sneered.

"I'm sure," Johanna said.

"Seems like the Capitol can save the money and spend it on the Games now," I said.

Not wanting to look at her, I decided to look around the new and improved training room. Maybe she would leave me alone if I showed that I didn't care about her. The new room was quite impressive. But extremely depressing. There wasn't a pop of color anywhere. Johanna smirked at me and I stared at her. Her medium length, choppy brown hair was hanging in her face, stuck to her forehead by sweat. She had cut it since the Tribute Parade. She had probably been wearing extensions.

"Well, damn. I do love a good wedding," Johanna said.

"I'm sure," I said, snorting. Not that I had meant to.

"Now would you listen to that?" Johanna asked.

I glanced over to her. I knew that she wasn't looking for an answer. "What are you talking about?" I asked nastily.

"Victor. The word almost sounds like a crime when it's said without the 'S'. Can you imagine that this year they aren't going to let the Star-Crossed Lovers leave the Games this time?" Johanna asked.

I narrowed my eyes at her. I didn't want to hear about that. I knew that only one of us was coming out of there this time. And it would be Cato. "So I've heard," I said lowly.

"It's sad. I mean, you can still leave the Games together though. In coffins," Johanna sneered at me.

A sudden ripple of anger shot through me and I had to resist grabbing a piece of wire from the fishing station and wrapping it around her neck. "What the hell do you want?" I snapped. "I thought that you were having fun over with your axes. Probably imagining that one of them is my head."

It was more to myself than her. Still though, she nodded at me. At least she was honest. "Of course," Johanna said.

"I'd imagine that a lot of people are imagining my head on their dummies," I muttered again, still mostly to myself.

Johanna answered me anyways. "For once you are actually right, Aspen," she said. I glared at her. I was actually probably smarter than her. Not that I would tell her that. "You know, some part of me actually does like you."

I laughed loudly. I highly doubted that she really liked me. None of these Tributes liked me. "Is that so?" I asked.

"I enjoy watching the Capitol squirm. It became one of my pastimes here. Tell me, how do you do it?" Johanna asked.

"What?" I asked dumbly, tilting my head at her. How did I do what?

"How do you get to the President the way that you do?" Johanna asked.

Her question had caught me off guard. What was it that I did that made the President squirm? Was it really me that made the President squirm? I had always thought that he just hated me and wanted me dead. But some part of Johanna's question rang true. The President did so much for me that he would have never done for anyone else. He had allowed me to say things to him at his party that he would have killed anyone else for saying. He had let me have a twelve in training even after I had nearly killed a few of his Gamemakers. Including his Head Gamemaker.

He had bent the rules of two Victors being allowed for me. He had allowed Cato and me to actually leave the Games together because I had threatened them with no Victor at all. He had let Seneca Crane live because he had wanted me to himself. He had brought all of the Victors back into the Games because he was afraid that I was starting something like an uprising. He had forced Cato and me to get engaged because he wanted the people focused on me, happy and healthy.

What was it that made me so special to President Snow? I would have never been able to figure it out unless Johanna had said something. Until she had finally made me realize that there was something there. There was no doubt that I did get under President Snow's skin. Maybe I would be able to really hurt him before I died in these Games. Something to bother him until the day that he died. Johanna seemed pleased that I was now thinking over her question as she stood and left me, without either one of us getting our answers.

After a while I shook my thoughts from my head and forced myself to stand up and go do something else productive with my time. There was just a little under three hours left in the training day and I knew that I was going to have to do something else with my time. I couldn't just sit here, pondering Johanna's question. So I stood and walked back over to the knot tying station. It was something that I could use practice with where I would be left alone. I grabbed the rope and began tying knots that I could have done in my sleep as I looked over the other Tributes. I had to know what they were good at.

Since everyone knew what the others were good with, no one was bothering to hide their strengths. We could have just watched their Games if we really wanted to know. It seemed that all of the Tributes were here by now and I nodded. Maybe the Peacekeepers had forced them to be here. My eyes quickly found Gloss and Cashmere at the knife throwing station. Gloss was throwing what looked to be more like a dagger. They were heavier and did a lot more damage than knives. Cashmere was throwing her knives and I nodded as they took out two targets together.

They would work together. I made another mental note to stay away from them both. Especially after I hadn't been so nice. Cato was still with the trainer at the sword station and I watched as he nearly took the trainers head off. The man pulled off his hat and glared at Cato, but my fiancé didn't back down. He merely glared at the man and walked over to the dummies, immediately taking a head off. I was glad that Cato was on my side. Enobaria was at the sword station as well but she was using a small sword with a thin blade. Every time she swung out at a dummy, she took off an appendage. Part of me hoped that she would be with us.

Glancing away from the toughest fighters, I looked over at some of the smaller and older Tributes. Beetee was still working with wires and some pieces of technology. There was no doubt that I had no idea of how they functioned. I couldn't help but to wonder if he was working on how to electrocute the Tributes again. If he was planning on that, there would be nothing that I could do. Cato would die and so would I. Shaking that from my thoughts, I looked over to see that Wiress was watching and handing him pieces as he asked her to.

Not far from them, Finnick was at the spear station. He was using the sole trident, now slashing at the holograms. I watched as they each blew to pieces every time. I knew that Finnick would be able to tear out the intestines of anyone he liked. Mags was watching him like a proud mother and every once in a while he would turn to her and flash her a bright smile. It was a nice sight to see. She was still working on her fishhooks from earlier.

Also at the spear station was the male from District 5. He was an older gentleman but could still move like a younger one. That made him dangerous to me. He had been using a sword earlier and I noticed that he was good. His movements were a little choppy but he wasn't half bad. He was now at the spear station and I knew that he was lethal with it. If the target was still, that was. Still, I was sure that he could do some damage.

His female counterpart was a younger girl that was using the camouflage station. She was using the same types of paint that Peeta had used when we were here last year and I had to force myself to look away. I thought that I might show my lunch again if I kept watching her. The twisting in my gut came full force and I sighed. I'd be with him soon enough. Right next to her were both of the District 6 Morphlings and I noticed that they were hiding. If they weren't talking softly with each other I would have never even noticed them. That made them dangerous, especially at night.

I glanced away from them and looked over at where Blight and Johanna were currently fighting with each other. They were both doing well and also dripping with sweat. Their axes were ringing out loudly and I grimaced. I hated axes. They were heavy and made people look clumsy. Plus I'd had one come a little too close for comfort. But Johanna and Blight were so fluid in their motions. Johanna finally knocked the axe out of Blight's hand and I watched as she rounded on him. She had been about to bury the axe in his chest when she stopped and smirked at him, handing him the axe back.

They laughed and took a moment before going at each other again. Looking away from the pair I saw that Woof was currently back at the poisonous bug station. He was still trying to eat the poisonous ones, despite the trainer's efforts. I wondered if his eyesight and hearing were going. It made sense, as he was very old. Cecilia had been using a sword before, and she had been good with it, but she had disappeared from sight for now. I was pretty sure that she was taking a break in the infirmary. She had looked injured earlier.

In the same spot that Cecilia had been in about an hour prior I saw that the District 9 male was using the sword that had been hers. He was small but muscular. He swipes were fast but he wasn't the most accurate. I assumed that he wanted to tire the other Tributes out. It would probably work against weaker ones. His District partner was at the fire making station and she was smiling over the heat. I felt bad for thinking it but I knew that she would be one of the first to go.

The District 10 male was currently at the sword station, right next to Cato, and I watched as he sliced a dummy in half at the stomach. My eyes widened and I looked away. I remembered him. He had won only a few years ago as he was twenty-three and he had been tough. I was pretty sure that he had actually been with the Careers. I made a mental note to avoid him. His District partner was probably about a decade older than him and she looked dangerous too. She was using a spear and wasn't half-bad. She reminded me of Coral with it. I closed my eyes tightly and looked away. I couldn't afford a freak out right now.

Also at the spear station was Chaff. He was shockingly good for someone with one hand. He stunned me how fast that he could throw the spear and how accurately. The only thing that he seemed to have a problem with was the fact that without another hand to help balance out the weapon, he threw a little crooked. But he had quickly compensated for that. He was now hitting the still targets in the chest and stomach. The moving targets were different though. He was hitting them in the legs and sides. That would still slow them down.

I tried looked for Seeder but I couldn't find her. I figured that she was probably still hiding by one of the survival stations. That was where she had been all day. As I scanned the room I tried looking for the last Tribute that was driving me nuts. Haymitch. It was killing me, not knowing just how good he really was. He had been at the survival stations for most of the day and he had even taken a quick run. He was slow but that hadn't surprised me. He never had been extremely fast. He was now at the station that I had been dying to see him at all day. The knives.

He was working with the still targets from last year and I watched carefully. He was damned fast with it. He slashed at the dummies and I watched as he pulled open what would have been intestines and spleens. Maybe the occasional lung or two. It was no shock that he had won his Games. He was fast and fought on his knees frequently. It was easy to change position that way. He looked tired and angry. And he looked like he could use a stiff drink. Although we all looked that way.

Deciding that it was better that I not spy on Haymitch, I turned and went back to my knots. Ten knots were already done and I nearly laughed. I had spent an hour perfecting knots that I already knew. At least I had gotten a good look at the Tributes doing their thing. I went back to fixing a knot that I wasn't quite proficient with and thought about everything that was going on outside of the Capitol. Immediately I thought about what it was that Cato's family would be doing right now.

He had told me that the Academy didn't have school during the weeks of the Games so that meant that Aidan would be home right about now, hanging out with his family. Alana and Damien would be at work right now, along with Dean. Cato had told me that they all worked as blacksmiths. It was what Cato would have been had he not gone into the Games. Carrie would be home taking care of the two youngest girls right about now. Leah and Marley. I wondered if either of them missed Cato. Probably. Skye and Julie were probably hanging around together. I hoped that they would take care of Cato when he got back.

That was just Cato's home. Everyone was going about their normal business, but they had to have been upset. They knew that Cato had come here with the intention of making sure that I lived. I hoped that they knew that I had the same promise. Back in District 12 I knew that the world had probably come to a stop for the Everdeen's. Prim was probably in tears, trying to function but failing. I knew that she would put on a strong face for Katniss though.

Katniss was more than likely out hunting right now but not putting her heart into it. If she was, I was sure that she was imagining that every animal she came across was someone that had had a hand in bringing me here. Ms. Everdeen would still be running her infirmary. I wondered, if when she looked at some of her patients, she saw me. Maybe. Then there was Gale. I had no idea where he would be. The woods with Katniss? Maybe. By himself? Maybe. At home? Maybe. Walking? Maybe. Angrily sulking? Definitely. I hoped that Katniss and Gale had taken my advice and gotten together. I would like that.

A small tap on my shoulder made me break my chain of thoughts and turn back to see that Seeder was standing behind me with a wide grin. Well, at least I had now found out where she was. Besides speaking to her at the Tribute Parade to make sure that Rue and Thresh's families were okay, and briefly at lunch, I hadn't spoken to her. I smiled back at her and put down my finished knot. She looked at it and nodded before glancing back up. She had a sweet smile.

"Hello, Aspen. May I have a word?" Seeder asked.

She didn't seem like the type to attack me so I didn't mind having a word with her. "Of course. It's Seeder, isn't it?" I asked.

"That's correct," she said. I wanted to make sure that I wasn't mistaking her for Cecilia. The two looked so similar. Seeder was just older and had a kinder face. Of course, Cecilia had left behind three young kids. I didn't blame her for being angry.

"It's nice to officially meet you. We weren't together too long last night," I said.

"That is true. And it's nice to meet you as well," Seeder said.

"Can I help you with something?" I asked.

Honestly I didn't want to be rude but I wanted to get along to the knife station. We had just crossed over into the last hour of training. She nodded, seemingly understanding that I had other things to do. "I'm busy so I can't stay for long," Seeder said. We all had things to do right now. We were all busy. "I just wanted you to know that after the Victory Tour, there were a lot of uprisings. More than I've ever seen. It was something out of a nightmare."

I swallowed a lump in my throat. I had seen the first one. I had caused it. A man had died because of me. "In District 11?" I asked quietly.

"Everywhere. Over half of the District's. You probably assumed that. I just wanted you to know that Thresh and Rue's families, they really are safe and thriving with the money that you gave them," Seeder said.

I let out a breath. That was actually good news. "Cato gave it to them, but that's good," I whispered

"I saw to it myself. The money and their safety. You deserved to know that," Seeder said.

It was one of the first time that I'd given someone a genuine smile since being in the Capitol. I was glad that she had come to tell me that. Both of the families had been torn apart by these Games and I was glad to see that they could be left alone this year. I knew that Thresh's sister had been in her last year this year. That meant that she was safe. All of Rue's siblings were still eligible for the Games though. I hoped that they would never have to go into the Games.

"Thank you. For keeping them safe. They've already lost too much. I couldn't imagine them losing any more than they already have," I said.

Seeder gave me a warm smile before turning her back to me. "No one should ever have to lose what they did," she said softly.

"Seeder?" I called, before she could get too far from me. "Good luck. I mean that."

"To you, as well, Aspen."

She seemed to know that I was telling the truth as she smiled at me and turned again, this time heading deep into the thick of the trees that made up the platform jump. The exact thing that I had officially met Rue and Thresh on last year. It was like a punch to the gut. I turned away from her and threw down my knot. The only person at the knives was currently Gloss and he looked about done. I could use it once he was done. I made it to the glass enclosure and watched as Gloss blew the last hologram to hell.

He smirked at me as he exited and handed me the knife that he had been holding. I held it tightly in my hand but gathered a group of throwing knives too. I needed to know how to use both. I walked into the room after turning the station up one more level of difficulty than Gloss had been on. It was as hard as I could make it. Just like it had been in the bow and arrow simulation. The yellow lights followed my figure before falling back to the ground. I held a throwing knife in one hand and waited for the program to begin. Out of the corner of my eye I noticed that a huge crowd was drawing.

Tuning them out, I focused on the simulation. I was watching everywhere for one of the holograms. Just as I began to wonder if the program had actually started one of the holograms came out on the second floor and threw a yellow knife at me. I had seen it at the last moment and swung out of the way, grabbing my knife and throwing it back at the hologram. I caught it directly at the temple and the hologram exploded just as a second one came charging at me. This time I had no time to throw a knife so I grabbed the dagger and dropped under the knees of the hologram to slide between its legs, slicing behind a tendon.

The leg blew off of the hologram and I realized that it was carrying a sword. It swung out at me but was too slow. I jammed the dagger into the hold of the sword and pushed it back into the neck of the hologram. It was actually like fighting a real person. The hologram exploded in my face as I stepped back. The program only took a second before sending two more after me from opposite sides. I immediately grimaced. It was like facing the Careers.

An idea was bubbling in the back of my brain but I knew that it was something that would probably get me killed in real life. Still, these things didn't quite think like people. Both were running up to me and I stood in my spot, only moving at the last second. One was smart enough to stop but the other wasn't so intelligent. The blade went through the partner, killing it, and I darted back. The remaining hologram chased me down and I sprinted to the other corner of the glass structure. The hologram threw a knife at me and I ducked, just barely seeing the reflection.

Dropping to my knees I turned back and watched as the hologram came stumbling over me. As it tripped over my body I grabbed the second throwing knife and tossed it into the heart. The hologram exploded and I glanced down. I had two throwing knives left. That gave me two more opponents. Maybe. I only had about three seconds to think about it before another hologram came at me from behind. I ran from it for a moment before trying to hide behind the second pillar. As I rounded the corner though, another hologram came to face me. It swung out a knife and I dropped onto my back, barely avoiding the blade.

Pushing my leg backwards, I flipped over myself and straightened up in time to throw a knife into the eye. The hologram exploded over me. Another hologram leapt after me and I turned back to try and throw a knife. I had the dagger and a throwing knife. I grabbed the dagger and jammed it back to the throat of one of the holograms before grabbing my the dagger again and throwing it backwards and overhanded into into the head of the other hologram.

That left me one opponent and one knife. I hadn't been hit once. I was doing pretty damn well. Just as I had expected, the next hologram came out almost immediately and ran across the second floor of the glass room. I smirked at it. This was what I was the best at. I knew that it was about to throw the knife that it had as well and I nodded. Just as the hologram threw the knife at me, I twisted myself into a back flip. As my feet were coming over my head, I saw the knife just barely skid by my stomach. I had timed it perfectly. As I normally did.

As I was finishing my turn in midair, coming back to the ground, I threw my knife and watched as the hologram tried to avoid the knife. It couldn't move away from me quite in time and the hologram blew up as the knife hit its eye. I smirked at myself as I landed in a low crouch and stood slowly. The machine that was running the hologram shut down and I headed to the doors. The knives were all gone so I walked out of the room, brushing by the people that were watching me. Knives were still fun, but I was becoming a little more fond of the bow and arrows.

Finnick and Beetee were both grinning at me from their stations. Cato had barely looked over at me but he did risk a quick glance to give me a little smirk. He knew that I was good with knives. But it was my show with the bow and arrows that I was much better with. Gloss and Cashmere were both grinning madly at me as I walked back into the main knife training area and picked up a set. There was just barely half an hour left in the training day and I knew that it was time for me to work on my aim.

Every knife that I was throwing went right into the head or heart of the dummy, with the exception of one that had gone into the arm of a dummy after Cashmere had knocked into me. It had made me laugh loudly when her first knife had gone into the leg of the dummy deliberately. I was having a good time throwing time after time with no hesitation. As I threw the last knife in my set a hand laid itself on my shoulder and I jumped back, swinging out at the person. I started when I realized that it was Cato. I gave him a bashful grin. He laughed at me and grabbed my hand, pulling me away from the station.

"Training is over, psychopath," Cato teased.

"I was in my zone just like you are when you sword fight," I said.

"Yes. You're right." I glanced around and realized that everyone was heading out of the training room. I was over this day. "Come on. I know that Haymitch and Effie are going to want dinner soon," Cato said.

"Good. I'm starving," I said happily.

"I'll leave you to have your quiet night in and I'll see you tomorrow," Cato said and I nodded. "Unless, do you want me to come with you?"

He definitely seemed somewhat hopeful. A huge part of me wanted to invite Cato upstairs to come spend the night with me but I knew that I couldn't. I had to go to bed by myself to make sure that I would be awake tomorrow. All of the compulsory exercises were jammed together tomorrow and I intended to make it a purely physical day. I needed a good night's sleep and I would not get that with him around. But I could afford having him around for dinner and a while afterwards.

"Not tonight," I said. He nodded, looking a little put out. I felt horrible about it. "Come up for dinner and hang out for a while though. I just think we both need a good night's sleep."

He looked much happier at that. "Deal," Cato said.

"Thank you. I want to be alone for a little while so I can be with my thoughts."

"I understand."

We made it up to the twelfth floor quickly and exited the elevator. Haymitch and I got out first with Cato following us. Thankfully Enobaria had gone straight back to the second floor. We were all sweating profusely and panting from the exertion of the day. As the doors opened I stepped out of the elevator and wanted nothing more than to head immediately into the shower. I just wanted to wash off. But I knew that it wasn't how it was going to work out.

"Oh, Aspen, dear! Welcome back!" Effie trilled.

I smiled at her. At least her greetings were always enthusiastic. "Had a good day, Effie?" I asked.

"Very productive. And, Haymitch, you as well." Haymitch only grunted. "And, Cato!" Effie chirped.

"Hi, Effie," Cato said sweetly.

After training, and after chatting with Effie about everyone else, Haymitch went off to his room and Effie went to go probably finish putting her stupid makeup on. Cato and I headed straight to my room. We hung out for a while before eventually winding up in the shower. Partially because I wanted to wash off - I really did smell bad - and partially because I wanted some time with Cato without everyone else watching or listening. Thankfully there were some male clothes in my room that he could change into. I realized with a hint of horror that probably either Darius or Clio had left them here. When we were finally called to eat, Haymitch pounced on me immediately.

Not before spotting our damp hair and flushed faces. He scowled but otherwise ignored it. "So at least half the Victors have instructed their Mentors to request you as an ally. More will come in over the next two days, I'm sure. I know it can't be your sunny personality," Haymitch said.

"Thanks," I snapped.

"They saw her shoot," Cato said with a smile. "Actually, I saw her shoot, for real, for the first time. I'm about to put in a formal request myself."

It made me smile at him. I'd never realized that he hadn't seen me shoot before. "You're that good? So good that Gloss, Enobaria, and Cashmere want you?" Haymitch asked.

I shrugged. "I guess. But I don't want Gloss, Enobaria, or Cashmere. I want District 3," I said.

"Well, okay. Who else?" Haymitch asked, not looking overly thrilled with my choice.

"Mags," I said, almost sheepishly.

"Of course you do."

"That means Finnick comes, too," I defended.

Haymitch sighs and orders a bottle of wine. "I'll tell everybody you're still making up your mind," Haymitch said.

"Asshole," I muttered as he left.

"He'll warm up to the idea," Cato said.

"No, he won't. He thinks I'm a moron."

"You're not. You know, I really haven't ever seen you shoot like that before."

"Sure you have."

"Not like that. I've seen you make a few shots during the last Games and I've seen you a little bit in training. But I've never seen you shoot like that," Cato said.

"Well... it's a culmination of a lot of years of practice, help from Gale and Mr. Everdeen, and some natural skill. And a fear of ever coming into the Games," I said honestly.

"Don't worry. You're going to be fine," Cato promised.

"Cato..."

"I had fun tonight," he said, winking at me and giving me a funny look. He had suddenly readopted the goofy look he'd had before. "We should do it more often."

"Cato -"

"You should get some rest soon. It'll be another long day."

"I love you, Aspen. Thanks for dinner. And for a wonderful afternoon," he teased, tugging at my hips.

Laughing under my breath, I let him pull me into him. "See you tomorrow," I whispered, pressing a long kiss against his mouth. "And I love you, too. I'll see you in the morning. Have a good night's sleep," I said.

Together we walked over towards the elevator for him to get back to the second floor. He hit the button for the second floor but stood in the way of the doors to make sure that they wouldn't close just yet. Cato reached out for me, gripping my hips almost painfully, and pulled me into a kiss. Immediately I melted into him and smiled into the kiss as he ran his hands through my wet hair. I would have kissed him all night if I could.

"There's the Gauntlet tomorrow and you had better know that I'm going to get a better time than you this time," I joked as the elevator made a small ding, almost in irritation.

Cato walked a little further into the elevator and I watched him with a little smirk. "We'll see about that, Twelve," Cato said.

I scoffed. There was that nickname that I was so fond of. "It's my promise," I teased.

"I'll see you in the morning. Remember, if you get lonely you can always come give me a visit. My bed has room," Cato said, with a wink.

"Get out," I snapped.

Even now I could hear Haymitch make a scoffing noise behind me - as I had a feeling that he was back at the dining room table - and I rolled my eyes. He was probably over his little tantrum of who I wanted for an ally this time around. And it wasn't like he had never said things like that to me in front of company. I knew that he had. He had said it in front of me before. Numerous times and many of them when Cato or my family were standing just feet away from me.

Just a second later Effie was on me. "Come on. There's a show about the Tributes on right now and I'd like to make sure that you both watch it. They're talking about everything with the Tributes and what they think is going to happen with them," Effie said.

"We're going to die," I said irritably.

"What kind of spirit is that?" Effie asked bitterly.

Knowing that we weren't going to get an option here, whether or not we wanted to watch the television, I wasn't all that surprised when Haymitch and I were pulled behind Effie to the living room area. She plunked us both down onto the couch and I curled into myself. Thankfully some of Cato's clothes were comfortable enough for me to wear. I was wearing an oversized shirt and a pair of cloth pants. Some form of comfort after my somewhat brutal day.

"That sounds thrilling," Haymitch said, in his typical I-could-care-less attitude that he had. And he wondered where I had gotten my charming demeanor from. "You know, I'm not going to miss having to sit through these stupid Capitol shows with you while we're in the arena."

"How did this somehow become my fault?" I asked as the screen came into view, showing both Caesar Flickerman and Claudius Templesmith.

He was donning bright purple hair and a sparkly black suit this year. It was actually one of the more demure looks that I had seen him in. Caesar smiled brightly at the crowd and waved to everyone. "Hello, everyone, and welcome to a very special event! The Seventy-Fifth Annual Hunger Games! And the third Quarter Quell!" Caesar yelled.

I rolled my eyes. How special indeed. _Instead of killing kids, this time we're going to be killing adults. Who have already killed kids_. "It's good to be back," Claudius Templesmith cheered.

"Here tonight we are discussing the Tributes that were once Victors and we are going to have an extremely important announcement from President Snow himself!" Caesar announced.

An announcement from President Snow was never anything good. The last time that he had given an announcement was the one that had doomed me to come back into the arena. I wasn't sure what exactly came out of my mouth at the mention of President Snow having a special announcement. It was something in between a snort, a laugh, and a scream. Whatever it was, I hoped that I never made it again. It certainly wasn't attractive. Thankfully everyone was too busy watching the screen to pay me much attention.

"Well that most certainly does not sound like a good thing," I said.

Haymitch sighed, letting his hand fall on my leg. He knew that I was more nervous than I was letting on. "It's never a good thing when he wants to make an announcement," Haymitch said.

"Does anyone have any idea what his announcement is about?" I asked. Both adults shook their heads.

Claudius took over the screen and I glanced up to watch him begin to go over the Tributes from this year. "That is certainly something that we are all just dying to see!" Claudius said. I nearly laughed at the unintentional play on words. "But in the meantime let's start out with our first Tributes from District 1, siblings Gloss and Cashmere. They won in back to back years and they have been some of our favorites for years!"

If only they knew what they were really like. "They were both incredible and fan-favorites in their own years," Caesar chimed in.

"Of course, it hurts that at least one of them will be leaving us, but the siblings maintain that they know that the best one will win it for the both of them," Claudius finished.

A strange feeling that I wasn't fond of settled into my chest. That wasn't something that I really wanted to think about. That was actually mildly depressing to hear. The two siblings would only ever see each other again in death. But I had to kill them. For Cato, they all had to die. It wasn't long before Caesar continued on to the next Tributes. I assumed that they wanted to get through with this fast. The announcement from President Snow was probably eating them up inside.

"Now that's heartwarming, isn't it? We love the siblings just as much as they love each other! Up next we have Enobaria and Cato!" Caesar yelled. I groaned. I knew that they were going to talk about me. "Both are huge darlings in the Capitol and it would be killer to lose either one of them. Enobaria is best known for her teeth and we can't wait to see what else she can do with them."

"I can," I muttered, remembering her baring them at me yesterday.

"And then there's Cato. Oh, Cato. We know how much everyone loves him but no one loves him more than Aspen Antaeus," Caesar said. That was actually true. "I can't even imagine how the final chapter of their story will play out. This time, no one can deny their feelings about each other!"

They all let off little laughs. I noticed that everyone else was smiling at the pictures of Cato and I together before the first Games. We were constantly looking like we were in some type of argument. The comment actually made me smile a little and I shook my head. That was true. No matter what, the final chapter of our story was going to be a tragedy. I already knew that. So did he. But we were both thinking it because of two different reasons.

"There have been already thousands of people begging that the couple be allowed to win together but unfortunately that is not in the cards this time," Caesar said.

There went the last hope that I had that maybe the Capitol would actually let us leave together one more time. "People have been requesting that?" I asked.

"Apparently," Haymitch said.

"Only every Capitol citizen," Effie answered.

"Oh," I muttered.

"Only one can walk out of here. As much as we love them, the rules can't be bent twice. But we will love to see their final moments together!" Caesar cheered, his sad face being replaced by a smile.

I shook my head and had to resist throwing something through the television. "Please, they're going to love to see me get my head cut off by some Tribute with an attitude problem," I sneered, making Haymitch smile slightly.

Even Effie seemed to be fighting off a smile. "I somehow think you'll be a little quicker on the draw," Haymitch said, alluding to my earlier work with the bow.

"Maybe it is good that Brutus didn't come here," I muttered.

"Trust me when I say that it's a good thing," Haymitch said.

The rest of the Tributes went by quickly. There was nothing shocking about anything that they said about any of the Tributes. They had said and Mags was someone sweet that they were glad to have back. Beetee and Wiress were both underdogs but they had proven themselves more than once. Finnick was still the Capitol darling and I was a little convinced that Claudius had a crush on him. The Tributes from Districts 5 through 10 had all been given decent chances to win. In fact, everyone had a good chance to win. Except for Mags and Chaff. Since she was so old and he was missing a hand.

But even Chaff had better chances than some Tributes from outer-lying Districts in past years. Everyone was going to figure something out in the upcoming Games. We all had our niches and ways to manage ourselves in the Games. They were just getting to Haymitch and me when I tuned back in. I was more curious to see what they had to say about him than what they had to say about me. I didn't care what they thought of me.

"Now here we have two amazing Tributes in their own rights. Haymitch is an older Victor but he is incredible all the same. The way that he won was impressive for a District 12 Tribute and we are excited to see if he can surprise us once more," Caesar said.

I could tell that the line was written for him. They hated the way that Haymitch had won. But they had to be nice to every Tribute. "It will also be interesting, seeing as he is the only person with Quarter Quell experience firsthand," Claudius mentioned.

"As for Aspen, well... We love The Girl on Fire!" Caesar said. "We can't wait to see what the fiancé of fellow Tribute, Cato Hadley, can do for her second time in the arena! Perhaps she will make friends with another mutt!"

Now they were both laughing. My spine felt like it had snapped in half at how fast I had straightened up. "Assholes," I growled.

"Relax. It's just a show," Haymitch said.

"No. Of course we don't want to see that. But we would love to see her get home to the family she has fought so hard for over the past year," Caesar said honestly.

I supposed that he could have made that much worse. At least the ending had been endearing. "That's true. We can't wait to see what our darling girl can do here," Claudius said.

I snorted. "I am _not_ their darling girl," I snarled.

"Shut up," Haymitch snapped.

"Now we're just getting word in that President Snow is ready to give his special announcement that no one has been clued into yet. Not even us!" Claudius chirped.

Slowly I raised a brow. No one had been told what this was? That made it another ten times worse. There was no good reason that Snow wasn't telling anyone what was happening. Maybe Snow was going to tell everyone that he was finally going to kill me and we would go back to the normal Quarter Quell. My heart was pounding rapidly as President Snow faded into the picture. He was by himself on the screen in what looked like an office. He was wearing a pristine white suit and I stared at him.

"Good evening to all of Panem," he greeted in his slippery voice that made me distrust him so much. "I welcome you to the Seventy-Fifth Annual Hunger Games. And I welcome this first, very special announcement in the Games." I sucked in a breath. Here it came. And I had a horrible feeling that he meant for his beady eyes to be trained solely on me. "I would like to repeat the earlier situation, that we have a pair of lovers in the Games this year. Aspen Antaeus and Cato Hadley are engaged and have been for six months."

My heart nearly stopped. I could have handled me getting dragged into something. The last thing that I wanted was to accidentally get Cato dragged into something. He deserved to have a much nicer life without me. I had known that this was going to be about me. At least Cato was going to get sucked into this too. It couldn't be that violent if he was announcing it on the television. It was selfish but I didn't want to be alone.

"Unfortunately their wedding was to be during the Crowning Ceremony of these Games. But we know that only one can make it out," President Snow continued. So far I wasn't hearing anything about them shooting Cato or me. "To show that the Capitol are in good spirits and would like to see our couple happy, if even just for a while, I would like to do something for the happy couple. I have been planning for a few weeks now with the help of some advisors." Maybe he really wasn't going to kill us. "Please allow me to announce that in two days' time, after the announcement of the Tribute scores, you are all invited to tune into the biggest joining in Panem's history."

"Joining?" I asked dumbly.

"Shut up," Effie and Haymitch snapped.

 _What?_ "The wedding of Cato Hadley and Aspen Antaeus." _What?_ "We want you both to happy, even if it is only for a short while. We want you to be able to die as a married couple." _Charming._ "Congratulations. The details are already in order and there is nothing for you worry about. Relax and allow us to take care of everything. Cato and Aspen, this is for you," President Snow said.

On the television, President Snow raised his glass, clearly as a cheer for Cato and me. _What?_ The screen faded out and Caesar returned into the picture. _What? What the hell had just happened?_ Something that I obviously hadn't been paying much attention to. I had to have heard it wrong. Had he just said that we were going to get married? No. I imagined it. He had actually said that when I died he was going to hang my carcass above his mantle. Yes, that made much more sense.

"Wow! For the first time in history a marriage is going to be between two Victors and it will be broadcast to the rest of Panem!" Caesar yelled happily. I must have mistook the names. He must have said Finnick Odair and Annie Cresta. "What a kind gesture to the young couple. This is incredible. Go on, Claudius. What do you think we can expect from the wedding between our two favorite Victors?"

Hesitating for a few moments, I finally looked up to say what a nice thing that was to do for the two District 4 Victors when I saw that both sets of eyes were on me. I turned back to the television and saw that a video of Cato's proposal to me was playing. I hadn't imagined it. It was really happening. In two days' time I was going to be married to Cato. But why? Why would President Snow have done that? I would have figured that having us married would just be something to make people want us together even more. I was clearly missing something here.

Looking back over to Haymitch and Effie, I saw that they were both fighting to keep their mouths from dropping open. Effie's weird portable telephone was making strange chirping noises. I could see that she was standing up and starting to answer her calls. Haymitch was grinning down into his drink. The cameras were showing the Capitol in the midst of their celebrations. My face was white and I figured that in a moment it was going to be green. I had to have misunderstood something.

"What the hell just happened? I didn't just imagine that, did I?" I asked.

My questions were coming at a mile a minute. I was shocked that Effie was actually sitting in silence rather than babble over how happy she was for me. I wondered if Cato was as shocked as I was. Now I was very glad that he wasn't here. I wouldn't have wanted to try and stand the awkward silence that was sure to ensue.

"Did he just say that I was getting married? In two days?" I continued.

"Yes," Effie whispered.

"He isn't serious, is he?"

"I think he is."

"He wants us to get married, for real? What the hell just happened?" I repeated stupidly.

The room was silent for a moment more before Haymitch stood to go turn the television off. He did so and grabbed me a small bottle of amber liquid. I grabbed it from him and chugged, forcing myself to keep the liquid down. Haymitch grabbed it from me just before I could drain the small bottle and placed the cork back in it. I was looking around pathetically and Haymitch seemed to have finally gotten past the shock. He leaned back against the television and raised a glass to me.

"Congratulations. You're going to be a bride after all."

 **A/N:** Here's another fully edited chapter. **Let me know what you think!** Until next time -A

 **no name lol: I'm so sorry that it took me so long to get this update out. I hope that it was worth the wait! And thank you for being my sole reviewer!**


	12. Chapter 12

Sunlight was streaming into my window and I sighed, rolling over in my bed slightly. Part of me had been expecting to bump into Cato, as I normally did in the morning, but I had heard him leave in the early hours of the morning. It had been well before the sun had even started coming through the windows. Not that I could be surprised. We both had things to do this morning and didn't need to be caught in bed together. Not anymore than we normally did. Cato hadn't said anything when he had left but he had scribbled down a note. I glanced over and picked it up from the side of the bed.

 _Woke up early to head back to my room to get ready for individual training. Didn't want to wake you up. I'll be there for training this morning. I'll see you down there, whenever you decide to come. I can't wait for tonight. I love you_

 _\- Cato_

Smiling at the note, I placed it back on the bedside and yawned. It had been a late night. Cato and I had unfortunately had a disastrous training day yesterday, so bad that I might as well not have even gone. We had managed to start working a little better in the afternoon but the morning had been even worse than my first day of training last year. I was just glad that he had come back to my room with me last night to make me feel a little better. Haymitch and Effie had left us alone, knowing that we had wanted the night to ourselves.

They had been right. The second that training ended we had come back up here, grabbing a quick snack from the kitchen. The two of us hadn't even bothered getting ourselves dinner. Sort of because I didn't really want to eat anything but partially because I didn't want to sit in even quasi-public for two seconds longer. It wasn't exactly like I had done a lot of work to burn off the calories that I'd had for breakfast during the day.

After the two of us had shared a quick shower and a night together, laughing and kissing like we were just two, lovesick kids. It was something that I had genuinely appreciated and something that had made me feel better about everything. It made me feel like he really was about to be my husband in just under twelve hours. But now he was gone and it was back to the harsh reality of the world. My clothes were on the ground, scattered about the room, and I laughed when I saw that Cato's light jacket was on the ground too. I would have to remind him to grab it later.

Standing from my bed and grabbing my training clothes, I let the sheets fall away from my bare form. The air in the room was cold and goosebumps automatically rose on my skin. I would probably go down to training this morning - as I and almost everyone else avoided it last year - since I was reasonably friendly with all of the other Victors. Last year I was concerned about avoiding Cato. Funny how things changed, considering that I was heading to my wedding with him in just a few hours. I walked immediately into the bathroom and stared at myself in the mirror. There were a few bruises on me and I laughed.

Some were from Cato and my wrestling matches last night. He was rather impressed that I was so fast and flexible, and that I knew a number of strange moves, but he was much stronger. It let to him winning almost all of our little fights. Others of the bruises were from slightly less innocent activities. I laughed again before turning on the water and stepping under the stream. The water was warm on my shoulders and I relaxed onto the side of the glass wall. I had been so tense over the last two days from the announcement of the wedding that I felt like yesterday I hadn't even really been there.

It had mostly been me floating through training, pretending like I understood what was going on. There were some moment that I did manage to collect myself and straighten up, but most of the time I felt like I was just looking down on myself. I could tell that all eyes had been on me, and sometimes Cato, but no one could have cared less about how I was training. They wanted to know whether or not I had been in on the announcement. That answer was a big hell no.

The second day of training had been a nightmare. I had been out of it and so had Cato. For a while, in the morning, neither one of us had even spoken to the other. However after a quick kick in the ass from Haymitch, I had forced myself to speak with Cato. He clearly hadn't known about the wedding either and seemed as thrown about it as I was. It was obvious to the both of us that we were going to have to go through with it. President Snow would kill us both if we tried to back out of the wedding. And it wasn't like we were really put off by the marriage. We just didn't want to have to do it in front of the entire country.

Training that day had not just been a nightmare because of the announcement, but also to security and the Peacekeepers. They had had a big problem trying to keep press down about Cato and I being in on the wedding. They were constantly trying to push the reporters away from the doors, insisting that it was still training and we still had to be in private. We had stayed away from each other during most of training to try and help. But when we had been together we had been speaking in hushed tones about what we thought was going to happen the next day.

During training I had been privy to cruel comments and jeers from plenty of the Tributes. They were nice to me during other times of the day - and many were not quite as cruel - but there were a number of loud comments that weren't very sweet. Johanna had made more than one loud comment about how we were upset that all attention hadn't been on us. It had been enough to make everyone laugh and me grit my teeth. There had also been a particularly nasty comment about how the wedding was to cover up an illegitimate child between the two of us. Most of the Tributes had laughed loudly at that comment.

It was enough to get me to walk away from Johanna and avoid her for the rest of the day. Thankfully they had calmed down after that, sensing that the comment really had hurt me. It was obvious enough that I hadn't been in on it. Gloss and Cashmere, on the other hand, had been infuriated that we had taken away their spotlight. They clearly thought that they were going to be the stars of these Games. They were seething over our wedding. I was positive that a few knives that had barely missed me were a little more than mere accidents. Needless to say, I had spent most of my day hiding from them.

It wasn't just that people were being cruel to us. There had also been plenty of people to congratulate us. Caesar Flickerman had stopped by the penthouse that morning to congratulate me. It was the first time that I had met him out of the spotlight. He was just as chipper when he wasn't in the spotlight. I had been late to training because we had actually gotten caught up in the conversation. It was rather nice to speak to him like a normal human being. I had found myself actually becoming rather fond of him. It turned out that even he wanted me to be able to win with Cato.

Seneca Crane had been with him and he had congratulated me as well. He still had the dark circles under his eyes and I noticed that more than once he sent a weary look over at Haymitch. There was something very wrong with him and I was debating asking him to join me on the roof again. I wanted to know what had happened to him. Claudius Templesmith had been there with them and he was as unpleasant as I could ever remember. I had wanted him gone the moment that I had met him.

At lunch that day most of the Gamemakers and Plutarch Heavensbee had come to congratulate me. Most of the older Tributes as well had thought that the wedding was sweet. Mags, Wiress, Cecilia, and Seeder had seemed the happiest for us. It made my heart twist with guilt as I thought about having to kill them in a matter of days. Beetee and Wiress had been some of the first to tell me that they were happy for us and I thanked them, ensuring that they were going to be there. They had both said that they wouldn't miss it for the world.

Not that they had a choice. They would likely have to be there. The pair from District 6 had both smiled at Cato and me and I had taken that as a sign that they were happy for us. Finnick had brought us both to the spear station and had pleadingly asked if he could be the best man. We had both laughed loudly and told him that he would be a groomsmen. The only people that we wanted as the maid of honor and best man were our families. And they weren't coming. That was the worst part of this whole thing.

The good thing was that, as far as actual training went, things had gotten to be a little bit better. Because after my shooting and throwing exhibitions, I still got teased some, mostly about what was going to happen on the wedding night, but I no longer felt like I was being mocked. In fact, I felt as if I had somehow been initiated into the Victors' circle. It was rather nice. It had been a long time since I had been able to be truly happy around a crowd of people. I was very glad that, other than a few passed comments, the wedding was largely ignored.

During the next two days, I spent time with almost everyone who was headed for the arena. Even the Morphlings, who, with Cato's help, painted me into a field of yellow flowers. Cato wasn't great with brushes, but he had a remarkable eye for detail, describing every contour of my face and the exact color of my eyes. It was fascinating to watch the three of them work together. I had never been so happy to actually sit around them. They had eventually reached up and painted yellow flowers onto my cheeks, smiling and giving Cato a picturesque wooded terrain on his synthetic skin.

We had both been heartbroken when it had been time to leave. I wanted to be friends with them forever. Not leave them or have to kill them. Even Finnick, who gave me an hour of trident lessons in exchange for an hour of archery instruction. He was much better with the bow and arrow than I was with the trident. I was good with swinging it around, as I was fast, strong, and flexible, so I was actually a rather good fighter with it. But, as for throwing it, I might have a chance, but I wouldn't have enough of a chance with someone like Finnick, who was genuinely skilled.

The more that I came to know these people, the worse that it became. Because, on the whole, I didn't hate them. And some I liked. Actually, there were a number of them that I liked. I liked all of them. Maybe not Gloss and Cashmere or Johanna, but I did like the rest of them. And a lot of them were so damaged that my natural instinct would have been to protect them. But all of them must die if I was to save Cato.

Unfortunately after the relatively good ending of the second day of training we had been faced with something new. They had given us an additional day of training. At first I had thought that it would be because we were Victors and needed some more time as many of us were older and weaker. But it turned out to be much worse. It was a party thrown in honor of Cato and me. And everyone, in the evening, after an additional four hours of training we had been given in the morning, was forced to be there.

As mortifying as training had been, after many mixed incidents with wayward arrows and rogue knives over the hatred for the upcoming party, the day had gotten even worse. I had been forced to go to the feast. All of the Victors were told to be there as it was a celebration for Cato and my wedding the next day. We had spent most of the day together during our extra day before being pulled apart to get ready. Cinna had made sure to get me ready with the Prep Team, who were feeling much better now that they had a wedding to focus on in the meantime before the Games.

I had to admit that I would rather listen to them complain about my nails, dull hair, and hairy legs, than have them cry over how my impending death would affect them. The Prep Team had done my hair up in an intricate braid - a much fancier version of the one that I normally did - before putting some lighter makeup on me. Mostly white with some hints of gold. My dress had been a soft silver that had floated around me like I was on a cloud.

Finally we had been ushered into President Snow's mansion and I had been humiliated to see that Cato and I were put directly in the middle of the table so that we could hear everything that was being said. The whole evening was televised though, so it meant that no one could get too cruel with each other. But it also meant that we had to smile and laugh the entire time. It was easy to tell that no one really wanted to be there. They looked happy to get another day until the Games, but they definitely didn't look happy with me.

They all probably wanted to put their salad forks through my eyes. I wanted to jab it into my eye. After the dinner, that I had barely been able to keep down, there had been dancing. One of my least favorite things. Because no matter what I always got suckered into dancing with the people that I was the least fond of. President Snow had not requested a dance, thank the heavens, but Seneca Crane had wanted more than one dance.

However he had barely spoken to me during the dances and he had been more respectful than I had ever seen him. He actually hadn't made the night half-bad. We had even exchanged a few sort-of jokes. Plutarch Heavensbee had granted me a few dances as well and we had, surprisingly enough, had a few nice conversations. I had told him about District 12 and he had told me about how much he really hated the way that everyone in the Capitol dressed. When we had separated for the night and he had told me that he couldn't wait to see the wedding, I actually hadn't been forced to smile. It had been real.

Nearly ten hours after the end of the party I was now in the shower and shaking at the thoughts of what was going to happen today. I hated the fact that I had no idea what to expect. People spent months and weeks sometimes thinking about what they wanted to do for their wedding. My entire wedding had been created in two days' time. They had been thinking about the wedding for months but the entire thing had been moved up and suddenly finished after being placed on hold for the past two months.

It didn't help that the guest list had almost no one that I really knew. It was being broadcast to everyone in Panem and my family wasn't even going to be there. On top of it all I hadn't even known that I was getting married. One of my favorite parts was that I had no idea what to even do. I knew to walk down the aisle and say 'I do.' I was going to embarrass myself up there. I wanted to try and push my thoughts to individual training this afternoon but I couldn't. All of my thoughts were going into the wedding. I wondered if Cato was thinking the same thing right now.

The next few days were simple enough. Group training in the morning, individual training in the afternoon, the preparations and wedding would be tonight after the announcement of the scores. At night we would have another party. Tomorrow we would have our day to prepare for the Interviews and then the actual Interviews would be the day after. After that we would finally be in the arena. This was my fifth day here and in three more days I would be in the arena.

Jumping out of the shower I stepped onto the plate and let it dry me off before walking over to the mirror and pulling my hair up into a loose ponytail. I pulled on the training outfit and turned to the side, trying to imagine that in a few hours I would be in a wedding dress. I couldn't picture myself in one. I looked too... wrong. It hadn't even looked right when I was in the wedding dresses for the photo shoot. The whole wedding had been this fictional thing, but now it was real.

Walking out of my room I saw that Haymitch was already seated at the table in his training outfit with his phone in hand. I wasn't thrilled to see him. He had made a number of comments about the wedding. Nothing cruel or mean, but just enough to get him to frustrate me. He was a pain in the ass. A pain in my ass. And my wedding day would be no different. He was hanging up with someone before hearing me stepping out of my room. He turned back to me and I watched as his grin widened.

"Well, well. If it isn't the blushing bride?" Haymitch greeted.

"Shut up," I snapped.

Part of me wanted to laugh but the smarter part of me knew that he was just trying to get me in a tizzy before going to training. And it had worked. It always worked when he did things like that to me. So I rolled my eyes and tossed a bread roll at him. He chuckled as I started piling some eggs on my plate and digging into them. Haymitch merely laughed again and went back to his breakfast. Effie rolled her eyes and stood up to place the bread roll into the trashcan in the kitchen. Leaning back in my chair and downing my coffee, I glanced over at Haymitch.

"Aspen. About the wedding -" Effie started.

"What are you going to do in training today?" I asked Haymitch. I wanted to ask anything to get my mind off of the wedding tonight. It was going to drive me insane.

My question had clearly thrown him off slightly and he raised his eyebrows. "So now we're willing to do anything possible to not have to think about the wedding tonight?" Haymitch asked, laughing softly.

I rolled my eyes at him as he grabbed a bottle of liquor and poured a little bit into his mug of tea. I laughed and shook my head. "Yes. Asshole. Tell me," I snapped.

"That's quite the attitude from someone about to get married," Haymitch teased.

"I might as well just go down to training now. You're annoying as hell," I muttered.

"Fine, I'll bite. I haven't really thought about what I'll do."

"Me either," I admitted.

"I might just bring in a bottle and drink it. I'm pretty fast. It's quite impressive," Haymitch said, before draining his mug.

We both I snorted loudly and glanced over at Effie to see that she had looked up from her compact just long enough to roll her eyes again. We both fell silent and went back to eating our breakfasts. I downed the eggs quickly and poured myself a cup of tea once I had downed the coffee. I hadn't slept much the night before, half thanks to the wedding and half thanks to Cato. Effie clearing her throat brought me out of my thoughts that were slowly making a blush rise to my face.

At least my thoughts hadn't gotten any more time to progress. "Oh, Aspen, dear. After training I want you to go directly to Cinna," Effie said.

"For?" I asked dumbly.

"You're getting married today," Haymitch said blandly.

"I know that! Trust me, I haven't gotten the chance to forget. It's been plastered everywhere. I was just wondering why I was going right there afterwards," I growled.

"He isn't going to start on you automatically," Effie continued, as if she hadn't even heard our squabble.

I raised my eyebrows. I had thought that Cinna would need all day to prepare me for the wedding. "He doesn't need all day?" I asked.

"No. That's why the wedding is today and not tomorrow. You got most of the full treatment a few days ago and were redone yesterday. Today will be a relatively short preparation. Only four hours!" Effie chirped.

"Short," I scoffed.

"But you need to be down there. He's going to walk you through the procedure with the outfits," Effie said.

"Outfits?" I asked dumbly.

"The dress, darling. But before he does that he's going to send you to Plutarch," Effie continued.

She never looked up from her compact while she was saying something about what was happening that involved me. "Why?" I asked suspiciously.

Even Haymitch looked stern. And when he wasn't laughing, that was when I knew that something was bad. I needed to know what Plutarch wanted with me. I liked him well enough but he was still the Head Gamemaker. That didn't mean that I liked him. Effie finally glanced over and smiled, clearly trying to hide some type of secret. I assumed that she knew why I was going to go down to Plutarch but she wasn't going to tell me why. That made my stomach clench with anger. Was it really so hard to tell me what the Head Gamemaker wanted from me? Apparently.

"He has something to give you I believe," Effie said.

I rolled my eyes. "No, thank you," I muttered.

"Relax, dear. It's just a wedding present," Effie said.

"I don't like Gamemaker presents. I've had a few in the past and I wasn't very fond of any of them," I said.

Haymitch snorted loudly but it was the truth. Especially when it came to be a present because of a milestone in Cato and my relationship. "Don't worry," Effie said.

"You do know that the Gamemakers don't like me very much? Particularly not the Head Gamemakers," I said.

"I already know the present and I think that it's going to be something that you'll like," Effie said with a little wink.

Nodding at her, I grabbed Haymitch's mug from him, noticing that he was starting to sway back and forth slightly. The last thing that we needed was for him to pass out right before the individual training. I needed him to rank high enough to keep Sponsors from trying to find another alliance to help out. I grabbed the mug and downed the rest of the liquid, nodding slightly. It was actually pretty good. I didn't blame him for wanting it. Effie gave me a sharp glare for it.

"I'll have to take your word on that," I muttered.

"Trust me," Effie said.

 _The way that I trusted you not to pull Prim's name last year?_ I didn't dare actually say that. "So is anyone going to actually tell me what's going on today?" I asked.

Both adults in the room turned their heads to look at me. "You're getting married," Haymitch said blandly again.

"Shut up, Haymitch!" I barked.

"There's a plan, Aspen. We'll tell you as the day goes on. Focus on individual training right now," Effie said.

"That doesn't help me at all. Not knowing just makes me even more paranoid and useless. Two days ago I had no idea that this was even going to happen," I explained.

They both sighed and gave each other long looks. I had figured that they would know what was happening with me. Someone had to know, at least. Not everyone could possibly be clued out on this thing. For a moment the room was silent but finally Haymitch sighed and pushed his plate away from himself. I noticed that he had barely eaten anything on it. Just a few scoops of eggs. Maybe he would eat more at lunch later. He needed something to sop of the alcohol.

"We know a little bit about what's going to happen. Like Effie said, go down to Cinna once training is over. He's going to give you to Plutarch who is going to give you a wedding present," Haymitch said.

"Got that," I said.

"After that you're going to go back to Cinna and he will get you ready for the wedding. The wedding will begin at eight tonight," Haymitch said.

"When will it end?" I asked.

"When the sun comes up," Haymitch said.

"Awesome," I groaned.

That was way too long. I wanted to sleep. "The scores are announced at six. You will probably be still in Cinna's chair when they come on. Make sure that you see them," Haymitch continued.

"Okay."

"A few minutes before the ceremony begins, Finnick and I will come to get you," Haymitch said, grabbing the bottle from the floor and taking a swig of it.

"Stop drinking! We have training today," I barked.

He ignored me and drank even more. Rolling my eyes at him I sighed and titled back a small glass of water. The one thing that didn't make any sense to me was why Haymitch and Finnick would be coming to get me. I could find my own way to the wedding. I wanted to make sure that they were going to be up at the altar with everyone else that I cared about. As much as they annoyed me, I loved them and I wanted them to be a part of the biggest moment in my very short life.

"Shouldn't you guys be at the wedding at that point?" I asked, trying to pretend like I didn't care.

For the first time that I had known Haymitch, he actually looked a little abashed. "President Snow was insistent that someone walk you down the aisle and give you away," Haymitch said.

"How? My father is dead," I said awkwardly.

"Someone else," Haymitch said.

Even though I wasn't one hundred percent sure what he was going to say, I had an idea. And it made my heart warm. "Someone else?" I repeated.

"Since your father isn't around, we thought that Finnick and I could give you away. If that's alright?" Haymitch asked.

"Was this your idea?" I asked.

"Finnick and I decided on it," Haymitch said. "I wanted to run it by you."

Out of the corner of my eye I noticed that he was squirming around uncomfortably in his seat. It made me smile that he thought that for a moment I was going to say no. He was the closest thing to a father I had, besides Cinna, and Finnick was the closest thing that I had to a brother, besides Gale. I would be thrilled to have two men that I loved walking me down the aisle. It was also something that I knew that my parents would love. Mostly because they had both been close to Haymitch, who had tried so hard to save my life and keep me alive, which he had done a good job with.

"That's more than alright. I consider you a father and Finnick is like a brother to me. It would be an honor for the two of you to give me away," I said, reaching across the table and grabbing Haymitch's hand. "If you say something stupid, I'll stab you."

"You always like to think the worst," Haymitch said.

"When it comes to you? Yes," I said.

"Relax. It's your wedding day. I'll be nice," Haymitch said.

"Thank you."

Haymitch was grinning at me and I smiled softly back at him. As much as he drove me up the damn wall, I really did love him. Besides Katniss and her family and Gale and his, he was really the closest thing that I had to family. He had been in my plans when I had wanted to leave and he was always the first person that I wanted to go to when there was a problem. Even before Cato. I loved Cato's family, too, but I didn't know them that well.

"Oh, how sweet!" Effie chirped from the side.

Haymitch and I separated, the both of us looking over at her with narrowed eyes. "Ruin the moment," Haymitch said.

"Now, Aspen, I don't know about the entire bridal party but I know a few people on both sides," Effie said.

"The what?" I asked.

"The bridal party. The women and men who will stand up at the altar with you," Effie explained.

There were going to be people up there? I had been drinking my water glass when she spoke and I spit a little bit of it up onto my plate. Haymitch laughed and I turned to glare at him. There went the loving him like family attitude. "I don't get to pick my own bridal party?" I asked, a slightly shocked tone to my voice.

"Sort of," Effie said awkwardly.

"Cato doesn't get to pick his people?" I asked.

There weren't very many people that I liked here in the Capitol but I still would have appreciated the option to get to pick out the people in my bridal party. "Did you honestly think that you were going to be able to choose who walks down that aisle with you?" Haymitch asked.

He was right. "I didn't really think about it," I muttered.

"Before you say anything, Effie... Aspen, all of the Victors will be in the front rows," Haymitch continued.

"I'm sure they're thrilled about that."

At least there would be some people that I knew. "Even the ones that aren't going to be in these Games. They're all being brought in," Haymitch continued.

"Really?" I asked dumbly.

"Yes. It's a big event. So are most of the people in the Capitol. There are going to be well over a thousand people in the audience."

"What?" I asked, horrified.

"And the entire world will be watching," Haymitch said.

"That does not help," I snapped.

"It will be the most amazing wedding in history! High expectations, high-priority guests, and top-of-the-line food!" Effie cheered.

Sighing weakly, I nodded at them. That was well over four million people that would be watching. I blanched at that thought. So many of the people that were going to be at my wedding I wouldn't even know. The only people that I really wanted there were going to be at home, way back in District 12. I wouldn't even mind Cato's family being there, but they were going to be in District 2. Our own families weren't even going to be here.

"No pressure or anything," I said. Haymitch laughed.

"Just repeat what they tell you," Haymitch said.

"Okay. Effie, you were saying something about knowing people in the bridal party?" I asked.

She turned to me with a little smile. "Ah, yes!" she chirped brightly. "Thank you for reminding me. On Cato's side there is going to be Haymitch, Finnick, Cinna, Brutus, and probably a few others that I can't think of."

That was good. "Does Brutus have to be a part of the wedding?" I asked.

"Aspen," Haymitch warned.

"I hate him," I snapped.

"Well Cato doesn't. He's like a part of their family back in District 2. And he's essentially acting as Cato's father while his real father is back in District 2," Haymitch reasoned.

"You're right," I muttered, seeing the sense in his argument.

"On your side there will be anyone else that you want!" Effie chirped.

I smiled at her. "Including you?" I asked.

She looked a little surprised. "Well they already told me that I was going to be there but I wanted to make sure that you wanted it," Effie said, almost abashedly.

"Of course, Effie," I said brightly.

Of course she was going to be on my side. "Wonderful! There aren't many females that we could think to put with you. You seem to get along more with the boys. So, is there anyone that you would want on either side?" Effie asked.

She was right about one thing. I didn't get along with the girls very well. I did, and always had, gotten along with the boys better. We were more similar and I was bad at talking about girly things like clothes and boys. But I needed someone up there so I thought for a moment. _Katniss. Prim. Ms. Everdeen. Madge. Greasy Sae_. I wanted them all here but they were going to be back in District 12 watching. So I had to think of someone else. Not Johanna or Cashmere. I didn't know Cecilia or Seeder that well either.

"I want Wiress, Mags, and Annie Cresta up there with me," I finally said, surprising myself a little.

"Do you know Annie Cresta?" Effie asked.

"Not really. But she seems nice and I wanted to get to know her," I muttered.

"She'll be wonderful to have with you," Effie said.

In all honesty, I just wanted to look like I had some friends. Cato had always been the more social of the two of us. I had been in a few conversations with both Wiress and Mags and I liked them both. They were very sweet and had been some of the few to seem that they were genuinely happy about everything that was happening to me. Annie I had never met though, but I wanted her there. I wanted to be friends with her even if it would only be for a few days. I liked her. And if Finnick loved her I knew that it meant that she was a good person. Effie nodded at me.

"Cato can have whoever he wants with him. He's getting the same option to put anyone else up there too, I guess?" I asked.

"Yes," Effie said. "Brutus is arranging it."

Finally I asked about our families. No one had actually said that they weren't going to be there. I had just been assuming. "What about our families?" I asked.

"What about them?" Effie asked.

"Will they be here?" I clarified.

For a moment I thought that Effie was going to say that they were going to be there and my heart inflated. More than anything I wanted them to be here with me. I wanted them to be at my wedding. They were supposed to be at my wedding. It was one of the most important moments of my life. But it was only a moment before her face fell and I sighed. I hadn't thought that they would be allowed to be here. Not if President Snow was in charge.

"Oh, well... They'll be allowed to watch with the rest of the world but I don't think that they're going to be in here," Effie said.

"All right," I muttered.

"There are already too many people coming to the wedding. So many people wanted to celebrate with you!" Effie said brightly.

There was a large smile on her face and I rolled my eyes. She couldn't be too caring for too long. It made me furious. Of course there were already too many people coming to the wedding. Of course our families wouldn't have been at the top of the list. They would have been at the very bottom. Breaking the slight tension in the room I glanced over to Haymitch, who was grabbing my hand and pulling me to my feet. I stood with him and pushed my chair into the table.

"Alright, as fun as it is talking about Aspen being forced into a marriage, I think we have somewhere else to be. Don't forget that you still have a life or death competition to go into in two days," Haymitch said.

"How could I have forgotten?" I asked.

As focused as I had been on the wedding I hadn't once forgotten that I was still in a competition to fight for my life. Or rather, for Cato's life. I had already resigned myself to death. "Come on, girl. Your man is waiting," Haymitch said.

We both said a quick goodbye to Effie before making our way into the elevator. We rode down a few floors until we stopped on the fourth and Finnick and Mags got in. Mags was hanging onto Finnick and she smiled at me before turning to stand facing the doors. Finnick was standing next to me and he grabbed my hand quickly before we came to the sub-levels. We walked out and headed straight into the training room. I exchanged a few comments and a kiss with Cato as the two of us went to practicing.

Since we only had a few hours before lunch, and subsequently private training, I decided to spend twenty to thirty minutes at each station. I spent a lot of time at both the animal hunting and archery stations. It had taken some urging from Cato to get me to leave and try something else, considering that I was so good with them both. I tried with axes, and even got some pointers from Johanna, surprisingly enough, as I had offered her some pointers in archery. There was no doubt that we didn't like each other but there was some mutual respect between us, since we were both such bitter people.

Afterwards I took some boxing lessons, learning exactly when and where I was supposed to hit someone to disorient them as fast as possible. I was still rather lousy at camouflage but I took some lessons from the Morphlings, who were teaching me to disguise my very easy-to-spot hair. They were helping disguise it as a little closer to brown to make me blend in with the trees. I wasn't fond of the edible insects stations, as they were all disgusting, but I was getting better with the edible plants.

Briefly I went over to the fire-starting section and started working without flint. Just in case I couldn't pick up a pack. I had to make sure that I could work with anything. Mags showed me how to perfect some fishhooks, as I was suspicious that there would be a lot of water in the arena this year, before I moved on to the hammocks. It was mostly to sit back for a little while before I could head to the hand-to-hand combat section.

We were through different fighting moves and attempted three different fights. I won two of them and would have won the third if I'd had a weapon on me. I'd spent much longer than the time that I should have allotted myself at the knife-throwing station. Finnick had eventually dragged me away from them to go over to the knot-tying station. We had done all of the knots twice over before walking off. We did the ropes courses afterwards and I was actually getting much better at them.

Shelter-making was getting a little easier but I knew that we would likely have to stay on the move during the Games. I used a scythe for a while with Cato, but he was much better at them than I was. I was just reminded of the fact that Thresh had used them and I quickly moved on. I gave slingshots a little try too but I was painfully reminded of the way that Rue had used them. I had to give it to her. They required good aim and she had been much better than I was with it. For a while I worked at spears with Finnick and found that we were both getting better with them.

Afterwards I went to the sword fighting station with Cato and he worked with me until I was at least proficient in a fight against him. Just in case there were only swords. We were all forced to do the Gauntlet and I managed to come in third - behind Cato and Finnick. I taught Cato how to climb trees a little speedier and spot branches to support his weight before heading to the tridents again for another lesson with Finnick. We finished with some weight-lifting before I headed for a wrestling match against the trainer, which I managed to win without getting myself naked or oiled down.

The final day of training ended with our private sessions. We each would get fifteen minutes before the Gamemakers to amaze them with our skills, but I didn't know what any of us might have to show them. We had all done enough during training and no one wanted to do anything more for them. They all knew what we were capable of. There was nothing more that we could do to surprise them. At least, not that I could think of.

There was a lot of kidding about it at lunch. What we might do. Sing, dance, strip, or tell jokes. There were lots of jokes that I should recite my wedding vows. Of course, I hadn't even written them. I had joked that I couldn't assault the Gamemakers again this year so I had nothing. There were other jokes that I should just model some of my new fashion designs. Mags, who I could understand a little better now, decided that she was just going to take a nap. I didn't know what I was going to do. Shoot some arrows and throw some knives, I guessed. Haymitch said to surprise them if we could, but I was fresh out of ideas.

After lunch we were officially kicked out of the training room for private training to begin. I walked out into the hallway with everyone else, heading to the chairs leaning up against the side of the walls. Traditionally the chair were lined up on each side of the wall and no one spoke to each other while they waited for their turn, although sometimes the Tributes that were trying to make alliances would chat. This year was a little different.

Instead of the chairs being against the wall in order, they were in rows. Each row had four seats, two on each side with an aisle down the middle. The aisle led to the doors where the Gamemakers were waiting. A few Tributes were milling around, some were sitting in the chairs, and others were lying across their row. A few were standing around and many people were in small groups. None of the chairs were numbered and Peacekeepers were hardly paying attention to the fact that the room was in disarray. It was nothing like last year.

Out of the corner of my eye I saw that Cato had been sitting with Enobaria and Johanna. He had left before me while I was trying to put everything back in order. Woof was listening but seemed to be barely able to stay awake. Cato let Johanna finish what she was saying before motioning to the back of the room and leaving. They had become reasonably friendly, which was fine by me. I'd rather her take out her anger on me than him. He walked over to me and Haymitch nodded at us, leaving to go sit with Chaff.

"You were busy this morning," Cato said, kissing me on the top of the head.

"Just trying to make use of the time that we have."

"Are you ready?" Cato asked. I nodded, even though it was a blatant lie. "Do you even know what you're going to do?" I nodded again. It was another lie. I hadn't even really thought about what I wanted to do in private training. "Are you going to actually talk to me or are you just going to keep nodding your head?"

Finally I glanced up at him. I had thought that he might be a little upset with me but he was more giving me a small smile, knowing that my mind was off in another world. "Sorry, I'm just a little distracted," I told him, grabbing his hand and pulling him to the back row.

He sat in the chair in the aisle and I hopped over him, sitting in the one against the wall. I propped my back up against the wall and stretched out, my legs draping over his. "I figured you would be," Cato said.

"I thought that I was just going to have to worry about getting a good score tonight but now I couldn't care less. All I wanted was to go to training and get another good score."

"I don't think anyone cares much about their score this time."

"No. We all know what we can do and so do the Sponsors."

"No point in making it a show this time."

"They've got a while different show now. I'm getting married tonight. We're getting married," I said, hardly believing it.

"Made for quite the surprise," Cato said.

"It just doesn't even sound real. I don't know if I quite believe it yet. It's almost like I'm waiting for someone to jump out and yell surprise," I said with a little laugh.

Cato laughed too as he grabbed my shoes and began to play with the laces. I smacked him to get him to stop but he merely smacked me back, yanking the laces so tight that he was cutting off the circulation in my foot. I wanted to snap at him but I knew that he was just doing it to get a rise out of me. So I sighed and shook my head, stretching my foot out to let him have free reign with my shoe. He smirked. It was the same thing that he had done in the first Games.

"Yeah, I understand that. I thought it was a joke when I first heard it," Cato said.

"Me too."

"Aspen, I have to ask you something."

"Okay," I said nervously, looking over at him.

"Do you really want to go through with this?"

"Do we have much of a choice?"

"No. But... I mean, we have to go to the wedding. We don't have a choice there. But we don't have to really be married. I mean, we don't have to treat each other any differently," Cato said softly.

His voice was low so that none of the other Victors could hear us but I blushed slightly, knowing that even if we were alone he wouldn't have said it loudly. He didn't want me to hear the emotion in his voice. I knew that he wanted this. He didn't know that I wanted this and it hurt me that he wasn't aware of whether or not I really wanted to marry him. I did. I wanted it more than anything. He had to know that. I grabbed Cato's hand and sighed.

"That's not what I meant. I don't want you to think that I don't want this. I love you. I don't mind getting married. I actually think that it's nice. Before I die I like thinking that there's someone who really loves me," I said, giving him a soft smile.

Kissing him briefly, I moved back away from him. "I do. Love you," Cato said.

"I know."

"And I will until the end."

"Marrying you doesn't upset me, it's the fact that we're being forced into it. That they won't even let our families be here," I huffed.

For a moment I saw a brief flash of anger in Cato's eyes and I knew that he was probably furious too. Not that I could blame him. He had an entire family back home and friends too. I imagined that he wanted Julie and Skye here to explain to them what was going on. His mother too. I wondered what she was thinking about the second child of hers getting married. I wondered what my parents were thinking, if they could see me now.

"I heard about that. I can't stand it. The only people, besides you, that I would ever want at my wedding are my family. And they won't even let them be here," Cato said, with a sigh.

We were in the same boat. "I know. I feel the same," I muttered.

"I can only imagine the look on my mother's face," Cato said, laughing softly.

"I'm so sorry that your mother can't be here," I said.

"That's alright. She's at least watching. At least she'll get to see me get married."

"Maybe she'll see you get married in District 2 one day."

"Aspen -"

"Not today. No fighting on the wedding day. Sorry. I shouldn't have said it."

"That's okay. This whole thing... People that we don't even know at the wedding. No say in how or when it happened. I don't even know what the vows are," Cato admitted.

"Me either. I'm just hoping that we get up there and make it fast."

"Which is exactly what no one is supposed to say on their wedding day," Cato teased.

"We can slow it down when it comes to the night," I whispered in his ear.

He turned into me and gave me a longing kiss. "Save it for tonight," Cato said.

"Look at that. Cato Hadley learning how to control himself," I teased.

"All because I'm about to be a taken man," Cato said.

Despite the fact that this was a serious situation that we were in, I laughed. It was nice when we got to mess around with each other like that. Cato cracked me up when we talked about things like that. The fact that we were about to be married in a few hours, which still didn't feel real. I had a feeling that back home my friends and family were steaming over the fact that I was getting married and none of them had been clued in on it. I knew exactly how they felt.

"I know. If I thought that my reaction to the announcement of the wedding was funny, I wish I would have been able to see my families," I told him, laughing loudly.

Cato laughed too as we both imagined the look on our families faces when they found out that we were going to have a wedding two days before the Games. "I start thinking about their reactions whenever I get annoyed," Cato said.

It made up both snort. "I'm pretty sure that Prim was thrilled. She must be upset that she can't be here," I muttered.

"At least she'll see it."

"That's true. Ms. Everdeen probably just laughed," I said, before snorting. She had the best reactions.

"Really?"

"Yeah. She knows how the Capitol works. It won't surprise her. I imagine that Katniss probably fainted," I said, imagining the girl falling out of the tall chairs that sat by the kitchen table.

It made Cato laugh. "That good, huh?" Cato asked.

"She would die. Gale... Well I hope that no one was around him when he found out," I said nervously.

Wringing a strand of hair around my fingers, I sucked in a breath. I hoped that Gale hadn't been around his younger siblings or Prim. I couldn't imagine that the language that had come from his mouth was very nice. "Yeah, I can only imagine how disgusted Aidan was," Cato told me.

Any time that I had ever met Aidan he did not seem like the type that liked any sign of affection. "I'm sure he wasn't very fond of me," I said.

"Not really you. Just this whole thing."

"I don't think he likes me too much either."

"He thinks you're pretty. It's an area of contentment between the two of us."

It was enough to make me relax. "Calm down, tough guy. Your brother is a cute kid, but I like you," I said.

"You have very poor taste," Cato said.

"Yes. I do."

"Marley and Leah were probably confused about everything. My mother and father probably had a near heart attack. Maybe my father more than my mother," Cato said.

"I get the feeling he doesn't like me very much," I said.

"He does. He's just weary about everything that's happened to me since I met you."

"I'm sorry."

"Don't be... I love you. And I wouldn't change anything that happened," Cato said.

"Good," I whispered.

"Dean and Carrie are probably over the moon."

"They always did seem to like me the most."

"They do. As for Skye and Julie... I think it's probably a good thing that they aren't coming. I think they'd kill me before I made it down the aisle," Cato said.

It made me snort. I had a feeling that they weren't thrilled about our new status. Leaning up against Cato, I sighed and grabbed his hand tightly. I would really appreciate if I could say my vows before someone decided to kill either one of us. I glanced around and noticed that Finnick was cutting up an apple for Mags and many other Tributes were laughing with each other and talking, not bothering to keep their voices down. I blanched when I looked at them all. They were going to be dead. I would have to kill them just to make sure that Cato lived.

"Look at all of these people. They all have families and friends back home. They aren't arrogant little kids that you just want to see drop dead. They aren't exactly nameless faces," I muttered.

"They've been Victors for years. We knew that they would be here," Cato said.

"Look at them. Do you really think that we're going to be able to kill them?" I asked.

Cato sighed under his breath and grabbed my hand. Everyone seemed to be smiling but a few people were sitting by themselves. Even those that were by themselves, seemed to be listening in on other conversations and laughing. It was probably the nicest thing that I had ever seen between people in the Capitol. I wondered what the precious people would think if they could see their Tributes sitting together, happy, not even thinking about harming each other.

"We have to," Cato said.

His hand had tightened over my leg slightly. "I know. I just don't want to," I said softly.

"If we're going to be able to get out of this, one of us, we are going to have to kill them," Cato said.

My heart contracted when I realized that he had said one of us, not both of us. This time there was now getting out of it. One of us was going to die, and if we weren't careful both of us were going to end up dead. But that couldn't happen. It was Cato's turn to live. Not mine.

"It's going to be so hard. Enobaria, Wiress, Beetee, Mags, Finnick, Cecilia, Woof, Chaff, Seeder... Haymitch," I trailed off, barely saying it above a whisper.

When I glanced over at Haymitch I immediately looked away. He was like my father and I was going to have to kill him. But I wasn't sure if I could. "I know, Aspen," Cato whispered, pressing a kiss against my forehead.

"You know he's going to give me away tonight," I said weakly.

"Are you okay with that?" Cato asked.

"With him giving me away? Of course. With killing him? I have to be. I know that we have to, but I can't even process having to hurt some of them," I muttered.

As the girl from District 12, I was scheduled to go last. Unfortunately Cato was only the third person to go into the room this year. Gloss and Cashmere would be before him. The dining room got just a little bit quieter as two of them eventually filed out to go perform. But it was still loud enough to speak. Although I did realize something. It was easier to keep up the irreverent, invincible manner we had all adopted when there were more of us. All of us. As people would disappear through the door, all I could think was that they had a matter of days to live.

Eventually Cato reached across the table to take my hands. "Decided what to do for the Gamemakers yet?" he asked.

I shook my head. "I can't really use them for target practice this year, with the force field up and all. Maybe make some fishhooks. What about you?" I asked.

"Not a clue. I don't want to just swing the sword around. They know that I can do that. And it makes me feel like a performing monkey. I was thinking about just going in, saying my name, and leaving," Cato said.

"Don't do that. You need somewhat of a good score."

"People know that I'm good."

"Still," I goaded.

"There's nothing else that I'm really good with," Cato finally admitted.

"Do some camouflage or something. You weren't bad with it when we were over there," I suggested.

"If the Morphlings have left me anything to work with. They've been glued to that station since training started," Cato said wryly.

A minute later Finnick dropped by and teasingly made a few comments about our upcoming wedding. It led to many requests for dances and pictures with the happy couple, embarrassing us both. It was rather funny to sit around with all of the couples and friends. But the more time that I spent with them the worse that things became. They were my friends. All of them, in some way or another. And I couldn't kill them. We sat in silence awhile before I blurted out a repeat of the thing that was on both of our minds.

"How are we going to kill these people, Cato?" I asked.

"I don't know," Cato finally said.

He leaned his forehead down on our entwined hands. "I don't want them as allies. Why did Haymitch want us to get to know them? It'll make it so much harder than last time. Except for Rue maybe. But I guess I never really could've killed her, anyway. She was just too much like Prim," I said weakly.

Cato looked up at me, his brow creased in thought. "Her death was the most despicable, wasn't it?" he asked.

"None of them were very pretty," I said, thinking of Glimmer's and Coral's ends.

"I'm sorry," Cato said.

"I guess I shouldn't think about it. I should be focused on the happier things. Like the fact that I'm getting married tonight," I said.

Unfortunately I wasn't able to keep the slight excitement out of my voice. Cato laughed at me and gave me a quick kiss on the mouth. It only led to another round of bereavements from the rest of the Victors. I heard Finnick made a disgusted noise from the side and I rolled my eyes at him. He would be doing the same thing with Annie if they were in our place. He opened his mouth to say something but before he could get anything out an automated voice came over the intercom.

"District 2: Cato Hadley," the voice barked.

He stood and I noticed that he looked much less excited than he had last year. Last year I had thought that he was going to explode from excitement before going into the individual training. Although I had been a little focused on getting him away from me and trying to not run into him at the party. How things had changed over just a short year... This year it looked like he could have cared less about the training.

"Good luck," I said.

"You too," Cato said.

"I guess the next time that I'm going to see you will be at the altar," I told him.

"I'll see you at the wedding. I love you. I'll be waiting for you at the end of the aisle," Cato said.

"I wish you could walk with me."

"Doesn't work like that. Sorry," Cato said, pressing a kiss against my forehead.

"Damn you."

"Next time I see you we'll be married."

"That makes me even more nervous," I said.

"District 2: Cato Hadley," the voice repeated.

"You should go. I think they're getting annoyed," I teased.

"I love you. I'll see you soon," Cato said.

We nodded at each other as he leaned over, giving me a soft smile and a kiss before walking into the door. I was glad that he was going to be my husband in a few hours, but I was also extremely nervous. Settling back into the chair I sighed and shut my eyes. It wasn't long before I heard the voice of Finnick pop up next to me. I opened my eyes and saw that Mags was now sitting with the Morphlings. Finnick was now occupying the seat that Cato had been in only a few moments before.

"So I hear that Haymitch told you that we were both going to be giving you away at the ceremony tonight?" Finnick asked.

"So I hear," I said.

Finnick sounded just like Haymitch. A little bashful. I liked the way that it sounded on Finnick. "I want you to know that you don't have to be polite," Finnick continued.

"What do you mean?" I asked, confusedly.

"If you really want to walk down that aisle by yourself, you can," Finnick explained.

A sudden panic shot through me. "No!" I shouted.

All heads turned to me. I blushed and shook my head, staring down at the floor instead. Obviously I had been a little too loud, much to my embarrassment. Finnick laughed and placed a hand on my knee. The last thing that I wanted was for all eyes to be on me at this point. I wanted at least two other people there with me. And since Finnick was such a charmer, I hoped that a lot of attention would be on him as well as myself.

"I mean, no. If you leave me alone, I'll kill you," I warned.

"I'll be there," Finnick promised.

"I really don't want to have to go down that aisle by myself. It means the world to me that both you and Haymitch want to walk me down the aisle. To give me away," I said softly.

Honestly I was hoping that no one else could hear me. This conversation seemed extremely private for some reason. Even though everyone here would have to go to their Stylists for my wedding immediately after their private training session. Finnick smiled at me and turned so that he had one leg thrown over the other. His boots smelled like the ocean and I smiled. Everything about him radiated that he was from District 4.

"Hey, I never had a real family. They were taken from me a long time ago. I won't ever have a child either," Finnick said.

He would have made a wonderful father and Annie would make a wonderful mother. "That's not true. You might," I said softly.

"Maybe. But in a different world. No one that I can ever walk down the aisle and I'll never be able to do it either. So the least that I could do is make sure that you do," Finnick said, taking my hand.

Finnick pulled my hair out of its braid and run his fingers through it. "I'm sorry, Finnick. I would give this wedding to you and Annie in a heartbeat," I said.

Finnick smiled at me. "Thank you, Aspen. But it will be good for you," Finnick said.

"I'm not so sure. I don't really want it. I don't need something this big. There's already too much attention on Cato and me. You deserve some of it," I said.

Finnick shook his head at me. "Keep your hair down. It looks better like that," Finnick said.

I laughed, smiling at him and nodding at him. "Okay," I promised.

"But are you kidding me?" Finnick asked.

"What do you mean?" I asked.

Me wanting to give him the wedding? I thought that it was going to be something nice for me to do. "I would lose all of the Sponsors that I have! And no job either," Finnick explained.

We both laughed bitter laughs. But he was right about both. Half of the reason that he was so popular was because people thought that they had a chance with him. "Yes. That would be very disappointing," I said.

"I'm going to go and leave you be for a while. You should probably think about what you want to do. Good luck," Finnick said, putting a hand on my shoulder.

"You too. See you tonight," I said.

We smiled at each other and I waved him off before settling into my chair and closing my eyes. A moment later Mags was called into the training room. My eyes were closed as I leaned back in the chair and I could hear the conversations dwindling as a few more people came and went into their training sessions. The room was gradually getting quieter and I liked hearing it. But I noticed that things were getting tenser the closer that we came to the beginning of the Games. More than once I heard a sneer from Johanna to not bother the bride. Internally, I groaned and rolled my eyes, wishing that she would drop it.

Finally having enough of her attitude I shut her out and began to think about what it was that I could do when it came to be my turn to do my private training. It was just a little while away. I probably should have been thinking about it yesterday but I couldn't find myself to. The wedding had been the only thing on my mind. But I had to stop that. I had to think about what I could do. I could start like I did last year and do hand to hand combat, but I wasn't sure that it would end very well. I was pretty sure that I wouldn't be able to concentrate long enough to actually win the fight.

Johanna was called by the automated voice and I sighed gratefully. I was sick of the little jeering comments that she was throwing at me. That was all that I wanted, for her to leave me the hell alone. She was a pain in my ass. And I could only imagine that she was going to be worse when tonight came around. I really didn't want to see her at my wedding, the one day that I was going to try and pretend that I was having a good day and a good life.

Although, on the bright side, the only people that seemed to think that they were funny with the wedding jokes were Gloss and Cashmere. And, on occasion, Enobaria. As I went back to my own thoughts I came across the bow and arrow. That was probably going to be my best bet, but unfortunately it would be hard to beat what I had done on the first day of my training. The Gamemakers already didn't like me very much and I knew that bow and arrow tricks rarely impressed them. I just didn't know what to do after what I had done last year. I didn't know how to outshine that.

There really wasn't any way to outshine what I had done last year. There was no more using them as target practice. I had to figure out something else to do. Sighing deeply, I thought about maybe using a knife. That was the weapon that I was the best with, as I could do a number of fascinating things with them, and I should probably make up for what I had done yesterday in the training room. Which had been a complete accident, but very embarrassing.

When I had been thinking about whether or not the wedding had actually been planned ahead of time I had been throwing a knife. Clearly I hadn't been too focused because my knife went flying way off target and lodged itself in a wall that the District 6 male had been hiding near. I felt awful for startling him and I was pretty sure that he would never set foot near me again. As much as I did like the Morphlings, I had a feeling that they would now be avoiding me.

Not that I really blamed them. Had I done something like that I wouldn't have wanted to come anywhere near me either. That hadn't been the only incident. I had cut my hand a few times too by spinning it and getting lost in my own thoughts. It wasn't just the fact that I was too distracted to do anything, it was that I didn't want to do anything. I wasn't passionate about anything like I had been last year. I had wanted them to see me fight, I wanted them to see me throw knives, and I wanted them to see me with a bow and arrow. Now I didn't care what they saw from me.

As Chaff was called into the training room I glanced around and realized that it was just Haymitch and me left. We had only been here for a little under three hours. That was a hell of a lot faster than it had been last year. Last year the entire individual training had taken just over five hours. It was because everyone had wanted to be as wonderful as they could be to make sure that they had Sponsors. But everyone outside the arena knew what we could do this year. This year it seemed that too many people didn't care about what was going to happen to them. They didn't care about what the Gamemakers thought of them.

They didn't care about their scores. With the exception of Cashmere and Gloss, it seemed that the younger people hadn't been taking nearly as long as the older people. Although when it had come to be Cato's turn, I was sure that it had been almost forty minutes before Wiress was called in. I was sure that he was the longest. Taking a seat next to Haymitch near the front of the waiting area my heart began to beat rapidly. Whether it was for tonight or right now, I had no idea. I just knew that at some point today I was going to make a fool of myself. It was how these things went.

"How you doing?" Haymitch asked.

"I'm alright," I said.

"Know what you're going to do?"

"No. You?"

"Nope. Knives, maybe."

"I was getting to the point that I might just go in, say my name, and walk right back out."

"Don't do that," Haymitch snapped. "Do something to show them who you really are."

"And who are you, Haymitch?"

"A proud, Mentor," he said, patting me on the leg.

I smiled weakly at him. "Friend, Haymitch. We're friends. No matter how many times we say that we hate each other," I said.

"Of course," Haymitch said, laughing.

The two of us fell silent as we waited to see when we would be called in. Haymitch was obviously able to tell that I was nervous so he put his arm around me and I sighed. I sank into him for a few minutes and just laid there. I knew that I was going to be called in with just another two people and I still had no idea what I was going to do. I supposed that it was just going to have to be something that I would make up as I went. The automated voice came back over the speakers and I sighed.

"District 12: Haymitch Abernathy," the voice called.

"Good luck," I said.

"Thanks. Good luck in there. Remember to show them who you really are. Oh, and don't forget to go down to Cinna after this."

"No problem. See you out there," I said.

"Keep calm. It'll all be over soon enough."

So Haymitch got up and walked into the training room. I slunk back in my seat to sit in a content silence. But it wasn't long before I started getting up and pacing through the room. I was feeling a little sick as I waited it out. I thought that I was going to fall flat on my face but I was able to keep upright as I paced in the room, kicking my feet across the floor. Haymitch was right about one thing. This year wasn't about showing off. It was about showing them who I really was. But the question remained; who was I? I didn't even know the answer to that.

"District 12: Aspen Antaeus," the voice called.

I could have sworn that it sounded a little resentful of me. But that was just my paranoia. So I walked into the training room fully, letting the doors close softly behind me and plunging myself into darkness. As I walked in I found myself feeling a little nervous. Suddenly I was thinking all about Cato and how long he had taken during his individual training. Why had it taken so long for him to get in and out? Had he done something that he wasn't supposed to do?

The lights in the training room were down more than they were in the hallway. I walked into the room and saw that this year all of the Gamemakers were looking at me. A few were more focused on nursing their drinks but they weren't talking. They had learned from last year. But this time I couldn't shoot anything at them. I had to figure something else out to go to them. I walked over to the bow and arrow station, seeing as it was the only thing that I trusted myself with at the moment. For a moment I glanced up at the Gamemakers.

When I made it all the way into the center of the room, I smelled the sharp odor of a cleaner and noticed that one of the mats had been dragged to the center of the room. What had happened? The mood was very different from last year's, when the Gamemakers were half drunk and distractedly picking at tidbits from the banquet table. They whispered among themselves, looking somewhat annoyed. Was it something that Haymitch had done? No... I had a very bad feeling that Cato had done something and now that I was here, they were annoyed again. What did Cato do? Something to upset them?

There was a pang of worry that shot through me. That wasn't good. I didn't want Cato singling himself out as a target for the Gamemakers' anger. That was part of my job. To draw fire away from Cato so they were taking out their anger on me and not on them. But how did he upset them? Because I would love to do just that and more. Payback for everything. To break through the smug veneer of those who used their brains to find amusing ways to kill us. To make them realize that while we were vulnerable to the Capitol's cruelties, they were as well.

 _Do you have any idea how much I hate you? You, who have given your talents to the Games?_ All of them. Every single one of them I hated more than anything else. I tried to catch Plutarch Heavensbee's eyes, but he seemed to be intentionally ignoring me, as he had the entire training period. I remembered how he sought me out for a dance, how pleased he was to show me the Mockingjay on his watch. His friendly manner had no place here. How could it, when I was a mere Tribute and he was the Head Gamemaker? He was not Seneca Crane, who was watching me. Plutarch was so powerful, so removed, so safe...

And suddenly I knew just what I was going to do. Something that would blow anything that Cato did right out of the water. But just as I went to move, I realized that they hadn't completely eradicated what Cato had done. I could just make out his writing. They hadn't had enough time to completely scrub them. Cato had a surprisingly good hand. All of the Tributes from last year. Their names were scrawled over the hanging dummies near the knife-throwing station. Each one symbolized their respective Tribute and their death. But Rue and Peeta's were the ones that caught my eye.

Rue's was the closest to where I was standing. Hers was the only one laid down on the ground. There were some remnants of green, purple, pink, and red paint. No blood. No. He had drawn her in the meadow that I'd sung to her about. The flowers surrounding her, even painted onto the dummy. And Peeta's... His was rather plain. But it was the background that caught my eye. The golden glow that surrounded his body. _The ovens were in the back and a golden glow spilled out the open kitchen door._ Peeta, who had saved me from starving, a story that Cato had never forgotten.

It wasn't until they called my name that I realized that I was crying. "Miss Antaeus. Miss Antaeus!" Plutarch Heavensbee called. I slowly turned to look at him. "You have fifteen minutes to present your chosen skill."

For a moment I walked over and grabbed the bow and a single arrow, standing in front of the target. I knew that I could make the shot, it was an easy one. Every Gamemaker was watching me and Plutarch Heavensbee was standing, watching me with bright eyes. He clearly had high hopes. But I never released the arrow. I didn't want to do this. I didn't think that I could. Haymitch's words kept playing in my mind. _Remember to show them who you really are_. If Cato was brave enough to do it, so was I. I let the arrow loosen from the bow before dropping it and the bow to the ground and turning to the Gamemakers.

"I'm not doing this for you," I snapped.

Any of the Gamemakers that weren't watching me before were now. I knew exactly what I was going to do. The one thing that I knew that they couldn't manage to get over. Cato had shown them just how strong he was. Now I was going to show them just how strong I was. Just how much I cared about _everyone_ that had died last year - from Rue, to Peeta, to Thresh, even to Marvel and Glimmer and Clove. Everyone that had ever died. During the Games, because of them, or just from the cruelty of the Capitol. It was my time to show them who I really was.

So immediately I got to work doing what I could. I went over to the knot-tying station and got myself a length of rope. The Gamemakers looked very curious about what I was doing. Thankfully I had watched Finnick that first day in training. I had a feeling that I could manage it. I started to manipulate it, but it was hard because I had never made this actual knot myself. I had only just once watched Finnick's clever fingers, and they moved so fast. After about five minutes, I had come up with a respectable noose.

In the meantime, I dragged one of the target dummies out into the middle of the room and, using some chinning bars, hung it so it dangled by the neck. Tying its hands behind its back was another nice touch, but the knot was very messy. I was probably running out of time. I hurried over to the camouflage station, where some of the other Tributes, undoubtedly the Morphlings, had made a colossal mess. But I found a partial container of blood-red berry juice that would serve my needs. The flesh-colored fabric of the dummy's skin made a good, absorbent canvas. Just the way that Cato had managed.

As I worked I started speaking. "I'm going to tell you a story," I said determinedly. I was sure that it was the first time that anyone had spoken in private training. Many eyebrows rose as I looked away and got to work. Plutarch smiled. "When I was very young, long before I can remember, my life wasn't half bad. I had a loving mother and father, before I was even born. They adored me. But it couldn't last. Like everything else in the Districts, everything was taken from me. It started with them. My father, on the day I was born. Who can celebrate the day that they were born as it was the day that their parents died? No one... Not even me.

"Two days after I turned two, my mother's life was finally taken from me as well. I can't even remember them. The president took everything from me. My parents, any potential siblings, and any sense that I'd ever had of myself. The only thing that I ever knew was anger. But I was lucky. My mother's best friend took me in, right before my mother was going to die. Now that I had a safe place to live, I felt truly at home for the first time. It was the only time that I'd ever had love in my life. The only time that I could remember.

"In my new life I had real friends, something like sisters, and a woman that would always be a mother to me. Somehow, I had managed to get everything that I ever wanted. A new family. But I should have known that all would not stay that way. The one thing that came from having people that I saw as a family was that I would have died for them. For any of them. And after the man that became my second father died, after I nearly starved to death to save them, and after I was whipped for saving a girl from starving to death, I realized that my bad luck was not over. It never would be.

"So, one day, my sister was to be taken to the Capitol. She was going to die, in a pointless competition to scare the Districts into submission. Having seen so much evil, I already knew that I could take it. Death didn't bother me. For a while I thought that I might enjoy the peace of death. All I knew was that I couldn't bear to watch my sister die, so I stepped in for her. I knew that I was going to die. It was something that I'd owned up to. It was okay.

"On my way to death, I met all sorts of people. I even met the man that I would fall in love with, even though I tried to avoid him. For I knew that it would only end in pain for me. More pain. More pain that I couldn't handle. But somehow, during all of the events that surrounded me leading up to the moment that I feared would be my death, the people named me something. Something that I didn't understand at first. My actions had made me a true hero. They made me a Mockingjay." A few gasps that came from the Gamemakers. "A slap in the face to the Capitol. Ever since the first rebellion.

"The unsuccessful one. Another one would follow. Is following. For the entire competition I tried to avoid it. I didn't want to be their hero. That meant nothing to me. There was nothing that I wanted to do other than getting back home to them. To show them that even though my parents couldn't do it, I could. I only wanted my family back. They were the one thing that I could never stand to lose. Not after everything that I already had managed to lose.

"Somehow I made it through. I don't know how. To this day, I still wonder how. With everything that they did to try and hurt me. The mutts, the fire, the Tribute attacks. Everything that they used to try and kill me. But that doesn't matter. I made it through and the man I love did too. We proved that the Capitol could be beaten. We are going to prove it until the last day of our lives. We lost friends and, for a while, thought that we had lost ourselves. I was forced to do things that I never wanted to do. Never thought that I could do. All that I wanted was to go back to my family and for things to fall back in place.

"They never did. That wasn't a possibility. The people still saw me as the Mockingjay. The Capitol was starting to as well. I tried to deny it. For months I didn't want anything to do with the name. But as time went on and I saw that the Capitol were taking out their anger, their fear, on the people that saw strength in me, I knew that she had to fight. I knew that it didn't matter that I didn't want it or that I hadn't asked for it. These people, just like my sisters, needed my help. And I am always going to be there to help them. Even if it means that you are going to kill me. I knew that, no matter what, you are going to kill me.

"But I have long embraced death. I don't fear it. I don't fear what the Capitol can do to me. I only fear that I won't do enough for the people that love me. For those that believe in me. Now I know that I have done everything in my power. I know that these people will continue to fight on for me. They will have the strength that took me too long to find. But whether I am dead or alive, I know one thing. I will always be their Mockingjay. I accept it. I want it. I am the Mockingjay.

"Because you people are monsters. Every year you send twenty-three people to their deaths. You force one of them to live in horror and fear for the rest of their lives. You whipped me for saving a starving girl. You turned me to skin and bones because I was starving to death. You tore me apart in the arena. You almost whipped my best friend to death. You've threatened my fiancé, even though he doesn't know it, you've brought me into your bed, and I only did it to keep him alive. I will do just that. If you think for one second I will let you get away with killing a twelve-year-old girl, you're dead wrong."

All of the Gamemakers looked like they wanted to shoot me where I stood. Seneca Crane and Plutarch Heavensbee were the only ones that were grinning at me. I carefully finger-painted the words on the body of the dummy, concealing them from view. I took the bow and arrow back off of the floor, walked away as the dummy was still facing away from the Gamemakers, and fired the arrow into the head of the dummy, forcing it to turn and show the Gamemakers what I had painted on it.

On it was the name of every Gamemaker that I knew. Seneca Crane, Plutarch Heavensbee, Lucia, Artus, among a few others that I had heard when Seneca Crane had brought me into the Control Room. But, painted right across the stomach in the largest print, was President Snow. The Gamemakers were all on their feet. As I stared up at them, I did something that was both very brave and very stupid. I placed my hand over my stomach and took a low, and very teasing, bow; never once looking away from Plutarch.

The effect on the Gamemakers was immediate and satisfying. Several let out small shrieks. Others lost their grips on their wineglasses, which shattered musically against the ground. Two seemed to be considering fainting. The look of shock was unanimous. Now I had Plutarch Heavensbee's attention. He stared steadily at me as the juice from the peach he crushed in his hand ran through his fingers. Finally he cleared his throat to speak, but I spoke over him.

"I hope you've enjoyed my story. It's based on something very true and very dear to me," I said, a fierce look in my eyes. And I turned to leave before he could speak. But something stopped me. I made a full-front and stared up at the Gamemakers again. I had already made things bad enough. I knew that I was going to die. Why not make things a little worse? "Before I go, there's just one thing that I would like to say." Plutarch nodded at me. "I respect the Mockingjay. Most people do. Those who live in the Capitol seem to think something else. They fear her. For good reason. Do you?"

Burning hatred was in the faces of most of the Gamemakers and I smiled. If there was one thing that I wanted to do it was to make sure that they regretted having ever made me out to be the monster that they thought that I was. I was not. I was a kid that wanted to go home to her family. Now I was a war symbol. That they had made. They had created me. They were not going to destroy me. Many of the Gamemakers snarled at me before giving me the answer that I had known that they would.

"No," a chorus of voices snapped.

It seemed that the only person that hadn't said anything was Plutarch. He was merely watching me. "You should," I growled.

It was the last thing that I said before dropping the bow on the ground. The Gamemakers all snarled at me as I turned back and stepped over the bow, making sure to step down hard enough to break the bow. It snapped in two. At the last moment I couldn't resist tossing the container of berry juice over my shoulder. I could hear the contents splatter against the dummy while a couple more wineglasses broke.

There were a number more shrieks as I glanced back and gave a respectful nod of my head. They would definitely not be happy with me for what I had just done. I had essentially pretended to hang all of them. I smirked before walking out of the back entrance to the training room and breathed deeply once I was back in the hallway. Alright. This year I was definitely getting a zero. No getting out of it this time. As the elevator doors closed before me, I saw that no one had moved.

 _That surprised them._ It was rash and dangerous and no doubt I would pay for it ten times over in the arena. Not that I cared. They were destined to make my life miserable anyways. The only thing that I could hope was that they would leave Cato alone. But for the moment, I felt something close to elation and I let myself savor it. I wanted to find Haymitch immediately and tell him about my session, even though he would be furious, but no one was around. I guessed that they were getting ready for the wedding. And that was when I remembered that it was time for me to go downstairs and get myself ready.

I'd almost forgotten that my wedding was in a few hours. So I turned from the elevator and headed towards the Stylist hallway. As I walked I began to wonder about the wisdom of my latest trick. The question that was my guide was: Will this help Cato stay alive? Indirectly, it might not. What happened in training was highly secretive, as they couldn't reveal what I had done last year during the Interviews, and couldn't reveal it this year either. Not unless they wanted to look like cowards and weaklings.

So there was no point in taking action against me when no one would know what my transgression was. In fact, last year I was rewarded for my brashness. This was a different sort of crime, though. If the Gamemakers were angry with me and decided to punish me in the arena, which they undoubtedly would, just like last year, Cato could get caught up in the attack as well. Maybe it was too impulsive. Still... I couldn't say that I was sorry that I did it.

Sighing, well aware that I couldn't do anything to change what I had already done, I decided that I had wasted enough time lingering around. By now I wanted to get back Cinna to talk to him. He was the one person that might not yell at me for what I had done. So I ran back to him, not feeling that I was in the right mind to walk. I had set a huge target on my back now and it felt good to run without having to run for my life. Eventually I made it in front of Cinna's door, breathing heavily.

Not bothering to knock I simply walked into the room and saw that Cinna was currently pouring over a palette, probably deciding which one he thought was going to look the best on me. I could imagine that in a few minutes the rest of the Prep Team would be here to help me get ready. Although they were very sweet, they would definitely make me nervous. I smiled at Cinna and tried to slow down my heart rate as he turned back to me and smiled.

"Good afternoon, my beautiful bride," Cinna said.

"Hey," I said, smiling, although it probably came out as a grimace.

"You look sick. Are you alright?" Cinna asked.

"Uh... yeah. I'm good. Just a little nervous."

"Is it the wedding?"

"No. The wedding will be nice. As nice as the Capitol can make something anyways."

"Just focus on each other. Not what's happening. Did you do something during your individual training that you probably shouldn't have done?" Cinna asked.

This time he was giving me a knowing smile. Part of me was a little offended that he thought that I had done something that I shouldn't have but I brushed it off. That was what I was known for. There were a number of times that I had done something that I shouldn't have, and I knew that it wouldn't stop at any point. So I merely smiled and shrugged, sitting down on his couch and taking a mug of tea that Cinna had already laid out.

"Take a guess," I said, with a bright smirk on my face.

He smiled back at me, knowing exactly what I was talking about. He was smarter than anyone gave him credit for. "Probably something that you shouldn't have done," Cinna said.

"You've got that one right," I said, making us both laugh.

"Should I even bother asking what you did?" Cinna asked.

"Well..." I trailed off.

"I've had a busy and stressful last two days. I think I would like to hear something to make me laugh," Cinna said, with a little glint in his eyes.

Smiling at him, I shook my head and leaned back onto the couch, swallowing more tea than I had meant to and burning my throat slightly. After taking a moment to compose myself, I cleared my throat. "Then perhaps I should tell you," I said.

"Go ahead. I would like to hear."

"I don't know what came over me but when I went into there, I couldn't do anything. I didn't want to fight. Not for them. Not again. So I turned and told them a scattered version of my own story, obviously making them my villains. I told them that I was the Mockingjay and that I always would be. And I... uh... I hung a dummy by a noose in the rafters. And I painted the names of all of the Gamemakers that I knew on it and President Snow's name was in the middle. The largest of them. I shot an arrow through the forehead so that the Gamemakers could see what I had done. I broke the bow before I left. And I told them that they should be afraid of me," I explained.

Cinna grinned brightly at me as I'd told him my story, even though it was a very, very stupid thing that I had done during my private training. Cinna laughed softly before placing a sugar cube in his tea and stirring it. He didn't offer one to me and I was grateful. I hated sugar in my tea. I liked the bitter taste of the lemon. There was something about it that I liked.

"I do quite enjoy listening to what you do around all of these people," Cinna said.

"Thank you," I said, laughing.

"I just wish that I could be there with you. I'd pay anything to be able to see it," Cinna said.

"Oh, I wish that you would have been there. I think you would have loved it. I would have given anything for everyone to see it. It was quite something," I said, snorting under my breath.

"Let's get you downstairs," Cinna said.

"What?" I asked dumbly.

"Your wedding gift," Cinna explained.

I had almost forgotten about having to go downstairs and meet up with Plutarch for his gift to me. "Oh. Right," I said awkwardly.

"Plutarch would like to see you."

"That's probably not such a good idea," I muttered.

"Let me take a guess and say that you painted his name on the dummy."

"Yes..."

"Good thing he got his gift for you beforehand," Cinna said.

"Yes. That's probably very good," I said. "I wouldn't like to see what his gift afterwards would have been."

We both laughed as I got up. I followed him out to the loading bay near the train station and sighed. The only times that I was ever out here were for coming in and out of the Capitol. And I would never be here again. Because I was never leaving this place. Not while I was alive. Maybe whatever it was that Plutarch wanted to give me was a large gift. It had to be if we were somewhere this open. Cinna walked me to where Plutarch was standing and waiting and I smiled as he turned back to head back to his office. Probably to work on my dress for tonight.

"I'll be back here soon. Enjoy," Cinna said.

"Thanks, Cinna."

Plutarch was standing a few feet from me and he nodded before turning back to me. "Thank you, Cinna. You know when to return," Plutarch said.

"Of course," Cinna said, leaving my side.

"Miss Antaeus. I'm glad that you're here," Plutarch told me.

"Right," I said slowly.

I hadn't decided whether or not I was glad to be down here. "What a performance you put on," Plutarch said.

"Glad you liked it."

"It was the best I've seen by far."

"Well that's pathetic."

"Mr. Hadley has already been down to retrieve his gift," Plutarch said.

So it wasn't just me that was getting a gift from Plutarch. "That's very generous of you to get us both gifts," I said.

"I'm glad that yours got here right in time. Would you like to get your gift?" Plutarch asked.

"Sure," I said, nodded wearily. I wasn't sure what the hell was going to come of this.

"I'm extremely grateful that I got to put this together. Come on out," Plutarch called.

The Head Gamemaker was looking back into the shadows and I turned back to see what it was that he was looking at. I heard it before I saw it. A shout that made my blood freeze in my veins. It was a voice that was far too familiar that called out. I thought it was a joke and I turned back angrily on Plutarch. If this was his idea of a sick joke then maybe he wasn't even close to the good person that I had once thought that he might have been.

"Aspen!"

As I began to lose faith I noticed a trail of long blonde hair that I knew all too well. The voice had been exactly whose I had thought that it was. "Prim!" I screamed.

Without a care in the world I ran up to meet the younger girl. I hadn't gotten to say goodbye to her before. Now she was here. She was actually here. She launched herself into my arms and I noticed that tears were running down her face. I sobbed softly as I caught her and grabbed her so tightly that I thought that I might kill her. My tears fell into her hair as I pushed my head into hers. She pulled away from me and behind her I saw Katniss and Ms. Everdeen dashing into the bay.

"Mom! Katniss!" I yelled.

"Aspen!" Katniss cried.

Prim disentangled herself as I sprinted away and tossed myself onto Katniss. She laughed and pulled me as close to her as possible, somewhat crushing my bones and surprising me at her strength, before releasing me to her mother, who I embraced tightly. They were here. They were all really here. I had thought that the surprise was over but when Gale came sprinting out from behind the corner, I realized that it was even better. We slammed into each other as he grabbed me, picking me up and spinning me happily a few times. I laughed loudly in his ear.

"Gale!" I laughed, as he placed back down.

"Aspen," he laughed, placing his head in the crook of my shoulder.

"And all of the Hadley's," I laughed, as Cato's entire family came waltzing into the room, each one embracing me.

"Hello, Aspen," Damien greeted, giving me a small hug.

"Darling," Alana greeted, giving me a tight hug.

"Good to see you!" Carrie cheered, pulling me into a hug and exchanging kisses on each other's cheeks.

"You look... tired," Dean commented, earning a mean snap from Carrie. "But no less beautiful."

"Just came from individual training," I explained.

"Hey," Aidan greeted, sounding much less thrilled.

"Hi, Aidan."

"Aspen!" Leah cheered.

"Hi, sweetie," I said happily. Marley clung onto and cooed softly. I smiled at her, ruffling her hair. "Julie! Skye!"

There was a flash of two girls running towards me. I embraced both of the girls with smiles before they let me go and I could see the entire mash of people. "Nice outfit," Skye said, laughing.

"Happy wedding day," Julie teased.

"Thanks. Hey, everyone! What are you all doing here?" I asked, laughing softly.

Finally Cato's family stepped away from me. As happy as I was to see them, I was more happy to see my own family. I hadn't gotten my chance to say goodbye. This was my chance. And they could be here this time. They were all standing around me and I smiled as Prim leaned into my side. In the meantime, Gale and Katniss had their arms around each of my shoulders. Gale gave me a kiss on the cheek and I smiled brightly at him. He was happier than I could recall seeing him in a long time.

"I got them all here," Plutarch said.

I turned back to him with a smile. He had done this? "Thank you," I whispered.

"You're welcome."

"Even after I... Even after?" I asked weakly.

"Even after. President Snow wanted to keep in only people from the Capitol and the other Victors. But I convinced him that you and Cato deserved to have your families here for the most special night of your lives. Consider this also my gift to you for the immense amount of amusement that you've given me over the past year," Plutarch said, a little twinkle in his eyes.

No part of me thought that Plutarch was a good person. He made me sick, thinking that he was going to have a hand in my death. I had meant what I was thinking when I had hung the dummy in front of me. But this almost made up for what he was going to do to me for it. That meant nothing. He had gotten my family here for one last time before I had to go back into the arena for the last time. He had gotten them here for my wedding.

"Thank you... Thank you so much. I - I don't know how to repay you," I said, barely able to contain my excitement.

Plutarch waved me off. I assumed that he was going to leave us to have our reunion in peace. I appreciated that. "Make these Games something worth watching. That's the only thing that I need from you," Plutarch said.

"Of course," I said awkwardly. I hoped that I would be able to do just that.

"I think I'll leave you all to enjoy yourselves. You have a half an hour before Cinna is going to come down to retrieve you to get you ready," Plutarch said.

"Okay."

That was not a problem in the slightest. I would take a half an hour with pleasure. "Pleasure to meet all of you. Aspen, it was a joy seeing you. As always," Plutarch said, with a wink.

"Thanks," I said, stupidly waving at Plutarch as he left the loading bay.

"Oh, Aspen!" Prim chirped.

"Prim. Oh, I'm so happy to see you," I said, giving her another hug.

"I can't believe that you're getting married! Today, too. This is so cool!" Prim chirped.

"Yeah. Yeah, it is kind of cool," I said slowly.

She looked like the little kid that I had thought that she could be. I noticed that she was also wearing the blue dress that I used to wear to my Reapings and I smiled at her. It looked better on her than it did on me. The more that I looked at her, with her hair done the way that Katniss and I traditionally wore ours, I realized that Prim looked exactly like me. From the eyes, to the hair, to the stature, to the clothes. We could have been twins if I was a few years younger.

"Is this mine?" I asked, picking at the edge of the dress.

"Yes," Prim said bashfully.

"It looks much better on you than it ever did on me. Keep it, okay?" I asked.

"Thanks," Prim said softly. "Can I be in the wedding?"

"I would love that."

"Actually, I don't know if I really want to be in the wedding. I've had enough of being on Panem television," she continued, with a little shiver.

She was thinking back to the Reaping last year. If I had it my way, she would have never been on Panem television. She wouldn't have I wouldn't have either. Neither one of us would ever be anything more than normal District 12 citizens. Smiling at her, I nodded, grabbing one of her little hands. I wanted to bend down to her level but she had grown so much over the past year that we were essentially the same height.

"Yeah, I know exactly what that feels like. But I was actually hoping that you would be in the wedding," I said.

She brightened. I had spent a long time in training yesterday thinking about what I would want them to be if they had the chance to be in the wedding. Now they could be. "We can all be, right?" Prim asked.

"Even if they tell me no, I won't listen. Now that I know that you're all here, I'd like you all to be in the wedding," I said.

It was pleasing to hear everyone nodding and chatting softly about being in my wedding. I had been a little nervous that they would want to sit in the background. Turning to the side I saw that Carrie was walking forward towards me. She grabbed the hand that Prim wasn't holding onto. I leaned forward to give her another hug and leaned back to smile at her. I liked her a lot. She was one of the sweetest people that I had ever known. Certainly sweeter than any of my friends. But prickly and harsh were just the way that I liked them.

"Aspen, we would be honored to be in the wedding," Carrie said.

"Good," I said happily.

"Cato has already made Damien, Aidan, and Dean his groomsmen. Dean is the best man. He wanted to make sure that it was okay with you?" Carrie continued.

"Of course. They're his family. I wouldn't dare tell him that he couldn't have them," I said.

And they were my friends, too. I wanted them to be there with both Cato and me. "We're your family now, too. Maybe not quite yet, but in a few hours," Carrie joked.

"Yes. You are," I said.

"And he also invited Gale to be a groomsmen," Carrie continued.

My jaw dropped. That probably wasn't a conversation that had gone over very well. I was a little afraid of what Gale had thought of his first real meeting with Cato. They were the two most important men in my life. I wanted to make sure that they were both okay with each other. Plus Cato knew about the kiss that Gale had sprung on me. He couldn't have been happy about that. Gale seemed to notice that I was nervous so he smiled at me and wrapped an arm around me.

"And you said?" I asked Gale harshly.

"Relax, Tiger. I said yes," Gale said.

"Did you?" I asked.

"Of course."

I smiled, having to fight laughing at him. He would make a good groomsmen. If it weren't for Haymitch and Finnick, I would want Gale to walk me down the aisle. "Thank you," I said sweetly.

"Actually, we've had it arranged that I'm going to walk you down the aisle with Finnick Odair," Gale continued.

"What about Haymitch?" I asked. I wanted him involved in this too.

"Haymitch will be waiting for you at the altar. He is going to be giving you away," Gale said.

That made me more than happy. It meant that Finnick and Gale would be walking me down the aisle and Haymitch would be giving me away. The three most important men in my life, besides the one that I was about to marry. "Alright. Works for me. Mom, I was wondering if you would be the matron of honor? That's the right term, right?" I asked Ms. Everdeen.

"That's correct. And I would love to. Nothing would make me happier than to be at the altar with my oldest."

A large blush flooded my cheeks. I had known that Ms. Everdeen felt like I was one of her own but to hear her say it in those words made my heart swell with a love that I had never felt for her before. She meant the world to me. That was exactly why I had asked her to be such a huge part of my wedding. She grabbed my hand and examined the ring that sat on my finger. This year it would be my token into the arena but I hoped that Cinna would be able to hide my Mockingjay pin on the costume. Or even if he could hide it on the wedding dress.

Now there was only one other person. "Katniss, I'd like you to be the maid of honor. If you want to," I told her.

"Do I have to wear a Capitol dress?" Katniss asked blandly.

Everyone looked shocked as I turned to face her. They didn't understand that it was exactly the way that the two of us always were with each other. Her face was completely serious and I couldn't help but crack a smile at her. It wasn't more than a minute before we were both laughing loudly at each other. I leaned onto her arm and noticed that all of the faces around us were clad in smiles. Even Damien, who I had only met twice and hadn't smiled either time that I had met him, was wearing the tiniest of smiles. Alana and Carrie were both giving us bright grins. Aidan seemed to have appreciated the comment about wearing a Capitol dress.

"I'll shoot you if you don't get up there with me," I said.

"Good luck," Katniss scoffed.

"I don't want to hear it about the dress! Remember that stupid photo shoot and how moronic they all looked?" I asked.

"I remember you having a broken foot and trying to pretend that you didn't," Katniss said.

"You broke your foot?" Carrie asked.

"Yeah. We _both_ did. Slipped on some ice," I told her, making Gale snort.

"Ouch," Carrie said, not understanding the truth.

"Sounds painful. Glad to see you're both okay," Alana said.

"Thank you. I haven't seen which wedding dress the Capitol picked out yet but I imagine that it wasn't a creation from Cinna. Which means that it's going to be something absolutely horrific," I admitted.

I had a bad feeling that it was from President Snow and that meant that I would have to look like a Capitol citizen. I hoped that Cato could look underneath the dress. "What do you mean about the people choosing?" Julie asked.

"Please. I didn't get to choose when my wedding was, where it would be, who was coming, or where I would live. It would have been stupid for me to think that I could pick my own dress," I said.

"That sucks," Julie said.

"I know." Katniss still hadn't said whether or not she would so I suddenly sobered. "So... will you?" I asked her softly.

She looked shocked that I had even bothered asking her such a stupid question. "Do you really have to ask that?" Katniss asked.

She hated everything that had to do with the Capitol so I wasn't sure if she wanted to be a part of a Capitol wedding. Even if it was my own. "Well... you haven't always been known to like the Capitol," I said.

"You're my best friend and my sister. Even though I think that this whole thing is a damned sham, I want to be there with you," Katniss said. She had a way with words.

"Thank you, Cat," I said happily.

"Because I really know that you love him. Plus I might get a chance to crush President Snow's foot and tell him that I'm not used to heels," Katniss bit out.

Without meaning to I let out a barking laugh but it wasn't only me that laughed. Everyone laughed. Dean even threw an arm around Katniss's shoulders and I smiled at the reactions. Katniss blushed and looked a little uncomfortable at the contact. In the meantime Gale looked like he wanted to rip Dean's arm off. I smiled and shook my head, willing Gale to remember that Dean was married with a child.

"That's what I said the first time he wanted to dance with me," I said.

"So I'll actually do it. I'm not the one going into the arena," Katniss said.

"No. Please don't do that," I begged, even though I would like to see nothing more than the younger girl to step on President Snow's foot. "I don't need him to have any more reason to want to kill you guys."

Katniss shrugged, not noticing the way that Prim's eyes momentarily widened. "Whatever," Katniss growled.

"Anyways, I wanted to ask a few other things. Alana, Carrie, Skye, Julie, I wanted to see if you ladies would be my bridesmaids?"

The women all nodded happily at me. Carrie looked the happiest. I had figured that she would be. She had her own wedding but I was sure that she had never gotten to experience being a part of someone else's wedding. "Hell yeah!" Skye yelled.

The look on her face made me give a little smile. I could see why Cato had always been friends with her. Had I been raised in District 2 I was pretty sure that I would have wanted to be friends with her too. But would that mean that I would have always been friends with Cato and Clove? Would I still be getting married to him? No. Things would be very different. Distracting me from my thoughts, Julie piped up and I turned to her to hear what she was saying.

"What she means to say is that we would love to," Julie said, placing a calming hand on Skye's shoulder, who was currently bouncing with excitement.

"We've always hoped to be a part of Cato's wedding," Skye said.

 _One day I need one of you to get married to him, to help him get over me_. "Do you have any other bridesmaids? And are there any other groomsmen?" Julie asked.

"Yeah," I said, raising a brow. I would have thought that Cato would have at least said something about the groomsmen.

Julie seemed to notice my reaction to her question and she rolled her eyes. "Cato failed to tell us. Useless," she scoffed.

Smiling at the younger girl I grabbed her shoulders and laughed with her. "He is a little useless," I agreed with her.

Everyone started to laugh. Even Gale was laughing loudly and I smiled. He seemed to enjoy when I put Cato down. Of course he did. He didn't like Cato. Not really. "Yes. I have three - four other bridesmaids," I corrected myself, remembering Effie. "Annie Cresta, Mags, Wiress, and Effie. They're all previous Victors of the Games. Except for Effie. She's the District 12 Escort."

They all nodded at me. "That's sweet of you for putting them in the wedding," Carrie said.

"Do you know Annie Cresta?" Julie asked.

"No. But I do know Finnick Odair and Annie always seemed sweet," I admitted.

"She does seem rather sweet," Carrie said.

"Cato has Haymitch, Finnick, Brutus, and Cinna as groomsmen."

"No Enobaria?" Skye asked me.

"Um... No." Everyone laughed. "There was one other spot that I wanted to fill." Everyone looked at me. "Prim, I wanted to know if you wanted to be a flower girl."

Prim's face lit up at my words and she smiled brightly. She was just a little kid and she loved the idea of happily ever afters. But that wasn't what this was. That was never what this would be. We might get the dream wedding, but in only three days we were going to be fighting for our lives all over again. We wouldn't be married for more than a week.

"Of course!" Prim yelled, grabbing me around the waist and hugging me.

I smiled and bent over a little bit to get a tighter grip on the younger girl. "Thanks, sweetie," I said.

"Aspen, I'm so excited for you."

"Thank you, Prim."

"And even better, we get to see you again since we didn't get to say goodbye to you after the Reaping this year," Prim said, with a little pout on her face.

That had been the worst part of the entire thing. I couldn't believe that I had been ripped away from them. But now I got to say my goodbye. I nodded, hating the fact that the Peacekeepers had dragged me away before I got a chance to say goodbye to my family. This seemed to be news to the Hadley family as they all turned to me with funny looks. I had forgotten that Cato had told me that he had been allowed to say goodbye to his family. It had only been me.

"You didn't get to say goodbye after your Reaping?" Carrie asked.

She had no idea that even though Snow didn't love Cato, he completely hated me. "No. President Snow wants to do anything in his power to make me angry or anything possible to try and break my spirits. It means nothing to me. There's nothing more that he can do to me," I said, with a shrug.

Carrie's eyes dulled for a moment before she regained her traditionally happy demeanor. "That's really sad," Carrie said. "I'm sorry that you didn't get to say your goodbyes."

"That's alright. I'm glad to have you here. All of you. I'm so glad that you could all be here. I just wish that it was under different circumstances," I said.

"We don't. We're happy to be here for the wedding," Alana said.

But they all knew that I didn't mean the wedding. That was a happy time. I was glad that they were all here and going to watch me join both families. The horrible part was that I wouldn't be here long before having to return to the Games and fight for Cato's life. Not that I was going to tell any of them that. But they weren't stupid. They probably all knew that we were both going to fight for the other one to live.

"Honey, it doesn't matter. We just are happy that you and Cato get to be a real couple, if only for a few days," Ms. Everdeen said.

"Thanks, Mom," I whispered.

She had the right idea. She knew that we weren't both going to make it out of these Games. "We know that this isn't going to end the same way as last year," Ms. Everdeen continued.

That time everyone, including Damien and Aidan, gave me a sad smile. But I nodded with as much of a smile as I could muster. There was a scoff from one of the Hadley family members and I rolled my eyes. They had to know that, too. They had made the mistake of letting us both out of this last year and it had gone through disastrous results. They weren't going to be foolish enough to let it happen again.

"No, it won't," I agreed with her. "In some way I'm actually grateful that President Snow set this up."

Katniss guffawed. She hated anything to do with the President. "Don't be a moron," Katniss said.

"Shut up! I mean everything that Cato and I have done has been because of Snow. The proposal was because we were trying to make up for the Victory Tour. The wedding was Snow's idea, probably to make the other Victors want us dead even more. But that doesn't matter. I want to be up there and say my vows. I want him to know how I really feel," I said, mostly to Cato's family.

In the back of my mind I was pretty sure that they all knew that I loved them but I wanted them to know for a fact that I really did love Cato. It wasn't all an act. Maybe some of the things that we said and did were, but when we were in a room alone, we were just two kids that loved each other. We were a normal couple that was looking forward to a wedding. Of course it was a wedding that was going to be broadcast to four million people.

"And we will be glad to welcome you into the family, Aspen. No matter how long that is for," Alana said.

"Thank you, Alana," I said.

It was then that a sudden thought came over me. I had no idea how long they were actually going to be here. I hoped that it was for more than just the ceremony, even if they could be here through the entire Games, but if that was the only time that they were going to be here for, I wasn't going to complain. The only thing that mattered was that they were here for now. I would have to thank Plutarch again tonight. I knew that he was going to be there.

"Speaking of how long something is for, how long are you all staying?" I asked, curious if anyone knew.

To my surprise it was Gale that answered me. "Well thanks to Snow's... generosity," Gale sneered, clearly having a hard time being nice, "we're actually here until after the Interviews."

My jaw dropped. "Nice save," I whispered.

They were here for an entire day? They were even spending the night here! I wondered where they were all going to be staying. "Thanks," Gale teased.

"You're here for the night? Really?" I asked brightly.

"They're sending us home that night. Right after you get out of your interview we will be able to say goodbye and then we're on a train home," Gale explained.

"Okay."

"Back in time so that we can see the Bloodbath of the Games," Gale scoffed.

"Well... you'll all be watching."

It was eerie thinking that they would be leaving that night and the next morning I could very well be dead. I didn't think that the Gamemakers were going to be wasting any time this year. Gale wrapped his arms around me and I smiled, sinking into them. The feeling was so familiar and it made me smile. I had no idea how grateful I would be that he was here. I was glad that we had gotten past Cato. I hoped that tonight I would be able to push Katniss and Gale together. The last thing that I wanted was for the two of them to be together.

"How much time do we have left?" I asked.

Gale released me but there were no clocks around us. Katniss glanced down at her wrist and I smiled at her, glad that at least someone had been prepared. I knew that they were going to take her watch when they got her ready. I wished that I could be there to watch Katniss and Gale panic when they were getting ready for the wedding. The poor people that had to take care of them were in for a shock.

"Ten minutes until Cinna is coming back to get you," Katniss said.

"Okay."

At least I was going to be with Cinna until I had to walk out in front of the nation and probably fall over in my wedding dress. I knew that it was going to happen. "Apparently your Prep Team is going to get us all ready for the Games," Katniss said.

She shrugged and I couldn't help but to laugh loudly, nearly collapsing onto the ground. I would give all of my money away to be able to see Katniss and Gale trying to get ready with Flavius, Octavia, and Venia. "All of you?" I asked.

"They're taking care of us and Cato's team are taking care of the rest," Gale said.

"What?" Katniss asked.

"Oh... Nothing," I said, wanting to leave that a surprise.

"I wanted to ask you if you gave them another show like you did last year in the individual training?" Katniss asked.

For the first time in a few minutes, Aidan had looked up from twiddling his thumbs and was now staring at me. He was such a little kid. He seemed so bored while all of the adults were talking. But even Prim had been listening intently. Of course, I imagined that when Cato was here, Aidan had been at complete attention.

"What did you do last year in training?" Aidan asked.

Blushing softly, I shook my head and stumbled over my words a few times. I had never told them what I had done in training. If anything I would have thought that Cato would have told them what I had done to earn myself that twelve. The only people that I had told were my family, Haymitch, Effie, Cinna, Gale, and Cato.

"Oh... I, uh - I - I shot a knife through the apple in the pig's mouth at the Gamemakers banquet," I said softly. Aidan laughed and clapped me in the back. The rest of his family laughed too. They had no idea that the best part had happened after I had hit the apple. "I threw a knife and blew out one of the lights and I tossed another one at Seneca Crane's head. I nearly took his head off. Then I shot an arrow in between one Gamemakers' fingers," I explained, like I had been telling them about the weather.

Every person in the Hadley family stood completely still and all were staring at me like I had grown a second head. Of course, I didn't blame them. I had told them that I had nearly killed the Head Gamemaker just before I put my life in his hands. Literally.

"And they gave you a twelve for that?" Dean asked, clearly not believing me.

Shrugging my shoulders at him, I leaned back against Gale, who was standing behind me, acting like a board. "I never said that they were smart," I said. Dean laughed, nodding at me. Carrie smiled too but I noticed that Damien didn't look very impressed. "Katniss this year I didn't do anything. I told them a story."

"You told them a story?" Damien asked.

"My story. I told them that I was the Mockingjay. I wasn't denying it anymore. That's who I am. And I told them that they should be scared of me. Before I left I broke their bow," I said.

Katniss nodded, a look in between horror and admiration on her face at what I had done. "I don't know whether I should slap you or laugh," Katniss said.

"Having known you for many years, let me be the first to ask what else you did," Gale said.

"What are you talking about?"

"What else did you do?" Gale asked.

"Well... I might have taken a dummy and used red paint to paint every Gamemaker name that I knew on it. And hang it from a noose. And shoot an arrow through the forehead to show the Gamemakers. And paint Snow's name in the middle," I mumbled.

That time everyone stared at me. No one laughed, just as I had been expecting. It wasn't really funny, what I had done. It was brave and stupid. Only one person was smiling at me. Alana. She nodded and grabbed her husband's hand, who looked infuriated. I didn't know how she did it with Damien. He very rarely showed emotion. That would have creeped me out. At least Cato, even though he didn't have a wide emotional range, always had some emotion dancing in his eyes.

"Good for you. Who cares what score you get?" Alana asked.

"That's how I felt. I just thought that... I needed them to know that I wasn't going down without a fight," I said.

"You're very brave," Alana said.

"Stupid, more like it," I teased.

"The score won't mean anything. Everyone knows how well you did in the last Games. You don't need to prove yourself to anyone. Especially these people," Alana said, with a little sneer.

Cato had once told me that Alana didn't like the Games, but hearing her say that I now realized how much she really didn't like them. I heard the soft click of heels in the corridor and I turned back to see that Cinna was now walking out, the heel of his black dress shoes clicking softly on the floor. I smiled at him as he walked over, giving a short bow to my friends and family. Prim smiled and walked up to Cinna, giving him a small hug, which he returned. Katniss followed, looking very fond of Cinna.

"Hello, everyone. Sorry to interrupt but I need you all to move along. Aspen has a long prep ahead of her. And I am honored to be the one doing that," Cinna said.

I smiled, coming to stand next to Cinna. Gale looked completely confused at the sight of Cinna. I could tell that he wanted to ask whether he was from the Districts or the Capitol. "You'll make me look lovely, I'm trusting," I teased.

"Of course. I'll be walking you into the hall," Cinna explained.

"Good," I said. I was glad that I didn't have to make the walk alone.

"But now I must separate everyone. The bride is mine," Cinna said, grabbing my hand. A loud jabbering of voices and heels came from behind and I grinned brightly. I knew what was coming now. "Everyone, this is Flavius, Venia, and Octavia. They have been Aspen's Prep Team over the past year. Today they are for you. Ladies, please follow Venia. Children will be with Octavia. Gentlemen, you have Flavius. Cato's team will be in soon to help."

Without meaning to, I laughed loudly again. Flavius was currently examining Gale with an interest that seemed to be a little too close for Gale. Katniss seemed to find it as funny as I did. Damien was looking at the orange haired man in distrust and Dean seemed to be trying to get along with him as best as he could. Prim was speaking animatedly with Octavia, whom she had already met. Aidan looked like he might run the other way when she ran a purple nail through his hair. If I had thought that he didn't really like me, I was certainly wrong. He really didn't like her.

Leah and Marley were both staring at her, looking a little confused. They were too young to truly understand what was going on. Leah might have understood that Cato was getting married but I couldn't really be sure. Venia was currently speaking with both Alana and Ms. Everdeen and the women seemed to be getting along well enough. Carrie and Katniss were standing back a little bit, speaking to each other and looking like they would do anything to not have to wear the yellow lipstick and Venia had on.

Katniss and Gale had both inched their way over to me and I smiled at the horrified looks that they were wearing. They had met them before but they hadn't really gotten a chance to sit around and chat with each other. At the time I had been getting all made up. They clearly wanted to have Cinna take care of them. Not that I blamed them. But he was the Head Stylist and that meant that he belonged to me.

"They're nice, I promise," I said, hoping that they wouldn't talk about how dirty they were like they had done with me when I had first arrived here.

I blanched for a moment, thinking about the waxing, but I decided to not mention that fact to Katniss. "Are you kidding?" Katniss hissed.

"Just be nice to them. I kind of like them," I said.

"They look ridiculous," Katniss snapped.

"Just smile and nod. I'll see you all soon. Thank you so much for being here. And for supporting Cato and me through all of this. I know that they'll make you all look wonderful," I said, smiling at my friends.

Flipping my hair over my shoulder, I turned back and smiled at Cinna. He was clearly debating on what he wanted to do with it. I had a feeling that he hadn't prepared for tonight. Sometimes he just did better going for it and dressing me up as he thought about it. Particularly when it came to my makeup and hair. Clothes were different. Cinna was just going to do what he got the feeling to do as he went with it. I didn't mind that. I hadn't even thought about the way that I would look tonight.

"Come on now. Let's get you ready," Cinna said.

"Okay."

So I turned back and gave both Katniss and Gale hugs before walking with Cinna back down the hallway and into his preparation room, seating myself in the chair that had become somewhat like a home to me, considering how much time I spent in it. Far more than I had ever wanted to. Cinna immediately turned me away from the mirror and I felt him begin to tug at my hair, brushing the knots out from my run down the hallway early.

As he heated up the curling iron I leaned back in the chair and felt him begin to separate the parts of my hair. It seemed like he was going to curl it tonight. He usually only left my hair straight when he was trying to make me go for a tougher look. And apparently I was supposed to look like an angel on my wedding night. Not that anything I had done was very angelic. I was more of a monster than anything else. But not tonight. Not right now.

"That was actually shockingly nice of Plutarch Heavensbee," I said.

"Yes. It was," Cinna said.

"I thought that he was somewhat fond of me but I had no idea that he was going to get them all here. And for more than just the ceremony. Maybe he isn't too bad," I said, wanting to slap myself the moment that I said it.

He was the Head Gamemaker. They were never anything good. For a moment I thought that Cinna might not say anything to me, but finally he did. "He isn't. I like Plutarch," Cinna said.

"Do you?" I asked, raising an eyebrow.

That actually surprised me. I had always thought that Cinna had hated everything to do with the Capitol. "I think you would too if you had more time to appreciate him," Cinna said.

The way that his voice wavered for a moment told me that there was something that Cinna wasn't telling me. "Maybe," I muttered.

For a few minutes we sat in silence and Cinna tugged at my hair. "Aspen?" Cinna called.

"Hmm?" I asked.

"There's something that I'd like to say to you before we really get into this and I won't have time," Cinna said.

He stopped playing with my hair and he stepped over to lean down in front of me. "Okay," I whispered.

He grabbed my hands and I felt my heart skip a beat. He was really being serious. "I love you, Aspen. I've never had a daughter, but if I did, it would be you. You are everything that I would ever want in a daughter. You are my family and I hope that I've earned a spot in yours. No matter what happens to either of us, you are everything that I was hoping for. You are more than my Mockingjay. You are my friend. And I've never been more proud to say that," Cinna said.

I had barely noticed it but I felt a few tears leaking out of my cheeks and falling down my face. I sighed and grabbed Cinna, bringing him into a hug. He was so much more than my friend. He was everything to me. He was the person that had been with me through everything. He had been there more than Haymitch and Cato both. Even though I loved them more than anything, Cinna had been the one that was always there to support me. Tears were running down my face as Cinna smiled at me and wiped the tears from my face. He had never been more like a father to me than in this moment.

"You aren't my friend. You are so much more. You are the father that I never had. I wish that I'd had more time with you. But I'll always cherish every moment that I've ever spent with you. For the rest of my life. Even if that's only a few more days. Thank you. I love you, Cinna," I told him.

It was the last thing that I said before bringing him back to me and crying softly into his shoulder. I wished that I never had to leave this position. I wanted to be here forever. For a while he let me lay there, leaning onto his shoulder and gripping his hands tightly. If there was one person that I really wanted to make proud before I died, it was Cinna. He finally grabbed my chin in his hand and tilted it up so that I could look at him again.

"Don't you dare cry," Cinna said.

"I'm trying," I said, letting him wipe the tears from my eyes.

"The bride shouldn't be crying. Not when she's as beautiful as you are," Cinna said.

"Stop," I said, laughing and sniffling.

He smiled back at me before standing up and going back to work with my hair. "Now relax and let me do the work," Cinna told me.

"Okay," I said, letting him get to work.

Leaning back in the chair I closed my eyes and sighed. Cinna was being much more careful than he normally was when he did my hair and makeup. If he messed up a strand of hair he would straighten it out before running the curling iron back through it. Each strand was curled at least once and sometimes more than once. I could tell that he had made few braids in my hair as well. After a few hours of him doing my hair I could tell that he had sprayed something and had also put a few clips in my hair, presumably to hold up certain sections.

He had gone to work on my makeup not long after, touching up a few strands of hair every few minutes. He would mutter to himself from time to time as well and I smiled. I had never seen Cinna this meticulous before. Maybe it was just because of the wedding. Maybe it was because he knew that this was an important moment. I was pretty sure that Cinna had just started on layering some makeup on my face to even out the complexion before he stopped. I heard the brush click back into the pack.

Earlier I had told Cinna that I didn't want to hear them say anything other than the scores. That was the only thing that I wanted to hear. Not really even my score. Mostly Cato's. So Cinna had been waiting until the very last minute to turn the television on. I didn't want to hear any programs about the preparations for my wedding. All they were going to talk about was everything that was going to happen at the wedding. The only thing that I wanted was to get my score and be done with it. I wondered if people would laugh at the girl that had gone from a twelve to a one in a single year. Probably.

Just not while I was walking down the aisle. I hoped, at least. They could laugh at my score but I wanted them to laugh during the Interviews. After the wedding. Just for today I wanted them to leave me alone and have a good day. Just this one. Cinna walked to turn on the television and I laughed as he made sure that when he swung my chair around I was not facing the mirror. As per usual, he wanted his final design to be a masterpiece.

The screen popped on and Cinna took a seat on the edge of my chair. He was stopping long enough to hear the scores. The Capitol symbol faded out quickly and was replaced with the grinning face of Caesar Flickerman. This year he was alone. But he looked as chipper as ever and seemed thrilled to have the stage all to himself. I noticed that he was in black with a few trims of white today and I wondered whether or not it was for the wedding tonight. If so, he was already immaculately dressed.

"Welcome, welcome to the Seventy-Fifth Annual Hunger Games! And the third Quarter Quell!" Caesar announced. I rolled my eyes. "We, unfortunately, are short on time as the wedding ceremony of Aspen Antaeus and Cato Hadley will begin in just three short hours! And yours truly will be officiating. Now, let's begin with the scores!"

My face fell as I realized what he had just said. He was going to be the one officiating the wedding? Not that I didn't like Caesar, but for some reason I had thought that President Snow would be the one to do the job. It was somewhat of a relief to find out that he wasn't. I didn't want him close to me. I could tolerate being reasonably close to Caesar. At least he was nice and didn't really want me dead.

"He will?" I asked Cinna, making sure that I had heard right.

"Yes. He's going to be officiating," Cinna said.

Yawning softly, I saw that the District 1 seal filled the screen with the smug faces of both Gloss and Cashmere standing pressed up against each other. Had they not been nearly identical I would have thought that they were a couple. I shuddered at the thought of that. For a brief moment I wondered how upset they were that even if one of them made it that would mean that the other one of their siblings would die. They were best friends. A brief pang in my stomach shot through me but I shook it off. I couldn't be thinking about that.

"From District 1, Gloss with a score of ten!" I was almost surprised that he hadn't gotten an 11. "From District 1, Cashmere with a score of ten!"

They would both be people that I would have to stay away from. The siblings faded out of view and I nodded. At least they were going to be a Career pack. I still wasn't sure whether or not Enobaria was going to be with the Careers. I would probably have to wait until the day of the Games to find that out. Unless she told Cato. Just as I thought that both Cato and Enobaria came on the screen. Enobaria was smiling with her fangs bared and Cato was glaring into the camera, blood dripping down his forehead. I knew that it was from the Death Match last year.

"From District 2, Cato Hadley with a score of... twelve! Only the second Tribute to ever score a twelve, right behind his fiancé!" Caesar yelled. My heart nearly burst. He had scored a twelve? They had done it to hurt him. "From District 2, Enobaria with a score of ten!"

The crowd that were in the back of the room were still cheering and I rolled my eyes. If my hunches were right, Cato probably could have taken a nap and they would have given him a twelve. They were going to do everything in their power to make sure that Cato and I were the prime targets. From getting wonderful scores in training to a wedding larger than any that Panem had ever had before. Beetee and Wiress popped onto the screen and I assumed that both Tributes pictures were from their first Games. They looked so young.

"From District 3, Beetee Latier with a score of nine!" Caesar yelled. I smiled. That was a surprisingly good score. "From District 3, Wiress with a score of six!"

He sounded very surprised. Not that I blamed him for it. I was pretty surprised too. I knew that they were both more than capable to do great things but the Capitol normally only liked people that could do real fighting and throwing each other around. And neither Beetee nor Wiress were very physical people. Up next both Mags and Finnick popped onto the screen. Finnick had a picture from this year, and he was shirtless in it. I rolled my eyes. It was from the Tribute Parade. Mags was a picture from this year's Reaping and she was smiling happily.

"From District 4, Finnick with a score of eleven!" Caesar yelled. I grinned. That was to be expected. "From District 4, Mags with a score of five!"

His voice dropped off, quieter than he had been before. It was probably for her fishhooks. A bubble of fury shot through me and I snarled at the television. Mags, like every other Tribute out here, was better than a five. They just didn't like that she was slow and was good with a fishhook. They thought that she should be able to do more things than that. I rolled my eyes and yawned again, continuing to watch the scores.

The male from District 5 earned himself a six. His partner scored herself an eight. The Morphlings had scored a two and three, respectively. Once more, it was a score that was far too low for people that were more deserving of a higher score. Finally District 7 popped on and I noticed that both Johanna and Blight had the same pompous smiles about them. I rolled my eyes. Johanna wore it better, but that was because she was younger.

"From District 7, Blight with a score of eight! From District 7, Johanna with a score of nine!" Caesar continued.

Neither one were surprising. I was actually surprised that Johanna hadn't gotten higher. Of course, the Capitol didn't really like Johanna that much. They probably didn't want her to get too high of a score to take away Sponsors from Gloss, Cashmere, and Enobaria. District 8 came into view and I noticed that Woof was extremely old and looked very tired in the picture that they had gotten of him. It was not complimentary at all. Cecilia looked better as she was swinging her sword back and forth and I noticed that she had a nasty snarl on her face.

"From District 8, Woof with a score of two!" Caesar called. I scoffed. Of course. "From District 8, Cecilia with a score of eight!"

That one seemed fair. It was clear that the Capitol only was rooting for a few people to win but I couldn't tell whether or not they wanted Finnick to win or not. Probably not, considering he had once mortified them by beating Careers years older than himself. Although they would probably like him to win far before they would ever want me to win. I was the last person that they wanted to see win. The male from District 9 got an eight and his female counterpart got a five.

As District 10 came on I gulped at the sight of their scores. They had been extremely high. I would have to be careful with them. The male earned himself a ten, very unsurprising, and the woman earned herself an eight. She was a little on the younger side and was still reasonably good with weapons. District 11 came into view and I gulped. It was pictures of both Chaff and Seeder from their Games. They both looked so much like Rue and Thresh.

"From District 11, Chaff with a score of eight! From District 11, Seeder with a score of eight!" Caesar announced.

Those both seemed fair. Their faces faded out and I watched as the District 12 symbol came into view. Both Cinna and I sat up a little straighter. In the picture I noticed that Haymitch had once been a very handsome young man and I smiled. His girlfriend must have thought the same thing. My picture was from last year's Games and it was a picture of me fighting off the wolf mutt. I had the sword jammed through its stomach but I could see the scratches all over me and the pain on my face. I knew that they were trying to send a message to me. I was tough, but not tough enough.

"From District 12, Haymitch Abernathy with a score of twelve! Wow, a third Tribute to obtain a perfect score!" Caesar yelled. My jaw dropped. What the hell had Haymitch done? They hated him. "From District 12, Aspen Antaeus once more with a perfect score of twelve!"

Of course. Very unsurprising. I had thought that I would be shocked to hear that I had gotten another twelve but for some reason I wasn't. So I merely nodded and turned to Cinna. For some reason I didn't really care that I had gotten a twelve. I had almost seen it coming. I knew that they had given me the score just to make me look even worse. I was getting the best wedding that anyone could have thought of and now I was the only Tribute to have gotten two perfect scores. Lucky me. Cinna shut the television off as Caesar went to talking about the scores and turned me back to the makeup chair.

"Congratulations on that twelve again. You deserved it," Cinna said.

He started running a hand through the bottom of my hair that wasn't pinned up and began to cross sections over before splitting them up again. He brought the curling iron back to my hair and I smiled at him, leaning back into the chair and closing my eyes. This was the last time that he would ever do something like this.

"I'm pretty sure that I didn't, but whatever. They could have given me a one and I don't think that I would care anymore," I said.

"I can't say I blame you," Cinna said.

He clearly realized that I was done with the spotlight. If nothing else, at least death would put an end to all of my stress. "I think I just want this wedding over. I love Cato and I want to marry him, but I can't stand that I have to do it in front of all of Panem," I said.

Even though I couldn't see Cinna, I was sure that he was smiling at me. "Well if you get nervous, just look at him. I think he might have more of a calming effect on you than you think," Cinna said.

"I hope you're right about that."

If I could just focus on Cato and our families this thing would go by fast. Hopefully President Snow hadn't planned to have the stupid ceremony last for hours. "Now lean back. I want to make sure that you look absolutely perfect tonight. You deserve it," Cinna said.

"I'm not so sure about that, but okay," I said.

"You do," Cinna said.

"Thanks, Cinna."

"You're welcome, darling."

So I did as told and felt him running through his makeup routine. The closer that we got to the wedding the more that I began to shake. I was getting very nervous. There was hardly any time left before I walked out there and got married. In front of all of Panem. Just mere days before I was going to die. It made me shiver at the thought that there was nothing left for me to do. I was going to walk out there and get married. For the next few hours, nothing was in my control. This was all coming from the Capitol.

For a few hours I felt Cinna go back and forth over my face and I honestly had no idea what he was doing. I could tell that I was wearing a lot of makeup but I couldn't tell whether or not it was going to be heavy or a little lighter. My head began to spin with thoughts about what Katniss would look like, what Gale or Cato would look like, how I was going to walk in, and if people there were actually happy for me. I even wondered if people back in District 12 were watching me. Technically they had to.

What felt like hardly ten minute later I heard a soft music begin to pipe in through the walls. It was coming from the area that held the Tribute Parade. It was the aisle that I would have to walk down. It was too long. Maybe I would just focus on the music. It was pretty and soft, just the type that someone would expect to be playing at a wedding. I glanced up at the clock. It was still an hour to go before the wedding was to start. That was good, considering that I wasn't in the dress yet. I was pretty sure that Cinna had just left to go check on it. He was walking back in the room but he still wasn't holding a clothing bag.

"That means that all of the guests are getting seated," Cinna informed me.

"Okay," I said.

"Are you ready?" he asked.

I was still facing away from the mirror but I had no doubt in my mind that I looked like the perfect bride. The problem with this whole thing was that I didn't think that I was the perfect bride. I was afraid that I was going to do something wrong. Either fall over or say something stupid or just generally look like a moron. My stomach was churning nervously as I realized just how close I was to being a married woman. Only an hour left of being single.

"No," I said. Cinna smiled, giving me a little laugh. "But I never will be. I want to get out there. I'm ready for this to get started."

"You'll do wonderfully."

"Hey, Cinna. You're going to be there the whole time. Right?" I asked.

"The entire time," Cinna promised.

"Good."

That was all that I needed. I just needed him to be with me the entire time. I didn't want to be alone up there. I wanted other people there, more than just Cato. I wanted everyone I loved up there with me. Cinna nodded, placing the makeup back into the bags. He walked back out of the room and grabbed a huge white bag. I gulped the moment that I saw it. It was the bag that held my wedding dress. There was no turning back now.

 **A/N:** Here's another fully edited chapter. **Let me know what you think!** Until next time -A

 **The Oracle of Akemi: Thank you so much! Yes, before I write the events of Mockingjay I want to make sure that Aspen has a good relationship with those that she will know after her departure from the Capitol. I don't want her to just interact with Haymitch and Cato. I hope this chapter pleased!**

 **Divergentprincess: I'm so glad that you loved both stories! I hope this update was soon enough :)**


	13. Chapter 13

Cinna gave me a soft order to close my eyes and I did as told, letting one of my legs pop up so that I could step into the dress. Even as it had barely come up over my shins I could tell that it was huge. By far the largest design that I had ever worn. Which was not good, considering that I wasn't the strongest person in the world. It was very heavy. As Cinna began to do up the buttons on the back of the dress my spine bent slightly. I wasn't even sure that I would be able to make it down the aisle considering how heavy the damn thing was. There was a chance that it might have been heavier than me.

Immediately I knew that it wasn't Cinna that had designed the dress. Of course, I already had known that. I'd known that the designs weren't really Cinna. He had made them but they were simply the designs that everyone else wanted me in. I couldn't even figure which dress this one was. It was heavier than I remembered any of the dresses being. The heaviest thing that Cinna had ever made me wear before was the dress that I had worn to the Interviews my first year in the Games.

The dress had been covered in small glass pieces with the swirling red pattern on each piece. It had been heavy - as it was half made of glass - but at least the dress was airy. This dress was nothing of the sorts. It was heavy and hard to move in. Cinna always made designs that were easy to move in. The dress was hot too. It was still relatively cold in the Districts but here in the Capitol is was boiling. Like it always was. It was close to sea level, not up in the mountains like District 12 was. Maybe they were used to wearing things like this when it would cause the average person to pass out from heat exhaustion.

As Cinna went over final design details, as apparently there were lots of things that could be wrong with the dress today, I wrung my hands together nervously. I was very nervous for what was about to happen to me. I had never known what to do on the day that I got married. I had never thought that this day was coming. Not until we'd gone on the Victory Tour. At that point I had known that this was going to happen. Because it had to happen.

Despite the fact that I had already known that I would be getting married today, although I'd only known the actual date for two days, it felt like the day would never come. And some part of me had never wanted the day to come. I loved Cato; being married to him wasn't the issue. The issue was standing up in front of thousands of people, millions that would be watching from televisions screens, and saying our vows. It also put a huge target on our backs for the Games. Not that there weren't already. There was no way that people like Gloss and Cashmere were going to be okay with us stealing their spotlight.

Not that I wanted it. If it were up to me I would be more than happy to let someone else have the wedding. I would be perfectly content with a little backyard wedding that were so popular in District 12. Back in District 12 I would have just rented a little white sundress that hundreds of girls had worn before me. I would have gone down to the Justice Building to get the document signed and then I would have gone back to my house to have a little celebration with friends and family.

At this point I would even prefer a wedding in District 2. Not that I knew what they were like. I wished that I could give this one to Finnick and Annie. They deserved it. Not me. But I knew that the Capitol would never really let Finnick be with Annie. He was the darling of the Capitol. He was their toy. There was no way that they would ever let him settle down in peace. He would be a bachelor forever in their eyes. I supposed that it was the one way that I was luckier than him.

Although I supposed that it also didn't matter who got to get married and who was deemed to be single forever. Not when, in three days' time, we would all be making our way into the arena for the second time. It felt a little silly to be getting ready for a wedding when I thought about it. The arena was already prepared for us. Final arrangements were probably being made at this moment. The thought made me sick to my stomach. I wondered if there was anyone else that felt the same way as me. I was sure that almost everyone felt the same way.

There were very few people that were going to be in the Games this year that I thought actually wanted to be there. Cashmere and Gloss probably. But I had a feeling that even they didn't really want to have to be here. I couldn't remember whether or not they were volunteers. I didn't think that they were. The only volunteers this year were Cato and Mags. Both to save someone else. As far as Gloss and Cashmere, they were going to be furious with me.

After all, they were brother and sister. They were back here, forced to fight to the death, because of me. They wouldn't want to kill each other. But they had no choice. No one in the Capitol would let them back out of the Games. They knew that. There was a chance that Enobaria wanted to be back in the arena as well and that was one of the reasons that I was making it a point to avoid her during the Games. I knew that Cato liked and trusted her. I just wasn't sure that I could as well.

Finally I felt Cinna's hands stop moving over the dress and he took a few steps back. "Open your eyes," Cinna said.

Did I even want to see what I looked like? I had a feeling that I didn't really have much of a choice. I would have to see myself eventually. There was no way that I would be able to avoid seeing myself in my wedding dress all night. So I did as instructed, very slowly, and glanced up at the clock first. Cinna was watching me with a smile. He knew that I was trying to avoid the truth. Just as I was expecting, we were close to the beginning of the ceremony. There were only about fifteen minutes left. Just time enough to make last minute alterations if I had any in mind. Not that I would.

Taking in a deep breath I steeled myself for what I might see and turned towards the mirror to see what kind of a bride I was. Bride. I didn't like it. The word didn't sit right in my mouth. It seemed that the Capitol certainly thought that I was one worth putting all of their resources into. I couldn't imagine how much my entire ensemble had cost them. A lot. More than District 12. The makeup that I had on was something akin to the way that it had been done during my Crowning Ceremony Interview.

This time my makeup was lighter with more of an innocent touch to it. Not quite in the Girl on Fire style I was used to. But it was no less pretty. There was a dark rim on eyeliner around my eyes but it wasn't as thick as I was used to. It extended into a little wing past my eyelid. It looked a little bit like a bird wing. It was enough to make me smile. The eye shadow that I was wearing was a pale tanned color and the closer it got to the eyelashes the closer to a charcoal gray it got. There was also a silver sparkle coat over the top of it, making my eyes seem brighter than normal. They seemed almost like a bluish-amber now.

There was also a good amount of mascara on my eyelashes. They looked much longer than normal. There was a light blush on my cheeks along with a light pink shade smeared over my lips. It all made me look older and more mature. My nails were mostly white with some small crystals on them. My body was dusted in a light powder making me look like some type of angel. My hair was left mostly alone. I had been expecting it to be done in some crazy style for the wedding. Normally there were a number of braids that were done in it.

My hair had been curled into large curls and left to fall over my shoulders. I was glad that it was down. I didn't want to have to have no hair to hide behind. Two pieces of my hair from the front were pulled back in a small ponytail at the crown of my head. My hair also held a small tiara. I immediately recognized it as the one that President Snow had gifted me when I won the Hunger Games last year. It made me sick to look at. A long veil was attached to it.

My eyes finally dropped down to my dress and I had to suppress a snort at the sight of it. Definitely not a design by Cinna. It was the bare bones of one of the dresses that I had worn during the photo shoot. But more had been added to it from the last time that I had worn it. I stared at the dress in utter horror. I wasn't even sure what to make of it. I supposed that it could have been worse but I certainly didn't like looking at it like this.

The bottom of the dress was huge. Tulle was going in every direction. It was gently ruffled and pulled away from my body. The layers went up to just below my waist. There it was pulled into my body, the tulle still prevalent but now clinging to me like a second skin. The dress was a sweetheart neckline and about as immodest as a wedding dress could get away with. There was also a strange silver metallic piece that hung both in front of and behind the dress on the torso. It went from the side of my waist to expand over my shoulder and up into the air. I supposed that they were supposed to be wings. It just looked stupid to me.

There were some strange sleeves on it too. The sleeves were attached at the underarms. They weren't on my shoulders but they started about midway down my bicep and went all the way from the end of my hands to the floor. How the hell was I supposed to hold Cato's hand in this? There were also pearls stitched everywhere. Into the dress and onto the chords that were hanging around my throat. Planted on all of the jewelry.

The shoes were tall heels that were silver and laden with what I assumed were small diamonds. Or maybe they were more pearls. They probably cost more than my home in Victor's Village. I looked every part of the Capitol bride that I was supposed to be. It was nothing like brides in District 12 looked like. What I would have wanted to look like. They usually wore white dresses that were loose and hung limply from their frames, flowing in the breeze of the woods. That was if they could afford a new dress and not one of the ones that everyone normally wore.

Their hair would be curled and let down around their shoulders. Or sometimes they would just wet their hair and let it dry naturally to have some curl in it. Most would be barefoot and faces would be makeup free. The Capitol would be horrified at the thought. It was something that I wished I could have gotten. Shifting so that I could look at myself I realized that I didn't actually look terrible. It was just overly-exuberant. I figured that Cinna had tried as hard as he possibly could to make the dress look like something that I would have wanted to wear.

"So I take it that this dress was not a Cinna original?" I teased.

Cinna gave a small smile. "You are indeed correct. This was a special request from President Snow. It is the bones of a dress from the photo shoot," Cinna said.

"I thought it looked a little familiar," I said.

"This dress won the competition. But President Snow wanted to make some alterations. He designed the entire thing. He wanted to make sure that you looked like a Capitol bride. He wanted nothing but the best for the Girl on Fire," Cinna said.

The corners of his mouth were turned up slightly and I smirked. "That's sweet of him," I muttered under my breath.

A second later I allowed Cinna to push a few stray hairs back into place. "You still look lovely," Cinna said.

"I look like an idiot," I said.

"A very cute idiot," Cinna teased.

"You're useless."

Cinna laughed under his breath. "Not to fear. Only one night you'll have to wear it," Cinna said.

"You must really enjoy watching me have to prance around in front of millions of people in front of this thing," I told Cinna, who was still smiling slightly.

Cinna ceased his walk around my body and came to stand back in front of me. "The dress means nothing to me. It shouldn't mean anything to you either. What means the most to me is you," Cinna whispered.

"Cinna..." I trailed off.

"I have no family left. My parents passed on years ago. They were old and had had good lives. It was their time. My life has been dedicated to making my perfect Girl on Fire. I was an only child. But if I'd ever had a family; a daughter, it would be you."

My cheeks lit up a slight red. "I know that if my mother and father were around still I would have loved them. I would have wanted my father to walk me down the aisle. But things didn't work out that way. And it's taken me a long time but I've gotten over it. I know that there's nothing that can be done. I'm just happy that he's with my mother. And if they couldn't be here tonight I'm glad that you could be," I said.

"I will always be here for you."

"You're like a father to me, Cinna. No one has treated me better here in the Capitol than you have. Very few people in general have treated me as well as you have," I told him honestly.

Cinna grabbed my hands and brought them so that they were inside of his own and pressed against his chest. He was dressed up tonight. I assumed that everyone had to look their very best for the wedding. Instead of his normal black button down shirt he was wearing a suit. He wore a black dress jacket that had two buttons done. Underneath was a white shirt and a shiny black tie. His pants were the same kind that he normally wore and so were his shoes but I could tell that he had shined them recently.

My feet felt like lead bricks as he led me off of the podium. My legs were shaking and my hands were slightly sweaty. Mrs. Everdeen had once told me that she wasn't in the slightest nervous when she had her wedding. She had said that she had the jitters but she was happy. I was happy, too. But I wished that this was only being done in front of a few people. My friends and family. I hated that I had to do this in front of millions of people. I hated that this was going to be the outstanding affair that they had made it into.

Once I was off of the podium and standing by the door Cinna stopped me again. I assumed that he still had something to say to me before we had to leave. The music was louder now and it meant that my time was coming to a close in the room. My time as a single woman was coming to an end. Not that I would be alive much longer. Not with these Games. Cinna turned me towards him and I smiled weakly.

"Smile, dear. It's your wedding night," Cinna goaded.

"I'm working on it. I'm nervous," I said.

"Don't be. No matter who is out there or what they do try to remember that you deserve to be happy tonight. Focus on Cato. Focus on your family, your friends. Focus on me."

"You're the only people that I intend on looking at."

"I'll be right there. We all will be. This is the one night that I think that you've earned the right to be absorbed in yourself," Cinna said.

"Thank you, Cinna," I told him weakly.

My legs were shaking even harder now and I was sure that at any moment I was going to fall to the floor. "Calm down," Cinna whispered.

"I'm trying not to panic. I love Cato. I'm not upset that this is happening. I guess I just keep thinking about everyone that's going to be out there," I said.

"Don't think about them. Think about your soon-to-be husband."

"It's been hard. I'm thinking about tomorrow is the Interviews. The Games are the day after. Tonight all of the Gamemakers and President Snow; everyone that has a hand in my life or death are going to be watching me. Even on my wedding I have to constantly be watching what I say and do," I said softly.

The music slowed to a softer melody. It was the song that played as the wedding party marched down the aisle. The next song would be the one that played as I walked down the aisle. I had no more than three minutes to control myself. It was about to be the start of the rest of my life with Cato together. Not that it would be very long.

"Don't. Be who you are. Don't worry about being the Girl on Fire. The Mockingjay. Any of it. Tonight is your night," Cinna said.

"My night where the world is still watching," I muttered.

"President Snow may be watching you but there is nothing more that he can do to you. Not after everything that he has done. Enjoy tonight. Pretend that he isn't there. The people already love you. Tonight will only amplify those feelings."

Nodding at Cinna, not trusting myself to speak, I stood at the door and nodded. He opened the door and allowed me to walk with him. There were some people in the hallways but most of them were speaking into headsets. I assumed that they were letting those who were waiting by the aisle know that I was on my way. As we got closer I noticed that Peacekeepers were in the area. They were all standing back. Presumably because they interrupted the elegance of the event.

Cinna grabbed my arm and linked it with his. My hands had stopped shaking and I had managed to steel myself. The doors to the aisle were closed and I could hear movement on the other side. I assumed that everyone was taking their final places before the doors would open and let me in, as I would be the last person to arrive. Cinna turned me towards him and began to fix me up slightly. He patted down a few pieces of fabric on the dress and tucked back a piece of hair.

"Save me a dance tonight, will you?" Cinna asked.

"Of course," I said.

My voice was so soft that it was barely audible. But this time there was a real smile gracing my face. It was the first smile that had been on my face for most of the day. I hoped that once I saw Cato I would have one of my face until the Ceremony was over. Despite what Cinna said I still had to act. To protect Cato. Just as Cinna gave me a kiss on the cheek and warned me to wait a moment I saw Finnick and Gale walking into the hall. Cinna gave me one last reassuring nod and I smiled, waving him off. I knew that he would have to take his place at the altar.

Finnick and Gale were dressed similarly to Cinna but each one had a different color to their suits. Finnick's was a dark blue and the dress shirt underneath was black. The dark look seemed strange against his deep tan and reddish-blonde hair. Gale's suit was black, like Cinna's, but the shirt underneath was red. I was sure that it was the only color I had ever seen him wear other than blue, black, gray, white, or brown. He looked good. They both did.

It was the cleanest that I had ever seen Gale. It was enough to make me smile. Their hair was slicked back and they each walked up to me with small smiles. It was the first time that I had seen Gale with a shaved face in a long time. Lately he'd always had some type of stubble. Gale walked up to me first and his eyes wandered over my dress. The smile on his face was replaced with a look that I knew meant that he was trying not to laugh.

"You look..." Gale trailed off.

"Ridiculous. I know," I snarled at Gale. "The dress was not my choice. It wasn't Cinna's either."

"Your to-be husband's?" Gale asked.

"Yeah, right. President Snow wanted me to wear this. Apparently it's the nicest wedding dress to have ever been made in the Capitol. I'm honored to be wearing it," I said with a bland voice.

The truth was that the dress was very expensive. I knew that it was the most expensive of any of the dresses that had been sent to District 12. And it was even more expensive with the alterations that Snow had done. Finnick laughed softly and shook his head, coming to stand at my right. Gale was on my left. Even though he would have to let me link my arms with his once the doors opened, Gale was holding my hand tightly. Finnick was pushing some hair around and ensuring that it was staying in its hold.

"How lucky you are! The dress is wonderful. It matches your sparkling personality," Finnick teased.

I shoved him and he laughed, coming to stand back by my side. "Shut up," I snapped.

I didn't mean it. I was still smiling at him. I was nervous and I wanted to snap at anyone that I could. Although I would try to not take my anger out on Cato. "I knew you couldn't avoid those little girl dresses forever," Finnick said.

"You're useless," I hissed.

"But I'm still standing here," Finnick said, nudging me.

"Come on, you two. I'm terrified. Help me out here," I muttered.

Finnick released my arm before grabbing my hand and turning me to face him. I looked over at him and smiled as Gale kept one hand protectively on my shoulder. "You aren't alone here, Aspen. Everyone up there is on your side," Finnick said.

I snorted. "Are you so sure about that?" I asked.

"The people that don't love you are going to be down in the audience."

"Including President Snow?"

"Try to ignore President Snow. He'll be in the audience. It isn't a big deal."

"That's a huge deal," I muttered.

"No, it's not. He won't say anything today. And, when all else fails, when you feel like you're going to die, look up and find Cato. I guarantee you that he's just as nervous as you are," Finnick advised.

"Is that so?"

"Neither one of you asked for this. But it's the hand that we've been dealt. Let's deal with it," Finnick said.

"Thank you, Finnick."

Nodding at him, and briefly bringing him in for a hug, I stepped back. For a moment I looked between the two men. I took another deep breath and turned to face the doors. Finnick handed me a bundle of flowers and I thanked him, taking the pretty things. They looked a little bit like the ones that I had used to decorate Rue's body. _You'd be so proud, Rue_. The music had hit its crescendo and was now slinking down into the traditional bridal march. My hands were shaking as Gale leaned over to kiss the top of my head.

"You can do this, Tiger. We're there for you. Katniss and me, we'll be right up there," Gale promised.

It was in that very moment that I realized how grateful I was to have Gale besides me. How grateful I was to have him in my life. And how much I would rather die than let anything happen to him. I wasn't sure what it was but for a moment I was brought back to my time as a frightened child with Gale. When he had been the one to protect me. I supposed that it was because this time I knew my life was about to end. My days really were numbered.

"Promise you won't leave me," I told Gale under my breath.

His hand moved its way to my waist and he gave a brief squeeze before returning his hand to my side so that I could grab onto it. "Never," he muttered.

We exchanged a brief smile as the doors were slowly opened. My heart was pounding in my chest as I glanced out into the opening. The florescent light from overhead blinded me for a moment and I turned back in distaste. But my face was being broadcast on screens lining the walkway so I turned back and smiled, trying desperately to play the part of a happy bride. The aisle that was normally used for the Tribute Parade seemed ten times longer now that I had to walk down it.

"Ladies and gentlemen, please rise for Aspen Antaeus," I heard Caesar Flickerman say.

It was the last time anyone would call me by that name. The entire audience rose to their feet and I blushed softly. They were all looking at me. Most of them wore smiles. About fifteen rows were set up near the stage at President Snow's mansion. That was where all of the high-profile guests, Victors, Tributes, and Gamemakers were sitting. Everyone else was up in the stands that the Capitol citizens and Sponsors would normally sit in for the Parade. There were likely a few Sponsors in the front rows that had helped me before in the Games.

The music played a soft opening note and I took a deep breath. That was my cue to start walking. I remembered it from the informational packages that Cato and I had gotten over the last two days. But something didn't quite register. _One foot in front of the other, Aspen. Move it!_ But I couldn't. I felt like I was frozen in my spot. Finnick's legs were hidden by my dress and I jumped when he kicked me softly, urging me to start walking. My feet felt like lead bricks as I started walking.

Gale's arm tensed around my hand and I knew that it was because he was nervous. He didn't like all of this. There were too many people here. I understood exactly how he felt. He would have hated being in the Hunger Games in the first place. He would have hated all of the reporters in the beginning, the Tribute Parade, the eyes during training, the party with all of the Sponsors and Gamemakers, and the Interviews. He would have hated it all. So did I.

It was how I still felt after two years. The walk was horrifically long but I somehow managed to keep a smile on my face, trying to look up and see Cato. Or anyone else. But I couldn't. They were hidden slightly behind the rows of people. And my eyesight wasn't that good that I could see them from all the way back here. As we finally came up on the first row my hands started shaking. Most of them were past Victors and Sponsors that President Snow deemed fit to keep with those who were the most important.

The Victors who I would be going into the Games with - the ones that weren't in the bridal party - were in the first two rows. They seemed to be the only ones that weren't smiling at me. Gloss and Cashmere looked furious. Enobaria was smirking at me. Johanna looked somewhere in between pissed and gleeful. She probably knew that I was nervous. Some of the others looked a little happier. And the other Victors - who weren't going into the Games - actually looked quite pleased.

As I closed in on the altar I caught sight of the females in the bridal party first. Katniss, as the maid of honor, was standing there first. I would be standing right in front of her. She was smiling brightly at me. Mrs. Everdeen was behind her. She was the matron of honor. I hadn't realized that Prim, as the flower girl, had been following us down the aisle. She must have been behind the door. Prim passed me by as I stopped in front of the altar and came to stand behind her mother.

The two of us exchanged a quick smile with each other. She was such a sweet little girl. And I knew that she would like this once it actually got started. Once we were away from everyone else. Effie, Alana, Carrie - along with Marley in her arms - Julie, Skye, Annie Cresta, Mags and Wiress were all behind them. Each one was smiling a little bit more than the next. I noticed that Alana looked very happy. _Because she's about to gain another daughter, even though it will only be for a few days_.

They didn't look absolutely horrible. They were all wearing red dresses. They should have been blue... Cato loved blue. They were different styles, some short and some long, but each one suited the girl that was wearing it. Effie's was over the top and seemed brighter than the others. Prim's made her look innocent, just barely reaching below her knees. Katniss's was shorter but the neck rose high. She looked good. Mrs. Everdeen's was like a less extravagant version of Effie's. Most of the other's dresses looked similar to hers. Each one of the women was still smiling at me.

Finally we reached the front of the altar. I let out a deep breath and glanced up at everyone, fighting the urge to pass out. Finnick came over and kissed me on the cheek gently. I smiled into his little kiss and responded with one of my own. The audience were cooing softly at our little display of sibling-like love. Finnick's hand laid on the side of my face for a moment before I nodded at him with a smile, letting him know that I was ready to back away. I was ready to do this.

He backed away, taking his spot with the groomsmen. Gale was next to leave my side. He pressed a harder kiss to my cheek and squeezed my hand gently. He whispered a good luck to me before following Finnick. The men were all much more simply dressed. Each one was in a black suit was a darker colored button down shirt underneath. Dean was the first of the men to stand near us. Not surprising seeing as he was the best man. Damien, Aidan, Brutus, Gale, Cinna, Finnick, and Haymitch were behind him. They all gave me reassuring nods. Cinna seemed to be the only one that was actually smiling at me.

My heart skipped a beat and I turned to look over at Cato. He was standing in front of Caesar, who was dressed relatively demurely. He looked very much like the rest of the men with us. He seemed to be the happiest one here. Besides Cato, that is. He was wearing a black suit and a white shirt underneath it. Although I noticed that the buttons were gold and there was gold trim underneath the collar. As I looked closer I noticed that underneath his collar was the golden Mockingjay pin. I smiled and nodded at him. Just the sight of him calmed me immensely. His hair was slicked back and he held out a hand to me.

Taking it gently I allowed Cato to help me up the steps. He gave me a long smile and I grinned back at him. He must have been noticing that I was shaking slightly. Everything came shooting back to me. Meeting Cato as I got ready for the Capitol. Seeing him at the Tribute Parade. His laughter that first day in training. The shock in his eyes the second. The kiss at President Snow's party. The second and his true feelings at the Interviews. Watching him fall in love with me during the Games, as I fell right back in love with him. All of it... It all led to this moment.

Caesar motioned for me to hand the flowers back to Katniss and I did so. As I turned back to hand them to her Katniss sent me a little wink. I laughed softly and smiled at her. She hadn't winked at me in years. It used to be something that we did so often. Turning back I nodded at Caesar and came to stand at Cato's side. Cato smirked at me and nudged my arm gently. I grinned back at him and smiled as Caesar chuckled softly at us.

My hands were shaking slightly and I felt Cato slowly run his fingers over the back of my hand. It had never felt so good to have him touch me. To know that I wasn't alone in this and I never would be. Caesar shifted to let us take a step forward. We were facing away from the crowd but I could see the men and women in the bridal party smiling at us. They all looked happy. Even Gale looked slightly happy. Although I knew that he would rather us be back in the woods of District 12.

"What a beautiful wedding. Filled with beautiful people that are all thrilled to be here," Caesar said brightly. The crowd was silent but they were all smiling. At least they were respectful enough to not speak during my wedding. "Dearly beloved, we are gathered here today to witness the union of Cato Hadley and Aspen Antaeus in holy matrimony, which is an honorable estate that is not to be entered into unadvisedly or lightly, but reverently and soberly. Into this estate these two persons present come now to be joined. If anyone can show just cause why they may not be lawfully joined together, let them speak now or forever hold their peace."

We barely waited a moment before Caesar continued to speak. No one would have said anything anyways. President Snow would have killed someone before they could say anything. "What fond memories we do all remember of Cato and Aspen when they first came to the Capitol. They can thank the generosity of the Capitol for bringing them together," Caesar said. My jaws ground together. Cato tensed next to me. "And we can thank them for the greatest Games ever played. We thank them for letting us cry with them and love with them. We thank them for every moment we've gotten to watch them. And no matter what happens in the next Games we will watch you both and love with you. We thank you for letting us celebrate this last night with us."

Cato and I were both wearing terribly fake smiles. When I turned to look at Cato I blushed and let a real smile fall over my face. "Just to show you how grateful we truly are to you and just to show you how much we have enjoyed watching the both of you over the past year, we would like to show you just the way that we saw you. We would like you to see the transition we have seen. From two strong Tributes in the Hunger Games, to Victors, to husband and wife," Caesar said.

My brows raised in curiosity as Caesar motioned to the porch of President Snow's mansion. Cato and I turned back to see a large screen dropping over the front of the porch. My jaws ground together as I realized that they were showing a highlight clip of Cato and I's greatest moments. My stomach lodged itself in my throat as I realized that most of the moments were going to be from the Games. The lighting in the area went down and I looked at the screen, smiling when Cato wrapped his hand around my own.

His hands were shaking slightly and I smiled, watching the first clip roll across the screen. He was just as nervous as I was. It surprised me. The once strong and fierce Career was now just as scared as the little girl from District 12. But at least we were together. The first clip was just what I was expecting. It was our Reapings. Something that I hadn't seen in quite some time and would have been happy to never see again. The Capitol was playing it like they were to be thanked for bringing us together. His was so calm and he looked so collected. I looked panicked and angry.

It wasn't something that I wanted to see at my wedding. The clips ended quickly and the next that were shown were us at the first Tribute Parade. Cato looked like a true warrior in his attire. He was smirking and standing proud. Then there was me. I looked furious but I also looked proud. I looked ready. Those scenes ended quickly and the next ones that were shown were of training. It was only brief but there were clips of my knife throwing and Cato's sword display. I smiled when it even showed us fighting against each other. We actually looked like we were having fun. _Until he punched me_... Which they didn't show.

Each one of our scores were shown next and it quickly vanished. Then came the party at President Snow's mansion. It showed me dancing with the other Tributes and a few Sponsors. Cato's clips were of the same thing. Up until it showed our kiss. This was the first time that I had seen it in video format. I looked more shocked than I did in the pictures but I still seemed to be enjoying it. The kiss before the Interviews was next and each one of our responses of our feelings towards the other were shown.

If only they could have seen the video of that night up on the roof. They would have loved that. The way that we had spoken to each other and the way that we had kissed. That kiss right before the Games. The first kiss that I had really gotten the chance to enjoy. Then it was the both of us on our way to the hovercraft. We saw a few shots of the both of us in the Games, mostly with each other. Although - because it was the Capitol and they were required to show something brutal - it showed a number of the brutal deaths that we had both taken part of.

It showed me saving Cato and vice versa in the beginning of the Games. It showed us later that night over the girl from District 8. There was also Cato helping me after the wolf mutt. There were the few visits that he made before my birthday. I noticed that in each one we looked slightly happier than the next. There was Cato saving my life on my birthday and the unfortunate Tracker Jacker event. There was us together after the Feast and in the cave before the Death Match. I blushed deeply at that one. The Death Match was shown after that and our celebrations once we won.

But it was one scene in particular - the only full scene that they showed - that made my legs quiver. The scene right before the knives. " _I know what I'm telling you, Cato. I'll be dead in a few minutes. You kill me and you get to go home. You get to be the Victor just like you always wanted to be. Make your family proud."_

It was obvious that I was about to die. We were down on the ground standing by the edge of the river. Cato looked horrified as I set my hand on his face and giving him a small kiss before pulling away. It left a little stain of blood. My vision had been so blurry that I'd barely been able to see. But now I could see it just fine. The tears that were welling in the corner of his eyes. The heartbreak that was so evidently written on his face. The audience was weeping. Cato threw his sword down on the ground and I saw myself jump on the screen.

Cato leaned over and pressed a kiss against my forehead as the screen continued to play the exchange. " _No, I will not kill you. They don't get to do this. I won't. Not after everything_."

" _They'll wait until I bleed out_."

" _You've got one arrow left. Do it_."

" _No. I can't. I won't_."

" _Do it now. Before they send the mutts back. I don't want to die like that_."

" _No! You stab me! I'm as good as dead anyways! Shoot me and live with it._ "

" _You know I can't_ ," Cato said on the screen. Cato tightened his grip on my hand and turned to smile weakly at me. On the screen he rolled his arm over, pointing to the middle of his forearm. " _This vein right here. If I cut it I'll bleed out in a minute. I'll go first_."

" _You are_ not _killing yourself_."

" _It's what I want, Aspen. I'm not proud of what I did in here. But I'm proud of you. I asked to be here. You didn't. You deserve to go home. This is all I ever wanted. I got it. And I got to spend some time with you_."

Both on the screen and in real life I could feel my eyes watering. I'd never realized how desperate I had looked. How had anyone not believed that I was really in love with Cato? " _Please, don't. Don't leave me alone here_."

" _Listen. We both know they have to have a Victor. It can only be one of us. Please, take it. For me_."

That was when the first tear slipped out. There were others in the audience that were crying. Capitol members. Cato leaned over and brushed the tear out of my eyes, smiling weakly at me. My voice was breaking on the screen before I realized what I could do to get out of it. But it suddenly jumped. I noticed that they cut out the dagger scene. Not that it shocked me. But I did notice that Cato growled under his breath. Of course they didn't want to show our spark of the rebellion. We jumped forward after that to the two of us seeing each other at the Post Games Interviews. We both looked so happy.

There were videos of each of us arriving home and I smiled at both. Afterwards was a jump to the Victory Tour. We briefly went through all of the Districts and in each one I noticed that we were getting sadder and sadder. It hurt to watch it over again. But finally we arrived back in the Capitol and I smiled when I saw Cato's proposal. It showed us at the party afterwards and the sight was sweet to see. Afterwards there were clips of us headed home again.

Then there was my wedding photo shoot. They couldn't tell that my foot was broken. There was also the reading of the card. It was a good thing that no one could see any of the brutalities that happened in between the sweet moments that the Capitol could show. Our second Reapings were shown after that. That one hurt incredibly bad. It showed our arrival back to the Capitol and the Tribute Parade after that. We were somewhat matching and the sight was almost funny.

Compared to the year prior neither one of us looked even the slightest bit thrilled. There were a few clips at training and I smirked slightly. We were both so much stronger this year. No matter what it looked like. There was also the clip of President Snow announcing our marriage. The scores of this year were shown afterwards. The last two clips made me smile. The first one was of Cato smiling at me as I walked up the aisle. The second was of me, smiling and walking up to him. They must have recently been added.

We were both smiling as the screen went back up and the lights came back up to their normal brightness. Some in the audience were crying. Others were smiling and babbling happily. The other Victors, the ones that weren't on stage with us, were rolling their eyes. The ones that were up with us were smiling softly. Finnick was giving me a teasing smile. Gale was grinning softly. Katniss and Prim wore bright smiles. Everyone seemed happier than I had seen them in a long time.

"Beautiful," Caesar muttered, wiping a tear from his eyes. I had to try to not scowl. "Don't we think?" Only those in the stands cheered, but it was loud enough for everyone. The Sponsors and Victors merely smiled nastily. Cato and I both nodded our heads with false smiles. "Now, on to the good stuff!" Everyone laughed softly. Even I gave a small chuckle. _On to the good stuff indeed_. "Who gives this woman to be married to this man?"

"I do."

Despite knowing that it would happen, I gave a small start when a hand placed itself on my shoulder. Haymitch had stepped out of line to come and stand with me. His hand was tight on my shoulder and he smiled reassuringly at me. This time his voice was louder and more confident than I had ever heard him before. He planted a small kiss on the top of my head and I grinned at him before he moved back into place. Then I turned to stand with Cato again.

Once he was back in his spot behind Cato, Caesar turned back to speak to the crowd again. "Thank you, Haymitch," Caesar said. Haymitch nodded. I noticed that his hair was combed and for once he seemed to have not even had an ounce of a drink. "Now let us proceed. Please be seated." Everyone in the area took a seat interrupting the soft silence. But quickly everyone settled down. "Do you, Cato Hadley and Aspen Antaeus, pledge to create a life of mutual respect, compassion, generosity, and patience toward each other as you grow together in years?"

They were the traditional vows of the Capitol. We had known what we were supposed to do from the beginning. We had spent much of the night after the second training day going over what we were supposed to do and say. My eyes narrowed at the first part. We had a week together, at most. We had each already been told what to do for each part of the ceremony. We had known that this would be the first part.

"We do," Cato and I spoke together.

Our voices carried and I almost flinched at the sound. We seemed so similar. So much more similar than we had last year. "Do you pledge to recognize each other's individuality and celebrate each other's uniqueness as a strength in marriage? While at the same time, will you guard one another weaknesses with understanding, support, and inspiration?" Caesar continued.

"We will," we answered together again.

"And do you pledge to share the love you have for each other with all living beings? To be a couple that lets their marriage radiate into others, making their lives more beautiful because of it?" Caesar asked.

 _Don't roll your eyes, Aspen_. I knew that it was something designed from the Capitol. It made sense. We weren't anything more than something to entertain them for a while until we died. And this... this was pure gold. We had come together because of them, had fallen in love because of them, and we were going to give our lives for each other because of them. It made my blood boil but I forced myself to calm down. This was my wedding. I deserved to be happy. I shouldn't have to steam over them. So I smiled along with Cato and nodded again.

"We do," we spoke together.

Then we moved onto the second part of the vows. The vows that were traditional in District 2. "Cato and Aspen, if you will face each other and repeat after me," Caesar instructed. Cato and I turned to face each other and we joined hands. My hands were shaking but Cato's were too. He was smiling at me and I smiled back softly. "Aspen, I give you my life."

My torso gave a little shiver and I smiled softly. "Aspen, I give you my life," Cato said.

He was not smiling like the rest of the audience. He was completely serious. I knew that it was more than the vows. He meant it. In these Games he was going to sacrifice his own life to ensure that I lived. But he would not be able to do that. He was not going to die for me. That was my job. I was going to die for him. He deserved his life. Tears slowly started to well up in the corner of my eyes as the music hit a soft crescendo.

"With all that I am and all that I have, I honor you," Caesar continued.

Cato's thumb was tracing over the back of my hand. He brought his hand up to wipe away the tear. Caesar brushed away a tear in his own eyes. "With all that I am and all that I have, I honor you," Cato said.

I wanted to tell him that I knew that he would be, but I was unable to speak during the vows other than saying my own. "Aspen," Caesar prompted. I nodded, letting him know that I was paying attention. "Cato, I give you my life."

"Cato, I give you my life," I immediately repeated.

Never had vows meant anything truer than they meant right now. I noticed that both of our families were crying. Because they knew that it was the truth. He knew that it was the truth. I was going to give my life to ensure that he won these Games. He could be with his family. He would find another girl to love. He had to. Caesar smiled before repeating the second half of the vow.

"With all that I am and all that I have, I honor you."

"With all that I am and all that I have, I honor you," I ended.

Now we moved into the vows that were traditionally spoken in District 12. Cato had ensured that he knew these by heart. He wanted to impress me. The thought made my heart warm. "Cato, please repeat after me," Caesar said. Cato nodded and smiled at me. "In the Name of President Snow, I, Cato Hadley, take you, Aspen Antaeus, to be my wife, to have and to hold from this day forward, for better, for worse, for richer, for poorer, in sickness and in health, to love and to cherish, until we are parted by death. This is my solemn vow."

In District 12 the name of President Snow was replaced with God. Whether or not someone believed in that sort of thing it was better to say than his name. His name felt cursed. But we were here and I knew that we were both going to have to say it. At least we both knew that it wasn't really what we meant.

"In the Name of President Snow, I, Cato Hadley, take you, Aspen Antaeus, to be my wife, to have and to hold from this day forward, for better, for worse, for richer, for poorer, in sickness and in health, to love and to cherish, until we are parted by death. This is my solemn vow," Cato recited.

Sighs of happiness were exchanged between the people in the stands. "Now, Aspen?" Caesar prompted.

"In the Name of President Snow, I, Aspen Antaeus, take you Cato Hadley, to be my husband, to have and to hold from this day forward, for better, for worse, for richer, for poorer, in sickness and in health, to love and to cherish, until we are parted by death. This is my solemn vow," I told Cato.

My voice nearly shook at the end of my statement as I thought about the fact that in a moment we would be man and wife. Caesar smiled at us and we gave him smiles of our own. Real ones. Because, for this moment, there were no Games. It was a wedding and we would be able to live together forever. Caesar laid a hand on my arm for a moment before turning to the audience.

"The couple has also wished to write their own vows to each other," Caesar stated.

My jaw nearly dropped but I managed to keep it shut. My eyes did bug out of my skull for a moment though. We were supposed to have written our own vows? No one told me that. I looked over at Cato but he seemed as surprised as I was at the sudden revelation. I was going to sound like an idiot.

"Aspen. Would you care to go first?" Caesar asked.

 _No_. I nodded anyways. My hands tightened around Cato's for a moment before I gathered my thoughts and opened my mouth. Cato gave me a reassuring nod. For a moment I tripped up on my own tongue. Words didn't come easily to me. I hoped that this didn't come out like a jumbled mess.

"Cato. When I first met you I was in the wrong state of mind to think about a boyfriend or anything. Not even friends. I didn't want to like you. I tried everything to ensure that I didn't like you. But somehow you wound up on the inside. You made me fall in love with you. I didn't want to be in love. I hated it. But at the same time I loved you. I loved being in love. There was nothing that I could do to change it. Because love doesn't happen at a convenient time. It doesn't happen when you want it.

"That was something that you taught me. There is never a good time or place for true love. It happens accidentally, in a heartbeat, in a single moment. I'm still not really sure that I know when that moment was. But it came. And it never left me. I'd never been happier. I've still never been happier. We're not easy. We never have been. But I don't care how hard being together is, nothing is worse than being apart.

"No matter what happens to us in a few days, it doesn't matter. The only thing that matters is right here and right now. I love you. Thank you. For everything. For everything that you've ever said or done. Even the things that you might not be so proud of. Because I'm proud. I'm home. Because for me, home isn't a place. It's a person. And I'm finally home. I never thought someone could make me this happy. Thank you," I said softly.

Sweet noises were escaping through the crowd and I smiled at Cato. There were a number of sobs from the audience. Even the Victors were smiling at this point. Alana was crying softly and I spotted Katniss and Prim comforting her. Most of the girls were crying. The boys were all smiling. My tear fell before I even noticed it. Cato gently reached up and wiped it away, pressing a kiss into my hair. He seemed extremely happy with me. He opened his mouth and I nodded him along.

"Aspen, I once told you that I'd never had a redeeming quality. I once told you that I'd never had a redeeming quality until you. I still think that that's the truth. No matter what I will always be here for you. I've never loved anyone the way that I love you. I'll always love you. There's nothing that can change that. There was nothing that could ever change that. Because I always knew it. I just tried to deny it.

"I knew if from the second that I looked at you. I knew that there was something about you that I needed. Turns out it wasn't something about you at all. It was just you. You are the most beautiful woman I have ever seen walking this earth. Inside and out. And you don't even know it. You have no clue how beautiful you are or how bright you make my life. You have no idea how even the simplest things that you do affect me.

"No amount of time with you would ever be enough. It doesn't matter if it's a day or a week or a month. I don't care. I just want to spend the rest of it with you. I know that you think something horrible is going to happen in the next Games. It might. But it will not be to you. I will protect you to my dying breath. I will always protect you," Cato said.

As much as I tried to prevent it, another tear escaped my eyes. That time I was fast enough to brush it away. Others in the audience were crying and Caesar wiped away a tear himself. I knew that this was not a wedding that they had ever heard before. This was probably the first wedding that they had ever heard where the two involved cared this much about each other. Once the muttering and sniffling went down Caesar spoke again.

"We will now proceed with the exchanging of the rings. Aspen, will you please do us the honor of giving Cato his ring first?" Caesar asked.

That was the part that I had been looking forward to. Where I could give him the ring and get the hell off of this stage. I nodded and grabbed the golden ring from Katniss. It was rather plain but it was slightly more sparkly than the average wedding ring. It did match with my Mockingjay pin. As I slid it on Cato's finger I noticed that there was an imprint of the same Mockingjay symbol that was on my pin. I smirked and slid the ring on the rest of the way.

"Cato, I give you this ring as a symbol of our vows, and with all that I am, and all that I have, I honor you. With this ring, I thee wed," I said softly, smiling up at him.

Cato took my ring from Dean, who nodded at the both of us. He grabbed my hand and I watched as he pushed it onto my right ring finger. "Aspen, I give you this ring as a symbol of our vows, and with all that I am, and all that I have, I honor you. With this ring, I thee wed," Cato said, retracting his hand from mine.

The ceremony had come to an end. There was only one last thing to be done. "By the power vested in me by the grace of President Snow and the Country of Panem, I now pronounce you husband and wife. Cato, you may kiss your bride," Caesar said, the smile in his voice evident.

It was over. We were husband and wife. I laughed as Cato grabbed me around the waist and pulled me into him. The crowd went up in a roar of cheers and my friends and family all cheered with them. Even those in the audience right in front of us were cheering. But I couldn't care less. The only thing that mattered to me was that Cato was now my husband. And as our lips met I couldn't help but to think that maybe getting married in the Capitol wasn't the worst thing in the world.

Cato was smiling into the kiss and I pulled away, feeling a tiny bit awkward kissing him in front of Prim and Gale. Prim was still so young and Gale was... Gale. As we pulled away the cheers only increased. Knowing that we still had to play the public figures Cato and I raised our arms, waving happily to the screaming crowd. Cato's strong arm was draped over my back, keeping me pressed tightly against him. Despite how calm he looked I knew that he hated being around all of these people. He didn't trust them. Especially not near me. His wife. It sounded strange. I was sure that it would never not sound strange.

We waved to the crowd for a few more minutes before Caesar ushered us inside of President Snow's mansion for the reception. I knew that we would be here for a few hours before they allowed us to go back to the Tribute Remake Center. I knew that the only reason that we weren't required to be here all night was because the Interviews were tomorrow. If this was a normal wedding we would be forced to be here until the sun rose.

My heels wobbled on the floor slightly as we walked into the yard. It had been about six months since I had last been here and the place looked no friendlier then it did last time. People were already milling around in the yard and they were now pouring in by the hundreds. They were all coming from the ceremony. Cato was holding my hand as we walked down the stairs into the main area of the garden. Katniss and Prim were close on our heels.

Both of our families were following us as we made our way to a secluded part of the garden to speak. Not that it worked for very long. There was a long period of time that Cato and I were pulled up onto a small stage to speak to Victors, Sponsors, and some government officials. Caesar Flickerman had been standing with us to introduce us to everyone. There were lots of kisses on the cheeks, hugs, and well-wishes from people whose names I didn't know or want to know.

I had even met the two Sponsors that had sent me the medicine after the attack from the wolf and the one from after the firestorm and attack from the boy from District 9. They were both happy to see me standing with Cato. When I had thanked them for their kind words, I had really meant it. They were the reason that we were all standing over here right now. The two of us met the Gamemakers for this year, chatted with what felt like every soul in Panem, and took more pictures than I had in my entire life.

Some were staged. There were ones of Cato holding me against his chest, of the two of us locked in a kiss, or waving to the crowd. Others had been taken when I wasn't paying attention. When I was laughing at something that he said or when we were introducing members of our family together. They did let us have enough time to show our families learning to integrate themselves with each other. Even though there really wasn't a point. But it was nice to see.

Almost two hours after we had arrived for the reception, we were ushered into the normal moments that were required from a wedding. Effie escorted us around all night, ensuring that we were on time for everything. It wouldn't be until midnight that I was actually allowed to just wander the President's yard. They had told us that much. Everything that we were doing right now was Capitol-sanctioned and being closely monitored. And photographed. Lots of photographs.

People were all enjoying themselves as Cato and I took the seven million and sixty thousand pictures that we were supposed to take in every inch of President Snow's mansion. Finally we were officially introduced, where we went into our first dance as a married couple. Afterwards we were allowed to do dances with our own families. Katniss, Prim, Ms. Everdeen, and I brought along the rest of the woman and showed them the traditional dance of District 12. Fast-paced, happy, and much less formal than the ones in the Capitol. The other women - particularly Carrie, Skye, and Julie - seemed to really enjoy it.

Cato spent some time dancing with his own family. He even brought Ms. Everdeen into a dance. I took turns dancing with Finnick, Haymitch, and Cinna. All heavily photographed. Then we had the cheers from everyone, our thanks to those who had planned the wedding and who had come, and then there were the toasts. I wasn't even aware that we were supposed to have toasts. Evidently the rest of my family hadn't been aware either.

But their speeches had been very nice. Ms. Everdeen had gone on to say how proud she was of me and had welcomed Cato as a new member of the family. Katniss had congratulated us and threatened to kill Cato herself if he ever hurt me. Prim had thanked both Cato and I for everything. Particularly for saving her, and him for saving me. Gale had gone on to say what I meant to him and had told Cato that he had damn well better treat me right. No one realized that Gale wasn't just teasing Cato. He was being absolutely serious.

Skye and Julie had both thanked me for taking care of Cato and for being the one true love of Cato's life. Alana and Damien had welcomed me to the family and had been sure to say that it was nice to have another daughter. Carrie had been very enthusiastic and had been more than happy to offer to kill Cato herself if he hurt me. Dean had given a long and sweet speech about how much he really did love Cato - despite his many attempts to say that he didn't - and he was proud of how far he had come. Aidan was short and sweet, welcoming me to the family and nothing more. Everyone laughed.

Particularly when Alana had glared at Aidan and he had finally said that I was good for Cato. Haymitch had briefly called me a pain in the ass before congratulating me and telling me that my parents would have been proud. Finnick had called me the little sister that he had never wanted. Cinna had given a short but sweet speech about how I would always be his Girl of Fire, but his friend, more than anything else. The speeches alone had taken almost an hour.

There had been a formal dinner - even though I knew that there would be more food all night long - and I had noticed how happy everyone was to see it. We had done a champagne toast where we had locked arms and taken a very heavily photographed drink. Then we had cut the wedding cake - which was taller than Cato and me put together - and had fed each other a piece. I hadn't been able to resist pushing it slightly into his face. He had laughed and brought me into a kiss which had smeared it on my face. I knew that the pictures would be everywhere tomorrow.

Then we were able to finally have some time to ourselves. Cameras were still flashing everywhere but now people were starting to enjoy themselves a little more and letting Cato and I have some time with our families. The girls went off into one area of the garden and the boys found themselves in another. Both Wiress and Mags excused themselves and the rest of us waved at them. Many people were trying to come over and speak to me so I was immensely grateful that Cato was asking them to give me a moment with my friends and family.

"This place is horrible," Katniss snarled.

"Yes. It is," I said, noting that she was looking at all of the food.

"What are these people wearing?" she asked.

"They think they look good. They don't get how crazy they look to the rest of us," I said.

"How the hell did they get so much food?" Katniss snarled.

I'd had a funny feeling that she wouldn't like this place. "Because they don't see the shortages that we have in the Districts. This is how they've been raised," I said slowly.

"It's horrible," Katniss snapped.

"Oh, I can make it even worse. See those glasses with the liquid?" I asked Katniss.

She, along with the rest of the women, turned to look at them. "What about them?" Katniss asked, turning back to me.

"Don't drink them," I warned her.

"Why not?" Prim asked.

"You're supposed to drink that when you're full," I explained.

Everyone gave me an odd look at that with the exception of Annie. I supposed she knew what I meant. "What does that mean?" Carrie asked.

"You drink it and it makes you sick. You throw up everything that you've eaten already to make room for more food. They designed it so that you could taste everything in one night," I explained.

They looked so disgusted that I was almost glad that I had told them what the little blue drinks were. Or maybe I should have let them eat them. It might have been the slightest bit amusing to watch their reactions. Although that probably would have been my fault. I was sure that there would have been some way that they could have blamed me for the fact that my friends and family drank the blue drink and threw it up on someone. Then they would have taken it out on me in the arena. Because somehow it would have been my fault.

"Repulsive," Ms. Everdeen said.

"It's horrid. Cato was disgusted when we found out about it. We saw them for the first time at the party after the end of the Victory Tour," I explained.

"I can only imagine what your mother and father thought of this place when they were here," Ms. Everdeen said.

"I'm sure they hated it as much as I did," I said.

It took me a moment to notice that she was looking around nervously. Of course she was. Two people that she had known to come here had died. The other was like her daughter and this time she was going to die. She was shifting nervously on her feet and I grabbed a glass of champagne from a server. They were all trying to avoid my friends but they were passing closely to me. The woman who I grabbed the glass from smiled at me but I turned away from her quickly, handing it to Ms. Everdeen.

"Take it. Good for the nerves. Trust me. Trust me it only gets worse the longer you spend here," I warned her softly, more as a warning than anything else.

Annie nodded and I turned to her. She was the only person here, besides me, that really understood exactly what these people were about. Truth be told I had never actually spoken to her before but she had always seemed sweet. Mostly because of everything that Finnick had ever told me about her. It was odd. Without even bothering to ever introduce myself we seemed to already be friends.

"Aspen is right. This place is awful. Every time I come here I expect it to be a little bit better," Annie said.

"That's what I think, too," I admitted.

"I suppose its blind faith. But every once in a while something good does come out of here. And it isn't just your daughter and friend who's found some happiness while here," Annie said.

Her voice was light and lilting. I noticed that her dress was looser and flowing around her waist. It reminded me of something that someone would wear while prancing around in the ocean. It made me smile. "Annie, I do hope that you find some happiness with him one day," I told her softly.

"Thank you. I do love him very much," she whispered back.

"I do, too. And he loves you very much. The first time that I was here, he told me that I reminded him of you. That was why he was helping me."

"He came back to the District 4 loft after you came here. I remember that he enjoyed watching you. I remember knowing that you were the one that he was going to try and save," Annie admitted.

"I'm so sorry about this, Annie."

"That's alright. Things have a funny way of working out in the end," Annie said.

"I hope you're right," I said.

"I think I am. If you don't mind, I'm getting very tired. It's been a long night. Congratulations, Aspen. Tell Cato that I said the same." I nodded at her. "It was a beautiful wedding. Goodnight, everyone," Annie called back.

Everyone stood and gave her long hugs, telling her their own goodbyes. She thanked me for inviting her softly and wished me a happy life with Cato again before heading off to say the same to him. I assumed that she was also going to say something to Finnick. I wasn't sure how they saw each other or when they did but I was sure that they had some type of system. I heard a loud chirp of my name and turned to see Effie walking up to me.

"Aspen!"

"Hi, Effie," I said sweetly.

"Oh, my dear, I am so happy for you!"

"Thanks, Effie."

"There is always press to be done so ensure that you mingle more. Don't just stand here all night," Effie barked.

Of course she was telling me something about mingling for the cameras. "I know. I'll head out soon enough," I said, which was mostly a lie.

"As for the rest of you, enjoy the food and, please, speak with the Capitol people. They would love to hear all about life in the Districts."

Everyone looked horrified. "Our pleasure, Effie," Ms. Everdeen said, sensing that no one else would speak.

"Have a good night everyone. Aspen, please don't be out too late. I'll get you in the morning," Effie shouted back to me, already gone and speaking with another woman.

"Okay!"

But there was no way that I was going to be able to go to bed early. It was already past midnight and I knew that I would be trapped out here for a number more hours. Until they were ready to let me leave, I was stuck out here. My friends and family were all staring at the two of us curiously. They seemed less than thrilled with Effie and seemed shocked that I had even managed to control myself around Effie for as long as I had. Of course there were plenty of times that they hadn't seen me lose control. I turned to them and smiled weakly.

"She means well. She really does. She's just been raised here. It's hard for her to realize what things are like for us in the Districts. To her, this is normal," I said softly.

A year ago I would have never thought that I would be defending Effie. But they had to know that she really wasn't that bad. She was just doing what she was raised to do. "It's very sweet of you to defend her like that. She's your friend despite everything that makes you two so different," Alana Hadley said softly.

"Thank you. I've bit into Effie a few more times than I should have. But she really is a good woman. I try to remember that I would be just like her if I was born here. And she would be just like me if she was born in District 12," I admitted.

"You're a good girl, Aspen," Alana said.

"Thank you."

"It's why I'm so happy that you're my daughter. If you don't mind me calling you that," Alana said under her breath.

Out of the corner of my eyes I noticed that she was avoiding looking at Ms. Everdeen, who was actually smiling at her. Obviously Alana didn't want to step on anyone's toes. Smiling at the older woman, I grabbed her hand. I had lost my mother long before I could even remember what she looked like. I was relatively certain that I'd never even had a chance to speak to her. Not that I could remember, anyways. But I did have a mother. In fact, I had two.

"Of course," I said happily.

"Thank you, sweetheart. And I hope you don't mind," Alana said, turning to Ms. Everdeen.

"Of course not. I don't mind. Aspen is a wonderful girl. I'm not surprised that it's finally come time for me to share her," Ms. Everdeen said.

"I'll take turns," I joked.

"Welcome to the family. Officially," Alana teased.

We both smiled. "I know that my mother is looking down on me and I know that she wants women like you looking after me. I never knew my mother but I know that she would have liked you. Because I do," I told Cato's mother.

She smiled at me as I leaned in to give her a tight hug, although it was a little hard with the dress acting almost as a cage. She embraced me for a moment anyways before letting me go. Prim came to stand at my side and I smiled, wrapping the young girl in my arms. Carrie grinned and shifted slightly. She was holding Marley in her arms and I smiled again. The toddler was nearly asleep in her mother's arms.

"We know that the Everdeen's and Hawthorne's will always be your family," Carrie said.

"Of course. They always have been," I said.

"But, hey... the Hadley's are your family now too," Carrie added softly.

"Thank you," I told her sweetly.

Carrie smiled and brought me in for a hug. My grip on her was loose, not wanting to wake her sleeping daughter. Carrie departed once I had let her go, going to sit at the tables that were currently unoccupied. I knew that she wanted to leave and put Marley to bed but she had nowhere to go until the cars showed up in a few hours. Out of the corner of my eye I noticed that Julie, Skye, and Katniss were all staring at a piece of cake curiously. I smirked. Katniss wouldn't have known what it was unless she had ever been inside of the Mellark's bakery. She desperately avoided it. I went in sometimes but each time it hurt more than the last.

"Why is this cake red?" Julie asked, turning back to me.

"Did they poison it?" Katniss asked.

I snorted louder than I had meant to and shook my head, feeling slightly bad for laughing. They had never been here before. I had spent the past year of my life thinking about this place. "It's called red velvet," I explained.

"Like the velvet that you wear?" Prim asked.

"It's just named so because that's what it looks like. It's not bad. And I promise it isn't poison," I told Katniss.

"It looks it," Katniss said.

Skye shifted on her feet and shook her head. "I trust you, but I do not trust these people. I'm going to head over to the bar. Come on," Skye said.

She pulled Julie with her and I smirked, watching the two girls walk away. "We'll be back," Julie called after us.

"Would you mind if I stepped away for a moment to speak with my own husband?" Alana asked.

"Of course. Be my guest," I said.

"Would you mind if I went with you? I would love to officially meet the rest of the Hadley family," Ms. Everdeen said brightly.

"It would be a pleasure. Please," Alana told Ms. Everdeen.

It left me with Katniss and Prim. I smiled at both girls and wrapped them in hugs. Prim was gripping on to me tightly. She was looking around and I noticed that every time a Capitol person would get too close to her or stare a little too long her grip on me would tighten. Katniss looked ready to tear apart anyone that dared set foot near us. She was poking at the odd feather-like design on my dress and I scowled, swatting her hand away from me.

"Stop that," I snapped.

"You didn't pick this one, did you?" Katniss asked.

"Of course not! The Capitol people chose it and then President Snow made a few last-minute changes," I said. "You honestly thought that I would pick something like this?"

"No," Katniss said.

"The dress is horrible. Trust me, I know that. President Snow seemed determined that I was to look like a proper Capitol bride," I groaned.

"Well you definitely look like you belong in the Capitol," Katniss commented.

"Shut up. Cinna was the one to create it and he told me that he tried to make it as demure as possible. I trust Cinna. He's the best friend that I could have here. The first time around he was the only one that told me that he was sorry," I said.

"Did he really?" Katniss asked, with a little look of guilt that passed over her face.

"Don't worry about it. But, Cinna... he's been good to me. I'd like you to get a chance to speak with him tonight. Both of you," I said.

"I want to meet him," Prim said happily.

"He'll like you. And I've told him a lot about you," I admitted to Katniss.

Katniss's eyebrows furrowed and I smiled at her. "Why?" she asked.

Shrugging my shoulders at her I moved them slightly closer to the boys. I wanted to speak to them once they were done talking with Cato. "Because it was almost you that met him," I told her softly.

It was the truth. One more second and it would have been her that was here right now. Or maybe not. I just knew that a lot would have been different. "That's true... I suppose," Katniss muttered.

"Hey, I'm really happy that you both could be here," I told them.

"We're happy to be here, too," Katniss said. "Sort of."

We all laughed. Prim looked even more out of her element than Katniss did. Of course, Katniss was older and a better actress. "I'm happy for you, Aspen," Prim said.

"Thanks, sweetie."

"And I'm glad that I got to see your wedding. Even if you look ridiculous," Prim added.

Katniss immediately began to laugh and after I took a moment to recover from the shock at her statement I laughed as well. She was right, I did look a little ridiculous. Although I was nowhere near the strangest looking person tonight. I was just the one that was getting all of the cameras flashed at her. I knew that there would be at least ten times the amount of pictures of me than Cato. Mostly because of the dress. Everyone would want to see me in it in every single spot of the mansion.

A soft clicking of heels came from behind me and I turned back to see Cato. He was grinning over at me and I smiled back. My husband... It didn't sound quite real yet. Cato was standing towering over the rest of us and I noticed that Prim had backed away slightly. She was definitely a lot smaller than he was. She was half of his size. Katniss was much taller than me but even she was dwarfed by Cato. I kept a hand on the small of Prim's back, nudging her forward slightly. He wouldn't bite. Not right now at least.

"Sorry to interrupt, ladies, but would you mind if I borrowed my wife for a moment?" Cato asked.

I wanted to smack myself for the blush that flooded my face. He was my husband. I shouldn't blush at a stupid statement. Prim merely stared at Cato in shock. I could see why. Gale was the tallest person that she had ever met and she had known him since she was tiny. He had always been there and he had a friendly demeanor. Cato was new and had threatened to kill me more than once. He almost had, too. I was actually rather certain that Gale was an inch or so taller than Cato. But Cato would always look more menacing.

"Yes. I would actually," Katniss finally snarled.

"Katniss," I warned.

"I'd like to have a word with you," Katniss snarled.

"Cat!"

My jaw nearly dropped at Katniss's words and I leaned over so that my dress covered her foot. Without warning I stomped down on it with my heel and I saw Katniss's eyes widen. Other than that she gave no indication that anything was wrong. Although I knew that it must have really hurt her. The point of the heel was sharp enough that it could have punctured her foot. But I hadn't stepped on her that hard.

"Alright," Cato said, with an amused smile. "Go ahead."

Katniss stood with one hip popped out slightly and her arms folded over her chest. From across the yard I could see that Gale, who was currently speaking with Beetee, was watching us closely. "Katniss," I whispered.

"That girl right there is my sister. I love her more than anything in this world. If you ever lay a hand on her... If anything ever happens to her, you will have me to deal with. You think she's good with a bow? You should see me," Katniss snarled.

Once more I stomped down on her foot and this time she bit out a little snarl. "Cat," I snapped.

"I believe you," Cato said. Not once had he lost the smirk on his face. He leaned over and caught me around the shoulders. He was sure not to stand on the side that Prim was on. "But you aren't the only one here that cares for Aspen."

"You're married to her. I would hope that you care about her," Katniss said.

"Cat," I warned again.

Despite the fact that this conversation was about me it felt like I was intruding on it. "I love her just as much as you do. No harm will come to her while I'm around." Cato leaned over and gave me a small kiss before motioning to Katniss. "Let's walk. I'd like to speak to the girl that Aspen actually cares for," Cato said.

Katniss glared at Cato for a moment before I nodded at her to leave. "Go ahead. Play nice, you two. I'd like you both to leave here in one piece," I said.

"See you soon," Katniss said.

Cato offered her his arm and, after a good moment of hesitation, she took it. Cameras slowly started to flash with the two of them. I watched them go out of the corner of my eyes. Katniss looked less than thrilled to have to go and deal with Cato but she went anyways. Once she thought that I was out of earshot she began to chew him out. I only heard about ten seconds of her rant but at least three threats were thrown in. Smiling at Katniss, I turned to look at Prim. There were other people that I needed to speak to.

"Prim, go find your mom for a little bit, will you? There are a few people that I need to speak to," I said, motioning to where Ms. Everdeen was standing and nursing a drink.

"Our mom," Prim corrected me with a small smile.

My head snapped over to her and I grinned. There was my girl. My family. They would always be my family. No matter if I was going to die in a few days or a few decades. "Right. Go find, Mom. I'll come find you soon," I told her softly.

"Okay."

"You need me to walk you over there?" I asked.

"I think I can manage ten paces," Prim teased.

"Right," I said, laughing. "Sometimes I forget that you're not that same little kid anymore."

"You made sure of that," Prim said, giving me a quick hug.

We smiled at each other as she headed over to Ms. Everdeen, Alana, Carrie, Marley and Leah. "Save me a dance, okay?" I asked.

"Of course," she said.

The younger girl gave me one last quick hug before dashing through the small area. I smiled at her and waved her off as I was swarmed by the crowd. Some people were congratulating me and most of them I had never even spoken to. It seemed that most of the Victors were avoiding me but that suited me just fine. I could see President Snow, Seneca Crane, and Plutarch Heavensbee standing up at the top of the staircase. I knew that I would not be getting through tonight without speaking to them.

Turning on my heel away from the people that made my skin crawl, I looked back at the boys. Cato was still speaking with Katniss, the former looking utterly relaxed as the latter chewed him out. It wasn't even a moment later that Julie and Skye went to join in chewing Cato out. It made me laugh softly as I turned back to face the rest of the boys. They were all smiling and motioning for me to join them. The only one that didn't look overly thrilled to see me was Damien. Although Aidan didn't look too excited either.

Not that it surprised me. I knew that most of the men in Cato's family didn't really like me. With the exception of Dean. I came to stand next to Gale, sensing that he was probably the most excited person here to see me. Perhaps beside Finnick, but I could tell that Gale was not overly fond of him. He never had been. I wondered how he would feel about Finnick if he knew the truth. About everything. About both of us.

"Hey there, Tiger," Gale greeted.

Despite the makeup being there to cover it up I knew that a harsh blush flooded my face. It had never bothered me when he called me that in front of Katniss or Prim. They had known me all of my life. They knew the nicknames that we all had for each other. But these people, who I needed to act tough around, didn't need to know about a silly childhood nickname. Brutus let out a harsh laugh and I scowled at him.

"Shut up, Brutus," I snapped.

"Tiger?" Brutus asked.

"Don't you call me that. Come on, Gale. Married woman now. Can't keep calling me by my childhood nickname," I said softly.

The truth was that I wanted to hear him say it. Because there wouldn't be many more chances for him to call me that. "Doesn't matter how old you are," Gale said.

"I'm older than you," I teased.

"I don't care. You and Katniss will always be Tiger and Catnip."

I noticed that Cinna's lips turned up at his statement. "Long story," I explained.

"Are you happy, Aspen?" Gale asked, after a pregnant pause.

Anyone that hadn't been paying attention to the conversation before was paying attention now. "Yes," I said quickly, hoping to not offend Cato's family. Not that it mattered. Their daughter and sister-in-law would be dead within seventy-two hours. "This isn't the way that I wanted to get married. This isn't the time either."

"I'd imagine that's the truth. Two nineteen-year-old's," Damien said.

"It's just because I'm a little too young. We both are. But it's what happened. And, despite everything, I really am happy. I feel a little silly and I wish that cameras weren't constantly flashing in my face, but I am happy," I told Gale honestly.

Gale nodded at me. The rest of his family looked reasonably happy. With the exception of Damien, who still looked a little bothered by me. Despite his stiff stature and dislike of Cato, I knew that Gale was happy for me. I would always be his first love. Something that came with the territory was a desire to have me always happy. Even if it meant that he himself wasn't. He handed me a flute of champagne and I grabbed it, kissing his cheek gently.

"Thank you," I said.

"How sweet are you, darling. You have your perfect man and your perfect wedding. You're going to get everything that you want," Brutus said.

"Not everything, Brutus," I snapped back.

"Plus you get a man that's willing to die for you. A man that is going to die for you," Brutus snarled.

Both Aidan and Dean narrowed their eyes at Brutus. Damien looked like he might throttle the man. Despite the fact that I was now their family they would always be cheering on Cato. Just like my family would always be cheering me on. "Charmer. At least I have someone that cares for me, Brutus," I said.

"Must be nice for you," Brutus hissed.

"Are you ever going to know how that feels?" I asked, with a sickly sweet smile.

The cameras were flashing all around us. It meant that we were going to have to pretend that we were having a pleasant time. "At least I don't know how it feels to have a significant other that only cares for me because it benefits them," Brutus said.

"What?" I snarled.

"At least I don't have one that will turn on me the minute that the other one is gone. Do you know which one of you I'm talking about?" Brutus asked.

 _Me_. I would never admit it. He didn't understand how desperate I was to save Cato's life. Not only because he was better than me but also because I loved him more than he knew. "I really am so glad that you could be here tonight, Brutus. Please do enjoy the drinks and food," I said, motioning around us with a smile.

The flashes of the camera lit up considering that I was in a prime pose. "Thanks, Girl on Fire," Brutus snarled.

"And please do not speak to me again until you come to say goodbye to me tonight out of respect for your friend and old student getting married," I told him.

He nodded at me with a smile and turned to leave the area. "Not a problem," Brutus called back.

Once he was gone I let out a little bit of the breath that I had been holding. Brutus always made me nervous. "Brutus is Alana's friend from childhood," Damien explained.

"I remember Cato telling me that," I said.

I would have never thought that Alana would ever be able to tolerate him. "We've been dealing with him for years. As much as Cato will pretend to hate him and vice versa, the two are very fond of each other," Damien explained.

"Doesn't always seem that way," I said.

"Brutus only wishes to protect Cato from everything that he can," Damien said.

"Apparently that's the one thing that we share," I said, sensing his desire to say something else.

"We are fond of you, Aspen, but you do bring more danger into Cato's life than we're comfortable with," Damien finally said.

My jaws tightened and I noticed Gale try to advance towards him. I put out a hand, stopping my childhood friend, and gave an extremely fake smile. "Funny, considering that it was your son that threatened to kill me first," I snarled.

It was slightly nastier than I had meant to. Damien seemed about ready to say something back to me but before he got the chance, Cinna stepped in. I had barely noticed him here. He had stayed silent through most of the conversation. As usual, he only said something when he felt that it was time to say something.

"Please. We shouldn't do this here. This is your wedding, Aspen. No one should be bothering you tonight," Cinna said.

"Thanks, Cinna."

"You're very welcome."

"We're just chatting," Damien said, looking not thrilled at all.

"Your son loves this woman. It should mean that you do too," Cinna told Damien.

I noticed a little flash of emotion shoot through his eyes before he finally nodded. "I'll love whoever my son loves," Damien finally conceded.

"Cato seems happy enough. Although I do believe it's because he's watching to see how red in the face he can make Katniss," Cinna added.

What was he doing? That didn't sound right. Not that it was very hard to make Katniss red in the face. She had never liked District 2 and I was sure that Cato wasn't that much of an exception. I turned back and noticed that she was indeed slightly red in the face. The only reason it wasn't worse was because of the makeup she was wearing. Cato looked pleased, as always. I assumed he was enjoying seeing just how similar the two of us were.

"Oh, I'm sure that's exactly what he's doing. It turns out that great minds think alike. I used to love playing that game with her," I said, laughing under my breath.

"And you were always very good at it," Gale said.

"The best. Just a hint, she turns extremely red. Almost like a tomato. If you get her angry enough she'll even start stuttering," I told them.

Gale laughed loudly and shook his head. He knew Katniss as well as I did. He knew that we were both easy enough to get riled up. "It's been a long time since I've seen her do that," Gale said.

"I wonder where she obtained those traits from?" Cinna asked.

"We take after each other," I said, laughing softly.

"The night is lovely. I do hope that you enjoy it. And please do save me a dance. I've gotten the pleasure of sharing many things with my girl. A dance is not one," Cinna said.

A soft blush flooded my face. My girl. Mr. Everdeen was the closest thing that I had ever had to a father before. I grabbed Cinna's hand and smiled when he kissed the back of it. "Just let me know when. I have a few others to speak to beforehand but I think I could use a good dance. I've almost reached my limit of speaking," I told him.

"I can understand that," Cinna said.

At these parties I was used to dancing, not talking. At one point I had thought that speaking would be better. Now I wasn't so sure. For the first time since standing here Dean spoke up. "I certainly hope you haven't reached that limit just yet," Dean said.

I raised a brow. "What does that mean?" I asked.

"Cato is very fond of you, Aspen."

"I'm rather fond of him, too."

"He also let me know that you're a good dancer for someone from District 12," Dean said.

My gaze towards Cato narrowed. I was a halfway decent dancer. It wasn't my fault that I stepped on men's feet whose hands dropped too low. "That was sweet of him," I snapped.

"Please, I'd like to share a dance with my sister-in-law. Leah is a little too young for a real dance, as is Marley."

That was almost a sad thought. He might get a chance to dance with them soon enough, but likely never in the Capitol. Not at a real dance. They wouldn't be invited back here without Cato and I together. And I knew what he meant. His sister was only seven. Or at least I was pretty sure that she was only seven. She was six when Cato had told me about her during the Games last year. Marley was barely three. She was speaking but there was no way that she could give him a real dance. Not for another few years.

"Of course. Just stay in sight. I'll come and find you soon," I told Dean, after a moment.

"Wonderful," he said happily.

I wasn't even sure if I wanted him to know me. It would only make the next few days even more painful. But I supposed that one dance with one conversation wouldn't hurt. "Well, don't expect me to ask for a dance," Aidan growled.

I smiled at the boy. He was only eleven. It didn't surprise me that he wanted nothing to do with dancing. "I didn't expect you to want to dance," I said.

"I'm not dancing with some girl that's wearing a peacock. Even if you are my brother's wife," Aidan continued.

My fingers twitched under the folds of my dress. Usually when someone insulted me like that they wound up dead. "Aidan!" Damien shouted.

Gale's body stiffened. He hated everything to do with District 2. As of right now the Hadley family was not impressing him. "Its alright. He isn't wrong," I told Damien.

And he wasn't. The dress did look a tiny bit like a peacock. "Don't be rude," Damien snapped.

"Sorry, Cinna. This design really is good for something that you didn't have much of a choice on," I told my Head Stylist.

He merely nodded and leaned over to pat me gently on the shoulder. "I'm glad that you feel that way. You'll have to wear it again tomorrow for the Interviews," Cinna said.

I barked out a laugh. "Funny," I teased.

"It's not a joke, unfortunately. A request from President Snow," Cinna said.

I let out a little groan and shook my head. They were really requiring me to wear this damn thing again? As Aidan said, I looked like a peacock. "Not to worry, when you take it off tonight I will have someone come and collect it. I'll have some alterations done to it in the meantime," Cinna said.

"Alterations?" I asked.

"You'll love them," Cinna promised.

"I trust you."

Cinna was going to do something to the dress that President Snow would not be fond of. Worked for me. "Do him a favor and take the dress off yourself," Haymitch said.

"Who else would take off the dress?" I asked dumbly.

"You're joking, right?" Haymitch asked.

"No?" I half-asked and half-said.

"I somehow doubt that Cato will be all that fond of having to take a dress like that off. Lots of buttons. Lots of little... things... to watch out for," Haymitch added, with a smirk.

The blood drained from my face as I realized stupidly what he was talking about. Of course. Aidan balked and walked away quickly without another word. His father followed a moment later. Gale's fists balled together and his jaws clenched before he stalked off, probably heading for either the bar or Katniss. Maybe both. Turning an angry glare on Haymitch I noticed that he looked utterly pleased with the turn of events. I should have expected it.

"Were you not aware that a child was there? Or my husband's father? And my best friend?" I snarled.

Like I didn't always look bad enough around them. "Oops," Haymitch teased.

"Come on, Haymitch. Would a simple congratulations really have been so difficult?" I asked the older man with a scowl.

He merely laughed and rolled his eyes at me. "Congrats, sweetheart," Haymitch said, accentuating every syllable.

I mirrored his eye-roll. "Thank you. It almost pains me to hear how sincere that really was," I said with a teasing scold to my voice.

It was obvious that Haymitch was happy for me but I knew that it wasn't in his nature to actually admit it to me. Not that I minded. Sometimes I needed a man with a hard personality like Haymitch. "Come now, children. Let's not fight. And we shouldn't be irritating the bride on her wedding night," Finnick said.

"You people irritate me every day. Why should tonight be any different?" I asked.

"That is a good point. Frown lines won't look pretty on that face. We must take care of dear Cato's bride," Finnick said, wrapping an arm over my shoulder.

He was holding a glass in his hand and he handed it to me. "Thank you," I said, draining it quickly before handing it to a passing server. The men that remained around me laughed and shook their heads. They knew that they always annoyed me. But I still loved them. "Finnick, you always are a joy to have around."

His hand wrapped around my own and he pressed a gentle kiss against my cheek. He knew that I appreciated the effort he was making to make this night slightly more comfortable. "Come on, Aspen. You've been speaking all night long. I think it's high time that we got the bride dancing!" Finnick offered.

"Really?" I asked, disappointed. I didn't want to dance.

"Yes. Come on. After all, I'm sure that the dress was made with twirling in mind," Finnick said.

He sent a little wink in Cinna's direction and I cocked my head at him. What was that supposed to mean? I never got the chance to question him before he pulled me towards the center of the dance floor. The dance with Finnick was certainly the most fun that I'd had since my kiss with Cato at the altar. Especially considering we hadn't gotten to speak to each other much since saying our vows. Just the few things that we were supposed to say and a few comments for the cameras to catch. I supposed that I shouldn't have been expecting to get to speak to him anyways.

Our dance was fast. It was one that was apparently traditional in District 4. Under my breath I'd told Finnick that I hoped one day he got to dance to it at his own wedding. To whom had been implied. The only time our dance had taken a serious turn was near the end as the music slowed down and Finnick wished us all of the luck in the world, praying that something would happen so that Cato and I could live happily ever after. My reply had been that no one in the Capitol got a happily ever after. I wasn't wrong.

After bowing and curtsying to each other Finnick gave me one last kiss on the cheek and wished me a happy wedding night before disappearing into the thick of the crowd. I wasn't alone long before Haymitch stepped in to have a dance with me. We had talked about everything during our simple dance. We had laughed about the party from a year prior. He had teased me about how awful I was going to be during the Interviews this year. I had told him that no one was less friendly than himself. He agreed. Our dance ended far faster than I would have liked and I nodded when Haymitch said that he would find me again later.

Just as promised Dean was waiting for a dance with me. Ours was slightly more formal than the other dances I'd been a part of. Dean was a good dancer and I'd discovered that he was the one who had taught Cato. I could see how. They danced extremely similarly. Of course he had played the protective older brother, asking me everything and anything he could about myself. But he had also made me feel that there was a good chance that I did indeed have a friend in District 2. His promise to me was that despite having not been born into the Hadley family or originate from District 2, I was still family.

Shocking me completely, Aidan had taken over Dean's spot a moment later. The dance hadn't quite come to an end yet and Aidan looked less than thrilled to be dancing with me. I had a feeling that Damien or Cato had told him to dance with me. It didn't matter. The boy was actually rather pleasant. I exchanged hunting tips with him and he told me stories about how Cato had helped him train. I could tell that he loved my husband. And, at my promise that I would sacrifice anything to ensure that Cato lived, I had a feeling that Aidan might have garnered a tiny bit of love for me.

Despite the fact that Aidan was only eleven, he was a tall boy. He was just a tiny bit shorter than me. And I was almost twenty. Damien took over after his son had bowed goodbye to me. He, like his son, towered over me. He was an inch or so taller than Gale. Our dance was formal and I nodded along with his words. He kept telling me all sorts of things that I was sure he thought were helping me. He was talking about ways to help me in the Games. I knew that he meant to be telling me ways to help his son. Despite Damien being a reasonably nice man, I was very happy when the dance ended.

My smile brightened even more when Gale took over Damien's spot as my partner. Gale and I shared more than one dance. I had a feeling that it was three or four. It was the most dances that I had shared with anyone that night. But I liked it a great deal. It was nice to have him with me again. It reminded me of how much I would miss him when all of this was over. It didn't matter. We were together right now. During our dances we were talking about everything. We were reminiscing on our childhood memories and laughing about all of the times that we had spent the night together, laying and watching the stars together.

Those were nights that I would miss. I had badgered Gale about asking Katniss to dance. After our second dance he had finally agreed to it. He knew that I was trying to push them together. Thankfully he seemed to have gotten rather attached to her over the past few months. He had also wished me a good night with Cato. It seemed that, after a year, he had finally come to terms with our being together. I just knew that he wished that we weren't going to end the way that we were. Until the day came that Gale saw me in a casket, he would never accept it.

We had continued to dance until a hand had finally fallen on his shoulder. It had been Cinna. Gale had gratefully let me go. I knew that he was as fond as Cinna as I was. I watched as Gale brought Katniss into a dance and smirked. She looked mortified and that only made me even happier. Cinna and I danced through a song, the two of us twirling in an old-fashioned dance. We laughed together and I smiled when he brought up how much I had changed in the past year. He seemed to think that it was all for the better.

A voice had startled me when they'd told us that they agreed. I was more than a little shocked to see that it was Beetee who had interrupted us. I smiled and accepted his offer for a dance. Beetee was not light on his feet and he didn't seem to know much more than the simplest steps. But our dance was nice. We were quiet for the most part but I did thank him for his congratulations and had accepted his offer to help me during the Games. He seemed to be very fond of me and, for whatever reason, I trusted him when he said that he wanted me to win and would help me. The way he had worded it; I hadn't lived a full life, he had.

My spirits were ten times higher than they had been that morning. But, as always, it didn't last long. To my complete displeasure Brutus had requested a dance. I hated having to dance with him but I had accepted anyways. Our dance had been brusque and the few comments that were exchanged during it were biting. I noticed that most of my friends stopped to watch us during our dance, making sure that neither one of us were going to make a stupid move towards the other.

Thankfully the dance was over as quickly as it began. I had gathered Katniss for a dance afterwards. I was sure that we looked ridiculous and I knew that she was horrified at all of the cameras that were going off during our dance but it didn't bother me. She was weak on her feet and it only made us laugh more. It was the most that I had heard either one of us laugh in a long time. Prim had come up to us after a dance and Katniss had bowed out, allowing us a dance.

The music sped up and Prim joined me in an easy line dance, the two of us laughing and smiling. She was a better dancer than I was. We spent nearly fifteen minutes dancing together before I excused myself to get a drink. Annie continued dancing with her. The dances were still going on all around me. It seemed that my joining the dance floor had meant that it was acceptable for all of the other guests to begin dancing as well. But they were mostly doing ones that I'd never seen before. It was a good thing that I had stepped out of the dance.

As I walked around the area I was congratulated by seemingly everyone at the party. Some I knew and many I didn't. Some were Sponsors that I had spoken with the year prior and others I'd never seen before. Many were just Capitol citizens. Most of the old Victors congratulated me. Some seemed sincere but others were obviously only saying it because it was expected of them. I could tell that Gloss and Cashmere were using my wedding to promote themselves. They'd barely turned away from the camera to say a congratulations. Not that it bothered me.

The last person to come and congratulate me was not one that I had been looking forward to speaking to. In fact, I had thought that she was long gone by now. I hadn't seen her in hours. Johanna Mason stepped out of the crowd, looking like she had been drinking for a while now. Which was very unsurprising. She was wearing all black, making it look like she was at a funeral, and looked happy about something. She came to stand in front of me and I nodded at her.

"Aspen... Hadley, I suppose it is now?" Johanna asked slowly.

I hadn't even bothered to think about my name. I wasn't sure. That would probably be what they would call me. "I suppose," I told her carelessly.

She merely smirked and shook her head. "I don't know if that name suits you," she purred.

I wanted to knock her teeth out. She didn't know how to be kind to me or anyone else. "What's that supposed to mean?" I asked.

"Doesn't matter. It won't be with you for long. Either you die and they'll leave you as Aspen Antaeus, the Girl Who Couldn't Stay on Fire, or he dies and you become a widow, once more Aspen Antaeus," Johanna continued.

My teeth ground together and my nails dug into my palms. "I suppose," I snarled.

"Not to worry. I see another man here who wouldn't have minded standing up at that altar tonight," Johanna said, looking back at Gale.

He had kept his eyes on me all night long. I had noticed it during my dances. No matter what he was doing his eyes were always on me. I wasn't sure if it was because he was concerned about me, nervous to be there, or if it was really because he wished that he had been standing up at the altar with me. I hated that Johanna had noticed it. I shouldn't have been surprised. She was looking for any weaknesses from me.

"What do you want Johanna? I have nothing to say to you. I would say thank you, but you haven't exactly given me anything to thank you for," I said. She hadn't even bothered to say anything about the wedding. "Anyways, enjoy the party."

She was not going to ruin my night. I barely made it two steps before I heard her call to me again. "Hey!" she shouted, not bothering to use my name. Not surprising. "Remember who your friends are here. Never forget that no one is alone here. Some of them might be hiding. Others might not be quite as friendly as you think they are."

Her words were very slow and under her breath. It was enough to surprise me. Something that she always seemed to manage to do, as much as it annoyed me. I knew that she was trying to ensure that no one else heard her. My eyebrows knitted together as I stared at her. This conversation had just taken a strange turn. She was talking about my friends. I knew my friends. The only ones that mattered.

"And are you my friend, Johanna?" I asked, unsure of where this was going.

A slow smirk spread over her face and she shook her head. "Am I your friend? You don't have any friends," Johanna said, laughing.

"I suppose that's true."

"I don't have any friends," Johanna continued.

Was that true? Maybe for her. But I did have a friend. I knew that I had friends. They were right here. Tonight. "I'm not so sure about that," I said truthfully.

There had to be other people that were friends with her. "Perhaps. But things change. Speaking of, where are your friends? I haven't seen any of them in a while," Johanna said.

"Excuse me?" I asked.

I turned back to look around the floor and noticed with a little skip of my heart that she was right. My friends were nowhere in sight. Not even Haymitch or Finnick or Cinna. "Have a nice night, Aspen. Oh, and congratulations. You make a lovely bride," Johanna said, probably knowing that she had gotten to me.

She turned on her heels and walked away, quickly heading back into the thick of the crowd. I turned on my heel, my teeth grinding together, determined to find my new husband. Or really anyone that I knew. It seemed that all of our friends from District 2 and 12 were nowhere to be found. As I headed towards the food tables to pick myself up something small, a man handed me a small sandwich-type thing. I took it and looked up at the man with a smile. The smile fell immediately when I realized who it was.

I hadn't seen him since the beginning of the night and I'd been hoping to get away without seeing him again for the rest of the night. I supposed that he'd helped me at some point or another but that didn't mean that I wanted to see him. Seneca Crane. He was wearing a deep blue suit. His shirt was white and his tie was black. No red. It was strange to see. His beard was the same way that it had always been designed and his hair was slicked back, having been grown out slightly.

"Good evening, Aspen," Seneca greeted.

"Evening, Seneca," I said.

He kissed the back of my hand gently before setting it back down at my side. "You look lovely," Seneca said.

"Thank you. It wasn't my first choice," I said blandly. "Is there something that you need?"

"I just wanted to come by and say congratulations."

"Thank you."

"I don't think anyone ever thought that they would see the day that Aspen Antaeus became Aspen Hadley," Seneca admitted.

"I agree," I told Seneca.

"Let's dance," Seneca offered.

I followed him out into the center of the dance floor. Heads were turning towards us and I made sure to keep a smile on my face. "I was sure that you would be determined to kill me before I could make it to the altar. I'm honestly shocked that I've even made it this far," I admitted to the older man.

Seneca extended his hand to me and I took it, standing with him in the center of the dance floor. The band had gone silent but with a flippant wave of Seneca's hand they started up once more. It was a slower ballad. It was one that I had never heard before. As we started swaying back and forth I noticed that the cameras were flashing. I wondered what they thought of the dance. Here I was, on my wedding night, after he had tried so hard to kill me. If only they saw us that night of the Victory Tour.

"Don't think like that. We want to see you happy. I want to see you happy," Seneca said.

"Is that so?"

"Of course. You have friends here in the Capitol. One day you might be able to see it."

Shivers ran up my spine as I realized that it almost mirrored what Johanna had told me earlier. "I somehow doubt that I have friends in the Capitol," I said.

"You do, Aspen."

"Are you my friend, Seneca?"

"We are very good friends. You just have to open your eyes," Seneca said, leaning in.

My hand was shaking slightly. I hated that everyone was treating me like I didn't have a clue as to what was going on. Although I supposed that I didn't. "Open my eyes to what?" I asked.

"Just open them."

"Am I going to die before I ever find out what you're all hiding from me?"

The two of us gave a quick twirl before straightening ourselves out. Seneca was grinning at me and I wanted to tear his eyes out. "That depends on how well you listen to me. And on how well you listen to everyone else around you," Seneca said.

"You should know by now that I have problems listening."

"I do know that." My eyes darted behind him as I looked to see anyone that was watching us. "Look at me, not them. Don't look away from me," Seneca said, making a sharp shiver shoot up my spine.

"Tell me what's going on," I demanded.

"You have friends here in the Capitol. You have friends in two Districts. Probably more, at this point. Believe it or not you have friends going into the Games with you," Seneca said.

Scoffing at him, I shook my head. "Sure I do. I know that I'm not friendless," I snapped. I was a little more likeable than people thought. "I have the Hadley's in District 2. My family and Gale's in District 12. In the Capitol is harder. Maybe you? Some of the other Mentors. Going into the Games with me? That's the hardest. I have Cato and Haymitch. Finnick too. But I'm sure that even he has the potential to turn on me. He has someone to come back to too," I told Seneca.

His laugh echoed around us and I thought about knocking his teeth out. I was so sick of being out of the loop. "Not bad, Aspen. You've gotten the obvious ones," Seneca said.

"So the not so obvious ones?" I asked.

"You have so many more. So many that you don't even know yet. But you will. I promise you that you will."

"I don't like this game. Come on, Seneca, I've already had to deal with the real Games. I'm about to have to deal with them again. Are you really going to make me play another game?"

For once his face turned deathly serious. It was something that I had never seen before. It was something that I didn't like. The Gamemakers rarely looked serious. Mostly because of what Plutarch had once said. _I'm the Head Gamemaker. Fun is my job_. Seneca's lips turned down in a scowl and I noticed that his hands tightened around my own. My hands began to shake slightly and I wanted desperately to pull away from him. But I didn't. I stayed rooted in my spot. But that didn't mean that I liked the look that was on his face right now.

"This is not a game. In fact, it's far from it. You said it once before, Aspen. These are just Games. You're right. The real war, the real fight, the real Bloodbath; it's about to begin," Seneca warned.

Goosebumps rose over my flesh and a shiver ran up over my spine. "I'll be gone by the time the real war starts," I said weakly.

My voice was cracking as I rasped out the words. "Perhaps you won't," Seneca said.

"You know that I will be," I said.

The band hit the last few notes of the song and I took a step back from Seneca, curtsying. "I somehow think that you might be more important than you think. Not just to Cato. To everyone," Seneca said.

"I mean nothing to anyone."

"You do to me. Have a nice night Mrs. Hadley," Seneca said, accentuating my married name. "Best of luck in the Interviews in two days. It should be one to remember."

Just like that Seneca gave me a short bow before stepping back into the crowd. The smirk that he always wore was planted well on his face, like the conversation that we'd just had hadn't happened at all. It amazed me the way that he could do that. Cameras began to flash around me again and I plastered on my smile. What the hell had that been about? Was he telling me that I was going to survive? There was no way that I was going to survive these Games. I wanted Cato to live. He had to live. He had people that were willing to die to make sure that he lived. He had me. So what was Seneca talking about?

It seemed that every time I spoke with him he would leave me in a stunned silence. As I accepted a few more congratulations from my own Prep Team - who spoke so fast that I couldn't make out a word - and Cato's, I walked back past Effie, who gave me a warning that I only needed to be here for about another half hour. We were already approaching midnight. As I headed towards the stairs to try and hunt down Katniss and Gale, or really anyone that I knew, a hand stuck itself out in front of me.

I jumped back but the man who had stopped me merely smiled with an apologetic glance. I nodded at him softly and went to step around him. It was Head Gamemaker, Plutarch Heavensbee. I wasn't sure that I wanted to see him this close to the Games. Or at my wedding. Not after the very foolish thing that I had done at my private training session. It wasn't such a smart thing for me to have done. But I just couldn't help myself.

"Good evening, Aspen," Plutarch greeted.

"Good evening, Plutarch."

"You make a beautiful bride," Plutarch said.

It was the first time that I had realized that he didn't have a Capitol accent. He sounded more like someone from the Districts than Cinna did. "Thank you," I told Plutarch softly.

His hand went out to me and I knew that it was his way of asking me for a dance. I nodded and grabbed his arm, letting him lead me into the throng of dancers. He wasn't much of a dancer. He wasn't sure footed and he wasn't sure of all of the moves. But it didn't bother me. As strange as it was, it made him seem slightly more human to me. Mostly because all of the rest of the people in the Capitol knew the dances by heart. He reminded me of someone - albeit much more cruel - from the Districts.

"You've become a better dancer since we last met," Plutarch said with a smile.

"So have you," I quipped back.

A grin spread over his face as he twirled us towards the edge of the dancers. His voice had dropped drastically from its normal boom and I knew that it meant that he was going to say something not meant for anyone else to hear. Not that I minded. I kind of liked the silence. It was nice to feel like, for once, I didn't have to speak to anyone. I liked the feeling of being alone - for the first time in a long time. I supposed that I had been expecting it on some level, too.

"Always did have a sharp tongue," Plutarch said.

"Just observant," I commented.

"I wonder if your brain is as well trained as your tongue is?" Plutarch asked.

"We'll have to see," I said lowly.

"Tell me, what do you see?" Plutarch asked.

This was a battle of wits. What Plutarch lacked in physical stature he made up for with mental. He was stronger than anyone else in that department. "I see people desperately holding onto their place in the world. I see a power struggle. I see a system that thought that it was incorruptible crumbling at its core. I see people ready to fight. I see an army trying to stop it. Every day I see more and more people coming onto each side. But each day I also see the fight to maintain peace grow weaker and weaker. It won't last long. The system is falling. Two people are at the center," I told Plutarch.

It seemed that he was happy with my answers. "You are very observant for a nineteen-year-old girl brought up in the poorest District," Plutarch said.

"Thank you. I needed to have something to my benefit," I said.

"You have many things to your benefit. But you are so right. Everyone here can see things changing."

"So they are changing?"

"Of course. They all want things to stay the same. But they won't."

"You honestly think that things will change?"

"Of course. You saw to that, didn't you?" Plutarch asked.

"I did," I snarled.

"They don't see their world collapsing around them. They don't see the army forming around them."

"Army," I interrupted.

"Your friends, I mean. And I still think that the two people in the center don't see just how far this whole game extends," Plutarch said, giving me a nasty smile.

My brows knitted together. I knew that if I was in a battle of wits against Plutarch I was going to lose. "It doesn't seem like you're so willing to stop it," I commented.

"There would be no point," Plutarch said.

"You're a Head Gamemaker. Shouldn't you want to stop the people that seek to corrupt your favorite game?" I asked stupidly.

Just as I had been expecting, Plutarch laughed. He shook his head as he spun us again. "Now you see? There's the nineteen-year-old in you," Plutarch said.

"What's that supposed to mean?" I asked, clenching my jaws together.

Everyone seemed hell-bent to make me feel stupid. "Think harder, Aspen. I love the game. That's why I became to Head Gamemaker. But I intend for this year to be different. I want a bigger game. I want it to transcend all of history," Plutarch said.

"It's a Quarter Quell. Of course it will go down in history," I said.

"No. That's not what I meant. Things are going to be different this year. And they start with you," Plutarch continued.

"With me?" I repeated.

"Of course," Plutarch said.

He spun us again as the music began to die down. Our dance was coming to an end and I was more confused than I had ever been. I wasn't sure what the hell was going on. "I don't understand," I admitted softly.

He smiled and shook his head. "No. You aren't supposed to. Not yet. Sometimes the biggest players of the game are the ones that don't even understand the game," Plutarch said.

"How does that make sense?"

"Because they're only pawns. For now."

"And will that change?"

"At some point," Plutarch said. My head was spinning and it was not from the few glasses of champagne I'd had. "I look forward to seeing how you play the game, Miss Antaeus."

"It's Hadley now," I snapped softly.

The band quieted down as the song ended and I took a step back from Plutarch. "See? You're already one step ahead of the game," Plutarch whispered.

My eyes narrowed and I shook my head. "What does that mean?" I asked.

"I look forward to the Interviews tomorrow. But, as I said, please do enjoy these Games. I do look forward to seeing what you do with them."

"I'll make them something to remember," I snarled.

"Wonderful. I don't think you made a mess out of the last ones. I think that you made them better. I don't mind a Tribute correcting the mistakes of the Gamemakers. I don't mind seeing how they would alter the Games. Please feel free to alter mine."

"Excuse me?"

"Alter them. Play them the way that you want. It was the way that I designed it," Plutarch said.

My head was still spinning and I nodded. "I'll see to it that I do," I said softly.

He smiled at me and I let myself fall into a low curtsy. My legs were shaking and my lips were trembling as I pressed on a fake smile. "And I'll look forward to it," Plutarch said.

"Thank you for the dance, Plutarch. I'll make you proud of these Games," I told him.

My eyes were narrowed as he turned back to me with a grin. "You already have," he said.

And, with that, he turned and stalked off into the mansion. I assumed that he was heading into the library. Haymitch had told me once before that it was where he spent most of his time that wasn't dedicated to the Games. I watched him walk off for a moment before turning on my heels. I wobbled for a second before heading straight to the bar. Two glasses of champagne went down easily. A third followed only about three minutes after my dance with Plutarch had ended.

The drink went down easily after my strange dance with Plutarch Heavensbee. I hated thinking that someone could outwit me. I liked to think that I was the smartest person in Panem, but I knew that it wasn't even close to being the truth. I knew that almost everyone could outwit me. At least, here in the Capitol. Lying and deceiving were things that they were bred for. But most weren't that good at it. Except for Plutarch. He was damned good at it. Especially considering he had made me feel like a fool. I wasn't sure what he was trying to get at me. I wasn't sure if he was trying to get me to understand something or if he was trying to throw me off before the Interview.

Either way I knew what had to be done. I had to forget about our conversation and just remember what I had come here to do. Get Cato to win the Games. He was going to live. Not me. My third glass of champagne went down quickly and I felt my legs quivering slightly. With my nerves and empty stomach the alcohol had gotten to me much faster than it normally did. The music stilled from behind me and I turned back. I knew that there was only one reason that the music would have gone down like that. It was the one person that I had been praying to not see or speak to tonight.

"President Snow," I greeted, with a strong tone.

It was the first time that I had really seen him up-close today. I had been hoping that on my wedding day he would stay far away from me. He was dressed in the same black and white suit he always wore. Although I did notice that his tie was different today. It was blood red. For the strangest reason it bothered me. President Snow reached out for my hand and I let him left it to his lips. The kiss he pressed against it sent horrible shivers through my spine.

"Aspen. It is always a pleasure to see you," President Snow greeted.

"You as well," I said.

"And on your wedding night; I never thought that I would get to see the day," President Snow said.

I nodded slowly. "Neither did I," I told him.

My voice was relatively void of emotion and President Snow smiled at me. I knew that he was here, hoping to get a rise out of me. But he wouldn't get one. He never would. Not after he had gotten enough out of me over the past few months. President Snow took a quick circle around me, probably looking at the dress. He was giving me an approving nod and I found myself grateful that at least something was going right. At least he liked the dress.

"The dress is beautiful," President Snow said.

"You have a good eye," I said lowly.

"The people chose it. I just made a few alterations. I can only imagine that every bride will want a dress just like this."

"I hear my braid became quite popular with young girls after the Games."

"It did. My granddaughter still wears her hair that way. As do all of the girls in school. They will all want to live up to the Girl on Fire," President Snow said.

The President waved his hand towards the band and a slow melody began to play. My stomach churned. He was angry with his family. Because they obviously supported my actions. And that must have infuriated him. Not that I cared. Although it was the first time that I'd ever heard him refer to his family. Like a proper gentlemen, despite the fact that he was anything but, President Snow gave me his hand and I took it. Together we walked into the center of the dance floor. For a moment everyone moved off as the two of us started a formal dance.

"Do you think they'll ever be able to live up to me?" I finally asked.

President Snow grinned and turned us again. We were doing a dance called the waltz. Cinna had once told me that it was his favorite dance. "I don't think that anyone will be able to perform the way that you have," President Snow finally said.

"I'll take that as a compliment," I said lowly.

"I don't think in all of my years in the Games have I seen someone as... odd as you. As you know, I've been around for all of the Games. I don't remember them all. Some stand out more than others. But they will all fade over time. And they'll become as nameless as those they won against."

My jaw set. "Twenty-three dead and forgotten kids. Even the Victors eventually become forgotten," I commented.

"Of course. That's the point. Even your husband will one day become another Victor with a name only remembered in books."

"There will be people that don't forget him."

"I highly doubt that. Even his own family will one day forget him. But you... Everyone will always know Aspen Antaeus. The Girl on Fire."

"You have no idea what it means to me that you think so highly of me. I know that you've told me before that you wanted to be friends. For the longest time I didn't think that it was possible. I didn't think that there was a chance that the two of us could be friends. I think I've finally understood what it means to be friends with you," I told him.

The President's brows raised as other couples began to join us on the dance floor. They all kept a good distance away. "Do tell me what you think that it means," President Snow said.

As we spun I took in another deep breath. This might be the last chance that I ever got to tell the President what I really thought of him. I would ensure that I told him exactly what I thought. "Being friends with you means that I get everything that I could ever want," I said slowly.

"Do explain," he prompted.

"This wedding? It's incredible. I can't imagine that you spared any expense on it."

"No. It was almost more expensive than the Games themselves."

"How wonderful of you all."

"Anything for the darling Victors," President Snow half-sneered.

"All of the costumes and custom wardrobes that were designed for me? More than enough to clothe an entire District. The food? It's enough to share with all of my home for a year and we would have enough leftovers to still feed the Capitol. Everything that you've done for me is incredible."

"You speak as if you think that you might owe me something for everything that I've done to keep you comfortable," Snow said with a smirk.

I shook my head at him. "No. I think you're missing the point entirely," I said.

"So tell me the point," President Snow said.

"I don't think that I owe you anything. I think that everything you've done for me is trying to make up for everything that you've done to me," I sneered.

"And what have I done to you?"

"You stole my parents from me. My father before I was born. My mother before I could remember her. You stole me from my family. You stole me from myself. You stole friends from me. You may have given me a husband but I've found myself, and him, in your grasp once more. And one way or another I'll lose him. But not on your terms. On mine," I told him.

President Snow was lighter on his feet than I could have credited him for. But unlike the last time that we danced together, I was good at maneuvering, too. "On your terms? You're in an odd place to be trying to make terms," President Snow said.

"You'd be amazed how powerful that I might be," I said.

"I doubt that. I am no fool. I know just how far your power extends. It's why you find yourself back in the arena."

"I know that. If I'm going to die though, it will be on my terms," I sneered.

"We shall see. No matter. I do enjoy your company. I will miss it while you're in the Games."

"I'm sure you will," I said.

We spun together in silence for a moment before he spoke again. "Look around for me. Tell me what you see in these people," President Snow prompted.

It was just like what I had done with Plutarch. But this time it was different. The world seemed almost different when I danced with Snow. I didn't see a crumbling government. I saw happy and healthy citizens. "I see people that are laughing and enjoying their time together. People that want to celebrate anything they can. People that are able to celebrate life because they don't have to fear for it," I told him softly.

"Exactly," President Snow said with a grin.

"What was the point of this game?" I asked.

"Now I would hate for these people to have that taken away from them. Wouldn't you?" President Snow asked.

Knowing that Cato's fate was still in his hands I nodded. "Of course," I muttered.

"I thought so. We've all fought so hard for what we have. The two of us more than anyone else. Don't you think?"

"Yes. We've both fought very hard."

"Come, dear," President Snow said, as the music came to an end.

The people standing around bowed and curtsied to us. I wasn't sure whether or not I should give one back but considering President Snow was still walking - and clearly expecting me to go with him - I decided not to respond. There was also a good chance that I would collapse if I curtsied. I did give a few nods and thanks as I walked though. We walked together and as we got closer to Snow's mansion, I saw him motion to Cato. It was clear that everything that Snow did wasn't a question. So Cato walked away from a man who I was pretty sure was a part of his Prep Team and headed over to us.

Cato caught my hand and walked with us as we headed into Snow's house and up the stairs. He gave me a small kiss on the lips, holding my chin softly. I could hear the hoots and howls from the audience. They really did love us. We came up on the balcony a moment later and I watched as Snow silenced the crowd with the wave of his hand. From up here I saw that there must have been at least a thousand people in the yard. It made me sick to think about. All of this for two people who didn't really even want it.

"Tonight we celebrate love triumphing over all. Two children that barely knew each other sacrificed their lives to ensure that the other lived. They truly showed us what it meant to love someone unconditionally. Though we haven't seen their story long, it will be one that lives on throughout all of time. Aspen and Cato, thank you for letting us love alongside you. We love you both, just the way that you love each other." I nearly snorted at that comment but managed to contain myself with a smile. "And in the hard times coming we will remember tonight and the way that you both shone. To Aspen and Cato Hadley!" President Snow cheered.

It surprised me slightly. He was just as good of an actor as the two of us were. We were all acting and pretending to be much happier than we really were. In response to everything, President Snow raised his glass of red wine. Cato and I were both handed two glasses of champagne from some waiters and we took them, toasting to the people back on the ground that were toasting back to us.

"To Aspen and Cato Hadley!" the audience all cheered together.

We both smiled before clinking our glasses together and taking a drink. Cato slipped an arm around my waist and I smiled up at him. There were loud chants from the entire crowd begging us to kiss and cameras were flashing. I knew that there were a number of people who wanted to see the kiss and Haymitch's look told me that I had damn well better do it. So I leaned over and gave Cato a slightly embarrassing and lingering kiss. Finally President Snow came to stand next to us. Despite how small he was compared to Cato, I knew that he made the other man feel tiny.

"Please enjoy a dance together before you depart for the evening," President Snow said.

"I would be thrilled," Cato said, giving me an honest smile.

"We look forward to seeing you both tomorrow night at the Interviews," President Snow said, motioning out into the yard again.

Cato grabbed my hand and led me down the stairs. Once we hit the yard I noticed that no one else was coming onto the floor. I assumed that they were going to let us have this dance to ourselves. Which was perfect for me. I wanted to have the floor to ourselves for just a little while. Just so that the two of us could be happy. Pretend that we were in some world where it was just the two of us. Two happy kids who were completely in love. Unconditionally and permanently.

"I love you," Cato whispered.

"I love you, too," I whispered back. "You really do look nice."

"You look better," Cato said.

"Honestly?"

"Well I like what's underneath the dress much better," Cato hissed, leaning into my ear.

"Stop," I said, laughing and swatting him on the chest. "Save it for back at the penthouse."

"I intend to."

The two of us walked into the center of the yard and I smiled as Cato wrapped an arm around me. His grip was tight as we spun around the dance floor, not really following the dance pattern. We were having fun just dancing together and swaying back and forth as husband and wife. Apparently we weren't that pathetic since no one was laughing at us. They were all cheering and happily cooing at the two of us. More than once Cato leaned over and kissed me, the lights and flashes of the cameras flickering around us. As this was likely the only dance we would enjoy together as a married couple, they would get as many as they could.

As we spun together I noticed our friends having finally emerged back into the dance floor. They looked slightly off-put about something but they were all smiling at us. Even Gale gave me a nod with a small smile as Cato and I passed by them again. Prim gave me a little wave that I responded to with a wink. People were laughing and clapping at us, each one of them throwing what I thought were grains of rice. Cinna had told me that it was traditional to do it for the bride and groom. I thought it was a little silly but Prim seemed to be enjoying tossing it at us.

The dance ended after what seemed like hours and we both turned back to see the crowd all cheering at us. Cato and I took a step away from each other for a moment. We clasped hands and took turns greeting the audience. Cato allowed me to give a curtsy first before he gave them a bow. Which I knew was my indication to give another curtsy. We gave a very staged kiss as Cato tilted me into a dip and I smiled. After a few seconds a hand laid itself on my shoulder and I turned back to see that Haymitch was standing behind us.

"Head back to the penthouse you two," Haymitch said.

"We don't need to do anything else?" I asked.

"I thought we'd be here all night," Cato put in.

"Don't worry about it. The rest of us will stay a tad longer and speak to the press for you. Enjoy your night together. We'll be back in a few hours," Haymitch explained.

"What about everyone else?" I asked.

"There are guest quarters on the other side of the Games Center where your friends and family will be staying. They'll come and get ready with you both tomorrow before the Interviews. They'll be leaving immediately after," Haymitch told us.

Once more both Cato and I nodded. "Thanks, Haymitch. See you later," I told him.

As we turned to walk Cato wrapped an arm around my lower back and brought me in close to him. Cameras started to flash again as Cato leaned over and pressed a small kiss against my mouth. I grinned into it as we walked, trying very hard not to fall over in the heels. As we were headed towards the car I waved to our friends and families who were standing off to the side of the staircase. They were a little too far to actually go and see them.

"See you tomorrow, guys," I called to them.

They all dashed over to see us. "Have fun tonight," Carrie said, waggling her eyebrows. My face flushed as I awkwardly stammered. "I'm just teasing you, Aspen. Seriously. Have a good night."

"Thanks. Enjoy the Capitol while you can," I said.

"It's quite something. Enjoy the first night of wedded bliss," Dean said, walking up to me.

"Make him work for it," Julie whispered in my ear, making me blush madly.

"We're being serious," Skye added.

"I will," I said bashfully.

"Goodnight, sweetheart. Enjoy your night together. We're very happy to see you both together," Alana told me.

"Thanks, Alana. Enjoy all the Capitol has to offer," I said.

"It's very hard," Damien commented.

"I understand that," I said.

"Say goodnight," Alana snapped at Aidan.

"Night," the young boy said gruffly.

Cato and I laughed. "Goodnight, Aidan. Hey! The hot chocolate and sugar cookies together are great. Press a button in your room and they'll show up," I advised.

Something in Aidan's eyes lit up. "Thanks!" he chirped excitedly.

Gale wrapped an arm over my shoulder. "Goodnight, Tiger. Take care. And don't..." Gale trailed off.

"Gale," I moaned. "Don't make this more awkward than it has to be."

"Just be careful, alright?" Gale asked.

"Always. Love you, Gale."

"Love you too, Tiger."

"You look like an ass. But, congratulations, I suppose," Katniss said.

"That was endearing. Thanks, Cat," I laughed, pulling her into a hug.

"See you tomorrow," Katniss said.

"See you!"

"You look really pretty Aspen. Have a great night. I can't wait to see the Interviews tomorrow," Prim said happily.

"Thanks, sweetie. Thanks for being here tonight. You did wonderfully," I said brightly.

"Thanks," Prim said bashfully.

"Congratulations, darling. Your mother and father would be proud. And... I'm proud," Ms. Everdeen said, giving me a sad smile.

"Thanks, Mom. I hope I'll keep making you proud," I said.

"You always will," Ms. Everdeen said.

With that Haymitch started shoving me away from the rest of the crowd. Just because we were taking too long. I gave Effie, the Prep Team, Cinna, Finnick, and a few other people hugs as it was time to go. It was really tough to manage to pry myself away from Finnick. He made me laugh and was always one of the nicest people that I had ever met. I hugged a few of the other Victors and thanked some other people - including the Gamemakers - and even exchanged a kiss on the cheek with Seneca Crane.

Finally it was time for me to be able to leave with Cato. As we stood at the top of the staircase Cato wrapped me in a kiss that was heavily photographed. We stood together for a moment before parting and waving to the crowd. We headed straight for the car and Cato allowed me to climb in first. The dress was so large that I practically had to smash myself into the corner just to leave Cato barely enough room to get in. Once we finally took our seats and closed the door I let out a deep breath.

"That's the first real breath I think I've taken all night," I told Cato jokingly.

I watched with a little laugh as Cato pushed some of the fabric away from himself. He was trying to move as close to me as he could but the dress was too big. We had to sit almost on opposite ends of the car. "Me too. There were so many people," Cato groaned.

"How big would a wedding in District 2 have been?" I asked curiously.

"Large. Because of the connections that we make at the Academy and a lot of people have big families. But nowhere near as extreme as this. More simple. Backyard with a lot of food and dancing," Cato said.

There was something longing in his voice. "In District 12 I would have rented a dress that hundreds of girls had worn before me, gone down to the Justice Building to try and get the license, and then try and have a nice dinner with friends and family. Dance around the fire," I explained.

"That sounds nice," Cato said.

"So does District 2."

"At least we had lots of food here."

"I barely had time to eat anything. But it all looked so good."

"There was something that I saw that looked better," Cato said, leaning into me.

"Are you kidding? This thing?" I asked.

"You look beautiful, but that dress... It's a little big," Cato said slowly.

Obviously he was trying very hard not to offend me. Not that it really mattered. I knew that he was trying to be as nice about it as possible. But I wasn't the one that had designed this and neither had Cinna. A little laugh escaped my lips and I shook my head at him. He was trying to not insult either myself or Cinna. Neither one of those would go over well with me. But it wasn't them. It was the people of the Capitol and Snow. Both of whom I hated.

"I know. It's absolutely terrible. Cinna told me that President Snow designed it," I told him.

Cato nodded and let out a breath, clearly glad that he hadn't insulted my friend. "I don't remember seeing it in the photo shoot," Cato said.

"It's the bones of a dress that I wore. Snow had some alterations done. And, let's be honest. It was going so fast that we could barely see which dress was which," I explained.

"Well it's not the dress that I like," Cato said.

"Let me guess. What's underneath?" I teased.

"The person in it," Cato said sweetly.

"You're lying because you want to get me out of it," I snapped.

"Pretty much," Cato said.

My jaw dropped and I shoved him away from me. He laughed and grabbed me back. "I'm just kidding, Aspen. I'm just kidding. You look really nice and I love you more than I would ever love the dress or anything underneath it," Cato said. "Although that's not a half-bad thing either."

We both laughed softly. "Apparently Snow wants me to wear it to the Interviews tomorrow," I groaned.

"Really?"

"To make the other Tributes hate me, I'm sure. Cinna said that he was going to make some alterations to it before then. I can't imagine what he means but it has to be better than this thing," I said, messing some of the fabric up.

Cato laughed softly and nodded. "Yeah, Dad told me that Aidan mentioned that you looked like a peacock," Cato said.

I laughed loudly and shook my head. "I know. It's alright. It made me laugh," I said.

It wasn't like I didn't know about that. And it hadn't bothered me. He was right. I did kind of look like a peacock, especially with the feather-like attachments. "I'm sorry about him. He gets that from me," Cato explained.

"Why does that not surprise me?" I asked.

Cato snorted as my eyes narrowed at him. Aidan was the spitting image of Cato. If there was a larger age gap you would think that they were father and son. "You didn't assume that," Cato snapped.

"You know, I did figure that. Did you happen to see where our friends and family went earlier tonight?" I asked after a beat.

I wanted to know if it was just me that hadn't seen them. Or if they really had been gone. "What do you mean?" Cato asked.

"There was almost a half an hour that I couldn't find anyone," I added.

Cato's eyebrow rose. Apparently I wasn't the only one that hadn't seen them. "I was wondering if it was just me that realized it," Cato said mostly to himself.

"Yeah. They just vanished," I said.

Why had they all disappeared? "They all disappeared near the end of the party and didn't come back until your dance with President Snow. I asked them where they went and they told me that they were just looking around the mansion," Cato explained.

I was sure that it was a lie. "Bullshit," I muttered.

With Cato and me in the shark tank I felt that they would have been more than likely to watch us carefully rather than explore. "I know," Cato said, looking annoyed.

"But I suppose I have no room to say anything. If I'd never been before I'd want to wander around, too," I told him.

"It is kind of fascinating here, as much as I hate to admit it," Cato said.

Finally the car came to a stop. Cato got out first and held out a hand to help me out of the car. We thanked the driver before being escorted back into the building by a number of Peacekeepers. They were attempting to keep away the hundreds of photographers that were all trying to get a picture of the newly-weds, which really did annoy me. Mostly because they knew what was going to happen. With a few nods from Peacekeepers we walked into the elevator and I hit the button for the penthouse.

"Cato?" I called as the doors closed.

"What?" Cato asked, looking at me.

"Are you happy?" I asked, blushing softly.

Cato seemed to be a little taken aback as he nodded. "Aspen, I'll always be happy with you. I don't care if we're only together for another two days. We could die in the next ten minutes. The only thing that matters to me is that I got to meet you. Even for a moment. You've shown me that there's something more to life than the Games and being a Victor. I would give it all up. I'd give it all up in a heartbeat if I could give you your normal life back. If it meant that you wouldn't have to be here. I'm sorry that you met me. I'm sorry that it led to this," Cato said.

"Don't be sorry. Never be sorry. I did this," I said.

"No, you didn't. I should have left you alone. I should have let you kill me."

"I couldn't have. No matter how many times I said that I could."

"Neither could I. Never think for a moment that I'm not happy with you. I'm happier than I've ever been," Cato said softly.

As the elevator continued to ascend the floors I smiled and caught Cato's hands between mine. "I don't care if it means that I'm back here. I don't care if it means that I die in a few days. If it means that I got to know you, even for a year, I'd do it all a million times again," I told him honestly.

It was the truth. I would come to the Capitol and risk my life time after time for the rest of my life as long as it meant that I had met Cato. He grinned at me and moved forward, pressing me towards the doors of the elevator. I smiled as he pressed me back into the doors and dropped down over me. His lips slowly attached themselves to mine and I grinned as his hands ran over the top of my bare back, making me shiver slightly.

"I love you Aspen..." Cato trailed off.

He didn't know what last name to call me. The last name that had always been mine or his own. The name that I would typically take. After a moment's deliberation I nodded at him and smiled. "You can say Hadley," I said.

"Really?" Cato asked.

"Really. You might not get a chance to say it for long," I muttered.

There was a chance that I might only hear it for another two days. Cato smiled at me and kissed my temple. "I love you, Aspen Hadley," Cato said softly.

"And I love you, too, Cato Hadley," I whispered.

The two of us met in a kiss but before long the doors of the elevator slid open. He kissed me again quickly before we were able to walk out. "What now?" Cato asked.

"Come here," I muttered.

There was one thing that I wanted to right now. Only one thing. So I grabbed Cato and pulled him with me down the hallway. He laughed and stumbled after me. I only turned back for a moment to ensure that he was following me into my room. We could have gone to his own floor but I was sure that he wanted to make me comfortable. As the door slid shut behind me I turned away from him and motioned to the back of my dress. I would never be able to get this damned thing off by myself. I hadn't even been able to get it on by myself.

"Can you help me out of this?" I asked Cato.

"Of course. Pull your hair back," Cato said.

So I grabbed my hair in my hands and pulled it off of my back so that he could start working. It was a pain in the ass to undo everything. Cato walked over and I felt his hands flitting slowly over the buttons. They worked their way down slowly and I smiled to myself as his hands would occasionally brush over my back and my arms. Slowly the dress started loosening around my body. More than once he brushed over my stomach and I smiled. Most of the buttons were opened when Cato spoke again.

"I'll be careful," Cato said.

"It's okay. You're doing a good job so far."

"I'd hate to see what Cinna does to me if I ruined his creation," Cato said.

"He would actually kill you," I said.

"I don't doubt that."

"I'd like you alive for a while longer."

"Me, too. Don't worry, I'm only planning on threatening you with your death a few times these Games," Cato said.

"Oh. That's reassuring," I teased.

We both laughed softly, knowing that Cato was lying to me. He wouldn't threaten to kill me. Unless it was a joke, that is. And he would likely joke with me about it more than once. But we were both serious about him not ruining the dress. Cinna loved his creations. Even this one. Especially if he was planning on doing something with it for the Interviews. The dress fell open and I kicked it gently towards the door, knowing that an Avox would come and retrieve it in the night. Darius, Clio, or Lavinia... Cato grabbed my waist and without another word slammed his mouth onto mine.

It was enough to keep me from thinking about the new Axoxes. Which was what I wanted. I didn't want to be thinking about the awful things that had happened to people who had only tried to help me and people that I hadn't bothered to think about helping. I let out a little surprised squeak at Cato's sudden movement but it quickly turned into a laugh of pleasure. Cato grinned and picked me up so that he was holding me underneath my thighs. I smiled into the kiss and Cato backed away from my torso for a moment.

It was just enough time for me to untie his tie and slip it off over his neck. His jacket came off next and I tossed it across the room. Cato helped me get the buttons on his shirt undone and we easily tossed it onto the floor. If this was going to be one of the last nights that I got with Cato I was going to enjoy myself. We laughed as I dropped my hands to the button on his pants and he kicked them off. Cato gave me no time to recover as he pulled me off of himself and dropped me onto the bed. I laughed as he climbed on top of me. We didn't fall asleep until late that night, enjoying our first night together as husband and wife.

 **A/N:** Here's another fully edited chapter. **Let me know what you think!** Until next time -A

 **Guest: Thank you! Sorry this took so horribly long!**

 **the Oracle of Akemi: I'm glad that it didn't disappoint and I hope you liked the wedding chapter! Snow is always up to something. Not for blackmail but you're on the right track!**

 **random person: I'm sorry this update took so pathetically long!**

 **theoriginalsrizzlesouat1D: Sorry about how long the update took! I hope this was worth the wait!**

 **Guest: Wow I like that you've heard good things about it. I hope you enjoy it! And thank you, I was just fine.**

 **Divergent Princess: I'm sorry this took so long but I hope you enjoyed it! And thank you!**

 **Guest: I know I've taken so long for this update and I'm so sorry about it. I hope that the wait was worth it. Thanks! Enjoy this update!**


	14. Chapter 14

Effie's horrifically startling voice called through the walls in the morning. "Aspen! Cato! Are you two asleep?" she shouted.

Both Cato and I gave a small jump. We had been dead asleep and I'd been having the beginnings of a nasty nightmare that Cato would have been forced to pull me out of. We had been back in the Games and I had been trying so hard to keep Cato safe. But a bunch of flying mutts had swooped down and ripped him limb from limb. I groaned as Cato accidentally knocked my head off of his chest. I drove my head under the pillows and let out a little moan. Cato laughed and grabbed my pillow, tossing it across the room.

"Well, I was," I mumbled into the mattress.

Cato's rumbling laughter shook the bed. "You couldn't have thought that you'd actually get a nice night's sleep," Cato teased.

"Silly me for thinking that I would," I shot back. "I had my last good night's sleep a long time ago."

"Me too," Cato admitted.

"When was it?"

"The night before the first Reaping."

"You mean you didn't get a good night's sleep before going into the Games? I would have thought that you were sleeping like a baby," I teased.

"No. I did sleep a little bit. But I was always thinking about what was happening with the Games and, as time started to progress, I had things to keep me awake," Cato said.

"And that is?" I asked.

"I started to fall in love with the female Tribute from District 12," Cato admitted.

"I kept you awake?" I asked.

"The thought of you. The knowledge that someone would have to kill you. And, since I knew that you were strong, I knew that it would be me. You were the first person that really bothered me. Thinking about your death."

No part of me had known that I was what kept him awake. But I was glad to hear that. "You never told me that," I said softly.

"Didn't know how."

"I used to dream about you before the Games," I admitted.

Instead of giving me a teasing look like I had expected, he was scowling. "You dreamed that I was hurting you, didn't you?" Cato asked.

For a moment I hesitated. Because he was right. "Yes. For a while. Until that night in the cave. The first night after the attack from the wolf mutt. That was the first time that I had a different dream about you. And every night after that. My dreams turned from you killing me, to you just being with me. And they never went back. Dreams of you kept me from having nightmares," I admitted.

"What about now?" Cato asked.

"The nightmares are worse when you're not around. I even have them when you're around. But they're better. They're always better when you're here," I said.

"I'll always be here," Cato said softly.

It was enough to make me smile. He would always be here. Because I was going to let him live and he would always be around. Cato pulled me into him and exchanged a long and lingering kiss. Just a few minutes later Effie came back to shout at us to get ready. As we pulled away I realized that Cato was on his side, staring at me. The sheets were pulled around us and I blushed softly. It didn't matter how many mornings or night we spent together. I would always be embarrassed when he saw me like this.

"Good morning, by the way," Cato said.

He pushed the ruffled hair back from my eyes and kissed me softly. "Good morning, husband."

It was the first time that I had ever been able to say something like that. Something that I had never thought that I would get to say to him. Or to anyone. But here we were. Husband and wife. Not for long, but for a while. Cato grinned sidelong at me and twisted the ring on my finger - the only clothing on my body - around. After a moment I glanced up at him. His eyes were locked onto the ring with a strange emotion flitting through them.

"Are you okay?" I asked.

"Just starting to count down the days until the Games. In the meantime, I'll enjoy being in bed with my _wife_ ," Cato teased.

"Do you ever wonder how many more times we'll be able to say things like that to each other?" I asked.

Cato's hands tensed against mine and he stopped twirling the ring around. Cato's eyes had hardened. "Don't say that," Cato snapped.

Glancing up at him I leaned over to press a kiss to the bottom of his chin. He turned into me and pressed us into the bed, myself on the bottom. "I'm sorry," I mumbled.

"I know. I didn't mean to snap."

"I know. But it's the truth, Cato. We're running out of time."

"We're not out of time yet."

"I know, but it's running short. The Games start two mornings from now. You and I both know that Snow wants them over with as fast as he can. He wants to be rid of me first," I said honestly.

And it was the truth. The one person that President Snow wanted dead more than anything else was me. He would have rather let anyone else live, as long as it meant that I was gone. I was the one that had made his Games look like a joke, I was the one who was the reason for these Games, and I was the reason that people wanted these Games cancelled. Everything that Snow had worked so hard for, for nearly eighty years, was coming apart at the seams. Just because I had handed Cato a knife.

Cato grabbed my hand and rolled so that I was now lying slightly on top of him. "I don't care what he wants," Cato snarled.

I smiled and pushed his long hair back behind his ears. "I know. I don't care either," I whispered.

"I want you to make it out of the Games."

"And I want you to make it out."

"I want you to have a real life after this. You deserve it," Cato said.

My eyes narrowed at him and I shook my head. "Does that mean that you don't?" I asked.

Cato stared at me for a moment before shaking his head. "It means that I don't care what you do, I don't care what President Snow does, I don't care what anyone does. You're the one that's making it out of there," Cato said determinedly.

I wanted to scream at him and tell him that I was already doing so much to ensure that he was the one that lived. But I should have known. He was just as determined as me to make it out of there. "Why? Why are you so determined that it should be me?" I asked harshly.

"Because it should be, Aspen. I need you alive. I love you."

"And I don't love you any less. Cato... I can't live knowing that you're dead."

"You'll manage," Cato said.

"I can't."

"You will. I know that you can. You have people that will help you move on."

"So do you," I snapped. "Julie and Skye. They love you. They'll be good for you. A life with them would be good."

"You're telling me that you want me to marry them?" Cato asked.

"Yes."

"Aspen -"

"It's not an option, Cato. I want you to be with them one day. They're so good for you. They've never hurt you. They never will. You think that you've been so awful to me. Look at how awful I've been to you. You were falling in love with me and I hurt you over and over again. I slapped you more than once, dropped a nest of Tracker Jackers on you, and thought about killing you - how easy it would be," I admitted.

"So what? You wanted to live. Being in love with me meant that you couldn't live. I did some horrible things to you, too, Aspen. We've done horrible things to each other. But we've also done more for each other than anyone else," Cato said.

"Yeah. I suppose that's true."

"I don't want to have to live without you," Cato added softly.

It was meant as a bit of honesty. But that didn't change the fact that it sounded selfish. "What about me? Do you think that I want to live without you?" I asked.

"No."

The two of us stared at each other for a while. We couldn't figure out what else we were supposed to say. I knew that neither one of us wanted to admit that we were both trying to save the other. Finally Cato pushed himself towards me. Whether it was from anger, heartbreak, or maybe genuine love, Cato grabbed my hips and pinned me underneath him. I wanted to say something to him but he never gave me the chance. He pressed his lips roughly against mine and locked me in his grip.

There was no way that we were planning on separating ourselves from each other at any point soon. Cato's arms wound underneath me and started to dig into my back. The only time that pain didn't scare me - remind me of my time in the arena - was when I was with him. When he showed me that he was still the strong Career. When he showed me just how strong he was and just how tiny I was. But I liked it. I liked that for, just a while, I was feeling like I could be weak with him.

We ended up staying together for a long time. From time to time Cato would break the kiss and lean forward into my ear to whisper something. Something that was either a proclamation of his love or something that would make my face burn with embarrassment. But I liked it. For today, I liked it. Our legs locked together as Cato slowly kissed down my throat, making my legs shake with anticipation. Unfortunately Effie's voice startled us both, forcing us to break apart.

"Aspen! Cato!" Effie shouted. We both jumped but didn't bother looking away from each other. "We need to get you two downstairs to get to work for the Interviews tomorrow!"

I rolled my eyes. That was the last thing that I wanted to do today. "We're coming!" I shouted.

"Hurry now! Breakfast is on the table," Effie shouted back.

Her heels began to click against the floor as she walked away. "I'm sorry," I muttered to Cato.

He was still leaning over me. "About what?" Cato asked, pushing my hair off of my face.

"I guess I always wanted to imagine that I was the only one who was actually going to do something to try to save the other," I admitted.

His eyes hardened as he stared at me. Something akin to hurt or disbelief flashed through them. "You don't think that I would try to save you?" he asked.

Immediately I knew that I had said the wrong thing. I hadn't meant to insult him. I knew that he would try to save me. "No. No. I know you would. That's why I didn't want to think about it. It would be so much easier if only one of us was willing to save the other," I said.

"If that was the case only one of us would have walked out of the arena last year," Cato said.

A lump formed in my throat as I stared up at him. He was right. I knew that without a doubt Cato could have beaten me. He had even saved me in the beginning. I couldn't have gotten through the Games without him. I was a good fighter but he was the best. Even with my knives I wouldn't have been able to win. With the bow and arrow I might have stood a chance, but I didn't have those right off of the bat. Cato noticed that I was getting uncomfortable with the thought of him killing me. He grabbed my hand and nudged me.

"Even after everything that's happened, even being back here, I'm glad that I got to spend the last year with you," I said.

"Me too. I wouldn't change a thing. I'm glad that I got to marry you. Even if it was kind of a sham."

"That's okay. I had a good time at the wedding. Sort of."

We both laughed. "You looked thrilled," Cato teased.

"I was thrilled whenever I saw you."

"And last night?"

"That was the best part," I teased, running my bare foot along his bare leg.

I could feel the muscles on his leg twitching under the sheets. "Come on, the last thing we need is Effie physically dragging us out of bed," Cato said.

A small smile crossed my face as I stared at him. "Well the Interviews would pale in comparison to that," I said, with a little wink.

Cato stood up and I watched as the sheets fell from his body. He laughed deep in his throat and turned back to me. He knew that I was watching him. He knew that I liked watching him. I liked watching the muscles on his back contorting with his movements. After a moment of watching him and daydreaming I groaned and stood with him. The sheets fell from around me and I shivered at the blast of cold air. I tossed the sheets back on the bed and walked over to the dresser.

"Do you think that there's a cave that might not have a camera?" Cato called out.

Snorting, I pulled open the drawer and turned back to him. He was staring at me as he pulled his pants over his hips. "After last year? I think that they'll have a camera that can capture every possible angle," I said.

Cato wore a small smirk as he looked at me. "You might like that," he teased.

"Shut up!" I shouted, tossing the pillow that Cato had thrown to the floor at him.

He caught it and placed it back onto the bed as I went back to the dresser. So I rolled my eyes and went back to getting my things together. Cato was grabbing his clothes from the day before - not that it made any matter. We didn't have to be anywhere today. We would just be preparing for the Interviews. I wasn't nervous this year. Maybe it was just because I knew that it didn't matter. I already had their hearts and they knew that I was angry about the Quell. Plus I wasn't planning on living this time.

All of that was why I grabbed the first things that I could. I realized that this time there were less sparkly and pink things in the dressers. Cinna's doing, I assumed. That didn't mean that Effie didn't try to slip in some extremely fluffy and feather-ridden things. I grabbed a pair of black pants that went down to just below my knee with a white tank top and threw them on. I didn't even bother to brush out my hair. I simply grabbed a hair tie and threw my hair into a bun. Effie could yell at me as much as she wanted. I wasn't getting dressed today. One last day in comfort.

Once we were both changed Cato grabbed my arm and gently pushed me towards the door. I walked out with him, hand-in-hand. In the living room there was a fair amount of chatter. I could tell that others were probably here. Effie's voice was rather loud, along with my Prep Team. They were still very depressed about everything that was happening, but perhaps they were managing to push everything off for the next day. They were probably just here to see us. Cinna and Cato's Styling Team were also there. I didn't know any of their names.

Cinna was speaking with Cato's Head Stylist. Probably trying to match us. Haymitch had a drink in hand - I wasn't sure if it was water or some type of liquor - and he was speaking with Brutus. Enobaria was nowhere to be found. As we walked up I took a spot beside Haymitch. Cato had the spot beside me and Effie next to him. Cinna and Brutus were across from me. The Prep Teams were all standing in the living room, watching the television.

"Have a good first night as husband and wife?" Haymitch asked, as I leaned over and grabbed a muffin.

I turned to him as I popped a piece of muffin into my mouth. "If you make one comment about the thin walls..." I growled.

Haymitch glanced over at me and grinned. "Do I look like Brutus?" he asked.

Smiling, I tossed a roll at him. It missed and I snorted as it went across the room and into Flavius' lap. We both turned back and went to our meals, hoping that they wouldn't realize that it was us. "Believe it or not, I think you're a little bit better," I told Haymitch under my breath.

His eyebrows raised as he stared at me. He had some look of either concern or admiration on his face. "My God..." Haymitch said.

"What?" I asked.

I stared at him and smiled. I liked Haymitch more than I let on. "You're hungover," Haymitch said, reaching for me.

Smacking his hands away from me I laughed under my breath. "You're an idiot," I barked.

"I've never heard you say anything like that."

"And I shouldn't have. The one time that I actually bothered to try and give you a compliment," I snarled.

Haymitch laughed and went back to his meal. "Here," Cato said, handing me some hot chocolate.

"Thanks," I whispered.

"Pass it over," Brutus snapped.

We were sitting together and eating in silence when I glanced up. I had finally realized that my family and Cato's were nowhere to be found. "Where are our families?" I asked, breaking the silence.

Cato glanced up and looked around the table before turning back to Haymitch and Brutus with a deep glare. And a slightly guilty face. I understood. The two of us had almost forgotten about our families. "They're in their rooms until it's time to get them ready for the Interviews tomorrow," Haymitch said.

"They're just sitting there?" I asked.

"They'll be taken on a tour of the Capitol today and have their preparations for the Interviews tomorrow," Haymitch said.

"So they will be there?" I asked tensely.

"Don't worry, they'll be there to watch you. And they'll be back home before the commencement of the Games to see that too," Haymitch said.

My eyebrows knitted together. They were here. Why weren't they allowed to have breakfast with us? I wanted to see them again. "Why aren't they here now?" I asked Haymitch.

He turned to me with a small sigh. He looked extremely guilty. "In the words of President Snow, 'fairness.'"

"You're joking?" I snapped.

"Nope. Sorry, kid," Haymitch said.

That had to be a joke. I couldn't believe that they were here, literally on the other side of the very building that we were sitting in, and we couldn't even see them. I had been ripped away from them without warning and now they were here and I still wasn't allowed to speak to them. I rolled my eyes and shook my head. Of course it was President Snow's idea. He gave me the gift of having my family here with the condition of not being able to see them.

"It would only be fair to everyone else that if you got to have breakfast with your families they should get to be with theirs too," Haymitch continued.

"Asshole," I muttered.

But I really didn't want to admit that Snow was sort-of right. That really was fair. Effie sensed the awkward air in the room. "Would you all care to see what they're talking about on the television?" Effie asked.

"No," I muttered.

"We can see all about what they thought of the wedding!" Effie chirped.

Turning to face her I stared darkly. "Why would we want to see what they thought about the wedding? They're the ones that planned it," I said, referring to the Capitol officials.

"Manners," Effie snapped irritably.

"Am I wrong?" I whispered under my breath to Cato.

He snorted at me but before he got a chance to say anything else, Brutus spoke up. "Hey, Girl on Fire, pass the damn bacon," Brutus snapped.

Turning to him I glared deeply. Cato grabbed the plate of bacon before I could chuck it at Brutus' fat head and I stomped on his foot in retaliation. "Ow," Cato hissed.

"Still glad that you're going to die for her?" Brutus asked teasingly.

"You know what -" I started.

"Zip it!" Effie snapped.

At the same time the Capitol seal shone on the television. They were here and talking about something that they had planned themselves. How did that make any sense at all? It didn't. But that was how things in the Capitol tended to go. The screen faded back in to show Caesar Flickerman and Claudius Templesmith. As usual they were both smiling brightly at the camera. A still frame of Cato and me locked in our kiss at the altar was directly behind them.

"Good morning! Good morning! Today we are talking about everything that we have seen over the past few days as we prepare for the third Quarter Quell," Caesar greeted.

"It's been quite the exciting past few days!" Claudius cheered.

"Before we get to one of our favorite parts of the show, let's talk about the event that everyone is talking about," Caesar said.

"And how could you not be talking about it?" Claudius asked, chuckling.

"It's certainly all that we'll be talking about for a long while! All that I'll want to talk about, anyways. The wedding between Aspen Antaeus and Cato Hadley," Caesar chirped brightly.

He looked like a little girl that had just been told that she was getting a pony for her birthday. I scoffed and looked down at the table. "Attitude," Effie snapped.

"Oh, it was just beautiful!" Claudius cheered.

"That it was. We've never seen anything like it!"

"And there will never be anything like it! Their wedding will go down in history as one of the best!"

"Certainly _the_ best!"

"And the words exchanged between the pair - perfect," Claudius said happily.

"I wasn't even sure that people could be that in love," Caesar said, smiling at the camera.

"Shocking," I growled.

"Manners," Effie snapped.

"Can you believe that President Snow was so generous to give Aspen and Cato their dream wedding?" Claudius asked.

I was glad that it wasn't just me that laughed. Cato and Haymitch did, too. "Quiet!" Effie barked.

"Oh, I can! It really was lovely and I was honored to be the one to officiate. They both were wonderful. The words that were exchanged broke my heart. I just can't believe that our time with them is coming to an end," Caesar said sadly, wiping a tear away.

My fork was in my hands and I growled, accidentally bending it. If we had it our way we would have lived together happily. "It is difficult to comprehend. We have been loving having them as a part of our lives for the past year," Claudius said.

"And it seems so much longer," Caesar added.

 _That makes one of us that feels that way_. "When we met them they were just children competing in the Games. They barely even seemed like the same people," Claudius said.

"They have grown up quite a bit," Caesar said. "And it's been an honor to watch them grow up in front of us."

"Hasn't it been an honor to watch them develop in front of us?" Claudius asked.

"Absolutely! Now they're a married couple! Married, after having competed against each other in the Games. We could barely believe that it's come this far. Now they have shown us what real love is."

 _Well, yeah._ "I don't think I've ever seen a couple more in love," Claudius said.

"Not at all. Now I know that this isn't a gossip show," Caesar started. Cato and I straightened up. "But something that we've all heard are demands that the two should either be excused from the Games or that the Games themselves should be cancelled. The people love this pair so much that it's nearly impossible to think of our lives without them," Caesar said.

No part of me could believe that he was allowed to say something like that on national television. I wouldn't think that Caesar could say that. But, of course, in the Capitol there was nothing to do with rebellion. All of this was just because of two kids who were so desperate to be together. Obviously it was nothing more, seeing the hint of depression in Caesar's eyes, who was looking directly into the camera. My heart was pounding in my chest. Were they really going to let us out of the Games?

Cato's hand found its way over to my knee and he squeezed it gently. "Maybe they will," Cato whispered.

"They won't," I said grouchily.

"Now, unfortunately, the Games cannot be called off; Aspen is the only female District 12 Victor and Cato was the volunteer for District 2. But we have utterly enjoyed having them in our lives," Claudius said, with a bitter smile.

Cato's hand dropped off of my knee as we both turned to gaze into our half-eaten meals. "That we have! They have provided more joy to us over the past year than ever before," Caesar said.

"It's turned the Games from something intense and exciting to something heartbreaking and romantic," Claudius said happily.

"They were always heartbreaking," I muttered.

No one snapped at me for my comment. "And, not to worry, we will still have another night to watch them. Tomorrow night is the Interviews!" Caesar cheered.

"And we are always excited for that!" Claudius said.

"Now, while we wait to see our favorite Tributes tomorrow night, let's talk about the ones that we have to look at," Caesar said.

I wondered how many people were upset that Cato and I had been deemed the favorite Tributes. In the meantime a still photo of Cashmere and Gloss filled the side of the screen. "From District 1 we have Gloss and Cashmere. Siblings that won in back to back Games a few years ago. What do you think that we can expect to see from them?" Claudius asked Caesar.

"Gloss and Cashmere were both dominant in their respective Games. Gloss excelled with both throwing knives and daggers so we can expect to see both him and Aspen fighting over control of the knives." Cato twitched at my side and I ran my fingers over his thigh. "Cashmere, like her brother, is very talented with knives," Caesar said.

"Do you think that we should be expecting to see a fight between Aspen and these two?" Claudius asked.

Cato stiffened again. I wanted to punch Claudius for bringing me into it. These Tributes wanted to kill me as is. No need to give them ideas. "I think it's definitely a possibility. Although Mr. Hadley may have something to say about that!" Caesar yelled.

 _He isn't wrong._ "I'll kill them if they get anywhere near you," Cato snarled.

"Not if I beat you to it," I said seriously.

"Speaking of, for District 2 we have Cato and Enobaria. Cato is a master swordsman and has proved himself time and time again with hand-to-hand combat. Being with Aspen for as long as he has, he's also become slightly more adept at survival skills. As for Enobaria, she relies mostly on a smaller sword. However it is her teeth that we mostly know her from. Perhaps we will get another show from her!" Caesar cheered.

I shivered slightly. Enobaria was nice enough but I wanted nothing to do with her teeth. "Watch out for her," Cato warned.

"Is she on our side?" I asked.

"She's on her side," Cato explained.

"Last year we saw no real weaknesses from Cato. Do you think that this year having Aspen in the arena could be a problem for him?" Claudius asked.

"Of course it's a problem, idiot," I snapped.

"Hush," Effie chided.

I rolled my eyes at my plate. It was a problem at the end of the last Games. "It definitely poses a threat. We know that he will be willing to look away and fight to make sure that his beloved wife makes it out alive," Caesar said.

"That will definitely be an issue. We saw it at the end of last year's Games. Neither one can live without the other. So where does it leave them?" Claudius asked.

"It leaves them in a situation that will be very difficult at the end. So Cato could definitely be in some danger for these Games," Caesar said.

They both looked heartbroken as Caesar launched into a discussion with Claudius about both Beetee and Wiress. Probably to keep from crying. Even thought the whole thing made me roll my eyes. We watched the rest of the Tributes in silence. I wanted to make some snide comments every time that they brought my name into it - which they did somewhat regularly - but I managed to keep quiet through the rest of the program. They went pretty fast with the occasional comment about Cato or myself.

With Beetee and Wiress, Caesar and Claudius made a few good mentions of their achievements in their Games and afterwards. They didn't seem to believe that they were much of a threat. I disagreed. In District 4 they commented briefly on what Mags had been like way back in the Eleventh Hunger Games. She had apparently won because there was a reasonable amount of water in that arena. She had been a volunteer back in the day. Finnick was clearly beloved by the way that they were talking about him. This time he wasn't an underdog, he had a good chance to win.

In District 5 you could tell that Caesar and Claudius were just about counting them out. District 6 went very much the same way. The Morphlings were so high on their pain medication that it would be damn near impossible for them to do anything other than hide. Blight seemed to be a reasonable chance as a Victor. He was only in his thirties so he was still strong. Johanna - being unable to utilize her earlier strategy of being weak in her first Games - had her high training score and plenty of Sponsors.

District 8 went by in similar fashion. Woof had little to no chance to win. Not that I was surprised. He kept trying to eat the poisonous bugs while he was at the edible plant station. He was very old and very weak. Perhaps he would make it for a little while, but not for that long. Cecilia had somewhat of a chance to win. She was at least younger and had been a good fighter in her own day. It was her kids that could drive her to win... But... I would kill her for Cato. I would.

In District 9 and 10 I didn't know the Tributes. The two from Nine had almost no chance to win. They were simply unknown and disliked and on the older spectrum. The male from District 10 had a pretty good shot. He was young, strong, and good with weapons. Not to mention that he was nice-looking. His female counterpart had a similar chance, but a little lower; she was older. In District 11 neither Chaff - who was missing a hand - nor Seeder - who was older - had a good chance to win.

And finally we arrived at District 12. "Now, of course, we have two of our most interesting Tributes. Haymitch Abernathy - who notably competed in the second Quarter Quell - was talented with knives, a sword, and mostly the force field. There could be a chance that he attempts to use it again this year," Cesar said.

Now I was definitely surprised that they mentioned that. He'd made them look like an idiot. Maybe they had only said it because people would have been confused - those that could remember it - if they hadn't mentioned his ability to win with it. I risked a quick glance over to Haymitch. He wasn't saying anything, he was merely downing a mug of what I now knew was liquor. I could smell it. He was extremely tense as he stared down at the plate, refusing to look at the screen.

"His use of the force field was strange. We've never seen someone compete using it before. Not before his Games and not even after the," Claudius said.

"It was interesting, indeed! A strange choice of weapons, but obviously a good one."

"Having him back in the arena could make for some good throwbacks for those of us old enough to remember it!" Claudius chuckled.

Caesar looked slightly horrified as he pretended to hide his wrinkles. Not that he had any. The Capitol was sure to make him far younger than I was sure that he was. "So true that is!" Caesar cheered.

"And last but certainly not least..." Claudius cheered, looking thrilled.

"Of course, Aspen Hadley, the Girl on Fire! Wow! Now here is a girl that made waves through her entire Games career. She was the first volunteer from District 12, she was the first Tribute to score a twelve, she was one half of the first romantic duo in the Games, and she was also one half of the first pair to ever make it out of the Games. This is one girl that just can't stop!" Caesar grinned.

My eyebrows knitted together as I glanced over at Cato, who was staring at me. He gave me a brief smile before glancing back at the screen. "And now we're going to see if she can be the first person to make it out of the Games twice," Claudius said.

He was smiling. "She's definitely got the potential. Her skills with the bow and arrow and knives. She's very intelligent, well-liked, and knows her way around survival skills. She's got the means to be a Victor for the second year in a row," Caesar said.

"Her chances of victory are much higher this time around. But there is something that will hurt her," Claudius said.

"Definitely. Now Aspen faces some problems in these Games. There are many Tributes against both her and her husband. She has him to think about when they go into the Games. It could be a problem," Caesar said.

"It will definitely be a problem," Claudius said. "For both of them."

"But I somehow doubt that the Girl on Fire is out of tricks," Caesar said, giving the camera a brief wink.

If I had been there I could have kissed Caesar. He was always good to make sure that you didn't look like a fool. "I agree completely, Caesar!" Claudius yelled with a grin. "And there you have it, the Tributes that we know and loved as Victors, coming back to play."

A picture of all twenty-four of us cut together appeared. Caesar gave another grin as the camera began to fade away. "Join us tomorrow night for the Interviews where we will say goodbye to all but one of them!" Caesar called out.

 _Goodbye to all but one of them_... Cato. It had to be Cato. As much as I wanted to live, I couldn't stand the thought of him possibly dying. I needed him to live. Because he meant the entire world to me and so much more. I noticed that Cato was giving me a sad stare. The pair said their goodbyes and the television stayed on long enough for the next program to start. It was a program that was going over our performances in our original Games. As expected, Cato and I were the stars of the show.

But Haymitch turned off the television and looked over at us. "All right, so how did your private sessions go?" Haymitch asked.

Of course he had asked that. I'd almost forgotten that we were going to have to talk about what we'd done. The only reason that we hadn't talked about it before was because at the time we were getting ready for our wedding. They were only going to annoy us so much on that night. I exchanged a nervous look with Cato. Somehow I wasn't that eager to put what I did into words. In the calmness of the dining room, it suddenly seemed very extreme. Haymitch would be pissed.

"You first," I told Cato. "It must have been really special. Enobaria had to wait for forty minutes to go in."

He hadn't officially told me what he had done, but I had managed to figure it out myself. Cato seemed to be struck with the same reluctance I was experiencing. "Well, I - I did the camouflage thing, like you suggested, Aspen." He hesitated. "Not exactly camouflage. I mean, I used the dyes."

"To do what?" Portia asked.

No one looked happy about this. They knew that, since we were being so quiet, and with my known hatred and bad habit of being not so level-headed, I had done something stupid. Which was a very good guess. But Cato... They probably thought that he hadn't done anything stupid. I thought of how ruffled the Gamemakers were when I entered the gym for my session. The smell of cleaners. The mat pulled over that spot in the center of the gym. It had to have been to conceal something they were unable to wash away.

"Did you paint something else? A picture?" I asked.

"Did you see it?" Cato asked.

"What the hell did you do?" Brutus snarled.

"No. I saw part of it. The dummies that they couldn't completely wash off. But they made a real point of covering up whatever you did on the floor," I said.

"Well, that would be standard. They can't let one Tribute know what another did," Effie said, unconcerned. "What did you paint, Cato?" She looked a little misty. "Was it a picture of Aspen?"

"He's not that good of an artist. Why would he paint a picture of me, Effie?" I asked, somehow annoyed.

"To show he's going to do everything he can to defend you. That's what everyone in the Capitol's expecting, anyway. Didn't he volunteer to go in with you?" Effie asked, as if it was the most obvious thing in the world.

"Actually, I used all of the dummies to simulate the Tributes from last year. I painted each one to resemble something about them. The flowers for Rue. How she looked after Aspen had covered her in flowers. The golden glow of the bakery for Peeta. Glimmer's hair. Clove's weapons. On the floor I drew out all of their names, how they died, and made a little memorial," Cato said.

There was a long pause at the table while everyone absorbed that. Some of it I was able to see. I hadn't even noticed Glimmer's dummy. He might not have always liked her, but they were alliance members. And he really did love Clove. I just remembered seeing Rue's and Peeta's, and how much it broke my heart. But the mats... That was what was underneath them. He had described just how much he hated the Capitol for killing all of those kids. Even the ones whose name he hadn't known. Even the ones that he had killed himself.

"Are you joking?" Brutus asked slowly.

"No."

"And what exactly were you trying to accomplish?" Haymitch asked in a very measured voice.

"I'm not sure. I just wanted to hold them accountable, if only for a moment. For killing that little girl. For killing all of those kids," Cato said.

"You've already managed to damn yourself," Brutus snarled, looking angrier and angrier by the second.

"This is dreadful." Effie sounded like she was about to cry. "That sort of thinking... it's forbidden, Cato. Absolutely. You'll only bring down more trouble on yourself and Aspen," Effie said sharply.

"I have to agree with Effie on this one," Haymitch said.

That was when I knew that it was serious. Things were definitely bad if Haymitch and Effie - who were always violent with each other - were actually getting along. Portia and Cinna and all of Cato's team remained silent, but their faces were very serious. It made me grit my teeth. Because if they were angry with him over what he did, what were the Gamemakers thinking? That they would kill him off first... Of course, they were right. But even though it worried me, I thought that what he did was amazing.

And I wanted the fire of this to fall back on me, not him. "I guess this is a bad time to mention I hung a dummy and painted Seneca Crane's and President Snow's name on it," I said blandly.

Every head in the room whipped towards me. Brutus, who normally loved calling me an idiot and telling me that I had done something stupid, was staring at me in disbelief. Even Cato was giving me a stunned glance. It wouldn't go over well for me, what I had done, but it had the desired effect. No one looked happy and what Cato had done had been all but forgotten. _Good_. After a moment of disbelief, all the disapproval in the room hit me like a ton of bricks.

"You... hung... Seneca Crane?" Brutus asked.

"And President Snow?" Effie asked, sounding on the verge of killing me.

"Yes. I was showing off my new knot-tying skills, and they somehow ended up at the end of the noose. The Gamemakers were on it, too," I said. "I shot an arrow through its throat."

There was a sudden muttering. Brutus even looked livid. "Oh, Aspen," Effie said in a hushed voice. "How do you even know about that?"

"Are you joking? Is it a secret? President Snow didn't act like it was. In fact, he seemed eager for me to know. Remember that meeting that they called after the end of the last Games? What do you think that Seneca Crane wanted to say to me? That he was congratulating me for winning? Of course not. He wanted me to know what my actions had caused," I said.

Now everyone was looking at me again. That was when I remembered that I'd never really explained what had happened back on that morning. I had just said that I wasn't really sure what had happened. Of course, they had all wanted to know. Haymitch knew the truth, but he didn't say anything. I had a feeling that Brutus might have known, too, but he still looked hung up over what Cato and I had done. Effie left the table with her napkin pressed to her face.

"Now I've upset Effie. I should have lied and said I shot some arrows," I mumbled.

"You'd have thought we planned it," Cato said, giving me just the hint of a smile.

"Didn't you?" Brutus asked.

His fingers were pressing his eyelids closed as if he was warding off a very bright light. "No," I said, looking at Cato with a new sense of appreciation. He was turning into me after being the strong Career for so long. "Neither of us even knew what we were going to do before we went in."

"And, Haymitch, Brutus?" Cato asked.

"What?" Haymitch asked through gritted teeth.

"We decided we don't want any other allies in the arena."

"Good. Then I won't be responsible for you killing off any of my friends with your stupidity," Haymitch said.

"That's just what we were thinking," I said.

It was a little nastier than I had meant for it to come out. But it was the truth. I just wanted to be with them. Actually, I didn't want to be there at all. But I had already lost this fight. I was going to win the one on allies. We finished the meal in silence, but when we rose to go into the sitting room, Cinna put his arm around me and gave me a squeeze. He was always the only person to be there for me, no matter what I did. Haymitch wasn't pleased when the television repeated our impressive twelves from yesterday. It had made Hunger Games history. No one felt like celebrating, though.

"So why did they give us all twelves?" I asked.

"So that the others will have no choice but to target you. Go get ready for the day. I can't stand to look at either one of you," Haymitch said flatly.

There were a number of times that Haymitch hadn't looked thrilled with me. But right now he looked like he was going to rip my spine out with his bare hands. Not that I said anything. I merely stood from the table with Cato and headed towards my room. Cato walked with me down to my room in silence, but before he could tell me that he was going to go downstairs and get ready, I wrapped my arms around him and rested my head against his chest. His hands slid up my back and his cheek leaned against my hair.

"I'm sorry if I made things worse," I said.

"No worse than I did. Why did you do it, anyway?" he asked.

No way was I going to tell him that I was trying to draw the heat to myself and away from him. "I don't know. To show them that I'm more than just a piece in their Games?" I offered.

My own way of remembering Peeta. It was something that I had told Cato once when we were on the Victory Tour. I had told him all about what Peeta had once said to me. Before the Games and in the moments leading up to his death. Cato laughed a little, no doubt remembering the day of the Death Match in the Games last year. When Peeta had died, he had said something of the sort, but I hadn't understood what he meant. Now I did.

"Me, too. And I'm not saying I'm not going to try. To get you home, I mean," Cato said.

"Of course. We might be each other's worst enemies in the arena," I said.

"Most likely. But if I'm perfectly honest about it..." Cato trailed off.

"If you're perfectly honest about it, you think President Snow has probably given them direct orders to make sure we die in the arena anyway," I said flatly.

"It's crossed my mind."

It had crossed my mind, too. Repeatedly. So many times. Each time I was more sure of it than the last. But President Snow had nothing to worry about. While I knew that I would never leave that arena alive, I was still holding on to the hope that Cato would. After all, he didn't pull out those knives, I did. No one had ever doubted that Cato's defiance was motivated by love. So maybe President Snow would prefer keeping him alive, crushed and heartbroken, as a living warning to others. Because he was still a Career and they were Capitol favorites.

"But even if that happens, everyone will know we've gone out fighting, right?" Cato asked.

"Everyone will," I confirmed.

"Maybe we can be together in the afterlife, huh?"

"Sounds peaceful."

And it did sound peaceful. It sounded so peaceful to be with Cato somewhere that I didn't have to worry about keeping myself and Cato and our families alive. Just the two of us. Happy and alone together. For the first time, I distanced myself from the personal tragedy that had consumed me since they announced the Quell. I remembered the old man they shot in District 11, and the one that they shot in District 9, all of the people in the audience during the Victory Tour, and Bonnie and Twill, and the rumored uprisings.

Everything that had haunted my nightmares for months. For the past year. Even since I'd heard Prim's name get pulled at the Reaping. Yes, everyone in the Districts would be watching me to see how I would handle this death sentence, this final act of President Snow's dominance. They would be looking for some sign that their battles had not been in vain. And they wouldn't be. I was going to be sure of that. If I could make it clear that I was still defying the Capitol right up to the end, the Capitol would have killed me... but not my spirit. What better way to give hope to the rebels?

The beauty of that idea was that my decision to keep Cato alive at the expense of my own life was itself an act of defiance. Not just because I loved him and because I couldn't manage to go on without him. It was also for something much more than that. Much more than just showing how much I really loved him. It was a refusal to play the Hunger Games by the Capitol's rules. I would never play by their rules. Not in the first Games and not now.

My private agenda dovetailed completely with my public one. And if I really could save Cato... in terms of a revolution, that would be ideal. Because I would be more valuable dead. I knew that much. They could turn me into some kind of martyr for the cause and paint my face on banners, and it would do more to rally people than anything I could do if I was living. Because they loved me and our story and didn't want to see it end in tragedy. But Cato would be more valuable alive, and tragic, because he would be able to turn his pain into words that would transform people. He was good with words.

Cato would lose it if he knew that I was thinking any of that, so I only said, "So what should we do with our last few days?"

"I just want to spend every possible minute of the rest of my life with you," Cato said.

"Come on, then," I said, pulling him into my room.

There was a good chance that Haymitch would want us to hurry up with getting ready so that we could start figuring out our Interview angles, what we wanted to say, and how we wanted to play it, but I didn't care. It was still early in the morning and we had time. So I grabbed Cato and immediately pulled him into the shower. We both stripped off our clothing and stepped under the warm stream of water. The two of us spent a long time helping the other run the soap over ourselves and through our hair.

When we finally managed to get out of the shower Cato grabbed me around the waist and lifted me up against him. He jumped over the drying plate and led me back out to the bed, dropping our very wet forms over the bed. The two of us spent the day just like we had spent the night before, wrapped around each other, enjoying some of the last few days we had together. Finally we managed to pull ourselves apart, almost an hour after we'd been kicked out of breakfast, and I fell asleep on Cato's bare chest.

It felt like such a luxury, being able to at least spend my last few nights sleeping with Cato. My husband... It might have been a sham, but I loved being with him. Having him near me. I didn't realize in the months after the Games how starved I had been for human closeness. For the feel of him beside me in the darkness. Now that we were back together, I wished that we could have lived in the same District, just so I could have spent the last year with him. Sleeping with him. I sank down into sleep, enveloped in his warmth, and when I opened my eyes again, daylight was streaming through the windows.

We had likely been asleep for a few hours. It was nice. One of the last chances that we could get to sleep together. Cato was already awake. His hands were slowly running up and down my bare arms, sides, and legs. His heart was beating steadily under his skin. And it always would... He gently twisted his fingers through my hair and I smiled, looking up and exchanging a long kiss with him. He gently brushed his thumb over my chin and I smiled again.

"No nightmares," Cato said.

"No nightmares," I confirmed. "You?"

"None. I'd forgotten what a real night's sleep feels like," Cato said.

"I'm oddly calm."

"Even with the Games so close?"

"Yes. I was terrified last year. For the Interviews, for getting prepared, and for the Games. I'm not afraid of anything this year. Just not being with you."

"I'm here. For as long as I can be, I'm here," Cato promised.

"Should we get up?"

"No. I like us like this."

"Naked?" I teased.

His lips tilted upwards. "Well, yes. But just being together. In bed. Having you with me. Next to me. Not being with you after the Games and the Victory Tour, it was awful. Every morning and in the middle of the night I would wake up in a panic, desperately trying to find you," Cato admitted.

"Really?" I asked, dumbfounded.

"Yes. My family would have to come in, reassure me that it was a nightmare, and promise me that you were safe in District 12. They just got used to it. It was normally Carrie or Dean. That was when Carrie pulled some strings and got a picture of you. Kept it at the table across from my bed. Just so you were close."

"Which one?"

"Us. In the cave."

My blush was burning. "Are you kidding?" I snapped.

"Not that one. After the fire. When I slid back in and kissed you. The moment that I knew how much I loved you. That kiss dazed me," Cato admitted.

"Me too," I whispered.

We laid there for a while, neither one of us in any rush to begin the day. Tomorrow night would be the televised Interviews, so today Effie and Haymitch would be coaching me while Brutus and Cato's Escort would be coaching him. More high heels and sarcastic comments. But then Lavinia came in with a note from Effie saying that, given our recent tour, she and Haymitch and Brutus had agreed that we could handle ourselves adequately in public. The coaching sessions had been canceled.

"Really?" Cato asked, taking the note from my hand and examining it.

"Apparently they're that mad at us," I said.

"Do you know what this means? We'll have the whole day to ourselves."

"I wish we could see our families," I muttered.

"I know. But we'll get to see them tomorrow before they go back home."

"It's too bad we can't go somewhere," I said wistfully.

"Who says we can't?" Cato asked.

The roof. Of course. We ordered a bunch of food, grabbed some blankets, and headed up to the roof for a picnic. A daylong picnic in the flower garden that tinkled with wind chimes. We ate. We laid in the sun. I snapped off hanging vines and used my newfound knowledge from training to practice knots and weave nets. Cato tried to sketch me. It turned out that he'd taken on drawing as a way to get over what happened in the Games. His drawing wasn't anything like one that Peeta could do, and had once done, but it was definitely good and I could tell that it was me.

All day we enjoyed our time together. Despite knowing that there were cameras up on the roof, as I really didn't care anymore, Cato and I wound up entangled with the blankets with our clothes misplaced numerous times. We had almost ten hours to do anything that we wanted. And we did everything that we wanted. We made up a game with the force field that surrounded the roof - one of us would throw an apple into it and the other person had to catch it. Cato was very good at catching, but my aim with throwing the apples was perfect. We were a good team.

At one point I started to sing at Cato's request. Every song that I knew. He told me stories about his days back in the Academy. I explained all about school back in District 12. We teased each other and walked through the gardens. Cato picked a few flowers and gave them to me like a bouquet. Like the one I'd carried at our wedding. I taught Cato the survival skills that I could think of while Cato showed me how to properly swing a sword. Which mostly entailed of him wrapping himself around me and ended up with us back in the blankets.

No one bothered us all day. By late afternoon, I laid with my head on Cato's lap, making a crown of flowers while he fiddled with my hair, claiming that he was practicing his knots. Which I knew that he wasn't. He just wanted to touch me for as long as he could. My hands slowly went back to his bare thighs and I started to trace patterns in his skin. He shivered under my touch. His hands gently stroked over my bare arms as I pulled the blanket a little higher on my bare chest. After a while, his hands went still.

"What?" I asked.

"I wish I could freeze this moment, right here, right now, and live in it forever," he said.

Usually that sort of comment, the kind that hinted of his undying love for me, the fact that he wanted to let me live and take his own life, let me live with Gale happily, made me feel guilty and awful. I hated thinking that he was going to die for me to have a life with someone that I still felt some love for. But today... Just for today it didn't bother me. I felt so warm and relaxed and beyond worrying about a future that I would never have, because of my death in the Games, I just let the word slip out.

"Okay."

I could hear the smile in his voice. "Then you'll allow it?"

"I'll allow it," I said.

"I love you, Aspen," Cato whispered.

"I love you, too, Cato," I whispered back.

"Doesn't feel like the Games are in a few days."

"I know. It feels like we could be out here for the rest of our lives. In love. Actually married. Have a chance at having..." My voice caught when I realized that I was about to mention children. Something that I never thought that I wanted.

"Having?" Cato prompted.

"Nothing," I muttered. "Just a real life."

"We have a life. It's a crazy one, but it's ours," Cato said.

Ours. Not his. Not mine. Ours. It was something that I actually liked hearing. I liked knowing that he would have a life with me. Would he have really wanted a life with me? Without the Capitol? I had to believe that he did. The way that he loved me. The way that I knew that he did... There was no way that any part of his feelings for me were faked. He would never love anyone else... He never could... Suddenly the guilt was back. Because I feared that one day I might be able to move on. With Gale. His fingers went back to my hair and I dozed off, but he roused me to see the sunset.

It was a spectacular yellow and orange blaze behind the skyline of the Capitol. "I didn't think you'd want to miss it," Cato said.

"Thanks. It might be the last one I see," I said.

"For a while," Cato immediately stepped in.

"Can I ask you something?"

"Sure."

"Would you ever have kids?" Obviously my question surprised him. "The morning before the Reaping that sent me into the Games Katniss and I told Gale that we would never have kids. He said that he might, if he didn't live in District 12. Would you?" I asked.

"Now? Now I don't have time," Cato said.

"That's not true," I said, faster than I had thought.

"There's only one person that I would want to have kids with." _Me_. "And you?" Cato asked.

"I don't know. Maybe one day. Not anymore," I muttered.

Because the only person that I could think about having kids with, at least for right now, was sitting right here. Cato was the only person that I could think about having kids with. So I sighed and glanced back out over the horizon. Just watching the sun. Just enjoying it. Because I could count on my fingers the number of sunsets I had left, and I didn't want to miss any of them. Not the real ones and not the artificial ones in the Games. We didn't go and join the others for dinner, and no one summoned us.

"I'm glad. I'm tired of making everyone around me so miserable. Everybody crying. Brutus shouting at me for everything. Or Haymitch..." Cato trailed off.

He didn't need to go on. I knew what he meant. The two of us stayed lying over each other and exchanging long kisses. We chatted back and forth about our families, about the food that we loved here, and about the things that we loved most about our homes. We never mentioned the Games or our impending deaths. We stayed on the roof until bedtime and then quietly slipped down to my room without encountering anyone. We didn't clean up from the roof and we didn't even bother putting our clothes back on. I just wrapped us in the blankets that we'd taken and fell back into bed with him.

The next morning, we were roused by my Prep Team. At first I was mortified. The sheets had been jumbled both by us when we got back to my room and just from sleeping. Normally I would have been extraordinarily embarrassed because I wasn't wearing any clothes and neither was Cato. But he blearily opened his eyes and pushed a gentle kiss on my temple, not even caring that the Prep Team was there. I'd almost forgotten that I was wearing my ring, but I was immediately reminded when their eyes caught sight of it and they fell apart. The sight of Cato and me sleeping together was too much for Octavia, because she burst into tears right away.

"You remember what Cinna told us," Venia said fiercely. Octavia nodded and went out sobbing.

The Prep Team gave us a little while to start getting ready for the day. We didn't have to do much, but I did need to get changed and actually wear clothes today. Cato looked over at me and sighed. We didn't say anything today. Just because my Prep Team had reminded us of the problem at hand. In twenty-four hours we would be back in the arena. So we quietly changed and headed out to breakfast to eat. Everyone was there and, while it was tense, no one looked as angry as they had yesterday.

Effie clapped her hands together and we all turned to her. "Are we all done with breakfast?" she asked. Everyone continued to stare at her but no one bothered to speak. She stood from her chair irritably. "Does no one have manners anymore?" Again no one answered. She then turned to Cato and me. "Aspen and Cato, get ready and head downstairs. The Interviews are only a few hours away!"

"The Interviews are almost eight hours away," I mumbled.

"Manners," she snapped.

It looked like she might say something else to berate me about my manners, but before she could Cinna stood and placed a hand on my shoulder. "Come on, my dear. Shall we get you ready?" Cinna asked.

"Sure," I said, pushing out my chair so that I could stand.

On the other side of the room Cato's Head Stylist stood too. She motioned for him to go with her. "I'll see you at the Interviews," Cato said, placing a small kiss on my forehead.

"See you tonight," I said.

"You okay?" Cato asked.

I grabbed his hand, pulling him towards the elevator. Haymitch, Portia, Cinna, and Cato's Head Stylist followed. "Trust me, I'd be trying to get out of it if I could. The last thing that I want to do is spend the last few days of my life performing for them like a monkey," I said, under my breath.

He snorted and I saw Cinna smile as Portia pulled Haymitch from the elevator. Cato pushed a strand of fallen hair behind my ear. "You won't be. Because these are not the last few days of your life," Cato said.

I wanted to argue and tell him that it would be him to get out of the Games, but I didn't. I merely smiled and placed a small kiss on his lips. "Okay," I whispered.

"I'll see you tonight," Cato.

"See you."

His Stylist beckoned him out of the hallway and I waved goodbye. A moment later Cinna motioned for me to follow him into the office that I had become somewhat accustomed to. The Prep Team would be in to help me out in just a few minutes. Which would be fine. They seemed to be a little nicer and less chatty today.

"That's very sweet of the two of you," Cinna said.

"I try. Don't always succeed but I try," I told Cinna.

He smiled and sat me down at the chair. "Take a seat. The Prep Team will be in shortly. I'll return in a few hours," Cinna said.

"Okay."

Cato and Haymitch had to go to their own rooms for prep, so I was left alone with Venia and Flavius. The usual chatter had been suspended. In fact, there was little talk at all, other than to have me raise my chin or comment on a makeup technique. It was nearly lunch when I felt something dripping on my shoulder and turned to find Flavius, who was snipping away at my hair with silent tears running down his face. Venia gave him a look, and he gently set the scissors on the table and left.

Then it was just Venia, whose skin was so pale that her tattoos appeared to be leaping off it. Almost rigid with determination, she did my hair and nails and makeup, fingers flying swiftly to compensate for her absent teammates. I was almost impressed with her, if I hadn't been thinking about how close to death I was. The whole time, she avoided my gaze. I was looking at her, wondering what was happening, but she didn't speak. Something very strange was happening.

It was only when Cinna showed up to approve me and dismiss her that she took my hands, looked me straight in the eye, and said, "We would all like you to know what a... privilege it has been to make you look your best." Then she hastened from the room.

My Prep Team. My foolish, shallow, affectionate pets, with their obsessions with feathers and parties, nearly broke my heart with their goodbye. My entire frame was shaking. I wanted to say something to her but I couldn't force my lips to work. And she was gone by now anyways. My final goodbye to them. It was certain from Venia's last words that we all knew that I wouldn't be returning. Did the whole world know it? I looked at Cinna. He knew, certainly. But as he promised, there was no danger of tears from him.

"Tell them I said thank you," I whispered.

"Of course."

"Why do you still have the wedding dress?" I asked Cinna.

"For the reason I told you last night."

"I really thought that you were joking," I muttered.

He frowned at me before taking my hair down from the hold that it was in and running a brush through it. "My apologies. President Snow ignored our protests. Unfortunately it was not a choice of mine. He believes that you should have the opportunity to look like a bride - and enjoy another night with your husband - for one last time before going into the Games. Plus the people like to look at it," Cinna explained.

"He just wants to make me look like a jackass and try to get the other Tributes to hate me even more than the already do," I grumbled as I leaned back in the chair.

"That, too," Cinna added.

I snorted under my breath and sank into the chair, kicking one of my feet over my knee. "Thanks for not sugarcoating it," I said.

"Of course. Don't worry, I've made a few alterations to the dress," Cinna said with a small smile.

The one that was on my face mirrored his. "I like the sound of that," I told him.

He got to work on my hair, snipping away the dead ends that Flavius hadn't managed to finish before he had started crying left the room. Most of me was only half-finished since the Prep Team had left so early. But Cinna was good enough to finish up what they hadn't. In the meantime, as I thought about yesterday with Cato, Cinna was washing my hair out with a powerful chemical. As he scrubbed at the roots and began to pull out the remaining tangles, I glanced up at Cinna.

"Cinna?"

"Yes?"

"If you could change one thing about your life, what would you change?" I asked.

He pulled me up and began to run a heated object over my hair. Partially to dry and partially to curl it. We had been sitting in silence for a while and I could tell that Cinna was slightly surprised that I had spoken. He probably thought that my mind was on the Interviews. But it really wasn't. I didn't care enough to think about the Interviews. Not this year. I was planning on winging it and seeing how things went from there.

"Nothing," Cinna finally said.

I raised an eyebrow. "Nothing?" I asked.

"Nothing," he repeated. We sat in silence for a while as Cinna continued to snip away at the little dead ends. I watched as the bits of hair fluttered to the floor. "Would you change something in your life?"

My answer was immediate. "Yes."

There were plenty of things that I wished that I could change. Even from the beginning of my life. Even from things that were out of my control. Things that had happened before I was even born. That was just the kind of person that I was. There was always something that I wanted to change. I wanted to change the fact that Prim had ever been Reaped. Things would be so much different today. Everything would be right. I wanted to change coming into the Games in the first place.

As much as I loved him, I wanted to change ever looking at Cato. I wanted to change the Games themselves. I wanted Rue to have lived. I wanted Peeta to have lived. I wanted to have never killed someone. I wanted to take back ever handing Cato the knife at the end of the last Games. I wanted the innocent men and women that had been killed on the Victory Tour to still be alive. I wanted to be anywhere but here, back in the Games. I wanted there to be no rebellion being made in my name.

After a little while Cinna spoke up again. "What would you change?" he asked.

 _Everything._ But they were things I wouldn't be able to change. Maybe it wasn't worth it to pretend that I could change anything. It might just make everything even harder. "I don't know. Lots of things," I mumbled.

"Things that you have control of, correct?" Cinna asked.

In the meantime he was pulling my hair up into a complicated twist. It was different than last night. I glanced at him in the mirror. "Of course. There's no point in trying to change something that I have no control of," I said.

"That is true."

"I could want to change something until I turned blue in the face but it wouldn't change anything. It would just hurt to think about. Like my parents dying."

Cinna nodded at me again. He was going to try and teach me a lesson. I could see it in his face. "Tell me what you would change. Volunteering for Primrose and ensuring that Katniss didn't go into the Games?" Cinna asked.

My heart skipped a beat. I would never want either of them to go into the Games. Katniss could have died. Cato might have killed her. And I knew for a fact Prim would have been killed. By anyone. "No," I said immediately.

"Oh?"

"I would live through the Games a million times to make sure that neither one of them ever had to deal with it. Especially considering something even worse could have happened to them."

Although on one hand they might not have started a war. But maybe the war was a good thing. Just not for me. Or for any of the Victors. "Would you change ever speaking to Cato? Ever bothering to play into his traps?" Cinna asked.

"Ye - Yes," I answered, a painful twisting in my chest. Maybe that wasn't the truth. I loved Cato. I couldn't imagine having never met him. I didn't want to live in a world without him. Even if it meant that I had to meet him through the Games, I would always want to know him. "No. I don't know."

And it was the truth. I would always want to meet him. I just wished that I didn't have to go through the Games to do that. "I don't think that you would," Cinna said.

"What do you mean?" I asked.

"Because even though you have had all of these things happen to you, it's all been worth it to meet him. It's been worth it to meet him and get to fall in love with him. I don't think that you would have changed how the Games ended. I don't think that you would have changed any of those things. I don't think that you want any of those things to happen."

As per usual, Cinna was correct. "But I don't want to be the Mockingjay," I said.

"Is that so?"

"It's very sweet that they all love me so much. It's very sweet that they all think that I'm someone to follow. But I'm not. I'm just a kid. I'm just someone that trying to get by. I didn't want to become the symbol of a rebellion."

The last thing that I wanted to do was be the Mockingjay. I wasn't. I wasn't as brave or smart as I wanted to pretend to be. "I know that. Many people know that. But you have become all of those things. The people trust you. They've found someone to follow. I've found someone to follow," Cinna said with a smile, placing his hand on my shoulder.

"You have?" I asked.

"You are my Mockingjay."

"Why is that? What have I done that makes me a good person to follow?" I asked.

I couldn't figure out why I was any better than Haymitch, or Finnick, or Cato. Cinna gave me a small smile. "It isn't because you're a good fighter," Cinna said.

"Thanks," I teased.

"It isn't because you have shown everyone something to fight for."

"I don't get it."

"It's because you are just like them. You have a family that you want to protect. You have things to fight for. And you've shown that one person can change anything," Cinna said.

Maybe it was the truth. I had changed things, despite the fact that I hadn't meant to change anything. But it would never matter. Once these Games were dead and the Mockingjay was dead, the rebellion would be too. "It doesn't matter. Only one person is going to make it out of the Games this time," I said.

"Maybe."

"Nearly a third of the Victors will be dead after this. And the Mockingjay will be gone. Cato will live," I said softly.

Cinna didn't bother glancing up at me as he nodded. "Perhaps. But I think that Caesar was correct in one thing that he said earlier," Cinna said.

I glanced up at him curiously. I was shocked that he even thought that one thing that he had said were correct. "And that is?" I asked.

This time he did look up at me and smile. "I'm not sure that the Mockingjay is out of tricks," he said.

That was the last thing that he said before glancing back down at my hair. I smiled back at him and knitted my hands together in my lap. Cinna went back to work as we sat in silence. The entire time I couldn't stop thinking about the Games. What were they going to be like? I knew that in the last Quarter Quell - with Haymitch - the arena had been larger. It had been nearly twice the size of the arena last year. But that made sense, there had been twice the amount of Tributes. They needed more places to hide.

But that arena was the real threat that year. If I was correct in thinking that Snow wanted the Victors dead as fast as possible I would be correct in thinking that Snow would make the arena smaller this year so that he could push us together. There would also probably be sections of the arena where it would be almost impossible to go. And if Seneca was telling me the truth, there would be mutts for me to avoid. But he had told me to just stay alive until the third day. What did that mean?

It seemed like everyone knew about the arena except for me. Cinna probably knew something about it. He seemed to know everything about everyone. He was certainly one of the most intelligent and informed people that I knew. He was like my guardian angel. His costumes were half of the reason that I'd even known what to say whenever I'd had to speak to Capitol officials. Thankfully they wanted to talk about the clothes and that meant that I didn't have to talk about myself. Cinna was certainly the reason that I was so well liked. At least by the Capitol people.

But by the other Victors - that was another thing. They hated me. I was no fool. I knew that they all wanted me dead. The only people that might have liked me in the slightest were Beetee, Wiress, Mags, Finnick, Haymitch, and Cato. But they weren't enough. A good portion of the rest of the Victors were not fond of me because of what I'd done. Even despite the fact that I had bonded with some of them during training. They were still angry with me.

There were still plenty of others that wanted me dead. Dangerous ones, too. It seemed like Johanna wanted me dead and she was definitely a dangerous player in the Games. Enobaria, too. But I wasn't sure what she thought about me. And as for the ones that liked me - Mags, Wiress, and Beetee - they weren't strong enough to help keep me alive. And more painful than anything else, there were the Victors that had left their families. The ones that had been snatched from their lives because of my mistake.

It didn't matter what anyone else said. The end of the Games were no one else's fault. It wasn't the Capitol's, it wasn't Snow, and it wasn't Cato. It was me. Cato... He had just wanted to come in there and win the Games. Perhaps I should have thought about that in the beginning. He could have killed me and won and things would be normal. He would still be with his family. He would have been having a much easier life without me. I knew that it was the truth.

He would never have had to deal with the Quarter Quell. It would have been the original twist. He would have just been a Mentor for the first time. Marley would have her uncle that she loved so much. Aiden would have a training partner. Dean would have someone to laugh with. Carrie would have the one other Hadley she was close to. Leah would have her big brother. And Damien and Alana would still have their son. Cato would have been happy with either Skye or Julie.

But it wasn't just Cato that had been taken from something. It wasn't even all of the other Tributes. I was never selfish about anything having to do with the Games. Everything that I had done with the Games had been for someone else. It had never been anything that I'd done for myself, with the exception of the very beginning of the Games. The first week or so. I supposed that now would be my one chance to be selfish. I still had my family out there. People that I had to defend.

I had Katniss - who was my best friend - who I needed to get back to. She didn't need the guilt. I knew that beside myself, Katniss felt the guiltiest for everything. She thought that if she had been in the Games she could have changed something. And maybe she could have. Or maybe we would still be right here. I had to get back for Prim. I knew how guilty she felt for what had happened to me. And I needed to get back to Ms. Everdeen. She had promised my parents that she would keep me safe. She deserved to keep that promise. And Gale... I had no good reason. I just knew that I had to come back to him.

And then there was the one thing that made me not selfish. The rebellion. It was the one thing that made everything that I had been through worth it. Part of me genuinely desired to be part of the rebellion. If it wanted any chance to succeed I knew that I would have to be the face. I was the one that had started everything. Perhaps I would need to end things. I had been the fool to start this. I had to be the one to end it. I deserved to be the one to put an arrow through Snow's eyes. It would all depend on what happened over the next few days. It would determine whether the rebellion would live on or fizzle out.

"You're done," Cinna called, startling me from my thoughts.

I glanced up and looked into the mirror. Nothing seemed different. The more I looked the more I realized that nothing was different. I was dressed the exact same. The makeup was the same; just a little bit darker. So was the dress. Cinna said that he had made some alterations to the costume but so far I couldn't see anything. The only thing that was different was that my hair was done up this time. Instead of a few pieces pulled up, it all was. The nails and shoes were exactly the same.

I even gave a small spin to see if anything on the back was different. "I don't see anything different," I said after a moment.

He was grinning down at me. "Not yet. But you will. Come on. We can do the finishing touches behind the stage. That way you'll be able to see what's happening with the other Tributes' Interviews," Cinna said.

"Okay."

We walked out of the hallway. I had to awkwardly shimmy through. I could have sworn that the dress had gotten bigger since the night before. And heavier. As we walked through the halls I saw a few of the other Tributes. They were all glaring at me and my nerves started to fray. They hated me. Seeing me here in the wedding dress for a second time was making it even worse. Cinna dragged me behind the stage and pushed me into a small area that was designated for District 12. It was different than last year.

Instead of having the Tributes line up we were in individual finishing areas that were open to see everyone else. Haymitch and Portia had yet to arrive. Up on the stage, Caesar was in the front. He was about to welcome the crowd. There were no chair for us to sit in this year. Instead he would stand and speak to the Tributes. Afterwards they would be ushered to stand on one of two raised platforms behind him where they would watch the other Interviews. The only one that I would watch from up there would be Haymitch's. I was extremely curious to hear what he was going to say.

The crowd went up into a loud roar as the Panem anthem began to play. "Thank you! Thank you! Thank you for being here tonight on the eve of the Seventy-Fifth Hunger Games!" Caesar yelled. The crowd finally began to quiet. "We have never seen anything like this. And we will never see anything like it again. Because tonight, on this stage, twenty-four of Panem's brightest stars will vie for the ultimate crown. Tonight will be their final opportunity to express their thoughts. Our final opportunity to express our love." There were sounds of pity. "And heartbreakingly, to say goodbye to all but one. What a night. Let's hear it. It's so exciting!"

Caesar then went over the Tributes for tonight. Cinna was currently stitching on a diamond that must have been knocked loose last night. I rubbed a bit of the silk between my fingers, trying to figure out President Snow's reasoning. I supposed that since I was the greatest offender, my pain, loss, and humiliation should be in the brightest spotlight. This, he thought, would make that clear. It was so barbaric, Snow turning my bridal gown into my shroud, that the blow struck home, leaving me with a dull ache inside.

"Oh I am so glad to be back in the wedding dress," I teased.

He glanced up at me and smiled. "Sorry, darling. President Snow insisted. I think you'll be very fond of the alterations though," Cinna said.

Then it dawned on me. This was going to be like the first Tribute Parade. There was something else underneath. That was why it was so heavy. "Don't worry, Cinna. I'm still not afraid of fire," I said.

He glanced up at me and smiled. "You're a brave girl," Cinna said.

"Stupid, more like it."

"That is not true. You're my Mockingjay. You always will be."

"I hope that I don't disappoint you."

For the most part I couldn't care less about what people thought of me. But Cinna mattered. I didn't want to disappoint him. Cinna kissed my cheek gently. "I don't think that you can," Cinna said fondly.

Caesar's voice called out from the stage and Cinna and I both turned to see that he was speaking to Gloss and Cashmere. They were together. That didn't make much sense to me. Were we supposed to speak with our District partner? It was the first time that I had seen two people speaking together in the Interviews. Maybe it was just because the two of them were related.

"You two made the Games a family affair. You became everyone's brother and sister. I don't know how we're going to let you go," Caesar told them.

Cashmere was crying softly into her brother's shoulder. It wasn't real. She was standing strong a moment before. "We're not going by choice." The audience sobbed. "You are our family. And I don't see how anyone can love us better," Gloss said.

"Bullshit," I snarled.

The Capitol loved them so much, yet they were the ones that were still rooting for Cato and I to win. "Of course it is. But you're going to get up there and do the same thing," Cinna said.

"Stop being right," I snapped.

"Not because you want to, but because you have to," Cinna added.

Cato needed Sponsors. We would get them. I knew that I couldn't rely on Haymitch. People still weren't that fond of him. I had to be charming tonight. "I still wish that you could be up there with me," I said, as he came to stand again.

Cinna brought a hand down and smiled at me. "I will be," he said, placing a hand on my chest, over my heart.

A little bit of noise from the stage drew me back to the screen. "So sweet. So sweet." Caesar then turned to Cashmere, who was crying even harder now. "Are you all right, dear?" Caesar asked.

"I'm sorry," she said weakly, brushing the tears from her eyes.

"That's all right."

"I just can't stop crying," she said with a small laugh.

Snorting loudly, I turned away from the stage, where Caesar continued to speak to the siblings. They probably had twice the amount of time with the both of them up there together. "God. Does anybody actually believe this?" I asked Cinna.

"Apparently, everybody," Haymitch said.

He was in a white suit with a black shirt on underneath. I assumed that they were attempting to match the two of us together. He was motioning to my Prep Team, who had returned, but were still sobbing. All of my team were sitting behind the stage and crying. Effie was watching them with sad eyes.

"She is very good," Effie commented.

"These Victors are angry, Aspen. They'll say anything to try and stop the Games. I suggest you do the same," Haymitch said.

"And what exactly do I say?" I asked. There was nothing that anyone could do to stop them. They were tradition. A few crying Tributes wouldn't stop anything. "Haymitch, it doesn't matter how much people want the Games to stop. They won't."

For the first time in a long time I saw a small smile settle over Haymitch's face. It was the same smile I had given to Katniss a million times before when Gale and I were about to do something stupid. "Don't worry about it. I've got it planned," Haymitch said.

"I don't like the sound of that," I told him.

He grinned and walked over to Portia again. The two of us were using the same area. I assumed that the other partners had gotten the same areas too. Because we were all friends... We knew each other... We would be comfortable around each other. Enobaria had just walked up to take her place on the staircase beside Gloss. From the stage I heard Cato's name being called. I turned back to see him walk out onto the stage and shake hands with Caesar. He - like me - was dressed in his wedding costume.

"Cato... You had the most beautiful ceremony yesterday. You got to marry the most beautiful District 12 resident that you could find. Excuse me! The most beautiful girl. Can you forgive me, Aspen?" Caesar asked, turning to backstage.

A camera came to position itself directly in front of me and Cinna stepped out of the way. My face quickly fell into a bright smile. "There's nothing to forgive, Caesar! You know how much I love you," I said, with a sickly sweet chirp in my voice.

Caesar laughed and Cato gave a big smile. "That I do!" Caesar called back before turning away. The moment that the cameras were taken away from me my blank face returned. "What a charming wife you have."

Cato gave a sly grin. "Yes, she is. It's how she caught me eye in the first Games," Cato told Caesar.

I blushed slightly. I didn't even want to think about our first meeting. It had been embarrassing enough the first time. "I don't believe that we've ever heard this story before. How, exactly, you found yourself attracted to Aspen in the first place," Caesar said.

I made a curious noise at the same time as the audience. I knew why Cato liked me and I knew why he hadn't stopped messing with me. But I never knew why he had been attracted to me. "I'd be more than happy to go over it. On our way on the train I saw her Reaping tape. I was astounded," Cato said.

A few female in the audience made noises of affection. I rolled my eyes. "Not to fear. He likes you much more," Cinna said.

"A fault on his part," I teased.

"I'd never seen someone as brave as her. And I couldn't deny that she was something to look at," Cato said, with a small laugh. The audience laughed with him. "It really did start innocently. I just wanted to mess with her. But that wasn't what happened."

Caesar looked like he might jump on Cato for the answer. The rest of the audience were on the edges of their seats. "What did happen?" Caesar prodded.

"She started to mess with me," Cato said. A few members of the audience laughed - so did I - as Cato continued to speak. "Time flew by and I began to realize that she was always in my mind. One way or another."

It made me feel slightly better that while I had been constantly thinking about Cato during the last Games, he had been thinking about me, too. "When did you know that you couldn't live without her?" Caesar asked.

I raised my eyebrows. Sometimes I really did love him. Cato seemed to think for a moment before looking at the ground. "When I saw her out in the field. With Rue," Cato admitted.

I twitched slightly at the reminder of the late little girl. "That was a very moving moment," Caesar said softly.

"She was so in love with the little girl, with the idea of saving her, that watching her lose her friend... It reminded me that this competition wasn't some thing that I should have been looking forward to for all my life. It reminded me that for people like her, for people like Rue, it was a nightmare. She gave me something that night," Cato said softly.

You could have heard a pin drop in the room. Even Cinna had stopped moving around to allow me to listen to him speak. "What was that?" Caesar asked.

He had calmed down but still looked like he might pass out from a heart attack at any moment. "The realization that there were things that I lacked. I wasn't the perfect Tribute. I lacked humanity." My heart gave a painful twinge. He had always had humanity. It had just been beaten down during his time in the Academy. "I lacked something to fight for," Cato added lowly.

Behind him, Gloss, Cashmere, and Enobaria were all watching closely. "And tell us, Cato, have you found something to fight for?" Caesar asked.

"Yes," Cato said, taking a deep breath and looking directly at Caesar. "I don't care if it's one hour, one day, or one week that we have left. I'll fight for her for every second, of every minute, of every hour, of every day."

There was an almost dangerous hiss to his voice. A moment after he had said it I realized that my eyes were watering with tears that I didn't want to fall. It would have been so much easier if he wasn't willing to fight for me. Cinna wipe my eyes and gave me a small smile. We both looked out to the audience to see that they were all crying. Some were giving rather loud sobs as others cried softly into their own hands. But they were all crying. Even Caesar was on the verge of tears. He grabbed his purple handkerchief and wiped his eyes.

He tucked it back into his pocket and sighed, looking back at Cato. "Oh, excuse me. I don't think I've ever heard something so sweet. I think that we can all say that the hardest part of all of this - the entire Quarter Quell - is your story. The fact that your time together was cut so painfully short," Caesar told Cato.

 _No fucking kidding._ I wanted years with Cato. I wanted to be able to know everything about him and vice versa. But we would never get that. The Capitol didn't want us to have that. "That's the whole thing, Caesar. Aspen and I - we've never had time," Cato said.

He was completely right. We never had time. That was why everything had happened between us was so fast. Because we had never had time. "Explain a bit, Cato," Caesar prompted.

"When we first met we had seven days to get to know each other. In those seven days I knew that I had feelings for her." A small smile crossed my lips. "And then we had those seventeen days in the Games. And in those seventeen days I realized that I was in love with her. I knew that I couldn't kill her." He wasn't the only one. I couldn't kill him either. "Three days after that, we got to sit down and talk about us. We were barely able to speak to each other until the Victory Tour. Sixteen days that we got to spend together. One day for the wedding photo shoot. And then the announcement of the Quarter Quell. And now we're here. Seven more days. And the Games... However long those will be. Do you know what that means?" Cato asked Caesar.

It was one of the rare times when a Tribute turned the table on Caesar and asked him a question. Caesar handled it well, though. "It means that we've seen far too little then what we deserve to see," Caesar answered.

 _Or I've gotten to experience far too little!_ My nails bit into my skin and Cinna uncurled them for me. I smiled weakly. "Yes. But to me it means that time is... irrelevant. In a year, Aspen and I have only spent fifty-two days together. But we've been through more than what most people will go through in a lifetime together," Cato said.

"That's very true. I think that the entire Capitol - all of Panem really - has just been enamored watching the two of you. It has been an honor," Caesar said, reaching out for Cato's hand.

Cato grabbed Caesar's hand and shook it. "Thank you, Caesar," Cato said softly.

There was a sudden eruption of noise as Cato went to stand with the other Tributes. Most of the people in the audience were clapping and cheering for Cato, many were still crying, but a good portion of them also looked angry. It was enough to surprise me. They were all on their feet and shouting loudly, each trying to speak over the next.

"Let them win!" a man in the middle of the audience yelled.

"Let them out of the Games!" a woman yelled.

My heart jumped into my throat as I turned to look at Cinna, completely shocked. Were we really making this work? Were they going to let us out of the Games? What would President Snow think? "Cancel the Games!" another woman yelled.

"Find new Tributes!" a man - not the same one that had yelled out earlier - added.

It was a long time that the screaming lasted. Cato was glancing back at the crowd as a stage director helped him to his spot. It was rougher than needed. For a moment I thought that the Games might start early. Cato did not look happy to have the man's hands on him. The stagehand ran off as Caesar tried to calm the audience down. More people had joined in on the screaming to stop the Games or let us go. Many were still crying. Enobaria patted him on the back and Gloss and Cashmere both nodded.

Haymitch walked back into my loading bay. We were both thrown by the reaction to Cato's interview. Even Cinna had stopped working to watch the reaction. "One thing that you can never fault Cato for is that the boy knows how to work a crowd," Haymitch said.

"That he does. He always had," I said.

It took Caesar almost ten full minutes to calm the crowd down enough to speak over them. For a moment I thought that they were just going to stop the Interviews. It was almost impossible for any of them to stop making noise. They were furious about what was happening to Cato and me. It took another two minutes and a promise from one of the directors that they would cancel the Interviews if the crowd couldn't stop. Which would have been a complete travesty, of course.

That was the only reason that they managed to silence themselves. After that Wiress had come onto the stage. Good for the Capitol, her interview was rather demure. She seemed to be a tiny bit on the senile side as she mostly talked about her children - of which I was pretty sure that she had none. I could tell that Caesar was trying to ensure that she didn't get too far off the rails. Caesar then welcomed Beetee onto the stage. He took his place with a polite round of applause. He wasn't that well-loved.

"Beetee... You have contributed so much to Panem over the years. I don't know who we will miss more. You or your brain," Caesar joked.

Or at least I was pretty sure that it was a joke. My brow furrowed at the comment. "That's a nice thing to say to someone that you've essentially sentenced to death," I snarled.

"They don't think beyond the end of their nose," Cinna said.

"I hope they realize that they're the ones that did this to us. We don't want this. I didn't want this," I snarled, mostly to myself as Cinna was at his desk working.

"Might I suggest that you not say something like that when we go into the Games? You won't last more than two minutes," Haymitch said.

I rolled my eyes. "I doubt they'd want me to last two minutes anyways," I said.

"Well considering I'll be right there with you I'd really appreciate that you didn't get us both blown up!" Haymitch snapped.

He didn't hang around. Haymitch stomped out of the room, leaving Portia to roll her eyes and follow. She must have been used to his attitude by now. Cinna placed down his pad and walked over to me. "He's just nervous. He hasn't done this in a long time. He's not a people person," Cinna said.

"And I am?" I asked.

Cinna nodded as he added a little dash of blush on my face. "I think so. You've certainly made Cato fall under your spell. Myself too," Cinna said.

"You both have terrible taste," I teased.

Cinna was the one person that could always manage to make me feel better. We both turned back to watch Caesar continue the interview. "If the Quarter Quell were written into law by men, certainly, it can be unwritten," Beetee said.

A small smile came over my face as we watched. Beetee wasn't the strongest person up there, he wasn't the most attractive of us, and he certainly wasn't the fastest. But that didn't mean that he wasn't one of the best. "He's smarter than anyone else standing up there," I told Cinna.

Cinna glanced up at me. "Are you including yourself?"

"Yes," I immediately said.

I was no fool but I was nothing compared to Beetee. Even Wiress was nothing compared to Beetee. Caesar seemed more than a little uncomfortable at Beetee's answer. "Yes. Interesting concept," he said, leading the conversation in a different direction.

As I listened to their conversation I was sure that it was shorter than any of the other Interviews. The Capitol had probably gotten a little nervous that Beetee was going to say something else that made them sound like fools. He was ushered off of the stage and back to the stairs quickly. I noticed that, with each additional answer that was given, the audience was becoming more and more restless. They were as unhappy with this as I was. He took his place and I saw that Wiress was giving him a quick nod.

Cato, Enobaria, Gloss, and Cashmere all seemed to be rather pleased with Beetee's uncomfortable interview. The crowd didn't cheer for him. Mags didn't say much in her Interview but she nodded vigorously and gave a friendly smile. She did get a good round of applause. I figured that it was partially out of pity and partially because they liked her demeanor. Then it was Finnick's turn. He received the loudest cheer - other than maybe Cato. When the crowd calmed down Caesar turned to Finnick with a smile.

"Finnick... I understand that you have a message for somebody out there. A special somebody." Caesar started chuckling as the women in the audience continued to shout. "Can we hear it?" Caesar asked.

My heart skipped a beat. Was he ready for people to know about Annie? They thought that their relationship was like brother and sister. Like our own. Finnick turned to the camera. "My love, you have my heart for all eternity and if I die in that arena, my last thought will be of your lips," Finnick said wistfully.

He actually looked like he might have been on the verge of tears. I couldn't tell whether or not he was acting or he genuinely was that upset that he was about to leave Annie for good. This time my heart gave a painful twist. I wasn't the only person out here that had someone that they were fighting for. And I was planning on slaughtering Finnick - if it came down to it - to keep Cato alive. Even though Finnick was only back here because of me. The women in the audience went insane at the sweet poem.

"Poor Annie," I mumbled.

"What was that?" Cinna asked with a raised brow.

I didn't know whether or not Cinna knew about Finnick and Annie but the cameras were still watching us. I trusted Cinna, not them. So I shook my head. "Nothing. I just think that some people forget that Cato and I aren't the only ones up here that have someone that we love. Some of them are married with kids. They have whole lives that they had to give up because of something stupid that I did," I said slowly.

Cinna turned me to face him and grabbed my hands. "Never think that anything that you did was stupid. It was brave. Everything that you've done over the last year was brave," Cinna said.

I would always think that it was stupid and foolish. "Maybe. But look at everything that I've mucked up," I said, motioning around.

The entire Games this year had been to undo all of the hope that I had accidentally given the Districts when Cato and I had won the Games last year. All of this was done to make me public enemy number one and eliminate all hope of a rebellion. I could only hope that my death would make me the martyr. Keep the rebellion going. Have Cato be the Mockingjay. He could do it. He was much better than I was.

"Look at everything that you've created," Cinna said.

"These Games?" I questioned.

"No. You've created a love story that can power generations. That could power a rebellion. Not just that. You've created a leader that someone could really follow."

Was I really someone that could power a rebellion? I wasn't so sure. It seemed like everyone had faith in me, except for me. They all seemed to think that I really was the Mockingjay. I wanted to be the Mockingjay. Just admitting it was enough for me to let out a soft sigh. I did want to do this... But I couldn't, could I? No. Probably not. As much as I wanted to do it, I just wasn't sure that I had it in me. In fact I was sure that I didn't have what it took to watch hundreds or thousands of people die in a rebellion that I had accidentally started. That, until recently, I hadn't wanted.

No matter that they were fighting for something that they believed in too, I would never be able to get over the fact that it was me that had started this. All of the deaths that had already been caused - and would be caused - were on me. I tried to get those thoughts out of my mind and watch the other Interviews. The female from District 5 had a rather lackluster Interview. The male from District 5 seemed like he was a little drunk. I wasn't surprised. He had vomited wine on the floor during the training sessions.

Caesar had seemed to want to usher him off of the stage as quickly as possible. The female Morphling barely spoke during her Interview. She was badly shaking. I could only remember her painting on Cato's arm during training and him smiling at her, describing District 2. It was what she had been painting. The male Morphling went the same way. During his I could only remember the light in his eyes that I had ever seen was while he was painting yellow flowers on my cheeks.

It was the only time that I'd really seen light in his eyes. It had been enough to get Cato and me to smile. We had let them paint of us for hours. I had laughed about the feeling of the brushes on my cheeks while his District partner had been painting Cato's arm. When he was allowed to shakily leave the stage he took a place next to his District partner. They both looked on the verge of falling over. Johanna was called out onto the stage and she stomped out angrily. She looked pissed.

"Oh, look, it's my number one fan," I joked with Cinna, who laughed.

Caesar smiled at her but she didn't bother to return the gesture. "We have seen a lot of tears here tonight. But I see no tears in Johanna's eyes. Johanna, you are angry." Johanna let out a humorless laugh. "Tell me why," Caesar said.

He was going to regret asking her that. "Well, yes, I'm angry. You know, I'm getting totally screwed over here," Johanna said, still laughing as she shook her head.

"Uh-huh," Caesar prompted.

"The deal was that if I win the Hunger Games, I get to live the rest of my life in peace." Caesar nodded again as Johanna looked straight in the camera. "But now you want to kill me again. Well, you know what?" She gave Caesar no chance to answer. "Fuck that! And fuck everybody that had anything to do with it!" she shouted.

The crowd was jeering, probably trying to get her to leave. "Go Johanna," I mumbled.

She was pushed off of the stage. I could hear her heels clomping against the floor as she stomped away. I couldn't help that the edges of my lips were turning up slightly. I didn't like Johanna one bit, but I had to say that she had some major guts for doing and saying that. She wasn't sent to the stairs. Rather she was led backstage to cool down for a little while. The rest of the Tributes were all grinning and laughing under their breath.

"She reminds me a tiny bit of you," Cinna said, startling me slightly.

I turned to him with narrowed eyes. "I don't know if that's a good thing or not," I told Cinna, who smiled back at me.

"Trust me, it's a very good thing."

The crowd outside were still jeering at Johanna and interrupting the calm that Caesar was trying to create. "All right then. One woman's opinion. Who's next?" Caesar asked, turning awkwardly back to the stage.

"All right, turn around," Cinna instructed.

I did so as Caesar continued to try and calm down the shouting crowd. "I know it's a bad break for everyone involved," Caesar called out.

The crowd finally calmed down enough for him to be able to speak again. But even now they were still shouting back and forth with each other. The Interviews were very tense. Far more than they had been before. Woof was then invited out onto the stage. The crowd only quieted because he was so quiet. Blight's Interview was reasonably uneventful. Caesar must have been grateful for it after what had happened with Johanna. He was an extremely friendly man that was friends with many of the other Victors. I had seen him drinking and laughing with Haymitch before.

It hurt to know that it was my fault that he was back here. He was one of the few Tributes that had smiled at me and introduced himself rather than insult me, glare at me, or try to recruit me. Cecelia was rather demure during her Interview. I could only see the shadows of three children, clinging onto her and refusing to let go. I had wanted to ask her about the uprising in District 8. I supposed that it was too late now. Woof was clearly completely out of it. He was old and senile. But he always had a smile on.

The District 9 female was older and quieter. She was smiling rather politely and I found myself impressed with her. She clearly hated being here but she was putting on a brave face. I kept seeing the horrified face of the girl that I had stabbed last year. Had she trained her? Her District partner seemed much less friendly. I had a bad feeling that I would need to avoid him. The District 10 female seemed extremely nervous. She stuttered a fair bit and nearly fell a few times. I felt horrible for thinking that she would be no problem to deal with. Her District partner wasn't much older than me. He would be a problem. He didn't seem overly friendly.

District 11 was still a sore spot with me. Chaff was another version of Thresh. Seeder was the type of woman that I thought that Rue could have grown up to be. Her Interview was fast. She reminded me of a Seam resident. She was clearly strong. She must have kept up her strength even after the Games that she won. Chaff was a little more nutty. In his Interview he was, too. I was brought back to the kiss that we had shared and nearly smiled. He was simply a happy - drunk, but less so than Haymitch - man.

They were in the middle of Chaff's Interview when Cinna spoke for the first time in nearly an hour. "I think I'm done," he said.

He was giving me a long look. Despite the fact that he had been working on the dress for nearly two hours there still seemed to be no differences in the dress. He must have done something. Cinna didn't like to leave things be. "Will I be twirling tonight?" I asked.

I figured that I would be but I wanted to ask anyways. "Save it for the end," Cinna said.

"Okay."

Just as I opened my mouth to thank him for always being there Effie rounded the corner. "One minute. Is she ready?" Effie asked.

"Yes," Cinna told Effie, who nodded and disappeared back around the corner. If all went according to plan, this would be the last time that I would speak to Caesar Flickerman. "Aspen. You were the most beautiful bride. I was so proud to walk with you last night. I'm proud to even be the tiniest bit a part of your family."

I smiled and grabbed his hands. "Thank you. And you are my family, Cinna. I never knew my parents. I never got to see them. But that doesn't matter. Because I have you. You aren't my father but you're better than anything that I ever deserved. Thank you for being here for me," I said softly.

I would always love my parents, despite the fact that I had never known them. But that wasn't to say that I didn't have other family. Haymitch, Cato, Finnick, Cinna, Effie, Gale, Katniss, Prim, Ms. Everdeen, and even the Hadley's. They were all my family. In fact, I was lucky enough to have more family than most people did. It was just something that had taken me a little too long to realize. They were the ones that I was doing this for.

"I always will be. I'll always be with you right here. Remember that," Cinna said.

"I know."

"Let's go show them what real beauty looks like," Effie said.

I whipped back to see that she was watching with a smile. I gave her a weak one in return. She gasped softly. "Oh... Aspen." She grabbed my hands and I smiled at her. "You were the most beautiful bride," Effie said, her voice cracking pitifully.

"Thank you, Effie," I said, smiling.

The three of us headed towards the loading bay. "It has to go higher," I heard Johanna snap at her Stylist.

"Pretty, pretty, Aspen, they're going to adore you. And there are a lot of Sponsors in the audience, so of course, just be your usual self," Effie said. I nodded with a bored stare. "Actually, be your happier self."

Snorting under my breath, I turned back to Effie. She hadn't meant it as an insult. She had really meant it. "I'll miss you saying things like that, Effie," I told her with a smile.

A small scoff came from behind me and I turned back to see that two workers were bringing Johanna back to the stage. "Really? We have to see you in the wedding dress again?" Johanna sneered.

A nasty glare settled on my face. I had just about had it with Johanna - and everyone else - giving me those scathing comments. "Snow made me wear it. You know, Johanna, I'm no happier about being here than you are. Maybe I feel even worse. Because yeah, you're back here. I get that you feel like fucking shit for being here. Guess what? I do, too! Because everyone out here blames me for something that I didn't mean to do. Because everyone out there had to walk away from their families, their lives, things that they've fought for. Things that they all earned. Things that I took from them on accident," I sneered.

Cinna, Haymitch, and Effie were watching me closely. "All I wanted was to get out of there alive and show Snow that he doesn't rule everything. So I'm sorry. I'm sorry for standing up to him. I'm sorry for trying to change things. And most of all, I'm so sorry that I screwed up your plans. But remember that I wasn't the person who fucked up your life in the first place. So next time, just think, you aren't the only one who got their lives torn out from under them. I've got all of this on my shoulders and I do not need you making it worse," I said darkly.

Johanna hadn't once turned away from my dark glare. She merely watched with an amused face. She nodded at me slowly. "And she finally grows a backbone," Johanna said with a light lilt to her voice.

Caesar's voice brought me out of my staring contest with her. "Ladies and gentlemen, please welcome... You know her..." Caesar began to introduce me.

Johanna crossed in front of me and fixed my pearl necklace. "Make him pay for it," Johanna said.

I nodded, giving her a small smile, as Caesar continued. "...as the Girl on Fire!" Caesar yelled. Johanna was dragged away back to the stairs as Cinna nudged me forward. "The Victor of last year's Hunger Games. Aspen An -! Excuse me! Aspen Hadley!" The doors open and I walked out onto the stage. I smiled and waved to the crowd, who were in an absolute uproar. "Aspen Hadley, you look fabulous. Doesn't she?"

Suddenly I understood what Johanna meant about making him pay for it. Up on the stage was the first time that I realized the depth of betrayal felt among the Victors and the rage that accompanied it. But they were so smart, so wonderfully smart about how they played it, because it all came back to reflect on the government and President Snow in particular. Not everyone. There were the old throwbacks, like Enobaria, who was just here for another Games, and those too baffled or drugged or lost to join in on the attack. But there were enough Victors who still had the wits and the nerve to come out fighting.

Once more the audience cheered. It was much louder than anyone else had gotten. I figured that it was just because they were excited to hear what kind of sweet words I would give for Cato. But the wedding dress had the opposite effect. Everyone was crying and shrieking that at least a minute of my Interview was eaten up, just waiting for them to quiet down. In the meantime, I laughed and swatted playfully at Caesar. Right in the front row - as promised - were both my family and Cato's.

Katniss was in a pretty red dress that looked like one of Cinna's designs. I wondered if he was trying to have her support the Girl on Fire thing. Prim was in a little pink dress and I gave her a small wink. She waved back to me. Ms. Everdeen was in a nice blue dress and she gave me a small smile. Gale was in a white suit and looked anything but happy about it. He was staring darkly but his lips gave a small twitch as I laughed softly at the look on his face.

Damien and Alana were complimenting each other in a black dress and suit. They both gave small smiles that I returned. Marley was bouncing happily on her mother's lap, who was wearing a dress like Katniss's. She gave me a small wave. Dean - who was in a blue suit - gave me a small smile. I nodded back. Aiden was staring at me and I rolled my eyes, looking past him. Perhaps he'd be nice at my funeral. Leah was laughing as she waved at me. Skye and Julie both gave loud cheers and I waved at them.

Caesar's call brought me back over to him and I smiled brightly. Even from here I could feel the hate and disgust rolling off of Gale. "My, my! Now, Aspen, this is a very big and very emotional night for all of us. Wouldn't you say?" Caesar asked.

The audience was still roaring and we had to speak loudly just to be heard. _Don't say anything stupid._ "Don't go crying on me now, Caesar," I teased gently, unable to find anything else to say that wasn't either rude or unintelligent.

Caesar turned and grinned at me. "I can't make any promises. You know me," he said.

We were still joining hands as I laughed. "You know I wouldn't believe you, even if you did," I teased.

The audience joined in our laughter. Unlike last year, I wasn't nervous at all. Caesar laughed and clapped his hands together. "I love her! The Girl on Fire is so cheeky," he said. He laughed again before turning back to me with a slightly more serious face. "But, Aspen, on a more serious note. How are you handling things?"

 _You still need Sponsors for Cato_. "I think I'm handling things about as well as I possibly can. Quite a few things have not worked out the way that I thought that they would," I said softly.

"Would you care to explain?" Caesar asked.

 _No. "_ Of course. Over the past year so many things have happened to me that I never expected to happen. Prim was Reaped with her name in the ball only once." People probably saw the small cringe I made at the memory. Prim cringed too and I wanted to call out an apology. "I became a Tribute in the Seventy-Fourth Hunger Games. I was a Victor of the Seventy-Fourth Hunger Games. I became a favorite of the Capitol. Now I'm back for the third Quarter Quell. It's all so incredible," I said, gritting my teeth. Gale looked like he might light himself on fire. "But there's one thing that means so much more to me than the rest combined."

Haymitch would kill me himself if I didn't at least try and do something to stop the Games. _Play into their weak spot_. "And what is that?" Caesar asked.

"I met the man that I didn't think was possible for me to meet. I met Cato. And I fell in love with him," I said brightly, turning back to Cato. He gave me a small wink. I turned back to Caesar and smiled. "I even got to marry him. I think that I loved him from the first moment that I spoke to him. I just tried to deny it."

Part of it was the truth, and I hated admitting it, but I knew that I had to. Even from here I could feel Cato smirking at me. As much as we really did love each other we also liked to bust each other's' asses. "And it is just so heartbreaking that we have to watch your story come to an end like this," Caesar said, sobbing softly.

The rest of the audience started to weep. I smiled at him and shook my head. "Who's to say that it's ending?" I asked Caesar, who gave me an interested grin. "I don't think that this is going to end our story. They say that true love is eternal. That it never dies. I don't think that we can ever die. I never thought that I would fall in love with someone. But then I met him. And I just knew... that no one would ever mean what he meant to me."

My body gave a slightly painful twinge because it wasn't completely true. Gale still meant the world to me and somewhere in the back of my mind I still had some feelings for him. I hated having to say that with him sitting not even twenty feet from me. "And what does he mean to you?" Caesar asked.

"Everything," I answered immediately. "I can have a hard time showing people - saying - what I mean. I'm not overly emotional. But he deserves to know what he means to me. He means everything. He means more to me then my own life does. I don't think I could stand to be without him. I never knew what it meant to be in love, to love someone more than life itself. I never knew what that meant until I met him."

"Oh Aspen..." Caesar muttered as he trailed off. He placed a hand on my shoulder before giving me a bitter smile. There were tears in the corner of his eyes. "You are a well-spoken girl. And a beautiful one at that."

"Thank you," I said softly.

Caesar turned back to Cato briefly. "You are an extraordinarily lucky man, Cato."

Cato was watching the Interview with a small smile. His hands were clasped in front of him. "Yes I am," he responded, giving me a little wink.

I smiled back at him and gave the automatic response that I knew that everyone would want to hear. "He's not the only lucky one," I said softly.

The audience all cheered and Caesar made a noise that sounded somewhere in between a cheer and a choke. He had his finger in his mouth as he seemed to be resisting crying. "Cancel the Games!" a man in the audience shouted.

It was just audible over the cheers of the audience. I smirked down at the floor. Maybe it was working. "Let them out!" a woman yelled after him.

Caesar was smart enough to ignore them both. "Well you two are absolutely perfect together!" Caesar chirped. The rest of the audience cheered happily with him. The crowd quieted and Caesar turned back to me once more. "Now, Aspen, that's the dress that you wore last night, correct?"

"Yes."

"And why have we decided to see you in it again?" Caesar asked curiously.

I smiled and nodded, letting the dress fluff out. "President Snow thought that since my time with Cato is being cut short I should be in the dress once more. He thought that it might remind me of the best time of my life while I prepare for the worst," I said.

Caesar smiled and clapped his hands together. "Well, President Snow, as usual, was right. Was he not, folks?" Caesar asked the crowd, who cheered loudly. "I love it! I love it! Don't you love it, folks? It's incredible. It's so gorgeous." I looked like a damn peacock. "Will you do us the honor? Please? Please? Please?"

Cinna was right about wanting me to spin. I should have known that Caesar would ask. And this was where I got to find out exactly what it was that Cinna had done to the dress. Just in case the flames were a little higher than I had been expecting - like during my first Tribute Parade when they had acted as a quick change screen - I stepped closer towards the edge of the stage. At least if I fell off I could trust Gale to catch me. Cinna was now in the audience and he nodded. It was time.

So I began to spin slowly and watch as flames licked at the edge of the dress. I smirked and continued to spin. The flames slowly rose up the dress and I watched as they began to dissolve the dress. The audience was shouting and yelling at the theatricality. The dress continued to dissolve and I watched as a grey pattern appeared underneath it. I continued to spin until the dress had completely melted off of my body and left a grey and white slightly-fitted dress that also had somewhat of a blue tinge.

"Oh, my God!" Caesar yelled.

At least I still wasn't dusted in coal powder. No. I was not naked. I was in a dress that was just slightly tighter of a design than my wedding dress. The main difference was that this was the color of coal and made of tiny feathers. Wonderingly, I lifted my long, flowing sleeves into the air, and that was when I saw myself on the television screen. Clothed in black except for the white patches on my sleeves. Or should I say my wings. _A Mockingjay._

"Oh, my! It's a bird. It's got feathers. It's like a bird. It's like a..." Caesar trailed off.

"Like a Mockingjay," I was barely ale to breathe out.

The audience were all laughing and cheering and I smirked as I looked over at Cinna. They didn't quite understand the hidden message to the Districts, but I did. I was the Mockingjay and I always would be. Cinna believed in me. And that was good enough for me. Although suddenly I realized the horror. While everyone else was shouting and cheering with glee, even my friends and family and Cato and the other Victors, I knew what Cinna had just done.

A shadow of recognition flickered across Caesar's face. Did he know? I had always thought that he was so clueless about the real problem. But right now I knew that he knew more than he was letting on. I could tell that he knew that the Mockingjay wasn't just my token. That it had come to symbolize so much more. That what will be seen as a flashy costume change in the Capitol is resonating in an entirely different way throughout the Districts. But he made the best of it.

"Your stylist certainly has outdone himself this time, hasn't he? What theatricality! Cinna! Take a bow," Caesar called.

The cameras turned to Cinna, who gave a slight bow. Suddenly I was so afraid for him. What had he done? Something terribly dangerous. An act of rebellion in itself. And he'd done it for me. I remembered his words... _Don't worry. I always channel my emotions into my work. That way I don't hurt anyone but myself._ I was afraid he had hurt himself beyond repair. The significance of my fiery transformation would not be lost on President Snow. The audience, who had been stunned into silence, broke into wild applause. I could barely hear the buzzer that indicated that my three minutes were up.

Caesar thanked me but no one could hear it. So I turned, walking across the stage. I could hear Prim cheering loudly and I smiled at her. Katniss and Ms. Everdeen were clapping happily and smiling up at me. Gale was not cheering but he did send me a little wink. I shook my head and smiled. As I walked to take my spot, Cato gave me a small smile. I nodded at him and took my place next to Chaff. There was only one spot next to me that would be for Haymitch. Caesar had just called him out.

It took a very long time for the audience to quiet down. Haymitch walked out onto the stage and shook hands with Caesar. His hair had not been cut - I assumed that he had refused - but it had been brushed and slicked back. "Haymitch. Welcome back. It's certainly been a long time," Caesar chirped.

Haymitch laughed and shook his head. "Oh not quite long enough," he said.

A few people laughed in the audience with him - mainly my family and Cato's. Most of the Victors laughed, too. Caesar laughed loudly to encourage more of the audience to join him. "You were a funny man back then and you're a funny man today! The last time that you competed in the Games was a Quarter Quell. What do you think that this Quarter Quell will be like? Do you think that you have an advantage?" Caesar asked.

Haymitch scowled and shook his head. "No," he immediately answered.

Caesar motioned for Haymitch to continue. "Really?" Caesar asked, looking surprised.

Haymitch had yelled at me a million times that I wasn't friendly enough during my Interviews. He was much less friendly than I was. "I don't think that anyone other than the Capitol has an advantage. I just know that this one will be even worse than the last one," Haymitch said.

How would it be worse? Haymitch had lost his friends, his girlfriend, and his family the last time that he had been in the Games. "And why is that?" Caesar asked.

Haymitch turned and motioned to the Victors that were all standing behind him. "Because of all of these people standing behind us," Haymitch said. "Because of those two standing right there."

He motioned to both Cato and myself. I gave a soft smile as the crowd went into an uproar. Caesar smiled awkwardly and nodded at Haymitch. "And you must be proud of those two," Caesar added.

Haymitch nodded. I was curious to hear just how proud of me he was. "I am. Both of them. I'm so proud of Aspen. She's done so much more than I ever thought that she could. She's just like her parents, strong and brave, but more importantly, she loves just like them too. Not just her husband, I've seen how many others she loves. Including myself. She's half of the reason that I'm even still alive. I probably would have drank myself into oblivion some time ago. She keeps me on my toes," Haymitch said softly.

Tears rose to my eyes and I blinked them back. Haymitch had no clue what he meant to me. As much as I liked to snap and argue with him, he was still one of the most important things in the world to me. Caesar smiled at my District partner. "You sound very proud of her. Almost like a father would be," Caesar gently prodded.

"She's like a daughter to me," Haymitch added softly. I smiled and nodded down at him. He was a pain in my ass but he - like Cinna - was like a father to me.

"Very sweet. I'm sure that she feels the same. Thank you, Haymitch. We look forward to seeing you in the Games," Caesar said.

Haymitch's buzzer went off and he shook Caesar's hand again, coming back up the stairs to take his place next to me. I leaned over and gave him a small kiss on the cheek. The crowd cheered loudly and many began to cry. I heard more people shouting for the Games to be called off. Because I had a husband, because my new father was up here and shouldn't have been taken away from me, and so many other things. But it was all because of me. All of the shouts were for me.

"Now! We - What - What is this?" Caesar asked, as a screen dropped. He looked extremely confused, as did everyone else. Even me. "What's happening? It's... Can someone turn this off?"

People from backstage were running back and forth to try and raise the screen again. It was the same screen that had featured Cato and I's kiss at President Snow's party during his interview last year. It was also the same one that had showed the highlight reel during our Crowning Ceremony. There was a photo on the screen this year. It was all black and white. Actually it was mostly black. There was a tiny black dot in the center of the image. What the hell was that?

"Is that an ultrasound?" Finnick asked curiously.

The more that I stared at it the more that I realized that it was an ultrasound. I had seen photos of Prim's before. But why the hell was it up here? "Why is an ultrasound up on the screen?" Caesar asked.

People from the Capitol were running back and forth to solve it. The audience was about whose it was. "How did that get up there? How did someone get their hands on this?" Cato asked out loud.

My head snapped back to him. Did he know what this was? Caesar turned back to him, just as surprised. The audience had now gone silent. "Do you know what this is?" Caesar asked Cato.

Cato's head dropped in something akin to shame before looking back up. "Yes." Even my eyebrows raised. "We didn't mean to tell anyone about it. Not this way. We didn't want it to get in the way of the Games. We've caused enough trouble," Cato said softly.

My stomach dropped and my knees buckled slightly as I nearly collapsed. People were shouting back and forth as were the Victors. No one knew whether to look at Cato of myself. I felt like I was about to empty my stomach onto the floor and it was not because of an unborn baby. Haymitch wrapped his hand around my own. Probably for the audience and to keep me from falling over. He must have known how stunned I was. Haymitch turned back and gave Cato and impressed smirk.

"D-D-D-Do you mean to tell us that t-this is Aspen and your..." Caesar trailed off weakly.

This was what Haymitch had meant about having a plan. This was their plan. And I felt like I was about to keel over and die. Out in the audience both Cato and my families were snapping back and forth with each other. Gale looked like he might come up on the stage and strangle either Cato or myself. I wanted to shake my head and tell him that it wasn't true but I knew that I couldn't. I had to play this one out. The audience was in a complete frenzy.

"Child. Yes. We just found out yesterday," Cato said, looking over at me and giving me a small smile. The crowd was shouting loudly as I turned back and gave him a small smile. "Someone must have gotten hold of the picture."

My knees were still shaking as the audience went from confused to angry. They were clearly buying into the blatant lie. Everyone was shouting. People were on their feet and louder than I had ever heard them before. The Interviews had already been hanging on by a thread but now it was a nightmare. There was no going back from this. Caesar began to walk around the stage and motion downwards to try and calm the audience down. But it wasn't going to work.

If things were less serious I would have laughed. He had done it again. Dropped a bomb that wiped out the efforts of every Tribute who came before him. Well, maybe not. Maybe this year he had only lit the fuse on a bomb that the Victors themselves had been building. Hoping someone would be able to detonate it. Perhaps thinking it would be me in my bridal gown. Not knowing how much I relied on Cinna's talents, whereas Cato needed nothing more than his wits. The way we had always been. He was the talker.

"All right. This is news! Let's find out more," Caesar said, turning back to Cato and I. The crowd wasn't being quite enough to be able to speak. "Calm down. This is news to all of us."

"Call off the Games!" a man yelled out.

More joined in after him. Caesar continued to attempt to hush the crowd but nothing was working. "All right. Let's..." Caesar trailed off, unable to speak over the shouts.

"Stop the Games!" a woman yelled.

"Everybody, calm down. It's a great night. A great night," Caesar was trying to solve the uproar desperately. "This is news to all of us. All right, all right, all right. We're going to find out what we do about this."

"Cancel the Games!"

"Stop the Games!"

As the bomb exploded, it sent accusations of injustice and barbarism and cruelty flying out in every direction. I thought that the roof was going to explode from all of the noise. Even the most Capitol-loving, Games-hungry, bloodthirsty person out there couldn't ignore, at least for a moment, how horrific the whole thing was. I was pregnant.

The audience couldn't absorb the news right away. It had to strike them and sink in and be confirmed by other voices before they began to sound like a herd of wounded animals, moaning, shrieking, calling for help. And me? I knew that my face was projected in a tight close-up on the screen, but I didn't make any effort to hide it. Because for a moment, even I was working through what Cato has said. It was something that I had vaguely mentioned last night.

Had I tipped him off about it on the roof? Wasn't it that thing I dreaded most about the wedding, about the future - the loss of my children to the Games? And it could be true now, couldn't it? If I hadn't spent my life building up layers of defenses until I recoiled at even the suggestion of marriage or a family? Caesar couldn't rein in the crowd again, not even when the last buzzer sounded to signal the end of the Interviews. I could see Caesar's lips moving, but the place was in total chaos and I couldn't hear a word.

Only the blast of the anthem, cranked up so loud that I could feel it vibrating through my bones, letting us know where we stood in the program. As I turned back I saw Cato. Whether or not he was acting was another question. Tears were slowly running down his face as Enobaria took his hand. How real were the tears? Was that an acknowledgment that he had been stalked by the same fears that I had? That every Victor had? Every parent in every District in Panem?

Was that how everyone felt? Was that just to show exactly how everyone in the Districts felt? That fear... The fear after having lived through the Games themselves. Knowing how horrible the Games were. I looked back to the crowd, but the faces of Rue's mother and father swam before my eyes. Their sorrow. Their loss. I turned spontaneously to Chaff and offered my hand. _One last rebellion_. I felt my fingers close around the stump that now completed his arm and held fast.

And then it happened. Up and down the row, the Victors began to join hands. Some right away, like the Morphlings, or Wiress and Beetee. Others unsure but caught up in the demands of those around them, like Enobaria with Gloss. By the time the anthem played its final strains, all twenty-four of us stood in the two unbroken lines in what must have been the first public show of unity among the Districts since the Dark Days. You could see the realization of that as the screens began to pop into blackness. It was too late, though. In the confusion they didn't cut us off in time. Everyone had seen.

The audience began to boo at us and I watched as they all stood and began to shout wickedly. They seemed in between cancelling the Games and wanting us all to start fighting. I stared at the audience and realized that my family - despite still looking shocked - also looked proud of me. The lights were turned out and the audience began to scream at the sudden darkness. I felt a hand wrap around my arm and I stumbled as I was lead off of the stage and thrown into the somewhat lit backstage.

I was quickly joined by Finnick. Haymitch was speaking with Cato, Brutus, Cinna, and Effie. "You two work fast, huh?" Finnick asked. I nudged him roughly. He wrapped an arm over my shoulder and leaned into me. "Good work up there."

"I didn't know," I said softly.

Finnick nodded and walked me towards the others. "I know. You don't think that he managed that by himself?" Finnick asked.

More than one person had known about this. "You helped?" I whispered.

"Haymitch, your husband, and myself. We all might talk a little more than you think that we do," Finnick teased.

"You did that?" I asked.

I wasn't shocked to know that Haymitch had helped but I was a little surprised to know that Finnick had had a hand in it. Finnick shook his head. "I helped. The idea was Cato's though," Finnick said.

We all had done our part to try and end the Games. Whether or not it would work remained to be seen. "Thanks. It might not work but at least we tried," I said softly.

Finnick placed a hand on my shoulder. "Tell you what. You can name them Finnick Junior," he teased.

I laughed and shoved him roughly. "Shut up."

Finnick smiled at me for a moment before walking me over to the others. "I'll see you tomorrow morning," Finnick said.

I wrapped him in a hug as he pressed a small kiss to the side of my cheek. "Good luck out there. Be careful," I told him softly.

"You too, mommy dearest," Finnick teased.

Suddenly everything was thrown into motion again. The Capitol was not happy. For a while the Victors came back and looped their hands again, everyone talking. There was just as much disorder backstage now. The lights went out and we were left to stumble back into the Training Center. I eventually lost hold of Chaff, but Cato guided me into an elevator with Haymitch. Finnick and Johanna tried to join us, but a harried Peacekeeper blocked their way and we shot upward alone.

Maybe I would see them tomorrow. Maybe they actually could be on my side. Allies... We would have to see. Laughing under my breath at everything that happened, I turned back to where Cato was. He looked a little awkward. Maybe he felt guilty. As we shot up I noticed that many of the other Victors and cameras were watching us. Cato smiled down at me and placed a small kiss on my lips. About halfway up to the twelfth floor I realized something. I was supposed to have been able to see my family one last time.

"What about our families?" I asked Haymitch.

Haymitch glanced over at me and sighed sadly. "What happened out there - it ended things earlier then we were planning. And after that you won't be allowed to see them again. Don't worry, they're safe. They're on hovercrafts back to District 2 and District 12. To get them there quicker. They'll be there in time to watch the Games tomorrow," Haymitch said.

"Okay," I muttered. At least they were safe.

The elevator finally dinged back on the twelfth floor. I realized that people were already there and waiting for us. Those few that were able to rush out and beat us here, likely before Peacekeepers were able to stop them. We would have to be very careful with what was going to happen in the next day. They were definitely not happy with what we had done. Joining hands or the baby bomb. We would have to figure something out. Brutus and Cinna were upstairs with us. The Prep Team was absent and I found myself a little nervous for what had happened to them. Had we accidentally gotten them hurt?

Once we had finished saying goodbye to Brutus - who I wasn't sure knew about the lie or not - and Cinna - who had work to do before the Games tomorrow - we went to the table. Dinner was set out but no one seemed very interested in eating. Instead we all went to get changed. Cato pulled on a pair of black track pants and a white shirt while I found a pair of black running shorts and a blue shirt. We both walked out to sit in the living room again. I grabbed a glass of water as I sat next to Cato on the couch.

The moment we sat down on the couch, Cato gripped my shoulders. "There isn't much time, so tell me. Is there anything I have to apologize for?" Cato asked.

"Nothing," I said.

And it was the truth. I wasn't angry with what he had done. I was stunned. Of course, the reaction was genuine. I was shocked, just for a different reason that anyone else was. I hadn't been expecting him to do that. It was a big leap to take without my okay, but I was just as glad that I didn't know, didn't have time to second-guess him, or to let any guilt over Gale detract from how I really felt about what Cato did. Which was empowered.

It was a good thing, because I didn't like the looks on their faces in the crowd. Ms. Everdeen, my sisters, and Cato's family and our friends would have to deal with the fallout from the night. Just a brief hovercraft ride away was an arena where, tomorrow, Cato and I and the other Tributes would face our own form of punishment. But even if all of us met terrible ends, something happened on that stage tonight that couldn't be undone. We Victors staged our own uprising, and maybe, just maybe, the Capitol wouldn't be able to contain this one.

We waited for the others to return, but when the elevator opened again, only Haymitch and Effie appeared. Darella - Cato's Escort - his Prep Team, my own, Cinna, his Stylist, Portia, and Haymitch's Prep Team were nowhere to be found. Even Brutus was nowhere to be found. Where the hell was everyone? Had we done something even more dangerous than I had thought? What we had done was something that had never been seen before.

"It's madness out there. Everyone's been sent home and they've canceled the recap of the Interviews on television," Haymitch said.

Cato and I hurried to the window and tried to make sense of the commotion far below us on the streets. "What are they saying? Are they asking the president to stop the Games?" Cato asked.

"I don't think they know themselves what to ask. The whole situation is unprecedented. Even the idea of opposing the Capitol's agenda is a source of confusion for the people here. But there's no way Snow would cancel the Games. They can't. Baby bomb was a stroke of genius," Haymitch said, turning to Cato. He nodded. "Unfortunately, Games are still on. You know that, right?"

I do. Of course, he could never back down now. The only option left to him is to strike back, and strike back hard. "The others went home?" I asked.

"They were ordered to. I don't know how much luck they're having getting through the mob," Haymitch said.

"What about Effie?" I asked.

"She has to stay. We have no other Mentor for District 12 so Effie will serve as the acting Mentor. She's the only one who has been allowed to stay. But she'll be essentially confined to the Games Center and heavily guarded," Haymitch said.

"Okay," I muttered.

In the meantime, Haymitch was pacing back and forth. "This is goodbye, for now. But I'll see the both of you in the morning," Haymitch said.

We all nodded and turned to stand. But before we did, Effie stepped forward. "Presents for the boys," she said.

She was holding two small boxes in her hands. "What is this?" I asked.

"Your token. Remember?" I nodded. I already had my pin. I almost forgot about the others. "Hair for me. Pin for Aspen. Gold bangle for you," Effie said, handing Haymitch a small golden bangle. She then turned to Cato. "And for Cato, the medallion that we talked about."

I stared at it curiously. I hadn't even known that Cato had ever bothered speaking to Effie. "Thank you, Effie," he said, grabbing the medallion from her.

"We're a team. Aren't we? And I'm so proud of my Victors. Even you, Cato. You aren't my Victor, but I am so proud of you. So proud," Effie said. Tears were building in her eyes and I sighed. We weren't the only ones that were hurting. "You're so... Well, you all deserved so much better."

I walked over to Effie, wrapping her in a hug. "Thank you, Effie," I said softly.

"I am truly sorry," she added.

And I was sorry too. I hadn't really helped her with what I had done out there. What any of us had done. Particularly Cato. I smiled at her and watched as both Haymitch and Cato gave her a small hug goodnight. The two turned away and I watched as Cato walked out of the room. I could hear the door to the roof shut and I sighed, knowing that I would go there afterwards. He would want to talk away from the cameras. Once I was sure that they were both gone I turned to Haymitch.

"Thank you, Haymitch. For everything. I guess I'll see you in the morning."

"You will."

"Any last advice?"

"Stay alive." I snorted and nodded my head at him. That's almost an old joke with us now. He gave me a quick embrace, and I could tell it was all that he could stand. "Go to bed. You need your rest," Haymitch said.

"Okay."

"And when you throw or shoot out there remember, we're on the same team," Haymitch said.

I laughed again and nudged him gently. "Better watch making me mad the next few days," I teased.

Haymitch snorted and I waited for him to turn and walk away from me. But before he could I stepped forward. "Go to bed, kid," Haymitch said.

"Haymitch, wait. Remember our deal. Do whatever it takes to keep him alive. Promise me," I said.

He stared at me with a pained face for a moment before nodded. "Okay," he said. I turned to walk away but before I could he called me back. "Aspen, when you're in the arena..."

Then he paused. He was scowling in a way that made me sure that I had already disappointed him. "What?" I asked defensively.

"You just remember who the enemy is. That's all. Now go on. Get out of here," Haymitch said.

The enemy... It was Snow. I knew that. It was the Capitol. I wouldn't soon forget that. I had nothing to say to him but I nodded anyways. Haymitch turned and walked away as I made my way out to the roof. Cato was sitting on the edge of the roof and I smiled, walking over to him. He reached a hand backwards and grabbed my thighs, pulling me directly behind him. I leaned over and placed my hands over his shoulder, pressing them against his chest.

"I don't want to be with anyone else in there. Just you and Haymitch. Maybe Finnick too," I said softly.

Cato turned back towards me and nodded. He turned back so that he was facing me. "If that's what you want," he said softly.

As much as I liked some of the other Tributes I knew that it wasn't safe. My priority was Cato. That meant that I needed as few people out there as possible. "That's what I want," I said.

My hand tightened around his and I pulled him with me. I wanted to be in bed with him one last time. So I leaned up from Cato and brought him back inside. He grabbed me as we walked and pulled me into him. We walked down the hallway. Cato wanted to stop by his room to shower off the makeup and meet me in a few minutes, but I wouldn't let him. I was certain that if a door shut between us, it would lock and I would have to spend the night without him. Besides, I have a shower in my room. And he didn't need pajamas. We wouldn't use them. In the meantime, I refused to let go of his hand.

After we had showered and laid ourselves underneath the blankets I spoke again. "Where did you get that ultrasound?" I asked.

"My mother," Cato said.

"How?"

"I told her the plan ahead of time - when Haymitch and I first figured it out. Finnick had some client help slip it to one of the men that work in the media rooms."

I cringed at the thought of Finnick's clients. "That's lucky," I muttered.

"Yeah. It is. They're the only ones that know that it wasn't the truth. They'll tell your family when they get the chance."

"That's good. I'd imagine that they're besides themselves right now."

"So is the rest of my family. My mother is the only one that knows. We needed as few people as possible knowing."

"It was a good idea not to tell anyone. It could have made things even more dangerous."

"It was her when she was carrying Leah."

It was a good plan. I was glad that my family would know that it wasn't the truth. I had always sworn that I would never have kids. Not while the world was like this. "Tell her thank you when you get the chance," I told Cato.

He pressed a small kiss to my head. "You can tell her yourself when you win the Games," he told me softly.

"Cato..." I trailed off.

"Yeah?" he asked, as I grabbed his hands tightly.

"I don't want to be without you."

"You'll be okay. I swear."

"I don't want to live without you."

"I can't live without you."

"Don't leave me," I muttered, my voice cracking painfully.

"Never," Cato whispered, gently running a finger over my collarbone.

"Cato... I love you. No matter what happens. Especially no matter what happens tomorrow," I told him softly.

He looked at me and pushed the hair back off of my face. "I love you too. Always," he said softly.

My heart was thumping softly in my chest. I wanted to be with him forever. I didn't want this to be happening. I wanted my husband and I wanted to be with him until we died from old age and natural causes. Cato stared at me for a moment before reaching over and grabbing me in a tight hug. Our lips met together as we both leaned into each other. His hands tangled in my hair as mine gripped at his shirt tightly. As we moved together I wondered just how many more times I would be able to kiss him.

By the time that we finished one of our last chances to actually be together, I laid half on top of Cato, our legs tangling together. We didn't speak. Nothing could shatter the tense silence between us. Did we sleep? I didn't know. We spent the night holding each other, in some halfway land between dreams and waking. Never speaking. Both afraid to disturb the other in the hope that we would be able to store up a few precious minutes of rest. But I never did. Instead I focused on Cato's hands, gently trailing over my bare skin. Touching me for what would likely be one of the final times.

 **A/N:** Here's another fully edited chapter. **Let me know what you think!** Until next time -A

 **Guest: Sorry this one took so long! I'm determined to make these next few updates faster! I am at college once more so they do take time but I'm hoping for one every three or so weeks :)**


	15. Chapter 15

A soft knock came from the door and my eyes immediately sprung open. I used to be somewhat of a heavy sleeper. Now I usually woke up the moment that something as small as a crunch of gravel outside sounded. Cato was still asleep next to me and I sighed. He was a heavier sleeper than I was. I needed him to not be. We had to be careful out there in the arena. Which was today. I was officially out of time. In a matter of days I would be dead and Cato would once more be a Victor.

It was nice that he had at least managed to fall asleep. I was glad that he'd gotten some rest. I hadn't managed to sleep more than a few ten minute increments. Right now I just wanted to stay in bed. I didn't want to move or handle anything else today. I just wanted to spend the day in bed. As neither one of us had bothered to move, Effie's voice floated through the door. It was quieter than I had ever heard it. Even the day of the Reaping.

"Aspen. Cato. Time to get up. Come out to the dining room when you're ready," Effie called in softly to us.

Her heels retreated a moment later. My stomach was churning. Not with nerves. Just with the knowledge that the moment that we left the bed, it would be the last time that we would ever sleep in a bed together. Our days were now numbered. Not his. Mine. I just had to pretend that I would let him try and save me. Cato finally shifted next to me and I watched as the sheets pooled around his waist. He stared up at me with eyes that were riddled with sleep.

"It's time," I muttered, running my hands through my hair.

Cato leaned over and pushed my hair out of my face before pushing me back on the bed. "Hey, it's gonna be okay," Cato said.

"I know. Surprisingly enough, I'm not nervous this year."

"Me either."

"I was terrified last year. I'm ready this year."

"Good. Stay ready. I'll see you out there. You meet me as soon as you can," Cato said.

"Of course. What's the plan?"

"Head straight for the Cornucopia. You're a little faster than me."

"I'll keep watch for you. Long distance weapons. Don't worry about anyone else. Just run straight there."

"Grab the bow and some knives and we'll get out of there," Cato said.

We had a plan, but just like last year I had to wonder if we were going to manage to make it work. It seemed that we never could. "Yeah. And you get your hands on the best sword, okay?" I asked.

He had to get it. He had to fight just as hard as I was. "Don't worry. I've got it. I'm still a Career, right?" Cato asked.

"Yeah."

We needed to manage to make this work. Cato was going to live and he was going to go home. That was the way that it had to work. "We're gonna work this out, okay?" Cato asked.

The clock read that it was just past nine. I had a few hours until the Games started. "I know," I said softly, trying not to think how this had suddenly become very real.

Just like last year, it had almost seemed like a dream up until now. "I got your back," Cato teased.

"And I've got yours. You gonna laugh at me if I tell you that I'm scared?" I asked.

Part of me thought that Cato might laugh at me but he did nothing of the sort. "I thought you weren't nervous?" Cato asked.

"Not nervous. Scared. Two very different things."

"Of course I won't laugh. Do you want to know why?"

"Yeah."

"Because I'm scared, too."

I raised my eyebrows. Cato wasn't scared of anything. "Are you really?" I asked.

"The last thing that I want is to lose you. And I can't stop thinking that I'm going to," Cato admitted.

Ignoring the fact that I wasn't wearing anything, I moved to the side so that I could sit on Cato's lap, the sheets sprawling around us. To his credit his eyes never once strayed from mine. I pushed the hair that had strayed from its place on the top of his head back, brushing it behind his ears. For a moment I let it curl around my finger. Cato's hands wrapped around my lower back, keeping me in place so that I wouldn't be able to move. Not that I wanted to. I wanted to stay like this forever.

My forehead dropped against his as I pressed a small kiss to the underside of his jaw. "You aren't. You aren't. Okay?" I asked.

After a moment he nodded at me. "I know," Cato whispered.

"I'm not going anywhere. These Games... Screw whatever the hell happens in them. I don't care. I'll always be here," I said.

But it was a blatant lie. I was going to die in these Games. I had to. It couldn't be him. Cato grabbed my hands away from his face and brought them to rest against my chest. "You're not the one that's going to die," Cato growled.

"Well it sure as hell isn't going to be you," I snapped back.

"It will. And you won't argue."

"I will," I barked.

"I'll win this argument, Aspen."

"Cato, I need you to live. You can't be the one that dies. I've done too much to you since the knives at the end of the last Games. You deserve to be happy. You deserve for this to all end. You deserve to find a nice girl and be with your family," I said sadly, dropping my head towards the bed.

Cato pushed me gently back. "Stop. Listen to yourself. You weren't the only one that pulled the knife trick. I agreed," Cato said.

"But I pulled them out."

"Who cares? What's happened to me is on me. Not on you. Understand?" Cato asked.

The only reason that I nodded was because I knew that he needed me to agree. But he was wrong. Because it was on me. It was my stupid idea. "Okay," I whispered.

"Find a nice girl... I have one. She's sitting right here," Cato said, pressing a kiss on my forehead. "I don't care if we got married because we had to appease President Snow. I love you. You're my wife." I twitched slightly at the sound of him calling that. We would only be able to call each other that for a few more days. "Nothing is going to happen to you out there."

My own end might come at my own hand. "If it does, I need you to do something for me," I said.

After a moment Cato nodded. "Alright," he agreed slowly.

"I need you to move on. I need you to get up and remember me, but never do anything. Find another girl to love and be with your family," I said desperately.

He merely stared at me blankly for a moment before shaking his head. Something in my heart shattered. "I won't promise you. It's not the truth," Cato said.

"Please."

"Could you promise me the same thing?"

Automatically I knew the answer. "No."

Because it was the truth. If something happened to him out there I was never going to be able to move on. And it was no surprise that he felt the same way about me. Gale and Katniss and Prim would help me, but I would never be the same. Not without him. I couldn't. The two of us stared at each other for a few moments. Neither one of us knew what to say to the other that wouldn't make the air any more awkward than it already was. Cato's hands ran down my arms and over my sides, settling at my hips.

"Kids?" Effie called through the door again. Both Cato and I jumped. "You ready?"

"Yes," I said, not bothering to look away from Cato. "We're coming."

"Hurry, please," Effie said, as sweetly as she could.

After a beat I leaned into Cato and kissed his cheek softly. "I love you, Cato Hadley," I muttered softly.

Cato smiled and pushed me back over the bed. I laughed as he settled himself over my hips. "I love you, too, Aspen Hadley," Cato said. "Always."

I smirked and blushed softly. I liked the sound of that. "Me, too," I whispered. Gently shoving Cato off of me I turned back to him and smiled as I stood up from the bed. "You can go ahead on out."

"What?" Cato asked.

"I'm going to go and take a shower before I go. Might as well enjoy one last one," I said, standing from the bed.

"Just for a few days," Cato said.

A little shooting pain went through my chest. It couldn't be me that was going to win. It had to be him. "Cato -"

"How about I join you?" Cato interrupted, waggling his brow suggestively at me.

A loud snort came out through my nose as I stared at him. "Really?" I asked.

"You could always tell me no."

There was no way that he was going to give up one last chance to be with me. "You'd really let me say no?" I asked.

Cato was staring at me sideways. "Of course not," he said.

"I didn't think so," I said, laughing softly.

"Come on."

Cato grabbed my hand and led me into the bathroom. We laughed softly as the door closed behind me. He gave me no chance to do or say anything. He pressed me back against the counter and I smirked at him softly. There were no clothes for either one of us to have to shed. The outfit that I would be wearing in the arena was set out on the counter but I ignored it. Just for a while I could ignore it. It was mostly black and silver and I sighed. It looked almost like a bathing suit. Water. Definitely water.

 _Don't think about the Games just yet_... I wanted this last hour or so that we had to be anything but Games related. Even though everything that I did had something to do with the Games these days. Turning away from the suit that was laid out, I walked into the shower stall and hit the dial for the water. It began to pour from the ceiling and I sighed, standing under the stream and pushing my hair back over my head. Just one last time I could enjoy this.

"Now that's what I like to see," Cato said, running the comb on the counter through his hair.

It was my turn to say something suggestive. "I think I've got something that you'd like to do even better," I said, beckoning him to join me.

"Look who's turning into me."

"Come here."

"With pleasure."

Cato smirked and took a step forward, standing under the stream of water and closing the glass door behind him. He walked over and grabbed me gently by the shoulders, forcing me to step out of the stream of water. I was pressed back against the glass shower stall and I shivered slightly. It was absolutely freezing. Cato smirked as one of his hands came up over my back, tracing over my spine, and knotting itself into my hair. He tipped my head back so that he could kiss me and I smiled into the kiss.

It was times like this that I wished I would never have to leave. Never have to go outside or do anything again. I just wanted to hide in the shower with Cato for the rest of my life. I didn't want to spend my last few days in the arena fighting to make sure that he got to live a full life and killing people that were supposed to be my friends. People that I had gotten here in the first place. Perhaps it was the guilt that was eating me alive or maybe because I was still afraid that something was going to happen.

But as Cato slipped slightly against the floor, I chuckled and was brought out of my reverie. What was about to happen didn't matter. Not yet. Not until we managed to make our way into the arena. Not for the next hour. Right now I could pretend that when we hopped out of the shower I would be back in bed and we would enjoy the rest of our day together as a married couple. Not outside in the arena, fighting for our lives. None of that mattered, though.

The only thing that mattered was that I was here with him right now. Things might change and I might very well be dead by tonight. But that didn't matter. All that mattered was that I knew that he loved me. I knew that despite the fact that we had only gotten married was because of President Snow, we really did love each other. One day we probably would have gotten married. Like Cato said, the only thing that I regretted was that we didn't have enough time together.

Just under half an hour later Cato allowed me to finally slip out of the shower and step on the drying plate. I let the warm air flow up around me and waited for it to blow out my hair. Cato walked out afterwards and I smiled as he waited for himself to be dried off. His hair stuck up afterwards in all directions and I giggled under my breath. He patted it down in the mirror and began to change into his clothes from the night before. I walked over to the counter where my Tribute outfit was laid out.

The silence in the room was nice but I still felt like I had to say something. I had to acknowledge what was going to happen. "You know, in the event that this was the last time for us I'm pretty glad that -"

"Don't. Don't you dare do that," Cato snapped.

I wasn't sure whether he was saying it for my sake or his. Maybe both. "Cato," I whispered.

"We're going to be together again. I promise you that. This is not the end for us," he said, grabbing my hip.

"How can you know that?" I asked softly.

He was always the more confident one of us. He grabbed me gently and pulled me into him. "Because that's my promise to you. We're going to be together. I don't know how yet, but I know that we will be," Cato said determinedly.

"I love that you have so much faith," I said.

Despite the serious situation I I smiled and pressed a kiss to his bare chest. "We fought so hard to be together. These assholes aren't going to rip us apart," Cato growled.

It brought me back to the Career from the Seventy-Fourth Hunger Games that I'd been so afraid of. It was the same way that he had once promised how he would kill me. Things changed fast. "It never fails to amaze me how much faith you have in us," I said.

Cato stared at me like I had asked him to eat Nightlock. "Do you not?" he asked.

Suddenly I realized that what I had said didn't come out right. I had faith but I was realistic to what was going to happen. "Of course I do," I said quickly.

"So?" Cato prompted.

"But I also know the Capitol. I know how problematic they can be. And I know that the last people they want to see win these Games are us," I said, motioning between us.

Cato nodded again. He pushed me back against the counter and pressed a long kiss to my lips. A moment later he released me and let me stumble back. "Doesn't matter. We'll be together. I'm not losing you," he said, gripping me tightly around the waist.

"And I'm not losing you," I said, tightening my grip on his arm.

After a few moments he released me to continue putting his clothes on. I opened the costume for the Games that was set out and began to slip it on. It was absolutely nothing like it was last year. It was nothing like I had ever seen a Tribute wear for a Hunger Games. It reminded me of something like a wet-suit. Finnick had once described them to me. It was supposed to make swimming easier. So I was right beforehand. There was definitely going to be water in the arena this year.

The costume was skin-tight with a zipper going down the front so that someone could change in and out of it at will. Underneath it I placed a pair of black underwear and waterproof sports bra, tightening the straps as far as I could. The undergarments were simple, just like they had been last year. This year we also had a shirt that went underneath. At least, I did. Cato didn't. I began to slip into the costume, having to tug at it every which way to actually manage to get myself into it. The damn thing was worn like a second skin. I had never worn something like this before.

It was mostly a black wet-suit with white sleeves. A pair of black sleeves that came on and off went over the top of the white sleeves. The white ones only went about halfway down my upper arm. Over my hips and thighs, and down the front of my chest were gray patches. There were elbow and knee pads on the outfit as well. I assumed that there would probably be some pretty rocky areas that we would have to watch out for. At least they were trying to keep us from getting too banged up.

On my waist was a wide belt. I opened up the top of it and stared at the inside. It was filled with purple gel. What the hell was that for? The shoes that I was wearing were somewhat like boots. They were a thick nylon with rubber soles. Obviously it was to keep me from slipping. I stared in the mirror and pulled my hair over my shoulder and knotted it into a braid. Cato walked up behind me and stared at the costume. If I wasn't used to people seeing me naked I would have been incredibly embarrassed to be in this thing. It showed everything, despite the fact that almost no skin was showing.

"Look at this damn thing," Cato said.

"It's not traditional," I said.

What we had worn last year were traditional costumes. "Nothing like last year, right?" Cato asked.

"Great. Somehow even when we're fighting for our lives against each other they still want to make it like a beauty pageant," I said.

"Welcome to the Capitol."

"Look at this. Every little curve that I have is shown off in this thing."

Cato's hands went over my hips and pulled me back against him, flipping my hair in front of my shoulder. "But just think, only one person has seen underneath it," Cato hissed in my ear.

"That you know of," I teased.

His hands tightened on my hips to an almost painful point. I still had to keep the smile off of my face. I knew that saying something like that would get to him. "What?" Cato growled.

He would never know about Seneca. It would break his heart. Outside of my Prep Team and Cinna, he was the only person to see underneath. But I didn't think that they counted. "I'm just kidding, Cato," I said. "What about the many girls that have seen underneath yours?"

Something in Cato's face hardened. "I wish that you were the only one," Cato said.

"Seriously?"

"Seriously. You are the only one that mattered. You're the only one that could ever matter."

A horrible pang shot through me. "Come here," I whispered.

It was moments like these that I realized just how much my death would affect him. It would kill him. But his death would kill me. I could only hope that when he saw me die, he would be so furious that he would revert to his former, cruel, self and become the Mockingjay. For me. He walked over and pressed a searing kiss against my mouth. I couldn't help but to wonder how many more times we were going to be able to kiss each other. As we separated from each other I sighed and let the smile drop from my face.

"I guess we should get going. The Games start in just under an hour," I said softly.

A scowl fell over Cato's face as we walked out of the bathroom and out of the bedroom. For the final time, I would be leaving this place. It wasn't like last year. There was no hope that I could come back. This was the end of my life. Just a few more days... I couldn't find it in myself to look back at the room for one last time like I had last year. I would never see it again. No matter what was about to happen, I was positive that I would never see this place again.

"The Games never ended," Cato snarled.

I said nothing. There was nothing that I could say at that point. It was just time to leave and hope that we would be okay for the next few days. Hope that we would be safe until it was time for Cato to become the Victor. We walked out into the main room and I saw that Haymitch and Effie were the only two there. Cinna, Portia, and Cato's Head Stylist would be here soon. Like myself, Haymitch was in the same outfit. I stared at him and attempted a weak smile. It didn't work.

"You two ready?" Haymitch asked.

"What the hell do you think?" I snapped, before I could stop myself.

Immediately I knew that it was rude and that I shouldn't have said it. Haymitch wasn't the least bit concerned about what I had said. "Yeah, I figured," Haymitch said.

"Sorry," I muttered.

"It's fine. Cato, your stuff is downstairs. Go down and get changed. Get breakfast and get ready for the day. It's going to be a long one," Haymitch said.

Was he hurting over going back to the arena? "Alright," Cato said, walking over to me. He pushed a strand of hair out of my face and I found myself extremely grateful as Haymitch and Effie turned away. "I'll see you out there. Don't panic. You'll be fine."

The last thing that I wanted was for him to be concerned about me. He had himself to be worried about. I didn't want to have to worry about distracting him. So I forced a smile. "Okay. See you soon. We're all meeting up at the Cornucopia," I said.

Not that I was really sure who 'we all' were. Haymitch definitely. Probably Finnick, too. "Try not to get attacked until I get there," Cato teased.

Scoffing at him, I walked over and pressed a small kiss to the corner of his mouth. "I'll try my hardest. Be careful out there. No one is rooting for us other than our families," I said softly.

"We'll be fine," Cato said.

He pressed a small kiss to my lips before turning and walking out. I sighed softly and took a seat next to Haymitch at the dinner table. Effie was across from us. "Haymitch," I said softly.

He turned to look at me as we loaded food onto our plates. "What?" he asked.

"I have to tell you something. Whatever happens out there, I'm so sorry -"

Like Cato earlier, Haymitch cut me off quickly. "Do not. Do not do that. I don't want to hear it." I bit into my piece of toast and stared at the table. He was giving up his life for me to let Cato live and he wouldn't even let me apologize. "I know what I signed on for. Things are going to work out, Aspen. I promise you that," Haymitch added, after a moment of tense silence.

"How can you know?" I asked, glancing up at him.

Effie had her pad sitting out in front of her but for once she wasn't tapping away on it. She was watching us. Haymitch glanced over at me and sighed. There was no way that he could know what was about to happen to us. And it would be something miserable. I knew that. Haymitch placed down a glass of water and I tilted my head at him. I was sure that I had never seen Haymitch drink anything other than alcohol.

"Because it's my job to make sure that things work out for you," Haymitch said softly.

"You aren't my father," I immediately snapped, knowing that it was rude. He didn't have to take care of me. I was a big kid. "You don't have to do that."

Haymitch didn't take that much offense to what I said. "Maybe not. But you're a good girl, Aspen," Haymitch said.

"Seriously?"

"You've been like family to me for the past year," Haymitch said.

I glanced up from my plate of eggs and smiled. I reached across the table and grabbed his hand lightly. "So have you," I muttered.

"You've been through a lot. You don't need to go through things anymore. I can't promise you that things are going to get better. But I can promise you that it will be worth it," Haymitch said.

My brows rose as I stared at him. I couldn't imagine for the life of me what that meant. "What does that mean?" I asked.

As per usual, no one wanted to explain what was going on. Effie stepped in and passed me the plate of bacon. "It means that it's time to have breakfast!" Effie chirped, motioning around to the table.

"I'm not very hungry," I muttered.

"Eat something," Haymitch goaded.

"We have all of your favorites," Effie said.

Smiling softly I thanked her and grabbed a few of the dishes. I wasn't hungry but I knew that I had to eat something. I would starve if I hadn't eaten anything when the Bloodbath came around. I had a bad feeling that there wouldn't be a ton of food or fresh water in the arena this year. They wanted us gone and they wanted us gone fast. I piled on two slices of bacon, a small portion of eggs, a small biscuit, and a few pieces of fruit. I grabbed a glass of water and began to pour into my food.

We hadn't been eating long when Haymitch spoke up once more. "Aspen."

"What?" I asked, stopping picking at my fruit long enough to look up at Haymitch.

"This time when we get into the arena head straight for the Cornucopia. We should have the largest alliance."

"I was planning on it. Need me to grab you anything?"

"Knife. Dagger. Big one," Haymitch said.

It would be Cato, Haymitch, and me for sure. Maybe Finnick. I wasn't sure who the other alliances would be. "So that means that we're safe," I said.

Haymitch shook his head. "Not necessarily. The Careers will still have some strong ones on their side," Haymitch said.

"We still aren't sure about Enobaria. And I can handle Gloss and Cashmere," I growled.

"That's true. Finnick will have Mags," Haymitch said.

I sighed softly. I hadn't even thought about that. "We can help him with her for a while," I muttered.

"We'll have people that we have to watch out for. Against Gloss, Cashmere, and Enobaria, we'll have a good fight. We should save them for last," Haymitch said.

"I made that mistake last time."

"What do you mean?"

"I saved the strong ones for last. People took out the weak ones first. If I had gone after them I wouldn't have been so badly hurt against Coral. I could have avoided the fight with Clove. Marvel wouldn't have..." I trailed off, thinking about how he killed Rue because I hadn't given him the answer that he wanted.

"It was an accident, Aspen. But those were kids. They didn't know the Games, as much as they wanted to think that they did. They know them this time," Haymitch argued.

"Between you, me, Finnick, and Cato, we'll be able to take them out," I said.

Mags could stay behind while we took care of them. It wouldn't be a problem. Haymitch didn't seem so convinced. "Maybe. Unless they've decided to recruit someone else," Haymitch said.

"Like?"

"The man from Ten. Aspen, trust me, we have time. Don't go jumping to conclusions."

That wasn't the truth. For the rest of our lives - as short as they were going to be - we weren't going to have time. "Haymitch, we don't have time. We never do," I said.

Case and point, Effie glanced down at her tablet and sighed. She stood from the table. I rose with her, knowing that my time in the Capitol had come to an end. "You two, it's time to go. Haymitch, you go down first," Effie told him.

Haymitch nodded at her and grabbed my shoulder as he passed. We gave each other a silent departure and I smiled weakly. We would meet each other soon enough at the Cornucopia. I was looking forward to just getting this over with. I wanted to get done with the Games and let Cato enjoy his life. Haymitch walked into the elevator and I waved him off. Once the doors to the elevator closed Effie turned to me. We gave each other a small smile.

"Aspen, are you ready?" Effie asked.

She was never truly concerned for my safety or if I was prepared. Not until now. Perhaps it was because she'd finally realized the gravity of the situation. "No. But I don't think that I'll ever be," I said honestly.

Effie rested a polished hand on my shoulder. Her nails were actually chipped. Was she really this bothered by the Games? "I'm so very sorry that this happened to you," Effie said.

"Don't apologize for this."

"You deserved so much better than this. You all did. You deserve to have a husband and children."

At least I had one of those things. I would never have the other. I was out of time. But half of it was my choice. "Thank you, Effie. I'm grateful for everything that you've done for me. I really am. Even if I didn't always seem like it," I said softly.

Effie smiled softly as she brought me into a tight hug. "I know that you were, darling. It's alright, you have nothing to apologize for," Effie said.

"And neither do you," I told her.

And it was the truth. I had once blamed her for drawing Prim's name out of the Reaping Ball. Not anymore. I knew who the real enemy was. And it was not some woman doing what she had been raised to think was right. It was the man that had started these Games in the first place. We stood together in silence for a little while before Effie spoke up again. I heard her little tablet ding and I knew that it was my time to head down there.

"Run fast out there, dear. And be safe. I do hope to see you soon," Effie said.

As nice as it would have been, I knew that this was the last time that I was going to see her. I smiled and placed my hand on her shoulder as I walked by. "Goodbye, Effie."

She said nothing else to me and I couldn't find it in myself to say anything else to her. We had parted ways on a good note and that was the only thing that was important. I smiled at her and waved as I stepped into the elevator. A moment later the doors closed and I stared as the floors passed. Just like last year I knew that I was the last person to go down to the hovercraft. A few people were standing around and I felt my skin crawled as they all stared at me.

No one wanted a damn thing to do with me. Other than watching me die or get tortured. The elevator stopped at the bottom floor and I jumped out. Peacekeepers were lining the entire walkway and I grimaced softly. Everyone was standing and staring at me. They were all watching as I walked and stared down at the ground. I didn't like watching the black masks follow me. As I walked up to the black hovercraft, the same one from last year, I saw a man that I wasn't quite sure what to think of.

Seneca Crane was standing at the end of the walkway, watching me as I approached him. He was dressed in his usual red and black suit. But the immaculate clothing didn't match the dead stare in his eyes. He had looked so excited last year. He had been so happy to see that the Games were about to begin. But it was so different this time. Was he really that heartbroken that I was going back into the Games? I wasn't sure what to make of Seneca.

"Aspen, might I have a word with you for a moment?" Seneca asked.

"Sure," I said, knowing that I didn't really have a choice.

"Are you ready for the Games?" Seneca asked after a moment.

I didn't have time for this. Not anymore. "If you're here to intimidate me like you did last year, just give up now. I don't give a damn what you can do to me. Now I'm late, excuse me," I snapped, trying to brush by him.

Seneca held out his hand to stop me. It worked as I stopped in my tracks and glared at him. "Not quite yet," Seneca said.

"I have somewhere to be."

"I'm not here to intimidate you. Not this time."

"So what are you here for?"

The Peacekeepers didn't look like they wanted to wait much longer for me. "I'm here to wish you luck. And to tell you that I will see you in a few days," Seneca said.

Immediately I shook my head. That wasn't the truth and I would have thought that he would know that. "No. You won't. Not this time," I said stubbornly.

Seneca grinned and shook his head. "I wouldn't be so sure about that," Seneca said.

Cato was the one getting out of here. Not me. "I would," I said.

"Come here. Trust me," Seneca said softly.

"Why the hell would I trust you?" I snapped.

It seemed that it was the answer that Seneca was expecting. "Because this time you need all of the allies that you can get. You're in a dangerous game," Seneca said.

"I know that."

"Then trust me. We're allies. We're friends."

Perhaps that was good enough for me. Despite not wanting to trust him I stepped forward until I was about two or three inches away from him. He closed in the small gap that was between the two of us so that we were practically pressed up against each other. He dipped his hand into his pocket and I watched as he took a small - and very obviously gold - button. It was no larger than a fingernail. There was a small piece on it that looked like it might be able to be pressed down.

As I stared at the color of the button I realized what exactly was happening. It was gold. Haymitch's band was gold. Cato's locket was gold. Effie had her gold hair. My pin was gold. And now Seneca had a gold button. Was he on our team now, too? What did this mean? Seneca pressed the button into my hand and forced me to squeeze my fingers around it. He was leaning into me so that no one else could hear us and it looked like we were just hugging goodbye.

"You take this. There's a pocket in the arm of the suit that you're wearing," Seneca said.

"Okay," I said, pulling down the sleeve on my left arm, slipping the button into it.

"When they ask for your tracker give them the other arm."

"I will."

"Don't let anyone else see this."

"I won't."

"I'm serious, Aspen. They'll kill you all. Us here in the Capitol, too."

Once I had pulled the sleeve up over my arm I stared at Seneca curiously. I didn't like having this thing on me. Especially if it would get us all killed. "What is this?" I asked.

We stood in silence for a moment before Seneca shook his head. "Trust me when I say that you don't want to know what this is," Seneca said.

"That definitely doesn't sound good," I said.

"Just know that you need to use this when it's time. You'll know when it's time. You only have to press the top button."

"Is it going to blow me up?" I asked dryly.

Somehow Seneca found the humor in my comment. "If I didn't blow you up when you and Cato held those daggers to yourself do you really think that I'd blow you up now?" Seneca asked.

Would he? Probably not. For some reason I did trust that Seneca wasn't going to actually try and hurt me in these Games. I trusted that he wanted me alive this time around. In the back of my mind I knew that he wouldn't blow me up. He was right. He hadn't killed me when I had done one of the craziest things that anyone had seen in the arena. He wasn't going to kill me now. Not when my death wouldn't be filmed, at least.

"No."

"And you are correct. You need to press this button when the time comes. Don't forget that," Seneca said seriously.

People seemed to just automatically think that I would know when to do things. I didn't. No one wanted to tell me the damn plan. "How will I know when the time comes?" I asked.

Seneca pushed me back towards the hovercraft. For a brief moment I wanted him to keep me here. For just a moment I reverted back to the scared little girl from a year ago. "Trust me when I say that you'll know," Seneca said.

"Okay."

"Be careful out there, Aspen. Very few people are rooting for you. I'm one of them."

"For some reason, I believe you."

He leaned in to give me a soft kiss on the cheek. "Good luck," Seneca muttered.

"Thank you, Seneca," I said softly.

It was the last thing that I said before turning away and walking towards the hovercraft. Even though I knew that he was still standing and watching me, I couldn't find it in myself to turn back and say something else. I just wanted to keep moving. So I walked over to the hovercraft and walked up the ramp. No one else was waiting to get on board so as I walked to my chair as the doors behind me closed. Two Peacekeepers came on each side of me and led me to a seat near the front of the hovercraft.

I found myself planted in one of the worst spots that I could have been in. Enobaria was on my left and Gloss was in front of me. Cashmere was a few people down from us and she was watching me with a deadly smile. Cato was on the other end of the hovercraft. I looked over at him and gave him a reassuring nod. We were going to be fine. We were going to get out of this place. At least, he would. Haymitch was in the middle of the hovercraft and he was looking down at his lap. His lips were moving. This must have been painful for him.

For just a moment I felt horrible about asking him to die for me. Not even for me, for Cato. A few moments later I felt the hovercraft jolt as it launched into the air. I groaned softly and twitched as the hovercraft picked up speed and headed out towards the arena. My legs were shaking slightly as I stared down at my lap and thought over the possible threats that I would have to watch out for. Or anyone that might end up proving themselves to be my ally.

The threats were easy. Mostly everyone was going to be a threat. It was going to be dangerous for us out there. No one wanted us to win the Games. Either one of us. Someone was going to try and kill us. Gloss and Cashmere would be two big dangers. They were still angry that I had turned down their offer to be a Career this year. Enobaria would be a danger. Was she angry? Maybe. But I knew that she wasn't going to die to make sure that Cato would win. Even Finnick could be a danger, no matter how much I trusted him. Blight and Johanna would be dangerous, too. She hated me and he followed her. The District 10 male could be dangerous too. He was large and powerful.

Allies were something completely different. I really wasn't sure if there was anyone that I could actually trust in the arena outside of Cato. Wiress and Beetee might make useful allies. They were both smart and had done wise things in the arena in their times. I hated to think it but I could definitely overpower them if need be. Finnick would make a wise ally, too. But he wanted to win. He wanted to get back to Annie. Would he kill me to do it? Maybe. The only other safe ally I knew of was Haymitch. But I supposed that no one was really safe.

My feet were bouncing against the floor of the hovercraft as I looked around at the other Tributes. Some looked nervous. Some looked excited. Some looked depressed. Some looked bored. But I knew one thing. Somewhere hidden underneath everything they were all angry. Even the Careers. And that was what I had to watch out for. The anger that they all had wasn't going to be taken out on the Capitol. They were going to take it out on me.

Glancing up from my shoes I looked around at everyone else who were sitting around. I wanted to know where they all seemingly stood. It was hard to tell just by glances, but I was trying. Gloss and Cashmere were both smirking and giving me dirty looks from time to time. I knew what it meant. They were coming for me. There was no way that they wouldn't be my enemies. Cato was sitting still and looking over at me on occasion. Enobaria was grinning down at the floor.

Wiress and Beetee both seemed to be repeating a mantra to themselves. Finnick was sitting next to Mags. He was holding her hand tightly and smiling at her. She chirped softly at him. The Morphlings were both muttering to themselves. Johanna seemed to be practicing her axe throwing. Woof seemed to be about ready to fall asleep. I wasn't sure that he really knew where he was. The hovercraft gave a small lurch and I felt it begin to descend. Peacekeepers began to move off to the side as they began with the trackers.

I stared down at my lap and sighed. Just a few more minutes. The only thing that mattered was that when the time came I knew that I had to jump off of my pedestal. The looks of the suit told me that there would definitely be water in the arena. I wondered if Cato could swim. I couldn't remember if he had told me that or not. I had a feeling that Haymitch could. Finnick obviously could. He was in his element out here. I just knew that I had to get to the Cornucopia and grab my stuff.

"Tracker," a Peacekeeper called to me. I glanced up and nodded, pulling down my right sleeve and holding out my arm. He pressed the needle into my arm and I cringed softly. "Good luck, Mrs. Hadley. I look forward to watching you."

He was the same Peacekeeper that had come to my home before the Victory Tour and the one that I had kicked last year. "Thank you. I look forward to putting on a show that you'll remember forever. Trust me. It'll be something to watch," I growled.

Despite not being able to see into his mask I knew that he was smirking at me. The hovercraft landed a moment later with a small jolt. Everyone - even the Careers - gave a little jolt. We all looked up and watched as the Tributes were released from the restraints. As most of the Tributes rose they gave me little snarls under their breath. Haymitch nodded with what I knew was a warning to stay calm and be prepared for whatever was to come. I nodded back at him. Finnick gave me a little wink as he rose.

Cato looked over at me and grinned softly. I could see the dead and disturbed look in the back of his eyes. I knew that he was as nervous about today as I was. For the same reason, too. We couldn't lose the other. He was ready to die. He wasn't ready for me to die. He would just have to get over it. Cato opened his mouth and stared at me. _Stay calm and head to the Cornucopia. I'll see you soon,_ he mouthed at me.

I nodded and watched as he was led off of the hovercraft. A moment later the Peacekeeper that was clearly my biggest fan released my restraint and grabbed my arm, pulling me along with him. He stood in front of me as I was walked off of the hovercraft. Two were standing on my sides and one was behind me as we walked through the catacombs. This wasn't the same arena as last year but everything seemed the same. As I walked through the tunnels I noticed the flickering lights and cold air.

Last year this place had seemed bad enough. Somehow it seemed to have gotten even worse now. The cold and damp air only aided in making me think that this was something of a water arena. And the flickering lights reminded me of what Beetee had told me during training. The force field was drawing too much power. The Peacekeeper rounded me around one last corner before stopping at a door. We stood there for a moment before the doors slid open and I was allowed to walk inside.

Unlike last year Cinna was already standing in the center of the room. On the far end was the tube that would take me straight up to the arena. Also unlike last year, Cinna wasn't holding a jacket. It meant that the arena was definitely going to be warm this year. It could either be a good thing or a bad thing. Bad for dehydration, good that we wouldn't freeze. I walked up to Cinna and let him wrap me in his arms. The hug was tight before he released me.

Neither one of us bothered to take a step back from each other one we stopped hugging. Cinna walked over to me and pulled something out of his pocket. I smiled when I saw that it was the Mockingjay pin. Of course. It was still my token. No one could know about the button that Seneca had given me. Cinna shushed me before walking over and pulling down my right sleeve. He saw the button that was tucked into the pocket but said nothing. He simply put the pin on before pulling the sleeve back up.

"I didn't say goodbye to Portia," I said suddenly, remembering what I had meant to do.

"I'll tell her," Cinna said.

"What do you think?" I asked, referring to the suit.

He stared at the suit curiously for a moment, letting his hand linger over the sleeves. "This suit is light. No thermal. So I'd guess tropics or desert," Cinna said.

If it was a desert arena I would have thought that the shoes would have been different. The ones that I was wearing right now seemed to be for water. "Are the boots waterproof?" I asked.

Cinna nodded. "Yes," he said softly. "It seems that most of this costume is waterproof. You'll definitely be doing some swimming in the arena this year. Be careful. Can you swim?"

After a moment I nodded. "Yes."

Just like last year there was a voice that called out how much time we had before having to load into the tubes. "Sixty seconds to launch," the mechanical voice called.

Somehow I wasn't nervous. I remembered how panicked I had been last year. This year was different. I was calm. Likely because I knew what was about to happen. I knew that I was going to die. I knew that this would be the last chance that I would ever have to say something to Cinna. Another, final, minute. This was my last chance to say anything to Cinna that I wanted to. I wouldn't ever see him again.

"That dress was beautiful. The alterations that you did were the best things that you could have done. I think it was the best one you've ever made," I said honestly.

Cinna smiled at me and nodded. "I thought you'd like it."

And then I felt the word vomit bubbling in my stomach. There was something that I needed to say. But I was terrified to say it. I just knew that I had to. Cinna was my family and he needed to hear what he meant to me. "I just wanted to tell you, because I don't -"

There were so many things that I wanted to say. But I knew that there wasn't enough time. "Stop," Cinna interrupted.

"You need to know this, Cinna," I told him. After a second he nodded for me to continue. "You're like my father. You're one of my best friends. And I can't imagine how this all would have happened if you hadn't been here. Thank you for everything."

Cinna smiled and walked forward. He grabbed me by the hand and I smiled up at him. "And thank you for being exactly the person that I needed to meet. For more than just the Games," Cinna said.

"My pleasure."

"You've become my family, Aspen."

He had no idea what that meant for me to hear. "And you've always been mine. I love you, Cinna," I said.

Once more he smiled at me as he pulled me into a hug. "And I love you, too. I always will. No matter what happens. During the Games or after," Cinna said.

"Thank you."

"Remember, I'm still betting on you, Girl on Fire."

I chuckled softly and shook my head. This year it wasn't going to be wise to put your money on me. Not that I was going to tell him that. "Ten seconds to launch," the mechanical voice called out.

Last year I had been shaking to the point that I had thought that I would collapse before even making it to the tube. But now I was oddly calm. It was like I was about to go out on a walk in the woods. I stared at Cinna for a moment before bringing him into a crushing hug for a moment and nodding as I walked back into the tube. Grunting as I pulled myself up onto the platform of the tube I turned to stare at Cinna. Like last year, I wanted to see him until I no longer could.

"Goodbye, Aspen," Cinna said softly.

I stared at him as the glass sheet of the tube came down in front of me. I was plunged into a strange silence as I watched Cinna. The platform had yet to move. I assumed that they were waiting for another Tribute. But even as I passed the ten second mark in my head I realized that the tube still hadn't raised. What the hell? A small creaking was coming from outside and I watched as the door in the back of the room opened. Three Peacekeepers entered the room, marching straight for Cinna.

Were they coming to kill me? Had the Games actually been cancelled? Or were they just going to drag me out into the Square, execute me, and excuse everyone else? That would have been ideal. But no, this looked much worse. A knot formed in my stomach as I watched them. Before I could even grasp what had happened, the first Peacekeeper - who was wearing gloves with spikes on them - threw out his fist, hitting Cinna dead in the face.

"No!" I screamed, throwing my fists against the glass tube. It did nothing to deter them. Cinna feel forward and knocked against my glass tube. "Cinna! No!" Outside Cinna fell to the ground. I was beating against the glass cage, desperate to get to him, but nothing was working. "No! No! No! No! Cinna!" The three Peacekeepers began to kick and hit Cinna, never giving him a chance to regain his energy. Two of them picked him up under the arms as I continued to beat against the glass, hitting it with my shoulder at a bruising force. "No! No! No! No!"

He was unconscious as the guards dragged him out of the room, bloodied and beaten. They kept hitting him with the metal-studded gloves, opening gashes on his face and body. I was still screaming my head off, banging on the unyielding glass, trying to reach him. The Peacekeepers ignored me completely as they dragged Cinna's limp body from the room. All that was left were the smears of blood on the floor. The platform finally began to raise as tears began to fall. I dropped to my knees, desperate to stop the platform. Cinna hadn't deserved this.

"No, no..." I moaned softly as the platform finally raised too high for me to see Cinna.

Sickened and terrified, I felt the plate rise the rest of the way. I was still leaning against the glass when the breeze caught my hair and I forced myself to straighten up. Just in time, too, because the glass was retreating and I was standing free in the arena. The door overhead opened and I was blinded by the sunlight. This was all Snow's doing. He had killed Cinna because of the dress. He had killed Cinna for making him look like a fool. He hadn't raised the platforms because he had been waiting for the Peacekeepers.

He wanted me to watch what happened to Cinna so that I knew that he would always be in control. My chest was heaving harshly as I stood and faced towards the Cornucopia. If Snow wanted a fight - if he wanted to see me become the Mockingjay - then that was damn well what he was going to see. For Cinna. I wiped away a tear and shielded my eyes from the sun for a moment. _Forget about him. For now, forget about him. If you live, you win. Do it for Cinna._ I stared directly ahead at the Cornucopia and gasped.

Something seemed to be wrong with my vision. The ground was too bright and shiny and kept undulating. I squinted down at my feet and saw that my metal plate was surrounded by blue waves that lapped up over my boots. Slowly I raised my eyes and took in the water spreading out in every direction. I could only form one clear thought. This was no place for a girl on fire.

All of the spokes were about six or seven feet above the water. That was all that was around us. Water. We would have to swim to get to long pathways that ran all the way up to the Cornucopia. There were two people in each of the twelve wedges around the Cornucopia. The pathways were rock and probably relatively slippery. Right on the right side of the mouth of the Cornucopia was the bow and two sheaths of arrows. My spoke was positioned near the left side of the mouth.

 _Figure out what to do, Aspen. Work! Figure this out! Get to the Cornucopia! Find what you need!_ But nothing was working, no matter how much I tried to think about it. Just like last year... But I couldn't. I couldn't think straight. The image of Cinna, beaten and bloody, consumed every inch of me. Where was he now? What were they doing to him? Torturing him? Killing him? Turning him into an Avox? Obviously his assault was staged to unhinge me, the same way Darius and Clio's presence in my quarters were.

And it had unhinged me. All I wanted to do was collapse on my metal plate. But I could hardly do that after what I just witnessed. I must be strong. I owed it to Cinna, who risked everything by undermining President Snow and turning my bridal silk into the Mockingjay plumage. And I owed it to the rebels who, emboldened by Cinna's example, might have been fighting to bring down the Capitol at this very moment. My refusal to play the Games on the Capitol's terms was to be my last act of rebellion. So I grit my teeth and willed myself to be a real player.

The entire arena seemed to be a jungle on a steep incline. _Great._ I searched for the other Tributes. Beetee was on my right - he seemed to be deciding in between swimming away from the Cornucopia and going towards it - and Gloss was on my left. He was already preparing to dive. Enobaria was next to him and she was focused on the Cornucopia, too. Finnick was two down from her, also ready to head towards the Cornucopia. Four down on my right was Cashmere. Another four down was Johanna. I could see Haymitch two from her.

There was just one problem. There was one person that I couldn't see, no matter how hard I tried to find him. Cato was nowhere in sight. He must have been on the other end. Of course. There was no way that they were going to put us together. Claudius Templesmith's voice came over the speaker and I wiped away another tear.

"Let the Seventy-Fifth Hunger Games begin. May the odds be ever in your favor," Claudius Templesmith called out.

"Cato?" I muttered softly, wondering where he could be.

10...

A Gamemaker started nearly immediately as the numbers appeared over the head of the Cornucopia. What the hell happened to sixty seconds? Everyone else seemed startled too as they got down in the position to jump - one way or another.

9...

Sorry Prim for making you watch this, but I have to do this. This is for everything that the Capitol has ever done for me.

8...

Please make sure to take her out of the room, Katniss. And please know that this is what I needed to do.

7...

Gale, if you ever get the chance to be at my funeral, slap my corpse around a little bit. I'm sure that in the afterlife I'll need to be hit a few good times.

6...

Ms. Everdeen I'm so sorry for everything that I've done. For not realizing everything that you've ever done for me.

5...

Haymitch I hope that I manage to make you proud. I know that I've done so much stupid shit to you.

4...

President Snow was going to see what it means to be in a real war. Everyone was right. Things were changing. They were going to change. They had to change. No more of this.

3...

Whatever it was that Seneca had given me was going to work in my favor. We were going to make this work. I had to make this work.

2...

Because I am the Mockingjay.

1...

For Cinna.

The gong went off and I immediately sprang off of the platform, taking a deep breath before hitting the water. My head hit the water and my body quickly followed. I gave myself no time to adjust before I began pumping my legs and arms as fast as they could go. The water was ice cold and I knew that my body wanted to lock up. But I couldn't. I had to keep moving.

Just like last year, I didn't even hesitate before I dove into the water. It was a longer distance than I was used to, and navigating the waves took a little more skill than swimming across my quiet lake at home, but my body seemed oddly light and I managed to cut through the water effortlessly. Maybe it was the salt. Finnick would have known. I couldn't tell what was happening elsewhere. I didn't care. _Just get to the mouth_.

There was a reason that I was still out here. Those reasons were either back in District 12 or they were right here. I had to move as fast as I could. Haymitch and Cato were out here somewhere. So was Finnick. We all meant something to each other. I knew that if there was any chance at making this rebellion a real thing, it meant that we had to stick together. I popped my head above the water for air for a moment to see that I was only a few feet away from the rock path. I took another deep breath before propelling myself under the water.

It was only another second or so before my hand hit the rocks. I straightened myself up and popped my head above the water. To my complete shock, just about two feet behind me was Gloss. Damn it. He had decided to pick the same path to run on. I jumped out of the water as fast as I could - watching Woof fall off of his platform behind us - and began in a dead sprint to the Cornucopia. I was dripping water as I sprinted up the pathway.

Enobaria and Cashmere were both getting close to the rocks. My chest twisted with nerves as I ran for my life. Where the hell was Cato? No one else was converging from my side, although the horn blocked a good portion of my view. I didn't let the thought of adversaries slow me down. I was thinking like a Career now, and the first thing that I wanted was to get my hands on a weapon. My only thought was to run and take down Gloss.

Last year, the supplies were spread out quite a distance around the Cornucopia, with the most valuable closest to the horn. But this year, the booty seems to be piled at the twenty-foot high mouth. Behind me Gloss was still running. He wasn't quite as fast as me but he did take longer strides. He was only a few feet behind me as I dashed over the rocks. I thought about turning back and fighting him but I knew that he was stronger. And I had almost drowned once. I wasn't fond of it happening again.

No. Running it was. I could get the bow. It was right there. Finally I found myself only a few feet away from the Cornucopia. Gloss was trying to break in the other direction as I arrived at the mouth and grabbed the bow. Slipping an arrow out of the sheath - which I didn't bother to throw on - I shot blindly at him. I missed any fatal shot but I had still hit him in the thigh. Gloss crunched over in pain as I grabbed another arrow.

"Damn it! Bitch!" Gloss shouted before falling into the water.

Immediately I threw on the sheath and turned back to see who else was running up. I just had to keep guard until Cato and Haymitch got here. I kept the arrow on the bow but didn't shoot it off. I couldn't see where Gloss had gone. Coming up the next spoke over was Enobaria. _Sorry, Cato, forgive me._ I pulled the arrow back and shot off. If only she hadn't seen it coming. She dove off back into the water and I groaned. That shot would have been fatal.

Turning back at the sound of gravel crunching I saw that it was only Finnick. My bow and arrow was still raised as I waited to see whether or not he was going to do anything wrong. He was holding a trident similar to the one that he had used in his own Games. Maybe they were rooting for him. He grinned at me and with the hand that was holding the trident, he raised up his forearm. A net was dangling from his other. He was grinning at me.

Were we still friends? "Nice of you to make him angry," Finnick teased, motioning back towards where Gloss had fallen in.

"You're welcome," I said tensely.

Even though Finnick was smiling, his muscles were contracted. "You can swim, too. Where did you learn that in District 12?" Finnick asked.

"We have a big bathtub," I answered.

"You must. You like the arena?" Finnick asked.

"Not particularly. But you should. They must have built it especially for you."

We were still very tense. The Capitol audience must have been fascinated. There was an edge of bitterness to my voice. It seemed like it, anyway, with all the water, when I bet that only a handful of the Victors could swim. And there was no pool in the Training Center, no chance to learn. Either you came in here a swimmer or you had better be a really fast learner. Even participation in the initial Bloodbath depended on being able to cover twenty yards of water. That gave District 4 an enormous advantage.

For a moment we were frozen, sizing each other up, our weapons, our skill. Then Finnick suddenly grinned. "Lucky thing we're allies. Right?" Finnick offered.

Friends we might have been, but right now we were enemies. Sensing a trap, I was about to let my arrow fly, hoping that it would find his heart before the trident impaled me, when he shifted his hand and something on his wrist caught the sunlight. A solid-gold bangle patterned with flames. The same one I remembered on Haymitch's wrist the morning I began training. I briefly considered that Finnick could have stolen it to trick me, but I didn't see Haymitch, and I somehow knew that it wasn't the case. Haymitch gave it to him. As a signal to me. An order, really. To trust Finnick.

I could hear other footsteps approaching. I had to decide at once. "Right!" I snapped.

Even though Haymitch was my Mentor and trying to keep me alive, and I had suggested more than once that I wanted Finnick, and this was also Haymitch's alliance, his actions angered me. Why didn't he tell me that he had made this arrangement before? Probably because Cato and I had ruled out allies. He knew that I wasn't thinking about having anyone with us. Now Haymitch had chosen one on his own.

Duck," Finnick said quickly.

I didn't hesitate before dropping to the ground. It was in such a powerful voice, so different from his usual seductive purr, that I did as told. His trident went whizzing over my head and there was a sickening sound of impact as it found its target. The man from District 5, the drunk who threw up on the sword-fighting floor, sank to his knees as Finnick freed the trident from his chest. I straightened up and stared curiously at Finnick.

"Don't trust 1. I'll take this side," Finnick said.

We had to get through the Cornucopia and find everything that we needed. I was lucky, in a way, that the arena was water. Hardly anyone could swim. Finnick nodded, and I darted around the pile. About four spokes apart, Enobaria and Gloss were just reaching land again. Either they were slow swimmers or they thought the water might be laced with other dangers, which it might well be. Sometimes it wasn't good to consider too many scenarios. But now that they were on the sand, they would be here in a matter of seconds.

"Anything useful?" Finnick shouted.

Was there anything useful? Sure. If you could actually use any of it. There were a number of things in the Cornucopia, more than I had originally been expecting, but they weren't all normal things that I had seen before in past Games. Maybe it was because it was a Quarter Quell. I quickly scanned the pile on my side and found maces, swords, bows and arrows, tridents, knives, spears, axes, metallic objects I have no name for... and nothing else. No survival material.

"Weapons! Nothing but weapons!" I called back.

"Same here. Grab what you want and let's go!"

So I darted through the pile again. Enobaria was back on land and I shot another arrow at her. Just like last time she was expecting it and dove back into the water before the arrow could find its mark. The woman from District 9 wasn't quite as swift, and I sank an arrow into her calf as she plunged into the waves. I slung an extra bow and a third sheath of arrows over my body, slid two long knives and an awl into my belt, hooked a pack of throwing knives over me, and met up with Finnick at the front of the pile.

"Do something about that, would you?" Finnick offered.

What was happening? I glanced up and saw Gloss barreling toward us. His belt was undone and he had it stretched between his hands as a kind of shield. I shot at him and he managed to block the arrow with his belt before it could skewer his liver. Where it punctured the belt, a purple liquid spews forth, coating his face. As I reloaded, Gloss flattened on the ground, rolled the few feet to the water, and submerged. The arrow managed to go straight through his shoulder but it wasn't a kill shot.

There was a clang of metal falling behind me. "Let's clear out," I told Finnick.

Unfortunately it didn't look like he was done just yet. That last altercation had given Enobaria and Gloss time to get back onto the walkways. Cashmere was within shooting distance and somewhere, certainly, others were nearby, too. The classic Careers would no doubt have a prior alliance. With Cato being the exception, of course. If I had only my own safety to consider, I might be willing to take them on with Finnick by my side. But it was Cato who I was thinking about.

"You hold them off. I'll go find Cato," Finnick said.

Nodding at him, I dashed off as he went to search out my husband. Despite wanting to go and find him myself I knew that it was a better idea that Finnick went to go find him. He was still better in the water than I was. I turned back towards the Cornucopia and stared at it for a moment. I was right before. Nothing in here was anything for survival. The only things in here were weapons. They wanted us gone. And fast. I grabbed another pack of knives and strapped them to my waist quickly.

As I turned I saw Gloss sprint back up the rock pathway that we had been on a moment ago. He was just a few feet behind the male Morphling. He had just run away from the Cornucopia a moment prior. I'd meant to shoot him but Finnick had distracted me. I watched as Gloss grabbed the Morphling and shoved him to the ground. He wrenched a small knife out of his hand before jamming it down into his forehead. I cringed and looked away at the scene as Gloss grinned at me.

He turned and began to head for the Cornucopia again. He had a few wounds from my earlier arrows. I knew that I was going to have to move quickly. I saw that Woof had finally managed to get onto one of the little rock paths and I groaned as I stared at him. He was going to be an easy target. But he hadn't done a damn thing. _Don't think. Just kill._ So I grabbed an arrow and nocked it, shooting it directly into Woof's upper thigh. He was too far away for me to make an accurate shot.

He dropped to the rock and let out a piercing scream. Enobaria, who was holding a small sword, dashed over to where Woof was laying and bile rose in my throat. She was going to kill him because I had injured him. He could have gotten away if I hadn't shot him. I shook my head and pushed those thoughts into the back of my mind. I had to do this. There was no option. _Don't think. Just kill._

She ran over with her sword and raised it up, jamming the sword through his stomach. He let out a sharp yell before dropping to the ground. I heard a soft cannon go off in the background. They would play them again later tonight when everyone was settled. Enobaria turned back to me with a wicked grin on her face. Her teeth were glinting in the sunlight and I grimaced as she yanked her now-bloodied sword from Woof's stomach.

"Nice aim, Girl on Fire!" Enobaria shouted with a little chuckle. "Came a little late though, didn't it?"

No part of me appreciated the little hit about my miss to her earlier. I didn't answer her. I was still shaking from what had happened with Cinna. I couldn't get my act together. I merely turned and waited for another person while Finnick was still on the hunt for Cato. My stomach was bundling with nerves. Where the hell was he? Dashing from the area that I was in I turned and ran. I could help find Cato.

The last thing that I needed was to find myself locked in a fight with Enobaria. She was strong and dangerous. As I ran around the edge of the Cornucopia I saw the District 9 female. The same one I'd shot earlier. She stared at me with wide eyes and without giving her a moment to raise the knife at her side, I shot off the arrow that was nocked. It flew straight at her and she had no time to duck as it went straight through her stomach. She dropped to her knees with an ear piercing scream.

She'd be dead in a matter of minutes. But she never got the chance. Turning to run past her again, I was cut off by Gloss coming up behind her. I wasn't going to be able to run past him. This had suddenly gotten a hell of a lot harder. Gloss grinned at me as he grabbed her by the roots of her hair, pulling her up to him. He slid the knife that he was holding around her neck and she dropped to the ground, bleeding. A cannon sounded a moment later.

Gloss turned the knife towards me and smirked. "She's first, you're next!" Gloss snarled.

He began to run towards me and I shrieked, stumbling back. I hadn't gotten the chance to fire at him before. I hadn't even been expecting him to be that close to me. But I could manage. I would survive this. Because I was more of a Career than he was. For Cinna. To get back at President Snow. Unfortunately I never had the time to do anything else. I simply had to rip a knife out of my sheath and get barreled over as Gloss hit straight into me.

We both went sprawling to the ground. His knife came flying at my face and I ducked out of the way. It just barely missed my temple. I raised up the knife that I was holding and jammed it forward. I had no idea what else to do. I wasn't aiming. I was slightly surprised when it went straight through his shoulder. He howled and I took the opportunity to wrench it away and toss it back into the water. I dashed back and threw out a kick to his groin - a dirty shot on my behalf - before standing and running.

Around the corner I could see that Cashmere was taking out Seeder with a knife to the neck. I grimaced as I ran around the back of the Cornucopia. I wanted to get the hell away from this place. I had to find Haymitch, Cato, and Finnick and we needed to get out of here. I had no time to fight. As I dashed around the corner I slipped another arrow out of my sheath. As I turned the corner I smacked right into another Tribute. I immediately knew who she was. It was the female from District 10.

"Shit," I howled.

No part of me had thought that anyone else was around here. In the meantime she reached for a knife in her pocket. The whole thing reminded me very much of the time that I had accidentally run into Finch. But this was not going to end the same way. I tightened my hold on the bow before pulling the arrow back and shooting towards her. The arrow pierced through her eyes and I watched as she fell to the ground, dead. A cannon went off in the background. I saw the blood pouring out of the wound and I grimaced.

Kicking the knife that was in her hand into the water, I grabbed another arrow and ran off. There was nothing more that I could do. Before I let the Cornucopia I grabbed a large sword similar to the one that Cato had used last year. I wasn't sure where he was but he hadn't shown up at the Cornucopia yet. I hooked the sword around my belt before turning and running off. As I rounded the corner towards the back of the Cornucopia I saw that Finnick was rounding the corner, too. He was probably looking for me.

He grabbed by the arms and motioned towards the spokes. "Aspen, Mags found him. He's over here," Finnick said.

We both turned and began to run at a full sprint down the rocky path. Cato had been on the pedestal completely opposite me. That was why I hadn't been able to see him during the countdown. We ran over and I turned back long enough to see that Cashmere was currently leaning over Cecilia. Cecelia with three children back home that were waiting for her. I cringed as I saw her stab Cecilia through the chest. She fell to the ground as another cannon boomed softly.

We ran down the rocky path towards Cato's spoke and I saw that he was splashing around in the water with another one of the Tributes. I couldn't tell who it was. It was a male. All I knew was that the male was relatively large and could definitely hold his own with Cato while neither one of them had a weapon.

"I don't know if he can swim! Come on!" I shouted at Finnick as we ran down the rocky path.

As we ran I heard Cashmere calling out to me. "Keep running Girl on Fire!" she yelled out.

What was it with the women from District 1 hating me as much as they did? I would never be able to understand that one. It didn't matter though. I turned back to her with a brief snarl as I continued to run. They weren't going to get to me. The only thing that mattered was that I got Cato out of here alive. I had to get him away from that man. Finnick grabbed me to pull me along faster.

I was just about to jump off into the water when Finnick held out a hand to stop me. Haymitch and Mags were already there. "Okay, hold up. Hold up. I got him," Finnick said.

Suspicion flickered up inside me. Could that all just be a ruse? For Finnick to win my trust and then swim out and drown Cato? "I can," I insisted.

But Finnick had dropped all his weapons to the ground. "Better not exert yourself. Not in your condition," Finnick said.

What the hell was that supposed to mean? Just a moment later he reached down and patted my abdomen. Suddenly I felt like quite the idiot. Why hadn't anyone told me that I was supposed to still be acting? Because I shouldn't have needed to be reminded... _Oh, right. I'm supposed to be pregnant_. While I was trying to think what that meant and how I should act - maybe throw up or something - Finnick had positioned himself at the edge of the water.

"Cover me," Finnick said.

He disappeared with a flawless dive. I raised my bow, warding off any attackers from the Cornucopia, but no one seemed very interested in pursuing us. In the meantime, Finnick swam over to them as both bodies were dunked under the water. Finnick followed a moment later. I was getting jittery as I took a step forward towards the edge. I had to help him. Haymitch knew what I was doing as he extended an arm out to stop me from jumping in after them.

Haymitch grabbed me and pulled me back towards the rocks. "No. Let them. Finnick is better in the water than you are," Haymitch said.

"I can shoot him," I said.

"Don't! You can't see them," Haymitch warned.

The bodies came back up for a moment before dipping under again. My heart was pounding in my chest as I kept an arrow nocked. If he killed Cato I'd torture him. A cannon boomed as the water stopped moving. "Oh my God," I breathed out softly.

What the hell was happening? A moment later a body floated to the surface. I made a move to jump into the water to check who it was when Haymitch grabbed me. "Stay here," Haymitch snapped.

My limbs were shaking. A rock behind us cracked slightly and I turned back with my arrow ready to fire. "Calm down," a female voice called.

It was Enobaria, who was grinning at us. "No! Don't fire that arrow!" Haymitch shouted.

Enobaria raised her hands as she slipped her sword into her belt. "I come in peace. Cato may be your husband but he's still my District partner. Where he goes, I go," Enobaria said.

I didn't know if I could trust her. "Yeah, right," I sneered.

"I'd imagine the Star-Crossed Lovers have the best Sponsors. I'm on your side, Aspen."

For a moment the two of us just stared at each other. But it didn't take long for me to nod at her. I needed to make sure that Cato was alright, not have a pissing contest with her. "Fine. I don't trust you," I warned, slipping off the arrow and re-sheathing it.

Enobaria nodded at me with a wicked smile. "Goes the same way for you," Enobaria said.

The two of us turned back to see two bodies rise to the surface. The first was Finnick and I noticed that he had his arm around someone else. _Cato._ Other than a small scratch on his arm and looking completely exhausted - he seemed to be red in the face from the lack of oxygen as he had been under for quite some time - he seemed to be fine. At least we'd beaten the Bloodbath. Finnick was helping guide him back over to the rocks.

"Here you go. Okay," Finnick muttered.

They came over to the edge of the rocks as I leaned over and grabbed Cato's hand. "Cato!" I shouted.

My entire frame was shaking. I'd already lost Cinna today. I couldn't risk losing Cato, too. I grabbed Cato around the arms and yanked him up onto land. Cato pulled himself up onto the rocks before grabbing me in a hug. I pushed the wet hair back off of his face as I turned to get out of here. We couldn't linger long with Gloss and Cashmere around. They were still dangerous and wouldn't be happy that we took Cato and Enobaria.

"You all right now? Okay?" Finnick asked Cato, who was still breathing heavily.

Cato nodded at Finnick as I gave him a hand. "Yeah. I'm fine. Thanks, man," Cato told Finnick.

The body in the water turned over and I saw that it was the male from District 9. He was an older man but he was extremely strong. I'd noticed that his arms were extremely muscular while he was training with a sword. But he wasn't as strong as Cato and that was what had got him. Finnick chuckled and shook his head at Cato.

"Don't thank me. You're the one that got him. You alright?" Finnick asked Cato.

After a moment Cato nodded. At least he'd only had to kill the one man. I felt extremely guilty for Woof. He was my fault. "Yeah," Cato said after a moment.

As we turned away from the Cornucopia - where Gloss and Cashmere were watching us with angry stares - I reached around to get the sword off of my belt. I handed it over to Cato and he took it with a little smile towards me. "Thanks," Cato said.

"Sure. Here. Grabbed it from the Cornucopia," I said.

"Thanks."

He grabbed it and began to look the blade over. "Come on. We should get out of here. Head into the jungle and try to find high ground. Anything to get us the hell away from them," I said, motioning back to the remaining Careers.

Everyone looked back over at them. Enobaria almost looked wistful as she looked at them. "She's right. Water is the first priority. Food is the next. Jungle is thick enough for shelter," Haymitch said.

We all nodded as we walked down the rock pathway and headed into the opening of the jungle. "Water, too. I wouldn't risk drinking that," I said, motioning to the beach.

"Everyone has a weapon?" Haymitch asked.

Each of us nodded. Cato and Enobaria had a sword. Haymitch seemed to have a dagger. Finnick had his trident and I had my bow and arrows and my knives. Mags was the only one without a weapon but it was best to leave her without one. I glanced over at Haymitch as we walked and I noticed that there was a tear in his Tribute costume. It was on the left arm. I glanced over at him and stared as I saw a little bit of blood pouring out of the wound. Someone had stabbed him.

I grabbed his arm and pulled the material away. It looked more like a scratch rather than a stab. "Were you hit?" I asked.

Haymitch pushed me off of him gently. "Gloss got a little too friendly," Haymitch said.

Gloss was the reason that I very nearly had lost my head earlier today. "Of course," I muttered.

"I'll live," Haymitch said when he saw that I was still worried.

We were going to have to be careful trying to find something to keep infection at bay. Even for little scrapes. "I picked up a medical kit for Mags to take before I left the Cornucopia," Finnick said.

It must have just been the one because I didn't see anything else other than weapons. "I thought it was only weapons?" I questioned.

"Saw it when we were darting off. Should be some stuff in there to help you out. Anyone else hit?" Finnick asked.

Everyone chirped in by saying, "No."

As we walked I look over at the others. Was no one going to comment on the fact that they had only given us ten seconds to prepare? "What the hell happened to getting a minute before the Bloodbath?" I asked as we entered the jungle.

Cato turned to me and nodded. "We're all Victors. Doubt they thought that we'd need the time. Probably something to try and throw us off," Cato said.

It was the truth. They didn't want us having time to actually correct ourselves. And I had a feeling that they wanted to have me completely off after watching Cinna die. A little pain went through my chest at the thought. It was all done to throw me off. And it had almost worked. I was very close to screwing something up out there.

"He's right. Anyone that knows what they're doing shouldn't have needed more than the ten seconds," Finnick said.

"Comes with the Victor territory, I suppose," I muttered.

"Makes it harder for the weaker Tributes. Gets them killed off right away," Finnick added.

"They really do want us all gone," I said.

They were probably thinking of ways to kill the remaining Victors right now. "And fast," Haymitch added.

He was right. I wasn't expecting these Games to last more than a few days. "Just means we have to be careful," Cato put in.

"Keep a sharp eye out," Haymitch said.

As we walked I glanced all around us. The jungle was extremely thick and there was hardly any walking room other than the path we were on. It was also helped that Finnick was cutting away the plants that were in front of us. There were a lot of trees in the area but most of them looked almost impossible to climb. The branches were too high. Probably to ensure that everyone had to sleep on the ground. Good for Tributes to come across and mutts. These Games were going to be dangerous.

"Bob," Mags muttered, patting her waist.

I raised a brow. "Look, she's right. Someone figured it out," Finnick said.

Finnick pointed back to Beetee. We weren't far from the beach so we could still see out to the Cornucopia. He was flailing around in the waves but managing to keep his head above water. "What?" I asked.

"The belts. They're flotation devices. I mean, you have to propel yourself, but they'll keep you from drowning," Finnick explained.

Some part of me wanted to ask Finnick to wait, to get Beetee and Wiress and take them with us, but Beetee was three spokes over from where we had entered the jungle and I couldn't even see Wiress. She might have already been dead. She might have been one of the people killed in the Bloodbath. Bringing them with me would also risk their lives. And, after all, Cato had to be the one to live. For all I knew, Finnick would kill them as quickly as he did the Tribute from District 5, so instead I suggested that we move on.

It was time to get away from the rest of the Tributes. I handed Cato a bow, one of the sheaths of arrows, and a knife, keeping the rest for myself. He wasn't stellar with the bow and arrow, but he could manage. Mags tugged on my sleeve and babbled on until I had given the awl to her. Pleased, she clamped the handle between her gums and reached her arms up to Finnick. He tossed his net over his shoulder, hoisted Mags on top of it, gripped his tridents in his free hand, and we ran away from the Cornucopia.

Far enough away that the Careers - those that remained, anyways - and the rest of the stronger Tributes wouldn't be able to find us. None of us wanted to be in a fight this early on in the Games. We all wanted to wait for a few days. Or at least another day. Where the sand ended, the woods began to rise sharply. No, not really woods. At least not the kind I knew from back home. _Jungle_. Having the woods in the last Games was one of the reasons that I managed so well.

These were something very different. The foreign, almost obsolete word came to mind. Something I heard from another Hunger Games or learned from Ms. Everdeen. Most of the trees were unfamiliar, with smooth trunks and few branches. The earth was very black and spongy underfoot, often obscured by tangles of vines with colorful blossoms. While the sun was hot and bright, the air was warm and heavy with moisture, and I got the feeling that I would never really be dry here. The thin black and white fabric of my jumpsuit let the seawater evaporate easily, but it had already begun to cling to me with sweat.

After a while Cato took the lead, cutting through the patches of dense vegetation with his sword. He was doing a good job making us a path to walk down. I made Finnick go second because even though he was the most powerful, with the exception of Cato, he had his hands full with Mags. Besides, while he was a whiz with that trident, it was a weapon less suited to the jungle than my arrows. Enobaria was in the middle of us so that we could keep an eye on her and Haymitch was in front of me. I was bringing up the rear.

It didn't take long, between the steep incline and the heat of the arena, to become very short of breath. Cato and I had been training intensely, though, and Finnick and Enobaria were such amazing physical specimens that even with Mags over his shoulder, we climbed rapidly for about a mile before he requested a rest. I could tell that Haymitch was having a hard time with the walk but he said nothing. Even with the rest I thought that it was more for Mags's sake than his own. I glanced up and saw a high ridge in the distance.

"It looks like there's a ridge up there. Probably be a good spot for us to check out the arena and see what we can see," I said, heading over in that direction.

Finnick was side-by-side with me. Cato was behind me and every now and again he would poke me gently with the tip of his sword, making a small smile fall over my face. It almost reminded me of last year. "I don't know how many things that we'll be able to see through these trees. They're dense," Finnick said.

"I can try to climb one," I offered almost immediately. "Even if I can see a water source or another Tribute. Maybe an area that looks like somewhere that we need to avoid."

It was the same thing that I had done last year. Haymitch shook his head and continued pushing me towards the ridge. "Climb that tree tomorrow. We have other priorities tonight and the sun is starting to set," Haymitch said.

"No. I'll do it fast," I said.

"Extremely fast. We're the ones that need to be careful. We're a big group," Haymitch said.

"There's only six of us. That's a Career pack in some years," Cato butted in.

That was the whole point. Plus we had Mags - who couldn't fight - and Enobaria - who we couldn't trust. "That's the point. Right now we're the main threat in the arena," Haymitch said. We had Cato, myself, Enobaria, and Finnick. Haymitch wasn't half bad either. "Despite that Gloss and Cashmere are still out there. Stay close and stay sharp."

"As long as there are still mutts in here I don't think that we're ever going to be the main threat in the arena," I said softly. "I'll be right back."

The green eyes of the wolf mutt reflected in the bushes for a moment and I jumped. _Calm down. There's nothing here._ The foliage had hidden the wheel of the Cornucopia from sight, so I scaled a tree with rubbery limbs to get a better view. It was not an easy tree to climb but I wanted to get out of here for just a minute. And then I wished that I hadn't. Around the Cornucopia, the ground appeared to be bleeding; the water had purple stains. Bodies laid on the ground and floated in the sea, but at this distance, with everyone dressed exactly the same, I couldn't tell who lived or died.

All I could tell was that some of the tiny blue figures were still battling. Well, what did I think? That the Victors' chain of locked hands last night would result in some sort of universal truce in the arena? No, I never believed that. But I guessed that I had hoped people might show some... what? Restraint? Reluctance, at least. Before they jumped right into massacre mode. _And you all knew each other. You acted like friends_. I had only one real friend in here. And he wasn't from District 4 or District 12.

My jaws tensed slightly. I let the slight, soupy breeze cool my cheeks while I came to a decision. Despite the bangle, I should just get it over with and shoot Finnick. Haymitch would be furious, but I wanted him dead. Just for the moment, I wanted him dead. It would be easier to just do it now and live with my guilt. There was really no future in this alliance. And he was too dangerous to let go. Now, when we had this tentative trust, might be my only chance to kill him. I could easily shoot him in the back as we walked.

It was despicable, of course, but would it be any more despicable if I wait? Know him better? Owe him more? No, this was the time to do it, as much as I loved Finnick. I took one last look at the battling figures, the bloody ground, to harden my resolve, and then slid to the ground. But when I landed, I found Finnick had kept pace with my thoughts. As if he knew what I have seen and how it would have affected me. He had one of his tridents raised in a casually defensive position.

"What's going on down there, Aspen? Have they all joined hands? Taken a vow of nonviolence? Tossed the weapons in the sea in defiance of the Capitol?" Finnick asked.

"No," I said.

"No," Finnick repeated. "Because whatever happened in the past is in the past. And no one in this arena was a Victor by chance." He eyed Cato for a moment."Except maybe Cato."

Finnick knew then what Haymitch and I knew. About Cato. Being truly, deep-down better than the rest of us. He was not the real Career. We were. He had been forced into it. He had shown me his true colors long ago and I was just now showing him mine. Finnick took out that Tribute from District 5 without blinking an eye. And how long did I take to turn deadly? I shot to kill when I targeted everyone. Cato had wanted allies. He would have wanted to see if some wider alliance was possible. But to what end? Finnick was right. I was right. The people in this arena weren't crowned for their compassion.

Not even Cato was. But he was nicer than I was. He believed that we could all be together in this. I had acted quickly in the slaughter. I held Finnick's gaze, weighing his speed against my own. The time it would take to send an arrow through his brain versus the time his trident would reach my body. I could see him, waiting for me to make the first move. Calculating if he should block first or go directly for an attack. I could feel that we had both about worked it out when Cato stepped deliberately between us.

"So how many are dead?" Cato asked.

Of course. Enobaria and Haymitch were watching us at the same time. Enobaria was grinning, waiting to see if I would make the first move. Haymitch had been giving me a look that could kill. And he likely would have attacked me if I had made the move to attack Finnick. Maybe I really had been the bad guy all along. Cato had always been willing to take people in. I had always wanted them dead... Like now. _Move, you idiot_. But Cato remained planted firmly between us.

"Hard to say. At least six, I think. And they're still fighting," I said.

"Let's keep moving. We need water," Cato said.

So far there had been no sign of a freshwater stream or pond, and the saltwater was undrinkable. Unless we got something to turn it into fresh water or got some help from a Sponsor. For a while we would be without water. But we would need it soon. It was incredibly hot. Again, I thought of the last Games, where I nearly died of dehydration.

"Better find some soon. We need to be undercover when the others come hunting us tonight," Finnick said.

We. Us. Hunting. All right, maybe killing Finnick would have been a little premature. He had been helpful so far. He had Haymitch's stamp of approval. And who knew what the night would hold? If worse came to worst, I could always kill him in his sleep. So I let the moment pass. And so did Finnick. The absence of water intensified my thirst. I kept a sharp eye out as we continued our trek upward, but with no luck. After about another mile, I could see an end to the tree line and assumed that we were reaching the crest of the hill.

"Maybe we'll have better luck on the other side. Find a spring or something," I offered.

Everyone agreed to move on. As we walked I felt Cato's hand on my back. He had a rather concerned look on his face. "Hey, what is it?" Cato asked, brushing back the hair that had fallen out of my braid on my face.

"What?" I asked, glad that no one else was listening.

"You looked like you were crying back there."

We slowed down to let the rest of the group walk forward. I dropped my voice to just above a whisper. "It was right before they launched us into the arena. Peacekeepers came into the room once I was sealed in the tube. They - They grabbed Cinna and - and they started to beat him," I said, my voice breaking as I remembered his bloodied looked horrified. "What?" he asked."They were about to beat him to death. His face was all bloodied and they slammed him against the tube. He was still alive when they took him away but - but I know. They killed him. They killed Cinna," I sobbed.

Cato grabbed me tightly and pressed a small kiss to my forehead. I was still shaking as I thought about Cinna. He had taken all of that just because of me. For me. "For the dress?" Cato asked.

"For the dress. And because they knew that it was going to hurt me. They killed him because of me," I said weakly.

My voice was breaking. "Don't say things like that. You didn't get Cinna killed," Cato said.

"I did."

"From day one he knew what he was doing. He knew that you were his Girl on Fire. And he knew what was going to happen to himself if he kept on."

"He's dead, Cato... He's dead because he stood by me."

"Exactly, Aspen. He did all of this because he believed in you. He still believes in you."

He didn't believe in anything anymore. He was dead. "One of the last things that we said to each other was that we loved each other and we were family. Then he said goodbye to me. Even during the first Games, he never said goodbye," I said.

At the time I had realized that his saying goodbye was strange. I had thought that he was saying goodbye to me because he knew that I had no intention of coming back. But I knew now why he had done it. Why he had said goodbye. Because he knew that it would be the last time that we would see each other. Not because I would die in the Games, but because he would die before they ended.

"He knew what was going to happen to him," Cato said.

"And he still did it anyways," I said softly.

He was such a good man. He was one of the best people that I had ever known. And I would never get him back. "He was a brave man. You're brave too. He always respected that," Cato said.

We walked a few more paces before my hands began to bunch. All I wanted to do was shoot someone. Slaughter them. Anyone that was standing near me. The cruel part of me knew that I could take out Finnick, Haymitch, Enobaria, and Mags before they could react. Four opponents down. But it wouldn't matter how much they liked me in the Capitol. They would hate me if I did that. I grabbed an arrow out of my sheath and began to twirl it. I had to do something to keep myself preoccupied.

"They aren't going to win," I snarled.

Cato gave me a confused glance. "What do you mean?" he asked.

"The Capitol. The Games. They aren't going to win. Because Cinna didn't want that. He gave his life so that I could prove that they don't get to win. That's what I'm going to do. Show them that they don't get to win. Not this time."

Perhaps it wasn't the nicest thing that I could have said but I knew that Cato was proud of me regardless. Maybe one day Cinna would be proud of me too. "He would have been very proud to hear you say that," Cato said.

The rest of the group seemed to finally notice our conversation. They turned back and Finnick raised his brow. "Who would?" he asked.

"Cinna..." I said softly.

Haymitch rested a hand on my shoulder. "He's watching, Aspen," Haymitch said.

He didn't understand. "No, he's not," I said.

"Probably as he designs some new costume for the Girl on Fire to wear," Haymitch said, rolling his eyes.

I turned a heated glare on Haymitch and snapped. "No, he's not. They killed him. Just before the launch," I growled.

Haymitch's eyes almost immediately dropped. I hadn't meant to say it just like that. It was the wrong thing for me to say and I knew that. Everyone that we were standing with looked shocked, including Mags. I was somewhat surprised as I didn't think that she really even understood what was going on right now.

"How do you know?" Enobaria asked.

"I saw it. I saw them. I saw him. They cornered him once I got into the tube and beat him to death in front of me. I tried to get out there to him but I couldn't," I explained.

I showed my hands to the others. They were already bruising. The bone all around my pinky was black and swollen. My shoulder was probably an ugly shade of blue too as it was throbbing. "Cinna's dead?" Haymitch asked softly.

"Yeah."

Finnick stepped forward and placed his hand on my other shoulder. "Then that's who you dedicate these Games to. We keep moving and we press on. We figure this out and we live. For Cinna," Finnick said.

Obviously we were over our previous spat. Mags smiled from behind him and chirped her agreement. I couldn't help but to smile slightly. "For Cinna," Haymitch added.

"For Cinna," Cato said.

"For Cinna," Enobaria said, after a moment.

And then it was only me. A few beats went by and I saw Cinna standing in the background and smiling at me. "For Cinna," I mumbled softly.

There was nothing to say after that. We simply started walking through the arena again. The air was solemn with the thought that Cinna was dead. Mags and Enobaria hadn't known him that well but they knew that he was one of the best people in the Capitol. Finnick, Cato, Haymitch, and I had known each other. And that was what really hurt. We all knew that he was the person that had always stuck up for us. It was me that was hurting the most. I was the one person that knew him the best.

Some part of me liked to think that I knew everything about Cinna. I knew that his parents were simple textile workers from District 8. I knew that he had been raised to know all about life in the Districts. I knew that he wanted to get District 12 to make his Girl on Fire. I knew that I was exactly the person that he had wanted. Then he wanted to have a Mockingjay. He wanted a Mockingjay and he got one. That was what I was going to use these Games for. I would give Cinna the Mockingjay he deserved.

As we walked I realized that I was completely drenched in sweat. It was boiling out here. These body suits weren't anywhere near as cool as I thought that they would be. It felt like I was still in the water around the Cornucopia. Hell, that was where I wanted to be. I wished that I was somewhere in the water. It was way too hot out here and the water was freezing cold.

"God, it's hot," I muttered as we walked. We had only been out here for about five or six hours but I was already boiling. "We gotta find fresh water."

Then a cannon fired in the distance. There went one more person. I didn't know who it was. All I knew was that we'd lost a fair amount of people today. "Well, I guess we're not holding hands any more," Finnick snorted.

Glancing over at him with narrowed eyes, I shook my head. "You really think that's funny?" I snapped. It wasn't funny. The Capitol was the monster but they were pinning the horrors on us because we were the ones that actually had to commit the acts. "Especially with all of this going on?"

Finnick turned and nodded at me. "Every time that cannon goes off, it's music to my ears. I don't care about any of them," Finnick said.

A little shiver shot up my spine. I trusted Finnick but... Should I have shot him? "Good to hear," I muttered as we continued on.

Enobaria and Haymitch were walking in the background. Mags was standing off to the side and I noticed that Finnick was watching her closely. Cato was leading the pack and I kept my eyes trained on his back. "There might be a few people that I care about," he said, with a little grin in my direction.

"Right," I said slowly, willing myself to trust him a little more.

"Want to face the Career Pack alone?" Finnick asked.

The two that were making up the Career Pack certainly didn't like me. "Of course not. If there really is a Career Pack. The only ones left are Gloss and Cashmere. Enobaria decided to stay with us. And of course, Cato. You and Mags, both with us," I said.

"Still, they're tough and it would be a fight against them. We have to be cautious. And there are still other threats in the arena. More than the Tributes," Finnick said.

If anyone knew about the dangers of the mutts I was sure that it was me. "I know. Trust me, after the Games last year I know that they're going to have all sorts of fun," I said.

"That's true," Finnick said.

We had all slowed down drastically - I assumed that they were all tired - and I turned back. "We shouldn't stay in one spot for too long. Let's keep moving," I snapped.

As per usual Gloss and Cashmere were probably out on the Tribute hunt. It was pretty obvious that they wanted the Games over as much as the rest of us. And that meant that the sooner that the other Tributes were dead the faster someone could go home. Our group walked around for another hour or so and I looked around the arena. So far I hadn't heard another Tribute or seen anything. No animals and no mutts. The arena was huge. I'd seen it earlier.

It was probably the size of the arena Haymitch had competed in. Cato was using his sword to cut through tangled vines. As we walked I glanced up towards the sun, looking over the trees. After a brief moment I saw something strange. Something glittery out of the corner of my eye. It was in the top-right corner of the arena sky. The force field. Somehow we had managed to make it all the way to the edge of the arena. Everyone was walking and as I was about to call out that we should go to the other way I saw that Cato was far too close.

"Cato, no!" I shouted.

Just as I said it Cato swung out his sword and connected with the force field. He was thrown back about ten feet towards us. The blow knocked Mags and Enobaria over as Haymitch and Finnick stumbled back. I could see the metal edge of the arena as I dashed up to Cato, who wasn't moving. After a moment the hologram of the jungle came back and I scrambled to my feet. I dashed over to Cato and dropped at his side, flipping him over. I wasn't fast enough to help him...

"Cato? Cato?" I called out to him, grabbing his face.

There was a faint smell of singed hair. I called his name again, giving him a little shake, but he was unresponsive. My fingers fumbled across his lips, where there was no warm breath although moments ago he was panting. I pressed my ear against his chest, to the spot where I always rested my head, where I knew I would hear the strong and steady beat of his heart. Instead, I found silence. I held my hand over his mouth and immediately panicked.

"He's not breathing. He's not breathing. He's not breathing! Cato!" I shouted, resorting to slapping him on the face.

My entire body was over Cato's as I desperately searched for something to do. Everyone else was still recovering from the blast. "What are you doing?" I snarled.

Finnick suddenly ran over and pushed me down the hill to get me away from Cato. Surely he intended to make certain that Cato was dead, to keep any hope of life from returning to him. I tried to get up but Finnick's hand came up and hit me so hard, so squarely in the chest that I went flying back into a nearby tree trunk. I was stunned for a moment, by the pain, by trying to regain my wind, as I saw Finnick close off Cato's nose again. I tore the bow off of my back, ready to shoot Finnick if need be, but Haymitch caught me and shoved me backwards.

"Let him! Let him. Stay back," Haymitch warned.

So I moved forward and dropped down at Cato's side as Finnick leaned over Cato and pressed his lips against his. I couldn't figure out for the life of me what he was doing. It was so bizarre, even for Finnick, that I steadied my hand. No, he wasn't kissing him. He had Cato's nose blocked off but his mouth tilted open, and he was blowing air into his lungs. I could see that, I could actually see Cato's chest rising and falling. Then Finnick unzipped the top of Cato's jumpsuit and began to pump the spot over his heart with the heels of his hands.

Now that I had gotten through my shock, I understood what he was trying to do. Once in a blue moon, I had seen Ms. Everdeen try something similar, but not too often. If your heart failed in District 12, it was unlikely your family could get you to Ms. Everdeen in time, anyway. So her usual patients are burned or wounded or ill. Or starving, of course. But Finnick's world was different. Whatever he was doing, he had done it before. There was a very set rhythm and method.

"Cato? Cato? What's he doing?" I asked, turning back to Haymitch.

Finnick wouldn't answer me right now. He was preoccupied. "It's called mouth-to-mouth resuscitation. He's trying to push air back into Cato's lungs. Right now he's compressing his chest. Trying to get his heart to start again. Let him do what he needs to do," Haymitch warned.

"Come on! Come on!" Finnick yelled, pressing harder against Cato's chest.

Tears flowed down my face as I stared at Cato. Finnick was trying desperately to save him. My hand wrapped around Cato's still warm one as I begged. "Please, wake up. No. Please, wake up," I said as a tear fell into my lap. He had to come back to me.

"Come on. Come on! Come on. Come on. Come on, Cato!" Finnick yelled as he went back and forth between the chest compression and mouth-to-mouth. The longer that we waited the worse that I felt about this.

Haymitch had a hand on my arm, ready to pull me away if Finnick couldn't get Cato back. "Please, Cato. Cato," I muttered softly as I leaned over him.

"Come on," Finnick muttered as he continued the compression.

Finally I noticed a little flutter behind Cato's eyes and Finnick immediately stopped his movements, sitting back slightly. I jumped forward, begging with myself that Cato really was alive. I left my weapons in the dirt as I flung myself at him. I brushed the damp blonde strands of hair back from his forehead, finding the pulse drumming against my fingers at his neck.

"Cato?" I asked desperately. _Please be alive._ His eyes opened as he panted slowly. I let out a little cry as Finnick backed away _. "_ Cato. Oh, my God."

He was extremely dirty from being thrown backwards. Cato opened his hazy eyes fully and smiled up at me. "Be careful. There's a force field up there," he said.

"Yeah," I cried weakly. I grabbed Cato by the sides of the head and pressed a small kiss against his mouth. "Oh, my God. You were dead. You were dead. Your heart stopped," I said weakly.

In the past it had always been him that had been forced to watch me injured, fighting for my own life. He had always been the strong one. Now it was the other way around. I knew how he felt. I had come so close to losing him. I couldn't lose any more today. I'd already lost Cinna. I couldn't lose Cato, too. Cato was smiling at me as I leaned down and gave him a tight hug. His arms were strong around me. Too strong for someone that had just died. My own were shaking pathetically.

"It's okay. It's working now," Cato breathed in my ear. My sobs, horrible choking noises, didn't stop. "It's okay, Aspen. Aspen?"

Now Cato was worried about me, which only added to the insanity of it all. "It's okay. It's just her hormones. From the baby," Finnick said.

I looked up and saw him, sitting back on his knees but still panting a bit from the climb and the heat and the effort of bringing Cato back from the dead. Everyone else was watching, very surprised at what had just happened. Haymitch looked shocked and a tiny bit heartbroken, if I wasn't mistaken. Enobaria looked shocked and Mags looked happy that Cato was back. I wondered what the people in the Capitol were thinking. Definitely that my love for Cato was absolute.

"No. It's not -" I got out.

Suddenly I was cut off by an even more hysterical round of sobbing that seemed only to confirm what Finnick said about the baby. He met my eyes and I glared at him through my tears. It was stupid, I knew, that his efforts made me so vexed. All I wanted was to keep Cato alive, and I couldn't and Finnick could, and I should be nothing but grateful. And I am. But I was also furious because it meant that I would never stop owing Finnick Odair. Ever. So how could I kill him in his sleep?

I pushed away from him gently and leaned back. "You... Do you wanna stand up?" I asked.

As terrifying as that had been, we'd made a lot of noise out here. We needed to keep moving. "Yeah," Cato said.

He was shaky on his feet as I dragged Cato up to a standing position. I knew that the hit from the force field had to have hurt. He straightened up completely as I wrapped my arms around his torso, crying softly into his shoulder. My entire body was shaking worse than it had before even going into the Games the first time. I knew that everyone was watching but I didn't care. He placed one hand on the back of my head, keeping me there. I could feel myself shaking against him.

"It's okay," Cato muttered in my ear.

After a moment I finally released Cato and we began walking again. Cato noticed that I kept an annoyingly close distance to him for the remainder of the hour. I didn't care. There was no way that I was letting something like that happen again. Cato had been dead. For a good minute or two he had been dead. It was why I stuck to the front of the group - seeing as I was the only one that knew how to spot the force field. Probably about an hour or two before the sun set we all stopped to take a break.

By the time that we were ready to leave, Finnick helped Cato to his feet while I tried to pull myself together again. Since I got up this morning I had watched Cinna get beaten to a pulp, landed in another arena, and seen Cato die. Still, I was glad that Finnick kept playing the pregnancy card for me, because from a Sponsor's point of view, I was not handling things all that well. I checked over my weapons, which I knew were in perfect condition, because it made me seem more in control.

"I'll take the lead," I announced.

Cato started to object but Finnick cut him off. "No, let her do it." He frowned at me. "You knew that force field was there, didn't you? Right at the last second? You started to give a warning," Finnick said.

"Yeah," I admitted.

"How did you know?" Finnick asked.

For a moment I thought about the answer as I hesitated. To reveal that I knew Beetee and Wiress's trick of recognizing a force field could be dangerous. I didn't know if the Gamemakers made note of that moment during training when the two pointed it out to me or not. One way or the other, I had a very valuable piece of information. And if they knew I had it, they might do something to alter the force field so I couldn't see the aberration anymore. So I lied.

"I don't know. It's almost as if I could hear it. Listen." We all went still. There was the sound of insects, birds, the breeze in the foliage.

"I don't hear anything," Cato said.

"Yes, it's like when the fence around District 12 is on, only much, much quieter." Haymitch gave me a funny look. Everyone listened again intently. I did, too, although there was nothing to hear. "There! Can't you hear it? It's coming from right where Cato got shocked," I said.

"I don't hear it, either. But if you do, by all means, take the lead," Finnick said.

I decided to play this for all it was worth. "That's weird," I said. I turned my head from side to side as if puzzled. "I can only hear it out of my right ear."

"The one the doctors reconstructed?" Cato asked.

"Yeah," I said, then give a shrug. "Maybe they did a better job than they thought. You know, sometimes I do hear funny things on that side. Things you wouldn't ordinarily think have a sound. Like insect wings. Or snow hitting the ground."

Perfect. Now all the attention would turn to the surgeons who fixed my deaf ear after the Games last year, and they would have to explain why I can hear like a bat. It would take the attention off of me for a little while, which I wanted. I didn't want them to start talking about my horrid reaction to Cato's death. It was pathetic and a little embarrassing, but hopefully enough to show him just what his death would do to me.

"You," Mags said, nudging me forward, so I took the lead again.

Since we were to be moving slowly, Mags preferred to walk with the aid of a branch Finnick quickly fashioned into a cane for her. It was nice to see her walking rather than being carried by Finnick. Then Finnick made a staff for Cato as well, which was good because, despite his protestations, I thought that all that Cato really wanted to do is lie down. But he was a Career, and didn't want to look weak, even though he was just dead. Finnick brought up the rear, so at least someone alert had our backs.

As we moved on, I walked with the force field on my right, because that was supposed to be the side with my superhuman ear. I would have to remember to play to that. But since that was all made up, I cut down a bunch of hard nuts that hung like grapes from a nearby tree and tossed them ahead of me as I went. It was good I did, too, because I had a feeling that I was missing the patches that indicated the force field more often than I was spotting them.

Whenever a nut hit the force field, there was a puff of smoke before the nut landed, blackened and with a cracked shell, on the ground at my feet. Exactly the way that Cato had looked after he had hit the force field. After a few minutes I became aware of a smacking sound behind me and turned to see Mags peeling the shell off one of the nuts and popping it in her already-full mouth.

"Mags! Spit that out. It could be poisonous," I warned.

She mumbled something and ignored me, licking her lips with apparent relish. I looked to Finnick for help but he just laughed. "I guess we'll find out," he said.

I went forward, wondering about Finnick, who saved old Mags but would let her eat strange nuts. Who Haymitch has stamped with his seal of approval. Who brought Cato back from the dead. Why didn't he just let him die? He would have been blameless. I never would have guessed it was in his power to revive him. Why could he possibly have wanted to save Cato? And why was he so determined to team up with me? We were friends. I had wanted to avoid him. He was even leaving the choice of if we fought to me.

I kept walking, tossing my nuts, sometimes catching a glimpse of the force field, trying to press to the right to find a spot where we could break through, get away from the Cornucopia, and hopefully find water. But after another hour or so of that I realized it was futile. We were not making any progress to the right. In fact, the force field seemed to be herding us along a curved path. I stopped and looked back at Mags's limping form, the sheen of sweat on Cato's face.

"Let's take a break. I need to get another look from above," I said.

No one seemed happy about my choice but they let me go anyways. Cato handed Finnick the bow to guard me while I went up in the air. Maybe it was strange, but I trusted that he wouldn't kill me right now. Or ever, actually. The tree I chose seemed to jut higher into the air than the others. I made my way up the twisting boughs, staying as close to the trunk as possible. No telling how easily the rubbery branches would snap. Still I climbed beyond good sense because there was something I had to see. As I clung to a stretch of trunk no wider than a sapling, swaying back and forth in the humid breeze, my suspicions were confirmed.

There was a reason that we can't turn to the right and would never be able to. From this precarious vantage point, I could see the shape of the whole arena for the first time. It had been somewhat easy to see last year but I hadn't really known that much about what was going on. I didn't know much about the arenas or force fields. Not at the time. Now, a year later, I knew much more. I even knew what I should have been expecting.

The arena was a perfect circle. With a perfect wheel in the middle. The sky above the circumference of the jungle was tinged a uniform pink. And I thought that I could make out one or two of those wavy squares, chinks in the armor, Wiress and Beetee called them, because they revealed what was meant to be hidden and were therefore a weakness. Just to make absolutely sure, I shot an arrow into the empty space above the tree line. There was a spurt of light, a flash of real blue sky, and the arrow was thrown back into the jungle. I climbed down to give the others the bad news.

"The force field has us trapped in a circle. A dome, really. I don't know how high it goes. There's the Cornucopia, the sea, and then the jungle all around. Very exact. Very symmetrical. And not very large," I said.

"Did you see any water?" Finnick asked.

"Only the saltwater where we started the Games," I said.

"Nothing else?" Haymitch asked.

"I don't think so," I said.

"There must be some other source. Or we'll all be dead in a matter of days," Cato said, frowning.

"Well, the foliage is thick. Maybe there are ponds or springs somewhere," I said doubtfully. I instinctively felt the Capitol might want these unpopular Games over as soon as possible. Plutarch Heavensbee might have already been given orders to knock us off. "At any rate, there's no point in trying to find out what's over the edge of this hill, because the answer is nothing."

"There must be drinkable water between the force field and the wheel," Cato insisted.

We all knew what that means. Heading back down. Heading back to the remaining Careers and the bloodshed from the other Tributes. With Mags hardly able to walk and Cato too weak to fight. No good odds. We decided to move down the slope a few hundred yards and continue circling. See if maybe there was some water at that level. I stayed in the lead, occasionally chucking a nut to my right, but we were well out of range of the force field now.

The sun was beating down on us, turning the air to steam, playing tricks on our eyes. By mid-afternoon, it was clear that Cato and Mags couldn't go on. Finnick chose a campsite about ten yards below the force field, saying that we can use it as a weapon by deflecting our enemies into it if attacked. And that was a good idea. Then he and Mags pulled blades of the sharp grass that grew in five-foot-high tufts and began to weave them together into mats.

Since Mags seemed to have no ill effects from the nuts, Cato collected bunches of them and fried them by bouncing them off the force field. That was about all that he could do with the exhaustion of having just been seriously electrocuted. He methodically peeled off the shells, piling the meats on a leaf. I decided to stand guard, fidgety and hot and raw with the emotions of the day. Thirsty. I was so thirsty. Finally I couldn't stand it anymore.

Mags and Cato looked like they might keel over at any moment. But she was old and Cato had just been electrocuted. "Come on, one of us should go to find some fresh water. It's boiling out here. We won't last very long without it. The food can wait," I said.

Finnick looked like he might move to help me out but Cato that moved first. "I'll go with you," Cato said.

He couldn't manage to stand. Instead he was shoved back down by Haymitch. "Hell, no. You just took a full force blow to the force field. You need to sit down and rest for the day," Haymitch said.

"I can do it," Cato insisted.

"No. Finnick or I will go with you," Haymitch said, looking at me.

Cato tried to stand again. He managed but dropped a few seconds later. He was exhausted. "But -" Cato began.

"He's right, Cato," I said, walking over to him. I smiled and pressed a small kiss against his lips. "You need to stay here and try to build your strength back up."

"I hate this," Cato groaned.

"I know, but you'll be better in the morning. Finnick and Enobaria, you guys stay," I told them. They both looked confused as I motioned for Haymitch to follow me. "Haymitch, come with me."

He looked a little befuddled but nodded to follow me anyways. Before I could move Cato grabbed my hand and pulled me down so that he could press a soft kiss to my lips. "Be careful out there," Cato warned.

"You know me, I'm always careful," I teased.

"Keep listening for the force field, okay?" Cato asked.

"Of course. I'll see you soon."

Once I had given him a final kiss, I turned and walked away from him. As much as I wanted to linger and love him, I knew that we had to get water. It was too hot to just wait it out. Haymitch followed directly behind me as we began walking through the jungle. Thankfully we were both smart enough to walk in the opposite direction of the force field. As we walked I looked around at the different places that someone could be hiding. It was literally anywhere. There were places to hide in every step.

The one remaining Morphling was going to have good luck if she was careful. As we walked I heard Haymitch crunching on every leaf, blade of grass, and twig in the area. If there were any Tributes he was going to lead them straight to us. And if there were any animals in the area he was going to scare them off. But that might actually be a good thing. But it was driving me nuts. And considering that we still hadn't found any water it was just making it worse. After walking for about an hour there was still no sign of water. We were going to dehydrate before the end of tomorrow if we weren't careful.

"Haymitch," I finally snapped as he stepped on a particularly loud twig. "You walk so loud. Be quiet."

Haymitch turned back to me with a nasty glare. "Well then why the hell didn't you take pretty boy?" he snapped.

Finnick was definitely a quieter walker. "Because I'm not sure that I trust Enobaria just yet. She was a Career and I saw the way that she was looking after Gloss and Cashmere. She wanted to be with them. If someone is going to stay back there and watch over Cato I want it to be Finnick. I know that he could beat her," I said.

Haymitch raised his brows and after a moment he smiled. "Smart girl. You're finally starting to think like a real Victor," Haymitch said.

"Thanks," I deadpanned.

"Someone needs to keep an eye on her at all times. Just in case."

"I was planning on it."

Of course I would start acting like a Victor right before I was about to die. It didn't matter. As long as I kept Cato safe and he was going to be the Victor of the Third Quarter Quell, it was the only thing that mattered. Even if I only acted like a Victor for a few more days. We walked in silence for a while and I noticed that Haymitch had begun to walk quieter. Neither one of us wanted to get into a fight with the other. Not in our final days.

"Is it weird being back here?" I asked after a beat.

He looked over with a somewhat amused smile. "Ask yourself that same question," Haymitch said.

"It's not that weird. I was just here a year ago. And ever since I won I knew that something was going to happen to me. I almost figured that I would be back here. But for you... I mean it's been twenty-five years since you were in here," I said.

Being here after so long... A nightmare. There were people in here that hadn't been here in nearly four or five decades. "It's not really that strange to be back. I had a feeling that I would be back here one day. And the moment that I met you, I knew that you were going to change things," Haymitch said.

He hadn't meant it as an insult but it felt like one. I stared at him sadly and shook my head. "I'm sorry, Haymitch. I really am," I said softly.

We walked out to an opening through the trees and I glanced out over the sky. The sun was setting but I could just see the sparkle on the other edge of the arena where the force field was. The arena was actually a little smaller than I had expected it to be. Larger than average, but smaller than Haymitch's first one. There must have been some serious mutts hidden out here. I couldn't imagine that this was all just empty space.

"You have nothing to be sorry for. This is a good thing," Haymitch said.

"How is this a good thing?" I asked, motioning around us.

Haymitch gave me a little grin that I hadn't seen on his face since I'd admitted to throwing a knife at Seneca Crane in the first Games. "I've just got a feeling," Haymitch said.

There was another moment that he wasn't going to tell me the plan. I rolled my eyes at him but continued walking anyways. We didn't bother saying anything else as the two of us walked but I did notice that Haymitch was becoming even quieter with his walking. The two of us headed every which way but we couldn't find anything. There seemed to be only a certain amount of terrains in the arena and none of them included any drinkable water.

We made our way back over to the Cornucopia. Unlike last year it hadn't been picked clean. Probably because there had only been weapons this year. Finnick was lucky that he'd found the one medical supply kit. It had probably been there to draw the smaller and weaker Tributes. Possibly the older ones, too. Blight probably could have used it as I frequently saw him falling over during training. He wasn't that old but he was a little foolish and senile. Although Johanna seemed the slightest bit fond of him.

Speaking of Johanna, I hadn't seen her at all during the Bloodbath. I had a feeling that she was probably a slow swimmer so it must have taken her a while to get to the Cornucopia. Probably long after Finnick and I had left. She had more than likely taken an axe. I'd seen a few before I'd taken off. I really wasn't sure if anyone else had died after I'd left the Cornucopia. And I wasn't sure that I really cared either. I just wanted to get done with these Games so Cato could enjoy his life without me.

The problem was that this jungle was hard to move around in. The only place that I could really move around was just south of the Cornucopia. I wasn't sure how we were going to figure out how to find any of the other Tributes. It made me all the more nervous that it was going to be a mutt that was going to kill everyone in here. I wouldn't be surprised. Anything to torture us more than we already had been. Payback for what we had done in the Interviews.

Suddenly weak, I leaned against a tree to rest, feeling the heat draw the moisture from my body like a sponge. Haymitch gave me a hand, probably knowing that I was exhausted and emotionally drained from the day. Already, swallowing was difficult and fatigue was creeping up on me. I tried rubbing my hand across my belly, hoping some sympathetic pregnant woman will become my Sponsor and Effie could send in some water. No luck. I sank to the ground.

For a while Haymitch sat with me. We just stayed together. In my stillness, I began to notice the animals: strange birds with brilliant plumage, tree lizards with flickering blue tongues, and something that looked like a cross between a rat and a possum clinging on the branches close to the trunk. I shot one of the latter out of a tree to get a closer look. Haymitch walked with me as we looked at it.

It was ugly, all right, a big rodent with a fuzz of mottled gray fur and two wicked-looking gnawing teeth protruding over its lower lip. As I was gutting and skinning it, I noticed something else. Its muzzle was wet. Like an animal that had been drinking from a stream. Excited, and determined to move again, Haymitch and I started at its home tree and moved slowly out in a spiral. It couldn't be far, the creature's water source.

But it didn't matter. Nothing. We found nothing. Not so much as a dewdrop. Eventually, because I knew Cato would be worried about me, we headed back to the camp, hotter and more frustrated than ever. When we arrive, I saw that the others had transformed the place. Mags and Finnick had created a hut of sorts out of the grass mats, open on one side but with three walls, a floor, and a roof. Mags had also plaited several bowls that Cato had filled with roasted nuts.

Haymitch and I finally moved back to the clearing that we had been in - without spotting any other Tributes, animals, or water - after a good long walk around the arena. We moved back into the small clearing - if you could even call it that - which we had hidden ourselves in. I heard the clang of weapons being drawn and I called out.

"It's just us!" I shouted. The weapons all fell back to their sides as they stared at us. "We went on a walk around the arena. The force field... It's a dome. Just like it always is. We're at the edge of the arena." Where Cato had hit it was only about a quarter of a mile away. "We couldn't find any signs of fresh water."

Cato perked up the moment that he saw me. Someone had helped wash off his face since we had been gone. Probably Mags. "Nothing?" Enobaria asked, sounded exhausted.

"I'm sure that there's something, somewhere," I said after a moment.

We might have to rely on Sponsors. "I wouldn't be so sure about that. The Capitol wants these Games over with fast. Dehydration sets in around three days. And with the arena this hot, it won't be that long before people start to drop like flies," Haymitch voiced.

"You've said it yourself," Cato said, looking over at me.

"Said what?" I asked.

"That makes for boring deaths. It can't just be dehydration that they're counting on," Cato said.

Did nobody really understand what they were going to do? "Come on, what was one of the most popular moments of the last Games?" I asked. No one answered. "The wolf mutt that I fought against. The Capitol loves mutts. And I can only imagine what they've thought up for this year."

They would bring back the wolf mutt from last year. Or maybe make a new one. Something for me. "Probably mutts that are going to come up at night. We need to be careful. The sun is going to set soon," Enobaria said.

Haymitch and I had only turned back because we knew that the sun would be going down soon. "She's right. It's gonna get dark soon. We'll be safe with our backs protected. We should set up camp. Take turns sleeping. I can take first watch," Finnick said.

A little bubble of mistrust seeped into my chest. I wanted to be the one to watch over Cato while he was still weak. "Don't worry about it. I'll take the first watch," I said, stepping forward.

"You need to sleep," Finnick immediately argued.

Once more I shook my head. "I can't. I'll take the first watch," I argued.

Enobaria stepped forward and Cato and I tensed up. "Enough. Both of you," she snarled at Finnick and me. "I'll take the first watch."

It was almost comical watching everyone shout, "No!"

Enobaria turned with something akin to mirth in her eyes. "What?" she asked, motioning around to us. "You guys really don't trust me?"

Everyone rolled their eyes at her. I trusted everyone else here other than Enobaria. I'd seen the way that she looked after Gloss and Cashmere. "No one here trusts each other. As much as we all like each other. It's just the way that it is. I want to take the first watch," I said.

This time it was Haymitch that stepped in between us. "No, get some rest," Haymitch said.

"No."

"Finnick can take the first watch."

As we all stared at each other Finnick stepped forward with a slightly irritated look on his face. "Honey, listen to him. What I did back there for Cato. That was called 'saving his life.' If I wanted to kill either of you, I would've done it by now," Finnick said.

It was my turn to get angry. "I don't think that you're going to kill us," I snapped. It was the stress and dehydration speaking. We were both normally good friends. "I just thought that it might be a better idea for me to take the first watch. I can't sleep. I don't want to sleep. I don't want to close my eyes."

The others turned away at my admission but Cato was still watching us out of the corner of his eyes. "Then stay up for a while and keep watch with me," Finnick offered.

After a moment I nodded at him and walked over to where Cato was standing. We quickly ate the tree rat, not that it was very easy. We had so many of us and there was barely any meat on the animal. But it was enough to keep us for the night. We had to sear cubes against the force field because we couldn't risk anyone seeing the smoke in the smaller arena. We all gave Cato a round of applause for his brilliant idea before stopping, remembering where we were.

It was a might brighter idea to just remain quiet. Eventually I leaned up against Cato. He had since seated himself on the ground. Haymitch wasn't far from him. Mags was near the center of our small group and Enobaria was slightly off to the side. I kneeled next to Cato and smiled softly at him. For a while we chatted quietly back and forth as everyone else started to get ready for what was likely going to be a long night.

The white sun sank in the rosy sky as we gathered together in the hut. I was still leery about the nuts, but Finnick said that Mags recognized them from another Games. I didn't bother spending much time at the edible-plants station in training because it was so pointless for me last year. I had figured with Cato we would be able to get some food from the Cornucopia. Of course, there had only been weapons. Now I wished that I had. For surely there would have been some of the unfamiliar plants surrounding me.

And I might have guessed a bit more about where I was headed. Mags seemed fine, though, and she had been eating the nuts for hours. So I picked one up and took a small bite. It had a mild, slightly sweet flavor that reminded me of a chestnut. I decided that it was all right. The rodent was strong and gamey but surprisingly juicy. Really, it wasn't a bad meal for our first night in the arena. If only we had something to wash it down with.

Finnick asked a lot of questions about the rodent, which we decided to call a tree rat. How high was it, how long did I watch it before I shot, and what was it doing? I didn't remember it doing much of anything. Snuffling around for insects or something. I was dreading the night. At least the tightly woven grass offered some protection from whatever slunk across the jungle floor after hours.

But a short time before the sun slips below the horizon, a pale white moon rose off in the distance, making things just visible enough. The ease of the conversation only lasted so long. I knew that Enobaria would likely get over it, but for Haymitch, Finnick, and Mags, it was about to be tough. Our conversation trailed off because we knew what was coming. We positioned ourselves in a line at the mouth of the hut and Cato slipped his hand into mine.

"Why don't you get some rest? I'll take the first watch. Just for a little bit," I told Cato.

"I've been resting all day," Cato said.

That was because his heart had stopped. He needed to get his strength back. That was the only important thing. "That's what happens when you walk face-first into the force field," I teased gently.

"I'm fine, Aspen. And I want to see the fallen."

"Go to sleep, Cato. We'll wake you up in the morning."

"I should take a watch," Cato continued to try and argue.

"No you shouldn't. We can go back and forth. Tomorrow you'll take a watch."

Cato didn't look happy but he nodded anyways. "Fine," Cato conceded.

"Tonight it's going to be myself, Finnick, and Haymitch. You, Enobaria, and Mags are going to sleep. Once we learn to trust her maybe one of us will stay up with her on watch," I said.

One day we might be able to trust her. But until then we were all going to have a weapon trained on her at all times. "Okay," Cato said, nodding his consent. "Just yell if something's wrong."

"I will," I said as I turned away. "Go to sleep."

He grabbed me in a soft kiss for a moment before letting me go. I gave him one more small kiss before standing. "Goodnight," Cato said.

Everyone started to drift off as the fallen list seemed to be taking forever. Cato gave me a little wink and I laughed softly as I stood and walked over to sit next to Finnick on the log that he had placed himself on. He had his trident laying in his lap and I grabbed a small throwing knife. Just in case something decided to pay us a visit in the middle of the night. On the ground I noticed that everyone - even Mags - had a weapon at arm's length.

"How's Cato?" Finnick asked after a moment.

He would never act like there was any problem. "He's okay, I think. Just dehydrated like the rest of us," I said.

We needed water. Even though the temperature had dropped slightly without the sun it was still warm and we would start dropping soon enough. "That'll be our goal tomorrow. We'll go out and get some water," Finnick said.

"I'm not sure where we can find any. Probably somewhere in the deep jungle. It'll be just like in the desert area last year. Put things in there to scare off the rest of the Tributes," I said.

"Doesn't matter. We need to go out there and find something to drink. We're not going to get very far if we don't have water. Mags will go first. Haymitch afterwards. Enobaria will turn on us. One of us might die in that fight," Finnick said.

It was the truth. Enobaria was just with us by a thread. She would turn on us and we would have to be careful. "Sounds like you've thought all of this through," I told him.

"Trust me, Haymitch and I have thought through every possible way that these Games are going to go," Finnick said.

"But?" I asked, sensing that there was something else in this.

"But I know that something is going to happen."

In the Games like this there was always some type of issue. Nothing ever went the way that it was supposed to. "And that means?" I asked.

"Something always happens. I just hope that this time it's a good thing," Finnick said.

Nothing that came from these Games was ever a good thing. "Do you think that it will be?" I asked.

"Yes," he said, without hesitation.

We sat in silence for a while before I heard the first cannon boom in the distance. They were the ones counting the deaths of the first day. It had been hours. I was surprised that it had taken so long for the cannons to start going off. It was rather surprising. Normally they went off right after the fighting stopped. _One. Two. Three. Four. Five. Six. Seven. Eight._ No more followed. It was the same as last year. Probably not nearly as many as the Capitol was expecting.

"Eight," I said softly. "Do we know who they were?"

The Panem anthem played over the speakers and we watched as the first death portrait appear in the sky. It was the male from District 5. The one that Finnick had killed. Everyone sat up and watched as the faces played. "I took care of him. I shot him with the trident at the Bloodbath," Finnick said.

The next person to pop up on the screen was the male Morphling. I cringed, remembering his fingers on my face as he painted yellow flowers across my face. It was just a few days ago. "I saw him go down. Gloss killed him in the Bloodbath," I said.

The next image to pop up was of Woof. He had fallen off of his spoke, been shot in the leg by me, only to later be killed by Enobaria. "I got him after Aspen shot him in the leg," Enobaria said.

The next to pop up was of Cecilia. I wondered how her children were taking the news of her death. I wondered if they blamed me. "I saw Cecilia. Cashmere killed her in the Bloodbath," I said softly.

The next person to pop up was the male from District 9. Cato sat up slightly. "He tried to drown me in the Bloodbath. I managed to get to him first," Cato said. Part of me wanted to ask how he had killed the man but I stayed silent.

A moment later the female from District 9 appeared on the screen. "That one was me. Sort of. As we were running away she raised a knife at me. I shot her in the stomach and kept running. I think Gloss finished her off," I said. Another moment later the District 10 female appeared. "And that one was me."

Seeder was the next person's image to come up. "Saw that one get taken down by Cashmere. Knife to the neck got her," Enobaria said.

We all nodded as the Panem seal showed itself and the arena once more went dark. Everyone laid back down to go to bed as Finnick and I glanced out at the jungle. There were insects making a little bit of noise and the soft snores of our alliance members eventually filled the air but I never heard anything sound slightly menacing. After a little while I heard the soft chirping of a Sponsor package. Finnick and I glanced up to see it floating down.

Everyone was thrilled to see the Sponsor package. We were all hoping for the same thing. Water. We so desperately needed water. It was all that I wanted right now. Finnick and I immediately sprung to our feet and I noticed that Haymitch and Cato immediately shot up as well. Enobaria was a little slower to rise. Mags was the only one who remained asleep. Finnick motioned to the package as it landed near my feet.

"Whose do you think it is?" I asked.

"Hard to say. Let Cato open it, since he died today," Finnick said.

He walked over and ripped it open. There was a small tool in it that I stared at curiously. I was kneeling down next to him and staring at the thing sideways. What the hell was it? It was silver and had a large mouth along with a small spout. It looked familiar but I couldn't quite place it. Cato handed me the note and I grabbed it, reading over the words a few times. It didn't make sense, no matter how many times I read it.

 _Drink up - E_

"'Drink up'? And who's E?" I asked.

Haymitch walked over and grabbed the note. "It's Effie," Haymitch said.

"That makes sense," I said.

"Without a Mentor for the two of us to handle gifts Effie decided to step in to deliver things for us."

"That's sweet of her. And useful." I turned my gaze towards the sky and called out softly, "Sorry for calling you useless, Effie."

Back in the Capitol she was probably giggling at the screen and accepting my apology. Haymitch grabbed the silver tool from me. "I didn't know that you ever called her useless," Haymitch said, as the others began to rise.

Everyone was staring at the metal object as I tried to remember where I had seen it before. "It was mostly in my head. But I still felt like I should apologize for it anyways," I said.

If I was about to die I wanted to make amends with everyone that I knew beforehand. Finnick grabbed the tool. "Well what is it?" Finnick asked.

And then it hit me. I knew exactly what it was. "I know what this is!" I shouted, grabbing the tool and walking away. "At least I think that I know what it is. Gale used to have one of these. We broke it though. I think it's a spile."

"A what?" Finnick asked.

Finnick, Cato, and Enobaria all looked lost. Mags was still on the ground, somewhat out of it. Haymitch was nodding with a grin. Of course he would know what it was. "Like I said last year, this is why you Careers always die from stupid things like exposure or infection. Come here," I told them.

No one followed me for a moment. They all stared at me as I ran over to the nearest tree. I held the spile tightly in my hand as I glanced over the grass for something that I could use to smash it into the tree. After a moment of searching I found a large enough rock and picked it up. Slowly everyone followed me over to the tree as I found the center and began to beat the rock against the tip of the spile. It began to sink into the tree and once it was halfway in I stopped and waited.

The air was incredibly tense as everyone waited for something to happen. Finally water began to slowly trickle out. "You're kidding me. You're kidding me," Finnick said.

"I thought you were smarter than that," I said with a smirk, before turning back and leaning under the water stream. It was warm but other than that it was fine.

All that mattered was that I wasn't going to die of dehydration. "Come on! Move," Enobaria snapped.

Once I'd gotten enough I backed away and motioned for someone else to take over. I wasn't sure how long that this tree would give us water. "Here, come on! Get some water," I told everyone else.

"Oh my God," Cato laughed.

Maybe if we were lucky no one else had managed to get water yet. Cato was under the spout as Finnick waited. "Hurry up! Move it," Finnick snapped.

Cato moved away after a few minutes and walked over. He wrapped me in a hug and I smiled. "Nice job," Cato said.

A moment later Finnick backed away and Haymitch walked over to take his drink. "Good work, kid."

"Thanks."

They would have figured this out by themselves. It had just gone faster with me around. Enobaria walked over to the spile and I watched as she took her drink. "Damn. Water's never tasted so good," she said.

"I'm gonna get a leaf. I'll get some for Mags," Finnick said. We all stepped back and watched as he grabbed a leaf and filled it with water. He walked over to Mags and helped her drink it. "There we go." She drained the leaf and smiled at him. "Want some more?"

She shook her head and I grabbed the spile out of the tree. I opened up the belt on my waist and tucked it inside. "Best water I've ever had," I said.

Slowly people turned back to go to sleep. We had the water but we needed sleep, too. "Make sure that we keep that around. Never know when we might need more. It's so hot in here we need to make sure that we're drinking a lot," Haymitch said.

"Right," I agreed.

We had to keep an eye out on how much we were drinking. "Alright, everyone go get some rest. It's gotta be pretty late already and we need to be up early in the morning. These trees are probably pretty easy to see through," Finnick said.

"He's right. Go to bed. We'll change off shifts later," I told everyone.

Cato pressed one last kiss against my mouth before sinking to the ground and closing his eyes. Even a while after he had first laid down I knew that he was still awake. I could tell by the way that his chest was rising and falling. It wasn't steady enough for him to be asleep. I knew him so well to know exactly how he slept. I knew the sound of his footfalls, the way that his heart beat, and what all of his little facial movements meant.

Enobaria also took a while to fall asleep. I assumed that it was because she didn't trust us. It really was the other way around. Mags was back asleep almost instantly. Haymitch was asleep pretty fast, too. It was probably the first time in a long time that he had fallen asleep without a bottle in reach. Finnick and I sat together as we twirled our weapons in silence. Although after a few more minutes I heard something that sounded very much like a gong go off in the distance.

"Is that a gong?" I asked Finnick.

"Quiet."

 _One... two... three... four... five... six... seven... eight... nine... ten... eleven... twelve..._

"I counted twelve," I said, once they stopped.

What the hell were the gongs for? I had never seen something like that in the Games before. "Midnight?" Finnick suggested.

"Or the number of Districts?" I put in.

We both stared off into the distance as a rather large bolt of lightning struck over across the arena. The tallest tree in the arena had been struck as it lit up the night sky. Was the gong a warning? "Doesn't matter. We'll figure it out later. And it might be nothing. Might just be to freak us out," Finnick said.

That was just something to patronize me. We both knew that the gong was for something more than that. "You and I both know that's not the truth," I told him.

Finnick nodded but said nothing else. I appreciated it. "Still not gonna sleep?" Finnick asked.

Slowly I shook my head at him. I'd keep watch for the entire Games if I could. I didn't want to close my eyes. I didn't want to have to see what I normally saw in my nightmares. "I don't like what I see when I close my eyes," I said softly.

The last thing that I wanted was for Cato to still be awake and have to hear me say that. "Yeah. I understand that." After a moment he stood. "Well... If you're not gonna sleep, I will," Finnick said.

I nodded and watched as he took a seat close to where I was sitting. "Okay. I'll wake you up in a few hours to change shifts," I said.

"Let me know if you get tired."

"Will do."

He rolled over and closed his eyes. I sighed softly and stared into the distance. I couldn't believe that I was back here. Even more, I couldn't believe that Cato was back here. It was my fault, no matter what he thought. I glanced over at Cato's sleeping form and smiled. It was the most peaceful that I'd ever seen him. Normally he was irritable in his sleep. He almost always moved around. This was the first time in a long time that I'd seen him still in his sleep. _I'll save you, Cato. No matter what, I'll save you._

 **A/N:** Here's another fully edited chapter. **Let me know what you think!** Until next time - A

 **Guest: I hope that you enjoyed this one and I hope that it didn't take too long!**

 **MyNameIsMordecai: Oh no! Well I'm sorry for all of the emotion in the story but I like to think that it's a good thing! And thank you! Not to worry, things will work out for Aspen and Cato. Perhaps not now but at some point :) She's not really pregnant. Like in the original story the pregnancy was a plan to try and stop the Games but of course, it doesn't work. Hope you enjoy this one!**


	16. Chapter 16

Not long had passed since I'd taken over the watch. Maybe an hour. Maybe not even. I couldn't figure it out. But I was exhausted. From time to time I dozed off only to be rudely awaken by the fear of what was happening. It was the only reason that I wasn't going to change shifts with anyone else. At least not until I knew that nothing else was going to happen. Because I only trusted myself to watch and keep Cato safe. In the back of my mind I wondered if anyone back home was still watching.

It was probably a little after midnight. Not long ago I'd seen a rather large lightning storm in the distance. Uncomfortable in my spot, I stretched out, pressing my hot cheek on the grass mat, staring at the thing in aggravation. Just as Cato had done to me earlier, I reached back and rubbed a tense spot between my shoulders to let myself relax a little. I wondered why this place hasn't cooled off at all now that the sun had gone down. Maybe about five degrees or so.

Other than that, it still felt awful out here. Think of something else. I wondered what was going on back home, as much as I had tried to seal them off back on the train. But they had come back into my life after the wedding. Prim. Katniss. Their mother. Gale. Madge. Peeta's family. Cato's family. I thought of them watching me from home and Cato's from their home. At least I hoped that they were at home. Not taken into custody by Thread. Being punished as Cinna was. As Darius was. As Clio was.

Punished because of me. Everybody. They all were hurt because of me. Every single time. Me. I began to ache for them, even though I saw them just yesterday. I ached for my District and for my woods. A decent woods with sturdy hardwood trees, plentiful food, and game that wasn't creepy. Rushing streams. Cool breezes. No, cold winds to blow the stifling heat away. I conjured up such a wind in my mind, letting it freeze my cheeks and numb my fingers.

For now we were safe. It didn't seem like anyone was around us. I hadn't heard any cannons since they had gone off to signal the fallen Tributes for the day. There were still sixteen Tributes left. Something that I was sure that the Capitol wasn't happy about. They weren't going to let this drag out nearly two weeks like they had done with my Games. I was sure that within the next week the Capitol would have their Victor. And I was going to make sure that it was Cato.

Who was still sleeping soundly. I watched him closely, still nervous that something had happened to him after the force field incident. But he seemed to be fine. Probably hungry. Definitely thirsty. And absolutely, indefinitely, tired. But we all were. It had been almost a full sixteen hours since any of us had eaten real food. Just a few nuts and seared rat cubes. Both disgusting. By morning it would almost be a full day since a real meal. But at least we had water. Food would be the priority tomorrow.

It was no more fun than last year when I'd been forced to make the same choices and same daily routines, but at least this time I had some people to keep me company. Save the few appearances of Cato and the brief run in's with Finch, Thresh, and Rue - all of whom sent pangs through my chest _-_ my Games had been extraordinarily boring. I could only hope that these Games went the same way. I certainly wasn't a fan of mutts and I would prefer to avoid natural disasters if at all possible.

Earlier tonight I had thought that the fallen Tributes would be easy. But it turned out to be plenty hard for me as well. Seeing the faces of the eight dead Victors projected into the sky. I can't pretend I knew any of them well. But I was thinking of those three kids hanging on to Cecelia when they took her away. Seeder's kindness to me at our meeting. Even the thought of the glazed-eyed Morphling painting my cheeks with yellow flowers gave me a pang. All dead. All gone.

But they had to die. All of them had to die if it meant that Cato was going to go back to District 2 and get to live out his whole life. He needed to have a real life without me. I sat with my bow loaded, watching the jungle, which was ghostly pale and green in the moonlight. After an hour or so, the lightning stopped. I could hear the rain coming in, though, pattering on the leaves a few hundred yards away. I kept waiting for it to reach us but it never did.

About another ten minutes went by before a loud cannon went off in the distance, startling me. I looked around but no one else had woken from it. And there was no face in the sky to tell me who it had been. I relaxed back against the rock a moment later. _And then there were fifteen._ I settled back down and took a deep breath. The elusive rain stopped, leaving the air damp and hard to breathe through. It was going to be a long and nerve-wracking night.

In District 12...

It was already well after one in the morning. But no one in District 12 could find it in themselves to sleep. They couldn't sleep. Not after what they had learned during Aspen and Cato's wedding. Plutarch had warned them to always keep at least two people on alert while the Games were going on. Just like the Tributes in the arena, they had to be aware. They had to know when it was time to leave. And to the Everdeen's and Hawthorne's, that meant staying up the entire time.

After all, it hadn't seemed like the Tributes would be in the arena for that long. Plutarch, Seneca, Haymitch, and Finnick had all made it sound that way. If they were only going to be in for two or three days Gale was sure that he would be able to stay awake the entire time. He simply couldn't bring himself to fall asleep. Prim was already fast asleep on the couch. Katniss was stroking her hair but the older girl seemed ready to fall asleep at any moment. Ms. Everdeen was fast asleep in her bedroom.

Gale was the only one that was wide-awake. In the arena and outside. Other than Aspen. Gale was fidgeting nervously. Over many things. He could only imagine how she felt in there. The arena was so much different this year. It was smaller, bolder, and a lot more dangerous. The area that her group was sleeping in was dark and hidden in the thick of branches. Gale imagined that she was nervous for not being able to sleep up in a tree. He was, too, despite the fact that every other Tribute was asleep.

But it wasn't the Tributes that he was nervous about. It was the way that the arena was designed this year. It wasn't just the fact that the Tributes were all Victors that made this Quarter Quell special, it was the way that the arena was lined up this year. It was designed something like a clock. There were twelve sections and in each section the Gamemakers put something that Tributes in there would have to face. Each wedge would happen twice a day. The Gamemakers hadn't activated the wedges until midnight.

That had been the first time that he'd seen one of the wedges of arena. No one had been excited considering that no Tributes had been hiding in the twelve o'clock section. But it was a lightning storm. Something that would prove deadly if Tributes were there. The one o'clock section had just happened as well. It was a storm of blood rain. It could have been something worse, in Gale's opinion, but it had led to Blight's death when the rain had blinded him and he'd run straight into the force field.

The Gamemakers weren't telling the audiences what was going to happen in each of the twelve sections. They simply had to wait for it. Gale imagined that most people were awake, curious as to what the sections were going to bring. Right now they were creeping up on the two o'clock section. The one that Aspen and her group were hiding in. Gale felt his stomach bubble with nerves. For the briefest moment he wished that they would have been in the one o'clock section. He knew that she could live through that.

But it wasn't just the arena that he was thinking about. He was also thinking about the same thing that had been on his mind since he had been in the Capitol. The fact that District 13 was still around. He couldn't believe it. They had always been led to believe that District 13 had been destroyed during the First Rebellion. But they weren't. They were simply living underground and they had been communicating with people in the Districts for years.

As it turned out, they had been looking for a good time to come to light and reveal to the public that they were still around. They had been looking for a reason to fight against the Capitol. They just hadn't been able to find one. But now Aspen had given it to them. Not that anyone had bothered to tell her. He hated that he'd had to keep it a secret from her. He wanted so desperately to tell her the truth, but everyone convinced him that keeping her in the dark was the right thing to do.

They had tried everything to stop the Games - even lying about her pregnancy - but nothing had worked. They were in the arena until the end. Now they just had to wait until District 13 was ready to get them out. Some of the people in the arena knew about the plan. Haymitch, Enobaria, Wiress, Beetee, Finnick, Mags, the Morphlings, Blight, Johanna, Woof, Cecilia, Chaff, Seeder, and the District 10 Tributes were all part of the plan to get Aspen and Cato out of the arena.

It only left nine - two of whom were the Tributes that they were trying to rescue in the first place - that weren't in on the District 13 secret. Even Plutarch Heavensbee and Seneca Crane knew the truth. Everyone seemed to agree that Aspen and Cato not knowing was for the best. Gale didn't like it but he knew that they were right. It would be too dangerous for them to know if one of them were captured. He would merely have to wait it out and hope that Aspen forgave him when they got to District 13.

If they could even manage to get her out of there. Gale wanted to think that they would be able to but that didn't mean that he didn't have his doubts. He couldn't understand some of it. How was she going to know what was going on in the first place? She had the tracker that Seneca Crane had given her but would she really know what to do with it? She had to. She was his best friend. He was not going to lose her in that arena. Not after he had gotten her back once before.

She was going to get out and they - along with District 13 and the others - would finally get to fight back against the Capitol. After all of these years, because of his best friend, he was going to get to help in the war against the Capitol. It was just coincidence that Aspen had been the one to start it. They would get to fight. _Which is going to mean that by that time District 12 will be gone_. There was a painful twist in Gale's gut as he thought about.

He - like Katniss, Prim, and Ms. Everdeen - knew that once things were kicked into motion they would have to move quickly. They would have to get out before the Capitol retaliated on District 12. And they were going to do just that. Gale could only pray that he would be able to get people out. He knew that the Capitol would take no prisoners. When they came to District 12, they were going to leave no survivors. Hopefully people believed him and they moved fast.

"Gale," Katniss called, startling him slightly, "get some sleep. I'll take over and watch."

Katniss sat upright on the couch and Gale glanced over at her. Her eyes were foggy but they cleared out the moment that she looked over at the screen. Like before, Aspen was wide awake and staring off into the distance. She looked bored and nervous. Very nervous. She was getting suspicious. Not a good combination. He wondered how she would feel if she knew that something was going to be coming for her in just under two minutes. After a moment, Katniss finally looked back at Gale, who shook his head.

"No," Gale said.

"Gale -"

"They said that two of us should be awake anyways. You can stay up with me," Gale offered.

The room was silent for a while as the pair stared at the screen. From time to time Aspen's head would loll to the side before springing back up. Everyone could tell that she was exhausted but unable to sleep. It had to be the only reason that she hadn't gone and woken someone else up to take watch yet. As her head sprung up for the third or fourth time she glanced straight ahead, and suddenly Katniss and Gale saw it, too.

"Is that fog?" Katniss finally asked.

On the far side of the clearing that they were in a patch of fog was running through the woods. Aspen was staring straight at it and slowly rising to her feet. Gale was still staring at it. As the seconds ticked by the fog only got denser. Perhaps it really was just the fog. But that was wishful thinking. Gale knew that it had to be something potentially fatal. This was what the new section of the arena was. And it was dangerous. Of course...

"Yeah," he finally muttered, with nothing else to say.

Katniss had moved to the edge of the couch so that she could get a better look. "What are they trying to do? Blind them by it?" Katniss asked.

Gale shrugged his shoulders. He honestly couldn't figure it out. "Maybe release a mutt so that they can't see when they try to fight it," he suggested.

Considering Aspen's past luck with mutts, Gale had a feeling that they would eventually send one of them after her. He was hoping that they would be able to put it off for a little while longer. They were going to attack them with something dangerous. Gale knew it. At least with the others around maybe it would be easier for her to fight them off. Behind them, Prim spoke up, startling both teenagers. They had thought that she was still asleep.

"I don't think that it's any of those things. Look down there," Prim said.

She was glancing down at the bottom of the screen and Katniss and Gale followed her gaze. Gale nearly felt his heart stop. Katniss felt the same. He had almost forgotten that they did tell the audience what the new sector was each time that the hour rolled around. There was a small ribbon across from the bottom on the screen that read ' _Poison Fog'._

"No," Katniss breathed out slowly.

Aspen stood and walked over to it. "Get away from it," Gale warned under his breath.

"She's reaching out to touch it," Katniss said, panicking.

Aspen was only a few inches from the fog. Katniss and Prim pressed against Gale. He could feel the bile rising in his own mouth. "She'll figure it out. She'll be fine. She has to be," Gale said softly. She was going to make it. She had to.

In the Arena...

For a while I'd kept my gaze up towards the sky to see if I could find any signal of who the last cannon had been for. But I knew that it was futile. So I leaned back against the rock again and took in a deep breath. It was only about ten more minutes before I glanced up and spotted it. Heading straight for myself and my alliance was a thick, white, fog. It was slowly seeping into the section of the clearing that we were in and I stared at it for a moment. Finally I rose to my feet.

The fog was slowly advancing on us and I stared at it curiously. It had been raining about an hour ago or so. Not right over us, but very close. The rain hadn't been enough to completely blind anyone or wake up my companions but it was enough for the steam to soak me to the bone and make the humidity in the arena rise to an almost unbearable rate. So I stared at the fog and shook my head. There was nothing wrong with it. It was just coming up from the rain.

But the longer that I looked at it the more that I realized that this probably wasn't normal fog. Or steam. Steam was never that thick. Or that strange of a color. This was more, I realized as I looked at it longer, grey. Steam and fog was more of a white. And the way that it came in; even waves that never differed. It was coming too fast and too perfect. It didn't make sense. And as I continued looking at it I realized that there was also a smell that came with it.

The smell was somewhere in between sweet and bitter. Turning back I went to wake up my alliance members. I raised my hand to bat the fog away, but before I could I felt the searing pain. It was worse than anything that I'd ever felt before. I glanced down and saw that my skin was covered in boils on my hand and the skin was peeling off in other places, only leaving the raw red skin underneath. Soon that was covered in boils as well. _Poison. Those fuckers made the fog poison._

And it was killing me. A small scream came out of my mouth as I turned to run. The fog hit my back and the excruciating pain dug its way through my spine _._ "Run! Run! The fog is poison!" I shouted at my alliance.

The fog was still advancing. It would cover us in a matter of seconds. Thankfully they were all awake within seconds and staring at me in horror. Being in the Games before and being Mentors for years had taught them that when someone in an alliance shouted at you to get up, it meant now. My alliance members caught sight of the fog before scrambling to their feet and running off. Enobaria and Haymitch were first. Cato stared at me before running over.

"Aspen!" Cato shouted.

"Don't, don't, just run!" I shouted back.

But, of course, he ignored my requests. I wanted him away from the fog. But he didn't care. He wanted to help me out. Cato ran up to me and grabbed my hand, howling in pain as the fog hit his arm. He grabbed my arm and dragged me away, fighting to push past the pain of the fog. Over to the side of us I saw that Finnick was grabbing Mags under the arms and lifting her to her feet. We had to move, and we had to move fast. The fog was advancing almost faster than we could run.

"Come on, come on, come on," Finnick said as he lifted Mags onto his back.

My hands were shaking slightly as Cato grabbed my hand and dragged me with him. I eventually whimpered and shoved him off. He was only making the blistering on my hands worse. We could get away if we kept moving. We jumped around the large tree that we were sleeping by and headed down to the beach. To the right I heard a sharp scream. Enobaria had dropped onto her knees as the fog twisted over her leg. She was trying to move but the fog continued to advance. It was covering her torso now.

"Enobaria!" I shouted, shoving away from Cato and grabbing her.

"Aspen!" Cato yelled.

The fog hit my arm and immediately it was covered in boils. I screamed in agony as chunks of skin fell away. "Go! I got her!" I shouted at Cato and Haymitch. "Come on! Come on!"

"Faster," Enobaria hissed as I dragged her away.

"Damn it!" Haymitch's familiar growl came from my other side.

The side of his face was covered in boils as he staggered around. A moment later the fog hit his arm. His screams filled the clearing. I glanced over and saw that a boil was covering his left eye. He couldn't see. I didn't want anyone to die like this. Especially not Haymitch. Thankfully Cato dashed over and caught him, dragging him away from the fog. It settled over his back for a moment and I heard Cato's pained scream. My own scream mixed in with his as the fog hit me over the back of my neck.

"Keep going!" Cato yelled, dragging Haymitch away.

With that we all darted from the clearing as quickly as we could. Not that it was doing much. The fog was faster than we were. The large group began running past a tree with vines hanging down from every inch. More than once I felt myself get tangled up in the roots. Each time I did I was hit by the fog again. We all were. Everyone had boils and blisters appearing on their bodies. Finnick was the only one that was ahead of us, probably determined to get Mags to safety.

My heart was pounding in my chest as I sprinted off. I could tell that however much he denied it during the day, the aftereffects of hitting the force field have been significant for Cato. He was slow, much slower than usual. He was normally almost as fast as me. And the tangle of vines and undergrowth, which unbalanced me occasionally, tripped him at every step. I look back at the wall of fog extending in a straight line as far as I could see in either direction.

A terrible impulse to flee, to abandon Cato and save myself, shot through me. It would be so simple, to run full out, perhaps to even climb a tree above the fog line, which seemed to top out at about forty feet. I did it when the muttations appeared in the last Games. Took off and only thought of Cato once I got away from the lion mutt. But this time, I trapped my terror, pushed it down, and stayed by him. Because he wouldn't have dared leave. This time my survival wasn't the goal. Cato's was. I thought of the eyes glued to the television screens in the Districts, seeing if I would run, as the Capitol wished, or hold my ground.

But I forced myself to stay with Cato. We seemed to move a little faster as time went by, but never enough to afford a rest, and the mist continued to lap at our heels. Droplets sprang free of the body of vapor. They burned, but not like fire. Less a sense of heat and more of an intense pain as the chemicals found our flesh, clung to it, and burrowed down through the layers of skin. Our jumpsuits were no help at all. We may as well be dressed in tissue paper, for all the protection they gave.

This whole thing was useless. We just had to keep sprinting until we could find some relative safety. They couldn't just send the fog through the entire arena. Finnick, who bounded off initially, stopped when he realized that Cato, Enobaria, Haymitch, and I were having problems. But this was not a thing that you could fight, only evade. He shouted encouragement, trying to move us along, and the sound of his voice acted as a guide, though little more.

About a minute after we'd started running we were back on flat ground. Our group all sprinted as fast as we could through the leaves and shrubbery but it wasn't easy. Enobaria was barely able to stand, and having to carry half of her weight was certainly slowing me down. Haymitch seemed better able to run but he still couldn't really see. Cato was now mostly guiding him. Finnick was slowing drastically, I knew that it was because he was getting tired with Mags. But he wouldn't drop her.

My bow in hand, I fell into line behind Cato and Haymitch. Having gotten some distance from the fog we had all slowed slightly and let go of our partners. With the exception of Finnick and Mags. I was right behind Cato, who was cutting through the vines with his sword. His leg was giving funny spasms as we ran. I turned back long enough to see that we had made some good distance on the fog and laughed hysterically.

But my relief was short-lived. Right in front of us, off to the right, another wall of fog began to cut us off. It stopped everyone dead in their tracks. We couldn't keep going straight. The fog was now trying to lead us somewhere. I turned to the left quickly and felt a sharp pain spike through my legs. I grimaced when I realized that the fog had now torn through my costume. My bloody legs were dripping onto the jungle floor. Flesh was mixed in.

As we ran around tight corners and long pathways it seemed like the fog had managed to speed up. Probably a nice little gift from the Gamemakers. For the Interviews and private training sessions. We had gotten desperate now, sprinting as fast as humanly possible. The fog was closing in on all sides and I let out a sobbing breath. There was nowhere to run and nowhere to hide. We were going to get to the end of the arena before the fog stopped.

The fog finally caught up with us as it snarled around our shins. Screams echoed from each one of us, every scream louder than the last. Mags was the only one that wasn't screaming - she was too high up on Finnick's back to be party to the fog. The trees began to get denser and I fought to get through them. Enobaria was right on my tail and I could feel her staggering behind me. I shouted back at her to keep up when I felt her fall behind slightly.

Unfortunately I hadn't thought my plan to tell her to keep up all the way through. She fell over a root that I had just barely missed. As she fell she caught me and I went sprawling to the ground a moment later. The two of us attempted to scramble back up but we were useless. The fog hit us from behind and I let out a piercing scream as it wound up my leg. It made it all the way up my back and my face, melting some of the flesh off as it went. Enobaria was in a similar state.

Thankfully Cato saw the danger and caught the two of us to pull us up with him. Unfortunately it hadn't done much for him. The fog spread over his face and I watched as boils erupted. We grabbed onto the two of each other as Enobaria ran ahead. Cato was barely able to keep me upright. Finnick was thankfully ahead of us with Mags. Haymitch wasn't far behind but I saw that he was staggering around, too, probably having a hard time staying upright. After only a minute I hit the ground again.

"Get up. Come on! Aspen!" Cato howled.

"I can't," I begged.

"Get up!"

He grabbed me and literally tossed me back onto my feet. I staggered weakly ahead a few steps before turning back to him. The fog was slowly gaining on him. He would get burned. "Cato, move!" I shouted.

But I hadn't yelled in time. The fog hit him in the leg and Cato collapsed. His entire body was erupting in spasms. My heart thumped painfully in my chest. He couldn't die. This was all for him. Enobaria - who had weakened drastically over the past minute - was dragged away by Haymitch. I ran over to Cato and grabbed him under the arms, the fog melting over my hands again. It was going to peel off my skin. Payback for the boy from District 9 last year maybe.

"Come on, help me, please. Stand up!" I shouted at Cato.

Both of us could see that he couldn't. The fog but it was still advancing. We had thirty seconds. "I - I can't," Cato breathed weakly.

His leg made a strange spasm. It was the same spasm that had occurred in my legs earlier. "Please. Please get up," I begged.

"Keep going. Get away from here," Cato prodded.

"No. Get up! Now!"

I glanced down at Cato's leg to see what the problem was. The fog had almost completely dissolved the top layer of tissue. My hand raised to my mouth as I stared down at him. There was no way that we were getting him to stand. At least not on his own. He howled in pain and I watched in utter horror as the tendon and muscle continued to die in his leg. He wasn't going to be able to stand on that. My breath came in short gasps as I grabbed him under the arms.

As I helped Cato up, begging him to keep moving and get him out of this part of the arena, I became very aware of something even scarier than the blisters, more debilitating than the burns. The left side of his face had sagged, as if every muscle in it had died. No, no, no. The lid of his eye was drooping, almost concealing it. His mouth twisted in an odd angle toward the ground. It was like he'd had a stroke. And that was when I felt the spasms run up my arm.

Whatever chemical laced the fog did more than burn - it targeted our nerves. We would be unable to move soon enough. A whole new kind of fear shot through me and I yanked Cato forward, which only caused him to stumble again. By the time I got him to his feet, both of my arms were twitching uncontrollably. The fog had moved in on us, the body of it less than a yard away. Something was wrong with Cato's legs; he was trying to walk but they moved in a spastic, puppet-like fashion.

"Shit. Don't worry. We're getting out of here," I said weakly.

But was it the truth? I could die here. I wouldn't mind. Dying here wouldn't be that bad. I just had to make sure that Cato got out of here. He had to be alive. He couldn't die. The Gamemakers clearly wanted us gone. And they were well on their way. None of us might survive this attack. Despite giving all of my effort, my legs were burned just as badly as Cato's and I wasn't strong enough. Off to the side I saw that Finnick had been hit by the fog. He collapsed to the ground and Mags went flying off of him.

"God! God! Mags, please, please! Come on! Come on!" Finnick cried.

Thankfully he was able to get her back on him almost immediately. I caught Cato and dragged him a few more steps before he once more fell. Boils and blisters were stretching over his face and I stared in horror. Were they seeping into his brain and killing him? I couldn't think about that right now. We could deal with the damage later. Right now we just needed to get out of here. We were too close to the incoming fog.

"Cato. Keep going! Get out of here!" I shouted at Haymitch and Enobaria.

Both of whom had stopped for us. They nodded and darted off through the trees. They seemed to be having trouble running, too. _Two less to worry about._ Once more I tried to grab Cato but the two of us fell after only one more step. He was simply too heavy and couldn't carry himself right now. Thankfully Finnick spotted the trouble. He ran over and dropped Mags, leaning over Cato's other side. I had to be desperate for a moment.

"I can't carry him," I cried to Finnick weakly. He was staring at me sadly as Mags laid a hand on Finnick's shoulder. "Cato, please. Cato, please, stand up."

"Can you carry Mags?" Finnick asked.

"Yes," I said.

My answer was stout although my heart sank. It was true that Mags couldn't weigh more than about seventy pounds, but I wasn't very big myself. Still, I was sure that I had carried heavier loads. If only my arms would stop jumping around. I squatted down and she positioned herself over my shoulder, the way she rode on Finnick. I slowly straightened my legs and, with my knees locked, I could manage her. Finnick had Cato slung across his back now and we moved forward, Finnick leading, me following in the trail he broke through the vines.

On the fog continued to come, silent and steady and flat, except for the grasping tendrils. Although my instinct was to run directly away from it, I realized that Finnick was moving at a diagonal down the hill. He was trying to keep a distance from the gas while steering us toward the water that surrounded the Cornucopia. _Yes, water_. The acid droplets slowly bored deeper into me. Now I was so thankful that I didn't kill Finnick, because how would I have gotten Cato out of here alive? So thankful to have someone else on my side, even if it was only temporarily.

It wasn't Mags's fault when I began falling. She was doing everything that she could to be an easy passenger, but the fact was, there was only so much weight that I could handle. Especially now that my right leg seemed to be going stiff. The first two times I crashed to the ground, I managed to make it back on my feet, but the third time, I couldn't get my leg to cooperate. As I struggled to get up, it gave out and Mags rolled off onto the ground before me. I flailed around, trying to use vines and trunks to right myself.

Finnick was back by my side, Cato hanging over him. "It's no use. Can you take them both? Go on ahead, I'll catch up," I said.

It was a somewhat doubtful proposal, but I said it with as much surety as I can muster. Finnick's eyes were shiny with tears. "No. I can't carry them both. My arms aren't working," Finnick said. It was true. His arms jerked uncontrollably at his sides. His hands were empty. Of his three tridents, only one remained, and it was in Cato's hands. "I'm sorry, Mags. I can't do it."

Out of the corner of my eye I saw that Mags gave Finnick a kiss on the lips but I looked away. "We have to go," I told Cato.

Now Mags was finally walking away from us. Right towards the fog. Was she going to kill herself so that Finnick could help me with Cato? "Mags?" Finnick called out.

"Mags, wait! There has to be another way!" I shouted.

It didn't stop her. She continued to walk. "Mags? Mags!" Finnick screamed when he realized her plan.

He tried to stand and run after her but I managed to catch him around the arm. She was already just in front of the fog. If he went for her, he would die, too. "Finnick," I called out.

He had turned hysterical. "Mags!" Finnick yelled, fighting against me.

"Finnick."

"Mags!"

"Finnick!" I shouted, desperate to snap him out of it.

We watched as Mags walked into the fog completely. Her body gave a painful looking spasm, she let out a sharp scream, and dropped to the ground. Her body was seized by wild contortions as she fell in a horrible dance. I wanted to scream, but my throat was on fire. I took one futile step in her direction when I heard the cannon blast, knew her heart had stopped, that she was dead. A moment later the fog had covered her body. I grabbed onto Finnick's arm and yanked him to me.

"Finnick, we have to go. We have to get outta here. We have to go. We can't die, too. For her. Keep moving," I said softly.

Mags had not given her life for nothing. We were going to get out of here. After a moment Finnick nodded at me, tears built up in his eyes, and he helped me grab Cato under the arms. "All right, come on, come on. Come on. Okay," Finnick said, lifting Cato up.

He seemed to be having trouble breathing. As much as I wanted to stop and see if he was alright I knew that we couldn't. We had to keep moving. So we continued running at somewhat of an awkward limp. The height difference between the three of us was startling with Cato in the middle. Thankfully Finnick was taking the brunt end of his weight. As we ran I saw the fog approach us from the sides - I already knew that it was right behind us. There was literally nowhere to go but forward.

The only consolation that I had was that I hadn't heard another cannon for Haymitch or Enobaria. The fog slithered up behind us and the next moment it was searing into our backs. "Shit!" I howled, as the fabric of the uniform melted, mixing in with the burned skin.

The three of us fell forwards to the ground and I groaned. We wouldn't be able to get up in time. Or, at least, that's what I thought. The ground never came. Instead, the three of us went careening down a steep hill. What good timing. At least we were getting away from the fog. That didn't stop the pain. As we hit each rock and branch I cried out slightly louder. My bones were cracking as we hit the surface and the ground was scraping off more skin. Some of the boils were bursting too.

Finally we stopped and slid onto flat ground once more. I groaned softly as I rolled over. My head was killing me now too. I was sure that I had whacked it on a rock on the way down. Probably more than one. My entire body was giving out in weak spasms as I attempted to scramble to my feet once more. But I couldn't move. Everything on me was locking up. Nothing was working. My muscles wouldn't move and my brain seemed to be failing.

Time and space lost all meaning as the fog seemed to invade my brain, muddling my thoughts, making everything unreal. Some deep-rooted animal desire for survival kept me desperately trying to get to my feet, although I was probably dead already. Parts of me were dead, or clearly dying. And Mags was dead. That was something that I knew, or maybe just thought that I knew, because it made no sense at all. But I still knew enough to know the new kind of fear. The fog was indeed a paralytic.

"Ah!" I screamed as dirt pressed into an open wound on my leg. "It's - it's not just poison. It's a paralytic. Run! We won't be able to move much longer!"

It did nothing. They were both pressed on their fronts in the dirt. Finnick was face-down but I hadn't heard a cannon yet. He was still alive. I could see his chest moving shallowly. Cato was similar. I could see the boils running all up and down his face. His right thigh seemed to be half eaten-away. I rolled onto my back to attempt to stand. Immediately I wished that I hadn't. As my seizures continued I spotted he fog slipping down the hill after us.

 _Oh my God._ I turned over in an attempt to shake Cato awake. I couldn't manage to move my arms. But my mouth was still working. "We - we need to move! It's right there!" I shouted.

It made no difference. They couldn't hear me. And even if they could it appeared that they could no longer move. I was sure that Cato wasn't ever going to be able to move again. If we somehow survived this I knew that he would need some serious medicine for his leg. He would lose it if we did nothing. I watched as the fog came closer and closer - all while desperately trying to stand - but I made no progress. So I let a few tears out and stared at it. This was the end.

But just as the fog came to where my feet were it hit a barrier. Something like a force field. I watched in shock and awe and something akin to gratitude as the fog rose up high into the air. The fog was thick against the invisible glass. Not that it could be glass as I'd just fallen through it. I couldn't see into the jungle. It continued to beat against the wall - which I was sure would drop at any moment to be a cruel joke - before the fog retreated. The fog continued to fade away until it had finally disappeared.

Laughing softly to myself, I rolled back onto my back. We were alive... We were actually alive. As I glanced upwards at the tree I was sure that I saw a monkey. But I didn't care. I couldn't bring myself to care. Between the pain and the knowledge that we had somehow lived through the poison fog, a damn monkey was the least of my worries. And maybe I was seeing things. But now that we had managed to live through it, came the problem of treating it.

Weakly I managed to move just enough so that I was facing away from the area that the poison fog had just been at. No way was I going back over there. As I moved - only able to by digging my arms into the grass - I saw that Haymitch and Enobaria were in a pond not far from where I had landed. They had stripped off their uniforms - leaving them in their undergarments - and were washing each other off. It made sense. My uniform was melted to the point where it was almost useless.

Slowly I let out a weak groan. Talking hurt now. It felt like my face might melt off at any given moment. All I wanted to do was peel my skin off. Haymitch glanced up and stared straight at me. "You made it. Get in here!" Haymitch shouted.

He turned and ran towards me, grabbing me under the arms. He was able to drag me into the water, myself assisting some, although it wasn't easy because I could barely move, before letting me drop carefully into the water. Water looked perfect. Anything to try and help the pain just a little bit. At first I wanted to kill Haymitch for even suggesting that we go into the water. Sharp screams erupted from my mouth. My entire body felt like it had just been dropped into one of the Capitol fryers.

My skin was bubbling as the pustules exploded and the broken skin began to melt away. As I laid in the water, I looked up and spotted a pair of what I guessed were monkeys. I had never seen a live monkey - there was nothing like that in our woods at home. But I must have seen a picture, or one in the Games, because when I saw the creatures, the same word came to my mind. I thought that these had orange fur, although it was hard to tell, and they were about half the size of a full-grown human. I took the monkeys for a good sign.

Surely they would not hang around if the air was deadly. For a while, we quietly observed one another, humans and monkeys. If they weren't going to react, I wasn't going to worry about them. Then Cato struggled to his knees and crawled down the slope. I would help him soon. He crawled, since walking now seemed as remarkable a feat as flying; they crawled until the vines turn to a narrow strip of sandy beach and the warm water continued to lap at my face. I jerked back as if I had touched an open flame.

Rubbing salt in a wound. For the first time I truly appreciated the expression, because the salt in the water made the pain of my wounds so blinding that I nearly blacked out. But there was another sensation, of drawing out. I experimented by gingerly placing my hand in the water. Torturous, yes, but then less so. And through the blue layer of water, I saw a milky substance leaching out of the wounds on my skin. The poison, probably.

As the whiteness diminished, so did the pain. I unbuckled my belt and stripped off my jumpsuit, which was little more than a perforated rag. My shoes and undergarments were inexplicably unaffected. Little by little, one small portion of a limb at a time, I soaked the poison out of my wounds. Haymitch and Enobaria were doing the same. But Finnick backed away from the water at first touch and laid facedown on the sand, either unwilling or unable to purge himself.

The boils were fading away, too. But the melted skin - other than having a much lighter burn - wasn't getting any help. We would need some form of medicine for it. "The water! The water helps," I called to Finnick and Cato.

Cato began to crawl over but Finnick was still motionless. He must have been burned a lot worse than any of the rest of us. It was terrible, but he needed to do it. He would die without it. Haymitch and Enobaria walked over to get them into the water. Finnick was being problematic, as he could barely move and was far too heavy for just one of us to take, so we got to Cato first.

"Hurts like a bitch but it works," Haymitch assured Cato.

Haymitch and I slunk back into the water first. I cringed and moaned softly as more of the boils healed. He motioned for me to snort the water, drink it, and wash my eyes in it. It hurt but helped. We then grabbed Cato by the shoulders and pulled him in. He let out a scream that was unlike anything I'd ever heard from him before. He was always so strong. I'd never seen him in this much pain before. I wished more than anything that we could be quiet.

We had to be drawing people in with all of the noise that we were making. Or maybe they would be too afraid of what was happening with us. But I knew that it wasn't the time to ask that of them after what we had just gone through. Finnick especially. And speaking of, he was still laying on the ground. As I leaned over Cato's lap and gently poured some of the water on his face, himself crying out, Haymitch walked over to me.

"Where's Mags?" Haymitch asked softly.

He must have heard the cannon. "She walked into the fog so that we could both get Cato out of there. We owe her our lives," I said, even softer.

Haymitch nodded. He had once told me that she was a nice lady after I had said that she wouldn't make it. I'd never felt so cruel. She was dead and she had sacrificed herself so that Cato would live. Once Cato was able to at least stand I grabbed him and the two of us helped drag Finnick into the water. He moaned for us to drop him but we ignored the pleas, sinking him into the water.

Besides Cato's leg, Finnick had been burned the worst by the fog. So his screams were ear-shattering as Haymitch, Enobaria, Cato, and myself held him down. We had to be careful with his face so that we didn't send him into any type of shock from the pain. He had been badly hit when he'd dropped Mags and when the two of us had been carrying Cato. I was worried about his leg but I knew that this was the wrong time. We would worry about Finnick first. Once he was responsive we could turn to Cato.

Once Finnick had stopped screaming and resorted to a mere whimpering I turned back to Cato. He was barely able to walk. "We need our weapons," I said.

"I'll be back," Cato said.

They had all been dropped back over by the drop-off. I hadn't been thinking to hold the weapons the moment that I had realized that we had somewhere that we could heal up. Now we needed to be back on guard, no matter how much pain we were in. Cato was back in an instant. He laid down Finnick's trident at the edge of the water and handed back my bow as he tightened his grip on his sword.

"Here you go," Cato said.

"Thanks." I glanced down at myself and sighed. There went my uniform. "You guys alright?" I asked, turning back to Haymitch and Enobaria.

They were clearly debating on what to do with the jumpsuits. It felt stupid to wear it. "Yeah. Where did the fog end?" Haymitch asked.

"Back there. Just at the end of the ridge. The fog stopped. It seemed to hit an invisible wall or something. It just stopped coming towards us," I said.

If there was anything else in the area I didn't want to draw it to us. We were all too tired for another fight or run. "Like a force field?" Enobaria asked.

"Yeah. But not really. We were able to run - well fall, I guess - through it. Nothing happened to us when we went through it," I explained.

"Be grateful for it," Haymitch said.

"Trust me, I am," I said weakly.

"They could have continued sending that fog after us. We'll figure it out later. For now we take it easy. Maybe get some water back in us or something. I guarantee all of that running wasn't good for you," Haymitch said.

He was glancing back at the lake behind us and I shook my head. "I wouldn't risk drinking that water from the lake. It's got some of the poison from the fog in it, and if it was strong enough to cure it, I'm not sure that I'd want to drink it," I reasoned.

I'd made sure that when I'd been rinsing out my throat I'd spat the water back up. "She's right. We should get that spile out and find a tree that looks like it might work," Haymitch said.

Everyone began to move away. "Take a break for a few minutes," Enobaria chirped.

For a moment I stood and watched the others. Finnick was still sitting in the lake and slowly treating the boils that were on his face. I noticed that he looked extremely pained. Enobaria was attempting to do something with her suit. Probably trying to stitch it back together. Haymitch motioned for me to toss him the spile and I did, watching as he attempted to tap a tree. Cato was leaned up against a tree. He was trying to walk on his leg normally again. I walked over to him and laid a hand on his shoulder.

"Hey, you alright?" I asked.

"I'll live," he said.

His leg was quivering slightly. I grabbed him and pulled him to me. "Let's get you back in the water. See what we can do about that leg," I offered.

"It's fine. What about you? Got hit pretty hard back there," Cato said.

I rolled my eyes at him. "Not as hard as you. Can I see the leg?" I asked.

He shifted for a moment before sticking his leg out for me to see. The suit was completely torn over his thigh. I could see the highly damaged muscle and tissue underneath. It was nearly down to the bone in the middle. The fog had seriously gotten to him. I was already surprised that he was even able to stand. Maybe the paralytic wasn't as long lasting as I thought that it was. It made sense. Just enough to keep us still so that the fog would kill us. But his leg was going to be a problem. He was lucky that he could stand. My throat went dry as I gently prodded at it.

He was going to lose the leg if we did nothing about it. But I didn't say that. "We need to get some medicine for the leg. I don't think that the water is gonna be enough," I said lightly.

He didn't need to worry about the leg for right now. "It's fine, Aspen. I can walk on it," Cato said.

"Really? Let go of that tree," I said.

"It's fine. Doesn't really hurt that bad either. That's all that matters," Cato said.

No way. His leg was killing him. I was no fool. Hopefully medicine was already on its way. "They never would have done this in a normal Games," I muttered angrily.

"Of course not. But this is a Quarter Quell and we're Victors," Cato wouldn't do this to some untrained kids. It would kill them in a minute. "I know," I muttered. "Damn, it hurts.""We'll get medicine. They can do things like poison fog this year. We've all been through this before."

"Not to this point," I said softly, motioning around us.

In just a few hours the arena was already harder this year than it was all of last year. "No. Wanna know one thing that's better about this year?" Cato asked.

A small grin spread over his face. We never got to have fun. So I'd use this moment while I had the chance. "Not having Glimmer hang off of your arm?" I asked, with a teasing grin.

Cato and I both laughed softly. Off to the side I even heard Enobaria snicker. I had a feeling that she had met Glimmer and had never been a fan. I couldn't blame her. The girl had been a major pain in the ass. I wondered if Gloss and Cashmere would have laughed if they had heard. Weakly I tried to push down the guilt for laughing at someone that was dead. A fault of mine. Just because they had scared and cornered me.

"Well I suppose there is that. She was a little annoying," Cato said, chuckling.

"A little?"

"Hush. At least this time I can stay around you. It was always so hard last year, having to walk away from you without knowing if I'd see you again," Cato said.

A twinge of guilt shot through my stomach. _You're so heartless. It's a good thing that it's him that's going to live this year. You wouldn't deserve it. He's better than you._ "Hey, you're not walking away from me this year. You're not. And I'm not," I said, grabbing his face gently. "I love you."

"I love you, too," Cato said.

Was I really that heartless? All of the times that he had walked away from me, I had wanted him to leave so that I was able to kill him. But it turned out that he had been having a problem walking away from me. Cato leaned into me so that I was pressed back against the tree gently. We stayed locked together in a kiss for a moment before I heard the soft beep of a Sponsor package. I leaned back from him and grinned. It was right behind us.

"You definitely just did that for the Sponsor package," Cato teased.

I nodded and shoved him back from me. "Absolutely. Why else would I want to kiss you?" I asked haughtily.

He laughed and leaned down to the package as I giggled. Unfortunately it wasn't medicine. That was something that we would likely have to wait a little bit on. It was some food, though. The food looked to be a warm soup and I smiled, nodding to Cato that he could have it. The package was for him anyways. It was from Brutus. I would go hunting for us later. Right now he was the one that needed the food. Finnick would refuse it. Haymitch and Enobaria hadn't been so badly hurt. The two of us read over the note.

 _No medicine yet, but I'm working on it. Stay strong -B_

"Thanks, Brutus," I called.

We sat together for a long time. I was antsy about Gloss and Cashmere having heard us so we sank Finnick a little further under the water. Just in case, as we worked at him. Helping clear him of all of the pain that he was in. The sun was still down as it was the middle of the night but the moon was lighting up the arena, making it easy enough for everyone to see us if they got too close. And there were still a lot of people around, including Johanna, who would have loved seeing me in this much pain.

Also I wanted to know why Finnick had saved Cato and me. Was it because we were better allies? I wanted to ask but the haggard look on his face told me not to. Instead I tried to put myself back together. I rescued my Mockingjay pin from my ruined jumpsuit and pinned it to the strap of my undershirt. The flotation belt must be acid resistant, since it looked as good as new. I could swim, so the flotation belt wasn't really necessary, but Gloss blocked my arrow with his, so I buckled it back on, thinking that it might offer some protection.

Chances were that we would need more protection from something or another later. I undid the braid in my hair and combed it with my fingers, thinning it out considerably since the fog droplets damaged it. The fog hadn't completely destroyed my hair but I knew that it had made it very weak. I would have to be careful with it. Not that it mattered. I would be dead soon anyways. Maybe to look nice at my funeral. Then I braided back what was left of it.

In the meantime, Cato was trying to find another tree to tap. It turned out that he had found a good tree about ten yards from the narrow strip of beach. We could hardly see him, but the sound of his sword against the wooden trunk was crystal clear. I wondered what happened to the awl. Mags must have either dropped it or taken it into the fog with her. Anyway, it was gone.

After a while I moved out a bit farther into the shallows, floating alternately on my belly and back. If the seawater healed Cato and me, it seemed to be transforming Finnick altogether. He began to move slowly, just testing his limbs, and gradually began to swim. But it wasn't like me swimming, the rhythmic strokes, the even pace. It was like watching some strange sea animal coming back to life. He dove and surfaced, spraying water out of his mouth, rolled over and over in some bizarre corkscrew motion that made me dizzy even to watch. And then, when he had been underwater so long I felt certain that he had drowned, his head popped up right next to me and I started.

"Don't do that," I demanded.

"What? Come up or stay under?" Finnick asked.

"Either. Neither. Whatever. Just soak in the water and behave. Or if you feel this good, let's go help Cato," I said. Finnick grinned at me. I gently laid a hand on top of his. "I'm sorry about Mags."

"She was never gonna make it," Finnick said softly.

I brought him into a hug and felt him look away from me. "I'm sorry, Finnick," I said.

"So..." he started before trailing off.

Finnick was staring directly behind me. In just the short time it took to cross to the edge of the jungle, I became aware of the change. Put it down to years of hunting, or maybe my reconstructed ear did work a little better than anyone intended. But I sensed the mass of warm bodies poised above us. They didn't need to chatter or scream. The mere breathing of so many was enough. I touched Finnick's arm and he followed my gaze upward. I didn't know how they arrived so silently. Perhaps they didn't. We had all been absorbed in restoring our bodies. During that time they had assembled.

"What?" Finnick asked no one in particular breathlessly.

Two were sitting on the branches right behind us. My heart was hammering in my chest. Finnick said nothing else. We didn't want to alert anything. He merely motioned - very slowly - for me to turn around. He was right. There were more slowly gathering. So I very slowly turned - similar to the way that I had when the wolf mutt had been behind me - and glanced around. It was the monkey that I had sworn that I'd seen before. But it was no longer up in the trees. It was down on the ground now.

The main problem was that there was no longer just one of them. Not even just the two that I had seen a second ago. It looked like there were hundreds of them. Some were down on the ground, some were up in the trees, others were hanging off of branches, and even more were standing around the clearing. They were almost providing a barricade so that we couldn't get out. Not without getting past them. And now they were slowly closing in on us.

For a moment I thought about pulling an arrow. But was it the right thing to do? Could we fight this many? There weren't just five or ten but scores of monkeys were weighing down the limbs of the jungle trees. The pair we spotted when we first escaped the fog felt like a welcoming committee. This crew felt ominous. I armed my bow with two arrows, just in case, and Finnick adjusted the trident in his hand. A sharp scratch came from behind me and I turned back to see one that had advanced on me slightly.

Finnick started to push me back gently. The claws on the damn things were huge. They reminded me very much of the mutt from last year. They would kill us if we weren't careful. Enobaria had her hand on her sword and seemed about ready to draw it. Haymitch was backing off from the monkeys, heading towards the beach. He wouldn't get far. The monkeys were blocking it. Cato was still leaning up against the tree. He had yet to see them.

"Cato," I called out softly. Some of the monkeys turned their gaze on me.

I found myself getting nervous as one of the monkeys sauntered towards Cato's head. "Yeah?" Cato questioned.

This was why Careers died in past years. They never looked around themselves. They were always so entranced with whatever they were doing. "I need your help with something," I said.

"Okay, just a minute. I think I've just about got it," Cato said, still occupied with the tree. "Yes, there. Have you got the spile?"

"I do. But we've found something you'd better take a look at," I continued in a measured voice. "Only move toward us quietly, so you don't startle it. Trust me. Walk over here slowly."

The tone of my request was so odd that Cato immediately picked up on some irregularity. "Okay," he said calmly.

For some reason, I didn't want him to notice the monkeys, or even glance their way. There were creatures that interpreted mere eye contact as aggression. The panic was thinly veiled in my voice. Cato finally looked up to see what I was talking about and was met face-to-face with one of the monkeys. Thankfully he didn't scream. The monkey howled loudly and I watched as Cato jumped back a step. He was smart enough to not turn and run. Instead he slowly backed away, never looking away from the monkeys.

He began to move through the jungle, and although I knew that he was trying hard to be quiet, that had never been his strong suit, even when he had two sound legs. He was good for an average person, but he didn't have the silent walk of a hunter like I did. But it was all right, he was moving, and the monkeys were holding their positions. He was just five yards from the beach when he looked up. His eyes only darted up for a second, but it was as if he had triggered a bomb. The monkeys exploded into a shrieking mass of orange fur and converged on him.

The five of us were being slowly corralled back into the pond and I grimaced. These monkeys were being controlled by the Capitol. And the Capitol knew one of the many things that I was sensitive to. Drowning. After my fight with the male from District 9 last year I had almost figured that they were going to try and drown me at some point this year. And they were. Just with the monkeys this time. They continued to advance, now hooting and howling even louder.

Even with the mutts from last year, I had never seen any animal move so fast. They slid down the vines as if the things were greased. Leaped impossible distances from tree to tree. Fangs bared, hackles raised, claws shooting out like switchblades. I might have been unfamiliar with monkeys, but animals in nature didn't act like that. They weren't running after us just yet, but I knew that they would be in a matter of seconds. And we wouldn't be able to outrun them.

"Mutts," I spat out desperately.

"What do we do?" Enobaria asked softly.

There were too many for us to take on in a fight. We would have to slowly try and make our way out of the area. "No sudden movements. Take it slow," I said softly.

Perhaps the monkeys had understood my order because they began snarling and hopping at us. "Can we risk it?" Finnick muttered.

"We have to try. They aren't moving yet," I said.

They were waiting for a reason. "I don't think that we're gonna have time to take it slow," Haymitch said.

It was the only way that we were getting out of here in one piece. "Get to the beach," I ordered softly.

I wasn't sure if the monkeys could swim but it was a thought. "One slow step at a time. Form a circle," Cato ordered.

That was exactly what we did. I glanced over and saw that Enobaria was about ready to rip her sword out. "No, no! Don't draw your weapon!" I called out.

"Hell, no!" Enobaria shouted back.

She drew out her sword and the monkeys immediately began howling. They clearly took it as a sign to attack. They began to rear up and charge at us. As one leaped at me I realized that they were rather large. They were half of my size. As the monkeys continued to advance, bearing their fangs, I knew that it was too late to avoid a fight. So I slung off my bow and nocked an arrow. One of the monkeys took no time to jump after me. It knocked the bow out of my hands and I tumbled back into the water.

The damned things were heavy. It swiped out at me but I was faster. Grabbing a knife that was in the pack on my waist I jammed it into the eye of the mutt. It fell to the ground in a howling mess but I took no time to finish it off. It was out for the count. As I grabbed my bow back and shot down two more I couldn't hope but to wish that someone had bet a lot of money for that mutt to finish me off - and that they'd lost. Maybe with the fog, too.

As I shot an arrow at a monkey that was advancing on Haymitch another jumped at me from behind. I turned back with the bow for a shot - that would have been too late - but thankfully Finnick had gotten to it first. He was incredibly fast with his trident. Faster than any of the rest of us were with our weapons. In return I'd thrown a knife at a monkey behind him. I didn't bother to run after the knife as another monkey took its place. I shot it down with an arrow, and two more after him.

They were coming too fast and we were unable to move through the thick of them. We would run out of arrows, knives, and energy before we could make a dent in the monkeys. I counted the arrows as I shot them. _One, two, three, four, five, six, seven, eight, nine, ten, eleven..._ I knew that the sheaths only had twenty arrows. I had a spare sheath and Cato had the third, but even with all of those arrows it was only so long before we would run out. I had already fired six or so before I'd been counting. It only left three.

As another monkey came charging at me I used the blunt end of the bow to smash the brain in. The guts went splattering everywhere as the monkey fell the ground. My bow now had a slight concave in it but it would still work. And I could always take the spare one from Cato. I watched out of the corner of my eye as Finnick decapitated a monkey. The head came flying over to me and I kicked it at another monkey that was taunting Cato. The monkey turned back and charged for me.

One arrow went to it and another went to a monkey that was trying to drown Finnick. He jumped up with my help as I reached back for another arrow. There was only one left. And there still must have been at least fifty monkeys. More were coming by the minute. I turned back to check on the others for a moment. Haymitch was throwing a knife at a rather large monkey, Enobaria was slicing one in half, Finnick was taking out three or four at a time with his trident, and Cato was ramming two through the hearts with his sword.

My focus had only been taken away for a moment. But that moment was all that the monkey needed. From behind me I was knocked into the water. The monkey wrapped a hand around my braid and yanked me into the water with it. The beast was stronger than I thought that it was as it held me roughly under the water, snapping and growling at me. It bared its long fangs and seemed determined to sink them into me. _No, thank you._ I could just barely keep my eyes open as I held the creature at the neck, praying that it couldn't hold its breath much longer. I knew that I couldn't.

Just as the monkey managed to take a good-sized chunk out of my arm with its fangs - I was unable to scream from the lack of oxygen - I felt it go limp on top of me. I threw it off and fought to get to the surface but I was too weak. There was no way that I could push myself up. Thankfully I never had to. A strong arm wrapped around me and yanked me out of the water. I looked up long enough to see that it was Cato. He was holding onto me tightly.

His eyes dropped down to my arm but I shook my head. I could get the medicine later. Right now we had to get out of here. I grabbed my second sheath of arrows and started working with it.

As we continued to fight I knew that every arrow must count, and they did. In the eerie light, I brought down monkey after monkey, targeting eyes and hearts and throats, so that each hit meant a death. But still it wouldn't be enough without Finnick spearing the beasts like fish and flinging them aside, Cato slashing away with his sword, Enobaria lopping off limbs with her own, and Haymitch skewering them with his knife. I felt claws on my leg and down my back, before someone took out the attacker. I had a feeling that it was Cato. The air grew heavy with trampled plants, the scent of blood, and the musty stink of the monkeys.

We had to figure this out. The monkeys would just keep scratching and slicing away at us until we became too weak from blood loss. Cato, Finnick, Enobaria, Haymitch, and I positioned ourselves in a pentagonal shape, a few yards apart, with our backs to one another, only turning when we heard someone else in a struggle. My heart sank as my fingers drew back my last arrow from the second sheath. Then I remembered that Cato had his third sheath. And he wasn't shooting, he was hacking away with that sword. My own knife was out now, but the monkeys were quicker and could spring in and out so fast that you could barely react.

"We gotta get to the beach!" Cato shouted.

"Run!" Haymitch barked.

Cato ran with me for a moment before I was able to take the lead. I kept him in my peripherals to make sure that he was still running. His leg had slowed him down. During my underwater fight with the monkey - and as I kept guard from the back of the arena towards the force field - it seemed that the others had managed to form somewhat of a path. But monkeys were still charging on us, many trying to cut us off. We ran down a pathway and I howled in pain as something caught my hair.

Once more a monkey had decided that my hair would be a useful tool. It grabbed me by my hair as I swung underneath a branch and used its weight to pull me to the side. I collapsed weakly as the monkey ripped me to the side. I hit the ground roughly and cried out. I yanked the knife out of the holster and jammed it into the monkey's heart. It fell to the side and I struggled to get up. I hit my feet again and reached for another knife.

The moment that I wrapped my handle around one was the same moment that I saw the monkey standing right in front of Cato, roaring loudly. "Cato!" I yelled in warning.

It was too late to do anything. His sword had been knocked from his hand. I threw my knife but it simply rolled under and evaded my attack. I jumped after Cato in panic. _He has to live. It can't be me._ I could only think to cover his body with my own. I wouldn't make it in time. But she did. I hadn't even seen her before. If she'd wanted to, she could have killed me. All of us. She jumped out of the trees like a madwoman. Her entire body was covered in brown paint, helping her blend in. She screeched loudly and jumped in front of the monkey as it jumped for Cato.

The monkey hit her first, sinking its claws into her chest. Cato grabbed his sword from the ground and stabbed the monkey in the side. It fell quickly off of the woman. I was desperate to do something but at the same moment a monkey grabbed me around the ankles, knocking me to the ground. I fell roughly and howled in pain. I did the one thing that I could think of. I yanked my boot away and shoved it into the monkey's face, three or four times.

Finnick had spotted my struggle with the monkey and stabbed through the chest, killing it. One was running up from behind Finnick and I reared back to throw a knife straight through its eye. My arms were shaking as I tried to force myself to keep moving. We had to get away from the monkeys. Ahead of us were Enobaria and Haymitch. They were running together as the two of them cleared away the monkeys that were blocking us from the beach.

"Clear a path!" Enobaria shouted.

"Who is that?" I asked, getting to my feet and leaning over the dying girl.

"A Morphling! Help me get her!" Cato shouted.

My bow was loaded again as I had Cato's arrows. The girl was taking in wheezing breaths. I nodded and leaned over him, helping him lift her. She weighed almost nothing so it was easy to move her. But between the boils from the fog, missing chunk of skin from the monkey, and awkward spastic movements from the paralytic, sprinting was still hard. Finnick stood behind us and took out the remaining monkeys as Cato and I dragged the Morphling out onto the beach.

We didn't stop there. We continued running out into the water. The salt stung on the wounds on my thighs, arms, chest, and legs. The worst was when the salt spray came up to my half-missing shoulder. I pushed past it. Instead I leaned down to the Morphling as Cato held her upright. She was having a worse time than me. I grabbed my hunting knife and cut through the top part of her clothing. Down her torso were four, long, scratch marks from the monkey. We could do nothing about them. She was going to die.

She seemed to know that, too. Finnick and Enobaria were standing at the edge of the jungle where they were hissing at the remaining monkeys, attempting to scare them off. Like the fog, once they hit a certain point they stopped running towards us. After a moment they growled and stalked off back into the woods. Haymitch was leaning over what appeared to be a rather large Sponsor package. In the meantime, Cato was speaking softly to the dying girl.

Cato gently lifted up the Morphling and carried her the last few yards to the beach while Finnick and I kept our weapons at the ready. Haymitch and Enobaria were going through the Sponsor package. But except for the orange carcasses on the ground, the monkeys were now gone. Cato laid the Morphling in the water. Blood slowly trickled from the wounds, making them look far less deadly than they were. The real damage was inside. By the position of the openings, I felt certain the beast ruptured something vital, a lung, maybe even her heart.

She laid in the shallow water and Cato's hands, gasping like a fish out of water. Sagging skin, sickly green, her ribs as prominent as a child's dead of starvation. Surely she could afford food, but turned to the Morphling just as Haymitch turned to drink, I guessed. Everything about her spoke of waste - her body, her life, the vacant look in her eyes. I held one of her twitching hands, unclear whether it moved from the poison that affected our nerves, the shock of the attack, or withdrawal from the drug that was her sustenance. There was nothing we could do. Nothing but stay with her while she died.

"Hey, hey, hey. It's okay. It's okay," Cato said, wrapping an arm around her torso as she attempted to do something - breathe or speak, I couldn't tell. "Hey, you wanna see something? Look up. Look. Look at it. Look at that. It's incredible, isn't it? All those colors." Cato leaned her back in the water. "Don't worry about anything else. I'll be right here with you. It's okay. It's okay."

The Morphling woman's breathing was slowing into shallow catch-breaths. She was about to die. There was nothing that we could do for her, as much as I wished that we could. Her free hand dabbled in the blood on her chest, making the tiny swirling motions she so loved to paint with. She seemed mesmerized by Cato's words. Entranced. She lifted up a trembling hand and painted what I thought might be a flower on Cato's cheek.

"Thank you. That looks beautiful," Cato whispered.

For a moment, the Morphling woman's face lit up in a grin and she made a small squeaking sound. Then her blood-dappled hand fell back onto her chest, she gave one last huff of air, and the cannon fired. _One more down._ Her grip on my hand finally released. Cato let her gently into the water and I helped push her out in the sea a little further. I glanced up at the rising sun and sighed. It seemed too early for the sun to be rising but I said nothing. I merely let Cato sit in the water for a moment and mourn her.

Mourn a woman whose name he hadn't even known. I gently laid a hand on his shoulder. "We need to leave. They're going to want to come and take her body. Come on," I said.

Slowly I pulled him back up to the beach. It seemed like for now we would be safe up here. "Who was that?" Enobaria asked. She had a large cut over her eye.

"The female from District 6," I answered.

"What the hell was she doing around those mutts?" Enobaria scoffed.

Her eye gave a small twinge. She was probably in a lot of pain. "Probably trying to hide. I don't think that she even knew that there were mutts out there," I said.

"Those monkeys didn't even come out until they realized that we were there," Finnick said.

"We all knew that they didn't like us," Haymitch said.

"She had a good place to hide. I would have never spotted her," I said softly.

If we hadn't been there she might not have died. "The monkeys would have gotten to her at one point or another. They've got a damn good sense of smell," Haymitch said.

It wasn't exactly comforting but it was better than the silence. "We need some medicine. Nothing is going to help the burns. The water only helped the boils," I said, after a moment. Like clockwork, Haymitch handed me over the Sponsor package. The note was in Effie's hand.

 _Only use this on the burns. Anyone who was scratched by the monkeys needs something else. Doing well! -E_

Leave it to Effie to still manage to be chipper. Even after everything that happened. The burns from the poison fog, the fights at the Cornucopia, nearly drowning, and watching Cato die. And now the monkeys that had come so close to killing us. And someone had died just to get us away from them. I smiled and grabbed the second package of arrows that she had sent with them, slipping them back into my sheath, almost doubling the size.

"Thanks, Effie," I called.

Haymitch then handed us a second Sponsor package as we seated ourselves on the beach. I was glad to see that people were willing to help us. Of course, with the exception of maybe Gloss and Cashmere, we had the most popular Victors. Not to mention that I was pregnant and wounded. Or so they thought. It didn't appear that we should be getting any more surprises from the Gamemakers for the time being. Perhaps something that I had Seneca to thank for.

 _Use this for Cato's. Be careful with him. That's a bad wound. The white paste is for your arm. Nice job, kids. -B_

"Thanks, Brutus," Cato said.

"Thanks," I mumbled.

Brutus had somehow also gotten myself medicine for my arm. Someone in the Capitol had a lot more money than I had thought that they did. We must have had some of the wealthiest Sponsors in the Capitol on our side. I couldn't help but to wonder if even Seneca had gotten them for us. He was extremely wealthy and while Gamemakers weren't technically allowed to be Sponsors, Seneca was clearly bending the rules for me. Either way, our gifts must have just been extremely expensive.

Between the five of us we quickly opened the Sponsor packages. We worried about Cato's leg, my arm, and Enobaria's face first. Cato let out a string of curses as we dug the medicine into his leg. Finnick and Haymitch held him down as Enobaria and I washed out the wound. We had to wash our hands free of Cato's blood multiple times before his leg was fully coated. My arm was a similar process. And I understood why Cato had been howling in pain. It hurt. Enobaria was last and she could barely tolerate it being on her eye.

Finnick eventually rejoined us with the arrows that I had shot through the monkeys. "Here you go. Thought you might want these," Finnick said, handing me them back.

"Thanks," I said, slipping them back into the second sheath. "Where did the monkeys go?"

"We don't know exactly. The vines shifted and they were gone," Finnick said.

The five of us stared at the jungle, numb and exhausted. Not even a full day had gone by and we were already horribly injured. In the quiet, I noticed that the spots where the fog droplets touched my skin had scabbed over. They had stopped hurting and begun to itch. Intensely. I tried to think of that as a good sign. That they were healing. I glanced over at Cato, Finnick, Haymitch, and Enobaria and saw that they were all scratching at their damaged faces. Yes, even Finnick's beauty had been marred by the night.

"Don't scratch," I said, wanting badly to scratch myself. But I knew that it was the advice that Ms. Everdeen would give. "You'll only bring infection. Think it's safe to try for the water again?"

We all knew that it was the right thing to do. So we had Haymitch and Enobaria continue with the medicine as Finnick, Cato, and I made our way back to the tree that Cato had been tapping. Finnick and I stood with our weapons poised while he worked the spile in, but no threat appeared. Cato found a good vein and the water began to gush from the spile. We slaked our thirst and let the warm water pour over our itching bodies. We filled a handful of shells with drinking water and went back to the beach.

Immediately we handed it to Haymitch and Enobaria. Thankfully the medicine was already helping. The raw pain in my arm faded after a few minutes. Although I realized that it wasn't fading because the pain had gone down. Only because another situation had arisen. The scabs were getting worse and even itchier. The skin was still peeling as I fought to not touch myself. Enobaria, Haymitch, Cato, and Finnick all seemed to still be having the same problems.

It was a good thing. That the scabs were healing. For the next near half hour we all worked. Finnick went back and forth from the campsite. I knew that he was attempting to mourn Mags in private. He let her die, all for Cato. And I had no idea what to say to make it better. So I said nothing. Haymitch applied the medicine first to himself. It was something like a deep green paste. It made him look like some kind of sea monster and smell like he'd just crawled out of a sewer. But it was something.

He looked like he was in less pain. "It smells like sewage," Enobaria growled as Haymitch handed her the paste.

"Don't give a damn what it smells like as long as it helps," I snapped.

Underneath my fingernails was dried blood. I was scratching at the burns without noticing. "You know if you scratch them you'll only bring on infection," Finnick warned.

His eyes were puffy but I pretended not to notice. "So I've heard," I said.

If Enobaria was going to complain about it, I would take it. I let Cato have it first, helping him place it all over his body. The two of us stripped off the remains of our uniforms. They were torn to shreds by both the monkeys and the fog. There was no point in still having them. The medicine left a horrible grey-green tint on our skin and I grimaced. We looked the same that Peeta had at his funeral. A sharp shiver rolled over my spine at the thought. The one good thing about the medicine was that it stopped the itching.

Although we did now all look terrible. Haymitch and Enobaria also took off their uniforms. Finnick was the last to do so. We all tossed them into the ocean, considering there wasn't much left to do with them. Thankfully my underwear was more like a pair of extremely tight, and short, black shorts. The bra was also tight and high-cut. If I had to run I wouldn't be showing anything off. Although my arms, legs, and majority of my torso was still showing. The others were in similar position.

Once I had the medicine completely over me I turned back back to see what the others had been doing in the meantime. There were two woven bowls that were filled with fresh water. I assumed that Finnick had done the bowls while Haymitch had collected the water. A third bowl held a mess of shellfish. I smiled as I walked over to grab one. Cato was sitting at my other side as he ate quietly. I knew that he was still thinking about the Morphling while Finnick was thinking about Mags.

"You look gorgeous," I told Finnick. I'd never seen him this solemn or this silent. I wanted to do something to make him feel better.

Like myself, he had the paste all the way up over his face. "At least I'm not as ugly as you," he said.

I couldn't help it. I laughed loudly. It felt somewhat odd to laugh. "At least neither of us are as ugly as Haymitch," I said.

Haymitch whirled around at my comment with a little snarl on his face. Both Finnick and I laughed at the announcement. "And what the hell was that for?" Haymitch snapped.

A moment later two Sponsor packages fell. One had a loaf of bread in it with a slightly green tinge. It was from District 4. Clearly meant for Finnick. The other landed at my feet. It looked like some of the bread from Peeta's family's bakery. My heart gave a painful twinge. I wished that he was here. I wished that he could see that I was not a piece in their Games anymore. Not this time. I pulled out the note in the package first.

 _For the Haymitch comment, Girl on Fire -B_

I smiled and opened the small container. It wasn't much but it was a small bowl of soup. "Thanks, Brutus," I called.

We all turned to eating the shellfish, bread, and soup. Each person only got about three spoon-fills of the soup to ensure that everyone got some. It meant that we all also only got about four or five shellfish, and each person only got a small piece of the bread. I knew that we all felt better but people were still starving. Uncomfortable too. While the pain from the fog had finally faded, the ointment was now causing some of the scabs to peel. I just wanted to rip the top layer of skin off.

The five of us also took some of the water. About a third of the basket each. We all felt better once we had drank the water - after all of the running and fighting - but I knew that it wasn't enough. Not if we were going to need a meal to keep us through the day. We would need meat. And the meat from the shellfish really wasn't enough. Thankfully without our suits, the ointment seemed to provide some sort of protection for our skin. The last thing that we needed right now were people with burns.

It was probably nearing four o'clock in the morning by the time that I stood again. The paralytic was out of my system by now, but I was still weak. The sun was already beginning to rise over the peak of the other side of the arena. It was getting far too light too early. But that meant that I could use it to my advantage. Animals would just be waking up, as would the Tributes. People - and animals - were going to be moving slowly as they woke up. Perhaps with the exception of the monkeys.

It was going to make the perfect time to go hunting. "This is good but it's not a lot," I said.

"It's fine," Haymitch said.

"Not for all of us. I should go out on a hunt soon. We don't have any more food. None of us have eaten in almost a day. I didn't see anything last night but this early in the morning I might have some more luck," I said.

Haymitch stood at the same time. "Someone will go with you," he said.

Cato went to stand before I pushed him down. "No," I told Cato.

"You shouldn't go alone," Cato said.

"Cato's right. I'll go with you," Finnick said.

"No. Not this time. You're all too loud. Sorry, but it's the truth. Finnick too, even. If I want to go out there on a hunt I have to do it without you guys. I'll stay close and be back soon," I said.

They all looked nervous. Cato looked like he was ready to step in and tell me to stay. "You sure that you'll be alright out there by yourself?" Finnick finally asked.

"I did it once before," I pointed out dryly.

Finnick's eyebrow raised. We really didn't need to be checking up on each other the way that we were. Every person in our alliance had beaten these Games before. But these were different. "Fair point. Head out when it gets a little lighter," Finnick suggested.

"Okay."

It was still far too dark and in the depths of the jungle it would be even darker. He was right to wait for the sun. Cato had moved to sit on the other side of the rocks so I followed him. After staring at him for a moment I took a seat at his side. He glanced up at me and I had to stop myself from reacting to the sight of him. I knew that I didn't look any better. I might have actually looked worse. My face had gotten hit by the fog more than Cato's had. Although Finnick had gotten it worse than I had.

"Hey," I said softly, "you alright?"

He looked over at me with pained eyes. I grabbed his hand and leaned halfway onto his lap. "She sacrificed herself for me and I didn't even know her name," he said weakly.

My eyebrow raised. "You think she sacrificed herself?" I asked.

Why would someone sacrifice themselves for him? He - along with myself - were some of the few reasons that all of these people had ended up in the arena again in the first place. Cato shrugged his shoulders. "Looked like it," Cato said.

"But that doesn't make any sense," I said.

Cato looked up at me curiously. "What do you mean?" he asked.

"We're half of the reason that these people ended up back in the arena in the first place. Why would they want anything to do with us?" I asked, resisting the urge to scratch the blisters.

"I don't know. But I don't think that it's a good thing," Cato said.

Anything that they did for one of the two of us was never going to be good. "No. It's not. It doesn't bode well if they're trying to protect us," I said.

"Why's that?"

"It means that they're doing something behind our backs. And I don't like the sound of that."

Cato looked over and I his grip on my hands tightened. "Be careful out there, alright?" Cato asked desperately.

It was right there in his eyes. A pleading for me to not leave on my own. But I had to. There wasn't a choice. We were not going to starve to death because we were all too afraid to go back into the jungle. I didn't want to rely on the sparse Sponsor packages. The place that had once seemed like protection now seemed to urge on our doom. But we had to get back out there. I had to go hunting. And at some point I knew that we were all going to end up back in the jungle. There wasn't enough coverage out here.

I sat upright and smiled at Cato. "No more than thirty minutes. Come looking for me if I'm out longer, yeah?" I asked.

"Of course," Cato said.

We gave each other a soft kiss for a few moments before I backed away. One of the last few kisses that I would ever give him. It did bother me that we wouldn't be together much longer. I gave Cato one last smile before turning back to the jungle and calling out to the others that I was going to head out for half an hour. They all gave me an affirmative with the promise that I would be back in time or they would come out looking for me.

Making sure that I wasn't heading into the sections of jungle that had the fog or monkeys, I headed straight into the thick of the trees. I was sure that something was hiding in here too but I was going to pretend for now that it was something that would come once I was long gone. As I walked through the thick leaves and heavy branches I was sent back to my time in the arena the first time around. How had I done this all day for nearly two weeks? It was boring as hell.

Although I would definitely take that over what had already happened to us in the first few hours of being in the arena. A Bloodbath with nothing but weapons, killing a few past Victors, some of them whom had been my friends, making a rather large alliance, the poison fog, and the killer monkey mutts; all of it in the first eighteen or so hours. And we were already almost to the halfway point of Tributes. Only thirteen of us remained.

It was about average for the first day. Last year had just been shorter. The hunt was the first time that I'd truly been alone since coming into the arena. In some ways it creeped me out - and definitely made me paranoid - but I liked being able to think. I liked imagining that my family was back home in District 12, happy as could be. But I knew that wasn't the truth. They were probably already mourning me. I was already mourning myself. It would only be a matter of days before I was dead too.

In the back of my mind I could only imagine how Prim felt. I didn't like thinking about it, but I couldn't stop. Prim probably already thought that it was her fault that I had been in the Games the first time. Which it wasn't. I wished that I could have gotten my three minutes to tell her that this time had been no one's fault but my own. If I had never pulled the knife stunt in the first Games, Cato would have killed me and none of us would have been here.

Katniss was probably beside herself. I could only imagine how she felt watching me with the monkeys and poison fog. She hated animals of all kind. She sometimes could tolerate them but for the most part she'd rather hunt them. She would have flipped at the monkeys. And the poison fog. Maybe she would have been smart enough to run first. Or maybe she wouldn't have been able to beat it. She wasn't as fast of a runner as I was. All I knew was that she must have been screaming at the television for me to get up.

And then there was Ms. Everdeen. Mom. How the hell did she feel about the entire thing? It must have pained her to see me back in the arena. She had sworn to her best friend that she was going to protect me with everything that she could. But that hadn't worked very well. I had already gone into the arena once, and now here I was, again, and it was all my fault. There was nothing that she could have done to save me. This was my fault. She had tried her hardest. But I wasn't one that wanted saving.

In fact, these days it seemed like I tried to do anything to make sure that I couldn't be saved. As I walked through the jungle - still unable to find any animals - I thought to Gale. My Gale. The Gale that had always laid down everything to come to my rescue. He would have been a good guy to be with. If I hadn't gone into the Games last year I would have been happy with him. We both would have been coal miners and had a small family. The two of us would have been happy together.

But that wasn't the way that things had managed to work out. I'd gone into the Games and ended up with Cato. I was happy about that. But that didn't mean that I didn't regret everything that had happened with Gale. All of the pain that I had caused him. The problem was that he was still trying to save me. Even after everything that had happened between us and with Cato. He would always be there to save me. He would probably save me right now if he could. I was sure that at this very moment he was looking for a way to save me.

It wasn't even just my family that was waiting to see what would happen. I tried to forget that Finnick had Annie, and other Tributes in here had their families too. There was one family that I simply couldn't forget about. Cato's. Technically mine as well. Damian must have hated me. I was the one that had dragged his son into all of this. And Alana - as sweet as she was - must have despised that she was once more separated from her son. Dean and Aiden, both angry that their brother was away again.

Carrie, missing the one member of her family that meant everything to her, other than her husband and daughter. Leah and Marley, both too young to understand where Cato had gone again. I wondered if they were still babbling about the 'pretty girl' that was on the television with Cato. And Skye and Julie... Cato's best friends that had finally accepted me. Did they hate me again now that they saw everything that he was going through? All because of two little knives. And one little girl that got in way too deep.

As I walked I let out a little breath. It was too much for me to handle. I was only nineteen, going to be twenty in a week. But I knew that I would never reach it. In the short amount of time that Cato and I had been together, so much had happened. We had won the Seventy-Fourth Hunger Games out of a move of stupidity. I had given him every last bit of me - something that I had never even imagined doing. The two of us had gotten married in front of all of Panem. Everything that I had never expected to happen to me had all really come true. All because of me.

All because of us. Cato and me. No part of me wanted to give up what I had with him. I loved him and I always would love him. That would never change. But it didn't change the fact that I wished that something else could have happened. I wished that he could go back and never win the Games. I wish that I would have let the kid from District 6 kill me. Cato would have won the Games. He would have gone home and found some good girl to marry. He would have never married me.

It sent a strange pang through my chest. I never wanted to think about someone else being with him. As much as I wanted to change things - prevent him from ever having to go back into the Games - I would have never wanted to lose him. I didn't want to lose him. It was the same way that he felt about me. I knew that we both wanted the other to live. It was our greatest fear. Losing each other. But we knew that it was going to happen. I would die.

He _could not_ die. Never. I would never let him die. No matter what, he was going to live. He had to. I had die. I had already realized that I was going to die and I had made my peace with that. It wasn't bothering me anymore. It had been a long time since the thought of my death had bothered me. It almost seemed good. It was an end to all of my pain. When the time came that I finally did die, I would be ready. I would welcome death, knowing that he was safe.

Taking the long way around a heavily sloped corner I heard a sharp shriek. There was a Tribute in the area. I raised my bow and arrow - which was already nocked - and aimed it straight ahead of me. It turned out that it wasn't a Tribute. Instead it was a rather ugly-looking bird. I shot out as it raised off the branch, probably ready to attack me. The arrow soared through the air and caught the bird through the throat. It fell to the ground and I yanked the arrow out, cleaning it off.

A few moments later I tossed the arrow back into the sheath and laid my bow on the ground. Once I had made sure to bleed the bird out I hooked it onto the belt, which I had kept. Not much but it was something. Hopefully I would find something else. Once the bird was securely attached to the belt I turned back and smiled at my catch. It wouldn't be much but it was something. And at least I had managed to make it this long without getting attacked by a Tribute or mutt.

As I turned to leave the area I felt a small rumbling coming from the ground. _Spoke too soon._ It had to be an earthquake or something like that. Bile began to build in my throat as I turned back to see what it was. I leaned down and grabbed my bow before nocking an arrow. It wasn't just a Tribute. The banging on the ground was too hard. And it didn't seem to be an earthquake either. _What the hell is coming for me?_ Probably a mutt. Something to tear me apart, considering my good past luck with mutts.

Something was coming after me and it was going to be a big problem. There were no Tributes that would have been that loud. No natural disaster that I could think of either. So what was it? A rather large figure dashed around the trees and I fired my arrow. Somehow the man that was running had seen me. The man caught sight of my arrow and dove to the side. I went to yank out another arrow but I was too slow. And he was terrified. Not of me, of something else.

"Run!" the young man from District 10 shouted.

 _What?_ He was armed but he didn't look like he wanted to engage in a fight with me. He looked like he wanted to help me out. With a sudden jolt I realized that if he was that panicked with no weapon trained on me, there was probably a good reason that I should run. I would rather face a fight with him than a mutt. My feet turned on the grass but before I could begin sprinting away I saw just what it was that the man was shouting at me about.

It was big. And it was nothing like I had ever imagined. It made the wolf mutt from last year look like Buttercup. If I could search for something to call it, it was something in between a spider and a scorpion. _Oh yeah, Katniss would have lost her shit._ The mutt was more of a scorpion. It was huge. About ten feet long. Its head had eight eyes that were all beady and long fangs that were dripping some type of poison. It had four, long, legs on each side of the torso that seemed to be lined with some type of armor.

There was no way that I was going to be able to shoot the thing with an arrow. Nothing was going to pierce the armor. Not even the sword that Cato had. I tried anyways, but I couldn't find the eyes. So I shot at the head. It did nothing. The arrow tinged off of the mutt before hitting the ground again. No... It had some type of armor all over its body. There was no way that I could fight this thing the way that we had fought the monkeys just a little while ago.

The worst thing about the mutt was the two arms on the front. It had two large pincers that could easily slice through a human torso. Although I really intended to avoid the tail. On the end of the tail was a sharp spike. If we weren't careful that spike was going to go straight through our chests. It definitely was worse than anything I'd ever seen. Even worse than the wolf. It shrieked extremely loudly and was startlingly high-pitched before I turned on my heels.

Something in between a piercing scream, horrified grunt, and exhausted sigh escaped my mouth. If it was last year I would have already been crying. But I knew what I had to do. Keep calm, say nothing, and sprint faster than ever before. So I broke into a dead sprint. _This is what I get for hanging Snow_. We were extremely fast as we dashed through the trees and jungle. But the scorpion was faster. After all, it had eight legs to carry it.

"Run! Split up! It can't follow us both!" the man shouted.

Part of me wanted to yell to him that we were better off if we continued to run straight forward. But I knew that I was better off letting the mutt try and follow him. I had to be cruel. He would have to die eventually anyways if I wanted Cato to win. I had to pray that it wouldn't get to me so that I could get out of here in time. I dashed through the trees and broke over a few drop-offs. Thankfully this time I didn't fall over anything.

The tail of the mutt reared over the head of the scorpion before jamming down to where I was standing. I jumped to the side and stared as the spear-like tail punctured the ground near where I had been running. It went down almost three feet into the ground and I whimpered. That wouldn't have been good if that had been me. But it did give me the chance to get ahead of it a little. I staggered a few times as I continued to sprint faster than I was sure that I ever had. Even with the split the mutt still wasn't running after him.

"Hey, hey! Come over here! Come on!" the man shouted at the mutt, attempting to draw its attention away from me.

He dashed through the weeds to run next to me. I nodded at him as we sprinted through the jungle. Finally we broke through the trees but it only made less obstacles for the mutt. It sped up until it was right on our tail. More than once it jammed down the tail towards us. Thankfully we avoided it each time. After a moment I realized that the man had slowed drastically and now was falling behind. The decency in me made me slow with him. Instead of speeding up again he shoved me ahead of him.

"Come on! Run! We can both make it!" I shouted.

The beach. The beach was our best bet. It seemed like nothing wanted to be out there. "Go! Don't stop!" the man yelled.

So I did. I turned back and yelled, "Hurry!"

We continued to run but I was cut off when the man's screams filled the jungle. I turned back long enough to see what had happened. The mutt reared back its tail again to jam it through the man's stomach. I howled in fear as I debated on trying to save him. But it was too late. I knew that it was. The mutt screeched loudly before it took one of the hooked claws and shred right through the man's stomach. I screamed loudly as he was cut in half and his blood sprayed across my face and chest. A moment later the other hooked claw took off the man's head.

His mouth had still been opened in a scream that had never come out. We had never stood a chance against this mutt. Not the way that I had at least had somewhat of a fighting chance against the lion, bear, and wolf. I was absolutely petrified as the pieces of the man from District 10 were dropped to the ground by the mutt and I turned to sprint away, wiping his blood from my eyes. I wasn't far from the beach. I just had to run as fast as humanly possible. _I will not be its other meal._

A few seconds later I heard a cannon fire. _One more gone._ "Aspen!" a very familiar shout sounded in the distance.

It was Cato. _He's terrified that the cannon is for me. It almost was._ I didn't want to risk yelling again in case there were more than one of those mutts around here. I couldn't draw them to me. It was the first time in a long time that I had gotten away from a mutt without so much as a scratch on me. The same could not be said for the man from District 10. My heart was pounding as I spotted the edge of the jungle and the sand of the beach.

"Aspen! Aspen!" Cato was still shouting.

"Aspen!" Finnick's voice shouted.

"Aspen!" Haymitch called.

Finally I broke the beach line and sprinted through. Cato immediately caught my eyes with everyone else. "Aspen!" Cato shouted.

He ran to meet me with the rest of the alliance. "Cato!" I shouted desperately.

He caught me in a tight hug as the two of us fell to the ground. I knew that I was shaking pathetically. "What happened? Oh, my God, I thought that cannon was for you," Cato said weakly.

I leaned in to kiss him, trying to avoid letting a tear fall. We stayed together for a moment before breaking apart. Everyone else had walked up to me by now. "A mutt. A mutt. Out there," I breathed weakly, motioning back to the trees.

"Come here. Come here," Haymitch said, leading me into the water.

Finnick and Enobaria were helping wash me off as Haymitch fed me some water. Cato was still holding onto me tightly. "Are you alright?" Finnick asked after a moment.

"Yeah. Yeah. I'm good," I said, shaking.

"Are you injured?" Cato asked.

"No. Just startled. Nothing happened. Got caught in a few branches and a few vines. But other than that I'm fine. Mutt didn't get to me. It's the blood from the man from District 10. The mutt got him," I said softly.

No one said anything else. They knew that I had been through something traumatic. I tossed the bird to Enobaria, who went to skinning and cooking it. Not that she was working very fast. I knew that they were all jumpy from my previous encounter, which I was still too rattled from to recount to anyone. Cato helped wash off my bow and arrows before handing them back to me. I slid them over my shoulders as I washed off my stomach, chest, and face.

They were the last remnants of the man whose names I hadn't even known. We had chatted a few times in training. He had actually been reasonably friendly. But his name... I didn't even know his damn name. It was something that I hadn't even bothered to ask. Off in the distance I could see the Capitol hovercraft dropping down to retrieve the man. It had to come down five times to pick up the torn pieces of his body before it flew off again.

"Cato," I mumbled softly, "you told me that you thought that the Morphling sacrificed her life for you?"

He looked up, probably shocked that I had said something. I'd been silent for so long. Probably near an hour. "Yeah," he said softly.

"I think that someone just sacrificed themselves for me, too," I said.

"You're sure?"

"He called the mutt towards him. Slowed down to let it kill him."

Cato couldn't say anything back to that. There was nothing to say back to that. People were sacrificing themselves for us and neither one of us knew why. I just knew that it wasn't a good thing. Once I was sure that all of the blood was off of me I got up out of the water and walked over to where the bird was nearly cooked. It hadn't really been cooked much at all. We had been too afraid that the fire would attract more Tributes or another mutt. As we ate I explained what had happened.

Thankfully no one had pressed me for more details. I didn't want to recount it. We were all sitting and watching as Cato opened oysters. They weren't much food or anything like that, but they were something. And it was something to keep him busy. I knew that he was nervous. This was the first time that he had not wanted to win the Hunger Games. He wanted me to. He didn't want to go Tribute hunting. He just wanted to make sure that his wife was safe.

He popped open an oyster that he had been fighting with for a few minutes and I smiled at the inside. A pearl was laying on the edge of it. The pearl had some sand and whatnot on it but it was very pretty. Something that was too pretty for something in the arena. Cato held it up and smiled as he showed it to me.

"Look. For you," he said.

He extended his hand and gave me the pearl. I smiled at him and leaned in for a kiss. "Thank you. It's beautiful," I said.

We gave each other a brief kiss before I reached into the pocket of my undershirt and tucked it inside. It wasn't something that I was willing to lose. "Feels out of place here. Like something is bound to happen," Enobaria said.

"As long as that damn mutt doesn't come back for me, I think that I'll manage," I said.

We were silent for a moment. "What exactly was it?" Haymitch finally asked.

Of all of the things that I had told them about the mutt I hadn't bothered telling them what it was. "I don't know. I couldn't even begin to describe it. It looked like a mix of a scorpion and a spider. It was bad, whatever the hell it was," I snarled.

The others that I was sitting with had gone stark white. "It was just to scare you. Don't worry about it. I doubt they'll send any of the mutts out here to the beach," Cato said.

They were going to send mutts wherever the hell the felt like if it meant that it would get rid of us. "Oh I wouldn't say that," Finnick said, sharing my thoughts.

Again our group fell into a little silence. Haymitch had since collected more water and I watched as the baskets that Finnick had weaved were passed around. I noticed that everyone let me have the longest turn with them. They were treating me like a doll and I didn't like it. Of course I wasn't going to say anything. So I simply sat back and tried to push out the thoughts of the man being decapitated and torn in half. I tried to not think that just a while ago I had been coated in his blood.

It took me a little too long to remember that they also thought that I was pregnant. Well, Enobaria did, and that meant that we had to keep up the lie. Especially to keep up with our Sponsors. Although... Was there a chance that Enobaria knew the truth? I wasn't sure. Interrupting my thoughts was a loud scream coming from across the arena. We all stood quickly, waiting for the person to appear. They never did. Instead, it was Cato who spoke.

"That's new," he muttered.

Out in the distance, near where the scream had come from, I could see something brimming over the trees. It seemed to be similar to the fog. But this was different as it whipped the trees at the top of the ridge. It seemed to come careening down the hill. The screaming had long since stopped and I wondered if the girl who had screamed had died. But there was no cannon yet. It took me a moment to realize that it was water. This wasn't fog or rain or anything of the sort. It was a tsunami.

It came down the far side of the arena before bursting through the palm trees. They were nearly blown off of the ground from the force. Finally, as the water began to approach the Cornucopia, a cannon went off. The wave hit the Cornucopia roughly before hitting what seemed to be an invisible barrier. Just the same way that the fog had. It spread out over the water but kept it from rushing at us too fast. The water began to spread over the spokes and I stared curiously as it rushed onto our side of the beach.

It began to flood slightly and I helped everyone else rush to pick up our things to keep them from being washed away. Everyone allowed the jumpsuits to wash away with the oyster shells. There was nothing that we could do with them anymore. The water slipped back down into the small ocean around the Cornucopia as a hovercraft flew through the other side of the arena. It dropped down and picked up the Tribute. I couldn't tell who, only that it was a woman.

Only eleven of us remained now. We were already past the halfway point and we hadn't even been in the arena for a day. Not that it should have been surprising. I was shocked that more of us weren't dead already. I had thought that they might just set off an explosion to kill all but one of us. As the others stared off at the jungle I glanced back to see two figures weakly stumbling out, carrying a third with them. They were covered head-to-toe in some red liquid.

"Someone's here," I said, reaching back and tearing an arrow out of my sheath.

Cato grabbed his sword, as did Enobaria, but Haymitch and Finnick merely stared. After a moment I realized that the figures were Johanna, Beetee, and Wiress. He seemed to be in the worst shape. "Johanna? Johanna!" Finnick shouted.

She turned to him and, for the first time since I'd met her, I saw a mix of something like relief and joy. "Finnick!" Johanna yelled as she ran to embrace him.

Enobaria seemed about as thrilled with our new additions as I was. I didn't mind Beetee and Wiress but I did have a few things to say when it came to Johanna. "Guess we have more allies," Cato said.

Slowly he went to walk over to the new additions. "Great," I muttered.

"Come on," Haymitch said, pushing against my back. "Let's go say hi."

"She's got Nuts and Volts," Cato muttered. "I've got to hear how that happened. Come on."

We walked up to Johanna and the others. I trailed behind a little bit. I expected a crude remark but she looked a little too frazzled to insult me. She looked a little too dazed to even realize that it was me. I realized as I walked forward that it was because she was drenched from head-to-toe in blood. That was what the red substance was. And it wasn't just her. It was Beetee and Wiress too. What the hell had happened to them? It didn't look like it was their blood either. Maybe Beetee's.

Beetee and Wiress immediately walked over to the ocean and fell in. Neither looked very capable of helping themselves out right now. Wiress was walking around in circles and looked like she was very deranged about something. Beetee looked like he had been badly injured. Maybe in the Bloodbath or maybe from whatever the blood had come from. But no one went over to them. We all waited to see what Johanna would say about what had happened.

"Well... I got 'em out. We were all the way deep into the jungle where I thought it was gonna be safe. That's when the rain started. I thought it was water. It turned out to be blood," Johanna explained.

Her breathing was heavy and labored. I assumed that it had not been an easy past twenty or so hours for her. The arena was twice as brutal this year as it ever had been. "Tick tock," Wiress said, almost desperately.

Wiress had limped back up to the beach. "Hot, thick blood. It was coming down," Johanna snarled.

Wiress had now limped over to Johanna and had her hands on the girl, trying to get her to pay attention. "Tick tock."

"It was choking us," Johanna continued. Wiress tried to grab her around the arm but it was useless. Johanna merely wrapped her arm around Wiress's chest and shoved her backwards. It did little to deter the older woman. "We were stumbling around, gagging on it, blind."

"Tick tock."

"That's when Blight hit the force field," Johanna said.

The way she said it meant that she wasn't so lucky to get Blight back the way that I had been with Cato. "I'm sorry, Johanna," Finnick said.

"Tick tock. Tick tock."

No one was paying a lick of attention to Wiress. "He wasn't much, but he was from home," Johanna said with more emotion then I'd ever heard from her. _So that was the cannon that I heard in the middle of the night._

"Tick tock. Tick tock. Tick tock," Wiress continued as she walked around us.

We all stared at her for a moment before I decided to be the one that asked the question that was on our minds. "What's wrong with her?"

Beetee glanced up. He had pulled himself from the ocean and was now down on his knees in the sand. "She's in shock," he answered.

"Tick tock," Wiress continued.

"Dehydration isn't helping. Do you have fresh water?" Beetee asked.

"We can get some," I answered.

The bowls were empty as of right now. We had drained them before they'd arrived. Wiress had moved again so that she was standing in front of Johanna and nearly hanging off of the girl. "Just..." Johanna started, trying to pry her off.

"Tick tock."

Johanna had clearly gotten to her wits end with Wiress. "Listen," Johanna started as Wiress continued to grab at her. She finally had it as she shoved Wiress back roughly. "Stop it!"

She then knocked Wiress back onto the sand. And that was where I'd had enough of Johanna. "Hey! Lay off her!" I shouted, dashing up to Johanna.

"Just sit down!" Johanna snapped at Wiress, who looked stunned. "Hey!" She rounded on me as I ran up to her. "What are you doing?"

Suddenly I gave a rough shove and caught her around the throat. She glanced up at me, clearly shocked that I had dared to try and touch her. I didn't give her a chance to retaliate. Neither one of us did. Together we went sprawling to the ground before we both stood up again. I tried to advance on Johanna as she did the same with me. Unfortunately the others were watching out for us. Finnick grabbed Johanna as Haymitch and Cato grabbed me. Enobaria was snorting.

"Hey, hey, hey!" Finnick shouted, pulling Johanna away from me.

"I got them out for you!" Johanna howled at me as Finnick dragged her back into the water.

"It's okay. It's okay."

"Let me go, Finnick!"

Finnick tossed her writhing body over his shoulder and carried her out into the water and repeatedly dunked her while she screamed a lot of really insulting things at me. But I still didn't shoot. Because she was with Finnick and because of what she said, about getting them for me. She was still trying to fight me but my instinct to fight back had died. She had just said that she'd gotten them out for me. What the hell was that supposed to mean? Why would she, of all people, want to do anything for me?

"For me? What does that mean?" I asked Cato.

It was Haymitch that stepped forward. "Don't worry about it," Haymitch said, patting me on the back, moving me away from where Finnick still had Johanna.

"Let me go," Johanna howled.

Finnick dunked her head underneath the water to clean her off as she began to howl every cruel obscenity I knew at me. "You did want them as allies," Cato finally said.

It was the truth. But why would Johanna have cared? We weren't friends and hadn't decided to be allies before this. But I knew that, as much as she hated me, she did want me as an ally. She had made that clear enough when she'd tried to get in the elevator with us the night of the Interviews. I grabbed Cato's hand and walked him over with me to where Beetee and Wiress were sitting. They both looked tired and stunned. Enobaria had grabbed the spile to collect more water.

"I'm fine," Johanna said.

"Come on, let's get you cleaned up. Hand us your uniforms. We'll wash them for you," I told Beetee and Wiress.

They both stared at Cato and I for a moment before nodding. They slipped themselves out of their outer uniforms and stayed in their undergarments as Cato and I washed out the blood from theirs. The worst part was that it really did feel the way that real blood felt. It looked like it, too. It made me wonder if there was somewhere in particular that they had gotten this blood. _Probably from my family. Prim. Katniss. Ms. Everdeen. Gale. Cinna..._

Shaking those thoughts away I finished up their uniforms and handed them back to the owners. Beetee kept his off of his torso. "Tick tock. Tick tock. Tick tock!" Wiress howled.

"Tick tock, okay," I said, grabbing Wiress's shoulders softly.

Perhaps she really was aware of just how little time we had left. Not that I could blame her. She had already been a little unhinged and the blood rain had probably only made things a little worse. And whatever had happened at the Bloodbath to them. I glanced over to the side and realized that Beetee was playing with some kind of wire. Other than one medical kit I'd seen, the Cornucopia had only had weapons. What was that doing in there?

"What does Beetee have there?" I asked.

To my complete surprise, it was Johanna that answered. She was clean now and somewhat more even tempered. "The coil? It's some kind of wire," she said.

"Did he get it from the Cornucopia?" I asked.

Perhaps there was a chance that a Sponsor had sent it. "Took a knife in the back to get it," Johanna said.

Now that was something curious. I couldn't believe that the wire had been there. Nope. It had indeed been in there. But why? Why was that the only thing - other than one medical kit - that had been laid out in the Cornucopia that wasn't a weapon? Even more than all of us being back here, something really strange was happening. Then I remembered that she had mentioned the stab wound. In a very near-fatal place.

"We've got medicine for it. Come here, Beetee," I said.

Beetee crawled over as I slathered the medicine from the monkey attack over his back. In the meantime, everyone else kept themselves busy. Enobaria and Haymitch collected more oysters and everything else for us to eat. It wasn't exactly good and mostly uncooked, but it was better than nothing. Cato and I were sitting in each other's arms. My head was gently resting on his shoulder. Once I had finished eating I'd gone to picking out the dried blood from underneath my fingernails.

In the meantime I overheard Finnick explaining what had happened with the monkeys and the fog to the others. He was telling Johanna in a detached, clinical, voice. I knew that he was still hurting from what had happened with Mags. Something that I now felt very guilty for. Johanna seemed relieved to know that that was what was wrong with our skin and where our jumpsuits had gone. He later explained what I had told him about the mutt attack earlier.

Wiress had calmed down for a while for us all to eat but she had started up again. I sighed and grabbed her arm, bringing her into the water. "Tick tock! Tick tock!" Wiress hooted.

Maybe she needed some cold water on her head. It was hot out here after all. "All right," I told her softly.

Johanna stood and walked away from us. "I can't. Just... Have fun with Nuts," Johanna said.

Again I rolled my eyes at her. There was no need to call them that. Sure, they were a little strange. But that didn't justify calling them the names that she was. They were still alive, that had to count for something. Even if she had helped them. A moment later Cato joined us in the water. He had come mostly to wash out the injury on his leg. It was already looking slightly better but I knew that the Capitol would have a hell of a time putting it back together once he was crowned Victor.

"I think that's all I can do," I said to Cato.

"You're pretty good with that," Cato said, motioning to my healing skills. "Must be in your blood."

"No. My parents were fighters," I said tersely.

It was Prim who was a natural with the healing stuff. I wasn't that good with it. I was only decent because the others had taught me how before and after the Games. Because I'd been forced to learn. From everything that I had heard about my parents, they were fighters. Their blood had quickened during a hunt, not an epidemic. But they weren't the cruel ones. Wherever that had come from was somewhere else. My parents weren't cruel. I knew that they weren't. I was. And it was why I had been a Victor.

"Just last night only eight of us had died. Now there's only eleven left," I muttered.

"Faster than last year," Cato put in.

"I don't think it's even eight in the morning yet. It's like they're pushing these Games forward as fast as they can," I said.

"They are," Cato said darkly.

"Tick tock. Tick tock," Wiress said again.

A moment later Johanna came and sat down with me. Haymitch had just admitted what had happened with Mags. "She was Finnick's Mentor, you know," Johanna said accusingly.

"No, I didn't," I said.

"She was half his family," Johanna continued a few moments later, but there was less venom behind it.

We watched the water lap up over the undergarments. "So what were you doing with Nuts and Volts?" I asked.

"I told you - I got them for you. Haymitch said if we were to be allies I had to bring them to you. That's what you told him, right?" Johanna asked, motioning over to where he was standing.

 _No_. But I nodded my head in assent, realizing that Haymitch wanted me to go along with it. "Thanks. I appreciate it," I said.

"I hope so."

She gave me a look filled with loathing, like I was the biggest drag possible on her life. I wondered if this was what it was like to have an older sister who really hated you. Since Katniss and Prim were both younger than me and they both loved me. And Carrie seemed quite fond of me, too. Just like before with Johanna, Wiress was now continuing to grab onto my arm like something horrible was about to happen. Which it likely was.

The sun rose in the sky until it was getting close to being directly over us. Not quite noon, but it would be sometime in the next few hours. Maybe not. It likely wasn't really the right time. The Gamemakers kept the time in the arena a little different from time in the real world. Not that it mattered. I sat for a while watching the waves, keeping Wiress calm, lulled into a sort of peacefulness by the lapping of the water. I thought of last night, how the lightning began just after the bell tolled. Twelve bongs.

Wiress continued to make her noises in the background as everyone calmed down and started talking about taking shifts so that we could all get some sleep after the disturbing and long night. There had to be a reason that she was saying something like that. She couldn't be saying all of this just because she was a little scrambled. There was a reason. So I thought about everything that I possibly could. Why was she so panicked?

"Tick tock. Tick tock. Tick tock. Tick tock," I mumbled as I thought.

Cato was reapplying the medicine on his leg as he looked over. "Please tell me that you're not going nuts too?" he asked.

Some part of me knew that I should say something but I completely ignored him as the idea fell together. The arena wasn't a random sequence of things happening. And Wiress had figured it out. Tick tock was her way of telling us. And now it made sense. The twelve gongs last night were to signal midnight. That was when the lightning had started. It was also the way that the tail of the Cornucopia was facing. Not long after the blood rain must have started.

That would have been when I'd heard the cannon for Blight go off. It had woken me up just before the fog rain had started. We'd run and not long after the monkeys had attacked us. After we'd rested I'd gone out and faced the mutt in another section. Almost an hour and a half had passed before the tsunami - two sections over from where the scorpion mutt had been - passed through. It all made sense. I did a quick mental count of the sections of the arena. Twelve. Twice a day, during their hour, the events would occur.

"Tick tock," I muttered again. Everyone was now staring at me. There was just one thing that I needed to know. _"_ Johanna?"

"What?" she called back.

"About what time did that blood rain start?" I asked.

She was staring at me like I was insane. But I wasn't. And neither was Wiress. She was a genius. We just had to listen to her. "What?" Johanna asked.

"The blood rain. What time?" I asked.

"I don't know. If you guys heard those gongs last night, too, it was about an hour after that," Johanna said.

That would have put it at around one o'clock in the morning. And that was what made the entire idea about the arena make sense. "Of course. Tick tock. The arena is a clock!"

 **A/N:** Here's another fully edited chapter. **Please review!** Until next time -A

 **Fire'sCatching: This one is a quicker story. Catching Fire was, I believe, the shortest of the books. And their time in the arena was extremely quick, seeing as it was just barely three days. But I'll try to stretch it out as much as possible! Yes, one more sequel for the events of Mockingjay. Thanks! Hope you enjoyed this one :)**


	17. Chapter 17

How could I have not seen it before? How could none of us have seen it before? It was so obvious. Even though it had only been a few hours since we had set foot in the arena - not even a full day - I couldn't believe that it had taken me this long to figure out. I should have figured it out the second that the poison fog and monkeys hit. The moment that they didn't leave their sector. It all made sense now. Everything had fallen into place in a matter of seconds. All because of Wiress's seemingly lunatic ravings.

The entire time the truth had been glaring at us in the face and we still hadn't been able to piece it together. They'd given us so many clues, too. The twelve gongs that went off at midnight followed be the lightning strike. As I glanced over at the tree that the lightning struck at twelve, I saw it. The tail of the Cornucopia was pointing right to the tree. They'd given us practically everything to figure out what the arena was. And Wiress had just given me the answer.

A clock. I could almost see the hands ticking around the twelve-sectioned face of the arena. The corners of my lips tilted upwards. Despite how awful it was, everything made sense now, and I had figured it out. Each hour began a new horror, a new Gamemaker weapon, and ended the previous. Lightning, blood rain, fog, monkeys, the scorpion muttation - those were the first five hours on the clock. An hour of something that I didn't know. And at six, the wave. I didn't know what happened in the other six, but I knew Wiress was right.

At present, I wasn't sure what was happening. Were we still in the tsunami hour or had we passed it and were in the seven o'clock sector? It didn't matter. I couldn't see what was happening. But I did realize that directly across the arena from where the tsunami erupted was the tree that the lightning had struck. We were far too close to jungle, where the attacks were wired to hit. Did the various attacks stay within the confines of the jungle? Not necessarily. The wave didn't.

If that fog leached out of the jungle, or the monkeys returned... It was hours away, but it would return eventually. The lightning seemed to stay in the confines of the jungle and so did the blood rain, but what if there was something more dangerous? The fog had stopped but we had been in the jungle. Had it stopped on the beach? All I knew was that we had to move to stay away from the active sectors. A wide smile broke over my face as I grabbed Wiress and brought her into a hug.

"My God, it's a clock! Wiress, you're a genius. You're a genius!" I yelled.

We could panic in a moment. For now we were safe. We weren't close to the active sector. I grabbed Wiress's face and brought our heads together. The others at the beach were watching us curiously as Wiress returned the gesture. She was laughing softly at me, clearly thrilled that I had figured it out. I was, too. Cato tossed the tube of medicine over to me now that everyone was done applying the coats and I caught the tube, tucking it into my belt.

"What's going on?" Cato asked, sloshing through the water. He looked slightly concerned.

"It's Wiress!"

Beetee's head shot up in panic, probably thinking that there was something wrong with her. "What happened?" Finnick asked.

"Get over here! Everyone, come over here!" I called.

Grabbing Wiress's hand, I had Cato help me bring her back up to the beach, where we met the others halfway. My entire body had been shaking and I had been exhausted from everything that had happened so far. But now I wasn't. Now I was renewed with the excitement of what had just happened. We wouldn't fall into another one of the Gamemakers' traps. At least, not the ones that we already knew. Wiress was still jumping happily. Johanna wore a bored scowl.

"Oh, now you know things are bad if she's starting to agree with Nuts," Johanna sneered.

"She's a genius," I snarled.

"Sure. Pregnancy brain getting to you?" Johanna asked with a little sneer.

For the first time since seeing him meet up with her, I saw a hint of anger flash through Finnick's eyes, in regard to her comment. "Shut your mouth, Johanna," Finnick snapped.

Now I was very grateful that I hadn't killed him earlier. Finnick and I exchanged a grin and laughed under our breaths. Johanna looked furious that we were making her the butt of some silent joke. As I turned back to Finnick I smiled. He had saved Cato. He had helped us out in the fog and with the monkeys. I was now thinking that maybe Finnick Odair really was all right. At least not as vain or self-important as I still sometimes thought that he was. Not so bad at all, really. Just as I had come to that conclusion, a parachute landed next to us with a fresh loaf of bread.

To the others it would eventually seem like it was just because we were smart enough to figure out the layout of the arena. But to me, I realized the whole truth. Because I remembered the way that I communicated with Haymitch in the arena last year. Through the notes. Haymitch was here now but we couldn't outright speak with each other or else we would risk alerting the others to our plans. At least, Johanna and Enobaria. Clearly he had taught Effie his method of communicating.

The message right now was clear enough. _Continue being friends with Finnick. I'll help feed you_. Finnick turned the bread over in his hands, examining the crust. A bit too possessively. It wasn't necessary. It had that green tint from seaweed that the bread from District 4 always had. We all knew it was his. Maybe he had just realized how precious it was, and that he may never see another loaf again. Maybe some memory of Mags was associated with the crust.

But all he said was, "This will go well with some shellfish. Now, would you like to tell us what this is all about, Aspen?"

"It's Wiress. She's not doing the tick tock thing because she's nuts or under stress or anything like that," I said.

It didn't appear that anyone believed that Wiress was saying tick tock for any good reason. "So what's she doing it for?" Beetee asked.

At least he was willing to listen. "She figured out the layout of the arena," I told them.

My comment went right over their heads. No one understood what I meant about the layout of the arena. "It's just an arena, Aspen. Just like it always is," Haymitch said.

"No. It isn't. There's a trick," I said.

"This time it's just a little more dangerous. But we knew that it was going to be that way with the Quarter Quell," Haymitch said.

They were patronizing me, thinking that there was something wrong with me from spending time with Wiress. "They're right. You need to get out of the sunlight for a while. You're exhausted, probably still dehydrated, and hungry," Enobaria said.

"I'm not stupid, though. I know what's going on," I snapped.

"All of this isn't good for you. Or the baby," Enobaria continued.

Her eyes gave a little twinkle and I noticed Cato stiffen next to me. They all knew the truth. I knew that. For whatever reason, no one had actually spilled it. As far as I knew, the Capitol still believed that if I lived through this thing I would be having a little Cato or Aspen in nine months. That would be hard to explain. But it wouldn't be me coming out of here. Because I wasn't going to let that happen. And I had a feeling that letting me out of the arena, alive, was the last thing that President Snow wanted.

"No, you have to listen to me -" I started before being cut off.

Johanna stepped forward and threw her axe out to the side. "Someone shut her up!" she snarled.

This time it wasn't Finnick or me that had to come to my defense. It was Cato. He stepped forward with his sword held tightly in his hand. "Lay off of her," Cato growled as he walked up.

Cato towered over Johanna but she didn't look the least bit bothered. She was way too tough for someone her size. Of course, the same could be said for myself. "Oh, look who's growing a backbone and ready to fight for his wife," Johanna snarled.

"You're outnumbered here, in case you forgot. And I'll break your neck," Cato growled.

"Like you did the little boy from Three?" I twitched, but Cato didn't. "Come on. Just a year ago... What was happening? Oh, that's right, you were trying to kill her!" Johanna shouted.

He was going to kill her. I was absolutely positive that Cato was going to walk over and shove his sword through Johanna's throat. Although I saw that Johanna's hands were twitching around her axe handle. _Absolutely not_. She was not going to kill him. My hand tightened around my bow and I debated on just ending things with Johanna right now. Before Cato got the chance to say anything back, I walked over and roughly shoved against her chest.

"What the hell is your problem?" I shouted.

"My problem is you!" Johanna shouted back.

"I'm trying to help! Wiress has been trying to help!" I howled. Her teeth were grinding tightly together but she managed to keep herself in check. "Now I finally figured out what she wanted to say and you -"

"I, what?" Johanna snapped.

Why did people keep interrupting me? "If you'd let me finish my damned thought for once -"

"Saved your little friends? I've helped - with everyone else out here, no matter the personal cost - keep you -" she ranted.

"Johanna!" Haymitch shouted, looking rather frantic.

"Enough," Finnick snarled.

"I think that you're the one that needs to get out of the sun," Haymitch told her.

Just a second later he wrapped his hand around her arm and shoved her backwards, away from the rest of us. The breathing patterns of the alliance were ragged and tense. I could imagine that the entire Capitol was watching from the edges of their seats. Now I knew how the Careers always ended up fighting with each other. Alliances like this were too big, too many people, with too many different personalities, all knowing that all but one of them would be dead.

But my thoughts were quickly turned from the alliance to what was happening with Johanna. She hadn't moved but she was still giving me a nasty snarl, like she was ready to pounce forward and kill me at any given second. What the hell was that about? I turned back to the other members of the alliance but they were all shifting around as if nothing had happened that was mildly out of the ordinary. Like Johanna hadn't just said that she had done something for me. What did that even mean?

The only other person that looked the least bit surprised by her words was Cato. _Of course. They're hiding something from us. But what?_ I didn't like the way that Haymitch had clammed up like that either. He was usually good about keeping things from me, as he always had done, but this seemed like the one thing that he couldn't keep from me. This was big and I didn't like it. While I was in my thoughts, everyone was still chattering away around me. Wiress had gone back to tick-tocking.

"Everyone, shut up," Cato finally snapped.

Everyone silenced themselves, even Johanna and Haymitch, who had been in a heated whispering competition. "Calm down. Now," Beetee ordered softly.

"What did you want to say, Aspen?" Cato asked, once we had all calmed down.

"The arena," I said softly. "Wiress has been doing the tick tock because that's the way that the arena is designed."

Clearly it still wasn't registering with anyone, what the trick to the arena was this year. "I don't get it," Enobaria finally said.

Under my breath, I huffed. But I didn't say anything out loud. I just let my nasty thoughts roll through my head. _Of course you don't._ It was stereotypical of the Careers to not understand anything more than how to swing a sword around. But I had to play nice here. Enobaria was outnumbered so she wouldn't do anything, at least, I hoped she wouldn't, but that didn't mean that I was stupid enough to snap at her. Not with the already tense air.

"Neither did I. Until Wiress started repeating it and I got to looking around the arena. It makes sense. The arena is a clock!" I said excitedly, motioning all around us.

The looks that were exchanged all around us were blank and I rolled my eyes. If I had figured it out, they could have figured it out themselves. Beetee was the only one that looked like he understood what I was saying. He was muttering under his breath and looking around the rest of the arena. He was slowly starting to nod and smile. He knew what I was talking about. Clearly no one else did. How was I now the third-smartest person in the alliance?

"What?" Haymitch asked.

"A clock?" Johanna asked, disbelievingly. It was probably the nicest thing that she'd said to me since meeting her.

"Yeah. Think about it. Do you remember the gongs from last night?" I asked.

If they thought about it, I knew that it would make perfect sense. "I didn't hear any gongs," Haymitch said.

The gongs weren't that loud. It was just because I was awake that I had heard them. Even the cannons were louder. "Of course not, you were asleep," I told him.

To my surprise, it was Johanna that stepped to my defense. "No. But I heard them," Johanna said.

She must have been awake when the other two were sleeping. Well, three... Blight would have still been alive. "You did?" I asked hopefully.

"It was right before the blood rain started," Johanna said.

"Yes. I saw the rain. We weren't that far from the edge of the sector. I thought that it was just normal rain. But it wasn't coming over to our side because we weren't in that sector. Then, about an hour later, the poison fog started. I thought that the fog was from the rain. But it was just a triggered attack," I explained.

"Very good," Beetee said slowly.

That only added to the theory that the arena was a clock. "Exactly. Look at all of these," I said, motioning to the sandy walkways that were on one side of each spoke. In between each sandy lane the two spokes still sat in their place. I glared at mine for a moment before motioning upwards of the paths. "There are sections of the arena. Those lanes in between our spokes that we started on? They're the separating factor in between the segments. There are twelve segments. Twelve hours."

For a moment I stopped talking to let them count. As I had promised, there were twelve. "There _are_ twelve," Haymitch finally conceded.

"Each section comes twice a day. Remember the fog stopping once we fell over the ridge?" I asked.

"Yes," Cato and Finnick said together.

"We were at the end of the fog and the beginning of the monkeys. They stopped once we hit the beach. Because we were out of their section. Same thing with the mutt. That's why it didn't follow me to the beach," I said.

 _And thankfully it didn't._ "She's right. It's the only thing that makes sense. The arena is a clock," Beetee said.

Now three of us that agreed that the arena was a clock. And two of them were from District 3. That only helped my theory. "You're sure?" Johanna asked after a moment.

Well that was surprisingly civil. I nodded at her before taking a step forward, trying not to look threatening. The last thing that I wanted was to make things worse between us while we were making some good progress. Quickly I explained a little more about how the invisible hands of the clock would trigger a deadly force at the top of each hour. Johanna still didn't look like she wanted to believe me, probably because she was naturally opposed to anything that I said.

"Like me or not, Johanna, the arena is a clock. Look with your eyes and tell me that the arena doesn't appear to be a clock," I said.

She glared at me but looked around the arena with scrutinizing eyes anyways. "I guess it's better to be safe than sorry," she finally muttered.

"She's right. You're both right. It's a clock. It's the only thing that makes sense," Haymitch said.

Slowly we began to move out to a more exposed part of the beach. "It's got to be coming up on nine o'clock soon and we don't know if everything stays contained in the sections or if some move out to the beach," I said.

"Did the rain?" Cato asked.

"Not sure. Couldn't see," Johanna said.

"Look at the sand. No blood. Probably not," I pointed out.

"The fog went pretty far out. It might come out onto the beach," Enobaria said.

"We know that the wave does," Cato said.

"We should move until we come back around to the afternoon," I said.

We were standing right at the nine o'clock sector. If we wanted to ensure that we missed it - no matter what it was - we would have to move. "Yeah. We should move out and figure out what to do from here," Enobaria said.

"Come on. Grab your stuff," I instructed everyone.

"Good eye," Cato said.

"Let's get some water before we move," I said softly.

Something had just occurred to me. "Okay. We're going to get some water. Tap a tree. We'll be right back," Cato said.

"Hurry up. We're leaving in a few minutes," Haymitch called.

The two of us headed straight back into the jungle. We were close enough so that the others could have seen us. They would have just had to look back. I wanted to make sure that they thought that we were just chatting. I wanted them to think that I wasn't getting suspicious of something else. Cato slowly started to tap the tree, taking the spile from me, as I held out my bow and arrow, just in case one of the Careers spotted us.

"Come here," I whispered to Cato as the water began to fill the baskets.

He glanced at me as I pulled him in for a kiss. "What's this?" Cato asked, chuckling against my lips.

"Stay here. Don't move. Act happy. I have to tell you something."

"Okay," Cato said, forcing a smile.

"Knock it off!" Haymitch shouted from the beach.

"Leave them alone. Let them have a few minutes," Finnick offered.

"Let her get her hormones back in check," Johanna sneered.

At least they were going to keep playing the pregnancy card for me. "I think someone already knew about the arena," I whispered.

"Of course. The Gamemakers," Cato said.

"No. No. Remember that day at the end of the Victory Tour? We were in President Snow's house for the party."

"Of course."

"I danced with Plutarch Heavensbee."

"I remember."

"Midnight," Wiress chirped from the beach.

"It starts at midnight," I whispered.

"What does that mean?" Cato asked.

"It's what Plutarch Heavensbee told me during our dance," I said.

The memory struggled to surface in my brain. I saw a clock. No, it was a watch, resting in Plutarch Heavensbee's palm. He had said it and then my Mockingjay lit up briefly and vanished. In retrospect, it was like he was giving me a clue about the arena. But why would he? At the time, I was no more a Tribute in these Games than he was. Maybe he thought it would help me as a Mentor. Or maybe this had been the plan all along. Had he known all of those months ago? I recounted the whole conversation to Cato.

"Could he have been tipping me off to the arena?" I asked.

"That was months ago," Cato said.

"It's the Quarter Quell. They likely have known about this arena for years. And Plutarch had said that arenas weren't built in a day. He said that the flavor of the Games was being determined then. Maybe the Victors coming back? It's just... It seems too much of a coincidence," I said.

"But, Aspen," Cato muttered.

"It has to be the truth. I don't like thinking that things just happen. They knew about the arena. He must have known about the twist. He was... I don't know. Was he tipping me off?"

"You're serious that he said that the Capitol was appalling? To make the Games mean something?"

"Yes."

"And with everything that you did in private training. He smiled and gave you a twelve. Maybe he really is impressed with you. Maybe he wants to root for you in a quieter way," Cato offered.

"He can't just outright say anything, so it could be the truth," I muttered.

"It would be almost impossible to tell."

"What do you think?"

"I think that it's a definite possibility. Plutarch seemed to like you."

"But?" I asked, sensing that he wanted to say something else.

"But the Capitol stays up late. We've said it before. It could just be a funny coincidence."

"We've both been through way too much to think that this could be a coincidence."

"He could have been killed for what he said to you," Cato said.

There was still something so strange about this whole thing. "He asked me to keep in a secret. Said that the meeting was secret but said that he could trust me. And I told him that his secret was safe with me," I explained.

"You're thinking that they're rooting for you, then?"

"I don't know. But I don't think that his words and the arena's design are a coincidence. I don't think anything that's happening is a design. The Morphling saved you. Johanna got Beetee and Wiress out for me. What the hell is happening?" I asked.

"I'm not sure, Aspen. But let's just take it as it goes for now, okay?"

"Okay," I said, not enjoying it.

"In the meantime, how about we make this position useful?" Cato offered.

It was the same thing that he had said to me last year when he had trapped me after killing the girl from District 8. Literally a year ago today. I laughed as Cato pressed me back into the tree and pressed a lingering kiss against my lips. Minutes, maybe hours, maybe days passed as he clung tighter and tighter to me. Desperately, almost like if he let go he would lose me. We only separated when Haymitch started barking at me that we had better things to do doing, not each other.

So Cato and I laughed as we finished collecting the water. Afterwards we all nodded at each other and began to grab our things. Unlike last year, no one had packs or anything of the sort. There was nothing like that in the Cornucopia. Enobaria strapped her sword onto herself and I made sure to secure my bow over my back. For just a moment I didn't want it in my hands. It felt like it had become an extension of me, and I wasn't sure if I liked that feeling.

Haymitch had one of the baskets that Finnick had made that was full of oysters. The other one that had mostly raw fish that Finnick had speared. Beetee was carrying the basket with the bird meat. We hadn't given Wiress anything, just in case she had an episode. Cato was carrying the spare basket with the water in it. He was still holding his sword and I smiled at him. He wasn't a Career anymore but he would always appear as one.

After a moment I made sure to attach the spile and medicine tubes to the belt that I was still wearing. Our spare weapons were distributed between Finnick and Johanna, with myself having grabbed the third pack of arrows that Cato had been possessing earlier along with the ones that Effie had sent. I noticed that each time Johanna spun her axe, she would aim it towards me. Once we had everything together, we walked off. We only left a few things that we wouldn't be needing again.

As we walked, Beetee - who I had noticed had become somewhat comatose since we had decided to leave - began to stir. I assumed that the pain from being stabbed in the back had returned. He was very, very, out of it. I felt terribly for him. If only I would have known about the wire. I could have taken it for him. Cato handed off the water basket to Wiress and ended up trying to pick up Beetee to bring him with us, since it didn't look like he could walk.

"Wait. Wire," Beetee moaned weakly.

"Cato, get him more of the medicine," I said, tossing him the bottle of pills that had come with Effie's cream for the poison fog.

"Come on, Beetee. Take the pill. It'll help with the pain and internal bleeding," Cato goaded.

"We'll get you some water with it," Finnick said.

"Wiress is fine, she's up here with us," I called back, to try and reassure him.

Johanna shook her head and motioned back to the jungle floor. "That's not what he wants. He wants the wire. I don't know what kind of weapon it's supposed to be. I guess you could pull off a piece and use it as a garrote or something. But really, can you imagine Beetee garroting somebody?" Johanna asked.

At one point I had thought that she wasn't that cruel. But now I realized that she was. The thought of strangling someone had brought forward a little laugh from her mouth. Immediately I walked over to pick up the wire and tried to brush off Johanna's thoughts. In the back of my mind, I knew that she was right. Beetee wouldn't do that. But if it was that important to Beetee, I would make sure that we had the wire. As I walked I cringed slightly at Johanna's laughter.

She was no Career but sometimes she sounded just like them. Something about the way that she had so simply suggested that the wire could be used to strangle someone to death. Especially Beetee, who didn't have a cruel bone in his body. Although the cold part of me - the one that may have been more Career-like than Cato - realized that the wire was too thin to make a garrote. It was break before actually becoming lethal. Cato's voice startled me out of my thoughts.

"He won his Games with wire. Setting up that electrical trap," Cato said. I narrowed my eyes. She had to know that. "It's the best weapon he could have."

Part of me wanted to slap him. How stupid was he? She was a Victor and so was he. For the most part - at least for the big Victors - we all knew what they had done. She had to know how he won. Everyone did. Just like the way that everyone else was acting, Johanna seemed suspicious. There was something very odd about her not knowing how he won. Things were very tense in these Games and I wasn't at all fond of them. I almost missed the hours and hours of isolation in the Games last year.

"Seems like you'd have figured that out. Since you nicknamed him Volts and all," I growled.

Johanna whipped around with a cruel sneer on her face. "Yeah, that was really stupid of me, wasn't it? I guess I must have been distracted by keeping your little friends alive. While you were... what, again?" Johanna asked. I ground my teeth together, knowing that this wasn't anything nice. "Getting Mags killed off?"

That time I couldn't control it. What the hell had she just told me? "What the hell did you just say to me?" I asked, advancing quickly.

My fingers tightened on the knife handle at my belt. It was digging into my hand. Johanna noticed where my hand was waiting. I could do it. Off her right now. She was a good fighter but I could manage it. Stab her in between the eyes. Either throw the knife or bowl her over. I wouldn't be fast enough to reach for an arrow. She would be able to bury the axe through my chest before I could. At least Cato would kill her for vengeance.

"Go ahead. Try it. I don't care if you are knocked up, I'll rip your throat out," Johanna snarled.

 _Right. You're pregnant, you fool, try and act like it._ Still, I knew that if I had really wanted to, I could have had the knife in between her eyes before she could make a move. I knew that I couldn't kill her right now. But it was just a matter of time with Johanna and me. Before one of us offed the other. Finnick stepped into the picture and gently pushed the two of us away from each other. He was shooting me a look that told me to drop it.

"Maybe we all had better be careful where we step. There's your wire, Volts," Finnick said, handing Beetee over the wire, prying it gently from my hands. "Watch where you plug it."

"Where to?" Cato asked, trying to distract us all from the tense air.

We had to figure out somewhere to go that was mildly safe. But there was nowhere to go. The jungle was dangerous and the beach was too out in the open. Even if the active sector wasn't the one that we were in, there was still a good chance that something dangerous would be lingering around. At least no one would be bored. Not in the Capitol. They would have no reason to alter the Games. We were being plenty entertaining for everyone right now.

"If Aspen and Wiress are right about the arena being a clock - which I'm sure that you both are - we need to know for a fact. We can head over to the Cornucopia and watch. We should be getting close to one of the hours," Finnick voiced.

"Let's do it," I said.

It seemed to be as good a plan as any. Besides, I wouldn't mind the chance of going over the weapons again. There was a good chance that they had been picked through, but I wanted to see if I could find anything. And there were a whopping eight of us now. Cato, Enobaria, Wiress, Beetee, Finnick, Johanna, Haymitch, and me. That was more than the Career pack almost ever had, with the exception of a few years with some marvelous fighters and the Second Quarter Quell.

Even if you counted Beetee and Wiress out, we still had five good fighters. Haymitch was somewhere in the middle. Cato and Enobaria were strong with the sword. I was talented beyond belief with my bow and arrows and knives. Finnick never missed with his trident and Johanna was deadly with the axe. Even Haymitch was damned good with the knife. It was so different from where I was last year at this point, doing almost everything on my own. It was great to have allies as long as you could ignore the thought that you would have to kill them.

Cato, having been a Career, was used to those kind of thoughts. It likely wouldn't bother him. It would more than it did last year. Clove would have bugged him a little but it wouldn't break him. This year was much harder. Because we all knew each other. And we were together. Beetee and Wiress would luckily probably find some way to die on their own. If we had to run from something, how far would they manage to get?

Johanna and Enobaria, frankly, I could easily kill if it came down to protecting Cato. Or maybe even just to shut the two of them up. Cato would probably take Enobaria, even though they were friends. I would gladly take Johanna. Maybe Cato would help me kill her. He didn't seem to like her either. What I really needed was for someone to take out Finnick and Haymitch for me, since I didn't think that I could do it personally. Not after all the two of them had done for Cato.

Haymitch had promised me that he would help me get Cato out of the arena, but there was always a chance that he could go back on his word. Was there a chance that he would? I didn't want to think so. But he was like my father... I didn't want to kill him. And Finnick was my friend. I thought about maneuvering them into some kind of encounter with the Careers. It was cold, I knew that much. But what were my options? Now that we knew about the clock, they probably wouldn't die in the jungle, so someone was going to have to kill them in battle.

Because the whole situation was so repellent to think about, my mind frantically tried to change topics. I didn't want to think about having to kill people that had become like family to me over the last year. But the only thing that distracted me from my current situation was fantasizing about killing President Snow. In some very creative ways that even the Gamemakers couldn't picture. Not very pretty daydreams for a nineteen-year-old girl, I guessed, but very satisfying.

We walked down the nearest sand and rock strip, approaching the Cornucopia with care, just in case the Careers were concealed there. I doubted that they were, because we had already been on the beach for hours and there had been no sign of life. They were likely in the woods, in some area that hadn't been affected by the clock yet. Maybe it we were lucky the clock would kill them. The area was abandoned, as I expected. Only the big golden horn and the picked-over pile of weapons remained.

As we walked closer, I fell behind and into step with Cato. "I don't get it," I muttered softly.

Cato was starting to limp. His leg really must have been bothering him. "Don't get, what?" he asked.

"Too many things aren't adding up, Cato. Listen to what Johanna's said. She got Wiress and Beetee out for me. She knows about me and she hasn't spilled the beans yet," I said, keeping that part low. The Capitol would be pissed if they found out that I wasn't really pregnant. "She just said something about keeping me. Keeping me, what? What did she mean? And the Cornucopia. There were only weapons. There was one medical kit that was hidden and the one coil. Why would that have been in there?"

There were so many questions that the others weren't asking. Cato simply wasn't as detail-oriented as I was. But the rest of them... They knew something. I knew that they did. There was no way. The way that they were all snapping at each other and making sure that they didn't say too much. And Johanna was cruel but she was smart. The way that she was speaking. It was like she was angrier at me than for just getting her landed back into the arena.

"Like Johanna said, you could use it for garroting someone," Cato said.

Shaking my head, I motioned to the coil that Beetee was still holding. "Use your head," I snapped, slightly meaner than I'd meant.

"What?" Cato asked, exasperatedly.

I leaned over to press a small kiss against his shoulder. "That wire would break. It's too thin. No, that wire is designed to carry an electrical current," I said.

"You're sure?" Cato asked.

"Relatively."

"Do you know anything about electrical material?"

"Not really but I did chat with them for a while about it in the Training Center. I just know that the wire is too thin to be a weapon. Someone left it there so that Beetee would find it."

Cato looked a little confused. Not that I blamed him. I knew that things weren't right, but I didn't understand. "So you think that they're rooting for Beetee?" Cato finally asked.

 _No way._ They wanted either Gloss, Cashmere, or Enobaria to win. Not us. "I have no clue what I'm thinking. But I think that the coil wasn't placed there by accident or by chance. It got in there because someone wanted it in there," I said.

"Well, it is Beetee's weapon," Cato said.

"I meant things with a pointy end."

Cato let out a deep breath. "These Games are a whole lot more complicated than last years," he said.

Slowly I smiled as we walked up to the Cornucopia. Most of the weapons were still there. Only the things that had been taken after the initial Bloodbath were gone. Everything else remained. As we walked up I saw that there was most definitely nothing like survival skills in the mouth of the horn. Everyone else went to working. Some were looking through weapons and others were placing our things out on the ground. Not that we wouldn't have to pick them back up a moment later.

"Can you clean this?" Beetee asked Wiress.

He handed her the coil that was stained with blood from the rain earlier. She nodded and darted off to the water where she began to hum a tune that sounded like it was for children. Something about a mouse running up a clock. It was a cute little tune. Johanna groaned as she went to grabbing another few axes and knives. I was poking around in the mouth, picking up a few spare packs of arrows. There were about five in each. Not much but better than nothing.

"Oh, not the song again. That went on for hours before she started tick- tocking," Johanna groaned.

Suddenly Wiress stood up very straight and pointed off to the jungle. "Nine," she said.

Was it another one of her warnings? I wasn't quite sure. But I was determined to figure it out. So I walked out of the mouth of the Cornucopia and looked off into the distance with the rest of the alliance. I followed her finger to where the wall of trees had begun to shake. Something like a natural disaster was out there. Maybe an earthquake. Something that I was sure was dangerous and would likely kill us. Everyone else seemed busy trying to figure out what it was, just like me.

"Yes, look, Wiress is right. It's nine o'clock and something's going on out there. Earthquake, maybe?" I asked.

Finnick came to stand next to me. "That's what it looks like. We should definitely stay away from that one," he said.

Just like the tsunami and fog, an earthquake would be tough to live through. We needed to avoid the natural disaster sections. "Like clockwork," Cato said.

"Funny," I teased.

He grinned at me and then turned to walk over to where Wiress was kneeling. "You were very smart to figure that out, Wiress," he told her.

She smiled brightly and I couldn't help but to smile as she chirped at him. That was exactly the type of man that I knew that Cato was. He wasn't the horrible Career that he made himself to be. Maybe it was all an act. Maybe it was who he was until someone came around to bring out the real him. It didn't matter. This was who he really was and I loved it. Cato was the type of man that I'd always wanted as a husband. And I had him - albeit only for a few days.

"Oh, she's more than smart. She's intuitive. She can sense things before anyone else. Like a canary in one of your coal mines," Beetee said, looking over to me.

One of my eyebrows raised. I wasn't aware that anyone knew about the canaries in District 12 except for our residents. "You know about those?" I asked.

Cato looked totally lost. Beetee smiled at me. "I do. We used to tell stories about them," Beetee said.

Some part of me found that rather sweet. A way to connect us, even when the Capitol tried so hard to keep us apart. "Did you?" I asked.

"Yes. They live in District 3 as well, but there aren't nearly as many of them. And we can't use them," Beetee said.

"I imagine you all don't spend much time outside in District 3," I said.

Beetee gave me another small smile. "You would be imagining correctly."

"What's that?" Finnick finally asked.

Cato looked grateful that someone else had asked. I turned to him and sighed. The canaries brought up some painful memories. "It's a bird that we take down into the mines to warn us if there's bad air," I explained, as simply as possible.

"Bad air?" Cato asked.

Slowly I nodded at him. He really didn't know anything about mining. "Yeah. Like if there's a gas leak or something dangerous down in the mines," I said.

"They know?" Enobaria asked.

"Yeah. If it seems like there might be a collapse, the birds will know. They send them down every morning. We make sure that they keep singing to us until they come back up," I explained.

Johanna had now moved forward to listen in on the conversation. Haymitch seemed to be listening and I almost wanted to ask if his parents had been miners. I didn't really know anything about his childhood. But I knew that now was the wrong time. Maybe we could speak about it in hell. But Haymitch was the only one who knew what I was talking about, save Beetee and Wiress. Johanna, Finnick, Cato, and Enobaria were totally lost.

"And if there is bad air? What's it do, die?" Johanna asked.

"It stops singing first. That's when you should get out. But if the air's too bad, it dies, yes. And so do you," I said.

The remembrance of our mines and the way that they worked shot a shiver over my spine. I didn't want to talk about dying songbirds. They brought up thoughts of Mr. Everdeen and Rue and Maysilee Donner's death and Ms. Everdeen inheriting her songbird. _Oh, great_. Now I was thinking of Gale, deep down in that horrible mine, with President Snow's threat hanging over his head. So easy to make it look like an accident down there. A silent canary, a spark, and nothing more. I went back to imagining killing President Snow.

But Cato's words broke me from my reverie. "Is that...?" Cato asked, trailing off.

"That's what killed Katniss and Prim's Dad. Gale's too," I said softly.

 _Sorry Katniss. Sorry Prim. Sorry Gale._ Cato looked slightly surprised. "It did?" Cato asked.

Then suddenly I realized that Cato knew about what we had done last year. He knew how Haymitch and I had conversed through the Sponsor gifts and knew that he had chosen me. They had all chosen me. And he knew what he was doing right now. Manipulating the Sponsors from pity. He knew the story, but the others didn't, and neither did the viewers. The other members of the alliance went back to walking around the Cornucopia. They knew that this had turned to a private conversation but they were listening in. I knew that they were. And this was more for the Sponsors anyways.

"Yeah. A long time ago. I was thirteen when her father died. Gale was thirteen when his father died, too. They were both like fathers to me. Katniss was eleven. Prim was six. Their fathers were coal miners. The birds couldn't warn them in time. There was a gas leak and an explosion. It wasn't just them. It killed a lot of the miners," I explained.

Cato sighed and walked over to me. He wrapped me in a hug and planted a small kiss on my lips. I gently pushed him away from me. It seemed too wrong in the moment. And it seemed wrong to continue acting the way that we were. Married, like everything was going to have a happy ending. Like we were going to have kids and live happily ever after in a world with no Hunger Games. That wasn't the truth though. I was going to die and Cato would manage to move on.

Unfortunately he would live the rest of his life under the Capitol's thumb, but at least he'd be alive. The Sponsors hadn't come forward yet and my stomach was growling. I wanted to at least be full for the last few days of my life. So I groaned and knew that it would take more than that. Cato looked a little disappointed, too. I let out a little breath as Cato ran a hand over my cheek. He was too good to die anyways. Alive and under the Capitol's thumb was better than dead. That was the only part that mattered.

"I'm sorry to hear that. You were close to him?" Cato asked - referring to Katniss and Prim's father.

"I was. Sometimes I think that Katniss and I are both carbon copies of him. He loved music and dancing. He taught me to dance. Katniss used to sit and watch us because she refused to get up and dance too," I explained.

I liked to think that back home Katniss was giving the screen a bitter smile. "Was she good?" Cato asked.

"Oh, no. She was awful. He taught us both how to use the bow and he taught me to throw knives. When he died, Katniss and I stepped up with Gale to provide for our families."

"That's a lot for two thirteen year olds and one eleven year old to do," Cato said.

That was true. It was a lot of responsibility, but it was something that we'd needed to do. It was the only way to ensure that we didn't die. "That's why they're like family. We always did so much for each other. There was nothing that we weren't willing to do to make sure that we didn't lose any more of us," I said.

"What about Gale's family?" Cato asked.

"Gale has two brothers and one sister. All younger. We had to support them, too. We all worked together," I told him.

Cato's family loved each other just as much as mine did. But it was a different kind of love. They loved each other because they were family. They loved each other because they were linked by blood. Gale, Katniss, and I loved each other because we were the ones to help each other live. Because we were family, no matter that we didn't share blood. Not that the Capitol knew that. As far as they were concerned, Gale was still just my cousin.

"It's nice. District 12 seems like one, big, family. District 2, I mean, there are friends and we all know each other, but I don't know that many people that would be willing to work together and die for each other," Cato said.

I was slightly surprised that he had confessed that. "I guess that's what happens when you live in a place like District 12. If we don't rely on each other, we die. It's as simple as that. We have to work together. Through the years we've just learned to enjoy it," I said.

We all worked together to make sure that we lived. We had just become one, big, family in the process. "I always thought that District 2 was the best. Lately I've seen that I might be wrong," Cato said. I smiled and leaned softly against him.

"It's what you were raised to know. There's no shame in that," I said honestly.

The two of us shared a quick kiss. It was staged for the cameras but Cato slowly tilted my head back and deepened the kiss, making the butterflies erupt all over again. But a small beeping separated the two of us. Just in front of us a Sponsor package had fallen. I smirked into the rocks as I jumped up to see what we had managed to get from the Sponsors. I knew that it would work eventually. There were a few bars of chocolate that would melt quickly unless we ate them. I knew from Ms. Everdeen that it was a food that pregnant women craved. I pulled out the note a second later.

 _Actual tears are in my eyes, Girl on Fire -B_

Rolling my eyes, I smirked. "Thanks, Brutus," I called.

"Is that chocolate?" Finnick asked.

"Yeah," I said.

"Pregnant women tend to crave chocolate," Beetee explained.

"That was sweet of the Sponsor," Cato said, grinning at me, but not for the reason that the others thought.

"Some form of comfort," I muttered, feigning sadness. But I knew not to push it too far with the sympathy votes. "Let's split it."

"It's yours," Finnick tried.

"No. It's good to get some sugar in you. All of you. Keep up the energy levels. Come on," I said.

"As generous as a mother already," Johanna snarled.

We glared at each other for a moment before I started breaking the chocolate bar and handing it off. As we all stood together and ate the chocolate, I listened to the song that Wiress was humming. Suddenly I felt a spark of recognition. I knew that song. Somewhere, in the back of my mind, I knew that song. I could just barely remember a voice vaguely similar to my own, singing it to me. A small smile broke over my face. I couldn't believe that I was actually remembering all of this. It had been years.

Seventeen or so, maybe. "Are you alright?" Cato asked, looking concerned.

I turned back to him and smiled. "This song," I said softly.

"Do you know it?" Cato asked, looking serious. He knew that I was no longer manipulating the Sponsors.

"I've never once had any memory of my parents. My mother, anyways, I never met my father. But this song... I know it. I know that I do. My mother used to sing it to me. I remember now. She used to carry me and walk through the Seam, singing it," I said.

Somewhere in the back of my mind I could remember her walking back and forth, singing it to me, as she tried to rock me to sleep. "That, she did," Haymitch said, with a bitter smile.

So he had known her. For more than just the few days before her Games started. "You knew about that?" I asked softly.

Despite the fact that a few of my alliance members were listening to me, I knew that they were trying desperately hard to avoid looking like they were eavesdropping. It wasn't working. I knew that they were all listening. And I knew that everyone in the Capitol was listening, too. They thought that this was lovingly adorable. What they would never know was that this was the one time that I wasn't thinking to manipulate them.

"Who do you think taught her the song?" Haymitch asked, with a small smile.

It was one of the few times that he had actually given me a small that wasn't teasing. "Wiress, can you sing a little louder?" Cato asked, turning away from us.

She nodded before raising her voice just enough so that it carried over to me. "Thank you," I told my husband softly.

It was one of those times that I wondered how he had ever been the cruel Career that I had met a year ago. "I'd sing it for you, but you'd probably stick that arrow through my throat," Cato said.

We both laughed. "I would just laugh at you," I said.

"But?"

"But I might shoot you if you kept singing it."

"I thought so," Cato said.

We smiled at each other again as Cato moved slowly away from me with one last kiss. This one lingered for just a moment longer. But eventually he broke away and gave me a final kiss on the forehead. As much as I would have loved to continue speaking to him and laughing like nothing was wrong, I knew that there were other things that we needed to get done. One of them was combing through everything in the Cornucopia.

There were lots of little things that we could have picked up - and there were a few things that people did pick up. Haymitch grabbed himself another knife and attached it to his belt. Finnick grabbed a small knife and tucked it into his boot. Enobaria found a whetstone and used it for her sword, passing it to Cato a moment later. Beetee and Wiress were without weapons, although I had a feeling that Beetee did have a knife somewhere on him.

Some part of me was glad that Wiress didn't have a weapon. She was still a little on edge and I wasn't sure whether or not it would be wise to let her walk around with something that she could injure either us - or anyone else - with. She was still scrubbing at the wire and singing her song. The wire still had blood on it. My mind briefly wandered into the blood rain section. Where had they gotten the blood from? Was it fake or was it real? I tried to beat back the bit of me that was wondering if they got it from our loved ones.

Despite her annoyance at Wiress, Johanna was as happy as I'd seen her in the arena. It might have been the happiest that I'd ever seen her. While I walked around and added to my stock of arrows and throwing knives, she poked around until she finally came up with a pair of lethal-looking axes. She'd been carrying them on her but I'd never seen her actually use one. She had managed so far with just her words. And they were brutal enough.

I watched out of the corner of my eyes as she threw an axe with such force that it stuck in the hard metal of the Cornucopia. She chuckled softly at her throw and went back to retrieve it. I tried to blink back the image of her throwing the axe into my head. I wouldn't blame her. I'd already imagined shooting an arrow into her eye or throwing a knife through her throat. I felt stupid for not realizing that she would have wanted the axes. She was from District 7. Lumber. I bet that she had been tossing around axes since she could toddle.

In a way it was like Finnick with his trident. He had been using it since he could hold it. The same with Beetee and his wire. He had been around technology since the day that he was born. Rue with her knowledge of plants, too. Everything. Cato and Clove with their knowledge of structures. How they had made the stock pile last year. Glimmer with her poisoned ring - until it had been discovered. Some expensive mixture that they probably had in the Capitol. Thresh with his sword. The same one that they used to cut through the wheat fields. Ethan with his knowledge of how to reactivate the mines.

With a little twinge of hurt I realized that it was just another disadvantage that the District 12 Tributes have faced over the years. We didn't go down in the mines until we were eighteen. If you chose to be a miner. Clearly most of the other Tributes learned something about their trades early on. There were things that you did in a mine that could come in handy in the Games. Wielding a pick. Blowing things up, unless you're me, of course, who already understood how to do that stupid move. It all would give you an edge. Just the way that my hunting did. But we learn them too late. They were Reaped before ever going down into the mines.

Perhaps there was a chance that one or two of the Tributes had actually been miners for a brief while, but nowhere near long enough to defend themselves and figure it out. While I thought and messed with the weapons, Cato had been drawing in the black sand near the mouth of the Cornucopia. For a while he had been squatting on the ground, drawing something with the tip of his sword. As I walked over I realized that it was a rather rough map of the arena layout.

Slowly everyone else came over to stand with us. As we looked over Cato's shoulder I motioned around the drawing. "This entire arena seems to be laid out like a clock with a new threat every hour, but they stay only within their wedge. Unless they come out to the beach. It all starts with the lightning. Then the blood rain, fog, monkeys. That's the first four hours. At six, that big wave hits from over there," I said, motioning to the corresponding section.

Finnick glanced over at where Wiress was standing and smiled at her. "Wiress, you're a genius," Finnick called back, mimicking my words from earlier.

We honestly couldn't believe that we had managed to figure this out. What would have happened if we hadn't figured it out at all? Nothing? Would we have kept getting hit by the horrors from the wedges? I wasn't sure. Wiress smiled again. Cato looked up at the top of the Cornucopia and smiled. He motioned towards the tail that was pointing to the north. Or at least what I thought was the north. Towards the tree, at least.

"Look, the tail points to twelve," Cato said.

There was the large tree that the lightning would strike at twelve and midnight. "He's right. That's how we can keep track of the time. That's where the lightning strikes at noon and midnight," I said.

That seemed to have piqued Beetee's interest in the subject. "Strikes where?" he asked.

Turning over to where the tree was, I pointed it out. It was the tallest tree in the sector and was incredibly hard to miss. "That big tree," I said, motioning over to it.

Beetee nodded. "Good," he said.

What did good mean? Was he planning something? Perhaps to electrocute all of us, just the way that he had done when he was in his Games. If he wanted to do something like that, there was no way that we were going to be able to fight him. If he wanted to do something like that we wouldn't be able to fight him. Unless we could kill him before he actually started the fight.

"Hickory dickory dock. The mouse ran up the clock. The clock struck one, the mouse ran down. Hickory dickory dock," Wiress sang in the background as she continued to clean off the bundle of wire.

Cato began to draw in the sand, marking off each one of the sectors that we knew about. "So twelve to one, lightning. Then one to two is blood. Then fog. And then monkeys," he said, everything that we had already seen.

"Hickory dickory dock. The dog barked at the clock. The clock struck three..."

"What else do we know?" I asked everyone.

We had to know as much as possible. The only thing that was important was that we avoided anywhere that had the most dangerous sections. They were all dangerous, but there were some that we would be able to outrun or outlast. There were others that would prove immediately deadly. Like the fog, monkeys, and Beast. The tsunami, earthquake, and lightning would be best if avoided, too. We definitely couldn't beat the tsunami. Maybe Finnick could.

"We know that four to five is the Beast," I commented.

Johanna and Beetee looked over at me with wide eyes. "The what?" Johanna asked.

"The Beast," I repeated. "That's what we called it. I went out hunting and saw it. It's this big, scorpion, mutation." Her face paled slightly and I saw that Haymitch looked slightly sick. They clearly weren't fans of mutts. "The man from District 10 was caught by it while we were running away. Stay away from that one. And then from six to seven, the wave," I added.

Unfortunately it seemed like just about everywhere that we were going to end up, other than the beach, was dangerous. Perhaps it was a good thing that we were going through Tributes so fast. "We also think that from nine to ten is the earthquake," Enobaria added.

"What about everything else? Did you guys see anything?" I asked Johanna and Beetee.

"Hickory dickory dock."

Anything that we could add would be useful. Something smaller like the blood rain might not be too bad if we needed to hide. It did send shivers up my spine to think about. "Nothing but blood," Johanna commented.

"It doesn't matter," Cato said.

"It definitely matters," I said.

"I know. That's not what I meant. As long as we steer clear of whichever sector is active, we'll be safe," Cato added, sensing the confusion in the area.

Everyone else snorted. "Yeah. Relatively speaking," Finnick said what we were all thinking.

And that was when I realized. Our canary had stopped singing. I moved faster than anyone else had been expecting. A few of my alliance members jumped as I reached for my bow and arrows. _Damn me for putting them away._ Panic settled into my stomach and chest as I turned backwards with my bow loaded. Just as I had been fearing, Gloss was standing over Wiress with her throat already slit by one of his knives. He was shirtless and I aimed straight for the middle of his chest.

 _The cannon hasn't gone off yet. I can still save her._ Letting go of the arrow I watched as it sailed straight forward. Unfortunately Gloss had already seen it coming. He grabbed Wiress's body and yanked her upwards. The arrow went straight through her eye and I screamed loudly as a cannon went off. I had killed her. I killed Wiress... Before I could rear back and shoot him again as he dropped Wiress's body to the side, I was knocked onto the rocks by a heavy force.

 _Cashmere._ She must have been here, too _._ But as I looked up I realized that it wasn't her. It was Enobaria. What the hell? I was so stupid. Of course she was trying to kill me. She had her sword in hand but I was smart enough to know that it was the first thing that I needed to get rid of. She was going to try and kill me with it. She had finally gotten sick of being with us. I had known from day one that she wanted to be with the Careers. It was where she belonged. I should have never trusted her.

She threw a knife down towards my head and I ducked out of the way at the last minute, watching as a few strands of my hair were cut off. I grabbed an arrow out of my pack, accidentally breaking it in half, and shoved the arrowhead into her throat. Right at her jugular. But the arrowhead wasn't long enough. It wasn't fatal. Not unless I could push it in further. While she was preoccupied trying to get the arrowhead out of her throat, I looked around to ensure that everyone else was alright.

Haymitch had his arms around Beetee as he ran off with the other man tucked under his arms. He still hadn't gotten over the knife in the back at the Bloodbath. I knew that Haymitch was trying to protect him. Cashmere was fighting with Johanna, just barely able to fend off her attacks with Johanna's axe. Gloss was in a fight with Cato, and by the looks of it Cato had managed to gouge out one of Gloss's eyes. His hand was also hanging on by a thread, but he was still managing to hang on.

Despite my efforts to push the arrowhead all the way into her throat, she tore it out. She was now trying to sever one of my legs. "What the hell? We're on the same team!" I growled at Enobaria as I kicked her knee out of place.

She howled in pain and raked her nails down my cheek. "That's what you think, Girl on Fire. I'm not dying for this," she hissed.

 _What the hell did that mean?_ She opened her mouth and reached down to clamp her jaws around my neck. _Oh no, fuck that._ Grabbing a small rock, I reached up and threw it into Enobaria's mouth, smashing in a few of her teeth. Some fell out and others were broken. Her blood immediately began to drip down onto my face. She took my moment of shock to use against me. She reached around for her small sword and shoved the tip down into my thigh. I cringed and grunted at the pain.

It hurt like hell but it was worth it. She had now lost her only weapon against me. She attempted to twist the sword out of my thigh but I wasn't going to let her do it that easily. The sword was cutting up bits of muscle and tissue in the thigh as Enobaria and I both fought for it. Attempting to keep her away from me, I reached up and jammed my thumb into the cut that the arrowhead had been in a moment before. She gasped and reeled back as I took that opportunity to grab the sword out of my thigh. Enobaria was fast though and took that opportunity to kick the sword roughly at me.

The edge dug into my boot and cut into my foot, but I let it happen. I would live. As we fought, Enobaria rolled us steadily towards the water. I knew what she was trying to do. She was trying to drown me. Just the way that the boy from District 9 had last year, and the monkeys had last night. What she didn't realize was that she was also driving us right towards Wiress. As she pressed me up against Wiress's body, attempting to throw all of us into the water, I grabbed a fistful of sand.

With as much force as I could, I shoved the sand into her mouth and down her throat. She began to cough and gag as she attempted to get it out. Rolling away from her, I kicked her sword into the water and grabbed my bow, bringing it up and smashing it over her head. She fell to the ground I glanced down to see that there was now a small dent where I had hit her. No cannon though. She wasn't dead. I made my move to finish her off when I saw that Cato was currently in a predicament with Gloss.

Gloss had Cato in a headlock but Cato did still have the advantage. Cato was holding Gloss's hand - that one that was hanging on by a few threads - and was literally attempting to rip it off. There were two options that I had. Take the time to kill Enobaria and risk something happening to Cato, or help him with Gloss. _She's half-dead. She'll be here when I come back._ Real wedding or not, Cato was my husband and I was not risking his life.

Cato managed to grab a small sword that had been thrown from the Cornucopia earlier as we were rifling through the weapons and shove it back into Gloss's shoulder. He finally dropped Cato and kneeled to the rocks slightly. He had a knife in hand as I nocked an arrow and shouted for Cato to move. He ducked out of the way as I fired the arrow. It went straight through Gloss's temple as he fell to the ground, dead. A cannon went off a moment later. Behind me, I could hear Cashmere screaming for her brother. That I had just killed.

 _Oh good, another Career that wants to kill me._ Cashmere came charging at me and I reared back for another arrow. But I never got the chance to fire it. Johanna knocked me to the ground before Cashmere could throw her knife and I gasped. _They aren't all really going to betray me, are they?_ But they weren't. Johanna took one of her axes and threw it into Cashmere's chest. She fell to the ground and rolled slightly, where I saw that the axe had slightly severed her spine. Her cannon boomed loudly.

That was two cannons. Where was the third for Enobaria? I turned back and saw that she was locked in a fight with Finnick. Her head was bleeding profusely, as was her neck. Even if she made it through this fight, she would need some Sponsors. Finnick shoved his trident at her but she rolled out of the way at the last minute. As she rolled past him, she jammed a knife that I hadn't seen before into Finnick's leg. He howled in pain and dropped to the ground.

Quickly I reached for another arrow to fire at her while she moved to finish Finnick off. I should have let her kill him, it would have been easier, but I couldn't. She was smart enough to see me coming. She left Finnick and turned to run past the Cornucopia. I fired an arrow at her, but at the awkward angle I missed. It just barely clipped her arm as she darted off. Despite wanting to follow her and make sure that she was done for, I knew that there were others that we needed to worry about.

And with all of us - and only herself remaining out of the Careers - we would have no problem killing her later. So I darted over to where Haymitch was laying on the ground. He had been stabbed in the leg, seemingly by Cashmere. It was her knife. Finnick tied his forearm covers around his leg to stem the bleeding and I nodded. Everyone else was alright and the two men would live. Beetee gave Haymitch his arm bands to cover the wound on his leg, and, as sick as it made me, I was given Wiress's to cover my leg wound.

I simply had to remind myself that she was already dead. There was no use in letting her keep them when someone else needed them. I took a spot on the ground and groaned. In a moment I would pull out the medicine to take care of the injuries. But I needed a moment. I looked around and grimaced when I saw Wiress's body. Cato was pulling out my arrow from Gloss's head and going to search for the other one that had skimmed by Johanna. Johanna herself was retrieving her axe from Cashmere's chest.

Beetee seemed to be trying to look anywhere but at Wiress's body. Everyone was attempting to forget about what had just happened. Even though Wiress had known about the clock first, she was the one that had been killed. I glanced up from my lap to see a flash of black hair. When I looked again I realized that it was Enobaria approaching Wiress's body. She was attempting to grab the coil. Why the hell was that coil so important? It didn't matter, the only thing that mattered was that I kept it away from her.

I yanked an arrow out of my pack and shouted at Finnick, who was in my way of a clean shot, "Get down!"

He hit the ground as I fired the arrow. Unfortunately it had been a warning to Enobaria too. She dropped as well and the arrow just barely scraped by her cheek. She ducked backwards and broke into a run, forgetting about the coil. As she ran around the Cornucopia - myself following first and the others running after us - she turned back and threw a knife. I ducked out of the way as the knife continued to fly past me, just barely missing Cato and Johanna, who were behind me.

 _Probably should have warned them_. I reached for another arrow and fired as we chased Enobaria through the rocky terrain. The arrow sunk into her lower shin and she dropped to the ground at the edge of one of the rocky pathways. I knew that she was done for. Once I killed her, the Games would be nearing their end. Just as I got within shooting distance of her again, the Cornucopia and segment of land that we were standing on began to spin.

And it wasn't a dream. This was really happening. Something that I had never seen before. It made a large lurch to the side as both Johanna and I were tossed on our backs. Enobaria jumped into the water at the edge of one of the walkways and I quickly lost sight of her as the water was pushed up over the edges of the rocks. I made to follow her, desperate to end her after what she had done to the alliance, but I never got a chance. The rock began to pick up speed.

It was flying through the air as I found myself getting sick. Definitely not good. And definitely not what I was expecting. None of us would have thought that the Cornucopia could actually spin like this. It was the Gamemakers. They wanted Enobaria to win. Or maybe they were hoping that we would fall into the water and drown. Cato took a hard fall near us and I watched as he managed to catch himself between two rocks. _Thank God._ Haymitch fell, too, positioning himself over Beetee to protect the other man.

Johanna collapsed next to me as we both caught ourselves on rocks near each other. Finnick had managed to hook his trident into a rock. I was the closest to the water. Johanna was just a little bit above me. She kept looking down at me as we screamed and tightened our grips, hoping that we wouldn't fall. It was the most desperate that I had seen her since meeting her. As the Cornucopia continued to spin, I felt my grip loosening on the rock.

Unfortunately I didn't have as much of a place to grip on the rocks as the others did. And water was soaking the rock, making it almost impossible to keep my grip. Not to mention that the water was lapping at my feet, dragging me outwards. All around me, I could see that no one wasn't being affected by the sudden torrent of spinning and water. Gloss, Cashmere, and Wiress's bodies were thrown from the rocks and I watched as they hit the ocean roughly.

Just after they had hit, I felt my arms give way. I began to slip from the rocks, crying out desperately for help. But Cato was too far away. I peeled up bits of my fingernails as I attempted to grab another rock to hang onto. But there was no use. There was nothing that I was close enough to actually manage to grab. Just as I slipped towards the edge of the rocks Johanna screamed above me and caught my hand as she dug her axe into the rock, managing to keep both of us safe for now.

She had caught me. _Johanna_ had risked her life to save me. But now was the wrong time to worry about it. Up at the mouth of the Cornucopia, things were starting to be thrown out. The force was pulling everything out. The very sharp and pointy weapons. A rather large box hit Haymitch and I watched as he went flying off to the side and off of Beetee. Thankfully Haymitch got caught in between two rocks and was unable to move any further.

Beetee was thrown backwards towards the water but Finnick launched out of his spot to catch him. Boxes and weapons were being thrown from the Cornucopia and I watched as Cato rolled back and forth, just barely able to dodge them. At least he hadn't been hit. That was all that mattered. My hand was beginning to slip from Johanna's grasp with the water continuing to soak us. Johanna looked panicked as she fought to grab me.

"Come on! Come on! Hold on! No!" Johanna shouted as my hand finally gave way.

Johanna tried to reach out and grab me again, but it was too late. My grip failed and I went flying backward into the water. Just before I went under the water I threw back one last, pleading, look with Johanna. But we both knew that it was too late. I went flying backwards into the water, unable to catch myself on anything else. Johanna tried to grab at me still. Her desperate face was the last thing that I saw. When I smacked into the water, it felt like I was hitting a concrete pathway in the Capitol.

The Cornucopia was still spinning over me, keeping me from righting myself. One of the walkways that was spinning whacked me in the head and I groaned. Any breath that I'd had in me before falling into the water went right back out of me. My head was cut open by the sharp edges of the rocks and I groaned as blood began to seep from the wound. I tried to resurface desperately but I couldn't. Nothing was working, no matter how hard I tried. The water was being thrown around and I couldn't bring myself up.

With the walkways still spinning, I wasn't willing to risk getting cut in half. The water continued to throw me over myself as water invaded my lungs. I was going to die. Suddenly - as fast as it had started - the Cornucopia stopped spinning and the water settled above me. I swam weakly to the surface and sucked in a desperate breath, swallowing more of the water. Hopefully it wasn't poisonous. I swam over to the edge of the rocks of the Cornucopia and pushed myself out of the water.

My breaths were coming in heaving gasps as I attempted to climb back up onto the rocks. _Why the hell did it stopped spinning?_ I dropped onto the ground roughly and right into Cato's arms. He grabbed me and pulled me up the rest of the way, wrapping someone's sleeves - I wasn't sure whose - around my head. I leaned over onto the rocks and vomited up water. Everyone had crowded around me - all looking slightly sick - but I pushed them away. I would live. Cato was the only one that didn't move away from me.

He pushed my wet hair away from my face as I breathed heavily into my knees. "Are you alright? Are you alright?" Cato asked.

"Yeah. Yeah, I'm fine," I told him.

"The wire," I said, looking up to see if I could find the wire.

Wiress had last had it. And if Enobaria had wanted the wire so desperately I knew that it was important. So where was it? Beetee wasn't holding it. "What?" Cato asked.

"Where'd the wire go?" I repeated.

Now everyone had crowded back around me. Beetee was slightly concerned as he looked for the wire. "What?" Cato repeated.

"The wire. The wire that Beetee was carrying. Where is it?" I asked desperately.

Cato looked around the ground for a moment before shaking his head. "I don't - I don't know," Cato said.

Where the hell had it gone? I glanced out into the water to see if it had been thrown out with us. _Damn it, it will be at the bottom by now._ But for once, luck was on our side. Even in death, Wiress was protecting the coil. It was bound tightly in her hands. I ran over to the edge and leaned down. Cato caught me around the hips with a worried look. And he wasn't concerned because of an unborn baby. He was concerned because I was hurting and desperate.

"You're sure that's such a good idea?" Cato asked.

"If he needs it, we need it. Cover me," I said.

"Hand me the bow. I got you," Cato said.

If Enobaria had stayed around here, I knew that I was probably one of her first targets. Despite what had just happened to me in the water, I pushed it out of my mind. There had been a number of injuries that I had sustained in water. I would manage myself just fine. I knew what I needed to do. There was no one around to drown me this time. And the only other strong swimmer we had was Finnick, but we couldn't risk him going into the water with a leg that was barely functional.

It had to be me to go and retrieve the wire. Finnick was holding his trident and Johanna, her axe, as I walked over to the edge. My stomach roiled slightly and I knew that it wasn't because of the spinning. It was because of what I was going to have to do. I tossed my weapons over to Cato - wanting as little to slow me down as possible - and ran. Maybe I was a fast swimmer, but I was a faster runner. And I needed to be as fast as possible.

The Capitol would be coming to collect her body and I knew that whoever was in that hovercraft was not on our side. They were going to take the coil. They knew that it meant something to us. I darted up the closest strip of rocks and sprinted out towards the water. She was pretty far out there. As I reached as close as I could to her without having to dive into the water, I took a running jump into the water. Out of the corner of my eyes I could see the hovercraft coming to collect her body. And the coil with it. _No._

As I jumped into the water and began to pump my legs I could see the claw diving down to collect her. It might be dangerous for me, and they might try to execute me for it, but I was going to get there before they could. Without bothering to look and see how close I was, I kept swimming and wound up slamming headfirst into her body. I came up with a gasping breath and tried to avoid swallowing any of the bloody water. That was the last thing that I wanted. I already had the memory of being the one to kill her. Accident or not, it was miserable.

Glancing over at her, I saw that there was a large, open, wound on her neck. Part of me was trying to convince myself that she would have died from the wound, no matter what I did. She was floating on her back, staring face-up at the sun. Her belt was the only reason that she hadn't been dragged under by the waves. The Gamemakers didn't know it, but they had actually done something that was going to help Cato win. The hovercraft was whipping the water around me as I had to tread the water.

Her grip on the wire was so tight that I had to pry it from her hands. It almost reminded me of having to wrench the bow and arrows away from Glimmer's bloated body last year. Having to break her fingers with the rock. Finally she let go of the coil and I attached it to my belt. Once I had it attached to me, I closed her eyelids and whispered a small goodbye. The arm was dropping towards her and I swam away. It was going to be too dangerous for me to stay out here with her.

They would definitely kill me if they got the chance. I began to swim back over towards the Cornucopia, trying to block out the thought that it would start spinning again. I finally reached the land and pulled myself up, glancing back to see that Wiress's body was gone. But her blood was still a lingering taste in my mouth. Cato grabbed my arm and helped me pull myself back up onto the land. I unhooked the coil of wire and walked over to Beetee, handing it over to him.

"Here you go," I said.

Beetee looked up at me and smiled. "Thank you."

Unable to say anything else, and knowing that he was mourning over what had happened with Wiress, I nodded at him and walked away, dropping into the black sand. Was he upset with me because of Wiress? No. He was probably smart enough to know that I was trying to defend her and she would have bled out anyways. In the meantime I dropped back into the sand. The last thing that I wanted was to keep standing. After everything that had just happened to us.

"You okay?" Cato asked, coming to sit next to me.

That was when I realized the true horror of what had just happened. I look at the others' sober faces. Now Finnick, Johanna, and Beetee had all lost their District partners. And Cato's had betrayed us. Only Haymitch and I remained unbroken. I leaned over to Cato and wrapped my arms around him. Slowly I shook my head at him. He wrapped an arm around my shoulder and pulled me so that my head was pressed against his shoulder. I tried to do everything in my power to keep from crying. No more looking weak.

"I accidentally killed her," I said softly.

To my surprise, it wasn't Cato that spoke up. It was Johanna. "It wasn't you," Johanna said.

"It was my arrow," I said.

"You were trying to get to Gloss. It was too late for Wiress. You saw where he got her. She would have died anyways. At least you made it fast," Johanna reasoned.

What the hell had she just said to me? Had she really just said that? Were her words actually making any sense? My jaw nearly dropped. Johanna hated me and everything about me. She always had and always would. It wasn't shocking. Why was she trying to make me feel better? Especially after earlier with the crack about me getting Mags killed. _Just one more innocent woman dead, because of me._

"Are you actually being nice to me?" I asked.

Johanna merely shrugged and struck her axe against the rocks. "I know what it's like to blame yourself for something that was out of your control, for something that you didn't want to happen. It'll drive you into an early grave, Girl on Fire," Johanna said.

What the hell was wrong with me? That must have been what everyone was thinking the moment that I did it. I couldn't help it. Even after everything that had happened, after all of the sudden deaths, a loud and barking laugh escaped my mouth. It was too late to drive us into an early grave. We were all already standing with one foot in our coffins. We were just pretending that we could still jump out. Everyone was staring at me.

"Look at where we are, Johanna. We're already dead," I told her.

The two of us were just staring at each other. She nodded at me as if she were agreeing with me and turned back to sharpening her axe. I believed that Johanna could easily lose her judgment in a fit of temper and slaughter me. Not that I could feel superior on that point. I thought of the moment I sent the knife flying into the apple in the pig's mouth when I was so enraged or the dummy that I hung. Maybe I did understand Johanna better than I thought. Cato grabbed my face to pull it towards himself.

"Hey, we aren't. You aren't. I'm not," Cato said.

"Sure we are. We can feel the sand trying to bury us."

"Aspen -"

"We're just counting down the minutes until we are. Cato, we're already standing with one foot in the ground," I said.

"That's not true. You know that it's not the truth," Cato argued.

"No, I don't."

"You're going to be fine. We're not dead yet, Aspen. I'm not dead yet. And neither are you. We fight. That's how we survive and move on. We fight," Cato said, his voice more intense than I'd heard it for a while.

Johanna finally seemed to have had enough with us standing here, feeling sorry for ourselves. She stood and tucked her axe into her belt. "Let's just get what we need and get off the bloody island," she hissed.

At that, everyone jumped into action and began to do what they needed to do. Cato went off with Johanna to go and gather the one basket that wasn't lost in the fall. We would be able to recreate the rest. But right now we had to worry about the weapons. Thankfully only one or two of them had been displaced in the fall. Everything else had remained with us. Even my bow hadn't been broken in the fall. The basket was the only non-weapon that we had had from before that we hadn't lost during the spin.

Finnick was tying his undershirt around Beetee and I glanced over. He must have been hit during the fall. Maybe by all of the free-flying weapons. I grabbed the vial of medicine that I had left over from the monkey's bite and went to treating us all. Some of us were still relatively badly injured from earlier. The fog and monkeys had left their marks. I pushed the medicine into the cut on my forehead and the one on my thigh. Cato had to help with the one on my shoulder since it was very painful.

A moment later I helped clean off Finnick's leg and Haymitch's arm. I took care of Beetee's torso as well. It turned out that he had been hit by a flying knife. Fortunately the vines were strong here in the arena and they had managed to keep the spile secure at my belt. Thankfully we were the only ones that had been injured. Johanna and Cato had gotten off without being injured. I couldn't help but wonder if Enobaria was going to be getting any medicine from the Capitol Sponsors. Hopefully not.

Later on I tossed away the empty vial of medicine and reached for the remainder of the cream for the boils from the poison fog. I applied the remainder to Cato's leg and tossed the other empty tube. If we needed any more medicine we were going to have to get some from a Sponsor. Once we had everything - not that it was much anymore - we began to walk down one of the pathways. Just in case they decided to spin the Cornucopia again we wanted to be away from it.

"Damn it. I knew in the beginning that it was the wrong idea to trust her," I muttered to Cato as we walked behind the rest.

Our group seemed so small now. Even though we'd only lost two - still leaving us with six, a normal Career pack - the air seemed so much quieter. Perhaps it was because we had finally realized that we weren't indestructible. Now I knew how the Careers must have felt last year after I dropped the Tracker Jacker nest that killed Glimmer. Plus there was the issue that we really weren't the ones that the Capitol wanted to win. They were going to do anything to keep us from winning.

"Hey, that one wasn't on you," Cato said.

"I know, but I should have just ignored Haymitch and fired the arrow when I saw her at the Bloodbath."

"You didn't know. Not really. It was on all of us. We were the ones that thought that we could learn to trust her. You didn't want to. You were the one that was right."

That didn't matter. I could have said something. I was foolish enough not to even when I knew that we couldn't trust her. "Aspen," Haymitch called.

"Yeah?"

"What did Enobaria say to you when she attacked you?" Haymitch asked.

 _Don't sound crazy._ Looking insane right now wouldn't help my case. "I don't know. She said something about how she 'wasn't going to die for this.' What did that mean?" I asked.

If anyone knew, it would be Haymitch. I knew that he wouldn't tell me, because of everything that had happened, but I wanted to see how much I could squeeze out of him. I wanted to know what the hell had just happened up at the Cornucopia. And I knew that Haymitch would know. He seemed to always know what was going on. Even when no one else did. Cato seemed as lost as I was. Lately it seemed like we were the only two that had no clue what was going on.

"What?" Cato asked.

"I don't know," I answered dumbly.

It was Finnick that came to my rescue. "It means that she was a coward. She wasn't willing to fight with us. She probably thought that the Careers would give her a better chance," Finnick said.

Slowly, but not completely convinced, I nodded at him. He was right. We had the best chances with the numbers, but we weren't the ones that has the best chances. The Capitol wanted us dead at the first chance. And the Careers were always more likely to win the Games. It had even said that on the scorecards before the Games. Once Finnick had admitted to us what was going on, I shook my head. Now I realized something. Somehow this wasn't all working out.

"That doesn't make any sense," I said.

"How so?" Cato asked.

"She separated from us right as we were about to kill Gloss and Cashmere. There were no other Careers," I reasoned.

It literally made no sense. "Actually... you're right," Cato said.

But no one else agreed with us. "How was betraying us a good move?" I asked.

"She was probably hoping that she would manage to at least take a few of us out in the process. It just so happened to not work out for her that way," Finnick said.

It made me shiver. It had been so close to me dying. "But -" I started.

"No big deal. She's gone. We'll get her the next time that we see her," Finnick added.

"We have to go hunting for her soon," I said.

"Small arena. Chances are that we'll run into her or someone else will," Haymitch put in.

We let them walk ahead of us for a little while longer until Cato and I were lingering in the background. "No way," I said softly.

Cato looked a little confused at one of my words. "Hmm?" Cato asked.

I made sure that anyone else was far away from me before speaking. I sighed at him and shook my head. "It doesn't make any sense that she would run off. And the way that she attacked me," I muttered.

"What do you mean?"

"It was almost like she was angry at me."

"Angry?" Cato asked.

"Yes. It was like she had been blaming me for something. Like she thought that it was my fault," I added softly.

There had to be something serious that she was blaming me for. "Blaming you..." Cato trailed off.

"For more than landing us back here," I said.

Cato nodded slowly. "I know," Cato said softly. He didn't say anything else but he did lay a hand over my shoulder. "You're right. Things are getting weird."

Part of me couldn't help but to scoff. "They've been weird since we set foot in the arena." Everyone turned back to listen to me. "You saw what happened when the Cornucopia was spinning. Johanna risked her own life to save me from falling into the water," I said, dropping my voice.

"Well... No one wants to die from drowning," Cato reasoned weakly.

"She shoved me out of Cashmere's range. Why would she do that? She hates me," I told Cato.

"Because we are still in an alliance together?" Cato suggested.

Part of me wanted to slap him. How stupid could he be? Alliance or not, Johanna hated me, and she was not willing to risk her life for me. "For how much longer?" I asked, speaking again before he could.

"Until a few more are dead," Cato said.

"There's only a few of us left. It could have been her way to get rid of me and claim that it was an accident. No one could have blamed her," I explained.

Cato didn't look the least bit convinced by my explanation. But I was concerned. I was extremely concerned. Cato was a Career and didn't think things out as far as I did. But I did. There was always something on my mind. Especially being so close to being dead and not trusting my alliance. Cato shrugged at me as we walked away from the rocks that led back to the Cornucopia. All I could see were Enobaria's teeth falling out, straight onto my torso.

"You're good with long range shots. One of the only people left in the arena that can do long range," Cato said.

"That's true," I muttered.

"She probably saw value in that," Cato explained.

No. If they wanted us for something, it wasn't to keep us alive. They could manage to do that on their own. "I don't think so. Cato, people are sacrificing themselves for us. And I don't like that. Why would they be doing that?" I asked.

There was no reason. Everyone here hated us. So why would they be risking their own lives to ensure that we lived? There was no reason. At least, none that I could think of. Literally none of this made any sense. I just kept thinking about what was happening. How awful everything was. How much sense the entire arena and alliance didn't make sense.

"It seems like everyone is in on some type of plan, and we're the odd ones out," I continued.

These past few weeks it seemed like we were involved in a plan much larger than us. We were being left out of the plans. We were always knew things last. Why was that? "I think that you're getting a little paranoid, Twelve," Cato teased.

I couldn't help but to scowl at him. "I'm serious," I snapped.

The smirk that was on Cato's face hadn't faded. He was always a joker. "So am I," Cato said.

He now had one hand wrapped around my shoulder. "Besides, it didn't strike you odd that the moment that I fell into the water was when the Cornucopia stopped spinning?" I asked.

The smirk that had been on his face finally faded. "Okay... That's a fair point," Cato admitted.

"They hate me up there. Why wouldn't they have kept it spinning until it drowned me? Nothing makes sense," I complained.

Nothing that was happening to these Games was making any sense. Even for a Quarter Quell, things were far too complicated. "Maybe someone in the Capitol is watching out for you," Cato said.

Suddenly he seemed to have realized something. I could tell that it wasn't something that he liked. "But who would be stupid enough to do that?" I asked.

"I can think of someone," Cato said.

"You don't have to be from District 3 to know that Snow wants me dead by the end of these Games."

"Doesn't matter. You're not going to die."

"Maybe. Focus, Cato. It must be a crime to be helping me right now."

Cato's face faded into one of uncertainty. He almost looked angry as he glared off into the distance of the trees. "There's one Gamemaker that was always fond of you," Cato growled under his breath.

And he was completely right. My heart thumped loudly in my chest as I realized that maybe Cato knew a little bit more than I had thought that he did. Because I knew who he was talking about. Seneca Crane. How could I have been so stupid to think that Cato hadn't realized Seneca's fondness for me? I gently fingered at the little piece of metal that he gave me - that was hidden in my arm band - before continuing to walk with them.

He still gave me the creeps, but just in case he really was my new ally, I didn't want to sell him out. Not just yet. Not in case this thing that he gave me really was something that could get Cato and I out of the arena. Not that there would be a place for us to go. I pushed those thoughts out of my head and cleared my throat. I would worry about that when the time came. We continued to walk but I didn't know where we were going. We seemed to be going in the same direction that we had come from.

But the spin of the Cornucopia had screwed up our sense of direction. "Hang on, which way are we going?" I asked as we hit the edge of the beach.

Everyone turned back as we stood at the edge of one of the sectors. It couldn't have been the twelve section. We hadn't seen the lightning yet. "Twelve o'clock, right? The tail points at twelve," Cato pointed out.

Unfortunately that was something that I had managed to screw up for us just because I had opened my big fat mouth. That must have been the reason that they had spun us. So I shook my head. That had been the point of the Gamemakers spinning the Cornucopia. They knew that we had figured out the point of the clock layout of the arena. This was their way of screwing with us. They were trying to make us regret ever figuring out anything in the first place.

"Before they spun us. I was judging by the sun," Finnick said.

"The sun only tells you it's going on ten, Finnick," I dryly commented.

The sun appeared to be in the early afternoon. But that could have been completely wrong, considering the sun was artificial while we were in the arena. Theoretically it could still be two in the morning. But the Gamemakers were usually pretty good at keeping the in and out of arena times close together. They wouldn't want to screw up their viewers now, would they? They needed some way to keep track of time. I guessed that in a way it was something that I could have been grateful for.

"I think Aspen's point is, knowing the time doesn't mean you necessarily know where ten is on the clock. You might have a general idea of the direction. Unless you consider that they may have shifted the outer ring of jungle as well," Beetee said.

 _Actually Aspen's point is much less theoretical than that. But perhaps playing along isn't such a bad thing._ So I decided to take a wild guess and pretend like I understood what Beetee was saying. After all, I knew that no one else understood it. Just the way that no one else had understood how I had seen the force field.

"Yes, so any one of these paths could lead to twelve o'clock," I added.

That was about the only thing that I really understood from this part of the arena. We knew that we had been screwed up on being able to tell where anything was. Going back into the jungle would have been a shot in dark. It wouldn't matter though. We were going to have to take a guess sooner or later and try to see if we could end up in a sector that wasn't active. Whether or not we were right was going to be a total guess. Maybe something that would prove deadly. But we had to try.

For a while we walked on the beach. We circled around the Cornucopia, scrutinizing the jungle. It was now - for the first time - that I realized that it had a baffling uniformity. I remembered the tall tree that took the first lightning strike at twelve o'clock, but every sector had a similar tree. Ones that I had never noticed before. _Is there a chance that they'd added these trees in recently?_ Johanna thought that following Enobaria's tracks would be a good idea - to finish her off - but they have been blown or washed away.

There was no way to tell where anything was. Now that we had been spun we were completely lost. We would have to wait for one of the visible, and known, sectors to activate again before we realized where we were on the clock face. Right now we would just have to wait it out. Anything that had happened to us back at the Cornucopia had long since been washed away. We would be taking a guess at where to go, no matter what.

"I should have never mentioned the clock. Now they've taken that advantage away as well," I muttered angrily as we walked.

Perhaps it was the only reason that we had been hunted down by the Careers. Perhaps it was the reason that the Cornucopia had been spun. Perhaps it was the reason that Wiress was dead. Either way, if I had kept my mouth shut, she would have still been alive. Of course that would only have meant that I would have had to figure out how to kill her later. But I ended up killing her anyways. Just in a different way.

"Only temporarily. At noon, we'll see the lightning again and be back on track," Beetee said.

But that still wasn't a console to the fact that I was never going to be able to bring Wiress back. Up until her last moment she had protected the coil. Why? "Yes, they can't redesign the whole arena," Cato said.

Johanna was the one that shook her head. The more time that passed, the more that I realized that we might have been more similar than I liked. Just the way that I had realized earlier. It wasn't something that I was very fond of. Knowing that I was more like Johanna - more like the Careers - than I had thought that I was. Sometimes I did realize that Cato was less of a Career than I was. It was just something that I had pretended to ignore until now.

The last thing that I wanted was to pretend that I was anything like Johanna. But she might have been better than me. She had saved me. Would I have done the same thing? I wanted to pretend that I would have. But I knew the truth. I would have panicked but I never would have risked my own life to try and save hers. Because I had to stay alive to protect Cato until the end. So why had she done it for me? Especially when she insisted that she hated me as much as she did.

"It doesn't matter," Johanna said, distracting me from my own thoughts. "You had to tell us or we never would have moved our camp in the first place, brainless. Come on, I need water. Anyone have a good gut feeling?"

There was no way that we were going to figure out the right way to go. There was nothing indicating whichever the right way was. We just had to take a guess. So we did. We just went off in the first direction and took a seat near a mangrove tree. Was there a chance that something was going to attack us out here? Probably. There was a good chance that something was going to attack us. It didn't matter. It was the Hunger Games. There was always danger around every turn.

We weren't going to go too deep into the woods until we had a clue as to which way was the safest. We could use one of the trees closer to the beach for water. We would know at noon when the lightning bolt struck the tree. As we sat I let Johanna's words play over in my head. She had the cruelest and least helpful words, but for whatever reason, they made me feel the best. Something about them seemed right. Maybe it was because for the first time in a long time, someone wasn't trying to patronize me.

"I'll get the water," I said.

"I'll watch your back," Cato offered.

"No, I've got it. It's my turn," Finnick said.

"He's right. Aspen can watch while Finnick does it," Johanna said.

For a moment, I was suspicious that they were trying to divide and kill us. But it didn't make sense. I would have the advantage on Finnick if he was dealing with the tree and Cato was much bigger than Johanna and much faster than Haymitch. He would have the advantage, as nasty as Johanna could be. So I gave Cato a quick kiss and followed Finnick about fifteen yards into the jungle, where he found a good tree and started stabbing to make a hole with his knife.

As I stood there, weapons ready, I couldn't lose the uneasy feeling that something was going on and that it had to do with Cato and me. I retraced our steps, starting from the moment the gong rang out, searching for the source of my discomfort. Finnick stopping me from jumping into the water and risking his own life in a fight to protect Cato in the fight with the male from District 9. Finnick keeping me away and reviving Cato after the force field stopped his heart. Mags running into the fog so that Finnick could carry Cato. The Morphling hurling herself in front of him to block the monkey's attack.

The man from District 10 taking a brutal death at the scorpion mutt's hand to keep me away from it. Johanna getting Beetee and Wiress out, for me. Enobaria saying that she wasn't dying for this. Johanna shoving me away from Cashmere. Risking her own life to catch me when the Cornucopia began to spin. The fight with the Careers was so quick, but Finnick did pull Gloss away from Cato even though it meant taking Enobaria's knife in the leg. And even now Johanna had him drawing a map on a leaf rather than risking the jungle.

There was no question about it. For reasons completely unfathomable to me, some of the other Victors were trying to keep the two of us alive, even if it meant sacrificing themselves. I was dumbfounded. For one thing, that was my job. For another, it didn't make sense. Only one of us could get out. So why had they chosen Cato and me to protect? Cato even more than me. What had Haymitch possibly said to them, what had he bargained with to make them put our lives above their own?

Even after everything that I had done to send them back into the Games. Why were they trying to help us? I knew my own reasons for keeping Cato alive. He was my husband and meant everything in the world to me. I couldn't live without him as he was the love of my life. There was no way that I could let him get hurt even more by my stupid actions. And this was also my way to defy the Capitol, to subvert its terrible Games. But if I had no real ties to him, what would make me want to save him, to choose him over myself?

Certainly he was brave, but we had all been brave enough to survive a Games. He had showed that he was far more than the cruel Career that I had once thought that he was. There was that quality of goodness that was hard to overlook, but still... and then I thought of it, what Cato could do so much better than the rest of us. He could use words. He obliterated the rest of the field at both Interviews. And maybe it was because of that underlying goodness that he could move a crowd - no, a country - to his side with the turn of a simple sentence.

Of course, the rebellion. I remembered thinking that was the gift the leader of our revolution should have. Had Haymitch convinced the others of this? That Cato's tongue would have far greater power against the Capitol than any physical strength the rest of us could claim? I didn't know. It still seemed like a really long leap for some of the Tributes. I mean, we were talking about Johanna Mason here. But what other explanation can there be for their decided efforts to keep him alive?

"Aspen, got that spile?" Finnick asked, snapping me back to reality.

"Yeah. Here you go," I said.

The two of us collected two baskets of water before returning to the beach. Everyone started taking some water until they'd had their fill and we were allowed to relax for just a little while. So we sat in the sand and I placed my head in between my knees. I didn't want to think about what was going to happen next. So I went back to what I always thought about whenever I tried to think about anything other than what was happening. I imagined killing President Snow.

Over nineteen years - almost twenty - there were so many ways that I had imagined killing him. Sending him into the Games, beheading him, sending a knife through his chest, spearing him through the eye with an arrowhead, or watching the poison of a Nightlock berry take over him. Nice thoughts for a nineteen-year-old, right? The thoughts had only gotten worse since then. No matter how hard I tried to press the thoughts out of my head, they wouldn't stop.

All of the cruel things that I wanted to see happen to him. Everything that would make a normal execution, a bullet to the brain or arrow through the heart, wasn't enough. I wanted to see him get ripped to hell by a wolf mutt, have the skin torn off of his head by a lion, or have a bear eat him alive. I wanted him to watch his granddaughter die, knowing that it was his fault that she was dead, only to slaughter her afterwards. I wanted to have the last bit of his innocence taken away from him, watch the one man that always believed in him die in front of him, and having nothing to do with it.

Then I wanted to watch him get loaded into the arena for a second time, knowing that he was the only reason that everyone else was already there, watching everyone else be there to defend themselves, and having to wonder why everyone else was watching you. Not to mention nearly drowning a few times, poisonous fog, killer monkeys, and getting thrown off the rock bed - nearly getting decapitated by it. I would have loved to see him go through everything like that. He would have died. I knew that.

Finally I couldn't stand it anymore. I had to say something. The tense air was getting to be too much for me to handle. "So besides Enobaria, who's left?" I asked the small group that still surrounded me.

"Maybe Chaff," Cato said.

Was that really all that was left? Chaff and Enobaria. And Chaff... Who I had denied having in the alliance because I hadn't trusted him. Was he trying to keep Cato alive, too? I had completely forgotten about him up until now. He had somehow done extremely well managing to keep himself hidden from view of the other Victors. Maybe it was just because they were focused on our group. We were clearly the majority of everyone else.

"Just those two," Cato added.

The Games had gone by so fast. Only eight of us left? With only a day having gone by. How had that happened? That had never happened before. There had been quick Games before but the shortest one that I could remember was only about five days. At this rate, the Games would be over tomorrow. Once Enobaria and Chaff went, it would just be the rest of us. How the hell would we manage to turn on each other? We couldn't do it ourselves, could we?

"They know they're outnumbered. I doubt they'll attack again. We're safe here near the beach. Just in case something else attacks," Finnick said.

We were best off staying near the beach. The sections were too dangerous. But the beach was exposed. Although Enobaria and Chaff were outnumbered. They would be stupid to attack us. "So what do we do? We hunt 'em down?" Johanna asked.

After a beat of silence I shook my head. The arena was small but too big to search and we would be risking a lot to attempt an attack. "We don't have time. The arena is too big," I said.

"It's not that big," Cato said.

"We're too loud as a group. We'll alert them. And if I go alone I could get outweighed in a fight," I said.

"You wouldn't go alone, anyways," Haymitch said.

"Maybe we could draw them to us somehow?" I asked, trying to figure out something.

"How?" Finnick asked.

"I'm not sure yet. At least Enobaria. Chaff will probably be smart enough to stay away," I commented.

It looked like Finnick was getting ready to say something else. Maybe something that we would be able to use to get Chaff out of the open. And then we could hunt down Enobaria. Six of us against one of her. We would be able to kill her and then we would figure out what else to do. And that was when I heard it. All of the screams. Katniss, Gale, Prim, Ms. Everdeen, Rory, Vick, Posy, Madge, Greasy Sae, Peeta's mother and father, his two younger siblings, and Cato's family.

The blood in my veins turned to ice. Everyone that I cared about was screaming something. They were begging me to help and pleading with me to save their lives. So full of fear and pain. I forgot where I was or what laid ahead, only knowing that I must reach them, protect them. Without thinking about the consequences of my actions - and ignoring the calls of my alliance members that remained - I did one of the least intelligent things that I'd done in the entire Games. I darted off after them. _Not my family._

 **A/N:** Here's the fully edited chapter. **Please review**! Until next time -A

 **Fire'sCatching: Yes, it has been a faster story! Catching Fire simply isn't that long. I've been trying to slow it down as much as possible. Not much left, seeing at they're getting to the end of the story. But please, continue to enjoy!**


	18. Chapter 18

There was nothing that would stop me from getting to her. Nothing that could keep me from voice was so full of fear and pain that it iced my blood. And so familiar. From the morning of the first Reaping, to her nightmares, to having her ripped away from me just weeks ago. All I knew was that I had to reach and protect her. For a moment I ran wildly in the direction of the voice, heedless of the danger, ripping through vines and branches, through anything that kept me from reaching her. My little sister.

For a moment I hovered at the edge of the jungle. I couldn't hear her anymore. Where had she gone? What were they doing to her? They had to be doing something. How had she even gotten into the Games? She had been back in District 12 just three days ago. My heart was racing, threatening to jump out of my throat as I waited to hear her again. Everyone else in my alliance jumped up and sprinted after me. Beetee was the only one that remained, watching over the supplies.

"Aspen, help me!" Prim screamed again.

"Prim! Prim!" I shouted back.

Just like with Rue... Shouting to each other, so close, but I was still too late to save her. I would not be too late to save Prim. I could hear her. She was in the jungle. Deep in the jungle. I could just barely hear her. The blood had frozen over in my veins as I sprinted after her again. They weren't going to hurt a hair on her head. They couldn't. Not after everything that I had done so desperately to try and save her over the last year. I couldn't disappoint Katniss and Ms. Everdeen. I had to save her.

She had gone silent again. "Prim! Prim! Prim!" I shouted as I dashed into the woods, the darkness from the trees taking over from the glaring sun on the beach.

"Aspen!" Prim yelled, a curdling, bone-chilling, scream that became shriller the longer that she screamed.

"Prim! Prim! Prim!" I screamed, my voice tearing against my throat.

"No! Aspen! Aspen, wait!" Cato yelled from the beach.

It didn't matter. Nothing was going to stop me from getting to her. I had to get to her. It wasn't an option. I had to save her. "Prim!" I howled. No answer. "Prim! Prim! Prim!"

"Aspen, wait!" Finnick shouted after me.

"Aspen!" Prim shouted.

My feet moved on their own account and I went tearing off in the other direction from where I had been running. "Prim!" I screamed, longer and louder than I ever had before.

"Help me! Help me! Aspen!" Prim continued to plead.

"Prim!"

"Please!" she pleaded, and I knew by the sound that she was crying.

Her screams were getting worse and worse. Someone was very clearly torturing her. But where was she? No matter how hard I looked, I couldn't find her. She was hiding. Or were they piping her screams in somehow? Was this all just a practical joke on me? Something cruel, far beyond anything that I could think up myself. What the hell was happening? Her screams had softened for a while but now they were continuous, getting louder and louder by the second.

Where was she? What were they doing to her? No matter how hard I screamed for her - my voice getting hoarse and now cracking on each scream - nothing worked. Only agonized screams answered me. Louder and louder, worse and worse. The volume was getting to such a point that I couldn't even imagine what they were possibly doing to her. More questions zipped through my mind. _How did she get here? Why is she part of the Games?_ Nothing made sense.

Everything that had been bothering me before was gone from now. The only thing that mattered right now was that Prim was here. But where was she? How could I save her from an enemy that I couldn't see? Not ever, never, not even during the previous Quarter Quells had they ever hurt loved ones during the Games, or brought them into the Games. It was always afterwards. Was it this different because it was us? It didn't matter, all that mattered was that I got to her.

As I ran, vines cut into my face and arms. Sand spurs on the ground were grabbing at my feet. The boots that I was wearing weren't thick enough to prevent me from getting them in my feet. I knew by the way that I was slipping that blood was leaking out of the wounds, making it hard to run and keep stable. It still didn't matter. Even when I tripped running after her, the skin nearly tearing free of my knees, it didn't matter. The only thing that would ever matter was that she was safe.

My face and neck were bleeding from all of the impacts of the tree. Where was she? She hadn't stopped screaming. She was still alive. She had to be. But where was she? I still hadn't seen her - only heard the awful noises escaping her throat - but I knew that she was close. Her screams had gotten louder. I had to be getting near her. I would traverse the arena if I had to. I just kept telling myself that the only reason that her screams were getting louder was because I was closing in on her.

I had to be close. It felt like I had been running for an eternity - still too far away from her. Sweat poured down my face, stinging the healing wounds from the fog. I was panting heavily, trying to gasp as I ran. It wasn't working. The warm, moist air seemed empty of oxygen all of a sudden. I collapsed once or twice, but each time I pushed myself up off of my knees and continued on. They were screaming in pain, but I could deal with it; whatever was making Prim scream, I knew that she couldn't deal with it.

It was right then that I heard it. Something that made my entire body tense and a pained whimper of pain escaped my own throat. Prim made a sound that was far beyond a scream - I wasn't remotely sure what I could even call it - and I found that I couldn't even imagine what they have done to evoke it. Could a human even make that noise? What the hell were they doing to her? Were they flaying her? Were they injecting her eyes with poison? Were they pushing air into her veins?

It made tears start to rise in the corners of my eyes. I didn't want to think of all of the cruel ways that they could be hurting her. It only made it worse. I could deal with whatever they had done to her once I found her. And then I would slaughter everyone that had had a hand in hurting her. After finally reaching the last place that I could think to run, I ripped through a wall of green bushes. I was pretty sure that we had been here before and Prim wasn't with us. Just like before, she was invisible.

Where was she? I still didn't see her. But I was standing in the middle of a small clearing and she was still nowhere to be seen. I would have thought that she had been taken out of the arena, but I could still hear her screaming. And after a beat the sound repeated directly above me. _What the hell?_ My head whipped back towards the trees. Did they have her up in the trees? How did they get her up there? I desperately searched the branches but there was nothing there. Was she hanging by her toes?

"Prim?" I called out softly, now desperate to hear anything from her.

She had fallen silent. Was she dead? Was I too late? Her cries started again, but just as before, I could hear her but I couldn't see her. The jungle went quiet for another few moments. _Where is she?_ It wasn't long before her next wail rang out. It was clear as a bell, and there was no mistaking the source. As I glanced up, I realized what it was. All of the noises - the screams and worse- were coming from the mouth of a small, crested black bird perched on a branch about ten feet over my head.

My jaw dropped as I stared at it and it repeated Prim's scream, trying to associate it with the actual animal, and not a dying Prim. She must have been fine. It was simply another one of the wedges. And I had fallen right into their trap. Just what they wanted. I didn't move, knowing that Prim must have been safe, so I just listened. To screams that would haunt me for the rest of my life. But I had to know... Because I had never imagined that they would do something like this. The Capitol was cruel, but were they this cruel?

They must have been. Because, above me, sat a Jabberjay. I had never actually seen one before - I, along with everyone else, thought they no longer existed. I had only seen some rough sketches of them from my history classes about the Dark Days. It continued to scream but I found myself entranced by it. Entranced and exhausted. Sweat was stinging my wounds but I barely felt them. For a moment, as I leaned up against the trunk of the tree, clutching the stitch in my side, I examined it.

The mutt was strange. Especially considering I had thought that they were extinct. In fact, I knew that they were extinct. The Capitol had said that they were. They must have created another flock of them for these Games. Likely just for me. Something that I couldn't fight. Not really. Something that I would just have to suffer through. Had the others heard Prim or were they hearing something else? Had any of the other Tributes heard the Jabberjay's?

Maybe. In the meantime I pulled up a mental image of a mockingbird and fused it with the Jabberjay. A quick glance down at my Mockingjay pin and I nodded. I could see how they mated to make my Mockingjay. There was nothing about the bird that suggested that it was a mutt. Nothing except the horribly lifelike sounds of Prim's voice streaming from its mouth. I realized with a start that it was still shrieking at me. I had been so enamored with it that the sound had become almost mute.

Unable to tolerate the noise anymore, I reached back and pulled an arrow out of my quiver, sloppily shooting it. The messy shot didn't matter. The arrow went through its throat and I walked over to grab the arrow back. The repulsive bird dropped to the ground and I glared at it. I removed my arrow quickly and wrung its neck for good measure. Just in case. And out of my own frustration, I hurled the revolting thing into the jungle. My stomach was growling, pleading with me to eat it, but I couldn't.

Despite knowing that it was a mutt, I couldn't bring myself to touch it again. Not after hearing all of the noises that it was making. Not while I was still trying to figure out how it was making the noises. _It isn't real_ , I tried to tell myself. The same way the mutt wolves last year weren't really the dead Tributes. It was all just a sadistic trick of the Gamemakers. But I couldn't help myself. I'd read enough about Jabberjay's to know that they mimic sounds. And how would they have heard that?

Was there a chance that it was mixing Prim's voice with someone that had been tortured, creating that noise? Some of the screams sounded similar to the way that they had last year at the Reaping when she had been taken away by Gale. But they were so much worse. Not just desperate, tortured. Could they have just altered those screams? They sounded similar but these were much more pained. Maybe they had just done something to alter the screams into something horrible.

Or was this really a product of the Capitol hurting the one person that I had started all of this for? I could only imagine the look Katniss's face if something had happened to Prim, after everything that the two of us had been through to try and save her. Was she crying as she tried to get to Prim, who had been taken? Hopefully not. I just had to keep reminding myself that it wasn't real. Prim was back home, shouting to me that she was just fine, through the television, broken hearted that I couldn't hear her.

Of course. She was sitting on the couch with the others in a tense silence, pleading with me to get it together. Ms. Everdeen was probably thinking to herself that I was smart enough to reason it out, but knowing fully well that my emotions would get the better of me. Katniss was still - as she always would be - insisting that I would manage to find a way past this, to try and push it out of my skull. I would have been shocked if Gale was doing anything other than brooding.

Interrupting my thoughts was another shrill cry. One that turned my blood just as cold as Prim's voice had. "Aspen!" Katniss shouted.

Her voice was muddled with water. It sounded like she was either drowning or choking on her own blood. "Katniss! Katniss!" I cried out.

"Help!"

"Come to me! Where are you?" I pleaded, just like I had with Rue.

"Aspen!" Katniss begged.

"Please! Tell me where you are!" I shouted.

No matter that I'd spent the last few minutes reasoning with myself that it was all a trick, it was too much. First Prim and now Katniss; maybe there was something more going on. There was no coincidence that it was the two of them. Even if it was just the Jabberjay's that were shouting at me right now, they had gotten these noises from somewhere. Where? What had happened to everyone that I loved? I whipped back around with my bow still in hand and nearly toppled over myself.

I'd been half expecting to come face-to-face with a bloody and half-dead Katniss. I wasn't sure whether this was better or worse. It was another Jabberjay. This one with its beak open, repeating Katniss's muddled curses, all aimed straight at me. As was the mutt. Its razor-sharp beak was wide open and ready to tear my throat out. For a moment, I almost let it. But I shocked myself back into it and raised my bow, shooting it, trying to ignore the one, last, very Katniss like scream it gave before dropping dead.

Letting out a few, weak breaths, I grabbed my second arrow and held it in my hand with my first. They were bloody and sticky from the Jabberjay's blood. Not wanting to find any water to clean them, I walked over and picked up a patch of moss. Coincidentally enough, Prim's screams had reminded me that she had taught me that this type of moss was good for absorbing any type of viscous liquid. I kneeled in the woods, cleaning the arrow and trying to slow my heart rate, for almost a full minute before there was another sign of life.

Quickly I almost raised my bow to shoot at it, but it was too loud to be a mutt. And right now, they were the only things that scared me. I figured that it was one of my alliance members that had finally managed to find me in the thickness of the jungle. As the figure crashed through the jungle, I glanced up and saw that it was Finnick. He was out of breath and looked shocked to see me doing nothing more than cleaning the arrowheads with moss.

Of course, I hadn't looked very stable the last time that he'd seen me. "Aspen? You okay?" Finnick asked carefully.

It had been a damn long time since I'd been okay, but he didn't need to hear me say that. "It's okay. I'm okay," I insisted.

He seemed to see through the lie, but said nothing about it. "What happened?" Finnick asked.

"I thought I heard Prim, but -"

The piercing shriek of another Jabberjay cut me off. I had heard two of them now, different voices each time, but I figured that if we were hearing another one, it had to be another Jabberjay. We must have somehow stumbled on another one of the sectors. And this one was Jabberjay's that mimic loved ones. This time the Jabberjay wasn't for me. It was another female voice. Some part of it sounded familiar, but I couldn't quite place it. Finnick wasn't having nearly as hard a time picking it out as I was.

The effect on Finnick was instantaneous, just the way that it had been for me a few minutes ago. The color vanished from his face and I watched in shock as his pupils dilated in fear. He - like me - thought that the entire thing was real. It sounded all too real. It took me a moment more, but I finally managed to recognize it. The voice was Annie Cresta. And Finnick seemed to have come to the same realization. He darted off without saying anything to me.

My feet slid on the jungle floor as I began to chase after him. "Finnick, wait!" I called.

But it was useless. He was just a few feet in front of me at first. So I reached out to reassure him that it wasn't real, but I was too late. He had already bolted away. Not that it mattered. He would find out that it was just the Jabberjay's soon enough. Not that it mattered. It was horrifying enough. Just like myself, he had gone off in pursuit of the victim, as mindlessly as I had pursued Prim. He had come after me, now it was my turn to go after him.

"Finnick!" I called out again. "Finnick, come back!"

It didn't deter him. In the back of my mind I knew that he wouldn't turn back and wait for me to give a rational explanation. He was off like a bullet and there was no way that I could catch up to him. He was already a good distance away from me. If I was going to get to him, and explain that it was just the Jabberjay's, I had to follow him. Who knew where the Jabberjay was trying to lead him? All I knew was that it was somewhere to his death. I had only been lucky enough to stop myself in time.

As I followed him, I found myself grateful that the Gamemakers weren't setting anymore Jabberjay's on me. I wasn't sure how well I'd be able to handle them both. My own demons and Finnick's. I couldn't see Finnick ahead of me, so all I could do was follow him. It was no effort to track him, even though he was moving so fast, since he managed to leave a clear, trampled path in his wake. But it was a damn long way to chase down the stupid bird. I could just barely see the black feathers in the distance.

In the meantime Finnick was panicked. I understood. And knowing just how much Annie meant to him, and how much he had already lost, I wasn't angry with him for darting off. I had done the same thing. I could only imagine what would have happened if Cato had been outside of the arena and I had heard him screaming as the Jabberjay, unknown whether or not he was safe. The only things that I wanted at the moment were to know that Katniss and Prim were safe, and to get Finnick back.

Finnick was definitely faster and stronger than I had initially given him credit for. Usually it was me that ran the fastest. But right now, panicked and with longer legs, it was definitely much harder to chase after him. And I was already winded from my own desperate run just minutes before. So I chased Finnick and the bird for at least a quarter mile, most of it uphill. By the time I reached him, nearly two minutes later, I was winded. I wanted to lay down and sleep for a month, but I couldn't.

Finnick didn't look good. He was circling around a giant tree. The trunk alone was four feet in diameter and the limbs didn't even begin until twenty feet up. Annie's shrieks were emanating from somewhere in the foliage, but the Jabberjay was concealed. It was going a good job to try and conceal itself, simply driving Finnick mad at the thought that something was hurting his beloved and he had no way to save her. Unable to find the Jabberjay, I made an attempt to reason with him.

"Finnick! Finnick!" I continuously shouted. It was like I wasn't even here to him. "No! It's not her."

I might as well have been another person - a fan of his - shouting at the television, telling him that it wasn't real. "Annie! Annie! Annie! Annie! Annie! Annie!" he repeated desperately.

He was in a state of panic and completely unreachable. There was no way that I was getting through to him. Maybe if I had managed to lose all of my humanity, maybe if I didn't know Finnick, maybe if I was a little more desperate, or maybe if I didn't know what he was going through right now, I would have taken the chance to do something and kill him. He was so weak and fragile right now, killing him might have been a blessing. But he was my friend. And I couldn't do it.

Back home - my friends and family and his as well - would have been shocked if I did. So would I. It would have been a bad idea to do anything like that. Not right now. And Cato's family would hate me for doing that, too. Especially after Finnick had saved Cato in the water, saved him after being electrocuted from the force field, and had saved him from the fight with Gloss, despite the fact that Cato had been managing himself alright until then. I was shocked that I had even thought it.

Shaking off the thoughts, I walked over to a tree that was nearby and scaled it was quickly as possible. The trees were slowly getting easier to climb. The shrieks from both Finnick and the Jabberjay would occasionally make me lose my balance. Once I had caught onto the bird, I nocked an arrow and fired it. As usual, the shot hit the bird in the heart. _If it even has one. Or maybe it's just the creators that lack one._ It fell straight down, and landed right at Finnick's feet.

The moment that the screaming had stopped, I'd noticed something chance in Finnick. The panic had released from his body but it was merely replaced with tension. For a moment he probably thought that she had finally died. It was what I had thought when the first Jabberjay was momentarily silent. Finnick leaned over and picked it up, slowly making the connection. When I managed to get back down to the ground to join him, he didn't look relieved. He still looked desperate. Even more so than before.

"It's all right, Finnick. It's just a Jabberjay. They're playing a trick on us. It's not real. It's not your..." I trailed off when I realized that I wasn't sure what to call her on national television. If Annie wasn't hurt right now, I didn't want her to end up that way because of a slip of the tongue. "Annie."

Finnick was still staring at the bird. "No, it's not Annie. But the voice was hers," Finnick said.

"I know. I heard Prim's voice and Katniss. I recognized part of them from the first Reaping," I said.

"Exactly. That was them. Jabberjay's copy. Jabberjay's mimic what they hear. Where did they get those screams, Aspen?" Finnick asked.

My heart skipped a beat. It was bad enough when just I was thinking it. I had a feeling that it was just my own imagination running wild. But Finnick was thinking it too, and he knew a lot more about the Capitol than I did. Beetee would be the right person to ask but I wasn't sure where he was and I wasn't even sure that I wanted to know if this was real or not. My cheeks paled to reflect his own within seconds.

"Oh, Finnick, you don't think they..." I trailed off, unable to say the thoughts out loud.

My only consolation was the thought that in the Games Control Room, the Gamemakers were laughing that their trick worked, and that Prim, Katniss, and Annie were safe back at home. "Yes. I do. That's exactly what I think," Finnick said.

Part of me was still trying to convince myself that nothing had happened to the three women. They were all safe and sound, praying that we would soon learn that it was just a cruel joke. Katniss and Prim were back home in District 2, reassuring each other that I would realize that it was a trick soon enough. And Annie would be sobbing at the screen, hoping that Finnick could figure it out. It didn't stop the images from flooding into my mind.

The first of them was an image of Prim in a white room, strapped to a table. Somewhat like me, when I had first gotten here. But instead of peeling off my leg hair, they were peeling off her leg skin. And instead of doing my nails, they were peeling hers off. I had to blink the tears back. Somewhere they were torturing her, or did torture her, to get those sounds. My knees suddenly seemed to lose their muscle and turn to water as I sank to the ground.

"What do we do?" I asked Finnick weakly, placing my head in my hands.

"Nothing," he answered solemnly.

He was as devastated about Annie as I was about Katniss and Prim, but I was determined that there was a way to find out if they were safe or not. "There has to be something that we can do!" I barked.

I hadn't really meant to snap at him, it wasn't like he was doing anything to me, but these Games were tiring and stressful. I was angry, and taking it out on the wrong person. He didn't seem bothered by it. "There's nothing, Aspen," Finnick said.

"There has to be. A Sponsor note... Something," I said desperately.

"They're going to do whatever they're going to do while we're in here. The only thing that we can do is try and get out and get back to them," Finnick said softly.

"They wouldn't really hurt them," I said.

In the back of my mind I wasn't sure whether I was trying to convince him or myself. Probably a little bit of both. I needed to know that they were okay, but I wouldn't know unless I won, which I knew that I wouldn't. So I would die, just hoping that they were going still alive. Finnick scoffed at me in the meantime. He had gone from a hero to a broken man in a matter of seconds, all because of the Gamemakers and Annie.

"Look at all that they've done to you, to all of us. And then tell me that you think that they won't do it to them," Finnick snapped.

It didn't offend me. I'd spoken the same way to him on more than one occasion. And I knew that he was completely right, I just didn't want to admit it to myself. They knew that the one way to make things even worse for me - and everyone else in here - was to threaten the ones that we loved. It was human nature. Not necessarily to care what happens to ourselves, but what happened to others because of our own actions. Especially the Victors, who knew what the Capitol was capable of.

The two of us simply stood in silence. We were both far too afraid and too deep in thought to move. My gaze was aimed at the ground as I tried to convince myself that I was thinking too far into it. Everything was fine. Everyone was fine. But just as I thought that - my hope went crashing into the ground. Finnick opened his mouth, seemingly trying to tell me something else, but I couldn't hear him. Because at the same moment, a new sound flooded the arena. And this time it was too much to bear.

"Aspen!" Gale screamed.

"No, it's not him!" Finnick shouted.

He was grabbing onto my arm to try and keep me from running. But I ripped my arm free of his own. I couldn't linger here. Not with the way that Gale was screaming for me. There was something different about hearing Gale call out to me. Prim - she was a child. She was young and she was weak. It wasn't her fault. It was her age and the fact that Katniss and I had coddled her. We rarely let her do anything that was dangerous. And Katniss, she would pretend that she was strong and unbreakable, but she was.

The two of them weren't shocking to hear scream. It was horrible and heartbreaking but it could have been worse. This was worse. So much worse. Because Gale... strong Gale, he would never yell out. Not like that. Not when he was chained to the whipping post and not during the surgery afterwards. So what were they doing to make him sound like that? What were they doing that would make him break the typically stoic demeanor he had? The screams didn't end with him.

"Aspen!" Ms. Everdeen shouted.

"Aspen!" Madge followed with.

"Gale. All of them. All of them," I muttered, my legs pushing me to stand.

The calls were coming from all over the place. Some were louder than the others, but nothing, nothing, mattered more than getting to Gale. He had gone through enough because of me. He had been hurt so many times because of me. I couldn't let them hurt him. And I couldn't deal with hearing it. The bird must have been somewhere to my left and I needed to kill it. Because - even if Gale was dead and there was nothing that I could do for him - I could at least take out my anger on the bird.

Finnick knew what I was planning to do. He caught my arm before I could dart off like I had before. "No. It's not him," Finnick said.

"Gale... It's Gale," I sobbed.

Finnick grabbed my arm and didn't give me a chance to gain my footing. He simply began to drag me downhill, toward the beach. "We're getting out of here!" Finnick shouted.

I tried to run towards the beach - wanting to get out of this section - but Gale's voice was so horrible. It was like he was in more pain than he had ever been in before. The whipping was nothing. So I still tried to struggle against Finnick, desperate to get to my best friend. But Finnick was much stronger than I gave him credit for. He wasn't going to let me do the same thing twice. Not when there was a chance that this section could get a lot more dangerous.

"It's not him, Aspen! It's a mutt!" Finnick shouted. "Come on!"

"Gale!" I shouted.

"Move!" Finnick yelled.

And I knew that he was right. As much as I wanted to try and save Gale, keep him safe from whatever was about to happen, I needed to get out of here. I needed to get back to the beach and away from here. I wasn't going to help Cato win the Games when I was sitting in here and having an internal meltdown. Every part of me wanted to attack the mutt or try and save Gale - but I knew that I had to trust Finnick. He knew that I wasn't going to move myself, so he did it for me.

Finnick moved us along, half dragging, half carrying me, until I was finally able to process what he said. He was completely right, and I'd known it the entire time. It was just another Jabberjay. I couldn't help Gale by chasing it down. The only thing that would help was to get Cato out of here so that he could ensure that Gale was still safe. Prim and Katniss, too. But all of that didn't change the fact that it was Gale's voice, and somewhere, sometime, someone made him sound like that. But my anger and heartbreak was doing nothing.

So I finally stopped fighting Finnick and ran. Like the night in the fog, I fled what I couldn't fight. There was no use in fighting the birds that would keep replacing each other. As awful as the fog was, this was worse. Because the fog was only hurting me. This was hurting everyone that I loved. But this was the ten o'clock section. Finnick was right - getting out of here was the only thing to do. Even if we get out, nothing that Effie could send would help what the birds had done.

"Come on, come on, come on!" Finnick shouted.

It was absolutely horrifying as we ran. Everything in my worst nightmares were coming to life. Everyone that I was so terrified of hurting were there. The screams were worse and worse, and no matter how hard I tried to convince myself that it was just the Jabberjay's, I kept remembering Finnick's comments. _Jabberjay's copy._ He was right. They had to hear the screams. So where did they get them from? Why did they take them? Was all of this just to torture us? To teach us a lesson? It had worked.

The screams didn't stop as we ran. In fact, they were worse. The birds were following us. I kept hearing new ones every few seconds. From everyone that I had ever known or cared for. On my other side I had a feeling that Finnick was hearing the same things. Katniss and Gale were both screaming, side-by-side. Maybe if they really had tortured them, they had done it together. Maybe in their last moments, they had hated me. Prim's screams always seemed the loudest.

They weren't the only ones that were screaming. There were others. So many others that were surrounding me and reaching a volume that made me wish that I was still deaf in one ear. At least that would make the whole thing a little bit easier. I would only be able to hear half of what I was hearing now. Hazelle was loud and crying. She sounded the same way that she had when she'd lost her husband. I could hear Ms. Everdeen and Peeta's parents screaming, too.

They weren't the nicest people in the world, but I didn't want them hurting. They had hurt enough. I heard Peeta's brothers, nineteen and twenty-two, both screaming. Rye, begging with me to help him. Cato's family - all of them - were screaming and pleading with me to help. Even Marley, poor little Marley who was too young to even understand what I was going through. Rory, Vick, and Posy - Gale's little siblings - were screaming for me, too, the same way that they'd screamed for Gale when he was hurt.

Each one was progressively getting worse. Then there was the one scream that stopped me dead in my tracks as I stumbled over myself. It was a scream that I thought that I would never hear again. _Peeta._ I knew exactly where I had heard the scream from. When Coral had thrown her knife into his arm. My blood froze in my veins as Finnick shoved me ahead. It wasn't really hearing his cries of agony again that hurt - though it did - it was the fact that I now knew, they had gotten these screams before. Peeta's was a recording. So theirs must have been, too.

Then there was one that was worse than all of the ones put together. A scream that, to this day, and likely for the rest of my life, had haunted me in my sleep and waking hours. My name, in a blood-curdling scream. High-pitched and extremely loud. Her voice, catching the moment that he found her, screaming this time, instead of quieting so I could threaten him. It was Rue. Her voice from the moment that Marvel had caught her as I was trying to get to her.

"Rue..." I muttered.

"Keep moving!" Finnick shouted.

My eyes were flooding with tears as I finally rounded the last corner of the jungle, hopefully on the edge of the sector. "Cato!" I shouted at the top of my lungs, over the cries of the birds.

Where was he? I needed him here. I needed his help. He needed to be here to help me out. I just needed him to be close to me. To help convince me that it wasn't real. Where was he? Cato came into view a moment later. Not just him - I caught sight of Cato, Haymitch, and Johanna. They were all standing at the tree line and my eyes narrowed. My being filled with a mixture of relief and anger. At least they were safe. But then came the questions.

Why didn't Cato come to help me? Why did no one come after us? And why the hell weren't they moving to help us? The Capitol couldn't be thrilled that my husband wasn't coming to my rescue. Neither was I. Even now - with me in his sights - he hung back. His hands were raised, palms toward us, with his lips moving. The problem was that no words were reaching us. Why? The birds weren't that loud. I could still hear Finnick. So why couldn't I hear Cato? My answer came all too fast.

The wall was so transparent that I never even saw it. Even as I hit it, I didn't even see it. Finnick and I ran smack into it and bounced back onto the jungle floor. My body was rolling in waves of pain. I'd been running faster than I thought that I was. But I was luckier than Finnick. My shoulder and torso took the worst of the impact. It knocked the wind out of me, but nothing worse. Finnick hit face-first and as I glanced over at him, I saw that his nose was gushing blood. There were stars in his eyes.

But at least I knew now why Cato, Haymitch, and Johanna hadn't come to our aid. Which was good, because I would have spent a good long time screaming at Cato and Haymitch for not helping me. Not Johanna, who likely thought that this was rather funny. Or maybe not. Because this was cruel. Beetee had now come to join them. He was sadly shaking his head behind them, seemed to be attempting to figure out a way to help. The invisible barrier was blocking the area in front of us. Thankfully it wasn't a force field.

It was like with the fog. I tried to punch my way past it, but I couldn't. The birds had disappeared for the time being, but they would be back soon enough. Cato and Johanna motioned for Finnick and I to take a step back, and we did. It didn't matter. Cato's sword and Johanna's axe couldn't make a dent in it. I knew, without checking more than a few feet to one side, that it enclosed the entire wedge. We would be trapped like rats until the hour passed. The panic was beginning to settle in.

Cato pressed his hand against the surface and I raised my own up to meet it. Some part of me had been hoping that the barrier would fall away, but it didn't. It was like touching a piece of glass. His lips were moving to say something, but I couldn't hear him. I can't hear anything outside the wedge. I tried to focus and make out what he was saying, but I couldn't focus. Not with how badly I was shaking. So I resorted to just staring at his face and doing my best to hang on to my sanity.

It was going alright, but then the birds began to arrive. One by one. Some floated around in the sky, shrieking to both of us. For a while it was just high-pitched cries. They simply sounded like birds. Others were perching in the surrounding branches. My heart stopped beating as I stared at them. Perhaps they weren't actually going to do anything. My hope was short-lived. Their beaks opened and a carefully orchestrated chorus of screams began to spill out of their mouths.

If I wasn't petrified before, I was now. Forget trying to be brave and pretend like this wasn't affecting me. This was worse than the fog, the deaths of my alliance members, and the monkeys altogether. Because I couldn't fight my way out of this. Desperate to be away from the birds, I began to beat against the partition. Cato was screaming at me on the other side, trying to get me to calm down, but I couldn't. I needed to get away from here. As far away as possible.

Behind him, Haymitch, Beetee, and Johanna were watching on with sad eyes. Johanna had the decency to look away. This time it wasn't my body that was disintegrating from what was happening. Not with the fog. This time it was my heart. This was only doing me harm. But I couldn't get away. I couldn't leave. I was trapped. The other terrible thing was that Cato - who wasn't hearing these things - looked just as terrified as I did.

Because for him, hearing the birds wasn't the worst thing that could happen. For him, the worst thing was to have me, terrified and hurting, my heart ripping itself into pieces, in his sight but out of his reach. As I beat roughly against the barrier, Cato tried to get to me. He was hacking away at the glass. I could tell that Haymitch was gently trying to get Cato to calm down, trying to tell him what we all knew. There was no getting out of this until eleven.

Finnick gave up at once, knowing that there was no way out. He hunched on the ground, and clenched his hands over his ears. It looked like he was trying to crush his skull. Some part of me wanted to fight. So I did. Not that it mattered. The birds had razor sharp beaks and each time I shot one, another that would replace it would come rocketing towards me, shredding a piece of my skin, before taking its place and screaming at me. It didn't deter me from my worthless fight.

In just under two minutes I emptied my two quivers of arrows into the birds. I knew in the back of my mind that it was doing nothing more than making them angry. So when I finally ran out, I gave up. I curled up beside Finnick, trying desperately to block out the excruciating sounds of Prim, Gale, Katniss, Ms. Everdeen, Madge, Peeta, Rue, Rye, Rory, Vick, Posy, Hazelle, Marley, Leah, Carrie, Damien, Alana, Dean, Aiden, Skye, Julie... Cinna... Cinna, who I didn't know whether or not was dead. It was horrible.

And it didn't stop. The screams were still getting gradually louder and louder and more pained. I clawed at my ear to try and get the Capitol hearing aid out. I wanted to be deaf. I didn't want to hear this. Not for another hour. But it wouldn't come out. I couldn't remove it. Even with myself curled in as tightly as could be, it didn't matter. I could still hear them. And seeing Cato, desperately trying to get to me, wasn't helping any. So I placed my hands over my ears and tried to block it out.

They were still too loud. My mouth dropped open in a piercing scream to block them out. My throat was screaming at me to stop, but my mind was telling me to be louder. Anything to make it stop. I closed my eyes and placed my head in between my knees, trying to ignore the feeling at the Jabberjay's feathers flitting over my body. Tears began to escape my eyes as I squeezed them tightly shut and continued to scream, praying that when this was over, some of my sanity would still be intact.

Meanwhile in District 12...

The air in District 12 had been stiff and silent before. In fact, it had been silent since Romulus Thread had taken over. The air had been stiff from nerves before too. Never more than during the Seventy-Fourth Hunger Games. And more than once, too. The Bloodbath, when Aspen had saved Cato, her fight with the wolf mutt and her painful recovery, her time with Rue, dropping the Tracker Jacker nest, Peeta's last breath, the Death Match, and so many other times.

But this was different. Because for once, their Tribute that meant so much to them all wasn't in physical pain. The scratches from the Jabberjay's probably hurt a little, but it was nothing compared to the mental pain. In Victor's Village - which was nearly empty - sat Gale Hawthorne, Katniss and Prim Everdeen, and their mother. They were all watching the screen uncomfortably, desperate to look away, but unable. No one in the room could believe what was happening to Aspen and Finnick.

On the other side of the screen - the half that wasn't showing Aspen and Finnick desperately trying to block out the noises from the Jabberjay's and Cato's futile attempts to get to them - was Caesar Flickerman and Claudius Templesmith. For the first time in a long time, the two men looked uncomfortable at the pain of the two favorite Victors. Perhaps because there was no medicine that would fix this. The pain that they experienced in here would not be fixed by anything a Sponsor would send. It couldn't be fixed by anything.

It took a while for the two men to gather up the strength to speak. The screams from Aspen and Finnick had been lowered in volume. Gale assumed that it was because of complaints from the Capitol people. No one wanted to see them in pain. Gale, even less so. He hated this. He also realized that the Capitol people didn't know the truth. They thought that Cato was trying to get to his _pregnant_ wife, who was in a horrible, unadulterated, pain, that he couldn't stop.

" _It's a cruel trick from the Gamemakers, something that District 3 developed a few decades ago. It hasn't been used in the Games up until now,"_ Caesar finally managed to admit.

 _"Very painful. Very scary to watch,"_ Claudius said.

 _"And still about forty minutes remain in the hour,"_ Caesar said.

Gale - and the others in the room - were curious to know how the Gamemakers had managed to make the Jabberjay's sound like their loved ones. " _Perhaps even worse than seeing Aspen try to block out the Jabberjay's, is Cato's attempts to get to her,"_ Claudius said.

He was completely right. Gale wasn't overly fond of Cato, but he knew exactly how he felt. Standing right there, literally within arm's reach of Aspen, but unable to touch her. He was literally right there. He was watching her. He could see the beads of sweat forming on her forehead. He could see the blood dripping from behind her ear where she had tried to scratch out the Capitol hearing aid. Gale respected that even though Cato knew that he couldn't get to Aspen, he was still trying.

 _"He loves his wife. That much is obvious. And he's desperate to get to her, even if it means that he has to hear the Jabberjay's as well,"_ Caesar said.

The four people in the room stopped listening to the commenting after that. They didn't want to hear these people try and justify the way that they were torturing two good people. Although they could tell that the Capitol people weren't that thrilled with what was happening to Aspen and Cato. They didn't want to see Aspen in any type of pain and they didn't want to see Cato so horribly terrified for what was happening to his beloved wife. If Gale hadn't thought that he loved her before, he knew now.

The only thing that they were grateful for was the fact that they could no longer hear Aspen screaming. But they could still see her. The cameras were focused in on her face. Finnick's too. They were both crying. Instead they were listening to Caesar and Claudius talk about how this was one of the less dangerous sections, but certainly one of the worst. Because it was mental, not physical. They were also mentioning how awful this was for Cato, too. He couldn't even console his wife.

"Do you think that Annie's okay? In the Capitol?" Prim asked her sister, finally shattering the tense silence in the room.

In all honesty, Katniss wasn't sure whether Annie Cresta was in the Capitol or in District 4. But she was a feeling that - like the rest of them - Annie was just fine. Probably just crying at the sight of her beloved. "If we're okay, she's okay too," Katniss said, trying to console her sister.

She was no fool. Both she and Gale knew what the Capitol had done. Aspen and Finnick had both been trying to convince each other that it was the trick of the Capitol. But then Aspen had heard the Jabberjay mimic Peeta and Rue. And she knew that it was a recording. She knew that it was from the Death Match of the Games the year prior. And, to her, that meant that everything else must have been a recording too. It was a horrible trick that even Katniss had thought that the Capitol would never pull.

"How did that even happen? How did they manage to make those sounds?" Prim asked.

The Capitol had admitted that it was a technique that District 3 had come up with, but they hadn't said how. "I don't know, Prim, I don't know," Katniss said.

"Do you think Beetee knows?" Prim asked.

"Probably," Katniss said. "He'll tell them when the hour is up."

"Will they believe him?" Prim asked.

"I'm not sure. But they're not real. And when the hour is up, Aspen and Finnick will be able to move on," Katniss said.

Physically, that was. Mentally, they all knew that this would haunt her forever. "Thinking that the three of us - and everyone else that they care about - were tortured and more than likely killed," Gale said gloomily.

Part of him was thrilled that he would see her tomorrow. When the Games had started, Gale had thought that he would never see Aspen again. Because he knew exactly what she had been planning to do. He knew that she was still planning on dying to keep Cato alive. But she didn't know the truth. Although he did know that things were still up in the air. They would be informed in the arena at some point today of when the extraction would be. Beetee would start his plan.

Gale also knew that the plan was only to get her out of the arena alive. She was a necessity. Cato was a maybe. Only if it was easy. Only after they could get her. And that would kill her. Gale could tell that it had killed his family when they had heard that she was the priority, but they had understood. Albeit regretfully. Sacrifices had to be made for rebellions. The question was, would Aspen be able to realize that? Probably not. He had tried to tell them that but they wouldn't listen.

"And tomorrow they'll know that it isn't true. You know that the evacuation is soon," Katniss said, shattering Gale's thoughts.

He glanced over at her and scowled. She was right that the extraction was soon. In only a matter of time they would be back together. But things would be so much different. Things would have gone through almost a complete one-eighty. All Gale wanted right now was to see Aspen again. He wanted to know that she was okay. He wanted to tell her that she would be okay. But he wasn't sure that he wanted to see her in the shape that she no doubt would be in.

And he really didn't want to have to face Cato's family when he saw them again. They would be in District 13 in a matter of days. And likely in pieces. Katniss had ensured that Cato's family would at least be safe. She knew that if Cato couldn't be saved, Aspen would at least want his family to be safe. But Gale wasn't so sure that he wanted to see them. Because tomorrow, there was a fifty-fifty chance that their son would be walking out of that arena. The odds were not in his favor.

"You three shouldn't speak about that out loud," Ms. Everdeen said, speaking for the first time that day.

Katniss turned a heated glare on her mother. Her patience had worn to about nothing over the past few days. "Why not?" Katniss snapped.

"You know why not," Ms. Everdeen said calmly.

"People need to know," Katniss hissed.

"People won't believe that something is happening. They never do," Ms. Everdeen said.

"So we convince them," Gale said.

"We don't even know how they're going to do it," Ms. Everdeen said.

Everyone knew that the Capitol would retaliate to whatever happened to evacuate them out of the arena. But the question was, how were they going to do it? Plutarch Heavensbee, Haymitch, Beetee, Brutus, and Finnick were the only ones that remained that knew the evacuation plan. But no one knew what Aspen might end up doing. She put the entire plan in jeopardy. That was why they were planning on having Johanna watch her.

"Knowing Aspen, it'll be something on a grand scale," Gale said.

The four of them couldn't help but to smile. They glanced back at the screen and over to the counter that said how close they were to the end of the section. They had just over twenty minutes to go. Cato was still beating against the wall to try and get to Aspen but his hits were slower and weaker. He was exhausted. Not that anyone could blame him. Mentally and physically, he was getting to his wits end. Aspen was still screaming and crying, pressing her head into the mossy ground.

 _"That screen won't come down until the hour is over,"_ Beetee gently told Cato.

 _"I don't care!"_ Cato barked back at Beetee, momentarily regaining his strength, pushing against the barrier to get to Aspen.

 _"Save your energy,"_ Haymitch advised.

 _"Come on! Come on!"_ Cato shouted at the barrier.

Johanna slowly walked over to Cato, gently pressing her hand on his shoulder. He dropped the sword, staring sadly at Aspen. " _Cato, I'm sorry, but this thing isn't coming down for a while,_ " she said. It was the softest that anyone had seen Johanna since the beginning of the Games.

 _"Cato, calm down. You're exerting energy that you don't have,"_ Haymitch warned.

 _"She can't stay in there,"_ Cato said, almost desperately.

 _"She's going to have to. She'll be okay. We just have to reassure her that it's not real when it's over,"_ Beetee said.

 _"Both of them,"_ Johanna added, motioning to Finnick.

 _"The hour is almost over,"_ Haymitch tried.

 _"Not soon enough,"_ Cato growled.

 _"Call out to her,"_ Haymitch said.

Cato placed his hand on the barrier, right in front of her face. _"Aspen! Aspen, look at me!"_

It didn't matter how hard or how loud Cato called out to her. It didn't matter how many times he slammed against the barrier or dropped down on his hands and knees to try and get into her sight. She couldn't see him. Her eyes were tightly shut and she likely couldn't hear. She still wasn't responding to him. She couldn't hear him. Between her own screams, the Jabberjay's, and the fact that the barrier was sound-proof, she couldn't hear a thing. She was tucked in on herself even tighter than before.

She was screaming, clawing at her own ears, probably hoping that she could manage to deafen herself. But everyone knew that it wouldn't work. Even from here, Gale could tell that she was bleeding from her nails. He knew that she so desperately wanted to get out. But there was nothing that anyone could do. Not until the end of the hour. The birds continued to fly around her and shred her clothes, while pulling her hair out of its hold. Her screams seemed to have gotten worse.

"At least they're only going to be in there for a few days. She was in there for two weeks last time," Prim said softly.

She was trying so desperately not to anger any of the adults in the room. Everyone had thin nerves these days. "What they've done to them in the last day is worse than everything that they threw at them in the last Games," Gale muttered.

Katniss wanted to slap him. Prim felt bad enough. She had felt bad for what had happened to Aspen ever since the last Reaping. She needed to stop. But it didn't help when Gale would momentarily forget his filter. Saying things like that - even though they weren't aimed to be mean - made her feel like everything that had happened to Aspen was her own fault.

"That's what's going to drive her to be the Mockingjay," Katniss snapped.

She wasn't really sure about that. But she wanted Aspen to be the Mockingjay. She wanted her to fight for what she'd always believed in. "You so sure about that? Look at her. Look at what they've done to her," Gale said.

"Aspen will fight. She's strong, she's brave," Prim reasoned.

"We'll know tomorrow," Katniss said, trying to put an end to the conversation.

The room went silent once more, everyone cringing at least once at the cries that Aspen was letting out. They were whimpering and desperate. They were even worse than the ones that she would let out in the middle of the night. The screams that she would give when remembering what the arena was like. What would her screams be like now? Prim couldn't stand it. She couldn't stand hearing the girl that she thought of as her sister in so much pain.

"Should we have told her?" Prim asked, wanting to hear people say anything other than what was happening to Aspen and Finnick.

Katniss glanced over at her sister sadly. "I would have loved to tell her, Prim. But we couldn't," Katniss said.

"We should have," Prim muttered.

"We couldn't. You know that. For this to work, Aspen and Cato can't know what's happening. We'll get to tell them everything tomorrow," Katniss said.

"She'll be furious," Prim said.

"I know. But she'll get over it," Katniss said.

She tried to ignore the part of her that was insisting that she would only be telling Aspen. For her sake, she wanted Cato to be there too. "You were the one that wanted to tell them in the first place," Gale snarled.

And Katniss had wanted to tell them. Every single part of her had wanted to tell them. Because she would have been furious if it was herself and no one was telling her the plans. She had fought the longest that they needed to know. The only reason that she had bent on the idea was that if they were captured, they'd be executed and District 13 would be destroyed. The rebellion would die right there. But she still hadn't been happy about it.

"I know, but we just... we can't. Not then and certainly not now. She'll be fine," Katniss said.

Prim sat in silence with everyone else as they looked back at the counter. They slowly watched it tick down the minutes and seconds. This wasn't one of the sections that just went on for a little while. This one would eat up every second and every minute of the hour. They would keep this going for as long as they could. There was just under two minutes until the hour would end and Aspen and Finnick's nightmare would be over.

"The hour is almost up. Is she okay?" Prim asked.

For the first time in his life, Gale wasn't sure if she was okay. He wasn't sure that she would be fine. So he said the only thing that he was sure of. "She'll live."

Back in the Arena...

I knew that it was over when I felt Cato's hands on me. My entire body was shaking as I tried to pry myself away from him, trying to press myself back down into the moss. But he wouldn't let me. Cato gently pried my hands off of my ears and I cringed, waiting for the screams. But they never came. A moment later I felt myself being lifted from the ground and out of the jungle. By the scent of the area, I could tell that they had moved me out onto the beach again.

Minutes passed, but I stayed with my eyes squeezed shut. And after a moment, as an irritating buzzing began from the eleven o'clock section, I sealed my hands over my ears again. My muscles were tighter than I'd ever felt before, they were far too rigid to relax. Cato held me on his lap tightly, speaking soothing words into my ear and rocking me gently. It reminded me of the same way that we had been after Rue had died. And here we were, a year later, the exact same, yet so different.

His mouth was pressed against my forehead and over and over he repeated the same things to me. That it was okay, they were fine, and that it was all a trick. In the past he would have killed me for my weakness, but now, he was taking the time to help me. He had changed so much over the time that we had known each other. I knew that on the other end of camp, the others were trying to relax Finnick. They were being polite enough to give Cato and myself some time to ourselves.

My head was pressed into Cato's chest. My tears were long gone but my entire body was heaving and wracking with dry sobs. Even though the birds were long gone, I could still hear the screams. But after enough time, I knew that I had to relax and try to move on. So I finally began to relax the iron grip on my body. Cato tensed at my movement, probably ready for me to react. At first, it was nothing more than some intense trembling. But then the fear sank into my body and I began to panic.

The fear and panic had hit me full-force. Something was about to happen. A panic attack, more than likely. I had become very familiar with those over the past year. My entire body went rigid again, just as it did when I was having a panic attack, and I fought to get away from Cato, to run as far as possible, away from the torture of those that I loved, away from the birds, and away from everything. Cato held me tightly in his arms without releasing his grip.

"It's over. It's okay. They're gone. The hour's gone. The hour's up. It's all right," Cato tried to console me.

"Prim! Find Prim!" I shouted desperately.

Johanna, Haymitch, Beetee, and Finnick walked over to us. Finnick looked out of it, but more together than I was. "No, no. Prim's okay," Cato said.

"Prim," I muttered.

"It's okay. Prim's fine. They didn't touch Prim," Cato said.

"She - She -"

"It's okay. It's okay. She's fine. Are you okay?" Cato asked, as the panic seeped out of my body and shame crawled in.

Finnick was holding it together, I needed to as well. "Yeah, I'm fine. I'm fine," I muttered.

But I was so far from being fine that it wasn't even funny. My entire body was shaking as I tried desperately to fight back the tears. I had to stop crying. I was better than that. The Capitol would not know what they had done to me. Haymitch leaned down beside Cato and myself. His hand went into my hair, pushing the strands that the Jabberjay's had pulled out of place, back in place. But a second later he simply pulled my hair from its hold and sat at my side, holding my hand.

"It's all right, Aspen," Cato whispered into my ear.

"You didn't hear them," I muttered.

Beetee, Finnick, and Johanna walked off slightly, trying to get away from the tense air. "I heard Prim. Right in the beginning. But it wasn't her. It was a Jabberjay," Cato said.

Yes. Her screams were from the Jabberjay. I knew that much, I had seen the bird. I had killed the first one that had come around with Prim's screams. And some of the other ones afterwards. But then it had been useless. It was still useless. Because it had been her somewhere. In the back of my mind I couldn't help but to wonder if he would have reacted the same way if he'd heard Aidan, or Leah, or Marley scream like that. Hearing them for him was enough.

"It was her. Somewhere. The Jabberjay just recorded it," I said solemnly.

Still, I was hoping that back in District 12, Prim was screaming at the screen, telling me that she was alright. "No, that's what they want you to think. The same way that you wondered if Rue or Finch's eyes were in that mutt last year," Cato said.

I flinched slightly at the memory. "This was them," I said.

"No, it wasn't. Just like last year those weren't their eyes. And that wasn't Prim's voice. Or, if it was, they took it from an interview or something and distorted the sound. Made it say whatever she was saying," Cato reasoned.

"Peeta's voice was there. The scream from when Coral hit him with the knife."

Another flinch at both the memory of Peeta dying, and the pain from the knife. "Of course. That hurt you," Cato said. "They knew that it would hurt you again to hear it."

"Not just that. His scream was a recording. The others were too."

Cato shook his head at me. He gently lifted my head so that I had to look at him. "No. They did that because they knew that you would make this conclusion. That was the only recording. Everyone else is fine," Cato said.

"No, they were torturing her. She's probably dead."

At this point, I knew enough about the Capitol to know that they weren't playing games. I had been around these people and heard their threats enough times to know the truth. No more games. Not at this point. They wanted me to know that they were serious. And I knew it now. Cato shook his head at me again. Probably for his own sake, too. Because if he had been in that sector, he, too, would have heard the calls of his loved ones.

"Aspen, Prim isn't dead. How could they kill Prim? We're down to the final eight of us. And what happens then?" Cato asked.

"Seven more of us die," I said hopelessly.

From the other end of the camp, I heard Johanna snort. I didn't look at her. "No, back home. What happens when they reach the final eight tributes in the Games?" Cato asked.

My head sank into my lap again but Cato grabbed under my chin, lifting my head so that I had to look at him. It was one of the things that he was best at. Making me make eye contact. Even when I wanted to look away from him and never look back. He was always good at getting me to look and pay attention. Even when I wanted to close him off.

"What happens? At the final eight?" Cato repeated.

He was trying to help me, but I couldn't make my brain function. Still, I tried to force myself to think. "At the final eight?" I repeated, hoping that I would remember. We sat in silence for a moment before it clicked. "They interview your family and friends back home."

"That's right. They interview your family and friends. And can they do that if they've killed them all?"

For Cato's many faults, many of them in place by the way that he was raised in District 2, he was never stupid. He was always bright. "No?" I more asked than said, mostly because I still wasn't convinced.

"No," Cato confirmed. "That's how we know Prim's alive. She'll be the first one they interview, won't she?"

"Yes," I muttered, wanting so badly to believe him.

But I kept hearing their voices. They were all so real. "First Prim. Then Katniss. Then your mother. Gale. Madge." I'd found out after the Games that Madge had been interviewed as well. "It was a trick, Aspen. A horrible one. But we're the only ones who can be hurt by it. We're the ones in the Games. Not them," Cato said.

Whether or not I believed him, it did make me feel better that he believed it. "You really believe that?" I asked.

"I really do."

"And... And you believe that your family is safe?"

"Yes. They're fine. And you're going to see for yourself in a few days, okay?"

"Cato -"

"I believe that they're all fine. And I believe that you're going to be fine, too."

The problem was, Cato could make anyone believe anything. The same way that he had made the world believe that I was pregnant with just a few words and one photograph. It was one of his gifts. The reason that he had to live, not me. I looked over at Finnick to see if he believed Cato. But he was fixated on Cato, the same way that I had just been. The same way that I wanted to have faith for Prim and the others, he wanted to have faith for Annie.

"Do you believe it, Finnick?" I asked.

He looked slightly startled. He hadn't said anything in a while. He hadn't even screamed in the Jabberjay section. He'd merely shut down. "It could be true. I don't know. Could they do that, Beetee? Take someone's regular voice and make it..." he trailed off.

If anyone would know if it was possible, it was him. "Oh, yes. It's not even that difficult, Finnick. Our children learn a similar technique in school," Beetee said.

It definitely helped lift my spirits a bit. "Of course Cato's right," Johanna snapped, speaking for the first time in a long time. "The whole country adores Katniss's little sister. If they really killed her like this, they'd probably have an uprising on their hands. Don't want that, do they?" She threw back her head and shouted out, "Whole country in rebellion? Wouldn't want anything like that! If they tortured her or did anything to her, forget the Districts, there would be riots in the damn Capitol. Hey, how does that sound, Snow? What if we set your backyard on fire? You know, you can't put everybody in here."

My mouth dropped open in shock. I had said some stupid things about the Capitol. I had even done some stupid things in front of all of the Gamemakers. Something very, very, unintelligent. But they were all things that had been done in the heat of the moment. They were all things that I hadn't done directly in front of President Snow. Everything that I had done had always been right to their faces. No more intelligent, but less dangerous. Because at least the general public didn't hear me.

At least President Snow didn't hear me. No one, ever, dared say anything like that in the Games. Not even the deadliest of Career Tributes. There was no doubt that the Gamemakers had cut away from Johanna or were editing her out. I was reasonably sure that there was a five second delay. For things just like this. But I heard her and so did the rest of us. She would never win any awards for kindness, but she certainly was gutsy. Or crazy. She didn't see the fault in what had just happened. She merely picked up some shells and headed toward the jungle.

"I'm getting water," she said, heading straight back where we had just come from.

My panic settled in again and I caught her hand as she walked by. For once, she didn't wrench herself away from me. Maybe even she could respect what had just happened. "Don't go in there. The birds -"

The hour was over. The Jabberjay's were gone. But just in case, I didn't want anyone else in there. Not even her. No matter how much I hated her, I didn't want her to have to go through that. The only person that I wanted to go through something like that was President Snow. Or maybe the Gamemakers. But no one else. Not even someone in the Capitol. Because that was the worst thing that anyone could ever have to go through.

"They can't hurt me. I'm not like the rest of you. There's no one left I love," Johanna said, freeing her hand with an impatient shake.

She walked off afterwards. I wanted to ask her what had happened to her family, but I managed to keep my mouth shut. She stalked into the woods, no one daring to say anything after that. We were all smart enough to know that we were on thin ice with the Capitol right now. Johanna was gone for about two minutes before coming back with a shell of water. She handed it out to me and I took it with a silent nod of thanks. I knew how much she would despise the pity in my voice.

It didn't seem like Johanna wanted to be still. No one seemed to want to be still right now. So she walked back off into the jungle. I had a feeling that it was because she wanted to be alone, with her own bitter thoughts. I didn't blame her. She was back in the jungle, collecting more water and my arrows. Beetee sat off in the distance, fiddling with his wire. Haymitch and Finnick took to the water, speaking in hushed tones. It seemed like Haymitch was trying to snap Finnick out of it.

In the back of my mind I knew that I really needed to clean up too, but I stayed in Cato's arms. Partially because I didn't want to interrupt Haymitch and Finnick, and because I was still too shaken to move. Cato didn't seem sure of what to say, so I lost myself in my thoughts. As much as I wanted to think of the happiness outside of the arena, I knew that I needed to think of where we stood. We now had a good idea of what nine of the twelve hours would bring.

It started with the lightning storm, blood rain, fog, monkey mutts, and the beast mutt. We didn't know the five to six o'clock sector yet. We knew that at six was the tsunami. Seven and eight were both unknowns, too. At nine was something like an earthquake, the Jabberjay's were after that, and the irritating insects were last. The clock would then reset. If there was any positive to the Jabberjay attack, it was that it let us know where we were on the clock face again.

Of course, a simple note would have worked just fine. As the minutes ticked by, Finnick went to weaving yet another water basket and a net for fishing. I had a feeling that it was to relax him. When I finally felt that my legs wouldn't cave in on me, I took a quick swim - more than once blinking away the image of Gloss, Cashmere, and Wiress's bodies floating near me - and put more ointment on my skin afterwards. The scabs were going down and not as itchy as they used to be, but my skin still didn't look that good.

Once I was done, I placed myself back at the edge of the water, cleaning the fish Finnick caught and watching the sun reach the peak of the arena sky. That was when I realized just how little time we had spent in the arena. Not even two whole days in yet and we were already down to the final eight. They were pushing us out of here as quickly as possible. The noisy insects were probably coming to their end and the lightning storm would start soon, signaling noon.

"You should get some sleep for a while. You're the only one that hasn't slept yet," Finnick insisted.

He was right. Everyone had taken at least a while to sleep. Even Johanna had gotten a little bit of sleep before the blood rain had started. She had said that she'd had about an hour. I hadn't closed my eyes to sleep once since setting foot in the arena. And I wanted to keep it that way. I didn't want to close my eyes and hear the Jabberjay's again. I still didn't trust the entire alliance not to kill me in my sleep. And even then, I was exhausted, but I wasn't tired. And I didn't want to sleep.

"No. I'm fine," I insisted.

Cato sighed and walked over to the edge of the beach. He wanted me to sleep, too. They all wanted me to sleep. "Ten minutes, Aspen. Just sleep for a while," Cato said.

Once more, I shook my head. "No. I can't sleep anyways, not with the bugs in the next section," I said.

"They aren't that loud," Cato argued.

"No. I can hear them. I don't want to."

"A few minutes, Aspen."

"No, I'm fine. I'll go to sleep soon. Later."

Very close to where we were all camped out, I could hear the bugs. No doubt that they were more than just annoying. They were probably in some way lethal. Maybe they ate flesh, or made you bleed from your ears; the Capitol would have thought up something cruel. Just like they had done with every other section in the arena. Even the ones that I didn't know. Either way, I wouldn't be able to sleep. Not through that. And not through my memories.

"Come on, please. Just sleep for a while," Cato said, grabbing my hand and pulling me up towards the jungle.

"Cato -"

"A few minutes."

He was still keeping a slight distance from where the Jabberjay's would appear again. Even if it wouldn't be for another twelve hours. "Okay," I said softly.

"Thank you," Cato said.

"Wake me up soon," I said.

"Sure. Just sleep for a while."

As much as I would have loved to move, I knew that I wouldn't win this fight. I laid down in the sand, but the moment that Cato made to move, I shot up and grabbed him. "Stay here. Please," I begged.

My voice was so weak that it barely made any noise at all. I was sure that it was almost impossible for him to hear me. But the desperation in my voice was enough. The pain in Cato's eyes was obvious as he leaned over and sat next to me. I was glad that he wasn't planning on moving. I couldn't have tolerated it. I didn't want to be alone. Cato grabbed my torso and pulled me in so that my head was laying in his lap. I sighed and closed eyes, feeling his hand running through my hair.

"I won't move, I promise," Cato whispered.

"Thank you."

"I'll always be here. I'm staying with you. Forever."

"Stay."

"Always."

The same thing that he had told me so many times before. It was the same thing that he said every time that I asked him to stay with me. And it was the truth. Until I was dead, he would always stay with me. As it turned out, I was able to sleep, even through the bugs. It might have been because we only had to deal with them for about another ten minutes after I'd laid down. Or maybe it was because Cato never stopped running his hands through my damp hair that I had kept down during my swim.

It helped some of the tension fade from my body. As I was drifting off to sleep, I realized that Cato was speaking. Not to anyone in particular. He probably thought that I was asleep. But before I drifted off, I heard him, making a final promise to me that I would be the one to live happily after the Games, Gale's name slipping through, almost like a ghost in the wind. I never got a chance to say anything back to him, considering that I was out like a light afterwards.

When I woke up, I immediately knew that they hadn't just let me sleep for ten minutes. I had known that he would keep me asleep for as long as possible. I had been out of it for a long while. It had been a little before noon when I'd fallen asleep. By the time that I was awake it had to be mid-afternoon, maybe even a little later, considering that the sun was starting to sink in the artificial sky. I glanced up and saw that Cato was staring out into the water, his hands absentmindedly running through my hair.

We would be entering the second night in the arena soon enough. I debated on speaking and bringing up what he had said before I had fallen asleep, but I decided to keep my comments to myself. He hadn't meant for me to hear them and I wasn't sure if I wanted to know why he brought Gale's name into the equation. No... I didn't want to have that conversation again. Not after we had been through it so many times before. So I pretended like I was just waking up and yawned, stretching slightly in Cato's lap.

He glanced down at me and smiled, giving me a hand to help me sit upright. "What time is it?" I asked.

Judging by the look on his face, I assumed that I had dreamed of the Jabberjay's and he must have heard me. Or I had dreamed of something that wasn't very nice. One of the rare times that I had a nightmare that I couldn't remember, but Cato had definitely heard whatever I had been shouting about in my sleep. But Cato said nothing about the dream, just like I had said nothing about his comment earlier, and I was grateful for it.

"I think the fog stopped a little under two hours ago." We both cringed at the memory. "Should be coming up on five."

I nodded and took his hand, letting him help me stand. "We should get something more for dinner," I said.

"Finnick's got some fish."

"How much?"

"Three or four right now, I think. It'll be fine."

"No way. That fish isn't enough for all of us," I told Cato.

We really would need something else. The fish was enough to keep all of us alive, but we would be starving. It turned out that Finnick had managed to catch five fish, none of them particularly large. It wasn't even one for each of us. And I knew that it would be me that wouldn't end up having a full one. Even for myself, I wanted something more. So I was going to go hunting. I needed some time to clear my mind, somewhere away from everyone else. Somewhere that I didn't see the pitying looks.

"I'm gonna go on a hunt," I said.

"No, Aspen," Cato said.

"It's fine. I'll be back soon.."

"Don't go."

"I need to get out of here for a little while. Just somewhere where I can think about what's going on without all of the looks that you guys keep giving me."

"We can make do with the fish," Cato said.

"Yes, but we'll be starving."

Cato grabbed my hand before I could walk off. "Let someone else go," he pleaded.

"Who else here can hunt?" I asked rhetorically.

"Finnick can get some more fish," Cato said.

"Don't offer him up. And no one else can hunt. Not really. Except for me. But like you said, Finnick isn't half-bad either. I'll get him to come with me and help. Better?" I asked.

"Well, I like that you're not going alone," Cato said.

"I think he could use some time to clear his head, anyways."

Cato looked unconvinced, but we were both the same way. Once we got something into our heads, we were not going to give up on it. And this was about food. Something that would keep up both alive. Cato knew that I was going hunting one way or another and he knew that I wasn't going to take him. His footfalls were too heavy anyways and they were even worse since the fog had eaten away most of the tissue and given him a slight limp. So he finally nodded at me.

"Where are you going to go?" Cato asked.

For a moment, I glanced around the clock. I had to stay close, just in case something happened or I ran into Chaff or Enobaria, but I also had to be weary of the time. We had the clock to contend with. And that was an enemy that was even worse than Enobaria, who likely really wanted to watch me suffer after I had broken her teeth. A watch would have really come in handy right now. But I had a feeling that Sponsors weren't feeling that generous. That would take the fun out of everything.

"Into the six o'clock sector. When I see the five o'clock start, I'll give myself half an hour to hunt and get out. Should be back on the beach and gone by the time the tsunami starts," I told him.

Cato nodded before grabbing my hand again. "Be careful. We don't know what's in five," he warned.

The last thing that I wanted was another surprise. The three sectors that we didn't know were more than welcome to stay unknowns. "I know. I'll be back soon, forty-five minutes tops," I promised.

"Okay. Watch yourselves out there, remember, the sectors aren't the only threats. Chaff and Enobaria are still out there."

"Trust me, I didn't forget."

"Watch out with Enobaria. She's quiet."

"I know. I'll have Finnick watching my back."

"Good."

I wasn't so worried about Chaff, with his missing arm, but Enobaria was definitely still a threat. And she wasn't happy with us. "I'll be back soon," I said.

"I love you," Cato said.

"I love you, too," I said.

Slowly I grabbed Cato in for a tight hug, pressing a small kiss to his mouth. One that ended up lingering for a few moments. I could feel him shaking slightly. Was he so scared that he was going to lose me? Or was it something about what he had said earlier? Maybe it was even from everything that had happened with the Jabberjay's. The moment that Cato let me go, I pressed another kiss to Cato's cheek and turned to grab Finnick. I walked over to him and cleared my throat.

"Finnick?" I called.

"Hmm?"

He didn't actually turn to look at me. "I'm gonna go hunting for forty-five minutes or so. Wanna come?" I asked.

He nodded mutely at me. I knew that he was still hurting over what had happened to Annie, even with Beetee's reassurance. I couldn't blame him. He had lost everyone. His parents and everyone else in his life. Annie was the last thing that he had. To lose her would have been the last straw for him. As we left I announced to the rest of the camp that we were leaving to go on a hunt, and that we would be back soon. After the Jabberjay attacked, I noticed that they were all weary about letting us leave.

But after sharp glares from both Finnick and I, they nodded at us with last warnings to be safe. We headed into the six o'clock sector and walked in silence for a long time. I managed to shoot something that looked like a small bird. It wasn't much - barely larger than one of the Jabberjay's - but it was something. It was more than the fish. Finnick caught a rabbit, but his trident had sliced away most of the edible meat. I didn't say anything. I knew that he had done it more to take out his frustration. I had done the same thing before. They were the only things that we'd managed to catch in half an hour.

Slowly I turned back to Finnick as we walked, knowing that we would have to leave soon to avoid the next sector. As we walked, I knew that I should ask Finnick if he was alright, after hearing Annie's cries. I knew that I should have offered him comfort. Instead, something extraordinarily rude came out. I wondered if it was from never keeping my tongue in the Capitol, if it had somehow managed to spill over into the other areas of my life.

"Did you hear anyone other than Annie?" I asked.

If it had shocked Finnick, he was very good at not reacting. "Yes," he said after a beat.

"Who?" I asked.

We both knew that it was rude - and none of my business - to ask who else he had heard, but he admitted it anyways. Maybe because he just wanted to talk about it. Or maybe because he was past caring. Or maybe because I had told the rest of the alliance about the other people that I have heard. Mostly because the screams of my loved ones had been the loudest.

"My mother, my father... Mags," Finnick admitted.

Mags... Mags who had sacrificed her own life just so that Cato could live because I couldn't carry him. All because I just wasn't quite strong enough. I knew that she wouldn't have won anyways, but... to die like that. I flinched slightly at the mention of Mags. She had died so that Cato could escape the fog. She was one of the many Tributes that were sacrificing themselves for Cato and me.

"They're all dead," I finally said. I wanted to hit myself for being so insensitive, but I couldn't stop.

Once more, if Finnick was surprised by my words, he didn't react. "That's how I knew that it wasn't real," Finnick said.

Just like myself, he had spent the last few hours trying to convince himself that it wasn't real. That it was just our imagination. "You know how much I hate her, but even I have to admit, Johanna is right," I said.

"What's that?"

"No one would dare hurt Prim."

"Yes. She is right about that. They love her."

"I know. And if they wouldn't hurt Prim, they wouldn't hurt anyone else," I said, more trying to convince myself than him.

"We'll know soon enough," Finnick said.

"One of us."

Finnick glanced over at me with a slightly surprised face. I raised my own brow as I stared at him. Was he that clueless about the fact that seven more of us were still going to die? And the fact that we would both be dead in a matter of days? Because it would be Cato that would get out. Just Cato this time. It was like Finnick had almost forgotten that our entire alliance wasn't getting out of here. Only one of us was. Sometimes I forgot that, too.

"What?" Finnick asked.

"One of us," I repeated, slightly confused by Finnick.

"Right..."

"We're still in the Games, Finnick. We can't forget that. Only one of us is going to get out of here," I said solemnly.

We were all friends, but this was still a competition. Only one of us was walking out of here. "Right," Finnick repeated.

It was times like this that I remembered that Cato and I weren't the only ones that had someone or something to go back to. We loved each other, we were husband and wife, but there were Victors out here that had been married for years. There were people that had had children. Like Cecilia's three kids who had been clinging onto her at the Reaping. Finnick had Annie; everyone had something that they wanted to get back for. Even Johanna must have had some reason to want to go back to District 7.

"If something happens to Cato or myself, I hope that you get out of here. I hope that you get to go back to her. To Annie," I said softly.

Finnick glanced over. "If I don't, I want the two of you to be friends," he said.

I didn't bother commenting that it would take me winning the Games to be friends with her. I was more caught up on why he wanted us to be friends. "Why?" I asked curiously.

Finnick turned and smiled, or at least, it was something like a smile. As much as I was going to get for now. "Because I think that you're a lot like her," Finnick said.

"Am I?"

"Not in personality. No. You're much..."

"Brasher?" I offered.

"That's one way to put it. But you're both loving to those deserving of it."

"I suppose."

"I've always felt very lucky to be deserving of your love," Finnick said.

"You'll always have it. No matter what," I said, trying to forget that I was planning on slaughtering Finnick to get Cato home. Something that he already knew.

"I know that. I think that the two of you would actually enjoy each other's company," Finnick said.

"If I get back I'll give her a chance," I said, kicking a small pebble out of my path.

"And you can talk about how wonderful I am," he added.

I couldn't help but to smile. Finnick's didn't last long, but it was nice to see that some part of himself was coming back after the Jabberjay attack. "Lucky us," I teased, going back to my silent hunt.

We had both managed to smile just a little bit. These Games hurt, but every now and again we tried to remember that we were still real people, not the stars of these people's lives. We tried to remember that we had every right to live and be happy - just the way that they did. Even though we were in the Games - even though it was very likely that by tomorrow we would both be dead - it was okay that we both had a moment of happiness. Even if it was fleeting.

Together we walked on for a little longer. Hunting in the jungle definitely wasn't easy. The branches were very thick and the ground was slippery. It kept our footsteps soft but it also made it hard to keep our footing whenever we were moving around. Although I did manage to take out something that looked a little bit like one of the rat-like rodents from earlier. That wasn't what it was but I couldn't tell what it actually was. I just knew that we were going to have to leave soon and head back to the beach.

We hadn't gotten a lot, but we had gotten enough to manage a little more food. I hadn't seen the five o'clock sector yet, so it must have been something small. I was lost in my own thought when I glanced over at a bright light. Something that wasn't light from the sun. It was a few yards from us. The tops of two trees were on fire. Not bad, but just enough to be noticeable. I raised a brow as I attempted to remember the exact time. But without a clock, it was almost impossible. We were mostly taking guesses.

"Finnick?" I called out.

"Yeah?"

"What time is it?"

Finnick glanced over at me with a slightly surprised face. "Should be around five. Why?" he asked.

"Are we in the six o'clock sector?"

"Yeah. We should be."

By now he looked completely confused. So was I. We were in the six o'clock sector. Was the fire what triggered the tsunami? If that was the case, I knew that we had to leave quickly. But we had been in the six o'clock sector briefly before and we hadn't seen anything. No fire, no nothing. So why were the trees on fire right now? It didn't bode well. All I was reminded of was the firestorm for last year. Of course... Ha-ha... _Thanks, Seneca_. I knew what was coming.

"Then why is that tree on fire?" I asked Finnick.

He glanced over at the trees that I was motioning to and his eyes widened. He clearly hadn't thought that I was being serious. "Maybe it's just on fire," he said.

"Did you watch my last Games?"

"They wouldn't do that two years in a row."

But in a very Capitol-like fashion, a giant fireball - almost three times the size of the one from last year - something that I could have only imagined in my dreams, came smashing through the treetops and straight into the trees that were on fire, completely demolishing them. Finnick and I both drained of color - similar to the way that we had with the Jabberjay's - but this time for a very different reason. Oh yeah, I should have seen that one coming. It was one of the most popular moments of my Games.

"Maybe not. Run!" Finnick shouted.

"Of course! Again!"

"Don't complain! Move!"

"How did this happen?" I panted as Finnick and I sprinted through the jungle.

"We walked too far! Keep moving, get to the beach!" he shouted back.

There was nothing more to say. The only thing that we wanted right now was to get the hell out of here. Right now we knew what ten of the twelve sections were. The five o'clock sector was a firestorm. And I deeply wished that I had never figured that out. I was already familiar with these but this was no easier than the first time. Because there wasn't as much room to run or move. We were in a ton of danger. Unlike the fog, the fireballs could be sent right for us, and unlike the monkeys, we couldn't fight this.

Just like with the Jabberjay's, we ran. We ran as fast as we could, much faster than we had a few hours ago. Perhaps it was because the Jabberjay's were horrible, but not deadly. The fire was definitely deadly. And painful. I knew that well enough. Just like last year, I sprinted off without a second thought. Finnick followed closely behind me. As much as I hated to admit it, I was familiar with this particular Gamemaker trap and I knew exactly where to move and how. So he followed my movements.

The tops of the trees had all been lit on fire. The branches were beginning to fall, smashing into the ground and nearly crushing Finnick and me. The fire was radiating off of them, causing trails of sweat to pour down my face and back. It even felt like my skin was bubbling, threatening to fall off in chunks. The only good thing was the fire wasn't quite as widespread as it had been last year. It made it easier to breathe and see. But the smoke was starting to get to me, just as it had done last year.

There was no shirt to pull up over my nose so I did the only thing that I could think to do. I held my breath as I ran and only breathed in through my nose, which burned madly. The fireballs kept getting sent straight after us. This time I was sure that it wasn't just to scare me to run me into the Careers. Nope. This time they were aiming the fireballs straight after Finnick and me. And it was much easier to hit us as the fireballs were the size of my torso.

The fire was very closely following us as we sprinted downhill. It would have to stop soon. The arena wasn't that large. That was the one way that we had gotten lucky. As Finnick dove to the side to avoid a falling tree branch I stopped dead in my tracks. They had fired a fireball straight at me. I barely had time to throw myself to the side before the fireball blasted into a tree behind me and sent the thing up in flames. Finnick grabbed me a second later, throwing me back to my feet.

As we continued to run a fireball was thrown at us from the left. I swept out Finnick's feet to get him to crash to the ground. It probably hurt but it avoided having his temple seared off. I barely managed to stop in time to avoid having my nose melted. As another fireball hit the tree that we were running around we were showered with wooden pieces as the tree snapped in half, almost collapsing straight onto where we had been standing a moment before.

We had been doing well so far. We had managed to avoid the crashing limbs and few fireballs that had been sent our way. But I knew that our luck was running out. The Gamemakers did not want to let Finnick and I get out of the sector alive. My thoughts were confirmed when a tree came crashing down in front of me. I was slightly faster than Finnick and it had come incredibly close to smashing me into the ground. But I had managed to stop myself at the last second.

The tree was thrown up into a million pieces and I screamed, barely managing to stumble back. I fell onto my back and cringed at the flames that had been on the ground that were put out by my weight. Thankfully Finnick grabbed me and yanked me off of the ground, tugging me with him once more. The tips of my hair were on fire from my fall and Finnick brushed the charred ends off. _I guess my hair was getting a little long. They really do like giving me haircuts._ The flames had slightly blistered my bare legs and I groaned.

Painful. Very painful. But I had been burned once before. And I could handle it. I could handle it right now since I had been able to handle it back a year ago. At least this time it had only taken off the very tips of my hair. Last time it had seared off nearly six inches. My back was slightly blistered and so were my legs, but it was nothing that medicine couldn't fix. I could manage just a few little blisters. Even some cold water from the ocean - which would be painful - would help.

As much as I wanted to stop - as I was now finding myself barely able to breathe with all of the smoke in the air - I knew that I had to keep going. For my friends and family - if they weren't dead yet - for Cato - whom I had promised that I would come back to, and I'd promised that I would save - for myself - to prove that I was stronger than I'd ever thought that I was - and for my parents - to show them that the only way that the Capitol would end our family would be on my terms.

The bile was starting to rise in my chest. Just like it had last year. But I forced it down. I could get rid of the poisons in my system later. Finnick, who had never been through a firestorm, had to be dragged along by me, as he was about to fall over from the bile escaping him. He was puking a little bit up onto me, but I didn't care. I just needed to get us out of here. It seemed that we must have been getting close to the end of the sector. The trees were thinning out, which meant we were getting close to the beach.

Finnick and I were doing well at avoiding the trees and the flames that were cutting off our path. I could tell that the Gamemakers were getting desperate. Because the fireballs had started even harder. One came flying through the air straight between Finnick and me. We had shoved off of each other to the ground. More fireballs came rocketing towards us, threatening to put us six feet under, but we managed to avoid them, scrambling back to our feet and dashing off again.

We likely looked like we were having a stroke from all of the times that we would move one direction only to stop short, stumble, fall, scramble backwards, and turn around. The Gamemakers kept turning us backwards and forwards. They were trying to keep us from getting to the beach. But I refused to get cut off again. So when I saw a tree trunk fall straight in front of us, I pushed Finnick forwards and literally threw myself over it. The pain was immediate, but so was the feeling of relief.

Because we were getting closer to the beach. I was not going to die in these Games until I was good and ready. And not for a damned Gamemaker trap. I went sprawling forwards and managed to burn over my arms and legs from the flames that were on the ground. Finnick was burned on his feet and I dashed over to pick him up. That was when I heard the familiar hissing. Finnick heard it, too. He tried to throw me away from him to keep me out of the way. Unfortunately, I only managed to make it a few feet.

"Ah!" I cried out, hitting the ground.

A fireball had skimmed straight over my waist and I fell to the ground in pain. Immediately I knew that it was far deeper than it had been last year. These fireballs were larger and packed more of a punch. The Gamemakers had learned. Finnick had tried to keep me from getting hit but it was too late. I was hit and it was miserable. It wasn't even pain. Pain wasn't enough to describe what I was feeling. The fire had burned straight through the undershirt that I was wearing and had melted the flesh on my side.

This time I was smart enough to look at the wound immediately. It had gone from being a blistered red to a charred black to actually on fire. The flames were licking over my waist, burning the surrounding skin, as Finnick ran over and brushed me off. I was screaming in pain as Finnick attempted to rectify the situation. My skin was now being pulled free of the pieces of shirt that were melted to my skin. I howled in pain as Finnick shoved me off to the side, narrowly avoiding another fireball.

He grabbed me, ignoring my cries of pain as he dragged me off. "Get up! Come on, get up!" Finnick barked.

He wasn't being cruel. He was desperate. We were both desperate to get out of here. With my arm over Finnick, screaming in pain every time that my boiling skin rubbed against his undershirt, we went crashing out onto the beach. The two of us fell in the sand, barely able to breathe from the smoke. Immediately I threw up all of the food that I had gotten today. Partially from the smoke inhalation and partially from the fact that I hadn't been breathing that much during the attack.

Which ended up being good and bad. I hadn't sucked in as many of the poisons from the fire and smoke but I was now desperately trying to get my breath back. We watched as the fireballs stopped shooting off and the fire ceased at the beach line. There was no point in it coming out towards us. The water was right there. We would be able to escape it. Of course it would have also been very painful. My waist was screaming in desperate pain.

I coughed and dry heaved into the beach. We were safe. Somewhat. We had at least managed to make it out of the firestorm. But now came the pain. And it was killing me. It really did feel like being on fire. There was no better way to describe it. Our group were a bit down from us and they hadn't noticed us yet. They must have seen the fire and gotten over it. They were all off in their own minds. Plus, they hadn't heard a cannon to signal that anyone had died. They had no reason to be panicked about us.

They must have just thought that we were still back in the six o'clock sector. They probably hadn't thought that we had managed to walk that far. We hadn't thought so either. The fire began to recede into the trees and I watched as the char marks and fallen trees were removed, that section of the arena being quickly rebuilt. I scowled. My skin wouldn't that easily be put back together. I glanced over at Finnick, who had dropped to the ground. His back was blistering, some of the undershirt having been melted away.

He must have been worse burned than I thought while trying to help me. I probably shouldn't have shoved him over the fallen tree but it was the only way that I could think to get onto the beach. Our group had moved across the board slightly. They were now standing near the ten o'clock sector. Probably to avoid the tsunami. Finnick grabbed me and hooked my arm over his shoulder, limping towards them. We were hanging slightly back towards the trees, hoping not to panic our group.

There had been enough panic for the day. The day... How long had I actually been awake for? It felt like years. I had been awake for most of the past two days. I had only had those precious five or six hours that Cato had essentially forced me to sleep after the Jabberjay attack. We were almost to them when the tsunami began, crashing down to the beach. I could see the rest of the alliance were trying to avoid letting the fish and baskets of water and food get washed away. They had managed just fine.

Some of the water rushed over Finnick and my knees, but we kept our burned torsos away from it. It must have hurt on Finnick's feet that had been burned when I had shoved him over the fallen tree. I would always feel a little bad about that. The water would be lovely, but it was salt, it would feel like hell on the burns. And the Capitol knew it. That was probably why the tsunami was right after the firestorm. To see if anyone that was burned would be desperate enough to use the salt water.

"God, it's like a bad joke," I groaned, barely able to walk.

Glancing down at the wound I saw that it was definitely a third-degree, as Ms. Everdeen would have said. Worse than it had been last year. It was deep red without the blistering from the previous year. At least the top two layers of skin had been completely destroyed. There was a good chance that Sponsors could help - like last year - but I would have to be careful. Finnick tightened his grip on me and continued to move us over towards the alliance.

"Come on, let's get to the camp," Finnick said.

He was more dragging me than I was actually walking. "Two years in a row, huh?" I growled angrily to the sky.

"Somehow this is your fault," Finnick said, not sounding all that angry.

"Girl on Fire, remember?"

"And you wonder why I like water."

"Not right now, I don't."

"At least the burn will distract you from how ugly you are."

"I hate you," I said half-truthfully.

"I know. Hey!" Finnick shouted, startling them. Everyone tightened their grips on their weapons as they searched for the voice. "Over here!"

Cato was the first one to catch onto us. He stood and tossed his sword down into the sand, sprinting after us. The rest of them followed. His eyes dropped onto my singed hair first. He raised a brow before realizing that my legs were blistering slightly. The recognition started to dawn in his eyes. He must have realized that I had been burned again. Finally they shifted onto my waist and widened. He knew the same thing that I did. It was worse than last year.

"Aspen!" Cato shouted, catching up to us.

"Got her?" Finnick asked.

"You're good," Cato said. Finnick allowed him to take half of my weight. "What happened?"

"Don't go in the five o'clock section. Firestorm," I muttered to Cato.

"Again?" Cato asked.

"Again," I confirmed.

"They really hate you."

"The feeling's mutual."

Cato glanced up at the sky. "Thank you, for sending a firestorm after my _pregnant_ wife," he growled loudly enough for the cameras to pick up.

 _Sympathy card. Nice_. Also I was angry, and so was he, that they had burned me again. It worked to everyone's pleasure. Just seconds later an entire meal dropped down just inches from us. There was some type of rare mushroom that I'd only seen once in the Capitol, some type of fancy soup from a swallow bird, truffles, dry-cured ham, a loaf of bread, and a few different types of cheeses. There were only little bits of each, but it would make a wonderful dinner. I pulled out the note.

 _Very good! The Sponsors adore you_ _-E_

"Thanks, Effie," I said, rolling my eyes.

Finnick let my weight drop onto Cato with his approval. Cato walked me over to sit as Johanna and Haymitch took to helping Finnick. Cato seated me in the sand and I groaned as more of my burned skin began to peel off. My entire torso was killing me. Cato took my undershirt and tore it over the entire burn, carefully pulling it out of my wounds. I hissed in pain, pushing my head back into the sand. Cato was gently running his hand over my bare legs.

Just a moment later we started splitting the food between ourselves. Maybe that was why no one spilled the beans about me not really being pregnant. Because it was why we got medicine and food within a few seconds. It helped them just as much as it helped me. The mushrooms were given to me, since there weren't many of them. We all took about four spoonfuls of the soup that had been given to us. It was rich and powerful and more than I had expected to get before my death.

I'd thought that my last meal like this had been breakfast that morning before the Games started. We each took two truffles and two slices of the dry-cured ham and evenly split the loaf of bread between us. Everyone took one cube each of the cheeses. The banquet must have cost some Sponsor a pretty penny. It had likely been a number of different Sponsors. This meal was probably worth more than all of District 12. But we still needed some medicine. We would need medicine to actually do anything for the burns. _The fucking wolf mutt hurt less than this._ And Finnick needed the medicine, too.

"Thanks for getting yourself knocked up," Johanna said, licking her hands.

"You're welcome," I said, almost finding the comment funny.

"Never thought I'd be so happy to be near you," Haymitch said.

"Funny," I snarled.

"You aren't allowed to go off by yourself anymore. You've been injured every time that you do," Cato said.

I laughed softly as Cato grabbed the animal from my belt, tossing it over at Haymitch, who went to skinning our catches. "Might as well keep eating. Who knows how much more time we have," I said.

It was enough to make everyone laugh. "No problem. I'm starving," Haymitch said.

Without the alcohol in his system, I was sure that he was starving. "I'll help," Johanna said.

"And I know," I laughed softly to Cato. "But I can't just do nothing. I have to keep working. Hoping that this thing will be over soon."

The burn was taking everything out of me. "It will be," Cato said.

Just a second later he leaned forward and pressed a small kiss to my forehead. Then he tilted my head upwards and we shared a long and lingering kiss. It was enough to start making my hands shake. From the pain or anticipation, I wasn't sure. We were together for a moment before a ringing package landed next to us. Cato leaned over and grabbed it, calling out for Finnick to come over to us. He needed the burn cream just as much as I did.

"Here," Cato said, handing me the package.

Like the other ones, it was silver and large. Someone definitely felt badly for me being pregnant. Funny... They could kill a twelve-year-old girl but not an unborn baby... I screwed off the top of the cap and opened it. There was a small tube that came out. It smelled very much like our house did whenever we had someone injured coming to have Ms. Everdeen and Prim take care of them. It was a white paste that went straight over the burn. And it probably hurt. I looked over the note and smiled.

 _Apply it once on the burn. Good job, kids! -E_

"Thanks, Effie," I said to the sky, placing the cream over my skin.

"Help with my legs, will you?" I asked.

"Gladly," Cato teased, touching high on my thighs.

"Stop," I giggled.

"Finnick! Come and get yourself healed up," Cato said.

"I've got it," Johanna said, taking the tube and heading to Finnick.

"Why is it always me that gets injured?" I groaned to Cato.

"Because you've got more balls than brain," he answered almost immediately.

I glanced over at him and smiled, leaning back so that I was resting half in his lap. He pressed my hair back off of my sweaty face. "I've certainly got more balls than you," I teased.

Cato said something that I hadn't been expecting after that. "I don't dispute that."

"Really?" I asked.

"I knew it from the last Games. Everything that would have killed someone else, maybe even me, you lived through," Cato said.

He made a fair point. For someone my size and my strength I had managed myself reasonably well during the last Games. It was nice to hear him finally acknowledging just how strong I really was. Because I knew that I was. I laughed loudly at him and leaned in so that the two of us could share a kiss. A lingering kiss that made me long for that day up on the rooftop garden before the Games. Cato ran his fingers through my hair, pulling me close to him while trying to avoid hurting the burn.

"Hey, lovebirds, the rest of us could use some help!" Johanna called, separating the two of us from each other.

"I miss that garden," Cato said, sharing my sentiment.

"Funny. I was just thinking about that."

"Which part?" Cato growled in my ear.

"Watching you sketch me," I said, clearly surprising him.

"Really?"

"Yes."

"It wasn't that good, though."

"It was much better than anything that I could do. But that wasn't what I liked about it."

"What was it?"

"I could tell which part of me made an impact on you. Everything that was drawn more detailed than the rest of it. The things that were accentuated. It told me which parts of me you really noticed."

Cato's grin widened. "You're very observant," he said.

"It's a gift."

"So what did I accentuate on you?"

"My eyes. They were full of life. Even in the picture. There was a sparkle in them."

"It's the sparkle that you get when you smile," Cato admitted. "The same one that you get when something amuses you."

"My mouth. It was parted slightly. The way that it does when I start thinking."

"I've always liked the way that you did that."

"Really?"

"Yes. I like knowing that you think about everything. I like knowing that you don't take things at face value."

"Of course I don't. Or else we would be in a very different situation right now," I pointed out.

"That's true. What else?"

"My hair. There were some strands that were out of place."

"I like that braid that you wear. The one that Katniss taught you. You always have a few flyaway hairs that are in the front of your face. Some that come out of the braid. They look good. And the bangs that never stay in the braid. They curl a little bit."

"You must spend a lot of time staring at me," I teased.

"I do. I always did," Cato shot back.

"I used to stare at you a lot, too."

"I know. I would catch you staring before you would suddenly look away."

"Because I didn't want you seeing me," I said. "Now I'm glad that you did."

The corners of his lips tilted upwards. "What else did you notice?" Cato asked.

"The crinkle in my eyelids."

"That's what happens when you smile."

"Does it?"

"Yes. You wouldn't notice since you scowl so much," Cato said.

Of course, that brought on a scowl. Cato grinned and pressed a hand underneath my chin to give me a lingering kiss. That brought on a smile. We didn't move apart at first, even when Johanna barked at us again. We simply stared and smiled at each other for a moment. Finally I nudged Cato to stand, and let him give me a hand up, clenching my jaws together to keep from screaming at the pain of the burn. It was feeling better but it still hurt beyond belief.

"Come on, we don't need to give her more of a reason to want to kill us," I muttered.

The two of us walked over to the rest of the alliance and began helping them make the rest of our dinner. Even with everything that we had already eaten, people were starving. A moment later another Sponsor package landed. It wasn't much but it was two mugs of tea. Obviously for Cato and me. But we ended up splitting them with everyone else, seeing that they were still keeping the secret. It must have been our loving conversation that brought on the Sponsor package. Afterwards Finnick and I cooked our own catches as Cato and Haymitch went to cooking the fish that Finnick had caught earlier.

Everyone was helping out, doing something around the camp. It was too tense and there were too many nerves for anyone to be lazy. Plus, there were always things to be doing. It made me wonder how I had ever managed to do this by myself. It was so lonely and boring. Beetee was still fiddling with his wire and Johanna was sharpening everyone's weapons. With the hours passing, I felt the burning going down slightly in my waist. But that didn't mean that it didn't still sting with every movement.

The bright moon began to take over the arena, already on the rise, filling the area with the artificial twilight. It would get hard to see each other soon. We had already ate the meat and were now getting ready for the raw meat. It was too hard to make fires. Ironic, considering an entire section of the arena - and myself - had just been on fire. Everyone was silent, lost in their own thoughts, when the anthem began playing throughout the arena over the speakers.

The faces came with them... It took me a while to realize that this many people really had died today. The day felt like it had gone on forever, but really, just some hours ago, Mags was alive. Those faces... Cashmere. Gloss. Wiress. Mags. The woman from District 5. The Morphling who gave her life for Cato. Blight. The man from District 10 that had saved me from the beast. Eight dead. Plus eight from the first night. Two-thirds of us were gone in a day and a half. That had to be some kind of record.

But no one wanted to say the obvious, that by the end of tomorrow, we'd more than likely have our Victor. At least we had today. It could have been worse. There were some very, very, painful moments. But there were some good ones, too. Like the lighthearted conversation that I had just had with Cato. The one that reminded me that somewhere, in another world, we would have been good together. A parachute dropped down with a pile of bite-sized square-shaped rolls a few minutes after the end of the anthem. This time it wasn't for me.

"These are from your District, right, Beetee?" Haymitch asked as he began to pull them from the parachute.

Slowly we all leaned over them. I raised my eyebrows, curious. The rolls were there, but there was no note. The Sponsor packages always came with notes. Even if it was just to wish luck. Why hadn't these come with a note? Of course no one else cared. The only thing that they cared about was the fact that they had gotten more food.

"Yes, from District 3. How many are there?" Beetee asked.

Who cared how many there were? We would split them as evenly as possible. Finnick counted them, turning each one over in his hands before setting it in a neat configuration. The entire thing seemed very strange. Especially considering that I was counting with him. There were twenty-four. That was a lot of bread. Not even that many rolls had been given to Cato and me. The married couple that were evidently having a baby. What sense did that make? Either way, Finnick seemed obsessed with handling them.

"Twenty-four," he finally said.

Things were getting stranger here by the second. Everyone seemed clued in other than Cato and me. And I really didn't like that. "An even two dozen, then?" Beetee asked.

"Twenty-four on the nose," Finnick responded.

"How should we divide them?" I asked, trying to break the tension.

"Just split them evenly," Cato said.

"Let's not. We've already had a lot of food. Just in case we don't get too lucky with hunting or Sponsor packages tomorrow, we should save some of the food," I said.

"Let's each have two, and whoever is still alive at breakfast can take a vote on the rest," Johanna said.

Everyone nodded along with her plan. I didn't mean to, but I let out a little laugh. Probably because it was true. Someone was likely to die in the night. When I did laugh, I thought that Johanna would be furious that I dared laugh at something she said, but instead she gave me a look that was almost approving. No, not approving. But maybe slightly pleased. I was surprised that she wasn't shouting at me for daring to even react to anything that she said.

We all broke off after that, people doing what they needed to do with the last little bit of light that we had. I walked off into the jungle to go and get more water, trying to ignore the fact that something was out there, just waiting for the clock to strike the right time. Theoretically, if we had timed things right, we should have have had a full twelve hours of safety from the jungle. With the exception of the slight flood from the tsunami in nine hours. I walked a small way into the jungle and paused at a tree.

That would be good enough to get some water. I probably should have had a guard with me, but my loaded bow was just an inch away from me and I would be able to grab it in only a second. Placing the spile at the edge of the tree, I reached down for a rock but stopped when I heard voices. My body immediately tensed, but I relaxed quickly. It had to be someone from my group. Chaff and Enobaria were both on their own.

"So tomorrow?" _Haymitch._

"That seems to be the plan." _Beetee._

It probably would have been smarter for me to stay hidden and listen to what they were talking about, but like Cato had said, I had more balls than brain. "What plan?" I asked, jumping out into view.

Both Beetee and Haymitch looked shocked to see me. What were they doing? Had I seen them earlier? Beetee had been messing with his wire the last time that I had seen him. I couldn't remember when I had last seen him. And Haymitch... Where had he been the last time that I saw him? I couldn't remember. Had I caught them trying to plan to kill the rest of us? Haymitch had promised me, but Beetee hadn't. Suddenly I was suspicious and tense again. The happy air was gone.

"The plan to teach you to mind your own business," Haymitch snapped.

"Haymitch," I growled, narrowing my eyes, wanting to know the truth.

"Aspen," he parroted.

"What plan?" I asked.

"The plan to get rid of Enobaria and Chaff. We have to do it before we figure out what to do about the rest of them," Haymitch said.

"Is there a plan?" I asked, still suspicious.

"The beginnings of one," Beetee said, stepping forward and diffusing the tension.

"What is it?" I asked.

"We'll figure it out in the morning," Beetee said.

"We could do it now," I suggested.

"It's late. It's been a long day. And you need to be resting up in your condition," Haymitch said, a warning note in his voice.

Meaning, remember that you're pregnant or I'll kill you. "We should all get to bed," Beetee said.

"Right," I mumbled.

Slowly we walked out onto the beach again. Everyone was settling in, getting ready for the night. Chances were, we wouldn't get to sleep the entire night. "Who wants to take the first watch?" Beetee asked.

"We will," I jumped in for Cato and I before anyone else could.

All eyes shot over to us, but no one said anything about it. "Okay," Haymitch said.

For a moment I had thought that they were going to fight back against me. I had thought that they were going to tell us that we needed to sleep or try and separate us. I was glad that they were allowing us to be together. A few hours of relative alone time. Haymitch immediately went to lay down. Most people went to sleep automatically. Johanna was the only person that remained awake for a while. She was scratching at her axe with a whetstone.

"Damn," Cato said, as we took our seats at the front of the camp. "I would have liked to sleep."

"It's a good time for some alone time while everyone else sleeps," I said.

And it was the truth. As I glanced around, knowing that no one would really fall asleep for a while, I observed everyone without their knowledge. It was one of the rare times that I could do so. Johanna had actually stood, banging her axe against the tree quietly. She was probably imagining my head carved into it. I didn't even know how Johanna was still on her feet. After my five hour nap earlier, she has now had the least amount of sleep. She had only had about an hour of sleep since the Games started.

But, she too, eventually walked over to her things and fell immediately asleep. She must have been exhausted for a long time. I waited patiently for everyone else to fall asleep because I really did want some time alone with Cato. I had become so used to it in the first Games. It felt strange to have so many people around in these Games. I couldn't imagine how the Careers did it. Especially considering that they weren't friends with each other. The tension must have been horrible.

The others in the alliance went out immediately, although Finnick's sleep was restless. Every now and then I heard him murmuring Annie's name. I felt terrible for him, facing away. I knew just how upset he was. Cato and I were sitting on the damp sand, facing away from each other, my right shoulder and hip pressed against his. I watched the water and he watched the jungle. We had decided that silently. I was haunted by something in nearly all of the sections. He knew that.

So far Cato hadn't had as bad of a time in the sections as I had, with the exception of the poison fog. But he had missed the Beat and the firestorm, just like he had last year. After a while I leaned my head back against his shoulder. It didn't take long to feel his hand start caressing my hair. Something that I had always liked, and he knew. Finally I couldn't stand the silence anymore. I had to say something about the elephant in the arena.

"Are you okay?" I asked softly, trying not to wake up anyone else.

"I'm fine," Cato immediately answered.

"No, you aren't," I snapped back.

There was no way that he was okay. I knew what he looked like when he was okay, and that wasn't the way that he was right now. "I am, Aspen," Cato insisted.

"No, you aren't. I know when you're lying."

"Aspen," Cato warned, in a voice that only a Career could have.

"Cato," I mimicked, no longer afraid of him.

"Drop it."

"It's like you don't know me at all."

"I'm married to you. I think that I know you at least a little bit."

"I'd certainly hope so. After..." I trailed off, hoping that he would take the joke.

But he didn't. He was still tense. He let out a deep breath. "I'd like to go back to that night. Any of those nights," Cato mumbled.

"Me too. Just answer me. You haven't seem right since this morning. With the Jabberjay incident," I said softly.

Cato turned back, and for a moment I left my guard, turning the other half of the way to face him. "You're my wife, Aspen. My _wife_ ," he said harshly.

"I know," I said, sighing, well-aware about where this conversation was going.

"The one thing that a man is supposed to do is be able to protect his wife."

"No one said that you had to."

"I did," Cato barked.

"You've done fine."

"You're not stupid. Don't act it."

"I'm not. Cato, everything that's happened is because of my own idiocy. You weren't even around for half of it."

"I should have been."

"You couldn't be. It's okay," I whispered.

"Look at this. At all of it. You've been hurt more since the wedding than ever before."

"That's not necessarily true."

"It is. I made a vow, and I haven't been able to keep it," Cato said angrily.

He wasn't angry with me. He was angry with himself. For feeling like he hadn't done anything to help me. "Maybe not with the wolf mutt," I said, attempting a joke.

It didn't work. Cato turned away from me. Clearly he was done with this conversation. He was a Career and, for once, he was feeling weak. Because he couldn't save me. At least, he felt like he couldn't. And I knew that he couldn't. Because he was going to be the one that would be leaving the arena. Not me. Not because he couldn't save me, but because I didn't want it to be me. Because I couldn't live without him. And because Cato was the better person, no matter what I had originally told myself.

I wanted to say something more, to tell him that he was protecting me, but I couldn't bring myself to lie to him. And that was what it would have been. A lie. I couldn't tell him that he was protecting me just fine. Because he wasn't. In this place, in the Games, anywhere in the reach of the Capitol, he would never be able to keep me safe. So I decided that being silent was my better option, reaching back and grabbing Cato's hand tightly. Whether or not he could protect me, I would always love him.

But again, the silence only lasted for so long before I finally spoke again. "We need to talk," I said.

"I don't want to talk about that anymore," Cato snapped.

"That's not what I meant."

"So what's it about?" Cato asked.

I sighed and turned towards him slightly. He needed to hear everything. Because I needed him to understand why I was about to suggest what I was. "I overheard something earlier, between Haymitch and Beetee. They were talking about a plan, tomorrow. When they saw that I had overheard them, they said that they were planning to get rid of Enobaria and Chaff," I told him.

Cato didn't seem to understand what I was getting at. "But that's a good thing," he said.

"No," I immediately responded. "Why wouldn't they have talked about it in front of everyone else?"

It was part of my nature to overthink things, but it was probably part of the reason that I was still alive. It was the reason that I had made it so far in the Games. So far in the reaches of the Capitol. Because I overthought everything. It was how I'd figured out the notes and Sponsor gifts, Plutarch's warning and Seneca's odd personality, Snow's warnings and Cato's feelings. I simply had to think. Otherwise I always felt like there was something more that I could have done.

"Maybe you're overthinking it," Cato suggested.

Perhaps. But it was always better to be safe than sorry. "I'm not, Cato. Tell me that you're not the slightest bit nervous that they're all going to overpower us and kill us off," I said.

"They might but we're stronger. You know that."

"Maybe. But they're angry. You know what anger does to people."

"Yes. I do," Cato said, probably remembering the Tracker Jacker incident.

"Repentance for being in the Games in the first place," I said.

"Of course. We always have to be careful but -"

That was when Cato went silent, looking off into the trees. But I was lost. What was happening? What was he catching onto that I hadn't caught up with yet? Usually I was the one that spotted things first. But he was a Career and he was fine-tuned to things that happened in the arena. And that was when I felt it. The thing that had first tipped Cato off a second beforehand. Everyone else felt it, too, as they slowly began to rise. The ground was starting to shake and I felt so stupid for thinking that the beach might have been a safe place. It clearly wasn't.

Nowhere in here was safe. And we were about to understand why. It wasn't the wave. It wasn't some mind-altering horror. And it wasn't a herd of some life-threatening mutt. It was something much worse. Something that we couldn't outrun, because it was heading straight towards us. It was something that was going to chase us into the jungle. Our only option. And, unfortunately, it was far too late for us to get out of dodge. An earthquake was coming straight at us.

 **A/N:** Here's another fully edited chapter. **Please review!** Until next time -A

 **Fire'sCatching: Thank you! Sorry this update took a while.**

 **melliemoo: Thanks for both of your reviews! I know, Aspen can get a little down on herself and self-pitying. I've tried to make it a little less because of your review, I hope that it worked. She will accept her fate, but it will take some time. Hope you continue to enjoy!**


	19. Chapter 19

At first the ground was merely shaking. I had never been in an earthquake before. They didn't happen out in District 12. They might have happened in other Districts. But the look that Johanna, Beetee, and Finnick were giving me told me that they had never been through an earthquake either. And if the Gamemakers were planning this earthquake, there was a good chance that it was going to be fatal. I thought that there was a chance that we might be able to wait out the earthquake.

But one large split in the ground near where we were sleeping broke me from my trance. There was no way that we could wait. It was enough for everyone to rise from their spots on the ground and quickly collect all of our things. Just in case we had to make a sudden break for it. The ground began to tremor slightly before giving a larger split up the middle of the sector. The sudden change in earth caused the sector to jerk to the side, knocking nearly everyone onto their backs.

It was time to leave. I gasped slightly as a wave shot up from the beach, nearly pulling me back into the water with it. I grabbed onto Cato's hand and let him pull me back to my feet, away from the water. He was dragging me back to my feet so that the rough wave wouldn't pull me back in and drown me. What had started as a little bit of shaking had quickly become very dangerous. As was normal in the Games. I began to back away from the beach, knowing that the water was probably more dangerous than the solid ground.

We would drown under the harsh waves. I wasn't in the mood to drown again. The first of the trees fell a few moments after the earthquake had started and I noticed everyone begin to move a little closer towards each other. I tried to look for a way into another piece of the beach but I quickly realized that the sand was receding, leaving us unable to get into another wedge. At least not from here. We would have to try our luck with the jungle, where trees were falling and branches were snapping.

The waves were lapping up onto the beach and I gasped, desperate to find a way out of here. There was no way that we could get off of the sandy beach. It was pulling back and leaving a large gap. Who knew what awful and life-threatening thing was at the bottom? I certainly didn't want to know. We had to do something. We couldn't just stand here. And with the way that the ground was shaking by now, it was almost impossible to stand. It felt like I was drunk and woozy.

"Run! Get out of the sector!" I shouted.

That was all that it took for everyone to move into gear. We had been hoping to linger and just wait it out but there was no way that we could stay here. With the splits in the ground we were going to end up falling straight into the abyss below. Gathering up the last of the things that we needed, everyone took off back into the trees. We were all throwing our weapons onto our backs, knowing that there was no use in having them right now. All we could do was run.

It was just like the fog and the Jabberjay's and the firestorm. No way to fight. Just flee. I darted off through the jungle with Cato at my side. Finnick was running first, slashing at the vines and trees that were in front of us so that we could run without being stopped. But it wasn't long before the trees began to collapse and we were forced to split up. Finnick had Beetee with him so that he could protect the older man. Finnick and Johanna were sprinting together, cutting through the dense forest.

Where was Haymitch? Where the hell was he? I turned back and saw that he was just a few feet behind us. He was safe enough. As another tree fell near the edge of the sector - very nearly crushing Cato and me - we turned back and were forced to go another pathway from the others. Cato grabbed me and pulled me away from the recently fallen tree, but I stopped in my tracks. Finally I understood why it seemed impossible to get out of the sector. Because it was. The edges of the sector were pulling back.

It was actually shrinking so that there was no way that we could get into either the eight o'clock or ten o'clock sectors. All that was left as the ground receded was a deep abyss. I couldn't imagine what was at the bottom and I was sure that I didn't want to find out. All I knew was that no one could make the jump successfully. It was too far. Our only choices were to either continue running or risk drowning in the ocean. So we settled with continuing to run through the woods as we headed towards one of the sectors.

Our only chance was to get as far away from the center of the action as possible and wait it out. As Cato and I launched ourselves over another crack coming up the middle of the sector, we were forced onto opposite ends of the split. He was keeping me in my sights as we ran. As per usual, I had chosen the wrong side. As soon as I had regained my balance, a rather large tree split at the base of the trunk and collapsed right towards me. Gasping slightly, I stumbled out of the way and threw myself forward.

Most of the impact had avoided me. A few splinters from the tree trunk were now stuck in my bare arm and legs, but I would be able to manage. It was my leg that was really bothering me. I had landed in a somewhat awkward sprawl in a desperate attempt to get away from the trees and I groaned as I rolled my ankle. I would be fine. I just had to get away from here. I began to drag myself back to my feet, slipping on the leaves that had come down with the tree and unsteady from the shaking of the ground.

As the ground took a large lurch to the side, I collapsed again. "Aspen!" Cato yelled.

He darted up to me and grabbed me underneath my arms. "I'm alright. I'm alright," I insisted, allowing him to pull me back to my feet.

"Is it broken?" Cato asked.

"No, just rolled."

"Give me your arm. Come on!"

"Okay. Okay. Come on, let's go!" Cato yelled.

The two of us darted off again, with Cato keeping me mostly supported. We had to slow down slightly so that I could run without having to be completely dragged along. Cato's arm was around me so that I could actually run, using him to support most of my weight. We were running with me in an awkward limp. As we ran I tested my ankle gently to make sure that there was nothing that would affect me with the Games. It wasn't broken or sprained, I could tell from the lack of pain.

It was just twisted in an awkward angle from the fall. I knew that I would be fine in a few minutes. I just had to run it off. Hopefully we would be out of here in time for my ankle to regain itself. Hopefully we wouldn't have to run for the next hour. It was difficult for the two of us to run together so I eventually had to separate myself from him. Cato looked panicked to let me go but I had to do it. We would end up hurting each other if we tried to stay together. Thankfully my ankle was strong enough to support myself.

More than once I had to duck back and forth through the falling branches and trees, barely able to get out of the way. I could see that the others were having a hard time avoiding them, but none more so than me. Snow was trying very hard to kill me. The trees continued to collapse around me and branches smashed straight into the ground. I kept having to jump up and over the huge trunks that were stopping us from making it to the far side of the sector. We had to be careful.

There was only a matter of time before the trees would kill everyone. Another tree gave a large crack and began to fall. I was barely able to launch after Cato and knock him out of the way. The two of us went sprawling together and landed on top of each other. We rolled through the forest floor for a moment before shoving each other back upright. I could hear more cracking all around us and I knew that we had to keep moving. My head was spinning from the impact but Cato grabbed me again.

We continued sprinting towards the edge of the sector when I saw that everyone else was just ahead of us. I was glad to be back around them. Another tree began to fall as I ducked out of the way, spotting Johanna standing at the edge of the abyss. She was backing away and making a move to jump over the abyss and away from the earthquake. For a moment I stopped and hesitated. I knew that I should let her jump and die. It would make one less person in the field. But something stopped me from allowing her to fall to her death.

"Don't! Don't jump! You can't make it!" I shouted.

Johanna whipped back around, looking furious that I had interrupted her concentration. "Are you crazy? We can't stay!" she howled back.

"No! Stay!" Haymitch yelled.

"What do we do?" Finnick called.

"We have to move. Find a place to wait it out!" Cato yelled.

A place to wait it out. Where the hell would we be able to wait it out? I couldn't tell. There was nowhere that really looked like we would be able to go. We would be trapped like rats until the hour was over. Just like with the Jabberjay's. That was the truth. We did have to move away from here. We couldn't just wait for all of the trees to fall and crush us. But we couldn't jump to our deaths either. It left only the option of hiding.

"We can't stay here!" Johanna shouted.

"We have to. Come on. Away from the trees!" I called to everyone.

The only thing that I could think to do was run back to the woods. Hopefully there would be a place in the jungle where all of the trees had already fallen. We could hide out in a clearing or something. Instead, we got something even better. We ran for about half of a mile before finding a small cave that was out of the way of the larger trees. Everyone came to the same conclusion quickly. We all managed to cram ourselves inside of it, each of us tucking ourselves into the other.

The ground was violently shaking as pieces of rock and branches smashed into us. Not breaking anything, but just enough to startle us. I had my head in Finnick's chest as Cato was tucked over my back. We ended up having to hide together for nearly half an hour before the earthquake and aftershocks seemed to finally stop. We waited for another five minutes before finally deciding to try and leave the cave. Everyone unfurled themselves from each other and looked out towards the devastation of the sector.

"Should we check?" Finnick asked.

"Sure. The cave is right here if they start again," I said.

"Johanna," Finnick said.

Glancing back, I saw that her eye was bleeding. "Did you get hit by something?" I asked.

"Piece of rock cracked back there and hit me. I'll be fine," Johanna said.

"I'll get you some moss," I offered.

Mostly since she had gotten me water after the Jabberjay incident and had saved me from the spinning Cornucopia. In all honesty, I was concerned that one of the Gamemakers would start the earthquakes again, but I was sure that we had moved into the ten o'clock sector by now. This one was no longer active. So we all disentangled ourselves from each other and slipped out of the cave. I could immediately tell that the sector had stretched back to its normal size. I could see now that the abyss was gone.

The waves on the beach were gone but the water was still lapping at the shore furiously. At least we would be able to stay back on the beach now. Trees were fallen everywhere and branches were making our trek back to the beach very difficult. I had a feeling that a Gamemaker would correct the damage once we were gone. Finally we made it back to our original camp. I glanced back and saw that - other than looking very tired - everyone seemed to be alright. Johanna was the only one injured.

"Here," I said, handing her some moss.

"Thanks," she said, allowing Haymitch to press it over her eye.

"Is everyone okay?" I asked.

"Damn it, I haven't run this much in years," Haymitch complained.

"It'll be good for your beer gut," I teased.

The others laughed, something humorlessly and sounding very exhausted, but didn't say anything else. Haymitch was shooting me a nasty glare out of the corner of his eyes. I was about to apologize but that was when I noticed that Finnick had laid Beetee back on the ground. My stomach twisted in knots. What had happened? I'd heard no cannon but that sector was loud. Beetee's head was lolling back and forth on his shoulders and he was bleeding from his temple slightly.

"Beetee, are you alright?" I asked.

Finnick stepped forward and leaned over Beetee, trying very hard to get him to come back to. "I had him. He's fine. Passed out. A falling branch hit him pretty hard over the head. He's coming back to," Finnick said.

Nodding at him, I turned back and glanced towards the devastation of the sector. "We should get out of here," I muttered.

"I'll get Beetee," Finnick offered.

"I'll get the baskets," I said.

"No. Keep guard. I've got them," Haymitch said.

The eight of us headed back towards the beach so that we could set up camp again. Not that it mattered. We would likely move on soon enough. The only thing we needed to do was get far away from the nine o'clock sector and ensure that we stayed far away from the poison fog. The last thing that we needed was to be killed by the fog after barely escaping it the first time or get killed by an aftershock of the earthquake. We just had to find a place to relax for a few hours and figure out our next move.

As we left the jungle and headed back towards the beach I glanced back and noticed that the sector was starting to rearrange itself. The Gamemakers must have been rebuilding it to potentially draw someone back in. Once the sector was reattached to the rest of the arena, as we were all watching, we moved on. We all walked in silence for a long time. No one wanted to say anything and make the already tense air even worse. But, as always, Johanna was the one to say what no one else wanted to.

"Just when I thought that they might take a break from trying to kill us," she scoffed.

Both Finnick and Haymitch laughed at her. Cato smirked slightly and Beetee was still out like a light. My hand was on my bow with the string drawn, but I had a feeling that nothing was out here. Would I even notice something coming? Probably not. My mind was a little preoccupied. I still managed to shake my head. I had been thinking about it on the way back to the beach and I had realized something.

"No. That section wasn't designed to kill the Tributes," I said.

Johanna's head snapped back. "What the hell are you talking about?" she barked.

Resisting the urge to throw an axe through her skull, I let out a deep breath. "It's not designed to kill people," I repeated.

"So what is it designed for?" Cato asked.

"It's designed to test them. You saw the ways that the trees were falling and ground was splitting. It's designed to push people as far out to the sides as it can and test if they're brave enough to jump. If you're paying attention you should realize that you're better off staying where you are and waiting it out. If you panic and jump... Not even a top-tier Career could make that jump," I explained.

As Johanna opened her mouth - probably to tell me just how wrong I was - Beetee piped up, seemingly roused from the hit earlier. "Aspen is right," Beetee said.

"Thank you," I said sweetly.

"It's designed to test the panic response in the human brain. We're lucky that she figured it out and warned everyone not to jump," Beetee muttered.

His speech was slightly slurred. I could tell that he had been hit pretty hard over the head and wasn't completely back yet. "I wouldn't want to think of what's at the bottom," Haymitch said.

A sharp shiver shot over my spine. "Something to make you regret jumping," I said.

There was a tense silence for a few minutes as we walked. "What hour was that?" Haymitch finally asked, breaking the silence.

"Nine," Cato answered.

"Which ones don't we know?" Johanna asked.

"Seven and eight," I said.

"Good. We've got ten hours before those come back around," Beetee said.

I wasn't really keen on figuring out what those two were. "We need to stay away from there. The Games will be over in a few days. We might be able to get away without figuring it out," I said.

"We just steer clear of them when they're active," Finnick said.

"Come on. Let's get out of here," I said, motioning the others to walk.

It was somewhere a little after ten. Not that late but it was getting dark and there was nothing better to do. Just like last year in the arena, we all went to sleep early. The six of us all nodded to each other as we collected the things that we needed. Not that there was very much. I went digging through my waistband and frowned. A few things had been damaged in the earthquake but we did still have the spile. And that was the important thing. The only thing that we really couldn't be without was water.

But there was one thing that I was missing. The pearl that Cato had given me on the first day was gone. At some point over the past day and a half I had lost it. Probably when we had spun in the Cornucopia. It was likely taken out when I hit the water. The one present that Cato had given me was gone and I couldn't get it back. So I sighed sadly and realized that it was too late to get it back, as much as I wished that I still had it. At least the Sponsors would be giving us the food that we needed.

We headed near the eleven o'clock sector a moment later as the Jabberjay's started up their chorus of screams. Our new campsite would keep us safe. The insects were annoying but I was reasonably confident that they didn't come out onto the beach. And I really didn't want to be around the Jabberjay's. Once we'd set up our entire camp and everyone had moved into their places, I glanced back at the others. I had already been on watch and now I was positive that I couldn't sleep.

"I'll take watch," I said.

"I'll stay up too," Cato immediately offered.

Not that it surprised everyone. We had been together just moments before. Back before the earthquake had struck. And we hadn't been able to speak to each other that long. The moment that I had volunteered to stay up and watch, Haymitch and Beetee had gone straight to sleep. We liked to have two people on watch at all times so they knew that Cato would volunteer. Finnick nodded and headed back towards the mangrove trees.

"Works for me," Johanna finally agreed.

It was always Johanna that wanted to hesitate the longest before allowing Cato and I to be together. I was no fool. I knew that she just wanted to make sure that we weren't plotting. Of course, I was plotting to do something. We couldn't stay much longer. It was only a matter of time before one of us wanted to make the move away from the others. I paced back and forth through the campsite as everyone drifted off. Haymitch and Beetee were out like a light almost instantly, as usual.

Finnick shifted around for a while before finally falling asleep. His sleep was always rather restless. Even before Mags had died. Johanna remained awake for well over an hour before finally relaxing. I couldn't imagine how she had slept like that for the past five years, since she had won her own Games. Finally I found myself sick of walking the campsite and made a move to join Cato. The two of us seated ourselves on the damp sand, facing away from each other, with my right shoulder and hip pressed against his.

It was just the way that we had been sitting before the earthquake had started. I liked being like this. Just touching him. For a long time the two of us were silent. There wasn't much to say. Not after the conversation that the earthquake had interrupted. When did we leave? There really wasn't a good choice. So I settled for keeping watch. I watched the water and he watched the jungle, which was better for me. In the back of my mind, I kept replaying the voices of the Jabberjay's.

Their sector was currently active, and even though the insects were already starting to buzz, they still couldn't manage to drown out the screams of everyone that I held dear to me. It seemed like the hour was even longer than it was in the afternoon. At least then I could scream. For now I merely settled on leaning back and trying to block out the noises, thinking of anything else. Even the silly moments like when I was a kid and would dump water on Gale to wake him up.

It was funny at the time. I would go shrieking and darting through the Square to ensure that he didn't catch me. Even Katniss had joined in from time to time. I was usually able to dodge him, but once he had thrown me into the now-dry fountain after catching me. The memory brought a smile to my face. After a long time of silence, I leaned back to rest my head against his shoulder. Just a few moments later I felt his hand come back up to twirl my hair around his fingers.

"Aspen, it's no use pretending we don't know what the other one is trying to do," Cato whispered.

Of course I should have known that we were going to end up talking about this. It was just a part of the same conversation that we had been having before the earthquake had struck. It was the one conversation that I had been hoping that we could get away without having to talk about it. I didn't want to talk about it. He was right in one way. There was no use for either one of us to pretend that we didn't know what the other would do. We already knew.

Try everything that we possibly could to ensure that the other would be able to live to be the Victor and try to move on with their own lives. It sounded so simple but it was terrible to discuss. At least, for us, it was terrible. Despite the late hour, the Capitol viewers would be glued to their sets so that they didn't miss out on one wretched word. They would want to know which one of us was planning on killing ourselves. They would just have to wait and see, because even I didn't know yet.

Neither one of us looked at the other, mostly so that we could pretend that we were actually sitting watch, but I was desperate to turn around and see the look on his face. The look on his face that would tell me that he was going to do anything possible to save me at the end. Or maybe I didn't want to see the pain that must have been written across it. I didn't want to see just how awful he was looking. Just how much trouble he was having with all of this.

"I don't know what kind of deal you think you've made with Haymitch, but you should know he made me promises as well," Cato continued.

For a long time I really couldn't figure out why he'd told me that. We just say there in silence, neither one of us speaking. Cato's hand was pulled back and slowly drawing patterns into my hip. He was more of an artist than I had thought that he was. But his previous words were still bouncing around inside of my head. Maybe he had just done it for the cameras. But maybe he hadn't. Sometimes it was hard to know when he was telling me the truth or when he was acting for the cameras.

Sometimes I didn't even remember that there were cameras around us. They were harder to see this year than normal. But Cato was always the smarter of us and he was always the better actor. He knew how to make the scene feel real to me and look real to the audience. My thoughts finally turned back to his last comment. I was no fool. I knew what he meant, and so did he. Haymitch had told Cato that they could keep me alive so that Cato wouldn't be suspicious.

"So I think we can assume he was lying to one of us," Cato continued.

As much as I wanted to look off into the distance and try to warp my faces into something of confusion or pain, that comment got my attention. Instead of looking pained or telling him that he was lying to me - which would have only been another lie - I found myself getting a little nervous. Were Cato's words the truth? Could Haymitch have made a double deal? A double promise. With only Haymitch knowing which one was real.

There was no way that he would tell me which one was real. Not even if I woke him up right now and slapped him around, trying to get him to tell me the truth. He wouldn't tell either one of us the truth. No matter how much I begged him. He would never tell which one of us who he was being truthful with. I raised my head and turned, meeting Cato's eyes. There was only one way that we were going to find out the truth. Maybe I would get to watch it in hell.

"Why are you saying this now?" I asked, knowing that I had to say something.

"Because I don't want you forgetting how different our circumstances are. If you die, and I live, there's no life for me at all back in District 2. You're my whole life. I would never be happy again," Cato said.

My heart gave a painful thump in my chest as I thought about what he had just told me. That wasn't the truth. It couldn't have been the truth. There were so many people that wanted him to live. Maybe even more people than wanted me to live. He did have people around that would be able to make his life worth living. He had both of his parents back at his house. He had three siblings, a niece, and two best friends back in District 2. There were plenty of things back there for him.

For a moment I wondered if it was something that he had just said for the cameras, but the moment that I glanced back, I realized that it wasn't for the cameras. He was telling the truth. Like he had said before, I was his redeeming quality. I was the person that meant the world to him. I opened my mouth to start to object but he placed a finger against my lips. It was enough to tell me that this wasn't for the cameras. Any of it. All of this was just for the two of us.

"It's different for you. I'm not saying it wouldn't be hard. But there are other people who'd make your life worth living," he continued.

Watching out of the corner of my eyes, I saw Cato pull the chain with the gold disk from around his neck. It was the same present that Effie had given him before we had gone into the Games this time. My eyebrow quirked up in confusion. His wedding band was looped into the necklace. It must have been counted as one token. My ring was on my finger, while the Mockingjay pin and button that Seneca Crane had given me were hidden. Cato grabbed my hand and pulled me to face him, angling us just slightly so that if someone or something tried to sneak up on us, we would be able to see them beforehand.

Cato showed it to me and held it in the moonlight so that I could clearly see the Mockingjay on the front. I hadn't even realized that there was a Mockingjay on it the first time that I'd seen it. Other than the moment that Effie had given it to him, I had never really seen it before. Glancing downwards, I watched as he slid his thumb along a catch on the side of the necklace that I hadn't noticed before. But obviously he had known what it was as he seemed confident, watching the disk pop open.

It wasn't solid, as I had originally thought, but a locket. Cato handed the locket over to me and I glanced at it. Within the locket were two photos. On the right side was Katniss, Prim, and their mother, laughing happily. It had been so long since I had seen any of them smile. On the left side was Gale. Actually smiling. One of his rare smiles usually reserved for us. My heart dropped into my stomach. There was nothing in the world that could ever manage to break me faster at that moment than those four faces.

After what I had heard this afternoon, I wasn't sure whether it made me feel better or completely heartbroken to have to see the pictures. "Your family needs you, Aspen," Cato said softly.

My family. Not that any of them were really family in blood. Katniss and Prim, both like my sisters. Mrs. Everdeen, who was more like a mother than anyone else. And Gale... Just Gale. Despite the fact that they thought that we were cousins, Gale and I were not related. Maybe extremely distantly, as so many people in the Seam were, but it was a _very_ distant relation. I was no fool. I knew exactly what it was that Cato was trying to tell me. The things that he couldn't tell me with the Capitol audience watching.

The fact that Gale really was my family, or would be one day, if I managed to live through the Games. He was trying to tell me that our marriage would end the moment that the Games were over. As far as he was concerned, I was the one person that would walk out of this arena and I would have to have another life after him. So there was only one thing that all of that could mean. He meant that one day I would marry Gale. It broke my heart.

In that one minute, Cato had given me his life and Gale at the same time. It was so much more than I deserved. He was letting me know that I shouldn't ever have doubts about the two of us being together once Cato was gone. The Capitol might never let me move on after the Games - as they would think that I should be in mourning for the rest of my life - but Gale and I could be together in private. Behind the scenes. Everything... That was what Cato wanted me to take from him.

My hand went out to lay on top of his leg as I fought back the tears. The audience back in the Capitol must have been beside themselves with tears. I waited for him to mention the baby, to play to the cameras, but he never did. That was how I knew that none of it was a part of the Games. I knew that he was telling me the truth about his feelings. Cato's voice brought me out of my deprecating thoughts.

"No one really needs me," he said, with no self-pity in his voice.

That sent another wave of hurt over my entire body. My grip on his hand was tightening slightly. My hand was shaking on top of his own as Cato brought it up to his mouth, pressing a small kiss against it. I broke away only for a minute to wipe a tear out of my eyes. I knew what he meant. To be completely fair, it was absolutely true that his family didn't need him. Their family had enough money that they didn't need to live on his winnings from last years' Games.

That would provide the main problem for my own family. Cato's parents had other children to focus on and his siblings had others to interact with. They would end up mourning him, as would the large amount of friends that he had from the Academy. But they would get on. That was the nature of things back in District 2. Dying in the Games was a privilege. With time, everyone would move on. It didn't take me long to realize that only one person would be damaged beyond repair if Cato died. Me.

"I do. I need you," I said honestly.

As much as I loved Gale, he would never be Cato. There were just so many things that Gale couldn't do for me. As much as I wished that he could. Cato was my husband and the love of my life. That was what broke my heart. Even in the event that Cato died and I was brought back to District 12, even with Gale there, I wouldn't be able to be with him. Because Cato would always have my heart. He looked upset and I saw him take a deep breath as if to begin a long argument.

We had been in enough arguments about the same thing that I knew that it wouldn't be any good. We both knew how these arguments ended. He would start going on about Prim and Katniss and Ms. Everdeen and everything else that I couldn't remember at the moment and I would just get confused. So before he got the chance to talk or otherwise start an argument, I leaned in and kissed him. At first I could tell that Cato was trying to push me back so that he could speak to me.

But I was done talking for now. He was probably thinking the same thing that I was. We only had so much time left that we would be able to kiss each other. There was also only so much more time that we would be able to speak to each other, but I didn't care. The only thing that we would manage to do right now would be argue. So I wanted to do the one thing that I knew that we were both good at. It was the one thing that we had been good at even before we had even liked each other.

After a few failed attempts, Cato finally decided to give up on talking. That was the only thing that I wanted. No more talking. It didn't matter anyways. Because Cato was going to live and I was going to have no more problems the moment that I died. Cato's hand went up behind my neck as he kept the two of us pressed together. Smiling softly, I allowed him to push me back into the sand slightly. It was still warm from the sun during the day, despite having been dark now for hours.

The sand curled in between my toes and against every inch of my bare skin as his hands gently pushed at my arms. One other hand came up to tangle in my salt-soaked hair from the ocean water. My own hands dropped down to his muscular chest. All I could think was that the leeches in the Capitol were hoping that this would go even further. Instead, the two of us backed away from each other, pressing a few small kisses against the others' lips before separating.

But I did grab him back to kiss him a few more times. He smiled down at me and nuzzled against my throat, making me laugh under my breath. The moment like this... These were the ones that I wanted him to remember about us. Despite the fact that I had originally wanted to kiss him just to keep from having to argue with him about one of our deaths, I now found myself only wanting more. So I merely settled for letting him push the hair back off of my forehead and kiss his forehead.

"I want you to have everything that you want in life," Cato said.

His hand was lingering on the side of my face, gently keeping me near him. "You. I want you," I whispered back.

"Something else," he said.

"You're all that I want."

"And you have me. Now and forever. You know that."

"But -"

"No matter what. Even after I die, you'll always have my heart. You're the only person that ever could."

"You, too," I said, my voice cracking.

"Tell me what you want," Cato prodded gently.

Knowing that this was my chance to make things a little less serious, I smiled at him and gently nudged his shoulder. "I've always wanted a dog," I admitted.

Cato's brows rose as he made something that sounded a little bit like a laugh and a scoff. "Really?" he asked.

"Yes."

"I thought you didn't like animals?"

"You remember that?" I asked, remembering telling him that at President Snow's party last year.

"Of course. I remember everything that you've told me."

"Well... I don't like Prim's cat."

"I've never seen her cat."

"It's the world's ugliest cat. Mashed-in nose, half of one ear missing, eyes the color of rotting squash. Prim named him Buttercup, insisting that his muddy yellow coat matched the bright flower. He hates me. Katniss, too. Or at least distrusts me. Even though it was years ago, I think that he still remembers how we tried to drown him in a bucket when Prim brought him home," I said.

"You tried to drown a cat?" Cato asked.

"You should have seen him. Scrawny kitten, belly swollen with worms, crawling with fleas. The last thing we needed was another mouth to feed. But Prim begged so hard, cried even, that we had to let him stay. It turned out okay. Ms. Everdeen got rid of the vermin and he was a born mouser. Even caught the occasional rat. Sometimes, when we cleaned a kill, we fed Buttercup the entrails. That was when he stopped hissing at us."

"Sounds like a charming animal."

"See why we hated him? Lately we've gotten along better. He doesn't like the new house in Victor's Village so when we go to check on the old houses he's there. We'll feed him. Scratch his chin."

"Not a cat person, then?" Cato asked.

"Nope. Although I do kind of like dogs."

"You've never told me that."

There were so many things that I'd never told him. There were so many things that I was never going to get the chance to tell him. "It wasn't something that I thought was important. I thought that we'd get to have the rest of our lives to tell each other stupid things like that. I didn't realize that the end of our lives would be so close," I muttered, gently running my hands over his own.

Cato had been smiling at me until my last comment. "Not yours," he snapped quickly.

I sighed and gave him a weak smile, feeling a little bad for saying what I had. "Okay," I whispered.

"Get yourself a dog when this is all over. Something new for you to love."

A smile had fallen back over his face and I nodded. Katniss would flip if I brought a dog home. If there was someone who hated animals even more than I did, it was Katniss. She hated the cat enough. But if I brought a dog home... It wasn't even the fact that we would have to feed them. She just hated having them around unless she could kill them. I wasn't even sure where I could possibly get a dog. But it would be nice to have something with me for me to love.

"I'll name it after you," I teased.

Cato's barking laughter rang out through the camp. "Am I that much of a dog?" he asked.

"Do you remember yourself during the Games last year?" I shot back.

The two of us both laughed at my words. I could practically picture him springing the kiss on me at the party before the Games. The way that his hand had lingered a little too low on my waist. The other kiss that his had sprang on me before the Interviews and the heated one that we had shared on the roof. All of the times that he had cornered me during the Games and the time back in the cave. Every passing comment that he'd made to me before and after the Games.

He had made me furious at the time, but now I found it something almost funny to look back on. It was a moment that I would cherish until the moment of my death. As I reminisced on the moments of our past, Cato grabbed me and pulled me into him. I laughed loudly as he yanked me onto the sand with him and we went rolling over each other. I had a feeling that Gale and Katniss were probably shrieking at us to get up and pay attention to the sky and ensure that we weren't going to be attacked.

It was the truth. Someone could sneak up on us at any given moment. But I couldn't bring myself to care. We would be fine. The others - Chaff and Enobaria - were likely on the other side of the arena. The only thing that I wanted was to stay locked in my embrace with my husband. One of his hands was on the small of my back as the other was knotted in my hair, the kiss only becoming more intense with each passing moment. _If only there weren't cameras._ Or did I even care anymore?

"Hey, lovebirds!" Johanna shouted from the campsite. The two of us sprung apart as I shot upright and moved back to sit against Cato's shoulder again. "Pay attention to the horizon. If we get hit with one more damn natural disaster..."

Within a moment I knew that she was back asleep. She had very soft breathing that indicated that she wasn't awake anymore. Cato and I relaxed as I laughed at the feeling of being caught by her. "You know, when she's gone, I think I might actually miss her," I whispered.

"That'll make one of us," Cato whispered back.

Laughing softly so that we didn't accidentally wake up Johanna, I moved forward and pressed another kiss against Cato's lips. We stayed together for another long span of time. Very long. Minutes passed. Could hours have even passed it? It felt like it. It was long enough for the noisy insects to cease their clicking. So the two of us merely stayed together, our panting breaths the only noise in the arena. His touch only heating me up even more.

It was the first crack of the lightning storm - the bolt hitting the tree at midnight - that snapped us back to our senses. We really should have been watching the arena, not having quality time. We'd had enough of that over the last few months. But it was moments like these that made me miss those late nights with Cato. Too many of them had been stolen from me. Cato and I backed away from each other as I glanced back towards the lightning that was lighting up the night sky.

It was almost like the fireworks that the Capitol would have when they had some type of party. Just like the ones on our wedding night. The ones that had lit up our bedroom. The lightning storm roused Finnick as well. He sat up with a sharp cry. I almost debated on getting up and going to see if he was alright, but I stopped myself. I spotted him digging his fingers into the sand and reassure himself that whatever nightmare he inhabited wasn't real. I was very tempted to go and check on him.

He still looked like he was about to scream. Something that we really couldn't afford. But I was more concerned that something was happening to him. He didn't look as strong as he normally did. But he was also a man. He wouldn't want me to go over and check on him like a mother would her own child. Although that might sell the lie of me being pregnant a little bit better.

"I can't sleep anymore. One of you should rest," Finnick said. Right after he said it, he seemed to notice our expressions and the way that we were wrapped around each other. "Or both of you. I can watch alone."

Obviously Cato didn't share the sentiment. "It's too dangerous. I'm not tired," Cato said.

I thought that he might tell the both of us that we needed to get some sleep, but his gaze turned towards me. "You lie down, Aspen," Finnick said.

"No. I'm fine," I said.

"You've barely slept since the start of the Games. Get some rest," Cato said.

For a moment I was going to argue that I wanted to stay awake, but it almost seemed like Finnick and Cato had something that they wanted to talk about. The way that they were looking at each other. Then the way that they would look back at me. As nervous as that made me, I knew that they deserved to have some time to themselves. I hadn't really realized it before, but they were actually good friends. So I nodded and stood, changing places with Finnick.

Cato followed me at first, letting Finnick sit alone near the water. As we passed each other I noticed that his eyes were slightly sunken into the back of his head and his eyes were still a little puffy. He was still haunted by the sounds of Annie's screams in the Jabberjay section. Perhaps even more than I was. The two of us made our way away from the others. I wasn't sure that I trusted Johanna not to stab me in my sleep, Haymitch tended to snore, and Beetee was rather restless.

"You guys are sure that you can manage?" I asked Cato.

"You know I was a Career once?" Cato shot back.

"I know," I mumbled.

Quickly I tucked myself back into the sand. It almost made me miss the days of sleeping, tied into the trees, where I at least had the thermal blanket. "We'll rouse you if a tornado or something like that hits," Cato said.

We both laughed softly. Every time we got ready to settle down or go to bed, some terrible event would strike us. "Wouldn't that be the perfect ending to this day?" I joked.

He smiled, leaning over me as I laid in the sand. "Go to sleep. I'll wake you up in the morning," Cato said.

And as much as I would have loved to go and take over the watch again, I hadn't slept much in the past few days. Maybe five or so hours since coming into the Games. Plus I hadn't really slept much in the past year. Most of my nights were plagued with horrible nightmares. In fact, I could count on my fingers how many nights I had gone without them while sleeping by myself. They weren't so bad when Cato would sleep with me. So I didn't bother to object.

Half because I knew that Cato would force me to go to bed anyways and half because I was smart enough to know that I did need my sleep if I was going to be of any use in keeping him alive. To my surprise, he placed the chain with the locket around my neck. I was about to turn over and try to get some rest, but Cato moved before I could. Making me almost roll my eyes, he then rested his hand over the spot where our baby would be. _Remember to be an actor_.

"You're going to make a great mother, you know," Cato said.

It really was almost impossible to remember that I was supposed to be pregnant. Most of the time it was the others who were the ones that would remind me. Maybe we should have tattooed it on my palm so that I could remember to play to the baby. He leaned in and kissed me one more time. The two of us smiled at each other as he got back to his feet. It looked like he was about to head back over to Finnick, but for a moment he still hesitated. It looked like he wanted to say something else.

Maybe something that wasn't played to the cameras. His reference to the baby had signaled that our time-out from the Games was over. He knew as well as I did that the audience would have been wondering why he wasn't using the most persuasive argument in his arsenal. As always, the Sponsors must be manipulated. But it seemed like there was still something lingering in his mind. So I decided that maybe both of us should be playing to the cameras, not just him.

"Not without you," I whispered.

Cato smiled and pressed a hand against the side of my head. "Like I said. You've always been better," Cato said softly.

He smiled at me once more before returning to go sit with Finnick. For a while I listened to see if they would talk, but it seemed that they were both lost in their own minds. His last comment was how I knew that there was a brief lapse in our re-entry of the Games. That one comment was enough to tell me that he really did believe that. He had - and always would - believe that I was better than him. No matter what I thought.

Was his previous comment not necessarily made for our fake child, but for the real one that I could have one day? Cato was no fool. He was smart enough to know that if I couldn't end up with him, I would be with Gale, as much as I would always wish that I was with him. So was that his blessing to be with him? Laying back on the sand, I stretched out slightly. It felt like it had been way too long since I had actually laid down and relaxed myself.

But every time that I tried lately, I was brought back to everything that had happened to me over the past year. It was terrible, everything that I had been through. It had not been a banner year for me. It hadn't been a banner life for me. What my parents would think if they could see me... If they could see all that their legacy, their one and only child, had managed to do during her own life. Would they be proud or ashamed of everything that I had done and lived through.

Having to hear Prim's name read aloud during the Reaping last year, volunteering in the Games, and everything that had happened to me during them. From being torn apart by the wolf mutt, to seeing Rue die in front of me, to being on death's door each time that I was in a fight, to the nearly heartbreaking moment when Cato and I had realized that one of us would have to die - no matter what happened last year. Each horrible incident, one after the other, with no break in between them.

It all made for such a terrible last year of my life. But at least Prim and Katniss were safe. That was always the plan. And there were some things that could still manage to make me laugh, though. Not many, but a few. One of the things was the stupidity of the Capitol. Not that I hadn't already known that. But I had been thinking about something the night before the Games had started. If they were smart enough, they should have been able to know that the pregnancy wasn't real.

The last time that Cato and I were together was six months ago and by now, if I were pregnant, I would have been swelled up like a balloon already. The only other time that we had seen each other had been at the wedding photo shoot about two months ago. They would have known that we hadn't had enough time for anything, and even if we had, I would have at least had a bump, which I obviously didn't. If it had been this past time that we'd seen each other, I would have only been about a week pregnant.

We had only seen each other again just about over a week ago, just before the Tribute Parade. It seemed like it should have been so much longer. But the sonogram typically wouldn't even be visible for two months. At least, that was what I remembered Ms. Everdeen saying once before. That picture was from someone almost three or four months pregnant, which didn't line up with the dates. So either I was cheating on my husband, we had illegally seen each other before the Games, or it was all a lie.

Maybe after I was dead there would be a debate about it. At least I could laugh about it in hell. The truth was, they would likely do an autopsy and realize that I wasn't pregnant. Maybe Cato would be able to say that it was a miscarriage from the pressure of the Games. Off in the distance I could hear Cato and Finnick chatting softly. For a moment I thought about eavesdropping, but I quickly realized that whatever they were saying was just as private as what Cato and I had been speaking about earlier.

So I laid back on the sand and gently ran my hands in it. My eyes slowly drooped closed as I thought about Cato's last words to me. Could it be more? They were like a reminder to me that I could still one day have kids with Gale. Well, if that was it, it would have been a mistake. Because for one thing, that had never been a part of my plan. And for another, if only one of us could be a parent, anyone with eyes could see that it should have been Cato.

He wasn't always the most fatherly person in the world, but he was certainly better with kids than I was. I was absolutely miserable with kids. I hated them and they hated me. I had seen the way that he interacted with Leah and Marley. They looked at him like he was the love of their lives. But as for me... Prim was the only kid that liked me and it was because she had grown up with me. He was the one that would make a good father. He could have another woman that he would fall in love with.

Maybe Skye or Julie, just like I had thought so many times before. Just like anyone with eyes could see that he would make the better parent, anyone with eyes could see that both girls had feelings for Cato. They would make good mothers. Maybe I would tell him that before I took my own life. Because despite the many times that Cato had threatened to kill me before, I knew that he would never let me die. Not while he was with me. I would just have to beat him to it.

As I drifted off, I tried to imagine that world, somewhere in the future, with no Games and no Capitol. It would have been a free and wonderful place. No one would have ever died from starvation and everyone would get to speak with each other freely. There would be no more control. No more segregation by Districts. It would be a place like the meadow in the song that I sang to Rue as she died. A place where Cato's child could be safe.

Those harsh thoughts were the last things that I thought of. I had expected to be heartbroken when I finally woke up, but I wasn't. When I did wake, I had a brief, delicious feeling of happiness that was obviously connected with Cato. Not that I was happy to be here. Happiness, of course, was a complete absurdity at this point, since at the rate things were going, I would be dead in a day. And that was the best-case scenario.

Unfortunately I couldn't forget that there was a bigger problem at hand. How, exactly, I was going to manage to make sure that Cato was the last person standing. All of those thoughts were only if I was somehow able to eliminate the rest of the field, with some people who really hated me, including myself, and get Cato crowned as the winner of the Quarter Quell. It seemed that it was becoming less and less likely with every passing hour and minute.

So that happiness was so unexpected and sweet that I fought to cling to it, if only for a few moments. The last few moments that I would really enjoy having. For a long time I merely laid back in the warm sand. The sun was high in the sky and slowly baking us. If I wasn't so concerned with being in dead in twenty-four hours, I might have been thinking about how I would have cancer to worry about. But that seemed to be the least of my problems right now.

Glancing off towards the beach, I noticed that Cato was already up and about. I wasn't sure if he had ever gone to sleep last night, but he seemed wide awake. At least, as wide awake as someone could be. He was in the water, wringing the sweat and blood from his undershirt. Like most of us, with the exception of Beetee and Johanna, his uniform had been eaten up by the poison fog. He was washing himself off in the shallow end of the water and I watched him from the distance.

I'd never noticed before just how muscular he really was. For a moment I was reminded of the way that he'd snapped Ethan's neck with his bare hands for something that I had done. The man from a year ago. But it was incredible to think that those hands, brutal and merciless, strong and capable of ending a human life, were the same ones that had comforted me when Rue had died and had held me close at night when my nightmares were the worst.

Trying to fight off the intrusive thoughts, I merely watched the muscles on his back contort. It was almost the same way that they did when we spent our nights together. A small smile fell over my face as I prayed that the Capitol viewers couldn't realize what I was smiling about. But they would. I didn't care anymore. Cato turned back to catch me staring at him and winked, something that I knew they wouldn't miss. No doubt was Gale now once more ready to throw something through the television.

Not that he had anything to worry about. I would never have another night like that with Cato. I let out a little puff of air as I sat back against the sand. One day he would be able to move forward and I hoped that he could find someone else to have a night like that with. If we couldn't be together, the only other thing that I wanted was for him to be happy. There was always Skye or Julie, and if he felt too much of a sibling bond with them, there were so many other girls in District 2 that would love to be with him.

But I couldn't help the sharp pang of jealousy that shot through me at the thought of someone else ever touching my husband. My thoughts were quickly interrupted by the gritty sand, the hot sun, and my itching skin demanding a return to reality. Even though the scabs were healing nicely and my skin had almost returned to its normal state, I was still rather itchy from the scabs that the medicine created. Although that was better than infection. I was well aware of just how badly that hurt.

As I glanced around the rest of the camp I noticed that everyone was already up and watching the descent of a parachute to the beach. Hopefully it was something with some salt in it. I rose from my spot in the sand and walked over to join them for another delivery of bread. It was identical to the one that we had received the night before. There were another twenty-four rolls from District 3. That gave us thirty-six in all. No one spoke as we all sat down for our breakfast.

Not a normal breakfast, but it was better than nothing. I could almost see how the Careers started to attack each other near the end. There was something about the pool dwindling that made things tense without even having to say anything. It was just the weight of the knowledge that things were almost over. And that was exactly why no one said anything. Because it would have made everything so much worse. We each took five of the rolls, leaving six in reserve.

One for each of us later, unless someone died in the next few hours, before lunch, which was a very likely cause. Somehow, in the light of day, joking about who would be around to eat the rolls had lost its humor. Maybe it was because we now realized just how fast everyone was dying. The Gamemakers were already ready to end things. How long could we keep this alliance? I was sure that no one expected the number of Tributes to drop so quickly. I certainly hadn't.

Normally it took almost two weeks. My own Games had taken seventeen days to get through. It had barely been two days and we were closing in on what would be the Death Match. Things were almost over. What if there was a chance that I was wrong about the others protecting Cato? If things were simply coincidental, or if it had all been a strategy to win our trust to make us easy prey, then I really didn't understand what was actually going on. Actually, I knew that it was a fact.

Something that seemed to frequently happen. I never seemed to understand what was going on. Since no one ever told me anything. But this time it was different. If I didn't know the plan, it must have been time for Cato and me to clear out of here. It would have been getting close to being time to leave anyways. I sat next to Cato on the sand to ate my rolls, still not speaking. He glanced over at me and winked again. For some reason, it was a little difficult to look at him.

Maybe it was because all I really wanted was to go back to the other morning in the shower. Or that day up on the rooftop. Maybe it was because I kept replaying it in my mind. Maybe it was because I kept thinking that everyone could see what I was thinking. Either way, I had to look away from him. Or maybe it was knowing the brief amount of time we had left. Not to mention how we were working at such cross-purposes when it came to who should survive these Games.

No one ate quickly through the breakfast. No one spoke either. The silence was something that I knew that everyone was enjoying. Something that we didn't get that often. Not in the Games. The only thing that we wanted was to eat slowly and ignore the impending doom. But there were things that I needed to discuss with him. After we finished eating, I grabbed his hand and tugged him toward the water.

"Come on. I'll teach you how to swim," I said.

He looked very surprised. Johanna was watching me with narrowed eyes. She obviously didn't trust the two of us heading off anywhere alone. "I know how to swim," Cato said.

Smiling at him softly, I shook my head. He was a terrible swimmer. He was a halfway decent floater. "I've seen you try to swim before. You look like a drowning cat," I said.

He laughed at my words. "Now that was uncalled for," he said.

"No pool in District 2?"

"We have one in the Academy. I used it enough to learn how to swim but didn't dwell on it. I figured that the arena would be more like woods. I was right."

"Good guess. But you were lucky. The arena could have been like this."

"Looking back... Yeah, I was."

"Career mindset."

"You're right. How did you learn to swim?"

"We have a lake in the woods of District 12. I always loved going there. I learned when I was a little kid. I'm not from District 4, but I'm probably one of the better swimmers from the out-lying Districts."

"With the exception of Finnick you were up at the Cornucopia first."

"I really should have stopped and thought about if the water was poisonous or something."

"You were smart to just go for it. And I'm not that bad of a swimmer!" Cato barked.

The two of us slowly waded deeper and deeper into the warm water. "Just being able to stay above the water doesn't mean that you're a good swimmer," I teased.

Cato laughed at me fondly as we made it to the point where I no longer could stand, but he still could. He was a few inches over six feet tall. Just like before, I still was just a few inches over five feet. He was easily able to stand with the water lapping at his chest. But it was almost over my head. So I wrapped my legs around his waist as he kept us above the water.

"Somehow you always manage to find a way to insult me," Cato laughed.

I dipped my head back into the water to wet my hair and threw it back out of my face. "It's because I love you," I said.

Cato smiled again and pressed a kiss against my forehead. "And I love you, too," he said.

"What?" I asked, realizing that he was smiling at me.

"Nothing. I just like looking at you." I smiled and leaned in to kiss him. The two of us stayed in a kiss for a few moments before he finally backed away from me. "How's the leg?" he asked.

I'd almost forgotten about my fall during the earthquake. I really couldn't feel anything wrong with it. "Oh it's fine. The fall just startled me more than anything," I said honestly.

There was nothing wrong with me. Not compared to all of the other injuries I'd faced in the arenas. "Good. You had me scared there for a minute," Cato said.

"Of all the things that I was expecting for them to have in the arena, a section with an earthquake wasn't one of them."

"I heard that before Panem, when we were still..."

He was trying to think of what we were called. What were we called? Unless it had something to do with how to feed my family, it wasn't usually something that I cared about. I thought back to the days that I was still in the schools of District 12. There weren't many times that I'd really paid attention, but I had listened when we'd learned about the past of Panem.

"North America. United States of America, I think," I said slowly.

Cato nodded, making me feel at least a little bit better that I had been right about one thing. "Yeah. That. The country was split up into things called states. Kind of like the Districts," Cato said.

"Really?"

"Did you not listen to the lectures?"

"No. Not unless it had something to do with how to feed my family."

"Right."

"Tell me about it."

"There was one that apparently always had earthquakes. It was nothing abnormal," Cato said. I cringed, thinking about having to experience things like that regularly. "I think it started with a 'C'."

Did people die in those things? I wasn't sure whether or not I wanted to know. "You paid attention in school," I commented, realizing, once more, that Cato was much more intelligent than I gave him credit for.

The corner of Cato's lips turned upwards into a smile. "I'm a little smarter than you think," Cato said.

"I never doubted that, believe it or not."

"Really?"

"Really. I always knew that you were smart."

"Why's that?"

"Because you liked me," I teased.

He snorted. "Back in the Academy in District 2, everyone has to train. It's part of the mandated learning schedule. But there are extras. Things that normal kids don't learn. If you excel in your studies, you can learn weapons like the mace." I cringed at the thought of a ten year old walking around and waving a mace. "Or you get to train in the outdoor courtyard before you're seventeen or extra time with the best instructors. Things like that. Good grades mean better training," he explained.

For anyone else it would have seemed like a nightmare. But for a District 2 kid, it was a wonderful opportunity. "And a better chance of going into the arena for fame and fortune," I continued.

Cato nodded again and I knew that I was right. "Whenever I go out and see them practicing I just want to scream at them to stop. I want to tell them what a stupid idea it is to be out there. I want them to know that it's not worth it," Cato mentioned.

It was the same thing that he had told me just before the end of the last Games. The one thing that had told me that I was definitely right about him. He was nothing like I had originally expected him to be. He had then said that I was the only thing that made the Games worth it. If nothing else, I was glad that he had realized that the Games were never worth the fame and fortune. Obviously the prices paid were much worse.

"It's almost funny. We were both volunteers," I muttered under my breath.

There was an irritable look on his face. "For two very different reasons. One noble and one -"

"Noble in a different way. It was your own way," I interrupted, placing my hand on his chest.

He already thought that he was a monster. I didn't want him thinking things like that about himself. He was a wonderful man. I just wished that he could see it the way that I did. "Everything that I did the first time -"

"Can't be changed," I interrupted again. "You did what you did and that's something that you have to deal with. The people that make it out of that arena all have their own things to deal with. You have yours. I have mine. They all have theirs." I motioned to Haymitch, Beetee, Finnick and Johanna up on the beach. "It's not the end of the world."

Cato smiled at me as he raised his hand and gently pushed the wet hair from my face. "When did you get braver than me?" he asked, pressing a small kiss against my temple.

Laughing softly, I shook my head. "I don't know."

"I do," he said.

My eyebrow quirked curiously. "What's that?" I asked.

Cato merely laughed and gently tugged on the strands of my hair. "You always were. I knew it from the second that I laid my eyes on you," he said softly.

It was so soft that I'd nearly missed his comment. "So that's why you liked me," I teased.

Cato smiled and nodded at me. "That..." He trailed off and I raised my brow at him, wondering what he was getting at. "And the fact that you were very attractive in that hospital gown," he added, waggling his eyebrows.

We both laughed as I gave him a rough nudge, making him take a step back in the water. "Shut up," I snapped playfully.

It was part of the way that we had always acted with each other. Bratty and almost like we didn't really like each other. But that wasn't at all the case. We loved each other and messed with each other more than most people ever did. That was part of what the Capitol people had always liked about us. We weren't that serious. But that was the one way that we had always been happy. The moment was sweet as we both laughed, keeping ourselves pressed against each other.

We sat together with the waves lapping at our chests. The happy moment was almost ruined for me by the thought that everyone back in the Capitol was probably laughing and swooning over the comment and the kiss that was sure to follow. Part of it was because I really wanted to kiss him and part of it was because I knew that I needed to react to the comment. Of course, if we were really by ourselves things would have gone much farther than either one of us could afford to let them go.

So I leaned into Cato and pressed my lips against his. Back on the beach I could hear Johanna complaining about the two of us, but I tried to block her out, instead running my fingers through Cato's damp hair. His hands were tight around my back as my spare hand - the one with my wedding ring on it - came to sit against his cheek. The viewers all around Panem would surely be glued to their screens for one of the last moments of the Star-Crossed Lovers.

Finally the two of us separated. For a while Cato let me swim back and forth as I collected my thoughts, and partially so that I could relax back in the water. Everyone deserved some time to themselves after the nightmarish last thirty-six hours. I knew that I would need to get Cato away from the others where the two of us could openly discuss breaking away. It would be tricky, because once they would realize that we were severing the alliance, we would become instant targets.

As friendly as we all were together, and as much as I did love some of them, the moment that they realized that we were planning to attack them, they would come after us. It was all in the meaning of survival. I understood that as much as we wanted to survive, they did, too. We all had things that we wanted to do back in our homes. In the meantime, we had to continue acting as if we intended to stay with the alliance until the end.

So I decided to swim back over to Cato and begin teaching him the little bit of swimming that I did know. If I was really teaching him to swim, I would have made him take off the belt from the uniform since it was designed to keep us afloat, but it didn't really matter now. All that mattered was that we were alone. And we were. So I just showed him the basic stroke and let him practice going back and forth in chest-high water. His chest-high. My head-high. I had to tread water.

At first, I noticed that Johanna was keeping a careful eye on us. It wasn't even for just a little while. She watched us for well over at hour to make sure that we weren't plotting behind her back. So I had to make sure that we looked like a disgustingly in love couple that just wanted some peace and quiet before one of us died. But eventually even Johanna lost interest and turned away to go and take a nap. It left no one else watching the two of us.

Finnick was weaving a new net out of vines since he had lost ours in the earthquake, Haymitch was doing a count of everything that we hadn't lost, and Beetee continued to play with his wire. That was how I knew that the time had come. While Cato had been swimming back and forth, and I had been bored trying to waste time until the others lost interest in us, I had discovered something else. My remaining scabs were starting to peel off. Something that made me genuinely happy.

It would only be a matter of time before we were completely back to normal. We were able to get the scabs off of ourselves by gently rubbing a handful of sand up and down wherever the patches were. In a matter of minutes I had cleaned off the rest of the scales all over me, revealing fresh new skin underneath. I stopped Cato's practice, on the pretext of showing him how to rid himself of the itchy scabs, and as we scrubbed ourselves, I brought up our escape.

Both of us were a little nervous, as we hadn't really spoken about our impending departure yet. "Look, the pool is down to eight. I think it's time we took off," I said under my breath.

My voice was barely loud enough to hear, although I doubted that any of the Tributes could hear me. Still, we would have to be careful. There was a small stretch of silence between us. Cato nodded at me blankly. Obviously he was considering my proposition. More than likely weighing if the odds would be in our favor. Although they never seemed to be.

"Tell you what. Let's stick around until Chaff and Enobaria are dead. I think Beetee's trying to put together some kind of trap for them now. Then, I promise, well go," Cato said.

As much as I would have loved to stay with them forever, I knew that the longer that we lingered, the more that we risked our own lives. "It's too much of a risk," I said.

Cato shook his head. "It's too much of a risk to leave. We'll be the number one targets," he said.

We'd been the number one targets from the moment that the Quarter Quell had been announced. "We already are. I love them, up on the beach, but I don't know that I trust that they won't attack us in our sleep," I said, cringing at the thought.

It was something that we genuinely were risking at any given moment. I couldn't imagine that Beetee or Haymitch would attack us, and I was sure that Finnick and I were friends, but what about Johanna? We didn't have an alliance with her, and she seemed angrier than anyone else that she was back here. I was also smart enough to know that she really hated me. And Finnick still had Annie to get back to.

"They know what we're planning," I said.

"Of course. They know but they're not going to make a move," Cato said.

"They are. They're waiting for their opportunity. So are we. It depends on who makes the first move. We can't let it be them."

Obviously we were both weighing the other's words. Cato didn't want to risk our safety and neither did I. There were arguments for leaving and staying. We would have to make a choice and trust it. "They're our friends," Cato said.

"Of course. But there can't be friends here."

"They aren't going to stab us in the backs."

"Yes they will," I said determinedly. "Because we're planning on doing it to them."

That comment put a sudden damper on the mood. No matter what happened, someone was going to betray someone else. "Something might change," Cato said softly.

"Nothing is going to change. We all know what's going to happen."

Cato dropped the sand to quit scrubbing at his left arm and grabbed my own hand. "We should stay. Just until Enobaria is dead. We've both seen how dangerous she can be," Cato pointed out.

And he was right. Enobaria was extremely dangerous. My jaws tightened as I thought about what could potentially happen here. When it came to risking leaving and having Enobaria attack us. We didn't know where she was right now. She had very nearly killed me. Of course, I had almost killed her, too. Still, I wasn't entirely convinced that staying was the right thing to do. But if we were to leave now, we would have three sets of adversaries after us. Plus there was still the clock to contend with.

And then there was Beetee to think of. Johanna had apparently only brought him for me, and if we decided to leave, she would surely kill him. That was when I remembered. I couldn't protect Beetee, too. There would only be one Victor this time around and it had to be Cato. I had already accepted this. Every action and decision I made had to be based on his survival only. Unfortunately, right now, our best chance was to stay with them until the other two were dead.

"Alright. We'll stay until Enobaria and Chaff are dead. But that's the end of it," I said.

Cato nodded, clearly happy that I had agreed to stay at least another day. "Thank you," he said.

"Just until they're dead."

"Until they're dead and not a second longer."

"Promise me."

"I promise."

So I turned towards the beach and waved to Finnick. "Hey, Finnick, come on in! We figured out how to make you pretty again!" I shouted.

There was a little spark in his eyes, more that I had seen since the Jabberjay attack. Finnick dropped his weapons and moved towards the water. "Finally. I don't know how you tolerate being so ugly all of the time," he said.

"The knowledge that at least Haymitch it uglier," I said.

"What the hell is wrong with you?" Haymitch barked.

In the back of my mind I knew that the comment was meant to make me smile, but I frowned instead. As much as I would have loved to think that Haymitch was still like my father, he wasn't. Because I was planning on killing him to get Cato out of here alive. And Finnick... Finnick was getting back to normal, I knew that he was still having a hard time. I could hear the despair plain and clear in his voice. He must have still thinking about the Jabberjay's with Annie's voice. I couldn't really blame him.

Since it had happened I had been thinking about them a fair amount, too. Still wondering whether or not Katniss, Prim, Mrs. Everdeen, and Gale were even still alive. Although with the constant attacks and disasters around us recently, I hadn't really had much of a chance to think about them. But I still wanted to try and smile when Finnick got out here. As long as we were still together, I wanted to be his friend. We would be friends until the moment that he died.

"God I don't want to touch you," I teased Finnick.

Obviously he appreciated the comment as the corner of his lips turned upwards. The typically handsome smirk on his face was back. "How does your poor husband manage it?" he shot back.

"He closes his eyes and grits his teeth," I told him.

He grinned as I scrubbed off my feet and ankles. "That must be painful," Finnick said.

"He suffers through it. How does anyone manage it with you?"

Finnick smirked at me again. "With their heads thrown back towards the heavens and -"

"No, no! No more," I interrupted loudly.

It was moments like these that I almost forgot about the fact that we were still in the arena. We still had to be quiet and be careful. "I think you would have liked the end of that story," Finnick said.

"Doubtful. Zip it and turn around."

So we lapsed into a small silence as the three of us scoured all the scabs from our bodies, helping with the others' backs. It was nice to see that we no longer looked like the lizard people. It had almost been giving me nightmares - not that I didn't have enough things to have nightmares about. There was always enough nightmares in my mind to make me sick. At least I wouldn't have to live with my actions anymore.

The new skin that was underneath what had been the scabs came out the same pink as the sky. We decided to apply another round of medicine to ourselves because the new skin still seemed too delicate for the sunlight, and sunburns were not things that we needed to deal with, but it didn't look half as bad on smooth skin and would make for good camouflage in the jungle. I wasn't sure whether or not we would actually be heading back into the jungle, but just in case.

Eventually we made our way over to Haymitch and helped him the same way. The medicine tube was empty by now and I tossed it back into the water. Hopefully it would be the last time that we would need it. I wasn't intending on setting foot in the poison fog sector again. It was, by far, the worst of them. At least when it came to physical pain. Beetee called us over about half an hour later, and it turned out that during all those hours of fiddling with wire, he indeed had managed to come up with a plan.

The six of us sat around in a circle to talk about what came next. Johanna was still asleep. "I think well all agree our next job is to kill Enobaria," Beetee said.

Everyone nodded their agreement. Even Cato hesitantly nodded. "She would be the biggest danger," I said.

"I doubt she'll attack us openly again, and she knows that with the failed attack she's outnumbered. We could track them down, I suppose, but it's dangerous, exhausting work. You can track, right, Aspen?"

I nodded at him. "Yes. But you're right. It's too much work and it's too dangerous with us risking walking right into one of the active sections," I said.

If we walked through the jungle there would be a good chance that we would walk into an active sector. Finnick and I had learned that the hard way. "It might not be active," Haymitch said.

"We could stumble into one. Not worth the risk," Cato said.

"There's gotta be another way. Where was she last?" I asked.

"No one's seen her since she left us," Haymitch put in.

She had been sprinting away from the Cornucopia, back towards the jungle. Could she have been watching us? She knew what some of the sectors were, so maybe she had picked the safest one. But she was still risking a lot. I wanted to know what was happening with her. What she had decided to do and where she had decided to go. But it was almost impossible to know that without being with her.

"She'll be somewhere that she determines safe," I finally said.

"Unfortunately we taught her the safest spots," Haymitch said.

We had taught her the clock, how to get food and water, and which sectors would be the safest while they were active. "Do you think she knows about the rearranged clock?" I asked.

"If she doesn't, she'll figure it out soon enough," Beetee said.

That left only one other person. "What about Chaff?" I asked.

A little pang of hurt shot through me. Chaff had been so sweet to me before the Games. We had even joked around a little bit during the lunches that we had shared during training. And the one kiss, that now that I looked back on it, was actually rather funny. Now I saw why it made Cato laugh. I noticed that even Haymitch looked uncomfortable at the discussion of killing him. After all, they were old friends.

"Probably a similar situation. It he doesn't, he'll figure it out soon enough. Perhaps not as specifically as we have. But they must know that at least some of the zones are wired for attacks and that they're reoccurring in a circular fashion. Also, the fact that our last fight was cut off by Gamemaker intervention will not have gone unnoticed by them. We know it was an attempt to disorient us, but they must be asking themselves why it was done, and this, too, may lead them to the realization that the arena's a clock. So I think our best bet will be setting our own trap," Beetee said.

If anyone here could set a trap, it was either Beetee or me. But he seemed to have a plan with the wire. "Wait, let me get Johanna up. She'll be rabid if she thinks she missed something this important," Finnick said.

"Or not," I muttered.

The corners of his lips turned upwards in a smile and I heard Cato and Haymitch both snort. Beetee was already preoccupied with new thoughts. I had only said it because she was always pretty much rabid, but I didn't bother to stop him, because I would be angry myself if I was excluded from a plan at this point. She had the same right to be here as I did. And, in her eyes, she seemed to be thinking that she had more of a right to be involved in the plans.

Maybe she thought about it because she was older or maybe because she thought that she was smarter. Definitely because she thought that this was all my fault. Which was something that we all knew. Either way, as long as I could avoid her wrath, that was all that mattered to me. She wouldn't take it easy on me when the time came. A few minutes passed before Finnick finally returned with a slightly still asleep Johanna.

When she had finally joined us and woken herself up, Beetee shooed us all back a bit so that he could have some room to work in the sand. He swiftly drew a circle and divided it into twelve wedges. It was his depiction of the arena, not quite rendered in Cato's precise strokes. Cato was surprisingly good with drawing. Instead, Beetee's was done in the rough lines of a man whose mind was occupied by other, far more complex things. Once he was finally done with his drawing, he looked back up to us.

"If you were Chaff and Enobaria, knowing what you do now about the jungle, where would you feel safest?" he asked us.

It was a few moments that no one spoke or bothered to answer his question. There was nothing patronizing in his voice, but I couldn't help but to think that he reminded me of a schoolteacher about to ease children into a lesson. It reminded me of my own days in the classroom before I'd finished the mandatory education and began hunting to help feed our families. Perhaps it was the age difference, or simply because Beetee was probably about a million times smarter than the rest of us.

"Where we are now. On the beach. It's the safest place," Cato said, finally breaking the silence.

"So why aren't they on the beach?" Beetee asked.

"Because we're here," Johanna said impatiently.

Beetee nodded at her. "Exactly. We're here, claiming the beach," Beetee said. We were the ones with the numbers, so no one would try to challenge us. Not for a while, at least. "Now where would you go?"

Honestly the beach was the only place that I wanted to go. And I didn't really want to be on the beach either. I didn't want to be anywhere. Not in the arena, at least. There weren't many other places to go right about now. We knew that they weren't in the Cornucopia since we could see it from here. They couldn't be on the beach, since we were already there. So I turned my thoughts towards the deadly jungle. Were there any safe places?

The lightning storm could electrocute someone, the blood rain could blind a person, the poison fog, monkey mutts, the Beast, the fireball storm, and the tsunami were all deadly in their own ways. I wasn't sure what was within seven or eight o'clock but it could be assumed that those were just as dangerous. The earthquake, Jabberjay's, and insects might not be deadly but they certainly weren't fun. The jungle would be a terrible place to hide. But maybe it would work. At least, if they had a place to run.

"I'd hide just at the edge of the jungle. So I could escape if an attack came. And so I could spy on us. The noisy insect section and lightning might not be too bad," I said.

"Also to eat. The jungle's full of strange creatures and plants. But by watching us, I'd know the seafood's safe," Finnick added.

Beetee smiled at us as if we'd exceeded his expectations. Maybe he really thought that we were that stupid. Maybe we were. "Yes, good. You do see. Now here's what I propose: a twelve o'clock strike. What happens exactly at noon and at midnight?" he asked.

"The lightning bolt hits the tree," I said.

Beetee nodded. "Yes. So what I'm suggesting is that after the bolt hits at noon, but before it hits at midnight, we run my wire from that tree all the way down into the saltwater, which is, of course, highly conductive. When the bolt strikes, the electricity will travel down the wire and into not only the water but also the surrounding beach, which will still be damp from the six o'clock wave without the sun to heat and dry the sand. Anyone in contact with those surfaces at that moment will be electrocuted," Beetee said.

There was a long pause between the six of us while we all digested Beetee's plan. It seemed a bit fantastical to me, impossible even. Was there really a chance that something like that could happen? I was sure that it would work. Beetee was from District 3 and he was one of their brightest minds. If anyone could make it work, it was him. So why would we bother questioning him on it? This was what he knew. After all, I'd set thousands of snares before.

Wasn't this just a larger snare with a more scientific component? There was no reason for us to question it. Each one of us was trained for something different; Finnick with his finishing and net weaving, Haymitch with his game-play skills, Johanna with her attitude and axe-throwing tricks, Cato with his strength and hand-to-hand combat skills, and me with my... name, I supposed. The Girl on Fire. Easily earning us Sponsors and at least I could do long distance defense. This was what Beetee could do.

So I decided to give him the benefit of the doubt. "You think this could work?" I asked.

Beetee smiled proudly. "I know it can," he said.

If he was that confident, I had a feeling that it must work. I trusted Beetee to lead us in the right direction. At least, I certainly hoped that he wasn't wrong. Cato decided to take another stab at it, sensing the hesitation. "Will that wire really be able to conduct that much power, Beetee? It looks so fragile, like it would just burn up," he said.

"Oh, it will. But not until the current has passed through it. It will act something like a fuse, in fact. Except the electricity will travel along it," Beetee said, surprising all of us.

That meant that we were only going to have one chance if the wire would burn up the moment that we used it as a conductor. "How do you know?" Johanna asked, clearly not convinced.

Not that I could blame her. I'd been wondering myself if it would really work. "Because I invented it," Beetee said, sounding slightly surprised. "It's not actually wire in the usual sense. Nor is the lightning natural lightning nor the tree a real tree. You know trees better than any of us, Johanna. It would be destroyed by now, wouldn't it?"

"Yes," Johanna said glumly.

She looked bored out of her mind. Or maybe even a little depressed. Either way, she didn't look like the same intense Johanna that I knew. "Don't worry about the wire - it will do just what I say," Beetee assured us.

"And where will we be when this happens?" Finnick asked.

My head snapped over so that I could look at him. Finnick had been very out of it lately. I was glad to see that he was trying to get back into the swing of things after the Jabberjay incident. "Far enough up in the jungle to be safe," Beetee replied.

There must have been a minimum distance that we would have to be to avoid the lightning storm and the conduction of the wire. It worked for me. I definitely wanted to avoid being burnt to a crisp. But then a thought occurred to me. "Enobaria and Chaff will be safe, too, then, unless they're in the vicinity of the water," I pointed out.

"That's right," Beetee said.

"But all the seafood will be cooked," Cato said.

We would lose a source of food and we might end up not even killing Chaff or Enobaria. Would it be worth it? "Probably more than cooked. We will most likely be eliminating that as a food source for good. But you found other edible things in the jungle, right, Aspen?" Beetee asked.

There had been a few things that I'd seen in the jungle but I wasn't sure that we'd actually be able to eat them. "Yes. Nuts and rats. There are a few animals but I'm not sure how long I trust them so that we can eat them. There's a chance that they might start sending in animals with poisonous blood or something like that. I wouldn't put it beneath them," I said.

Of course, now that I'd said that I was absolutely positive that the Gamemakers would do something like that. "So no animals unless we're sure that we know what they are," Haymitch put in.

"And we have the Sponsors," I added.

If nothing else, we would be able to rely on them for another source of food. And we probably wouldn't be in the arena for that much longer, anyways. "Well, then. I don't see that as a problem. But as we are allies and this will require all our efforts, the decision of whether or not to attempt it is up to you five," he said, motioning to us.

He was right about that. It was our choice whether or not we decided to actually move forward with the plan or sit here and wait for the Gamemakers to force us towards each other because they were bored of waiting for us to kill each other. We were like schoolchildren. Completely unable to dispute his theory with anything more than the most elementary concerns. Most of which didn't even have anything to do with his actual plan. We were just nervous about what was to come.

This kind of plan could be a good thing. We would start rushing the end and the Games would finally be over. For me, at least. I looked at the others' disconcerted faces. Everyone wanted the two of them gone, but the sooner that they were, the sooner that we would have to turn on each other. Of course, no matter what, it would have to end that way. And it was better to do it now rather than wait and make things even harder.

"Why not?" I finally offered. "If it fails, there's no harm done. If it works, there's a decent chance we'll kill them. And even if we don't and just kill the seafood, Chaff and Enobaria lose it as a food source, too."

The others merely stared at each other. "I say we try it. Aspen is right," Cato said.

It took a little while longer to convince Haymitch, Johanna, and Finnick. Cato had only agreed because I had said that it was a good idea. And I had only agreed because I knew that we had to get around to the end eventually, and each wasted moment was another moment closer to the Gamemakers giving us the push that we needed. Which was something that I really didn't need. I was sick of Gamemaker traps. Almost a full minute passed before Haymitch finally nodded his consent.

It left only Finnick and Johanna to make their choice. We all turned to them, waiting to see if they would agree that it was the right thing to do. Finnick looked over at Johanna and raised his eyebrows. He would not go forward without her. Now that was curious. They must have been closer than I had originally thought. Johanna didn't look like she wanted to follow through with the plan, but she knew that she was outnumbered. So she nodded at Beetee.

"All right. It's better than hunting them down in the jungle, anyway. And I doubt they'll figure out our plan, since we can barely understand it ourselves," she said, actually making a fair point.

"So what can we do to help?" I asked.

It felt a little strange having Beetee be the one with the plan. I was so used to it being the rest of us with him following. "Keep me alive for the next six hours. That would be extremely helpful," Beetee said.

Smiling at Beetee, I nodded and got back to my feet. We all went back about our business so that we could feel like we actually had something to do until it was time to leave and start our plan. Not that we really knew what to do. We were just following whatever it was that Beetee wanted us all to do. There was nothing to do until it was time to leave. Right now it was just Beetee's plan, whatever he wanted and needed to do, with our help.

We began to break down the camp so that we could leave on a moment's notice. Johanna went to scattering things around to make it look like we had been forced to leave in a hurry, Haymitch was gathering together all of the food, and Finnick was weaving more baskets to carry the remaining food we had. I grabbed Cato and pulled him with me, on the pretense of sharpening our weapons and having just a moment alone.

"I think we need to go," I whispered to Cato.

Some of the others were watching us. I glanced back and smiled, pretending that I was just enjoying my time with him. "This plan's gonna work," he tried to convince me.

It was what came after the plan was enacted that had me worried. "I think so, too. And once Chaff and Enobaria are dead, we both know what happens next. I don't want to be the one that shoots first," I said, looking sadly over at the others. Even killing Johanna would take a toll on me, considering that she had saved Beetee for me. "I've already told you that."

"What if they don't either? What if all of us refuse to shoot first?" Cato asked.

They would figure out another way to get us to fight. Even if they had to send in a mutt to tear us all to shreds, they would get their Victor. "We might still end up dead," I told him softly.

Cato shrugged his shoulders as sparks flew off of his sword. He was irritable. "Maybe not. I mean, it worked for us last time," he muttered.

Because Seneca hadn't been able to think on his feet fast enough. I had given him an ultimatum and he hadn't been able to think of what else to do. He was panicked from my push. This year they would be expecting it. I gently fingered at the little button that he had given me before leaving for the Games. Were we really friends? Would it help me keep Cato alive? Or were his motivations purely selfish? I wasn't sure.

"They're not gonna make that same mistake again. You know and I know there's only one person walking out of here. And it's gonna be one of us," I said.

 _Actually, it will be him_. But I couldn't tell him that. "There's a chance that it can be different this year," he added.

"It will be different. Only one person gets to walk out," I muttered gloomily.

Cato grabbed my hand, stopping me from almost snapping an arrow. "And it will be you."

He kissed my temple and I smiled, resting my head against his chest. "You're too good for me," I spoke into his shirt.

My heart fluttered slightly as he reached back and placed a hand behind my neck, pressing a kiss against my hair. "That feeling goes both ways," he muttered.

"But it's the truth."

"No, it's not. You're the better one."

"I'm not, Cato."

"You are. No matter what you think. You're going to be okay once everything is over."

"Cato -"

"You'll take some time and be able to move on. You'll have something else to keep you busy," Cato said, placing a hand against my stomach.

I felt his hand shaking slightly and saw the dead look in his eyes. He had meant everything that he had said to me up until the last sentence. "The baby," I muttered, trying to remember to be nice.

There was no chance that we would continue to get Sponsors if I forgot about playing to the fake baby. "Our baby," Cato said.

He leaned forward and pressed another kiss on my lips. Maybe it was for the Sponsors or maybe it was because he really did want to give me another kiss. Something that made my heart flutter, no matter how many times he had done it or how much more we had done together. I very nearly rolled my eyes as Cato pulled me forward into a hug. He placed his lips at my ear and I almost jumped when he spoke softly.

"You need to be happy. I've seen the way that he looks at you. Gale," Cato said. My heart fell into my stomach. So he did know that Gale still had feelings for me. "He'll protect you. After all, you used to be in love with him."

If I'd eaten anything more than a few rolls, I probably would have thrown it up. Suddenly I was very glad that the Sponsors hadn't sent us anything else. My stomach was roiling painfully. I had always told Cato that there was nothing in between the two of us because I had never felt anything for him. Not that I had realized, anyways. The last thing that I wanted was for Cato to think that I was still in love with Gale just hours before I was going to die.

"No. No, I wasn't -"

"It's okay. I understand. You grew up together."

"Not like I ever have been with you," I whispered back, turning my head so that the cameras couldn't see what we were saying. They must have been beside themselves back in the Capitol. "I can't -"

"He'll be good for you. Far better than I ever could be," Cato interrupted.

"No. I only want you."

"So do I."

"So don't say that."

"We have to. Because we have to move forward. You're going to have to move forward after this."

"I can't, Cato. I couldn't move on without you."

"You can. He's your one way to move forward," Cato said.

He pulled away from me and I cringed, knowing that we were back into the mood of playing the Games. There was no more that we could say about it with the cameras watching. It had effectively ending the conversation between us. He wanted me to know that I had his blessing to be with Gale and that was all that mattered. He leaned in and pressed a kiss against my lips, smiling at me, so that it was almost like we had laughed and whispered sweet things into each other's ear, rather than a comment about letting the other be with someone else.

"I lost your pearl during the Cornucopia spin," I mumbled. "I'm sorry."

"That's okay. I'll get you another one."

Just as I was about to lean in to kiss Cato and tell him that he had my permission to be with Julie or Skye - who I knew both had feelings for him - he got up and left me to my own devices. Perhaps to go find me that pearl. He turned back and gave me a little wink as he walked off. My heart gave another painful twinge. I wanted him to come back. I wanted to be with him. But he needed to be alone. So I sighed and merely dropped back against the sand, sitting under the shade of some large palm fronds.

Things had seemed to be so strange between the two of us these days. It was mostly because of the Games and the strangeness of pretending to be pregnant and my impending death. What he thought was his impending death. Our marriage was falling apart before it ever really got the chance to get going. We only had that one day up on the roof. No matter what people thought. I glanced around the arena and stared off in the distance. This was the place that I would die in.

We weren't able to sit around for that long. Beetee wanted to inspect the lightning tree before he had the chance to rig it. Judging by the sun, it was about nine in the morning. We would have to leave our beach soon, anyway. So we broke down the camp and walked over to the beach that bordered the lightning section. There didn't seem to be any animals and I couldn't see any indication that Enobaria or Chaff were anywhere in the area. They'd done a good job with hiding themselves in the arena.

The six of us walked to the edge of the beach and headed into the jungle. Suddenly my grip on my bow tightened again. It felt like it had been a long time since I had used the bow. Too long. It felt a little strange that the bow had become so much like another piece of me. Beetee was still too weak to hike up the large slope of the jungle on his own, so Finnick and Cato took turns carrying him. Haymitch was carrying their weapons that that they were able to take care of Beetee without worrying about an attack.

We decided to let Johanna lead because it was a pretty straight shot up to the tree, and I figured that she couldn't get us too lost. Besides, I could do a lot more damage with a sheath of arrows and a package of throwing knives than she could with two axes, so I was definitely the best one to bring up the rear. The dense, muggy air weighed on me as we trekked up the hill. There had been no break from it since the Games began. Even out on the beach was terrible. I wished that Effie would stop sending us the District 3 bread.

Not because it wasn't good, but I would rather have some more of the District 4 stuff, because I had sweated out buckets in the last two days, and even though I'd had the fish, I was craving salt. A piece of ice would have been another good idea. Or maybe a cold drink of water. That was what I really wanted. I was grateful for the fluid from the trees, but it was the same temperature as the seawater and the air and the other Tributes and me. We were all just one big, warm stew.

As we neared the big lightning tree, Finnick suggested that I take the lead. "Aspen can hear the force field," he explained to Beetee and Johanna.

"Hear it?" Beetee asked.

"Only with the ear the Capitol reconstructed," I said.

If only I hadn't told that lie to Finnick the other day. Because even though it fooled Finnick and the others, it didn't fool someone smart enough to know that it wasn't possible. At least, I didn't feel like it was possible. My hearing probably was a little bit better in the Capitol reconstructed ear, but it wasn't nearly good enough to hear a force field, that probably didn't make any noise. Either way, there was absolutely no way that I was fooling Beetee.

Because surely he remembered that he had showed me how to spot a force field, and he probably knew that it was impossible to hear force fields, anyway. But, for whatever reason, he didn't actually question my claim. Just the way that no one questioned my pregnancy claim, despite the fact that they knew the truth. Maybe he would rather have me walking first so that one of them could stab me in the back before I did the same to them. Not that I would blame them. It would be smart to do something like that.

"Then by all means, let Aspen go first," he said, pausing a moment to wipe the steam off his glasses. "Force fields are nothing to play around with."

Or maybe it was because, like me getting Sponsor packages out of pity from the Capitol citizens, there was another motive that he had for not selling me out. I wasn't sure what his motivations were. I wasn't sure what anyone's motivations were, other than my own and Cato's. Beetee narrowed his eyes at me but said nothing else as he allowed me to walk ahead of him. The lightning tree was unmistakable, considering that it towered so high above the others.

I found a bunch of nuts as we walked and made everyone wait while I moved slowly up the slope, tossing the nuts ahead of me. Just to ensure that we didn't walk into it. We didn't need a repeat of the first afternoon. I saw the force field almost immediately, even before a nut hit it, because it was only about fifteen yards away. As I scanned across the greenery before me, I caught sight of the rippled square high up and to my right. I threw a nut directly in front of me and heard it sizzle in confirmation.

"Just stay below the lightning tree," I told everyone else.

The force field was just behind the tree so we would just have to be careful. I didn't want anyone to die through electrocution. At least, none of my friends. We divided up the duties between everyone. Just to make sure that everyone would have something to do so that we were done in time. Finnick guarded Beetee while he examined the tree, Johanna tapped the trees for water, Cato gathered some nuts, Haymitch sharpened everyone's weapons, and I hunted nearby.

The tree rats didn't seem to have any fear of humans, so taking them down was easy. Was it something that the Gamemakers had done so that I would at least be able to get food for everyone? I couldn't tell. And I wasn't really sure that I cared. I was just glad to get some food. For a long time I walked back and forth, even well after I was sure that I had taken down all of the tree rats in the area. But I wasn't sure that I wanted to go back and see what was going on back at the lightning tree.

Not when we were so close to the end of the Games. I thought for a long time about everything that was happening to me. My thoughts eventually landed on the Everdeen's as I thought about how they were going to get over my death. I was sure that it would affect them poorly. Katniss and Prim would be heartbroken. But they would have each other, and Gale, to help them move past it. I was like Ms. Everdeen's extra daughter, but she had two others that would be there for her. They would be fine.

At least I knew that back in District 2, Cato wouldn't be alone. There were so many people that would manage to help him get over my death. So many people who would protect him in the upcoming months, and maybe even years, before he would manage to get over me. He had his entire family and lots of friends around them that would be there for him and help him get back to his life. Alana and Damien would be there to take care of their son. He had his loving parents.

He had Dean and Carrie who would understand what he was going through. They were the same age but old enough to be able to speak rationally with him. Aidan was rather funny but he would calm down and be there for his brother when he saw just how sad he was. And Leah and Marley would be able to boost his spirits. Plus there was Skye and Julie; one of whom he could fall in love with as he moved on. Cato would be fine. But there came the question on whether or not Gale would be fine with my death.

He was one of the few people that I was genuinely concerned with leaving in this life. He loved me. I was smart enough to know that. And even if he didn't love me, I knew just how close the two of us were. If it was Gale that had died, I would be beside myself. I wasn't sure that I would ever be able to get over his death. He was my best friend and the person that I had grown up thinking that I would marry. All I could hope was that Katniss would be there to help him get over me.

There was so much love in between the two of us. There always had been from the moment that we had met each other. Maybe not that moment, exactly. But even back then we had been reasonably friendly. It had just taken us a long time to calm down and start realizing that we were best off trying to help each other. Not fighting over who would get the best kill and who would take the majority of the money. Once we were friends, when we were kids we were always doing something stupid with each other.

Whether it was throwing each other around in a wrestling match, dunking each other in the lake in the woods, or teaching each other to hunt and track; we had always been the best of friends. And it wasn't very surprising to see that we had been falling in love with each other before the Games. Or, at least, he had been. I had been too focused on surviving the Reaping. Maybe if I'd been paying a little more attention, things would have gone a little differently. Maybe we would be together right now, just like I was with Cato.

The sound of the Jabberjay's starting up in the ten o'clock sector reminded me that I should get back. I turned and headed back into the jungle, following the sound of Finnick and Johanna's voices. I headed back up towards the lightning tree and sat at a slight distance to clean my kills. Once I was done I tossed them over to Johanna to roast as I moved off towards the lightning tree, drawing a line in the dirt a few feet from the force field as a reminder to keep back.

Not long afterwards, Cato and I settled down to roast some of the nuts and sear the remaining cubes of rat that Johanna hadn't finished cooking. As we ate, I glanced around to see what else was going on. Beetee was still messing around the tree, doing things that I was sure that I didn't understand, taking measurements and such. It looked confusing to me. At one point he snapped off a sliver of bark, joined us, and threw it back against the force field. It bounced straight back and landed on the ground, glowing. Everyone watched curiously at the sight. It took a few moments for it to return to its original color.

"Well, that explains a lot," Beetee said.

That explained literally nothing to me. I looked over at Cato and couldn't help but to bite my lip to keep from laughing since it explained absolutely nothing to anyone but Beetee. And it seemed that it amused everyone else, too. Johanna, Finnick, and Haymitch were all rolling their eyes at each other. Just a few moments afterwards, I began to hear the sound of clicks rising from the sector adjacent to us. That meant that it was eleven o'clock. We were getting close to the moment that we would have to leave. It was far louder in the jungle than it was on the beach last night. We all listened intently.

"It's not mechanical," Beetee said decidedly.

"I'd guess insects. Maybe beetles," I said.

"Something with pincers," Finnick added.

Sharing a quick glance with Cato, I cringed at the thought of the pincers digging into my flesh and ripping it off in large chunks. Even the earthquake was a better option. The sound of the insects swelled off in the distance, almost as if they were alerted by our quiet words to the proximity of live flesh. I cringed at the thought of the insects. I wanted to be far away from there whenever that sector was active. Whatever was making that clicking, I was willing to bet that it could strip us to the bone in seconds.

"We should get out of here, anyway. There's less than an hour before the lightning starts," Johanna said.

The six of us all packed up so that we could get out of the area. The last thing that we needed was to get fried by a billion volts of electricity. Or however many there were. We didn't end up going that far, though. We merely moved forward and out towards the identical tree in the blood-rain section. We would be out of here well before Johanna had to deal with it again. I noticed that she looked a little jumpy at the thought of being back here.

We had a picnic of sorts, squatting on the ground, eating our gross-tasting jungle food, and waiting for the bolt that signaled noon. I was hungry but the food was a little too repulsive to enjoy. At Beetee's request, I climbed up into the canopy as the clicking begins to fade out. Out of everyone here, Finnick and I were the best, but I was faster. When the lightning struck, it was extremely dazzling. I wished that I could have a camera to take a picture of it.

As terrible as the Games were, everyone deserved to see something that incredible. Even from the distance that I was at, even in the bright sunlight - it was gorgeous. It completely encompassed the distant tree, making it glow a hot blue-white and caused the surrounding air to crackle with electricity. I swung back down and reported my findings to Beetee, who seemed satisfied, even though I wasn't terribly scientific. At least not compared to the way that Beetee could describe everything.

We went into a complete circle back to the ten o'clock beach. We had to have walked past both Enobaria and Chaff, but neither one of them made their way out to us. The sand was smooth and damp, swept clean by the recent wave earlier this morning. Beetee decided that we would be better off leaving him alone to work on the wire, so he essentially gave us the afternoon off. It reminded me of being in the first Games with nothing to do for most of the days.

It was a strange feeling this time around, with so many of us who had been so busy since the Games had started. But not today. Since the wire was his weapon and the rest of us had to defer to his knowledge so entirely, there was the odd feeling of being let out of school early. Which wasn't something that really ever happened back in District 12. Except for things like the Reaping or the Hunger Games. We had each other to talk with, but knowing that things were so close to the end, it felt a little strange talking.

So we stayed mostly quiet for the afternoon. At first we took turns having naps in the shadowy edge of the jungle with someone always watching over Beetee, but by late afternoon we were all awake and restless. I wanted to go throw some of my knives around, but I knew that it was best to stay around the camp and make sure that not only was Beetee protected, but so was everyone else. Until I had to betray them, they would be my friends.

We eventually decided, since this would probably be our last chance for seafood, to make a sort of feast of it. Haymitch and Johanna stood guard over Beetee while Cato and I walked back out to the beach. Under Finnick's guidance we spear fished and gathered shellfish. It was rather amusing to even go diving for oysters. It was so much fun. It was the only time that I had ever done it before. I liked going diving for the oysters best, and not because I had any great appetite for oysters.

They were quite gross, actually. I had only ever tasted them once, in the Capitol, and the sliminess of them had automatically turned me off. But it was lovely, deep down under the water, like being in a different world. The water was very clear, and schools of bright-hued fish and strange sea flowers decorated the sand floor. After almost an hour I popped back up and turned over to Cato. He was almost completely bare, with the exception of the Capitol-provided underwear. I smiled as him and swam over.

"It's gorgeous down there," I said.

Off to our other side, Johanna, Haymitch, and Finnick were laughing at each other like the oldest of friends. "It's like another world," Cato said.

He sounded like he like it as much as I did. "It's one those moments that I wish that I could live somewhere else. Somewhere else in the world, underwater, or maybe even see what's happening up in space," I whispered, looking down into the crystal-clear water.

Cato watched me for a moment as he brushed the hair off of my shoulders. "I think someone put rocks in your head while you were sleeping," he finally said, nudging me.

"You're such a jerk," I laughed, splashing him.

"But you love me anyways."

"Sometimes."

"All the time. Like that day up on the roof. The night on the train. The morning in the shower," Cato said, dropping his mouth to my ear.

"Cato! Stop. There are cameras."

"I don't recall you complaining last year."

"You're so embarrassing."

We both laughed for a few minutes as Cato pulled the two of us back towards the shore. But he stopped about a hundred yards away. "It is pretty down there. Almost makes you wish that you grew up in District 4," Cato said.

That would have been kind of nice. Although it was still a Career District, as much as I tended to forget about that. "I don't think so. I would have had to deal with Finnick every day," I said, loudly enough for Finnick to hear me.

"What was that?" Finnick called.

"Nothing, handsome," I called back teasingly.

We both laughed loudly as Finnick's head snapped around. I saw that even Johanna and Haymitch were smiling. Of course he knew that it was a joke, but that didn't mean that I was going to get away unscathed. It meant that he was going to come over here and harass me about what I had just said. I laughed softly again as Finnick began to swim over towards me. He would be here in under a second. I gave a very soft squeak as I dipped under the water and pushed off of Cato's legs.

Even from underneath the water I could hear Cato laugh and I felt him stumble backwards in the water as Johanna slunk towards him to talk. It was rather hysterical that Finnick was so much faster than I was. He was over towards me ten times as fast as I had managed to swim. We spent a long time trying to drown each other playfully as Haymitch kept watch and Johanna kept her position over Beetee. Cato went back to shucking the oysters. No one came to bother Finnick or me.

It was a long time before Finnick and I collapsed back on the sand and settled in. My chest was heaving from the lack of air. It was rather exhausting having to try and fight in the water with someone from District 4. It was almost impossible to win against him. Although, I would have won in a bow or knife fight. I could hear Cato laughing at me softly as he worked on the oysters. I would go over and join him as soon as I could manage to get my breath back.

"I think that's the first time that I've had fun in the arena," Finnick said breathlessly.

"Trying to kill me?"

"You would have been dead easily. But I like children and I'm looking forward to being a godfather," Finnick teased.

 _Duh. Remember the baby_. "I'm keeping the baby as far away from you as possible," I snapped.

"No, you won't," Finnick said.

It was definitely the first time that I'd had fun in a long time. It was the first time that I could remember laughing carelessly with someone other than Cato. "I think that's the first time that I've had fun in a long time," I said.

Finnick sat upright before turning and offering me a hand up. "I'm glad that I could help you out with that. Although I'm sure that your husband could help you out there," Finnick said, winking at me.

My face turned a slight red. "With an audience? I think not," I snapped.

No matter whether or not the people in the Capitol wanted to see something like that, I would never let them see us in a position like that. "They might like that," Finnick said, a teasing tone in his voice.

Groaning softly, I shoved Finnick away from me. "Okay, you need to get back to work. We both do," I said.

We both laughed as we moved up the beach. I laid out in the sun so that I could slowly start to dry off from our dip in the water. It was getting a little cold now that the sun was beginning to sink. But the humidity was rising and that would keep us nice and damp for the evening. Johanna continued to keep watch while Finnick, Cato, and I cleaned and laid out the seafood. Haymitch was sitting with Beetee and chatting softly. Cato had just pried open an oyster when I heard him give a laugh.

"Hey, look at this!" he chirped. He held up a glistening, perfect pearl about the size of a pea. "Told you I'd find another one."

"Very good," I said, giggling.

"You've got a good eye," Finnick said.

"I do," Cato said, giving me a pointed look.

"It's pretty," I said softly.

"You know, if you put enough pressure on coal it turns to pearls," Cato said earnestly to Finnick.

"No, it doesn't," Finnick said dismissively.

But I cracked up. It was the memory of how a clueless Effie Trinket presented Peeta and me to the people of the Capitol last year during the Tribute Parade, before anyone knew the two of us. My heart gave a soft twinge at the memory of Peeta. She had told everyone that we were coal pressured into pearls by our weighty existence. Beauty that arose out of pain. It was a lie but it had made the two of us laugh for a long time. I had told Cato about it during the Victory Tour when I'd been trying to get my mind off of things. Cato rinsed the pearl off in the water and handed it to me.

"For you."

"Another one?" I asked.

"Since you lost the other one."

"Not my fault."

"I know. Take it," Cato said.

It was tiny and seemed like I would be able to break it in my palm. And that was the last thing that I wanted to do. We so rarely got to give each other presents that I always held them dear. He had given me the ring, but the Capitol had paid for that. He had given me his heart, and that was the best gift that I could have ever gotten. That was the one gift that I would never be able to give up. No matter how long I lived. Even if it was just for a few more hours.

Cato placed the pearl in my palm and I smiled. It was even prettier than the one that he had given me just yesterday. I held the pearl out on my palm and examined its iridescent surface in the sunlight. I would ensure to keep it with me for the few remaining hours of my life. The last gift that Cato would ever give me. The one true gift that he had given me. Maybe I would be able to hold it in my hands as I drove the tip of my knife through my chest.

Blinking back those thoughts, I turned to Cato and forced a smile. "Thank you," I said, closing my fist around it.

Taking another deep breath, I blinked back a few tears and looked coolly into the blue eyes of the person who had somehow become my greatest opponent. Instead of having to worry about someone else killing me, I now had to worry about the person who would keep me alive at his own expense. No matter what the cost. Cato and I stared at each other for a long time. It might have been making the others uncomfortable, but they weren't going to say anything.

The look on Cato's face told me that there was no way in hell that he was going to let me die for him. But I would. I made myself a silent promise that I would manage to defeat his plan. The laughter drained from Cato's eyes as the memory faded, and they began to stare so intensely into mine, it was like they could read my thoughts. He knew what I was planning. I barely registered Finnick getting up and leaving us to be in our moment.

"One day someone will get you a better present," Cato said.

"This one is perfect," I said quickly.

But I knew exactly what it was that he meant. It would have been almost impossible to not know what he meant. It was practically screaming right in my ears. Shouting about what he was planning to do and the problem that I would have in the coming hours. The problem of keeping Cato alive and killing myself. But his words... Cato meant that someone would give me everything that he couldn't. He meant that Gale was going to give me everything that Cato hadn't been able to.

Cato wanted Gale to be able to give me a family and time. He wanted me to get to have a husband that would actually be able to live with me. He liked the thought of me having my own life in District 12 and the thought that it wouldn't make things harder for anyone. Gale and I were easy. We had always been together and we had always known what to say and do around the other. But Cato was the one that I wanted. He was the one that I would always want.

After our brief conversation, Cato would look at nothing but oysters. And neither would I. The closer that we got to the end, the stranger things were between the two of us. Just as we were about to eat, a parachute appeared bearing two supplements to our meal. Everyone smiled as we jumped up and went over towards the food. Anything was better than just fish. There was a small pot of spicy red sauce and yet another round of rolls from District 3. Finnick, of course, immediately counted them.

"Twenty-four again," he said.

That meant that we were up to thirty-two rolls, then. So we each took four, leaving eight, which wouldn't divide equally unless two more of us died. I was sure that they were thinking that it would be Cato and I. Maybe that would be our breakfast in the morning. If we managed to make it to the morning. Death was impending. For the first time since arriving in the arena, everything seemed tasty. Even the oysters were vastly improved by the sauce. Which was good, since oysters were gross.

We gorged ourselves until no one could possibly hold another bite, and even then there were leftovers. Unfortunately they were fish, and that meant that they wouldn't keep. So we tossed all the remaining food back into the water so that Enobaria and Chaff wouldn't be able to get it when we left. No one bothered with the shells. The wave would clear those away. Once we were done eating, it left nothing else for us to do. At least, not us. We didn't know what to do with the wire, so it meant that Beetee was the only person that could work.

There was nothing to do but wait. Cato and I sat at the edge of the water, hand in hand, wordless. My head was gently resting on his shoulder. Cato had given his speech last night but it hadn't changed my mind, and nothing I could say would change his. The real Games were beginning. Our fight was starting. The time for persuasive gifts was over. I had the pearl, though, secured in a parachute with the spile and the Cato's leg medicine at my waist. I wouldn't lose this one. Maybe the pearl would go back to the Capitol with my body. Surely they would know to return it to Cato before burying my body.

 **A/N:** The final edit is here and the new update will be out soon. **Please review!** Until next time -A

 **Fire'sCatching: Yep! I gave the firestorm a try, a tribute to the first Hunger Games where it happens to Katniss. It was to fill in the gaps on the clock. So was the earthquake. Sorry that this took so long, but I hope that you liked it!**

 **melliemoo: I'm glad that she took on a less woe is me kind of personality in the last chapter. Good, I was concerned about writing the emotional Jabberjay scene. Glad that you liked the action! It's the best part. Nope, you're actually right. I was just tired and not paying too much attention when I wrote that. I swear that I'm actually really good at math lol. Hope you liked this one!**

 **youareinlove: Hi! I actually have thought about writing a Star Trek story. I love James Kirk!**

 **Rene: Oh I'm so happy that you love this story! My deepest apologies for how long this update took. I hope that you like my other stories if you did go and read them. Thank you for reading! I hope that this chapter was deserving of the wait!**


	20. Chapter 20

A few hours passed before the anthem begun, but there were no faces in the sky tonight. I wasn't sure if it was something that I appreciated or something that hurt me. I wanted to get the Games over with and have Cato be the Victor. But I also really didn't want to die. But I would, for Cato. Barely two days had passed, but two-thirds of the Tributes were already dead. From some relatively brutal means, too. It meant nothing. The audience would be restless, thirsting for blood.

Mine? Maybe. Or would they still be pitying me for the pregnancy? Even though there had been magnificent fights, last year's Games had been a slow work. This year they would want things to move faster. Maybe because they were itching to see what would become of Cato and me. They wanted to see how our tragedy would play out. If I was being completely honest with myself, even I wanted to see how the story would play out. Hopefully with me dead and Cato still alive, heading back home to District 2.

Where were we even, at this point last year? We were entering the third day of the Games. That was when I realized what had happened. I had just been mauled by the wolf mutt. I was dying of an infection. My back was almost completely torn open. I was horrified and dreaming of those glowing green eyes. I even remembered a nightmare where Cato had been running from the wolf mutt, too. But then he had transformed into the mutt right before my eyes and had ripped me to pieces. I was lucky that I'd woken up in a sweat and not screaming.

It reminded me of one of the first nights that I had spent with Cato. We had been leaving District 9 on the Victory Tour. It was the night that Effie had given me the pills, after everything that had happened with Corra and her family. After what they had done. That was the night that Cato had slipped into my bed after I had wanted to be alone. That was the night that he had shaken me from the nightmare that I had been trapped in. It had taken almost an hour to calm me down. I could remember the night clearly.

 _Screaming. Screaming bloody murder. That was how I was waking up. "Aspen! Aspen! It's okay, you're fine, you're not in the arena. You're fine. It's me. It's me. You're fine. You're just on the train. It's fine," Cato whispered._

 _We were in bed together. My entire form was soaked. Sweat, more than likely. My back was completely drenched and it had soaked into the sheets. If I was younger I would have thought that I had went the bed. Cato had me in his arms, making me feel even smaller than I was. He was stroking my hair and whispering into my ear. He likely wanted me to say something back to him but I couldn't bring myself to speak. My entire form was shaking like a leaf and tears were falling down my cheeks steadily. And I was hyperventilating._

 _"It's okay," Cato said. "It was just a nightmare."_

 _"Help me," I sobbed._

 _His eyes were pained. "Do you want me to stay?" Cato asked._

 _"Don't leave me."_

 _"Never. I'll never leave you."_

 _"Tell me a story," I said, mirroring what he had once said to me in the arena._

 _"What kind?"_

 _"Something before the Games."_

 _"Okay. Want to hear about the time that my mother talked to me about love and women?"_

 _Humorlessly, I laughed. "Hear about you with other girls?" I asked._

 _"It has a good ending, I promise."_

 _"Okay."_

 _"It was just a few months before the Games. I had brought this girl home with me. Just some girl that I had met at the Academy a few weeks beforehand. Knife thrower. Nowhere near as good as you. She was okay. Very friendly, talked a lot. My family liked her. They were nice to her. But when I left to walk her back home my mother pulled me off to the side for a few minutes. Told me that she just wanted to talk. And that was what she did._

 _"She told me that she liked the girl, that she was friendly, but she didn't like what the girl wanted. She didn't like that all of the girls that I was bringing home only liked me because I was strong, because I was good-looking, and because there was a good chance that I could be a Victor. She wanted me to find a girl that liked me for me. But then I told her that I didn't really care. I told her that I just wanted to have some fun. She wasn't thrilled with me but she liked the honesty._

 _"So I took the girl back home. My mother was never happy that she could hear the doors opening and closing in the middle of the night where I snuck in and out. Everyone knew me. All of the girls knew me. They all wanted me. They all liked trying to think that they could be the one to get with the tough Career. My mother didn't like any of them. I didn't really like them either. They were just something to enjoy for a little while before I got bored and moved on._

 _"Then I volunteered for the Games. I remember being on the train and watching the Reapings. None of them interested me until I saw yours. And I knew that you were beautiful. Not with makeup, like the girls back in District 2. No. I saw the dirt on you. I saw that you were strong but I saw the boniness of your body. I could see how hungry, how starved, how distant you were. You were different. You were strange. I wanted to speak to you. I wanted to mess with you._

 _"But I knew that what I really wanted was you. Just the way that I wanted those girls back in District 2. Clove knew. She shouted at me and told me to ignore you. But I didn't listen to her. I never listened to anyone. When I heard your scream I knew that it was you. I had already remembered your voice. I was so curious that I got my stylist to stop and see what had happened. Then I saw you. And it was then, from that moment, that you had me hooked._

 _"The way that you were sitting there, staring at me, I knew that you were afraid of me. But I knew that you wouldn't show me. So I brought up your parents to see how you would react. And you didn't disappoint. Then I saw you walk in. You barely looked like yourself. I remember wishing that we were alone. And in the Tribute Parade when you drew the crowds attention, you even drew my own. I was staring at you the entire time. I remember never even thinking about killing you that night. I just wanted you._

 _"Then the first day of training came. I wanted you to do well. I didn't know why. But I didn't want you to look like a bumbling idiot. But you did and I figured that maybe you weren't as strong as I thought that you were. But then the second day came and you threw those knives. I knew that I had the entire story wrong. Your entire story. I remember hating when you were speaking to Thresh and Peeta. I only wanted you to speak to me. And I didn't know why. Now I do._

 _"Then I saw you before individual training. I wanted to try and throw you off. But I really just wanted an excuse to talk to you. Brutus was warning me to stop talking to you. But I couldn't. When you told me that I wished for a dance with you, I really did. I wanted that dance. I wanted more. For the first time in my life, I wanted to know someone. I wanted to know everything about you. Everything. From the moment that you were born._

 _"When the scores came out I couldn't believe it. I wasn't upset that you had outscored me. Well, I was. But I was impressed. I was proud of you. I couldn't figure out why. I saw your family's interview. When Gale spoke about you, I was furious. I knew that he had feelings for you and it bothered me beyond belief. There was never a girl that would take another guy over me. Until you. So I went after you, knowing that it could have been a mistake. But it wasn't._

 _"At the party I kissed you. And something stirred in me. Something that I didn't understand at the time. But I do now. Going back to the Training Center that night, I remember thinking about my mother. She had told me that she wanted me to find a girl to love one day. And for the first time when I thought about those words, someone came to mind. And it was you. That night up on the roof, when you told me that I was nothing like you expected, those words shot around my head all night. They still do. I was so in love with you already."_

 _"And now?" I asked._

 _"Even more so. And more and more every day. You make me feel like I'm not just a Career."_

 _"Really?"_

 _"Yes. You make me so much more. You gave me something that no one else ever did."_

 _"What's that?"_

 _"Something to fight for. Someone to fight for."_

 _That was when I realized just how much I loved him. It was that moment, right there. The moment that I realized just how much he meant to me. That moment that I realized how much I meant to him. It was more than I would ever feel with anyone else. It was the moment that I realized that, no matter how much I loved Gale, he would never be Cato. He had shown me his true colors. He had shown me that he did have the capability to be weak. And I was the one person that he could be weak for._

 _"Do something for me?" I asked._

 _"Anything."_

 _"Stay with me. No matter how bad things get, stay with me. I don't want to be alone."_

 _"You're not going to be alone, Aspen. Never. I'm here for you. Now and always. No matter what happens."_

 _"Thank you."_

 _"You should get some sleep."_

 _"I can't," I said weakly._

 _"Go to sleep. I'm right here. I'll stay up all night," Cato promised._

 _"You don't have to do that."_

 _"I do. I'll watch over you."_

 _That triggered something in me, just like that night in the cave after the wolf mutt had triggered something in him. "Why are you so good to me?" I asked._

 _"Because you deserve it. And I'll spend the rest of my life trying to show you just how much you do," Cato said._

 _"Cato -"_

 _"Go to sleep. I'll be here," Cato interrupted._

 _So I did. Because I knew that he didn't want to say anything more. He loved me, he always would, and he wasn't going to be weak anymore. He'd shown me everything that he cared to show me up until that point. And it was far more than I needed. Cato grabbed me and pulled me up onto his chest. His hands went straight to my hair. One slowly stroked back the strands, gently tickling my scalp, while the other wound up underneath my shirt and drew patterns into my skin. Within minutes I was back asleep, having a more peaceful night than I had in months._

 _Then the morning dawned. I woke up from Cato, not my own nightmare. "Aspen!" he shouted._

 _Bolting straight up, I thought that something had happened. "What?" I asked loudly._

 _His frantic eyes found me in a second. "Sorry. Sorry. Just wanted to make sure that you were still here," Cato said._

 _"It's okay. Nightmare?" I asked, figuring that he had dozed off at some point._

 _"Not anymore. You're here. That's all that matters," he whispered._

 _"Always," I promised._

The memory brought back a momentarily good feeling. He had told me stories every night on the Victory Tour afterwards. In the middle of the night, once I woke up from a nightmare. Sometimes it was something as simple as a memory with his family or a childhood incident. Sometimes he just told me about his feelings for me. And sometimes he just talked, about anything and everything and nothing all at once. I would miss those nights. Just hearing his voice. Feeling his hands. Savoring his kisses.

The thoughts about Cato were slowly making me feel depressed. Because I hated the thought that we weren't going to be together for that much longer. I hated thinking that I wouldn't actually get a chance to be with him. Grow old. Maybe even have a family. So I went to thinking about something else. Anything else. Anything other than the looks that Cato kept giving me, probably knowing how upset I was and knowing that something was bothering me.

So I started thinking about the good thing that was coming from being in the arena. Nothing. Literally nothing. And there wasn't much good that we had in here anyways. The only good thing that we had going for us right now was Beetee's trap. It was the one thing that might actually work for us. There was a chance that it was actually going to work. Of course, it would only bring the Death Match that much closer. I kept trying to push that thought out of my mind.

The only thing that mattered right now was that we got rid of Enobaria and Chaff. Beetee's trap held enough promise, though, that the Gamemakers hadn't sent in other attacks. That was good, at least. It meant that we only had the clock to worry about. Otherwise we wouldn't have been able to plan the attack on the remaining two Tributes. Although maybe the only reason that they weren't sending in an attack was because they were simply curious to see if it will work.

Even we were all curious to see what was going to happen with the plan. No one really understood what was happening with the plan. We were all just going along with whatever Beetee wanted us to do and pretending that we understood what he was talking about. I was no moron but I didn't quite understand what he was talking about when he went to talking about the plan. It was a little complicated. Or, at least, it was complicated to the rest of us.

The audience in District 3 were probably laughing and clapping themselves on the forehead, wondering why they hadn't thought of it before. For the rest of us, we just had to sit by and hope that it would all work out. Even so, there was still the fear of what happened next. Once we got rid of Enobaria and Chaff, it would leave only us. And what happened then? Each one of us stabbed the other in the back? No matter what, these Games couldn't have a happy ending. Not when it came down to friends killing each other.

As I steamed in my own worry, Cato came and took a place next to me. "Are you alright?" he asked.

His arm wrapped around me as I gently laid my head down on his shoulder. I was so far from alright that it wasn't even funny anymore. "Is there a such thing as being alright in this place?" I asked rhetorically.

Cato laughed softly. "Not at all. I meant with the plan," Cato said.

"Anything to end the Games," I muttered.

"They won't end. Not with the end of this," Cato said.

"I know. But something to end the Quell. How about that?"

"I guess."

My eyebrows quirked. Just like last night, I could tell that something was wrong. "Are you okay?" I asked.

Cato glanced over at me. "Yes..." But the way that he said it told me that he wasn't okay. Not at all. We were silent for a long while. "If we're the last two in here, do you think that they would give us a few days?" he asked.

"What?" I asked, not understanding.

"Do you think that they would give us a few days? It would be entertaining enough. Just to watch us in the arena, enjoy the last few days of being together," Cato explained.

An interesting proposal. A very interesting proposal. The end of the Games were usually very rushed. Once they got down to the final few players. The players were excited to get it over with and go home and the Capitol was excited to get its Victor. Not to mention that keeping the Games running was a very expensive proposition. But what about this? After all, we had only been in the arena for a few days and it would likely just be the two of us very soon.

Would they want us to rush and end things or would they mind delaying the inevitable? It was something that I hadn't bothered thinking about. Maybe they would enjoy just watching the two of us. Watch us actually be married. Let Cato and I love each other. Watch me hunt, watch him fight, listen to the way that we spoke to each other, see the way that we wrapped ourselves around each other, and hear just how much we really did love each other.

It wasn't something that I could picture them doing. The Capitol people loved us and obviously didn't want us in the Games. They had made that clear during the Interviews. They might like that idea. They might like watching us together for a few days. But the Gamemakers would never let that happen. They wanted our story to end in a sudden tragedy as the two of us fought each other to be the last one alive. A brutal race for suicide, whichever one died first won, or lost, depending on how you looked at it. A story to be told for years to come. The tragic end of the Star-Crossed Lovers from District 2 and District 12.

So I said, "No." Cato rose his brow. "As much as they love us, they want the Games over with. I would love that though. Just a few days to enjoy ourselves."

"Too bad. It's gorgeous in here," Cato said. And he was right. The arena was very pretty. "Like a honeymoon."

Now it was my turn to raise my eyebrows. "What?" I asked.

Cato glanced over at me, just as confused as I was. "A honeymoon." I shrugged my shoulders again. I didn't know what that meant. "It's something that the people in the Capitol do. They get married and then they go on a vacation. Just the two of them to enjoy some alone time before coming back home," Cato explained.

That sounded like a nice time, and just another one of the ways that the Capitol was so preferred over the Districts. We were lucky if we could even afford a dinner the night of a wedding in District 12. "Well this is one hell of a vacation," I muttered.

Cato smiled, grabbing my hand. "I just want as many days with you as I can get," he said.

"We'll have our last few days together. You'll get over me after."

"I think you mean the other way around."

 _No, I don't. You're going to go home and marry either Skye or Julie_. But... Just for this one moment I wanted to be with him. "Come with me," I said suddenly.

Obviously I'd surprised him. "Where?" Cato asked.

"Just come with me."

We were about to walk into the jungle, into one of the sectors that wouldn't be active for hours to come. We were just about to head into the trees when Johanna called us out. "Where are you two going?" she asked.

"We'll be back in five minutes," I called back.

Her eyes narrowed. "I didn't ask how long. I asked where," she snapped.

It was enough to draw the attention of the rest of the people in our alliance. "Either you trust us, or you don't, Johanna. We'll be back," I sneered.

"You're right. I don't trust you. So where are you going?" Johanna asked, hands on her hips.

So I decided to give her the truth. After all, the cameras would see what I was planning on doing. "In the event that this plan doesn't work out as well as we all like to hope that it will, I'd like to have some private time with my husband one last time. If that's alright with you? You're more than welcome to come and watch," I snapped, completely meaning every word.

Johanna's grip tightened on her axe slightly and I reached for my bow. "You know -"

Finnick spoke over her and shoved her back towards the beach. "Five minutes. We'll leave you be," Finnick confirmed.

"Thanks. We'll be back," I said.

The two of us headed straight into the trees. We were only a few yards from the beach, just in case something happened. "Well that was blunt," Cato said, once we were out of earshot of the alliance.

"How else was I going to get her to drop it?" I asked.

"Did you even mean what you said?"

"Partially."

"We could find a nice little cave and pick up where we left off last year."

"Stop," I said, laughing. Just a second later I whacked him over the arm. "Come here." Grabbing him by the arms, I pulled him in for a lingering kiss, but a moment later I pressed my mouth against his ear. "What did you mean earlier?"

It was soft enough so that the Capitol wouldn't be able to hear what we were saying. "Excuse me?" he asked.

"About Gale? There was something... strange about the way that you said it."

"After everything is over, after the Games are done and I'm gone, I want you to be able to move on. The only thing that I've ever wanted was for you to be happy. I've seen the way that he looks at you. He's in love with you. He can give you the life that I can't," Cato said, making my heart give a painful twinge.

The worst part was that he knew. He knew that some part of me still had the slightest feelings for Gale. Not that I wanted to. It was just from all of those years thinking that one day Gale and I would get married. And the knowledge that he was in love with me. Because he'd never made it a secret. And I had once told Cato about Gale's feelings. I wished that I hadn't. Because now he couldn't get it out of his head that there would be someone else to protect me once he was gone.

But he didn't understand that I couldn't be without him. I was in love with Cato. I was right now and I always would be. There was just something that he had that Gale didn't have. Not that I had ever really tried with Gale. But I knew the truth of what I had said last night on the beach. That there would only be one person damaged beyond belief if Cato died. Me. I wouldn't be able to put myself back together after that. His death would destroy me. He was stronger than me. He could force himself to move on.

And that horrible thing that he had said. That horrible thing that wasn't at all the truth. He had given me something that Gale could have never given me. Cato had given me the knowledge that I could be in love with someone. President Snow had been right about one thing. I'd never known love from parents or a romantic love from Cato. But he was wrong that Cato hadn't shown me what it was like. He had shown me. And now that I'd seen it, I would never be able to find it elsewhere.

"You can. You have," I said, feeling my voice crack as it always did when I was upset.

Cato shook his head and grabbed my hand, pressing his lips against my fingers, where the blisters had healed. "I haven't, Aspen. I haven't given you a single thing that you really need," Cato said.

"You've given me everything that I need. You've given me you. That's all that I want," I said desperately.

I felt the corners of his lips turn upwards on my hand. "And I want you to move on. He'll treat you right. He won't do half of the things that I ever did to you. Just promise me that you'll try," Cato begged.

"Would you make me the same promise?"

Cato hesitated. "No."

"There's your answer."

"Please try."

That was all that I needed. To leave with the faith that one day he might be able to move on. "Okay. Be with Sky and Julie then," I prompted.

Cato's face fell slightly. "Aspen -"

"I made you the promise. Now you make me that promise," I demanded.

"Okay," he said, in a dead sort of voice.

I was no fool. I knew that he was thinking of ways to protect me and then beat me to offing himself. "Maybe we can weasel out those few extra days," I teased.

"Come here. I don't want to talk about that."

And I didn't want to talk about anything like that either. But I was smart enough to know that we would have to talk about it. Even if we could get rid of everyone else without being badly injured, it would then leave the two of us. And it didn't matter what a few sweet words, two daggers, or a desperate act would do. They would sooner let us both die. Chances were that we would not be the final two standing anyways. But... if we were. Maybe we could take that honeymoon on the beach after all.

Just a few days of peace and quiet. It would be amusing enough. We could collect the mangroves from the trees. Maybe a Sponsor would send us the feast like they had at the end of last year's Games. The two of us could go spear fishing and swim with the fish. We could wrestle in the sand, create bouquets, and try to fill as many hours with sweet words to each other as possible. And when I died... Cato could hold me like he had with the Morphling and tell me about the sunset. That was when I wanted to die.

Watching the sun go down. Peaceful and fast. The perfect end to a horrible life. Something pretty to dream about. That was what I liked to imagine. That my death would be more like falling asleep. Maybe I could ask Cato to sing to me, just the way that I had done for Rue. Someone to sit with me and be a form of comfort. The Capitol people would cry, Cato would cry, and my family would cry. But the Games would be a perfect tragedy and Cato would finally be allowed to live as a peaceful solo Victor.

Yes. That would be a nice way to end my life. Cato leaned forward and pressed his lips against mine slowly. The breath in my lungs left me - the moist and thick breath - as Cato pressed me back into the rubbery tree. The Capitol people would love this. The lechery in them desperate for this to go even further than it had last year in the cave. But I wasn't sure that I cared so much this year. About people seeing us together. They would know that we spent nights together, because of the baby.

Although the thought of Prim and Gale watching the screen would keep me from doing anything too embarrassing. In the meantime I knew that the Capitol audience was dying to know what the first part of the conversation was about. But that was one thing that they would never get to know. They didn't need to know. And the truth was, I could never be with Gale anyways. They thought that he was my cousin. The Capitol would expect me to live the rest of my life mourning Cato.

Which might have been easier. No having to make the deal about moving on. Because the Capitol would never let me. Would they let Cato? I wasn't so sure. They might. As for now, all of him belonged to me. All proven by the ring that sat on my finger. Which was my token. The Mockingjay pin was hidden underneath my sleeve, although by now everyone could see it, since the sleeves were being used for other people's injuries. Cato's ring was looped around his necklace, technically counting as his one token.

Cato placed a hand on my bare thigh and pulled me straight up and against him. I laughed into his mouth as the minutes ticked by. Much longer than our time limit, but if they looked hard enough they could see us. They wouldn't come and bother us. Not right now. Eventually Cato leaned back and pressed me down into the mossy grass. The two of us shared a long and heated kiss as Cato ran his hands through my hair, keeping me pressed against him, almost melding our bodies together.

We both laughed as his hands slowly tickled up my thighs. The searing pain from the blisters from the fog and fire was gone. The dull throb was still there, but his touch tickled more than anything else. His fingertips gently followed the pattern of the scar that the black bear had once left and continued winding their way up my legs. It had long since felt better. Although I could only imagine how he felt as he was running his hands over my body. We had all sorts of disgusting things that were coating our bodies.

Unfortunately we really could have used a nice long shower together. Or at least another dip in the ocean. I was still sweating - as was Cato - and I still had some of the dirtied skin just from being in the arena. It was very hard to stay clean this year. Even more than last year. Plus some of my skin was still slightly blistered from the poison fog and peeling from the last layer of medicine, even though it was almost all off now. It hadn't changed the color of my skin this time. We pulled apart after a long time, panting and breathless with flushed faces.

Obviously we both wanted nothing more than to continue. "We look horrible," I said, laughing.

"You look horrible. I'm gorgeous," Cato said.

"Careful. I think that Finnick is starting to rub off on you," I teased. We both laughed as I looked back towards the beach. "We should head back. I think it's been more than five minutes."

"So we can afford a few more minutes."

He was right about that. Like I had realized before, they weren't going to come and look for us. They didn't care what we were doing as long as we weren't trying to abandon the alliance. Cato brought his mouth back down to mine and I smiled as one hand tightened against the hip that hadn't been burned. I recognized the way that he was grabbing it. It was the way that he would grab it in the middle of the night when he was having a nightmare. His recurring one. About losing me.

A few minutes later he released me to come up for air. I gently ran my thumb over his bottom lip. "I want to go back to that day on the roof," I said softly.

What was it that he had said? _I wish I could freeze this moment, right here, right now, and live in it forever._ Now I knew exactly what he meant. And I knew that he was right. I wanted to go back to that moment. I wanted to go back to lying in his lap, blankets drawn up against my chest, warm and comfortable. Safe. In love. Perfect.

"Me, too. I wish that we could have stayed there forever," Cato whispered.

"Just like that?" I asked.

"Just like that. Wrapped in each other, in the blankets, without having to even speak. I liked drawing you. Seeing you relaxed. I don't get to see that too often."

He was right about that. Even now, my muscles were clenched with anticipation. His hands were slowly kneading into the one spot in between my shoulders that was usually the worst about keeping the tension. Sometimes I would wake up in the morning and feel him working at it, trying to get me to relax. It was the tension in between the shoulders that would sometimes make me feel like I was going to snap in half. Just the way that I had once thought that he was going to do to me.

"I'm not usually. Unless I'm with you," I finally said.

"Smile for me," Cato said, his hand lingering at the edge of my mouth.

"Why?"

"I like your smile."

That made the corners of my lips tilt upwards. "Come on, we really should get back and see if they need any help before we get going," I said sadly.

"Okay."

Cato peeled himself off of me and gave me a hand up. My legs were groaning in protest and my shoulders whined at the loss of his touch. But, as we walked, Cato took to walking behind me. My bow was in my hands and loaded as Cato used one hand to keep a grip on his sword. But his other went back to working at that spot. We easily made it back to the beach. No one questioned how long we had been gone or what we had been doing. His hands on me, our flushed faces and mussed hair was enough to tell them all that they needed to know.

But, of course, Finnick had to make some noise. "That was more than five minutes," he teased, walking up to me.

"Shut up," I snapped.

"A lot can happen in ten minutes," Finnick said.

"I'm going to stab you if you don't stop," I growled.

The two of us laughed as we all went to simply lingering around the beach. There wasn't very much that we could do. We were just waiting for midnight to arrive so that we could enact the plan. So we just went about to doing whatever it was that we felt like. For a while I took arrow after arrow and shot them into the trees. Then I took some time to teach Cato. Like he had told me last year, he wasn't half-bad with them. He definitely knew how to make his mark.

But the moment that I started to get him to make trick shots, he became completely useless. He eventually learned how to load the bow after doing a shoulder roll but he was very sloppy and sometimes fell. Finnick was better at it. But I was the best, by far. Finnick showed us how to fight with a trident, which was hard but actually reasonably fun. Johanna had pointed out that I wasn't bad with it and would likely be a good fighter with some kind of staff. It was probably the nicest that I'd heard her be to me.

Not long afterwards we all went to just speaking to each other. It was nice and reasonably peaceful. But the more that we spoke the more that I realized that we were all friends. Even Johanna and me, in our own strange way. Beetee was still quiet, likely drawn in by his own plan, but he was just as nice as he had been that day in the Training Center. I could tell that he missed Wiress and her loss was likely very hard on him. They were abut the same age. They had likely known each other since they were kids.

Finnick pulled me close and told me the story about how he had Mentored Annie just a few years ago and how he had fallen in love with her kind personality. It broke my heart. He wasn't doing it to try and get me to let him live. He was telling me because he wanted me to know who she was before her District partner had been beheaded in front of her. It didn't make it easier to hear him tell me about her, his voice full of love in its purest form.

Johanna and I didn't speak much, but we did find ourselves smirking each time one of us made some type of bitter comment. We were definitely the biggest downers in the alliance. And Haymitch... He had spent most of the evening making nice little digs at me, as he always had liked to do. It once ended up with me pouncing on him and the two of us throwing each other over in the sand. It had mostly been playful but we had stopped once Finnick and Cato had warned us about being mindful of my condition.

We had stopped and shared a brief hug, reminding me of what a horrible person I was, as I was planning on managing a way to kill Haymitch after the plan was over. I was very glad when Cato asked to borrow me. We hid under one of the mangrove trees, where I was sure that no cameras could actually see us, and wrapped ourselves around each other. It was somewhere in a state between being awake and being asleep, kissing and touching each other, laughing and just staring at each other.

No one bothered us and I appreciated it. Just in case this didn't work out the way that we wanted, I wanted to remember him. Every bit of him. My hands slowly traced the outlines of his body and I smiled at him as his mouth slowly pressed itself to mine. His hands very gently trailed over my body, remembering each bit of me, barely actually making contact. But it was enough to remind me that he was not weak. But there was one person that he could be weak for. Me. Always me.

We only stopped when I heard the anthem begin. Cato pulled himself off of me and gave me a hand back out to the beach. The anthem was still playing and the sky was lit up with the seal as we all stared up. But there were no faces in the sky tonight. The audience would be restless, thirsting for blood after the past two intense days of fighting. Beetee's trap held enough promise, though, that the Gamemakers hadn't sent in other attacks. Perhaps they were simply curious to see if it would work.

The rest of the early evening was spent in relative silence. Everyone knew what was about to happen. We would likely kill Chaff and Enobaria and then it would just be us. At what Finnick and I judged to be about nine, we left our shell-strewn camp, crossed to the twelve o'clock beach, and began to quietly hike up to the lightning tree in the light of the moon. Our full stomachs made us more uncomfortable and breathless than we were on the morning's climb. I began to regret those last dozen oysters.

Finally we arrived at the tree. "Finnick, would you mind helping?" Beetee asked.

"Sure," Finnick said.

"What can the rest of us do?" Haymitch asked.

"Stand guard," Beetee said.

So we did. It was obvious enough that this was all on Beetee. The rest of us were close to being completely clueless about what to do with the tree and the wire. So we went to doing what we were all good with. Using sharp and pointy things to kill people. Haymitch stood the closest to Beetee and Finnick. Cato watched from the back, near the force field, for a short-range attack. Johanna was on one side of the tree while I stood watch facing the beach. With the only long-range weapon, it made sense.

"Minimal charring. Impressive conductor," Beetee said.

We all turned back for just the briefest of moments. I had a feeling that Chaff and Enobaria likely knew about the clock right now. They would know that the lightning sector would be active soon enough, so that likely meant that they were on the other side of the arena. We would be safe from an attack for a while from them. When I turned back, I realized what he meant. This was the lightning tree, which was struck directly, but it barely looked touched.

Not that I really knew what it should have looked like. Burned to a crisp, I assumed. I knew enough about fire from coal and the mines back in District 12, but as for electricity, that was all on Beetee. He spoke as he worked, but to me it was like when I had first started to learn how to decipher Mags's garbled speech. I knew that he was speaking, but I would have been taking a guess at what he meant. The rest of us went back to standing guard.

"Let's get this started," Beetee said.

Before he even attached any wire to the tree, Beetee unrolled yards and yards of the stuff. It was a long way around. I assumed that we would have no problem getting it all the way back to the beach. Which was a good thing, considering that the wire would have to reach all the way down there. As I watched the jungle and towards the beach, I also glanced back from time to time to see what was happening with the tree. I noticed that everyone else was, too, probably just as curious as I was.

Beetee had Finnick secured the wire tightly around a broken branch and laid it on the ground. That much didn't make sense to me. It didn't look like Finnick really understood what he was doing either. He was just listening to whatever it was that Beetee told him to do. Then they stood on either side of the tree, passing the spool back and forth as they wrapped the wire around and around the trunk. My eyebrows quirked when I saw the finished product. Or, almost finished.

With every branch it was wrapped around what could have been hundreds of times. Each branch was connected to the next by at least thirty passes of the wire. It made sense now, why Beetee wanted Finnick to help him. There was no way that he could have done it by himself. It also made sense why we were here so early. This alone was taking at least two hours. I wondered if this was similar to what Beetee had done in his first Games. How had he done something like this all by himself?

At first the pattern seemed arbitrary, far too complicated for a plan that up until now had seemed so simple - just extending the wire to the beach - but then I saw a pattern, like an intricate maze, appearing in the moonlight on Beetee's side. I wondered if it made any difference how the wire was placed, or if that was merely to add to the speculation of the audience. If it was only designed to look a little more impressive. I bet that most of them knew as much about electricity as I did.

The work on the trunk was completed just as we heard the Jabberjay's begin. Now I realized that it wasn't just my loved ones. There were other screams that were mixed in. I noticed that everyone became very uncomfortable as we worked and stood guard. A few times people would cringe, or make the slightest movement, thinking about running off, before moving back to stand still. I was very glad when Beetee spoke up again, to reveal the rest of the plan.

"Typically a lightning strike contains five billion joules of energy," Beetee said, finishing wrapping up a piece of the wire around one of the limbs. "We don't want to be anywhere in the vicinity when this hits."

"So we make a run for it before the lightning bolt hits?" I asked.

"Yes. You two girls, go together now. Take this," Beetee said, handing over the spool to Johanna and me. "Unspool it carefully. Make sure the entire coil is in the water. You understand?"

"We can do it," I said.

Immediately I understood what he was getting at. Since we moved the most swiftly through the trees, and time was not on our side, of course he would want Johanna and me to take the coil down through the jungle, unwinding the wire as we went. We were to lay it across the twelve o'clock beach and drop the metal spool, with whatever was left, deep into the water, making sure it sank. Then run for the jungle. If we went now, right now, we should be able to make it to safety.

But that was also when a flare of suspicion rose in me. I knew that it was a part of the plan. I knew that it was the plan that we had been developing for hours. This was what we had agreed to do. And I knew that Johanna was the fastest, besides me. Cato was fast, but not fast enough. We were lighter-footed. But could it have been a way to separate Cato and me? Judging by the look on his face, he was thinking the same thing. And by my silence, the others knew what we were thinking, too.

"I want to go with them as a guard," Cato said immediately.

There was a little hint of relief that flooded me. I had been hoping that he would say something like that. Besides, Cato would be outnumbered here. And Finnick could prove a real adversary. And Johanna, she was incredibly unstable. I couldn't anticipate what her move would be. We would be too far away to make a break for each other. Plus I knew that after our conversation and the moment with the pearl, I knew that he was less willing than ever to let me out of his sight.

"You're too slow. Besides, I'll need you on this end," Beetee said.

"But -" I started.

"We'll meet you at the tree in the two o'clock sector," Beetee interrupted.

"Hang on," I interrupted again.

"Aspen will guard. She's good with long and short distance," Beetee said.

"Maybe Cato should go with them," Haymitch said.

My head whipped over to him. Was he starting to get suspicious, too? I was giving him a long look but he could only do so much. He couldn't speak to me. Not with everyone else listening. And I wasn't that good at reading his eyes. I needed words, words that he couldn't give me right now. My hands were shaking slightly, itching at the knife that was at my side. I would drop them all right now if need be, but we needed to finish this plan. But I couldn't risk Cato just to do it...

"There's no time to debate this. I'm sorry. If the girls are to get out of there alive, they need to move now," Beetee said.

"Why can't Finnick, Haymitch, and Johanna stay with you and Cato and I will take the coil?" I asked snappily.

"No. You're staying here to protect me and the tree," Beetee argued.

"No. I need to go with her," Cato said.

"She'll be fine. We'll be back together in a matter of minutes. It's just about who can move the fastest," Beetee said.

"Beetee... In Aspen's condition -" Haymitch started.

"I'll watch out for her. And I'll keep the spool. All she has to do is watch out for me. And it's safer to have her away from the tree anyways," Johanna stepped in.

Obviously Haymitch was on my side about wanting to stay with Cato. But no one else was. We needed to avoid the fight for now. Plus the minutes were ticking away. If we wanted to make this work and avoid being cooked alive, we would have to come to a conclusion within the next minute or so. Which meant no more arguing. I had to do what they wanted me to do. As much as I wanted to have Cato with me, they were right. He would only slow us down and walk too loudly, potentially drawing Enobaria.

Beetee suddenly walked up to me and my hands tensed slightly. "You all agreed to keep me alive till midnight, correct?" Beetee asked, standing over me.

"It's his plan. We all agreed to it," Johanna said.

"Yes, I know," I said.

"Is there a problem here?" Finnick asked, staring straight at me.

"Excellent question," Beetee said, also staring at me.

Suddenly I realized how unwise a fight would be. As much as I didn't want to do this, I knew that they were all right. Cato and I wouldn't be fast enough. Finnick and Johanna were masters of speed. They could take down Cato and me before we could reach our own weapons. And with my bow slung over my back, it would take me too long to reach it. We were outnumbered and obviously right now we were the least trusted. We would have to go along with what they said.

"No. There's no problem. Johanna and I will take the coil," I confirmed.

"Aspen -" Haymitch warned.

"We don't have time," I said, ignoring his tone that told me to listen to him. "We'll be back together soon."

He looked like he might have wanted to say something else, but he stayed quiet. Beetee handed the coil to Johanna. I didn't like the plan any more than Cato did, who was now scowling at everyone. How could I protect him at a distance? But Beetee was right. With his fog-eaten leg, Cato was too slow to make it down the slope in time. Johanna and I were the fastest and most sure-footed on the jungle floor. I couldn't think of any alternative. And if I trusted anyone here besides Cato, it was Beetee.

Some part of me trusted Finnick, too, but sometimes it was hard. With his confident personality and little jibes, sometimes I had to wonder just how hard he was going to fight to get back to Annie. Hard enough to kill me? I would fight hard enough to kill him for Cato. And Haymitch... I trusted Haymitch. But what Cato said before was the truth. Haymitch had made a double-deal and only one was real. Which one? I didn't trust Johanna at all, another reason that I didn't want to be alone with her.

"It's okay. We'll just drop the coil and come straight back up," I told Cato.

"Not into the lightning zone. Head for the tree in the one-to-two-o'clock sector. If you find you're running out of time, move over one more. Don't even think about going back on the beach, though, until I can assess the damage," Beetee reminded us.

"Okay," I said.

"Move fast. We're getting close to the time limit," Cato warned.

I took Cato's face in my hands. "Don't worry. I'll see you at midnight," I promised.

Cato nodded, his hands sitting on my waist, one carefully avoiding my still-healing burn. "Hey. How many times have we walked away from each other before?" Cato asked.

"What?"

"During the last Games. How many times did the two of us walk away from each other?"

At the Bloodbath, that first night with the girl from District 8, the cave after the wolf mutt, the night that the Careers had cornered me in the tree, my birthday after the fire and fight with the boy from District 9, and after the Tracker Jackers. And that had only been before we'd gotten together. When we had first gone out hunting, when I had gone out the next morning to catch breakfast, when I had gone to get more soup, the feast, and then the Death Match. Eleven times we had walked away from each other.

"A lot. And it hurt more and more each time," I finally answered.

"It was always me walking away," Cato said.

"I walked away a few times," I said.

"Just a few times and you were always close," Cato said.

"Funny. This time it's me that's walking away," I tried to tease.

"Not forever," Cato said.

"Not forever," I confirmed. "What was your point, about walking away from each other in the first Games?"

"All of those times. On your birthday, during the Bloodbath, a few days after the wolf mutt attacked you, the first night, all those other nights, the morning of the feast, and the Death Match. So many other times before and after the Games. And even in these ones. There's something that they all have in common," Cato explained.

"What's that?" I asked.

"We always came back to each other."

"And we'll come back this time. We won't be long."

"Hang on." Cato grabbed onto my arm and pulled me closely into him. "Take this," Cato said, handing me a small throwing knife. "If you think that she's going to do something -"

"Cato -"

"I like everyone here... But if it comes down to you or them, it has to be you."

"Okay. Be careful here. They outnumber you," I whispered.

Cato nodded at me. "I'll see you soon, okay?" Cato asked.

"Just be careful."

"You too. Enobaria isn't your biggest fan right now."

"Honestly, who is?"

The two of us stared at each other for a moment. I memorized every line and every mark. Just in case something happened. The loving look that he was giving me with just a tiny hint paranoia. He feared for me. I knew that the others were sick of waiting for us to get moving so I leaned in and gave him a kiss. He caught the back of my neck and brought me in a lingering kiss. We backed off and I stood close to his chest, giving him a reassuring nod.

"I love you," Cato said, brushing my hair back.

"I love you, too."

"Always, Aspen," Cato promised.

"I'll see you at midnight," I promised. Before he could object any further, I let go of him and turned to Johanna. "Ready?"

"Why not?" Johanna offered with a shrug.

She was clearly no happier about being teamed up than I was. Not that I cared. My bow and arrow would be trained on the woods, just in case Enobaria or Chaff got a little too friendly. But it would also be trained on her. Just in case she made a sudden move. I didn't think that she would, but Cato now had me ten kinds of paranoid. Because he was right. We might have liked each other, but we couldn't trust each other. Hopefully right now she was too caught up in Beetee's trap to think about attacking me.

"You guard, I'll unwind. We can trade off later," Johanna said.

Easier work for a pregnant woman. Without further discussion, we headed down the slope. I trailed in back of Johanna slightly and turned back. Cato was staring after me. We stared at each other for a long while before I gave him a final nod and turned to face front, not speaking. In fact there was very little discussion between us at all. We moved at a pretty good clip, one manning the coil, the other keeping watch. About halfway down, we heard the clicking beginning to rise, indicating that it was after eleven.

"Better hurry. I want to put a lot of distance between me and that water before the lightning hits. Just in case Volts miscalculated something. Frying isn't how I want to go," Johanna said.

"Me either," I admitted.

As we walked I let my mind wander. I was alert enough that I could hear if anything was coming. Plus I had Johanna to listen, too. One of us would hear and alert the other if we heard something coming. So I flashed back to some of the funniest memories that I had. The first of which was the day that I met Gale. It was a strange day. But it was a day that I was incredibly grateful for. It had started like normal, but it had ended very differently. I was glad for the way that it had ended.

The second of my memories was the day of my eighteenth birthday. Shockingly enough it had been almost two years ago. Two, very different, years. So much had happened in just the two years that had passed. It was the night that the two of us fell asleep together, watching the stars. The day that I'd had to convince Katniss that nothing was going on between us. The thought almost made me smile. If things had gone just a little differently, the two of us might have already been married.

Who would have thought that we would have come so far in just eleven years? Katniss and Gale had only been close for about five. It had taken me a long time to get the three of us to get to know each other. So I thought about the day that Gale and I had officially met. I had been only eight-years-old, the same as Gale. Katniss was only six, but already brave and strong. Prim was only two, still babbling in her mother's arms and laughing with her father.

 _Strolling out of the bedroom that Katniss and I shared - as Prim was still in her parents room so that they could get her in the middle of the night - I smiled at the rest of the Everdeen family. Prim was sitting in her mothers arms as Katniss was sitting on the kitchen counter, working on lunch with her father. They all glanced up at me, seemingly noticing that I was about ready to go out. Mostly considering I was wearing the clothes that I normally did when I went out into the woods._

 _"Where are you going?" Katniss asked squeakily._

 _"Out on a hunt," I said._

 _"By yourself?" Katniss asked, surprised._

 _Mr. Everdeen had been teaching me lately. This would be the first time that I would go out there alone. "Not to worry. I've been teaching her," Mr. Everdeen consoled his eldest daughter. "You remember what I taught you?"_

 _"Yep!" I chirped brightly._

 _I wanted to prove myself to him. Show him that I remembered what he taught. "Gather fruits and berries today, you understand? No weapons without me out there to supervise you," Mr. Everdeen demanded._

 _"I understand," I said._

 _"Be back in an hour!" Mr. Everdeen called._

 _"And be careful!" Ms. Everdeen shouted._

 _"I will. See you later, Cat. Bye, Bug!" I called back._

 _The family of four all called out their goodbyes as I headed straight for the fence. I ran through the District and smiled at some of the people who were standing around. Some were neighbors and some were friends from school. Not really friends, but people who I would converse with, just so that I wasn't alone all day. I passed through the Meadow a moment later, checked to make sure no one was watching, ensured that the fence wasn't electrified, before slipping under and heading straight out._

 _As much as I would have loved to take out the knives and work on my aim, I knew that I had to listen to what Mr. Everdeen had told me. And that meant not touching the weapons until he was out here to use them with me. So I went out and collected some blueberries and blackberries. Then I got some chickweed and dandelions to add to the meal. I even set out a few traps as best as I could remember Mr. Everdeen showing me. They probably weren't done right, but I had tried. Unfortunately there didn't seem to be much in the woods._

 _That was until about an hour later, when I was crossing the stream to try and see if I could catch some fish. Standing just near the edge of the water, across the bank, was a young boy. He appeared to be about ten or eleven. He had his back to me so I couldn't see his face. But he was large. I did notice that he had a few squirrels sitting in a pile just behind him. He must have caught them through a trap. They had no bloody marks on them. If I was fast, I could get them. He wouldn't even see me..._

 _Mr. Everdeen definitely wouldn't be happy that I had done that, but it would make a good dinner for us. We were still waiting on his newest paycheck from the mines. Right now we were low on money and trying to save up. Food always seemed to be last priority and I wasn't old enough to take out Tessera. So I slowly strolled up, using the slow hunters march, before ducking just behind him. I managed to hook my hand around the squirrel belt and drag them away. Unfortunately I tripped over a root as I was trying to sprint away._

 _The boy whipped around to me. "Hey! Get back here!" he shouted._

 _In a sudden panic that the boy had actually seen me, I jumped straight up and sprinted off as fast as I possibly could. He couldn't catch me. I didn't want to know what would happen if he caught me. He was likely stronger and would not be happy that I had stolen either his trade or his dinner. I thought about dropping his squirrels - as it might have made him stop - but I wasn't willing to let them go. I had gotten them this far. I wasn't stopping now._

 _We were weaving back and forth in between the trees and I found myself very grateful that Mr. Everdeen would run through the woods with me whenever I wanted. I was used to these woods. I knew them by heart. I hopped over fallen trees, desperate to take the squirrels and get to the Hob. I could sell them and be back in time for dinner. I could pretend that I had gotten them through the snares. Katniss and the rest of the Everdeen's would never need to know what had happened._

 _Just as I was thinking that I might have gotten away from the boy - as I turned back and spotted that he was no longer behind me - I grinned and sped up. I wasn't far from the fence. But my thoughts were put on halt when someone barreled into me from the side. I was thrown off of my feet and sent into a roll as the boy hopped on top of me. My mouth dropped open and I bit back a scream in horror. No one could know that I was out here. If we were caught, I would be shot. But I had so been praying that he wouldn't catch me._

 _Maybe there was a chance that I could still get away from him. I kneed the boy in the stomach and heard his grunt. I was desperate to get away from him. We ended up throwing each other over ourselves, him desperate to get his squirrels back, and me desperate to get away from him. I was trying to kick myself away from the boy and right myself. I was faster. I could still get away from the boy if I really tried. And I needed to try. He was much larger than me. He could kill me if he wanted to._

 _That was the first thing that genuinely terrified me. I was only eight! I wasn't even eligible for this kind of thing - the Hunger Games - for another four years. Early training, I supposed. Scared beyond belief, I brought up my hands and started scratching over his chest and face, desperate for him to let me go. He was clearly in a lot of pain. I heard him shouting in pain from the force and sharpness of my nails but he managed to hang onto me. Finally, after nearly five minutes, the boy finally let go of me._

 _Rejoiced that he had released me, I scrambled back to my feet and ran off. But I had barely made it about ten steps before he jumped after me and caught me around the legs. He took much longer strides than I did. The boy pulled me down and I grunted, finally releasing my grip on the squirrels. But the boy didn't go for his lost squirrels. He jumped on top of me and reared back to punch me in the face. I squeaked in fear, bracing myself for the pain that was to come. But it never did._

 _"You're a girl," the boy said, hesitating and staring at me._

 _"Well spotted," I growled. "Look, you can take your squirrels back, just let me go!"_

 _"I'm not going to hit you, you can stop cringing," the boy said._

 _"Let me up," I demanded._

 _If he wasn't going to hit me, I didn't want him on me anymore. The boy actually, surprisingly enough, got off of me and let me back to my feet. I stared at him and noticed that he was actually rather handsome. He had those gray Seam eyes and dark brown hair that was standing on top of his head. His eyes were piercing straight through me as he stared. I knew that he was looking over me in the exact same way that I was staring at him._

 _The longer that I looked at the boy, the more that I realized that the boy wasn't as old as I had originally pegged him for. It turned out that I actually knew the boy. I realized it the more and more that I looked at him. He was my age. I knew that because we had classes together. He stayed about as far away from the rest of the kids that I did. We had a few classes together. I didn't sit near him in any of them but I had noticed him a few times before. Noticed how old he always looked._

 _"Are you from the merchant side?" the boy asked._

 _He was asking because of my blonde hair and halfway-blue eyes. "Seam," I answered._

 _"But your hair," the boy said._

 _"Just a coincidence. My parents were both Seam residents."_

 _The boy nodded and looked me over again. "I've seen you before," he finally said._

 _"I think we have classes together."_

 _The boy nodded absentmindedly. "What's your name?" he asked._

 _"Aspen. Aspen Antaeus."_

 _"Antaeus..." the boy trailed off, his face knotting into one of recognition. "Didn't your -?"_

 _"Yes. I don't talk about it," I interrupted._

 _"Sorry."_

 _"It's okay. What's your name?"_

 _"Gale Hawthorne. So you're a hunter?"_

 _He knew the answer anyways, considering that we were both out here. "Yeah. I was coming out here to get some food for my family. We don't have a ton of money so we learned to hunt. Just collecting some berries and plants. Setting some snares," I said._

 _"You know you shouldn't be telling me this," Gale said._

 _"You're out here, too. Makes me think that my secret is safe with you," I said._

 _"Those your snares back there?" Gale asked._

 _"Yes."_

 _"They're terrible."_

 _"Thanks," I snapped._

 _"The animals will see it," Gale said._

 _"Well I normally catch them fresh. I don't worry about snares too often."_

 _"Weapons?"_

 _"Yes."_

 _"Which ones?"_

 _"Knives... Bow and arrow."_

 _"You're only eight."_

 _"So what? The Hunger Games start at only twelve," I argued._

 _"Fair enough," Gale said. "You mentioned your family. Aren't they -?"_

 _"Yeah. No, I meant the family that took me in after... I live with the Everdeen's," I said._

 _"Oh, yeah. My father works with theirs. Knives?" Gale asked, spotting the one in the holster at my hip._

 _"Mr. Everdeen taught me," I said._

 _"Are you good with them?" Gale asked._

 _"I'm alright," I said, not wanting to give too much away._

 _"I think that you're a little better than alright," Gale said suspiciously._

As I looked him over I realized something. He was definitely good-looking. I remembered the girls in school mentioning him. He would definitely be strong enough to handle the work in the mines when he came of age. And there was the fact that he could obviously hunt. I could tell by the way the girls whispered about him when he walked by in school that they wanted him. And suddenly I did, too. But not for the reason that people would think. Good hunting partners would be hard to find.

 _"Come hunting with me one day and I'll show you," I offered._

 _We didn't have to be friends. I didn't want to be friends. But... Maybe we could help each other out. Gale's eyebrow raised. "You just met me. Do you already trust me?" he asked._

 _"No," I said, a little too quickly. "But it gets a little lonely out here sometimes. And maybe we can change that. The trust thing."_

 _We didn't have to be friends to trust each other. Gale slowly nodded. Maybe he was just as lonely as I was. "What do you say that we take these to the Hob, Aspen Antaeus? You can tell me all about your knife-throwing skills," Gale offered._

 _He was holding out the squirrels that I had tried to take. "Sure thing, Gale Hawthorne," I said, and the two of us set off together back towards the fence. "Sorry about the scratches."_

 _"That's alright. You're fast."_

 _"Thanks. Sorry about the squirrels, too."_

 _"You can have one. If you really need it."_

 _"Maybe next time. I've never been in the Hob before without Mr. Everdeen."_

 _"It's not that bad."_

 _"You know, you should meet my friend one day. Katniss. She's a few years younger than me, but I think that you'd like her," I said as we walked through town, just for the sake of conversation._

 _"Yeah? Maybe one day. I've still gotta decide if I like you," Gale said. It was enough to make me laugh as we headed off towards the Hob._

Despite that rather friendly meeting, it had taken us a long time to actually fall into the pattern that I had lately become so used to. It took us a long time for us to even become real friends, to stop haggling over every trade and begin helping each other out. It was even harder when I had introduced him and Katniss. Adding a third person to our party only made Gale think that he would have to split the trades even more. Which we did, but because of the size of his family, we had always given him the most.

I remembered telling Katniss about Gale for the first time. Explaining the strange, already adult looking, boy that I had met in the woods. She had warned me not to talk to him and to try and avoid him in the future. But I had ignored her. Mostly because Gale was good with snares and I wanted to learn them. That was how we first got to trust each other. Making snares in silence. Nothing more. But we soon learned that we weren't going to attack each other. We were just watching each other.

For a long time we didn't even talk when we would meet in the woods once a week. There was nothing that we had to say each other. He would show me how to make the snares, I would show him which plants were edible, and we would share the hunting knowledge that we knew with each other. After a while, we finally started chatting about things like the weather and people in town. Then we started talking about schoolwork. Eventually even about the Games.

Not long after that we had started sitting together at school. The first few times were awkward. Especially since we had nothing to keep our hands occupied once we finished eating. We would just sit in silence, being unable to work on snares. But soon enough we had things to talk about. Sometimes even laugh about. Some people even thought that we were together. It usually resulted in us very quickly snapping that we were only friends and then awkwardly telling each other that we weren't even that much.

To this day I remembered the moment that we had really become friends. A strange way for kids to become friends. When Katniss had first met Gale she had whispered her name so lowly that he had thought that she had said Catnip. That was always the joke. But it was a very tense joke and we were still always fighting and snapping at each other. Gale had always been a little more teasing than we were. Katniss and I were more serious, and that was an area of contention at first.

It had become his official nickname for her when this crazy lynx started following her around the woods looking for handouts. The thing was rather cute and it was actually fun to play with it. It reminded me of a cat. We used to tell Katniss that the lynx was the only person or animal that had ever really liked her since she was so bitter about everything else. It was enough to make all of us laugh. Really laugh with each other. The kind of laugh that you only let out when you really trusted the person.

From that day on we had been the best of friends. We were only truly happy when we were all together and out in the woods. It was home. We were each other's homes. Katniss and I had an easier time joking around with each other and we started really trusting Gale. Unfortunately we finally had to kill the lynx because he scared off game. It wasn't a fun moment and we almost regretted it because he wasn't bad company. But we got a decent price for his pelt and split the profit with Gale.

It used to be that the only time that we really smiled - Katniss and I - was when we were out in the woods with Gale and each other. It was the one place that we had always felt free. The only place that I could really be free to be myself. Maybe that was why things had always been so strange with Cato. It had taken him a very short period of time to worm his way into my heart and make me really, genuinely, smile; something that had taken Gale months and even years.

 _The other memory was a little nicer. We had been having the best time of our lives. I had been having the best time of my life. It was my eighteenth birthday party. It hadn't been the happiest of days. The Victor had just been crowned of the Games after smashing in another boy's head with a rock. But there were reasons that I had for it to actually be a very happy day. Because that coming Reaping would be the last time that I would ever have to fear for myself in the Games. The family curse would end with me._

 _We were all standing together. Greasy Sae and Madge had already left to get back to their own homes. Ms. Everdeen was cleaning up the dishes. I left Katniss's side, who had been harassing me to wake up early the next day to go hunting. Instead I walked over to where Prim was waiting for me to come give her another dance. But I was surprised by Gale. He walked up in between us and wrapped an arm over my shoulder. The warmth and comfort was immediate. I smiled and sank into his familiar form._

 _"Good birthday?" Gale asked._

 _"It'll be better next year," I said truthfully._

 _"Come with me," Gale said._

 _"But there's this mess... Someone should stay and help them clean up," I said, pointing to all of the dishes._

 _"We've got it, honey," Ms. Everdeen said._

 _"It's your birthday, Aspen. Get out of here. We'll see you tomorrow. On my birthday you can be the one that cleans up the mess," Katniss teased, throwing a wet rag at me._

 _I laughed and batted it away. "Deal," I said._

 _"Wanna help me take care of Lady tomorrow?" Prim asked._

 _"I would love that, bug. Goodnight, guys! Thanks for the wonderful party!" I shouted over my shoulder._

 _Gale was slowly yanking me with him out of the house. I was smart enough to know that he wanted me to do something that was reasonably time-sensitive. So I nodded and walked with him through the town. Gale slung an arm over my shoulder as we sank into the warm air. The two of us headed towards the woods and I raised a brow. It wasn't often that we went into the woods at night - as it got dangerous at night - unless we were doing one of our two or three-day-long hunts._

 _On Gale's insistence, I said nothing as we headed deeper into the woods. We went straight to our little hill. The one that Katniss, Gale, and I would sit on every single morning and afternoon. But there was one difference this time. A blanket was laid out. Not one of our moth-eaten and too-small ones. This one was wool and large and likely very expensive. Gale must have saved up for it for a long time. There was also a loaf of bread, some cheese, and a few cups of berries, along with two brewing mugs of tea._

 _A little dinner feast for my birthday. I smiled softly as the two of us sat down and chatted softly away with each other, eating the food, drinking the tea, and exchanging idle chitchat. After a while I laid back on the blanket, my head tucked on Gale's arm, and stared up at the stars, enjoying the peace and quiet of the world. The night was beautiful. Somewhere in the Capitol, a boy was recovering from the Hunger Games, but right now I was having the most peaceful night that I ever would, staring up at the starry sky._

 _"It's beautiful out," I whispered, unwilling to shatter the silence._

 _"I don't know. There are nicer sights," Gale said._

 _Glancing over, I saw that he was giving me a look. A look that made something tingle in my stomach. Something that I didn't like. Was I going to be sick from all of the food? "Oh, shut up," I snapped, shoving him to look away._

 _Almost immediately the feeling from before went away as we both laughed. A moment later I curled up against Gale's side. "I'm serious," Gale said._

 _"Thanks for everything. My birthday was perfect," I said honestly._

 _"Anything for you," Gale said._

 _He leaned over and gave me a little peck on the cheek. That same little flutter returned and I batted it down. It had to be from the food. "Just one more year," I said breathlessly._

 _"One more year and we'll never have to worry about this again. But you're safe. I promise that I'll always keep you safe. You and Katniss and Prim. All of you," Gale said determinedly._

 _"I know that."_

 _"I love you, Aspen."_

 _"I love you too, Gale. Always."_

Now I saw it. Looking back on that night, I understood the look in his eyes when he had turned over to me. It was the same look that Cato had given me a number of times. The same look that he had given me - albeit with a little more desperation - just a few minutes ago. But I had never noticed it from Gale. Now I noticed it. Now I saw the many times that he had given me that look. I wondered what moment it had been that he had discovered his feelings for me. I supposed that I would never get to know.

If I only I could have seen where I would eventually wind up. That conversation, all of those conversations that we had gone through about the Games and how I was safe and how Gale had always protected me... Those were useless. He had never known that I was going to go into the Hunger Games. I would win, but I would win it with Cato. And that would change things between us forever. It was too bad that things had changed, but it wasn't something that I could go back and change.

There were happier things that I could be thinking about, though. The things that I really wanted to think about. The fact that at least we had been friends for as long as we had. Before things had changed between the two of us. The way that we had started out actually made me smile. The sweet memories. It was almost sweet, the way that the two of us had bonded when we were kids. Not that we had really bonded. We hadn't really liked each other. But we had noticed that we made an effective team.

But that was the way that friendships worked when you were young. You didn't need the trust, there were no underlying motives, and there was no future to think about. We had just been two lonely kids who wanted someone to talk to. My how far the two of us had come in a matter of just a decade. Things were so different. We were so different. I couldn't even remember the last time that Gale and I had had a carefree night together, talking and laughing about nothing. All I knew was that it had been far too long.

The more that I thought about it, the sadder that I became. Mostly because I would never get to see Gale again. I hadn't had one of those nights in a long time and I wouldn't have one of those nights ever again. So I focused on moving around with Johanna. I had better things to be thinking about. I passed her my bow as I hopped over some rather large rocks before landing on the other side and taking it back from her, the two of us continuing on our trek so we could hurry up.

"I am sorry that you ended up back here," I told Johanna, before thinking better of it.

If I had surprised her, she didn't show it. She didn't even look back at me. "They would have done it with or without you. You just helped it along," she said blankly.

"Still... No one deserves to end up like this," I said.

"You trying to sweet talk me so that I'll take it easy on you when the time comes that we're ready to fight?" Johanna snorted.

"What?" I asked, surprised.

"Come on, brainless, we're not going to be camp buddies forever," Johanna said, surprising me. "Sooner or later we're going to have to fight. If we make this thing work we're going to be stuck with just us. We can't sit around and sing campfire songs forever. We'll have to fight. And we all know who the two of you are fighting for."

"Can you blame us?" I asked.

That time Johanna did turn back. But it was just for a second. "Actually, I do blame you," Johanna sneered.

"Like I meant for this to happen," I snapped back.

Now Johanna really wasn't happy. She whipped back to me. "And that's the thing that you don't get. Sure. You didn't mean to make this happen. I get that. I really do. But your actions affected everyone else here. We're all back here because you couldn't play by the rules. I know that the Capitol is mean and they made us do all of this... Whatever. When it comes down to it, you're the reason we're all back here. You don't have a damn person to blame other than yourself," Johanna sneered.

And that was the worst part. Because all of the blame could be put on one person. Me. "I know that," I growled.

Johanna didn't advance on me but I knew that she was still a threat. "And that's why I don't care if you are knocked up. When the time comes that it's between you and me, I'll rip your throat out," she sneered.

"What's faster? An arrow or an axe?" I shot back.

Johanna scoffed gently. "I guess we'll find out," she said.

That was the last thing that she said to me. And I had no desire to speak to her again. Mostly because I knew that she had a point. It was my fault that I was back here because I couldn't play by their rules. I had even thought about it that day. How foolishly I had played right into their trap. How I wouldn't be a piece in their games. How I wouldn't let them own me. I had done it without thinking about how it would affect anyone else. And that was why I hated Johanna. Because she was right.

"I'll take the coil for a while," I finally said.

We had to be getting close to getting to the beach. I knew that we were. We had already been walking for over half an hour. And it only took about an hour to get to the edge of the arena. It was a small one this year. Plus it was harder work laying out the wire and ensuring that it didn't get caught up in anything than guarding. As much as I didn't like her, I did know about fairness, and she had had a long turn. Plus I needed to do something that would keep me from thinking.

"Here," Johanna said, passing me the coil.

Both of our hands were still on the metal cylinder when there was a slight vibration. My hands suddenly froze. Animal? Enemy? Nothing at all? Johanna released the coil and pulled out her axe as I grabbed onto the coil fully. Just in case... We were just past the rocks. Had it gotten caught up? Were we overreacting? I gave a little tug on the wire as Johanna stopped, poised to throw in a moments notice. The wire didn't move. I gave it another little tug.

"There's something..." I trailed off.

The moment that I made to move and untangle the wire was the same moment that everything went to shit. Suddenly the thin golden wire from above sprang down at us, bunching in tangled loops and curling around our wrists. Then the severed end snaked up to our feet. It only took a second to register the rapid turn of events. Johanna and I looked at each other, but neither of us had to say it. Someone not far above us had cut the wire. And they would be on us at any moment. Enobaria, more than likely.

"Run," I whispered.

"Wait," Johanna warned.

But I knew what was about to happen and I wasn't letting Enobaria get away this time. My hand freed itself from the wire and I dropped it to the ground. My fingers had just closed on the feathers of an arrow when the metal cylinder smashed into the side of my head. The next thing I knew, I was lying on my back in the vines with a terrible pain in my left temple. Something was wrong with my eyes. My vision blurred in and out of focus as I strained to make the two moons floating up in the sky into one.

The pain was radiating through my temple. I had just dropped the coil. How had it gotten so close to my head in a matter of seconds? Either Enobaria or Chaff were up there. It wouldn't have been any of my alliance members. I genuinely believed that. So it meant that it was Johanna that had just hit me. More than likely attempting to kill me. I shouldn't have said anything to her earlier. She had taken her opportunity to kill me and eliminate me as a threat before the real fighting started.

It was suddenly very hard to breathe, and I realized that Johanna was sitting on my chest, pinning me at the shoulders with her knees. Just the way that Clove had done last year. There was a stab in my left forearm. My mouth dropped open in a pained grunt and Johanna leaned down to hush me. She was glancing up just enough to see something that was happening in the background. I could hear something moving. Maybe... Maybe I was hallucinating something happening.

All I knew right now was that I had to get away. I tried to jerk away but I was still too incapacitated from the impact. It was even worse than trying to headbutt Clove last year. Johanna was digging something, I guessed the point of her knife, straight down into my flesh, and was twisting it around. There was an excruciating ripping sensation and warmth ran down my wrist, filling my palm. Blood. My mouth dropped open in another scream, but instead it was words that came out.

"Get off of me..." I mumbled.

My words sounded even worse than after the Quarter Quell had been announced and I was trying to announce to everyone that I was fine when I returned, even though I was drunk off of my ass. But right now I was clear. Sort of. I just knew that I had to move. I had to get away from her. I had to kill her. Because she would be going after Cato next. Johanna swiped down my arm, coated half my face with my blood, wrung her hands around my neck to coat that in blood, too, before backing away.

"Get the hell off of me!" I shouted drunkenly.

"Stay down!" Johanna hissed.

Cato... Cato had given me the knife. I reached down to my boot where the knife was tucked in and ripped it out. Just like with Clove last year, I had to make it count. I reared up with the knife and swept straight out at Johanna. But it was like I was drunk again. The world was practically upside-down as I tried to manage myself. Johanna was barely able to duck out of the way but I did scrape across her jawline. I would have laughed if I could. Cato was right. I couldn't believe that he was right.

"Bitch! I'm trying to help you. Stay here!" Johanna snarled.

All over again I wanted to laugh. But it felt like my entire body. The world was spinning and my hair was covering half of my vision. But it wasn't enough. I could still see her sitting over me, looking up, maybe trying to get someone to come join her to finish me off. But her trying to help me? Yeah, right. The only thing that Johanna was going to do was help me over a cliff. She had just tried to kill me, just as I had essentially warned her to try earlier. _Idiot, Aspen_...

As suddenly as it had all started, her weight left my body, which I was grateful for, since I really couldn't breathe that well with her on me. Not after the impact practically knocked me out. Was I alone again? It felt like it. But I couldn't tell. I couldn't hear anyone anymore... I must have been alone. _Stay down?_ What? What was happening? My eyes tried to shut, blocking out the inconsistent world, as I tried to make sense of my situation. All I could think of was Johanna shoving Wiress to the beach.

"Just stay down, will you?" she had said.

But she didn't attack Wiress. Not like this. She had shoved Wiress and been a little rough with her, but she hadn't tried to murder her. At least she hadn't really killed me. Not yet. I wasn't going to die. She hadn't finished me off and now I was going to go back and slaughter her. I wasn't Wiress, anyways. I wasn't Nuts. Not really. As much as people might have thought that I was. _Just stay down, will you?_ continuously echoed around inside my brain. What sense did that make? Thinking that I would listen to her and just let myself die here?

All of a sudden there were footsteps coming. Two pairs. Heavy, not trying to conceal their whereabouts. That was when I managed to pry my eyes open. Johanna was still standing above me. She grunted and threw an axe at the figures, immediately darting off. Then there was Chaff's voice. They had gotten on the same team. Their footsteps came closer and I immediately closed my eyes. Johanna might have accidentally done me a favor. If they thought that I was going to die, they would leave me alone.

"She's good as dead! Come on, Enobaria!" Chaff shouted.

Chaff? Was it actually Chaff or was I imagining things? I listened for another moment. Yes, it was Chaff. Of course Chaff was in an alliance with Enobaria. Of course he was. That much didn't surprise me. They were the only two left outside of our own alliance, as we had killed the rest of the Careers already. They knew that the only chance that they stood was to team up and take out a few members of our alliance before turning on each other, likely leaving Enobaria as the sole Victor.

Then there was the sound of two sets of feet moving into the night. _Am I? As good as dead?_ I couldn't figure it out. I drifted in and out of consciousness looking for an answer. Was it just a few minutes that I was laying here? Was I as good as dead? Maybe. The blood was pouring out of my arm. _This vein right here. If I cut it I'll bleed out in a minute_. Was that what Johanna was trying to do? Do to me what Cato had threatened last year? I was in no position to make an argument to the contrary. In fact, rational thinking was a struggle right now.

This much I knew. Johanna attacked me. Smashed that cylinder into my head. Cut my arm, probably doing irreparable damage to veins and arteries, and then Chaff and Enobaria showed up before she had time to finish me off. The alliance was over. Finnick and Johanna must have had an agreement to turn on us tonight. Haymitch had been getting suspicious. That was why he was talking to Beetee. I knew that we should have left this morning. I didn't know where Beetee stood. But I was fair game, and so was Cato.

Cato! My eyes flew open in panic. I would manage to get myself to my feet and get to wherever he was. He hadn't left yet. I could still hear the insects clicking. We were still in the eleven o'clock hour. That was how I knew where he was right now. Cato was waiting up by the tree, unsuspecting and off guard. No cannons had gone off yet so he would figure that we were still marching down to the beach. Maybe Finnick had even killed him already. Friend or not, I would end his life if he hurt Cato.

"No," I whispered.

That wire was cut from a short distance away by Enobaria and Chaff. Finnick and Beetee and Haymitch and Cato - they couldn't know what was going on down here. There were no cameras. They would have no idea what had just happened. Sponsors couldn't give them away what was happening with me. Effie couldn't tell them. The only way that they would know would be to come and check on me. And they wouldn't do that, because Beetee needed his guards.

They could only be wondering what had happened, why the wire had gone slack or maybe even sprung back to the tree. That was what I could hope for, so that they would know that something was wrong. That, in itself, couldn't be a signal to kill, could it? Surely this was just Johanna deciding that the time had come to break with us. Kill me. Escape from Enobaria and Chaff, maybe taking one of them out with me. Then bring Finnick into the fight as soon as possible. I didn't know. I didn't know.

I only knew that I must get back to Cato and keep him alive. My final act of defiance. Keep Cato alive. No one else. Not even me. It took every ounce of will that I had to push up into a sitting position and drag myself up the side of a tree to my feet. My hair was in waves over my face and my face itself was damp with sweat. There were leaves and twigs all over my from the heavy impact to the ground. Blood was slicking over parts of my body. There was a large wound on my forearm.

It was lucky that I had something to hold on to because the jungle was tilting back and forth. It reminded me of the way that I had felt after blowing up the Career supplies. Not quite as extreme, but definitely close. Without any warning, I leaned forward and vomited up the seafood feast, heaving until there couldn't possibly be an oyster left in my body. I never had liked seafood all that much anyways... For a long time I coughed up anything that could possibly remain. Water and the meal from the Sponsors.

Trembling and slick with sweat, I assessed my physical condition. Sponsors, more food, everything else would be a problem later. Right now I had to figure out what was wrong with me. As I lifted up my damaged arm, blood sprayed me in the face and the world made another alarming shift. Johanna definitely picked the vein that was... connected to my heart? Was that what Cato had told me? I couldn't remember. I squeezed my eyes shut and clung to the tree until things steadied a little bit.

Then I took a few careful steps towards a neighboring tree, pulled off some moss, and without examining the wound further, not wanting to see what it looked like, tightly bandaged my arm. Better. Definitely better to stem the blood flow. Then I allowed my hand to tentatively touch my head wound. There was a huge lump but not too much blood. Obviously I had gotten some internal damage, but I didn't seem in danger of bleeding to death. At least not through my head.

There was probably a concussion. Nothing that couldn't be fixed with a little time. I dried my hands on moss and got a shaky grip on my bow with my damaged left arm. Bow... Why the hell didn't Johanna take the bow? My best weapon? The one that, even injured, I would be able to use? Leave me defenseless? That was stupid. Or maybe Chaff and Enobaria had startled her and she'd forgotten. Slowly I secured the notch of an arrow to the string and forced my feet move up the slope.

Cato. My dying wish. My promise. To keep him alive. My heart lifted a bit when I realized that he must have still been alive because no cannon had fired. Maybe Johanna was acting alone, knowing Finnick would side with her once her intentions were clear. Although it was hard to guess what went on between those two. I thought of how he looked to her for confirmation before he had agree to help set Beetee's trap. There was a much deeper alliance based on years of friendship and who knew what else.

Therefore, if Johanna had turned on me, I should no longer trust Finnick. As much as it broke my heart. I reached that conclusion only seconds before I heard someone running down the slope toward me. Neither Cato nor Beetee could move at that pace. I ducked behind a curtain of vines, concealing myself just in time. Finnick flew by me, his skin shadowy with medicine, leaping through the undergrowth like a deer. He soon reached the sight of my attack and must have seen the blood.

"Johanna! Aspen!" Finnick called.

He looked desperate to find us. Desperate to find her at least. He was probably only calling my name to try and get me to come out so that he could betray me. _My friend, Finnick_... I had been planning to do the same thing to him, so I supposed that I couldn't be too upset. Only that he had gotten to me first. I stayed put until he went in the direction Johanna and Enobaria and Chaff took. I moved as quickly as I could without sending the world into a whirl. My head throbbed with the rapid beat of my heart.

The insects, possibly excited by the smell of blood, had increased their clicking until it was a continuous roar in my ears. No, wait. Maybe my ears were actually ringing from the hit. Just like with the explosions last year. Until the insects shut up, it would be impossible to tell. But when the insects go silent, the lightning would start. I had to move faster. I had to get to Cato. A loud shrieking noise echoed through the arena seconds later. A cannon? It sounded strange for a moment before I heard it.

And the sound pulled me up short. My reconstructed ear echoed loudly in my head. _Press the button._ It wasn't the cannon like I had originally thought. No one was dead. Not yet. It would only be another few minutes. I knew that with everyone running around armed and scared right now, it could have been anybody. But whoever it was, I believed that the death would trigger a kind of free-for-all out here in the night. People would kill first and wonder about their motives later.

But that voice. The voice in my head. Was I hallucinating from the impact? No. I couldn't have been. That would have been something like what happened after the Tracker Jackers had gotten to me last year. No. It wasn't a hallucination. Something was actually speaking in my ear. In the Capitol hearing aid. The button. The button that Seneca Crane had given me. Slowly I worked my arm up to the band that it was hidden in. What was I supposed to do? Press it or wait? The voice had said to press it...

Could I trust it? Who was speaking to me through the hearing aid? Was it a trick on Snow's part? I tried to place the voice but I couldn't... Not right now. Suddenly I remembered something that Seneca had said. _Stay alive until the third night. There will be a show that you don't want to miss._ Was this already a plan? Did he know? He knew! Just like Plutarch with the layout of the arena, Seneca knew about them planning to attack me. But he had told me to trust people. Trust who?

At least now I knew one thing. I could trust Seneca Crane. Seneca Crane was actually on my side for once. He had given me the warning, I had just been too stupid to think about it. Not yet, but when the time came I would activate the button. I would know when the time came. This was all going to work out. I just had to get back to Cato. I just had to get to him and let the others slaughter each other. The Games were almost over. I knew that they were.

So I forced my legs into a run. Something snagged my feet and I sprawled out on the ground. _That's embarrassing_. I felt it wrapping around me, entwining me in sharp fibers. A net! Panic settled in my chest. That must have been one of Finnick's fancy nets, positioned to trap me, and he must have still been nearby, trident in hand. I flailed around for a moment, only working the web more tightly around me, and then I caught a glimpse of it in the moonlight.

Confused, I lifted my arm and saw that it was entangled in shimmering golden threads. It wasn't one of Finnick's nets at all, but Beetee's wire. How had it gotten like this? From when Chaff or Enobaria cut it? I carefully rose to my feet and found that I was in a patch of the stuff that caught on a trunk on its way back to the lightning tree. Slowly I disengaged myself from the wire, stepped out of its reach, and continued uphill. No enemies yet. But they were somewhere.

On the good side, I was on the right path and had not been so disoriented by the head injury as to lose my sense of direction. On the bad side, the wire had reminded me of the oncoming lightning storm. I could still hear the insects, but were they starting to fade? Or was the ringing going down from the impact? I wished that I could remember last year a little more. Had I been able to hear at all afterwards? How long? I kept the loops of wire a few feet to my left as a guide as I ran.

But I was taking great care not to touch them. If those insects were fading and the first bolt was about to strike the tree, then all its power would come surging down that wire and anyone in contact with it would die. And I needed to save Cato still. The tree swam into view, its trunk festooned with gold. I slowed down, trying to move with some stealth, but I was really just lucky to be upright. I looked for a sign of the others. No one. No one was there.

"Cato? Cato?" I called out softly.

Where the hell was he? Was one of the cannons possibly for him? Had it even been a cannon? No. It couldn't have been a cannon. Absolutely not. He was still alive. He had to be. Was there a chance that Enobaria and Chaff had come here and scared the others off? Or had they started the fight up here first? A soft moan answered me and I whipped around to find a figure lying higher up on the ground. _Please don't be dead_. But it wasn't Cato.

"Beetee!" I exclaimed.

Some part of me trusted that he hadn't known about this. So I hurried and knelt down beside him. The moan must have been involuntary. He was not conscious, although I could see no wound except a gash below the crook of his elbow. It was the same place that Johanna sliced open my arm. What? Maybe they were trying to get the two of us to bleed out. A slow and painful death. I grabbed a nearby handful of moss and clumsily wrapped it while I tried to rouse him.

"Beetee! Beetee, what's going on! Who cut you? Beetee!"

But I received no real answer. I shook him in the way that you should never shake an injured person, but I didn't know what else to do. He moaned again and briefly raised a hand to ward me off. From what? What was happening? That was when I noticed that he was holding a knife, one Cato was carrying earlier, I thought, which was wrapped loosely in wire. Perplexed, I stood and lifted the wire, confirming that it was attached back at the tree.

It took me a moment to remember the second, much shorter strand that Beetee wound around a branch and left on the ground before he even began his design on the tree. I had thought that it had some electrical significance, had been set aside to be used later. But it never was, because there was probably a good twenty, twenty-five yards here. I squinted hard up the hill and realized we were only a few paces from the force field. There was the telltale square, high up and to my right, just as it was this morning.

What did Beetee do? Did he actually try to drive the knife into the force field the way that Cato had run into it by accident? And what was the deal with the wire? Was this his backup plan? If electrifying the water failed, did he mean to send the lightning bolt's energy into the force field? What would that do, anyway? Nothing? A great deal? Fry us all? Kill literally every last person in the arena and give them no Victor, as I had thought to do last year? The force field must have been mostly energy, too, I guessed.

The one in the Training Center was invisible. This one seemed to somehow mirror the jungle. But I had seen it falter when Cato's sword struck it and when my arrows hit earlier in the Games. The real world laid right behind it. The arena were just giant domes in the middle of nowhere. My ears were not ringing. It was the insects after all. I knew that now because they were dying out quickly and I heard nothing but the jungle sounds. Beetee was useless. I couldn't rouse him. I couldn't save him.

The lightning would strike here in minutes. I didn't have long. But I had to do something, since I couldn't find Cato. I didn't know what he was trying to do with the knife and the wire and he was incapable of explaining himself. The moss bandage on my arm was soaked with blood and there was no use fooling myself. I was so light-headed that I would black out in a matter of minutes. I couldn't figure it out anyways. My thoughts were so muddled. I had to get away from this tree and -

"Aspen!"

He was alive. The cannon wasn't for Cato, if it even had been a cannon. He was out there somewhere. They hadn't killed him, although it was very likely that they had tried. What was he doing all the way over there? I heard his voice even though he was a far distance away. But what was he doing? Why was he all the way over on the other side of the arena? Getting away from the lightning storm? Cato must have figured out that everyone was hunting us by now.

"Aspen!"

His voice was getting more desperate. Did he think that the cannon was for me? Maybe. Actually he likely did think that the cannon was for me, since there had only been one other person with me and she wasn't my biggest fan. I couldn't protect him from all the way on this side of the arena. I couldn't move fast or far enough and my shooting abilities were questionable at best right now. So I did the one thing that I could to draw the attackers away from him and over to me.

"Cato!" I screamed out. "Cato! I'm here! Cato!"

That had to work. As loud as I could. My voice raw and hurting. Painful from the volume. Screaming bloody murder, just like that night on the train when I had been woken up in the middle of the night. When I couldn't wake up from the pills. He would hear me and know that I was alive. And, yes, I would draw my enemies in, any in my vicinity, away from Cato and over to me and the lightning tree that would soon be a weapon in and of itself. I could take out myself and my enemies all at once.

"I'm here! I'm here!"

He wouldn't make it. Not with that leg from the poison fog in the night. He wasn't a hunter. He didn't know how to manage himself in rocky and weak territory like the one that we were in right now. He could try but he wouldn't make it. He was likely in the seven o'clock sector or so. He might be able to make it to the ten o'clock sector if he was lucky. But he couldn't be here in time. Not with the lightning tree. He couldn't get too close. He would never make it in time.

"Cato!"

It was working. I could hear them coming. Two of them. Crashing through the jungle. My knees started to give out from the blood loss and I sank down next to Beetee, resting my weight on my heels. My bow and arrow lifted into position. I forced myself to straighten up and get to work. If I could take them out, would Cato survive the rest? Enobaria and Finnick reached the lightning tree. They couldn't see me, sitting above them on the slope, my skin camouflaged in ointment.

"Aspen! Where are you?" Finnick shouted.

Enobaria was faster. I would take her out first. So I homed in on Enobaria's neck. Payback for betraying us earlier. Although it appeared that Finnick was now allied with her. With any luck, when I killed her, Finnick would duck behind the tree for cover just as the lightning bolt struck. And it would be any second now. There was only a faint insect click here and there. I could kill them now. I could kill them both. Finally the cannon came.

"Aspen!" Cato's voice howled for me.

"What did you do?" Finnick growled at Enobaria.

"What I was supposed to," she answered smugly.

"You weren't supposed to attack her!"

"This is honestly what you want?"

"It's what we agreed on!"

Shocking me, almost making me scream and give away my position, Finnick swung out his trident and whacked Enobaria in the stomach. It sliced straight through her abdomen and she dropped to the ground, screaming in pain. My arrow lowered so that I could still shoot her if need be. But what just happened? They were allied. At some point they were genuinely allied. Then she betrayed us. She wasn't supposed to attack me. They wanted something. What did they want?

What the hell was happening? Finnick didn't bother finishing her off. Maybe to let her suffer. Could Finnick have actually been on my side here? I couldn't figure it out. Nothing was making sense and the blood loss wasn't helping. My grip on my bow and arrow wavered. What was I supposed to do? Kill Finnick? Who had just fatally wounded Enobaria for me. For me... Maybe. Or was he still just trying to win the Games? Too much. It was too much for me. Cato's voice rang out again, desperately calling for me.

But this time I didn't answer. Beetee still breathed faintly beside me. He and I would soon die. Finnick and Enobaria would die. Cato was alive. One real cannon - or maybe two - had sounded. Haymitch, Johanna, or Chaff. One of two of them were already dead. That would leave Cato with only one or two more Tributes to kill. And that was the very best I could do. One or two enemies left. Enemy. Enemy. The word was tugging at a recent memory. Pulling it into the present. The look on Haymitch's face.

 _"Aspen, when you're in the arena..."_

The look on his face. The scowl, the misgiving. The way that he had paused. The way that he had been looking at me like I had already managed to disappoint him. The way that maybe I was going to disappoint him right now. Because things were finally starting to fall into place.

 _"What?"_

Even now I could hear my own voice tighten as I bristled at some unspoken accusation. Something that I was sure I was about to get yelled at for. Something that I couldn't control. The same tone in his voice earlier. Had he known that something was going to happen to me? He had sounded so concerned that Cato and I were going our separate ways. I had thought that it was just acting as the fatherly role, but had it been something more?

" _You just remember who the enemy is,_ " Haymitch said. " _That's all._ "

They were Haymitch's last real words of advice to me. The last words that he had given to me in the last few moments that we had been alone. Suddenly his words didn't make much sense. I had known that it was Snow and the Capitol. That was always easy. I had always known the answer. Why would I have needed reminding? I had always known who the enemy was. Who starved and tortured and killed us in the arena. Who would soon kill everyone I loved for my actions for the past year.

My bow dropped as his meaning registered. Yes, I knew who the enemy was. And it was not Enobaria. I finally saw Beetee's knife with clear eyes. My shaking hands slid the wire from the hilt, wound it around the arrow just above the feathers, and secured it with a knot that I picked up in training. I rose, turning to the force field, fully revealing myself but no longer caring. Only caring about where I should direct my tip, where Beetee would have driven the knife if he had been able to choose.

For a moment my bow turned to Finnick. He finally saw me. He placed his hands out to the side, probably realizing that I had seen the entire exchange between himself and Enobaria. He dropped his trident just a second later. He was staring straight at me as I debated on shooting him for just a moment. But Finnick... my friend Finnick... he wasn't the enemy. And I was running out of time.

"Aspen. Remember who the real enemy is," Finnick called.

Yes. Finnick Odair was many things. But he was not the real enemy. No matter what had just happened. The wind suddenly picked up slightly, blowing my hair in front of my face. My first indication that the lightning storm was about to come. The Capitol people, entranced, were about to get quite the show. _There will be a show you don't want to miss. Very good, Seneca. You're right. It will be a show_. My bow tilted up at the wavering square, the flaw, the... what did he call it that day? The chink in the armor.

As much pain as he had caused me, Seneca Crane was not my enemy. Briefly reaching back to my arm, relaxing my grip on the bow, calming Finnick, I pressed down on the golden button that was hidden in my sleeve. There weren't many people that I trusted, but I was as good as dead already. What would it hurt? So I activated whatever the button was for and rearranged my grip on the bow, aiming it straight back at the square. Then came the first crack of thunder.

Finnick and I looked straight up. I saw the clouds forming in a circular motion, almost like a tornado was coming. But I had seen it happen four times since setting foot in the arena. Now I knew. The arena dome was winding up to send down the blast. The lightning in the sky was lighting up the individual tiles that formed the dome as the arena began making a loud whirring noise, ready to send down the blast. The chink in the armor.

"Aspen, get away from that tree!" Finnick called, realizing just how close we were to the strike.

It was only seconds away from coming down and frying us both. Everything faded. All of the numbness from the impact earlier. There was no pain. There was no fogginess in my brain. The blood loss was probably extreme, but I didn't feel it. Because it didn't matter. I knew who the enemy was. And this was my last way of showing them who they were. And who I was. Finnick started to make a mad dash for me, likely to pull me away from the tree.

"Aspen, get away from that tree!" he shouted.

One last act of desperation. And my final act of rebellion. What was it that I had told Snow last year? _If you want a show, I can damn well promise you one. But don't say that I didn't warn you that you won't like it. I hope you enjoy, Snow._ So I let the arrow fly. It shot straight up and pulled the thread of gold behind it. My mouth dropped open in a scream. My hair stood on end as the lightning struck the tree. A flash of white ran up the wire, and for just a moment, the dome burst into a dazzling blue light.

Immediately I was thrown backward to the ground, body useless, paralyzed, eyes frozen wide, as feathery bits of matter rained down on me. The blast didn't kill me. But it clearly did some real damage. As the arrow hit the top of the dome there was a flash of red, the sky flickered, and then a ring of red went across the top of the dome. It was deadened. I couldn't reach Cato. I couldn't even reach my pearl. My eyes strained to capture one last image of beauty to take with me as I died.

Right before the explosions began, I found a star. A star just like the one that I found on the night that Gale took me out to the woods and we watched them all night long. It looked like the exact same one that I had seen that night. And that was when I realized that it wasn't just a star from the virtual sky that the Gamemakers created in the arena. I had seen the arena dome go out just moments beforehand. The light from the night sky shone down on me as I blinked and stared up at it.

It was a star from the actual night sky. The things crashing down around me weren't just trees and branches from the blast. They were chunks of the dome that stretched over us. It all registered just as a large panel from the sky collapsed mere inches from me, blasting the right side of my body with flames and showering me with more dirt, the stray pieces of metal slicing into my skin. But I still couldn't move. So I just watched, paralyzed with fear and glee, with the knowledge that I had destroyed the arena.

In The Capitol...

The Capitol was in utter disarray. What the hell was happening? That was the question that everyone was asking right now. They were all wondering what was happening. What they were supposed to say or do. No one, not the people on the television, the Gamemakers, or the Peacekeepers knew what to do. People were running and scattering everywhere as Caesar Flickerman and Claudius Templesmith tried to calm the crowd, laughing hysterically, as they would have cried otherwise.

"We... We ask the viewers of Panem to keep calm during this time of confusion. We have lost visuals on the arena. We believe it to be a short-circuit of the system. We'll get the arena back online as soon as possible with updates on the conditions of the Tributes when we can," Caesar Flickerman said desperately, forcing a smile on his face.

"In the meantime, as our Gamemakers work diligently to get the arena back online, let's discuss the point that we're at now in the Games," Claudius Templesmith said, trying to get the night back on track.

"Yes! Yes. We are down to seven left in the running after the death of Chaff and -" Caesar stopped speaking as a warning came over his headset. "What's that? There are... Oh. Oh, no."

"What?" Claudius whispered to his co-anchor.

"They're sending in an evacuation to remove the remaining Tributes from the arena. The dome was destroyed. The power to the arena has failed," Caesar whispered back, knowing that everyone wanted to hear about what was happening.

"What do we do?" Claudius asked.

Off in the distance, Caesar could see a man mouthing to him; _show a highlight reel!_ "We're going to be showing a highlight reel from thus far in the Quarter Quell as we attempt to rectify the situation. Thank you for your patience, and enjoy!" Caesar cheered, trying not to sound too distraught.

They had known that there was a big problem from the moment that things had spiraled out of control in the arena. Things were bad everywhere. The Capitol citizens were screaming, desperate to know what was happening. The people in the Districts were desperate to know what had happened. No one knew the truth. Likely, even those in the arena, even Aspen Antaeus, didn't know what was happening. Things were no better in the Games Control Center.

It happened just moments before she let the arrow go. President Snow knew exactly what she was planning on doing, even if she herself didn't. The moment that the arrow hit the cameras went out. She had destroyed the communication system from inside the dome. President Snow stared at the screens, pressed a few buttons, but nothing happened. He was standing in his own chambers in the Games Control Center as he wondered if she had actually done it. What happened to his precious arena?

"It's not possible," President Snow muttered. He reached back for his remote and pressed a button. "Heavensbee!" No answer. "Plutarch Heavensbee!"

He was standing at his own podium as he had watched the Hunger Games to what he thought would be the end. And it was the end. Just not the ending that anyone had been expecting. He turned back and saw that the Gamemakers were doing anything that they could to stop the pandemonium. But the screens that they were using were flickering. And just a moment later they all went out. Darkened. Deadened. Lost. The arena was gone.

"He left, sir," one Gamemaker said.

"How long?" President Snow asked.

"About twenty minutes ago."

There was one other person that President Snow realized was gone. "And Seneca?" he asked.

"He left with him."

"And as for the arena?" President Snow asked.

"Sir, we've lost power," a female Gamemaker called.

The room was dark as the Gamemakers went to work. But there was nothing to be done. Not in the Games anyways. "Well played, Miss Antaeus. Well played, indeed," President Snow growled.

If she wanted a war, she would get one.

 **A/N:** Here is the first new chapter, now that both Revenge and Burn have been completely edited. I really do want to get Burn out of the way so that I can move forward with the events of Mockingjay. Thank you to everyone that has been reading the edits and my new readers and for the follows and favorites! **Please review!** Until next time -A

 **melliemoo:I'm so glad that you loved the chapter! And thank you for both of your reviews! That's one of my favorite parts of both the books and the movies. I love the in-depth conversations that the characters have and the planning that actually makes sense. I'm glad that you see that Aspen is growing as a character. Oh, and that chapter wasn't a re-released one. A new chapter was put in to cover some gaps in the story. I believe it's chapter six now if you want to go back and read it. I hope that you liked this chapter, and I'm sorry that it took so long to get out :)**

 **AnimeAffection: Thank you so much! This has always been one of my favorite stories, even though it takes me so long to update. Sorry about how long this took me to update but I really hope that you've enjoyed it :)**


	21. Chapter 21

There was once a time that I kept my head low. When I was younger, I used to scare Ms. Everdeen to death, the things that I would blurt out about District 12, about the people who ruled our country, Panem, from the far-off city called the Capitol. Eventually I understood this would only lead us to more trouble. So I learned to hold my tongue and to turn my features into an indifferent mask so that no one could ever read my thoughts.

Do my work quietly in school. Make only polite small talk in the public market. Discuss little more than trades in the Hob. Never speak unless spoken to, with the exception of the few people that mattered the most to me. Prim, Katniss, Gale, Ms. Everdeen, and the Hawthorne's. Even at home, where I was far less pleasant, I avoided discussing tricky topics. Like the Reaping, or food shortages, or the Hunger Games. Prim might begin to repeat my words and then where would we be?

But that was then. Things were much different now. In fact, just a few months ago I was talking about wanting to start an uprising in District 12. I had been telling everyone that I could about what was happening and what I wanted to happen. The Victors staged our own uprising just a few nights ago. Now I was desperate to discuss those topics. Now I was desperate to make noise. Which was exactly what I had just done. Made the most noise that anyone possibly could.

Done one of the most foolish things that I could have ever done. Don't something that would likely fall back on everyone in Panem. And me. Definitely me. When they caught me. When they managed to get to me. They were going to perform a very painful and very public execution. Fake baby be damned. Because I had just destroyed the force field of the most dangerous, most secure, and most violent prison in the world. And I had broadcasted it for four and a half million people to see.

What was happening right now, in District 12? I could barely focus, but I could think of back home. Home... The home that I would never see again. Although my body - if Snow decided not to hang my corpse up over the Justice Building to make a point - would return for its burial. There was a population of about eight thousand in District 12. Most of them would be out in the Square right now. But not my family. Not Katniss, Prim, Ms. Everdeen, or Gale.

There was a chance that they might have been out there before. They wouldn't need the food that people had offered them last year. We had enough money to get ourselves food. But they might have gone outside just to have the comfort of some other people, considering that they knew my plan. No. They would all be inside my house as we were down to the final eight. When they interviewed the families of the remaining Tributes. Although they had already done that.

And now we were down to the final seven. Or was it six? I couldn't count. I couldn't figure it out. I couldn't figure anything out. Nothing made sense. My head was pounding even worse than it had been when Johanna had hit me with the coil. There was something shining into my eyes, too. Making it hard to see. Could my family see me? Maybe they were out in the Square now, with the rest of District 12 helping to comfort them as I made a fools move. Were people comforting them?

Or were they trying to avoid my family because they were terrified of associating themselves with me. What was happening at home? The arena was still crashing down around me. The dome was collapsing in chunks as the world went up in flames around me. Did they think that I was dead? Were they claiming a technical failure? What would happen? Who was still alive? There were no cannons to alert me as to what was happening and I couldn't see the cameras. So they likely couldn't see me.

The entirety of District 12. District 2. The Capitol. Panem. Everyone would be in an uproar at what had just happened. I wanted so desperately to get up and move to check on what was happening. But I couldn't. I couldn't get to Cato. He just had to still be alive. Hopefully none of the pieces of the collapsing dome had hit him. Hopefully Katniss would be smart enough to get the family out of District 12. Into the woods. With Gale's. They wouldn't be safe after what I had just done.

Hopefully they weren't in the Town Square when I had blown up the arena. They would be punished first, thinking that they had been in on my plan. In some horrible way like the Jabberjay's. Or, if they were in the Town Square, hopefully they weren't in the center. The Square was quite large, but not enough to hold District Twelve's population of about eight thousand. Maybe they would be on the adjacent streets, where they could have watched the event on screens as it was televised live.

Was it still being televised now? I couldn't tell. Probably not. Not after what I had just done. I wouldn't have been very eventful anyways. Just the way that I was lying here, unable to move or breathe or do anything else. Barely even think. It was just like how I felt when Prim's name was pulled at the Reaping, how I felt when Cato kissed me at President Snow's party, how I felt during those first Interviews, how I felt when I killed my first human being - a fifteen-year-old girl.

Maybe she was laughing as she looked down on me. This was how I felt when I fell twenty feet down a ravine, how I felt when I was almost drowned, how I felt when I was thrown onto a pile of jagged rocks by a wolf muttation, how I felt when a firestorm nearly killed me, how I felt when I fell from twenty feet after being stung by Tracker Jackers, how I felt watching a twelve-year-old girl die in front of me. So many times I had been given this feeling before. But I still wasn't used to it. Maybe I never would be.

It was how I felt when I realized that the only way to beat the Capitol was to do something that would send my life into a downward spiral, that one action that would land me back in the arena. The arena that I had just destroyed. The arena that I couldn't even move in right now. My fingers wouldn't even move. Was I going to be unable to move for the rest of my life? It was like the electrical shock had done far more than just destroy the dome. It had almost paralyzed me. Maybe it had.

One time, when I was in a blind in a tree, waiting motionless for game to wander by, waiting for Katniss to come with me after school, waiting for Gale to come from babysitting his siblings, I dozed off and fell ten feet to the ground, landing on my back. It was as if the impact had knocked every wisp of air from my lungs, and I lay there struggling to inhale, to exhale, or to do anything. That was the first time that I had felt it. How little I had truly known of that completely helpless feeling.

Getting the wind knocked out of you. That was what they called it in reference to when it happened to the Tributes in the Hunger Games. I remembered Claudius Templesmith talking about it once. It was a kind of diaphragm spasm that occurred when sudden force was applied to the abdomen which put pressure on the solar plexus. It resulted in a temporary paralysis of the diaphragm that made it difficult to breathe. And, yes, I could attest to it. It was _very_ hard to breathe. It typically cleared spontaneously in a minute or two. Not this time.

What were they talking about right now? Certainly not about what I had just done. No. Certainly not. They would be feigning technical problems, saying that my wayward arrow, playing it off like I had shot it accidentally, had momentarily disabled the cameras. They would say that they would be back to normal in just a matter of minutes. Apologizing for what had happened. In the meantime talking about what a surprising Games these had been.

Then there came the question of what they were really thinking. What they wouldn't dare say in front of the cameras to the Capitol people who would be oh-so-concerned about what was happening. To the pregnant and distressed woman. Not to the Mockingjay who was the face of a rebellion. They didn't know what was really happening. Did the Gamemakers even? They must have. And I wanted to know what they couldn't tell the Capitol citizens and the rest of Panem.

That Aspen Antaeus - or maybe they were calling me Hadley - the Girl on Fire, the Capitol darling, had just destroyed the arena. This couldn't be fixed with press about how I was desperately trying to save my lover. No... This was a blatant act of rebellion. I had warned the Gamemakers that they should be afraid of the Mockingjay. Although when I had said that, I had been more thinking about what my death would do to the rebellion, not about how I would destroy the arena.

The whole thing reminded me of when the Gamemakers had set of the firestorm around me in the arena last year. The widespread one, not the little one in its sector this year. When the world had transformed into flames and smoke all around me within a matter of seconds. It had happened last year in the blink of an eye. The same thing was happening right now. But this was so obviously real. So obviously unexpected. Not Gamemaker controlled.

Suddenly I had another thought. Where were Beetee and Finnick? Where was everyone else? Enobaria was likely dead already but I had no way to be able to tell without the cannons. Without anything to warn me of what was happening. Where was Cato? Where was he? Was he still even alive? Johanna... Had she managed to get away from Enobaria and Chaff earlier? And Chaff... Maybe the cannon was for him. He hadn't been with Enobaria when she had met up with Finnick.

My face was drenched with sweat. Maybe it was from the blast or maybe it was from something else. I could tell that my cheek was bruised. Likely from something hitting me. Just like last year, I could feel a blood trail running down from my ear. But I could still hear. This blood trail was just from the blast. My nose was bloody, too. I had definitely taken a hard impact with the ground. My undergarments were smoking slightly and some of my skin had a charred look to it.

Suddenly a little light welled up over me. My head very slowly, almost impossibly, turned to the side. It was the only movement that I could make. My hands and legs were still frozen in their places. My mouth dropped open to breathe as breathing in through my nose was almost impossible. And it just smelled like blood. The little ray of light began to expand over me as I stared up at it, trying to keep myself from passing out. Trying to force myself to get up and run.

Everything seemed to erupt at once. The earth exploded into showers of dirt and plant matter. Trees started to burst into flames. Even the sky filled with brightly colored blossoms of light. I couldn't understand why the sky was being bombed until I realized the Gamemakers were shooting off fireworks up there, while the real destruction occurred on the ground. Just in case it wasn't enough fun watching the obliteration of the arena and the remaining Tributes. Or perhaps to illuminate our gory ends.

But that was also when I realized that it wasn't fireworks. Not like the ones on my wedding night. It was electrical systems popping and sparks shooting off. I willed my vision to focus in a little better. The top of the arena was likely at least a hundred and fifty feet in the air. But I started to stare straight up at that little piece of light. Just to see what was happening. Because it wasn't fireworks. This was even better. I was right before. I had thought that I was going crazy. It was pieces of the dome.

The first large chunk of the dome dropped down and I saw that it was being held on by all types of metal bars as they continued to collapse inwards. There were large cross-sections of the bars that were obviously designed for support. I could even see the reflective lighting that would cause us to think that it was daytime. The plants and trees around me were flaming as the dome gave a loud creak and the pieces of the dome dropped downwards even further. And then it happened.

Piece by piece by piece. Chunks of the arena dome began falling, unable to support their weight up in the sky. Some were falling and crashing straight to the ground while others were getting caught in bushes and demolishing trees. The explosions echoed clearly across the arena. One dropped just a few meters away from me. I could see the flames erupting out of the corner of my eyes but I was still unable to move. I just stared up at the beauty of the destruction, attempting to breathe.

Fleeing right now would have been a fool's move anyways. Where I was laying, the arena had a large hold just above it. I would be safe from being crushed by any falling chunks of the dome. The trees and fires were another question. Another piece of the dome landed on my other side, blowing leaves and dirt straight over my body. As I stared up towards the sky I saw more and more tiles from the dome falling and landing all around me as the hole in the dome grew larger.

Would they let anyone survive this? Was anyone else even alive? Was I alive? Or was this something that I had made up as I attempted to pass through the veil? My last wish. Ending the Hunger Games. Or, at least, giving President Snow a nice show that he would have a hell of a time spinning in his favor. Would there be a Victor of the Seventy-Fifth Hunger Games? Maybe not. After all, what was this Quarter Quell but... what was it that President Snow had read from the card?

"... _As a reminder to the rebels that even the strongest among them cannot overcome the power of the Capitol_..."

Not even the strongest of the strong would triumph from this. Not the Victors outside of the arena. Not the Tributes who were inside of the arena. Not the Capitol people, who would have no Victor. Not the rebels, whose Mockingjay was about to die. Not the Districts, who just wanted to live in peace. Not the Gamemakers, who had just been shown up. Not anyone. There would be no winner to these Hunger Games. Maybe not even a survivor. Certainly not me.

If I somehow managed to survive this moment, if I somehow wasn't going to die within the next few minutes, they would come in here just to get me and kill me. In a very slow manner. And a very painful way. More painful than anything else that I could have imagined. But they might have been happy that I had at least managed to kill everyone else. Perhaps they never intended to have a Victor in these Games at all. Or perhaps my final act of rebellion had forced their hand. Just like it had last year.

 _I'm sorry, Cato. I'm sorry I couldn't save you_. Everything that I had done since the announcement of the Quarter Quell, all of those things that had been done in such a desperation to save him, had all been damned the moment that I had done this. I had just damned any chance that he had. Save him? More likely I stole his last chance at life, condemned him, by destroying the force field. Maybe, if we had all played by the rules, they might have let him live. Maybe they would have at least made his death slow.

Just then the hovercraft materialized above me without warning. It just hovered there for a moment. _I'm not dead, but they're going to kill me_. I hoped that something had fallen straight on him. Killed him quickly, relatively painlessly, because somewhere they were grabbing him, too. If they left him long enough there was a chance that he could die. He had to die. Not because I wanted him to die, but because I couldn't stand the thought of what they might do to him.

The first tear slipped out. What if he was still alive? The worst torture that they could do, far more than anything that they could actually hurt me with, was him. What would they do to him? What would they make me watch. I tried so desperately to scream for him, to beg him to kill himself if he wasn't dead already, but nothing came out. I was trapped, as good as dead, and so was he. It would be slow and painful for us both. We wouldn't be together. We would die alone, just as we were always intended to.

If it was quiet, and a Mockingjay perched close at hand, I would have heard the jungle go silent and then the bird's call that preceded the appearance of the Capitol's aircraft. But my ears could never make out anything so delicate in this bombardment. It came in straight over the opening of the still-collapsing tiles. The strange u-shape hull and gentle hum of the engine. The blades swirling faster than I could see. Right above me. I'd never realized how horrifying it was to see the claw drop down.

But at least the Tributes were normally dead when the claw came down. Not me. The claw lowered and lowered until it was directly overhead of me. I saw the gears turning and heard the gentle grind of metal as the talons slid under me and closed. It didn't hurt, it wasn't even cold, but I went into a panic. A silent, stable, panic. Because it was too late. I knew that as soon as my back lifted off of the ground, only my head and feet still resting on the arena floor.

Then the claw began to raise. I wanted to scream, run, or smash my way out of it but I was frozen, helpless to do anything but fervently hope that I would die before I reached the shadowy figures awaiting me above. My arms were splayed out to the side and my feet were hanging off the other end limply as my head lolled back. I could feel the arrows pinned underneath me but the bow was gone, lost somewhere in the arena, and I was unable to get to my knives.

Up and up I went, slowly getting closer to the open doors on the hovercraft. Blood was still sliding down my arm and neck. It was making my brain fuzzy. As I raised up past the trees I saw them collapse in flames. The panels from the sky were still falling and smashing into the ground. Flames were erupting everywhere. They had not spared my life to crown me Victor but to make my death as slow and public as possible.

My head was swimming with all sorts of horrors that would await me as I raised closer and closer to the top of the hovercraft. To those doors that would doom me to my own personal hell. _Are you happy, Snow? Did I give you a good enough show?_ Whether or not he would kill me, I would at least enjoy this one little victory. He had always hated me so much, at least he would get repentance for destroying his precious arena. Scalp me, flay me, so many little ways to hurt me. And so many big ways.

Please be safe, Prim. Was she safe? Was Katniss safe? Had they seen what I had done? Gale would protect them. They would mourn me later. Right now they needed to flee. They would know by the looks on the people on the television. They knew the look of an animal at bay, when it knew that the death blow was going to be delivered. They would know that it was time to live. They could live off of the woods. If anyone could, they could. Gale and Katniss would protect their families. My family.

The Capitol would not hurt them. They would not kill them. My death would just have to be good enough. And as for Cato's family, I just had to believe that the Capitol would leave them be. Maybe interrogate them, but they would quickly realize that Cato was just along for the ride. It had been my choice. They would live. They would not be hurt for my actions. Not those two little girls. Not Skye and Julie, who had supported me. Not Alana and Damien, my other parents. Not a single one of them.

District 12 would have to brace itself. They would have to be ready for the way that my actions would fall back on them. Snow wouldn't be happy with me. They would have to hunker down for the attacks. But Madge had gotten her Mockingjay. I just wished that I could have done more. And Mom and Dad... _Are you proud of me? Would you have done this? Have I gotten my revenge for you?_ I would see them soon enough and finally get my answer.

At some point during the trip upwards I must have passed out. Because I couldn't focus anymore. Things went black. I couldn't remember seeing what the outside of the arena looked like. I couldn't get an idea of where we were in regards to Panem by the outdoor weather. All I remembered was my head lolling off to the side, a brief darkness, and then a bright light and the loss of the gentle breeze. I was inside of the hovercraft. Right in their reach.

My worst fears were confirmed when the face that greeted me inside of the hovercraft belonged to Plutarch Heavensbee, Head Gamemaker. What a mess I had made of his beautiful Games with the clever ticking clock and the field of Victors. They were set up to be such a beautiful Games and I had managed to ruin them. All thanks to me. Of course he would be the one to greet me. He would suffer for his failure, probably lose his life like Seneca almost did, but not before he saw me punished.

That would be his one last request. A request that Snow would likely oblige to. He would want everyone to see just how much power he held. He would want people to see what happened when they dared to fight back against me. Things must have been bad if even the Head Gamemaker was in the hovercraft. But he was the only person that I could see. Those words that we had exchanged the day of my wedding to Cato...

 _Think harder, Aspen. I love the game. That's why I became to Head Gamemaker. But I intend for this year to be different. I want a bigger game. I want it to transcend all of history._

 _It's a Quarter Quell. Of course it will go down in history._

 _No. That's not what I meant. Things are going to be different this year. And they start with you._

Yes. This did all start with me. It had always started with me. It had just taken me a little too long to realize that. But it was the way that he spoke. Smiling at me. Did he really believe that I wouldn't fight back against him? Did he really believe that this wouldn't happen? Or was he waiting for me to do this so that he could execute me himself? Sentencing myself to death.

 _But, as I said, please do enjoy these Games. I do look forward to seeing what you do with them._

 _I'll make them something to remember._

 _Wonderful. I don't think you made a mess out of the last ones. I think that you made them better. I don't mind a Tribute correcting the mistakes of the Gamemakers. I don't mind seeing how they would alter the Games. Please feel free to alter mine._

 _Excuse me?_

 _Alter them. Play them the way that you want. It was the way that I designed it._

 _I'll see to it that I do._

 _And I'll look forward to it._

 _Thank you for the dance, Plutarch. I'll make you proud of these Games._

 _You already have._

A small grin formed on my face. At least, I thought that it was a grin. I was laughing. At least, I thought that I might have been laughing. Or maybe it was all in my head. But I tried to get out my thoughts to Plutarch through my face since I couldn't speak. I wanted him to know exactly what I was thinking. _Did I make you proud, Plutarch? Do you like what I've done?_ All those things that I couldn't say, seeing as I would be dead in a matter of days. Once they had made me pretty again, of course.

Then another figure appeared. "You're safe, Aspen," it said.

The figure. Seneca Crane. The man that I thought was on my side. Of course he wasn't. He was here, ready to offer his opinion on how to kill or torture me. He pushed my hair back off of my forehead. I tried to bite him, but I was still paralyzed. Plutarch's hand reached for me, I thought to strike me, but he did something worse. With his thumb and his forefinger, he slid my eyelids shut, sentencing me to the vulnerability of darkness. They could do anything to me now and I would not even see it coming.

My heart was pounding so hard that the blood began to stream from beneath my soaked moss bandage. My thoughts grew foggy. Possibly I could bleed to death before they could revive me after all. I tried to make my heart pump faster, send more blood through my veins, allow it to escape through my arm. In my mind, I whispered a thank-you to Johanna Mason for the excellent wound she inflicted as I blacked out, hopefully for the final time.

Cato's P.O.V.

He was stunned. He had never been so stunned in his entire life. Never. Not even after he had been stung by Tracker Jackers, although that hadn't been a pleasant time either. But now things were even worse. What the hell had even happened? He wasn't very sure. All he knew was that he had been hit over the head by a very large falling branch not long ago. Or maybe it was hours ago. He didn't know. He didn't know. All he knew was that things were very wrong.

The plan had gone to hell a long time ago. He had noticed it the second that Finnick and Beetee had started speaking and rapidly with each other. They had sounded concerned. Then the wire had snapped. They had seen it roll back upwards. No cannon, so he had known that she wasn't dead yet. That was when Chaff and Enobaria had appeared, just minutes later. Cato had gone to cut Enobaria's head off when she had turned back and jammed her sword straight through Chaff's heart.

Everything had gone insane after that. Haymitch had run to try and keep Chaff alive. Finnick had chased after Johanna and Aspen, or maybe he had been going after Enobaria. And Beetee had gotten electrocuted after that. Cato couldn't remember much. Just dropping everything to try and get to Aspen. He had known that it was the time for the two of them to leave. Let the others slaughter each other while they waited it out. He had been about to scream for her.

That was when it happened. The blast echoed throughout the entire arena. He was almost clear across the arena when the blast had happened. Louder and large than it normally was. Then the impact. The destruction that followed. Enough to blow everyone onto their backs, no matter where they were standing. Enough to blow Cato back off of his feet as everything started falling. He wasn't sure what had happened. He just knew that he couldn't move, even though he hadn't been close to the lightning tree.

The only thing he knew was that she had done it. Something happened and she figured out Beetee's plan. Either he told her or she had just given it a try. He knew that she didn't know the real plan. She couldn't have. He didn't know and that meant that she hadn't known either. She would have told him, or at least spoken like she understood things a little better. He just knew that it was her arrow that he had seen go up, which meant that it had to be Aspen.

He had seen the arrow first. Then the whitish-blue chord that had followed. The wire. She had attached it to the arrow. Had Beetee told her to do it or had she figured it out herself? Then the deafening bang. The loss of visuals, including the night sky. The red ring in the sky. Then the pieces of the arena erupting and collapsing in pieces all around him. She had destroyed the force field. And it was collapsing all around him, flames and dirt and metal flying everywhere. That was when the tree branch had hit him.

Now he was on the ground and unable to move. Unable to think. Unable to understand what made sense and what didn't. Most of the things that had just happened didn't make sense. He just knew that Aspen had done it. That kind of shot was one that only she could make. But he couldn't believe that she had done it. Or that she was in on the plan. Whatever the plan was. He had heard her screams. She couldn't have been in on it. He heard the cannon. Was she dead?

Finnick had gone off after Enobaria. He had a feeling that he was trying to kill her. For what she had done to Chaff and for what she had done to Aspen earlier in the Games. The cannon could have been for Enobaria. Or maybe it was for Chaff. He looked dead. Was he dead? The power to the arena was completely out right now. If anyone else had died there was no way to know. The cannons weren't working. If she was dead, he might not know. He might never know.

He couldn't stand the thought. He couldn't stand the thought of her being hurt or even being dead. Not when he had fought so hard to keep her alive. Not when he had fallen so desperately in love with her so long ago. Or, at least, it felt like it was forever ago. He felt like he had known her forever. He wanted to get the rest of his life with her. A long and happy life. She was supposed to live. It was supposed to be her. Haymitch had promised him. He had promised Cato that the real deal had been given to him.

That meant that she had to be alive. She _had_ to be alive. There was no other option. He just needed some help. Someone to help him get back to his feet. But it was impossible. He was sure that most of the bones in his right foot were broken. And his left leg was almost useless after being eaten away by the fog. His head with throbbing from the impact of the tree branch. His hands and chest had been burned from the flames all around him. And he had been hit by some of the blast from the force field.

It had showered sparks onto everyone and thrown them all backwards. He was paralyzed. Maybe. He couldn't tell. He opened his mouth to try and scream out for her but he couldn't. It was like he was mute. And she couldn't have heard him anyways. Not over all of the noise in the arena. Chaff would be useless. He either was dead or was almost dead. He was face-down having already been mortally injured by Enobaria. The arena was still collapsing around him.

Just then a hovercraft appeared. The outline of one. His eyes were fuzzy from the smoke that was shrouding his vision. But he knew the look of the one that took the dead Tributes' bodies back to the Capitol. But this was wrong. He wasn't dead. But they were going to take him. Likely to torture him. The claw was slowly dropping through the air down towards his body. He tried so desperately to move, but nothing was working. They were coming to kill him. All of them. Whoever remained.

As much as he loved her - and as much as it broke his heart - he willed Aspen to be dead. For the first time, even after telling her all of those times in the first Games, he genuinely wished that she was dead. He had never _really_ wanted her dead. He had wanted to mess with her. Now he really wanted her dead. But it was just because he knew that they would torture her if they caught her. What they did to him would be nothing compared to what they did to her if she was still alive.

After everything that she had done, they would make her suffer to a humanly unbearable point. He was finally raised up into the hovercraft, still unable to move. There were Peacekeepers walking all around the area. One immediately stuck a needle of what he figured was some type of sedative into his neck. Then he was strapped down onto the table. And an oxygen mask was placed over his mouth and nose a moment later. He felt himself starting to become woozy.

Where was she? Where the hell was she? He could barely move, he couldn't even move his head around on his neck, but he was trying so desperately to find her. Where was she? Even if it was just her body, even if it was just her corpse that he could see for a few seconds, he just wanted to see her. One last time. Her face, her eyes, her smile. He wanted to see all of it one last time. He just wanted to see her one last time. Before she died. She had to die. He would kill her himself if he could.

If he could just move. If he could get the oxygen mask off and blow past the Peacekeepers. He would be able to move before the sedative got too far into his veins. She was here, somewhere. She was here in the hovercraft. She had to be. They would have already found her. She would have been the priority. He could kill her quickly if she wasn't already dead. His last way to protect her from whatever they were planning to do. He would finally live up to that promise on killing her, but out of love, not hatred.

"Aspen..." Cato muttered.

"Your wife is dead," a Peacekeeper snarled.

 _Good. I don't want her anywhere near you._

But it was still like a punch to the gut. _She's dead. My wife is dead._ The woman that he had fought so hard to protect was dead. But it was better this way. She was at least at peace in death. They couldn't hurt her. Not anymore. No more than they already had. He was alive and they would torture him to the point that he wished that he was dead. But that was okay. As long as she was dead and not in their grasp. She was gone and he was surprisingly glad.

They would never be able to hurt her. She was safe. At peace. And that was all that mattered to him. They could do whatever they wanted to him as long as she was okay. Cato slowly lifted his head up to stare at the roof of the hovercraft. They must have been heading straight back to the Capitol. A tear slipped out of his eye but he was unable to wipe it away. And that was okay. He was so happy that she was dead. He just wished that he was dead with her.

 _It was the middle of the day and they were up on the roof. The rooftop garden that they had claimed as theirs so long ago. His favorite place to be with her. She looked so happy. Aspen's head was down in his lap. She was staring up at him and smiling. Her laughter was echoing all over the roof. She was eating some type of chocolate candy. He watched as she tossed one up and giggled as he managed to lean forward and catch it in his own mouth. Her hands slowly traced up his thighs, making his muscles clench._

 _"What do you think it's like?" she asked softly._

 _"What?"_

 _"Death."_

 _His chest twisted. She wasn't going to die. Never. "Aspen -"_

 _"Humor me," she interrupted._

 _Cato hesitated for a moment. "Peaceful," he finally answered, remembering the large number of deceased people that she knew._

 _"Really?"_

 _"Yes."_

 _"When I sang to Rue, I sang to her about going to sleep in a meadow. That's where I like to imagine that she is. If I die in there, I hope that I'm with her in that meadow. Her and my parents and Thresh and Peeta. All of them," Aspen said happily._

 _He was almost surprised that she had said it happily. The corners of his lips tilted upwards. "I'll tell them that you said hello," Cato whispered._

 _She made something that sounded like a slightly strangled scream in the back of her throat. He knew what she wanted. He knew that she wanted him to live and she wanted to die. But he didn't care what she wanted. Not when it was something like that. He couldn't tolerate having her dead. Never. Cato leaned down and pressed his lips to hers, giving her a lingering kiss. His hands went back to tangle in her hair and keep her pressed against him, not daring to let her back away._

In the meantime, as he laid them back, the blankets getting wrapped around their legs and torsos, he felt her let out a little sob into his mouth. Cato wrapped a hand around her waist as her arms hooked around his neck. He knew that he shouldn't have said that to her. He knew that he shouldn't have mentioned his upcoming death, but it was the truth. She wouldn't be the one to die. He would be. He would not live. Not without her. He wouldn't have known how, anyways.

 _"What?" she asked as they pulled apart._

 _"Remember when you told me not to watch your parents' Games? Or ours? Because you wanted me to remember that version of you. Right here," Cato said, motioning around them._

 _"Yes."_

 _"Do the same for me. Remember me. Right now. Right here."_

 _"Deal," she whispered._

 _He heard the hesitance in her voice. The desire to have him be the one to live. "That meadow... Do you think that one day we'll be there together?" Cato asked slowly._

 _"I do. It'll be a while, but I think that we'll get there one day. We've been through too much bad. There has to be some good waiting for us. Somewhere. Eventually," she said._

 _"So you'll meet me in the meadow?" Cato asked._

 _"Yes," she said, actually smiling._

The memory was surprisingly painful to think about. But there was a silver lining. She was in her meadow right now. He wanted to be there with her. And he would be there with her soon enough. He hoped that the meadow was as pretty as she wanted it to be. He hoped that there were the same wildflowers there that she had decorated Rue's body with. The flowers that had first shown him just how much he loved her. Just how cruel the Games were.

Her meadow... She was there. Her meadow that she loved so much. The meadow that he had reassured her that she would go to once she died. The meadow that he thought that he would make it to first. That meadow that she had tried so hard to reassure Rue with. The exact moment that he knew that he was in love with her. Watching her sit over the little girl. He just hoped that Rue was watching over her right now. In their meadow.

He hoped that the meadow was everything that she wanted. Just like the song said. He knew that the oxygen and the sedative was getting to him. He would be out in a matter of minutes. His head was lolling off to the side as he saw Johanna and Enobaria being loaded into the hovercraft. Enobaria looked almost dead but she was still hanging onto life. Johanna was fighting back against the Peacekeepers but was quickly being sedated. She whipped around and her eyes locked with his.

"No!" she screamed desperately.

"It's okay..." Cato whispered.

As long as she was dead they couldn't do anything more to her. No more than what they had already done. And that was all that mattered. She was safe now. She was in peace. And he intended to kill himself as soon as he could. The second that they turned their backs on him. He would be with her. For eternity. In peace. With the only person that had ever meant anything to him. The person that meant the world to him. What was it that he'd said to her that day on the roof?

 _Sing to me. Sing that song that you sang Rue._

Her voice was clear. Melodic. Beautiful. He wished that she would have sang to him more often. He wished that he would have heard her sing more often. He wished that she wasn't so afraid of singing in public. But he could still hear her right now. As clear as day. His final thoughts before the sedative took over and his real nightmare began.

 _Deep in the meadow, under the willow  
A bed of grass, a soft green pillow  
Lay down your head, and close your eyes  
And when again they open, the sun will rise.  
Here it's safe, here it's warm  
Here the daisies guard you from every harm  
Here your dreams are sweet and tomorrow brings them true  
Here is the place where I love you. _

_I love you, too, Aspen. Always._

Aspen's P.O.V.

After Rue died I remembered that my mind sent me a good dream, just the way that it always did when things were particularly bad. She had been my Mockingjay, singing to me, leading me somewhere. There had been another good dream tonight. Today. What time was it? What day was it? What year was it? I wasn't sure. But I did know that there had been a good dream. I knew that it was a good dream. Because for just that second I felt the happiness.

The happiness from that dream. I had been in my meadow. The meadow that I had sang to Rue about. The meadow that Cato had asked me about. It was the first time that I had dreamed about the meadow in months. It looked like the one in District 12. There was a little baby in my arms. Maybe a year old, if even that. A little girl. She had my blonde hair and Cato's searing blue eyes. She was crying but calmed down the moment that I sang to her. My song about the meadow.

The other child was out further in the meadow. Maybe four or five years old. It was a little boy. Cato was standing out and playing with him, allowing him to chase him through the meadow. They were laughing as Cato lifted the boy up around the waist and threw him over his shoulder. The little boy was squeaking in joy. He had curly blonde hair and darker eyes, more similar to my own. But their bodies... they were full, like children always should be. Not suffering from hunger.

Not suffering from the Hunger Games. I knew that they weren't. Because the stage that the Reaping was always set up on was gone. I smiled as Cato brought our son back over to me and dropped down at my side, pressing a lingering kiss on my lips. A kiss that made my toes curl, even after so many years had passed. The little boy chirped in disgust. The little girl squealed happily. Emilia and Linden. Named for my mother and father. Who I knew, in the other life, were so proud of me.

" _I love you. All of you_ ," Cato whispered.

But it was all a dream. I knew that the moment that the world started shifting and it turned into a nightmare. Emilia's eyes were suddenly gouged out. Linden's back was torn open, his spine clearly visible. The kids were dead. Because they had been sent into the Games. And Cato... Cato's throat was slit, blood pouring out. He was trying to speak to me as I leaned over him, screaming at the top of my lungs, begging him to stay with me. But he was dead. And without him, so was I.

It wasn't over yet. I was still alive. I knew that much. The pain was horrible. I could feel it echoing throughout my body. It felt like I might have been able to move now, but definitely not as much as I normally could. And I was still alive. I needed to be dead. Cato must have been dead by now. We both needed to be dead. Long before they could do anything to us. We were in the hovercraft, likely heading back to the Capitol. A place that I couldn't be as they definitely weren't happy with me right now.

 _Get over the nightmare, Aspen_. I had to get up and manage myself. I had to end things. More than I had before. The Games were over. At least, for this year. Now I had to end the way that they kept playing with me. All of the games that they had played from the moment that I had volunteered and the games that they had played even before I was born. The games that they had started with my family two decades ago. They were going to end right now. With my death.

So when I fully swam back into semi consciousness, I started to make work of whatever I could. It was time for me to move. I had to get up. But it was a problem. I could feel that I was lying on a padded table. Were they trying to give me some comfort? That was stupid. I would have thought that I would be in a glass cage where they could keep me on display to the rest of Panem. A public punishment for what I had done. But not just yet. We weren't in the Capitol yet. This wasn't public enough.

There was the pinching sensation of tubes in my left arm. The band around my arms had been taken away. Which meant that the button was gone, too. The button that I still didn't understand. Seneca had never been on my side. He had given me that button for some reason. A reason that I still hadn't managed to figure out. Maybe they would leave him alive because maybe that button was some type of trick that he had played on me. A trick that I had thought would help me keep Cato safe.

The tubes were obviously helping me. Some type of Capitol medicine. Cheap. Only enough to keep me alive and functioning. They were trying to keep me alive because, if I slid quietly, privately into death, it would be a victory. My own personal victory. The only real one that I had ever gotten. I was still largely unable to move, open my eyelids, or raise my head. The feeling was coming back to my body but that was just about it. I was still very weak and pretty much completely useless.

But my right arm had regained a little motion. It flopped across my body, feeling like a flipper, no, something less animated, like a club. Why hadn't they tied me down? That was stupid. I wasn't going to complain. I would force myself to get up and do something to kill myself. Something to end this. I had no real motor coordination, no proof that I even still had fingers. My hand just felt like some type of rubbery material. Something almost like a baseball bat that the kids in the merchant sector used.

Yet I managed to swing my arm around until I ripped the tubes out. It was obviously something that was helping me stay awake. Or maybe it was the sedative. Maybe it was a blood bag, considering that I could feel something wet spray across me. It might have been a saline drip. Maybe even some Morphling, since suddenly a little bit more feeling was coming back into my body. A beeping started to go off but I couldn't stay awake to find out who it would summon.

The next time I surfaced, my hands were tied down to the table and the tubes were back in my arm. The fogginess was back in my brain and I was sure that someone was pumping liquid lead into my veins. My limbs felt very heavy but I could tell that it would be a little easier to move around right now. Easy enough that I could find something to use to kill my captors. Not that it would help my condition, but it might have made me feel a little bit better.

Right now I could open my eyes and lift my head slightly, though. I was in a large room with low ceilings and a silvery light. That was when I realized that we were on the hovercraft. It was the same kind of hovercraft that we used to take to the arena. The same hovercraft that I had never thought that I would be in again. There were the two rows of chairs on each side of me. One that I had been sitting in just a few days ago. I could hear the breathing of what I assumed were my fellow Victors.

It was still impossible to turn my head too far in any direction. I couldn't see anything that far away. There looked like there were another few rooms to each side - ones that I had never seen before - but no one was standing around. Not that I could see. They would let me wallow in my misery first. Directly across from me I saw Beetee with about ten different machines hooked up to him. _Just let us die!_ But they wouldn't. They would let it hurt first. I slammed my head back hard on the table and went out again.

When I finally, truly, woke up, the restraints were gone. Gone? Why would they have done that? The back of my head had some wet liquid that I assumed was blood from hitting my head so hard before. How long ago was it? I raised my hand and found I had fingers that could move at my command again. I pushed myself to a sitting position and held on to the padded table until the room settled into focus. My left arm was bandaged but the tubes dangled off stands by the bed.

My head was spinning. It must have been a little while, since sitting upright was actually rather difficult. I felt very weak and extremely exhausted. Like I hadn't slept in months. But I was sure that I had been sleeping for a long time. Until President Snow figured out what he wanted to do with me. He would leave me to wonder for weeks before eventually coming up with a thousand different ways, each more intense than the next, to slaughter me.

Unfortunately I was alone except for Beetee, who still laid in front of me, being sustained by his army of machines. Where were the others, then? What had they done to them? Killed them already? Doubtful. They would make it slow for everyone. Cato, Finnick, Enobaria, Haymitch, and... and... one more, right? Either Johanna or Chaff were still alive when the bombs began. I was sure that they would want to make an example of us all. But where had they taken them? Moved them from hospital to prison?

"Cato..." I whispered.

My first and only priority. Making sure that my husband was safe. Not safe, actually. It was too late to save him. Too late to save myself. I so wanted to protect him. Even now I was still resolved to. Since I had failed to keep him safe in life, as it was already too late, I must find him, and kill him now before the Capitol got to choose the agonizing means of his death. I couldn't sit around and wait to see what they would do to him. What they would do to him, all the while making me watch.

All of the horrible ways that they could kill him... They were all wracking through my brain. Each one worse than the last. Starve him to death? Just the way that I had once starved to death. Because I knew the pain that he would suffer. Dehydration? Another thing that I was overly familiar with. Decapitation? Force me to watch as his severed head rolled to my feet, likely still blinking or making noise for a few seconds. Some type of lethal injection designed to produce horrible pain as he slowly died?

Electrocuting him? Just the way I had dumbly electrocuted myself. Crucify him in the streets and force people to walk underneath him as he slowly and painfully ended his life? As a reminder of what happened when we tried to fight back. Burn him alive? Keep with the whole Girl on Fire thing. Killing my husband in my own name. What a laugh President Snow would have with that. Or maybe they would drown him and leave his body to rot in a cell with me as I cried and begged to end everything.

Those were some of the more demure things that I could think of. Things that I no longer wanted to think of. Because then I would start thinking about the muttations and every other horrible thing that they could do to him. All of the things that I had tried so desperately to protect him from. All of the things that I had failed to protect him from. Now I would. I could maybe at least get him to that meadow. I slid my legs off of the table and looked around for a weapon that I could use. My arrows and knives were gone.

There were a few syringes sealed in sterile plastic on a table near Beetee's bed. Perfect. All I would need was air and a clear shot at one of his veins. It would be painful. I knew that much. I could just hope that he wouldn't wake up and forgive me when we made it to our meadow. I paused for a moment and considered killing Beetee. He hadn't betrayed me. I owed it to him. But if I did, the monitors would start beeping and I would be caught before I got to Cato. I made a silent promise to return and finish him off if I could.

As I glanced down at myself I realized that I was naked except for a thin nightgown. No place to hide the syringe. So I slipped the syringe under the bandage that covered the wound on my arm. Blood was already covering it. There were no guards at the door. Maybe I wasn't on the hovercraft. I couldn't feel it moving. Maybe I was already miles beneath the Training Center or in some Capitol stronghold, and the possibility of my escape was nonexistent. It didn't matter. I wasn't escaping, just finishing a job.

So as quietly as I possibly could, I crept down a narrow hallway to a metal door that stood slightly ajar. Was it where they were keeping Cato? I had to find him. I had to kill him. I had to free him from the Capitol's clutches. He couldn't be hurt by them any more than he already had been. Someone was behind the door. And it wasn't Cato. I took out the syringe and gripped it in my hand. I could kill them. I knew that I could. Flattening myself against the wall, I listened to the voices inside.

"Communications are down in Seven, Ten, and Twelve. But Eleven has control of transportation now, so there's at least a hope of them getting some food out."

Oddly enough, that was a voice that I was reasonably positive that I had heard before. Plutarch Heavensbee. I thought, at least. Although I had only really spoken with him three times. During one I had been overwhelmed and during the other two I had been startled and angry. Plus I had heard him speak at training. But I had been furious and barely able to process what he was saying to me. A hoarse voice asked a question. Something about going somewhere.

"No, I'm sorry. There's no way I can get you to Four. But I've given special orders for her retrieval if possible. It's the best I can do, Finnick."

Finnick... My mind struggled to make sense of the conversation - with all of the heavy sedative still pumping through my brain - of the fact that it was taking place between Plutarch Heavensbee and Finnick Odair. Was he so near and dear to the Capitol that he would be excused from his crimes? I was near and dear, too, but I was the one that had destroyed the arena. I would not be so easily forgiven. Or did he really have no idea what Beetee intended? He croaked out something else. Something heavy with despair. Something about getting someone.

"Don't be stupid. That's the worst thing you could do. Get her killed for sure. As long as you're alive, they'll keep her alive for bait," Haymitch said.

"We have to leave her. She'll be safe. They won't hurt her," Seneca Crane said.

That was when I stopped dead in my tracks, realizing something that hadn't dawned on me before. There were no Peacekeepers here. There were no Capitol officials. With the exception of Plutarch and Seneca. Why were they were? I was so confused. It wasn't making sense. Plutarch was not on my side but Seneca was. Was he? I still couldn't quite understand if they were on the same side as me. But something else did dawn on me. It was not the Capitol that evacuated us from the arena.

There was no way that it had been the Capitol. That was why I hadn't been hurt or killed yet. That was why no one had spoken to me yet. That was why I hadn't seen President Snow or anyone else that would directly threaten me. Someone had brought me here. Someone who wanted me alive. They had bandaged me up. They had bandaged Beetee up. And obviously Finnick, too. But what about the others? What about Cato? Where the hell was he? And what about Haymitch's promise to me?

Haymitch! Haymitch was right out there! He would be there to speak with. I trusted Haymitch enough to know that he wasn't going to hurt me or let anyone hurt me. Not right now. Not until we all knew what was going on. Not until someone told me what the hell was happening here. And definitely not until I knew what was happening with Cato. Where we were, what the plan was, or why the hell I was still alive and not being flayed in the streets. Their voices started up again.

"She's gonna lose it when she finds out about the boy," Haymitch said.

The boy... Which boy? Cato? What had happened to him? "She'll still cooperate, though?" Plutarch asked.

"Without Cato? There's no guarantee," Haymitch said.

Without Cato? Was he dead? Had he actually died? What the hell was happening here? Where was he? "We all know that she won't. Not without some real motivation," Seneca said.

"She won't fight. Not without him," Brutus said.

"Just tell her when -" Finnick started.

But now I needed to know what was happening. I needed to know what had happened. So, without thinking better of it, I banged through the door and stumbled into the room. Haymitch, Brutus Plutarch, Seneca, and a very beat-up Finnick were sitting around a table laid with a meal that no one was eating. They were all staring at me, very surprised. Daylight streamed in the curved windows, and in the distance I saw the top of a forest of trees. We were flying. We were on the hovercraft. I thought so.

Plutarch was still in what appeared to be his Head Gamemaker uniform. Although the purple collar was gone. He was dressed relatively simple. Finnick was in a long green shirt and appeared to be having a hard time standing. Haymitch looked the most stable and he was the closest to me. Seneca was standing in the background in his normal red and black suit. Brutus was wearing a simple shirt and trousers. They were all staring at me like they had seen a ghost as my breathing became very labored.

"Morning, sweetheart," Haymitch said carelessly.

Now? He would pick now of all times to try and tease me? Now was definitely the wrong time to try and tease me. He was smiling at me and took a few steps closer to me. Without thinking better of it, I stormed forwards and slipped out the syringe from my bandage. I was going to kill him. I was actually going to kill him. Why the hell was he with the people who had tried to kill and betray me? I reached the syringe up to jam it into his shoulder but Haymitch managed to catch my arms.

He had always been stronger than me. Partially because of size and partially because he had trained with me for the Quarter Quell and gained back some of the strength that he used to have. We wrestled for a moment before Haymitch shoved me backwards and pinned me up against the wall. The heavy sedative that had been in my veins up until a few seconds ago was not making movement easy. He pushed my hands up above my head as I tried to shove him off of me.

"What are you doing with them?" I seethed, pushing back against Haymitch.

He merely moved my arms above my head and tried to pry the syringe from my arms. "So it's you and a syringe against the Capitol?" Haymitch asked.

"Get _off_ of me!"

"Done knocking yourself out, sweetheart?" Haymitch asked.

It was my warning. I had known Haymitch long enough and well enough to know when the tone of his voice told me that it was time to stop arguing with him and do whatever he said. But this time was different. This time was very different. The annoyance was clear in his voice as he stepped backwards from me. But as I careened forward to try and attack him again, he stepped up and caught my wrists, steadying me. He then looked down at my hand.

"See, this is why no one lets you make the plans." I stared at him uncomprehendingly. "Drop it," Haymitch ordered.

But I wasn't going to drop it. Not until they told me what the hell was happening right now. They had left me out of this plan for far too long. I felt the pressure increase on my right wrist until my hand was forced to open and I released the syringe. Haymitch then settled me in a chair next to Finnick. Plutarch put a bowl of broth in front of me and a roll. Then he slipped a spoon into my hand. But I went to attack Haymitch again. For a third time. In a second I was back up against the wall with my spoon on the ground.

What I would have done with a spoon as a weapon, I wasn't sure. "What the hell are you doing in here?" I sneered at the others.

"Stop. Stop. Just listen," Finnick tried, mostly to calm down Haymitch.

"What the hell was that button for?" I snarled at Seneca.

Haymitch's shoulder forearm was down on my shoulder, keeping me in place. "Please be quiet. Let us explain," Seneca said, gentler than I had ever heard him before.

"We couldn't tell you with Snow watching. It was too risky. Better for you to know nothing," Haymitch said.

"I should kill you," I barked.

"With your syringe? With your spoon? Go ahead," Haymitch offered.

"Relax, Haymitch," Brutus said, surprisingly calm. "You, too, Aspen." It was the first time that he had called me by my name.

"Haymitch, come on, let her go," Finnick said.

Finally Haymitch backed off enough so that I could shove him backwards. I was still panting heavily while everyone else was staring at me. A moment later Plutarch walked up to me but I shoved myself away, almost falling. None of them, not a single damn one, was going to touch me. So I merely followed him back to the table. But I didn't sit down. I stood over where my broth was and stared down, unblinkingly, at it. I was starving, but not right now. Food wasn't important.

"Eat," Plutarch said in a much kinder voice than Haymitch used.

Haymitch then sat directly in front of me. "Aspen, I'm going to explain what happened. I don't want you to ask any questions until I'm through. Do you understand?" he offered

Did I understand? I didn't understand a damn thing that was going on right now. I didn't understand everything. I wasn't sure what he meant but I knew that it was the right thing to do. To finally know about the plan. The plan that they had been talking about for a long while. The plan that I wished that they had told me about forever ago. They were all staring at me, waiting for my answer. So I nodded numbly. And this was what he told me.

There was a plan to break us out of the arena from the moment the Quell was announced. A plan to release both Cato and me as soon as possible. The Victor Tributes from Two (Enobaria, at least), Three, Four, Six, Seven, Eight, Ten, and Eleven had varying degrees of knowledge about it. Only District One, Five, and Nine were unaware of the plan. District 1 already hated me and were Capitol loyalists, District 5 was quite wealthy and enjoyed the Capitol enough, and District 9 wasn't trustworthy.

Plutarch Heavensbee had been, for several years, part of an undercover group aiming to overthrow the Capitol. He was the one that was responsible for my high scores to ensure that I had enough Sponsors. In the first Games when they had faith that I would be the one to make it out and that I had a spirit that could make me the face of the rebellion. And in the second Games to keep me alive and ensure that I would make it out of the arena relatively uninjured.

Plutarch made sure the wire was among the weapons in the Cornucopia. Finally I found out why it made sense that the wire was there. Because it was exactly what we needed to enact the next part of the plan. Beetee was the one who was in charge of blowing a hole in the force field. He had failed and been badly injured when the force field had blown him backwards. They were lucky enough that I had caught on to what he was doing and shot the hole in the top of the dome.

It definitely wasn't what they had originally intended to do to destroy the arena, but it worked well enough. The button that Seneca Crane gave me was a secondary tracker. One that the Capitol didn't have. One that only the rebels would be able to track from their own computers. One that the Capitol didn't know that they had. And the golden color of the tracker was to get me to trust him without having to reveal the plan to me. They had trusted that I knew when the time would come.

The bread that we received in the arena was a code for the time of the rescue. The District where the bread originated indicated the day. Three. The number of rolls was the hour. Twenty-four. Midnight. Now I realized that Beetee's plan had really started once we had gotten the rolls. Because that was when he knew that the hovercraft was coming and was coming soon. And Seneca's warning up to me on the roof was to put me on edge that night. To keep me alert. To stay alive until the third night.

The hovercraft belonged to District 13. That took the longest for me to process. Bonnie and Twill, the women that Katniss and I met in the woods from District 8, were right about its existence and its defense capabilities. They had the nuclear technology that would help launch a real attack on the Capitol. We were currently on a very roundabout journey to District 13. We had to make sure that the rest of the Capitol hovercrafts weren't following us.

No one really knew about the location of District 13. They knew the general location but they didn't know exactly where. That was how they had managed to stay undercover for so long. No one had ever known. We would apparently be there at some point in the next day or so. The location had already been programmed into the computer. Meanwhile, most of the Districts in Panem were in full-scale rebellion. District 1 and District 2 were the only ones who weren't fighting yet.

Haymitch seemed to have finally gotten to the end of his story. My hands were tightening around the table. I could feel my nails chipping the harder that I dragged them across the table. But I didn't stop. Because I needed to do something that would keep me from running around and smashing everything in sight, as I had done that day before the Interviews last year. Haymitch then stopped to see if I was following. Or maybe he was just done for the moment.

It was an awful lot to take in, more than anything else that I ever had at once, this very elaborate plan in which I was a piece, just as I was meant to be a piece in the Hunger Games. Just as I had been meant to be used last year. Now I was still being used without consent and without knowledge. But my actions had shown them that I could be used as another piece. Just in a larger game. At least in the Hunger Games, I knew that I was being played with.

My supposed friends have been a lot more secretive. Then they went forward and told me that the families had known. They had actually known about the plan and kept it a secret. That day that they had vanished during the wedding, the entire wedding, had been planned just to get them to the Capitol. To let them know what was going to happen during the Games. It had been Plutarch's idea, of course, under the guise that it would make the Tributes hate me even more. And President Snow had fallen for it.

So it turned out that I wasn't the only one who was being used a piece in the games. There they had been warned about the plan and they had agreed to keep it a secret from us. For our own protection, they had told our families. A damn bit of good that had done for us. But they had agreed. They had known to be watching the clocks and listening to the warnings so that they would know when to leave. They would know where we were going and that it was time for them to protect themselves.

"You didn't tell me," I said. My voice was as ragged as Finnick's.

"Neither you nor Cato were told. We couldn't risk it. I was even worried you might mention my indiscretion with the watch during the Games," Plutarch said. He pulled out his pocket watch and ran his thumb across the crystal, lighting up the Mockingjay. "Of course, when I showed you this, I was merely tipping you off about the arena. As a Mentor. I thought it might be a first step toward gaining your trust. I never dreamed you'd be a Tribute again."

"I still don't understand why Cato and I weren't let in on the plan," I said.

"Because once the force field blew, you'd be the first ones they'd try to capture, and the less you knew, the better," Haymitch said.

"The first ones? Why?" I asked, trying to hang on to the train of thought.

We didn't know anything. What would be the point of getting us first? "For the same reason the rest of us agreed to die to keep you alive," Finnick said.

"No, Johanna tried to kill me," I said, remembering her attack.

"Johanna knocked you out to cut the tracker from your arm and lead Chaff and Enobaria away from you," Haymitch said.

"Chaff was supposed to be on our side. Why was he with Enobaria? And Enobaria was on our side, too. She betrayed us," I said.

"Enobaria got spooked about the plan so she backed out, attempting to kill you in the process. She just didn't make it in time. We managed to signal Chaff. He agreed to side with Johanna and pretend that he also wanted to go back on the agreement. He kept Enobaria away from you when Johanna pulled them away. He died when Enobaria figured it out and killed him."

"What?" My head ached so badly and I wanted them to stop talking in circles. "I don't know what you're -"

"We had to save you because you're the Mockingjay, Aspen," Plutarch said. "While you live, the revolution lives."

Just the way that I had told Plutarch that I was during my private sessions. Just the way that I had told myself time and time again. Just the way that I had told Cinna and he had told me. It was all slowly falling into place as the time passed. The bird, the pin, the song, the knives, the watch, the cracker, the dresses that burst into flames. Every single person in the rebellion, since Cinna had set me on fire during the first Tribute Parade, had known it all along. I am the Mockingjay.

Of course, I should have known that. I had said it myself a few times. I had even asked Haymitch about it during the Victory Tour when Corra's mother had screamed out something that had sounded like Mockingjay. The people that supported me. But Haymitch had told me to shut up about it and I had. I hadn't questioned it again for a long time afterwards. I was the one person that had survived despite the Capitol's plans. Despite their best efforts. The symbol of the rebellion.

It was what I suspected in the woods when I found Bonnie and Twill escaping. Though I never really understood the magnitude. But then, I wasn't meant to understand. I thought of Haymitch's sneering at my plans to flee District 12, start my own uprising, even the very notion that District 13 could exist. Subterfuges and deceptions. And if he could do that, behind his mask of sarcasm and drunkenness, so convincingly and for so long, what else had he lied about? Immediately I knew what else.

"Cato," I whispered, my heart sinking.

"The others kept Cato alive because if he died, we knew there'd be no keeping you in an alliance. And we couldn't risk leaving you unprotected," Haymitch said.

The realization was hitting me. His words were matter-of-fact, his expression unchanged, but he couldn't hide the tinge of gray that colored his face. That color that people got when they were trying to hide something terrible that had happened. When they were trying to protect someone else. Haymitch never had emotion in his eyes. Other than teasing, of course. But there was something else buried in the back of them right now. Guilt. Searing guilt. Because he had kept his promise to Cato. Not me.

"Where is Cato?" I hissed at him.

Now I knew that things were bad. I knew that things had finally turned. I knew that my greatest fears had been confirmed. Cato wasn't dead. No. This was something, much, much, worse. Plutarch walked off, heading into the far corner. Finnick turned around and pressed his fingers against the bridge of his nose, something that I would do from time to time when trying to get rid of a headache that kept persisting. I finally noticed that his arm, in the exact some spot as mine, was bandaged.

"He still has his tracker. Johanna cut yours out. He was picked up by the Capitol along with Johanna and Enobaria," Haymitch said.

His words were like a punch to the gut. It was like I had keeled over from some terrible blow and now someone was kicking me repeatedly, waiting until something ruptured. I waited for a moment. Hesitant. Knowing that Cato would pop out from around the corner and laugh at me for being such a moron, thinking that he was actually in the Capitol. But Haymitch finally had the decency to drop his gaze. My greatest fear was Cato's death until I destroyed the arena. Then it was the fear that they had him.

And now it had come true.

 _The night before the wedding, Cato and I were laying in bed together. Our clothes were sitting in the bedroom as I smiled up at Cato. He had me pulled up into his lap as his hands traced patterns in my thigh. His other hand wound up my spine and started to twirl my hair around his fingers. My hands were drawing nonsensical patterns onto his chest. The room was silent and I reveled in silence. Something that we wouldn't get in the coming days. And now there could be no arguing about the future._

 _"Can I ask you something?" I whispered._

 _"Sure."_

 _"Did you ever think that you would get married?"_

 _"Yes. At some point. I figured that it would probably be some girl that I walked past a thousand times at the Academy but never noticed. I figured that I would meet her around the District one day and like her more than I had liked every other girl that I met."_

 _"You don't sound too thrilled about that."_

 _"Because I found something better."_

 _"Oh, yeah?"_

 _"Yeah. I found myself a girl that I would do literally anything for. I found a girl that changed me. That showed me that there was so much more to life than the Games. Who showed me what love really was."_

 _"And I always would have."_

 _"I know. This past year with you. I wouldn't have traded it for anything in the world."_

 _"Even with how hard I made your life?" I asked._

 _"Not hard. Exciting. I wouldn't change anything, Aspen."_

 _"Really?"_

 _"Really. Just having you in my life for a while was worth it. Because you showed me who I can really be."_

 _"You're a wonderful man. The perfect kind of man to marry," I said._

 _"Even if it's just for a few days, you'll make a perfect wife," Cato said._

 _"But I'm so annoying."_

 _"Maybe," Cato said, making me scoff and shove him. "But I like it. I love everything about you. Even those pain in the ass personality quirks that you have."_

 _"Like?"_

 _"Scowling."_

 _We both snorted. "You really wound have stayed with me forever?" I asked._

 _"Of course. I could have shown you all of my favorite spots in District 2. You could have shown me all of your favorite spots in District 12. We could have explored the rest of the world."_

 _"The rest of the world?" I questioned._

 _"Sure. There has to be something beyond Panem. We can't be the last people."_

 _There was something about that thought that made me uncomfortable. "That would take a lot of time," I said._

 _"We would have had forever."_

 _"You would have gotten sick of me eventually."_

"No, I wouldn't have. Never. Aspen, _I know that I'm being selfish by trying to make the rest of my life - whatever length - happy, by spending it with you. No amount of time would have been enough. I'll love you until the end of my life. And, if there really is another life afterwards, I'll love you in that one, too."_

 _Pain. Love so strong that it was almost painful. "So you'll stay with me? Always?"_

 _"Always," Cato promised. "I swear."_

There was no threat of tears right now. Not like there had been the threat of tears that night. No. Right now all I was feeling was rage. My hands were shaking at my side, desperate for the feathers of an arrow or the cold steel. Everyone was looking away right now, unwilling to see the look on my face. Brutus was trying to walk over to me. But my eyes were deadlocked on Haymitch. All I could see was that night before we entered the arena.

 _Haymitch, wait. Remember our deal. Do whatever it takes to keep him alive. Promise me._

That look of pain that he gave me.

 _Okay._

Because he knew that it was a lie.

That was when I could longer hold it in. I reared back and slapped Haymitch as hard as I could across the face. "You son of a bitch! You son of a..." One of my arms hooked around him as I threw punch after punch, as hard as humanly possible. Brutus tried to pull me off but my fist went straight into his ear, likely deafening him for a while. "You promised me that you would save him over me! You promised me! You're a liar. You're a liar!" I screamed desperately.

It wouldn't do anything. I knew that hitting him wouldn't do anything. Other than maybe make him mad. But I couldn't give a damn about how angry he was with me. I was furious with him and I would never get over it. Haymitch Abernathy had now become one of my least trusted allies. Someone that had once been a friend. Someone that I had once thought of as a father. In fact, I had thought of him as that, up until as little as a few hours ago.

Technically, I was unarmed. But no one should ever underestimate the harm that fingernails could do, especially if the target was unprepared. So I lunged the two of us across the table and slammed us into the ground. There had to be a concussion from when I had hit the table earlier, and I knew that rattling around my head now was an even worse idea. But I couldn't stop. I was going to kill him. Easily I raked my long nails down Haymitch's face, causing blood to flow and a good amount of damage to one eye.

Then we were both screaming terrible, terrible things at each other. I was screaming everything that Johanna had screamed at me and everything that Cato had told me about and everything that I would never dare say in front of Prim. Finnick was trying to drag me out but he stopped when I turned back and jammed my fist into his windpipe. I hated him, too. I hated them all. I hated them all for keeping this away from me. I hated myself for not being smart enough to know it.

There was a stabbing feeling in my spine and I knew that Plutarch had given me a sedative. Automatically I started to drop to the ground as my voice turned to hysterical sobs. Haymitch was only near me long enough to gently set me on the ground. Then he turned back and walked away as Finnick dragged me away, still hysterically babbling. I knew that it was all Haymitch could do not to rip me apart, but I was the Mockingjay. I was the Mockingjay and it was too hard keeping me alive as it is.

Other hands helped Finnick and I was back on my table, my body restrained with my wrists tied down. Seneca was standing over me and mumbling apologies that meant less than nothing to me. So I bit down on my lip as roughly as I could, felt some blood fill in my mouth, and spit it directly in his face. The most that I could do right now. He wasn't angry. He just sighed, wiped the blood away, apologized another time, and told me that he would be back to check on me soon.

I didn't want him to come back and check on me. I didn't want any of them to come back and check on me. I wanted them to leave me here to die. I wanted to die. So I slammed my head in fury again and again against the table. There was a horrible pain, partly from what I assumed was the concussion, and partly from the horrible searing sensation in my chest. Nothing that they were doing to me. But heartbreak. Literally feeling like someone was prying apart each rib while slowly twisting a knife through my heart.

More fluid filled from behind me. Sticky and thick. What I assumed was more blood. But I wanted to keep going. Of course, they wouldn't let me kill myself after everything. So they placed a thick padding underneath my head and bolted it down so that I couldn't move it. Then they wrapped my head and another needle poked my arm. An even heavier sedative so that I couldn't move at all. My head hurt so badly that I stopped fighting and simply wailed in a horrible, dying-animal way, until my voice gave out.

There would be no more fighting. I couldn't keep fighting. I just couldn't. Everything was taken. My will. My mind. My strength. My husband. Everything was gone. All because no one could have opened their mouth and told me what was happening. All because no one had trusted me enough to tell me what was happening. And now Cato was gone and there was no way that I could get him back, because they wouldn't even go back for him. He would be trapped in the Capitol while I was trapped in District 13.

The drug caused sedation, not sleep, so I was trapped in fuzzy, dully aching misery for what seemed like always. They reinserted their tubes and talked to me in soothing voices that never reached me. Everything that they said went in one ear and out the other. I couldn't even realize who was speaking to me. All I could think of was Cato, lying on a similar table somewhere, while they tried to break him for information he didn't even have. My strong husband would be reduced to ashes in a matter of days.

"Aspen. Aspen, I'm sorry."

It was not the first time that someone had apologized to me. A number of people had apologized to me. But I didn't care. Because I knew the truth. They had only saved Cato at the Bloodbath, given their life for the monkeys, and brought him back from the dead because they needed me. Not because they cared about him. Not even because they cared about me. They just needed me. It was Finnick's voice that was coming from the bed next to mine and managed to slip into my consciousness. Perhaps because we were in the same kind of pain.

"I wanted to go back for him and Johanna, but I couldn't move."

My mouth was glued shut. I didn't answer. Finnick Odair's good intentions meant less than nothing to me. Mostly because I knew the truth. They hadn't saved him for any reason other than because I needed him. Because I wouldn't fight without him. And they were damn right. So I hoped that it was worth it. Losing Cato. Because they had just lost the Mockingjay, too. They could take as many pictures as they wanted of me. All they would get was a photograph of someone who was already dead.

"It's better for him than Johanna. They'll figure out he doesn't know anything pretty fast. And they won't kill him if they think they can use him against you," Finnick said.

"Like bait? Like how they'll use Annie for bait, Finnick?" I said to the ceiling.

Off to the side I could hear him weeping but I didn't care. They probably wouldn't even bother to question her, she was so far gone. Gone right off the deep end years ago in her Games. They knew that she would be terrified, but nothing more. She wasn't part of a plot to overthrow a government. There was a good chance that I was headed in the same direction. Maybe I was already going crazy and no one had the heart to tell me. I felt crazy enough.

"I wish she was dead. I wish they were all dead and we were, too. It would be best," Finnick said.

Well, there was no good response to that. I could hardly dispute it since I was walking around with a syringe to kill Cato when I found them. Did I really want him dead? What I wanted... what I wanted was to have him back. In my arms. In my bed. In my life. But I would never get him back now. Even if the rebel forces could somehow overthrow the Capitol, you could be sure President Snow's last act would be to cut Cato's throat. No. I would never get him back. So then dead was best.

But would Cato know that or would he keep fighting? He was so strong and such a good liar. Did he think he had a chance of surviving? Did he even care if he did? He wasn't planning on it, anyway. He had already signed off on life. Maybe, if he knew I was rescued, he was even happy. Felt that he fulfilled his mission to keep me alive. And it was the truth. He had begged Brutus to put everything into saving me. And Brutus had lived up to it.

Suddenly I realized that I hated Cato even more than I did Haymitch right now. Because he had gotten what he wanted. They had listened to him. They had saved me. But no one had listened to what I wanted. I didn't want to live. I was done with life. There was nothing left for me. For a long time I had just been a shell of a person. And now... It was like I didn't even have my shell. I was just a... thing. A thing that people took pity on. Pity that I didn't want. I just wanted to die.

And that was exactly what I planned on. It wasn't too late to give up on my promise. To kill myself. So I gave up. Without giving any reasoning, although they didn't need reasoning, I stopped speaking, responding, refused food and water. They could pump whatever they wanted into my arm, but it took more than that to keep a person going once she had lost the will to live. And that was what had happened to me. I even had a funny notion that if I did die, maybe Cato would be allowed to live.

Not as a free person but as an Avox or something, waiting on the future Career Tributes of District 2. It would be miserable. Having to see those who had doomed him to that fate, but it would be better than being dead. Anything was better than being dead. For him, at least. Then maybe he could find some way to escape. Maybe Clio, Darius, and Lavinia could help him. All of those people who had been hurt because of me could get away and enjoy a different kind of life. My death could, in fact, still save him.

If it couldn't, that was no matter. It was enough to die of spite. To punish Haymitch, who, of all the people in this rotting world, had turned Cato and me into pieces in his Games. I trusted him. I put what was precious in Haymitch's hands. And he had betrayed me. Haymitch, who had trained my mother and father in the Games. Haymitch, who had been broken when he couldn't save them. Haymitch, who had tried so hard to keep me alive to make up for them. I hoped that he drank himself to death once I was gone.

 _See, this is why no one lets you make the plans._

That was true. No one in their right mind would let me make the plans. For multiple reasons. Number one, I was never very good with planning. I was better with actions. My plans always failed. Half-deafening myself with the Career supplies, getting Rue killed, and my stupid trick with the knives. Number two, I didn't take orders or work with others well. Number three was the most important of them all. Because I obviously couldn't tell a friend from an enemy.

A lot of people came by to talk to me in the coming days. Most of them were just passing faces. I wasn't sure how so many people had fit on the hovercraft. I knew that this was the one that would pick up the Tribute bodies. For the events like the Bloodbath or the Death Match. Picking up a number of people. And the hospital, designed to clean up a number of messy kills at one time. There must have been at least twenty people on the hovercraft. But the most important person wasn't here.

Plutarch was the first person to come visit me. It didn't shock me. He sat on the edge of the bed as I faced away from me. Secret rebellion or not, I couldn't shake the feeling of all of the things that he had done to me since my first Games. How many things had he set on me? The wolf mutt? The fire? He didn't speak much. He just apologized for what had happened and promised that Cato would still be alive. He didn't understand that having Cato alive was the last thing that I wanted.

Brutus, surprisingly enough, came not long after Plutarch. He wasn't joking. It was the first time that I had seen him serious. In fact, it looked like he might have been crying. It took me a while to understand why. He looked at Cato like he was a son. _Then why didn't you save him?_ But I didn't see that. I just ignored Brutus while he tried to tell me all of the stories about Cato's childhood. It just broke my heart even more. Because his life had been so wonderful until I had barrelled into it.

Then it came to be Seneca Crane's turn to see me. He tried to apologize to me. Countless times. He tried to tell me that he wanted me to know about the plan. He tried to tell me that he would have loved to save Cato. He tried to tell me that he really did care about me and hadn't wanted this. But I didn't care. The only thing that I could think was why he hadn't told me anything that night on the roof. Why he hadn't just come clean. He obviously didn't know either. He looked almost as hurt as Finnick and me.

Haymitch never came to visit me. I was glad. I didn't want to see him. I didn't want to see him ever again. Unless it meant that I could kill him. He was probably feeling the exact same way about me. Finnick spent his time in a similar state, moaning in pain and crying, right in the bed next to me. Beetee was still out. Even days after being evacuated from the arena. He had suffered a very severe impact with the force field. He wouldn't be awake until they could get him better medicine in the Capitol.

There were a number of doctors and nurses that came to speak to me. Each one tried to ask me if I was okay. Obviously they were concerned that I was planning on offing myself. They were right about that. But I didn't tell them that. Instead I just made all their words sound like the clicking of the insects in the jungle. Meaningless and distant. Dangerous, but only if approached. More people, people who were actually trying to speak to me, came to visit. But I blocked them all out. They all looked exactly the same.

The same word was branded over their foreheads. _Traitor._ Not to each other. They were all working at the same cause. But they were a traitor to me. My friends. The people that I had trusted. Whenever the words started to become distinct or I felt the pain, I would moan until they gave me more painkiller and that fixed things right up. That was my next plan. Overdose on whatever type of medicine that they were doing. Either that, or because as numb as the Morphlings.

Until one time, I opened my eyes and found someone that I couldn't block out looking down at me. Someone who would not plead, or explain, or think that he could alter my design with entreaties, because he alone really knew how I operate. He and one other person. Two, technically, but one was as good as dead and the other was nowhere to be found. I looked up into his eyes. Eyes that I had never thought that I would see again. Eyes that I wished that I couldn't see right now.

"Gale," I whispered.

"Hey, Tiger."

Suddenly he reached down and pushed a strand of hair out of my eyes. It wasn't bloody anymore from me trying to crush my skull. Someone had bathed me, maybe. Who knew? I had been in such a drug-induced haze. One side of his face had been burned fairly recently. It wasn't too bad, thankfully. His arm was in a sling, and I could see bandages under his miner's shirt. Now that was a little worse. What had happened to him? How was he even here? Something very bad had happened back home.

It was not so much a question of forgetting Cato as remembering the others. As much as I wanted to linger on his memory, cry myself to sleep until I finally died and went to our meadow, I knew that there were others that I had to be concerned about. Before I left this world I had to make sure that I had at least left some people in it that I still cared about. All it took was one look at Gale and they came surging into the present, demanding to be acknowledged.

That was when I realized that I was not in the same room that I had been in for the past few... weeks? Days? Hours? I couldn't have been sure how long ago that fight with Haymitch was. Or maybe I had been in this room before. Maybe this was the first time that I was really noticing being here. I was laid up on a soft plastic bed and there were harsh bluish-white lights all around me. Medical supplies, too. Definitely a hospital. I was still strung up to machines everywhere. Gale was sitting on the edge of my bed.

"You're okay. You've just been asleep for a few days," Gale said.

"Are we home?" I asked. No answer. Far too long from Gale, who never hid things from me. "Gale?"

"We're in Thirteen."

"Okay."

The place looked strange. Too medical to be District 13. Some place that apparently had all sorts of high-tech weaponry that would have been strong enough to blow the Capitol to smithereens. But the more that I looked the more that I realized that it was definitely more impressive than District 12. Even this one room. But where exactly were we? District 13 couldn't have been in plain sight. People would have noticed. Someone would have noticed. So where was it?

"Cato's family is here, too," Gale said.

"What?" I asked, shocked.

It was the first hint of emotion that I'd felt since knowing that Cato had been taken. "They knew about the plan. They evacuated themselves after the Games. They already knew that they had to leave. They have Skye and Julie with them," Gale explained.

So the entire Hadley family was here. The entire Hadley family had been forced to leave their home. Not only that, but Skye and Julie's lives had been uprooted because of something that I had done. They were here in District 13. And they had known about the plan. They had known that Cato was only an option if they had the time. Which they hadn't. They had known that their son was only a maybe. And they had still smiled and welcomed me into the family at the wedding.

How had they managed it? I remembered the few little biting comments that Aidan and Damien had given me. Suddenly I didn't blame them at all. Suddenly I wished that they had made it so much worse on me. I wished that they had killed me themselves. Because... What was happening to Cato right now? He was likely already being tortured in the Capitol for something that he didn't know about. Tears were now threatening to fall again.

Cato's family, his sweet family that loved me as one of their own, had lost their son. Not dead, but gone, out of our reach, forever. How could that have felt for them, knowing how awful it was for me? Damien and Alana, sobbing over their son. Knowing that if he had just killed me in the first Games, this would have never happened. Dean, who had loved Cato so much. Who had always been there for his little brother. Now trying to support the girl who had doomed him.

Carrie, who had gone to Cato in the middle of the night and sat with him in bed, trying to reassure him that I was still alive. Who had gotten the picture of me so that I could be close when I was so far away. I wished that I had a picture of him right now. Aidan, who already didn't like me. He must have now been plotting ways to kill me. _Please do, Aidan. You have my blessing_. His big brother, his best friend, gone, forever. Leah, who loved her big brother, who was fascinated by the pretty girl on the television.

If only I had never looked at him. Marley... Little Marley... Who hadn't even known why he had left. Who wouldn't know for years why her uncle had stopped coming to see her. And Skye and Julie, Cato's best friends, the two girls who had always been there for him. The two who had loved him unconditionally, even when he had fallen in love with someone else. I wished that he would have been in love with one of them before the first Games. He would have slaughtered me. I would have meant nothing to him.

"They're alive, then?" I asked weakly.

At least they were alive, if I couldn't save Cato. "Yes," another voice called.

My head snapped to the side. "Cat..." I whispered.

She was here, too. Good. They were the two people that I could tolerate seeing right now. The only two people that I could tolerate seeing right now. The only two people that I would ever want to see again. A final comfort before my death. Katniss was limping slightly. She looked like she might have either taken a bad fall or broken something in her leg. The edge of her arm was burned. Just like the side of Gale's face. What had happened to them?

"Hey, sweetie," Katniss said, coming to sit on the other side of my bed. She grabbed my shaking hand. "They're gonna come visit you when you're feeling better."

The thought of Cato's family standing at the foot of my bed, either crying or furious, was enough to break me from my lethargy. To have them look me in the eyes and scream at me for damning their son would have been a worse punishment than anything the Capitol could have done to me. Or, even worse, having them telling me that it wasn't my fault. I couldn't tolerate that anymore. It was my fault. It was theirs for not telling me, but it was mine for starting all of this.

"Don't. Tell them that I don't want to see them," I said determinedly.

As much as it might have been a little nice to see Cato's family, to see some part of him that had been left behind, since the baby was nothing more than a play to the Capitol Sponsors, I couldn't. There was nothing more to remind me of Cato. Nothing. I had lost everything except my memories. I didn't want to see them. I never wanted to see them again. I wanted to forget about Cato and his family. Because his memories were far too painful.

"Aspen -" Katniss started.

That was when I realized that someone else was missing. "Prim?" I gasped.

"She's alive," Gale said.

"So is our mother. We got them out in time," Katniss said.

Got them out in time? What was that supposed to mean? All of the words that they were saying made complete sense. I knew what each one of them meant. But they couldn't string together to make a coherent thought. No matter how hard I tried. It had only been a few days. Things had been tense all over Panem, but what could have possibly happened in the past few days? What had they done? Had my fears while the arena had been collapsing around me come true? Had they done something to my home?

"They're not in District 12?" I asked.

"After the Games, they sent in planes. Dropped firebombs." Gale hesitated. My stomach was turning in knots. "Well, you know what happened to the Hob," Gale muttered.

That was when the true horror of what must have happened back home sank into me. I did know what he was talking about. I was right there. I saw it go up. We all did. All three of us. We had been standing right there. Not far away. That old warehouse embedded with coal dust. The whole District was covered with the stuff. A new kind of horror began to rise up inside me even worse than before as I imagined firebombs hitting the Seam.

"They're not in District 12?" I repeated. As if saying it would somehow fend off the truth.

"Aspen," Gale said softly.

The twinge in my heart was just as bad as the one when I had realized that Cato was lost to me. But this one was because now my home must have been gone, too. Katniss's hands on my grip tightened and I realized that she was crying. Her hands were shaking. And I recognized that voice that he was using. It was the same one that he used to approach wounded animals before he delivered a deathblow. I instinctively raised my hand to block his words but he caught it and held on tightly.

The each had one, but it didn't make it any better. "Don't," I whispered.

But Gale was not one to keep secrets from me. He never had been. "Aspen, there is no District 12. It's all gone."

It was exactly like my fear in the arena. The wondering of what was going to happen to my family. I should have known that President Snow would fight back against whatever I had done in the arena. I should have known that he was going to do that. I should have known that he was going to take away the things that were the most important to me. My will to live... My will to fight... My will to be the Mockingjay... Cato... My home... What was it that Snow had said to me that day?

 _You should imagine thousands upon thousands of your people dead. This town of yours reduced to ashes. Imagine it gone. A radioactive buried under dirt as if it never existed, like District 13._

He had been telling the truth. I had known it back then. But I had thought that I would be able to pacify what he wanted me to do. I thought that I would be able to solve things. But I had only made them even worse. District 12 had been burned to the ground. Cato was in a state that was even worse than dead. I wished that I was dead. But there was one thing that I knew. One thing that I might manage to push through the everlasting pain for. To watch President Snow die. To watch him burn.

 **A/N:** Here is the final chapter of Burn! I hope that you've enjoyed it. Soon enough I will have out the first chapter of the final piece of the trilogy. I'll post a new chapter with the name of the new story once I have it written. Thank you for the follows and favorites! **Please review!** Until next time -A

 **Arianna Le Fay: Oh, I'm so sorry, but I had to do it! I hope that you enjoyed the story anyways :) The first chapter of the sequel should be out reasonably soon!**


	22. Sequel Announcement

Hi everyone!

Thanks so much for continuing to read, follow, favorite, and review! I'll be keeping an eye on this story but I wanted to let you all know that the sequel has been posted. Its called Ablaze and it's on my profile. Feel free to check it out and let me know what you think!

Until next time -A


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